Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 208 - Cocaine Boots

Episode Date: August 31, 2019

The boys are back with another episode, and this time they're prepping for a hard week of nerding out. And how do you prep for that you may ask? Buying weird foods - in this case - gushers apparently. Also Jesse has pizza dreams, Crendor drinks too much apple juice, and the internet is a weird place! All this and more on this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Right now, Cox n’ Crendor listeners get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at http://calm.com/COX Order your Health + Ancestry kit at http://23andMe.com/COX and you can Meet Your Genes in 125+ in personalized genetic reports.

Today's episode is brought to you by 23andMe. DNA testing can tell you all about your ancestors, but more importantly, it can tell you about yourself. We'll learn about that and come. We're brought to you today by Calm. It's going to keep you chill. It's going to keep you relaxed. And it's going to give you a better night's sleep.

It's just going to happen. We'll talk about that as well. Let's jump into this podcast. Woo! Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Treadmill. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, welcome to another exciting episode of Guy's Grandeur in the Morning. Hey, how's it going? How is it going? How are you? Uh, man, I'm doing alright.

I was asking people at home, I wasn't really talking to you. Oh, sorry. I figured we'd wait for them and then they'd say something and like door the explorer would be like wow they're doing it i feel like most people when you're like how you doing they're like i'm doing all right but even if they're not doing all right they'll say that you know i say things like fantastic or i'm doing swell and they're like wow that's terrific And I'm like yeah dude My body's falling apart

I'm alright Oh man I actually this week was feeling really great I was doing so well And then yesterday I met the boys And we went out and got pizza At this place called Roberta's that's just delicious

But We decided to go to ham. We ordered so much stuff that I left there like, oh. And then I had pizza dreams. Last night I had, have you ever had pizza dreams? Do you know what pizza dreams are? I have not. Whenever I eat pizza, if I eat it within 12 hours of sleeping,

I will have the craziest effing dreams. Dreams that are like really crazy. Things that I wake up from and I'm like, what the hell was that? Last night, I dreamt that I was on a boat and the water was made of screens. Yes, I'm aware that makes no sense. Doesn't matter. It was a dream. When I looked Yes, I'm aware that makes no sense. Doesn't matter. It was a dream.

When I looked overboard, I realized it was all fish. But they talked to me and they kept telling me that I was doing a great job. And I was like, what am I doing a good job at? And they were like, ruining the environment. I was like, what? And then I tried to swim my way through the fish and they kept biting me. And so I finally made it to land and I was like, I'm not going back in the water. And I turned around.

The fish were all me. Why do you always have these weird rhetorical question dreams? That was a pizza dream. My normal dreams are like, oh, man, I don't know that I'm going to get my video uploaded on time. Like that's most of my normal dreams are like that. Where it's like, oh geez, I'm anxious about something that's going to happen. Or I'll have a dream where it's like, I'm on a beach and everything's pretty cool. Right?

But whenever I have pizza, the dreams crank up to 12 and they're like, I think maybe I'm a pizza psychic and I have premonitions I don't know that is weird should I write it all down should I cocks your domus this thing and be like lo the 24th pentacle of nines I mean sure if you want

I mean it sounds like a lot of work I'm real I never get that I'll get like the anxiety dreams of like a lot of times i'll be like i need to sleep but i can't sleep like in the dream and i'll be like oh no it's like noon and i haven't slept i gotta wake up at one and i'm like oh no and then i wake up and i'm like oh i did sleep uh i also had a dream i don't even know if i probably mentioned this i had a dream where i ordered a panera egg sandwich and forgot to pick it up and i had to go back if i probably mentioned this i had a dream where i ordered a panera egg

sandwich and forgot to pick it up and i had to go back but i had to go to like barnes and noble for some reason and it was like panera egg sandwich oh like a fried egg yeah like a egg mcmuffin type thing but from panera oh yeah okay i thought you meant like an egg salad sandwich and i was less interested in you going to panera to get an egg sandwich and me actually going there to get an egg salad sandwich because I haven't had an egg salad sandwich in literal years. That would be just lovely, I bet. Probably. But yeah, I've had some crazy dreams about apple juice.

I've never had an apple juice dream. Maybe you should try that. See if it's similar. I mean, I have apple juice in my house. I've never had an apple juice dream. Maybe you should try that. See if it's similar. I mean, I have apple juice in my house. I've never had an apple juice dream. Do it. Drink some apple juice before you go to bed. Report back.

I try not to drink a lot before I go to bed because I found out for a while before I went to bed, I would just drink a bunch of water. I don't know why. I just would. And then I'd wake up in the middle of the night having to pee so badly. Oh, yeah. So I no longer do that. I'd wake up in the middle of the night having to pee so badly. Oh, yeah, I get that. So I no longer do that. I'm like, you know what?

I'd rather not. If I have to be up in six hours, I'd rather not wake up three hours in and then have to go back to sleep. Yeah. Because that sounds like terrible REM habits. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to stop drinking stuff, you know, a few hours before I go to bed. It's a good idea. I mean, I've had that too where I'll be like, I'm going to drink a thing of almond milk

and water. And then I wake up and I'm just like, oh God, I bladder hurts. And you're like, run the bathroom. But yeah, I feel like that's only going to get worse the older I get. So I might as well curb that now where I'm like, oh man. Yeah. Last night I had my weird dream and I was like, what the hell is this? And then I woke up, went to the bathroom, and then because I'm an idiot, drank some more water.

And was like, okay, you know what? My mouth is dry. I'm going to drink this water. Went back to bed, and then like four hours later popped awake like, oh, I got to pee. Thankfully, it was roughly the time I needed to be up anyway, but man, I'm telling you, I need to stop drinking altogether.

Just drinking fluids. Yeah, just the concept of fluids. If you can't put it in a gusher, I don't want to eat it. Wait, why a gusher? I don't know. I just thought that gusher was the weirdest way to give someone food.

I thought it would be fun. You know, a gusher, inside of it has the goo that's kind of like a liquid. I almost died once with a gusher. Why? How? What? I choked on it. I was eating a pack of gushers, and I inhaled it, and I was like,

and I walked my dad, and I was like, and he was like, what are you doing? I was like trying to point the, like, I'm choking. And then I just like coughed it out and I was like, I was choking on the gusher and he's like, oh, uh, I wonder, does everyone know what a gusher is? If you don't know what a gusher is at home, gushers are fruit snacks, but in the middle of the fruit snacks is, I want to to say juice but it's not juice it's like you it's like corn syrup liquid yeah it's not very healthy on any level but it does taste

good i'm not gonna lie it's very if you're if you're like a kid coming home from school that is the sugar high you need you're like oh gosh i haven't had gushers in man it's probably been 20 years yeah so i'm saying gushers i keep seeing them every day that i go by the cereal aisle in the cereal they always have the fruit snacks and i always see the fruit snacks i'm like man i want a fruit snack i feel like we need to buy some gushers uh i i what is what like we need to buy some Gushers. What is going on in the world of Gushers? I see them every once in a while at convenience marts, and they have different flavors now. Yeah.

Gushers. There's a Gushers Twitter? I don't... There is a Gushers Twitter. The Gushers commercials. Look at the 1997 Gushers commercials. Oh, my God. If you are at home, go look that up. They just tweeted four days ago.

It's state fair season, so that means it's time for this to resurface. Deep fried Gushers. I'm going to hard pass on that. Yeah. They have tropical flavor Gushers. They have super sour Gushers. Mood Morphers. What does that mean? Mood Morphers. What does that mean mood morphers?

Mood more sweet and sour variety packs they oh there. Oh the Gushers people is also the fruit roll-ups people oh Oh Sour What is them? Oh? wait Do they make Gushers just people search make Dunkaroos. Wait. Do they make Dunkaroos? Oh, it's just people search for Dunkaroos. Why can't I look at... Gushers.

I want to click mood morphers, but it won't take me to the mood morpher section. I don't know. Gushers. What is a mood morpher? Gushers. Super sour mood. Mood morphers. What is that?

What is a mood morpher? That doesn't... That doesn't... It has four and a half stars on Amazon. What does that mean, though? What do you mean? I don't know. All right, let's see. What do I got in here?

What? Oh, this is weird. They're fruit punch flavored, but they change on the color of your tongue. And I guess it's supposed to be like a mood ring Except it's your tongue So it like stains your tongue a color And that's supposed to be your mood Interesting

What? Dude, they're two bucks at Target Two bucks? I love the comments The comments on Gushers Jack writes I think these are better left to kids I mean, that's what it's marketed for Comments. The comments on Gushers. Jack writes, I think these are better left to kids.

I mean, that's what it's marketed for. I remember loving these as a kid, but eating them recently, I just gave them away after eating a few. Maybe the ones I got rolled or something. Honestly, can't tell. I'm sure a kid would have loved them because it's candy. There you go.

Well, Tell you what I'm gonna get some gushers and I'm gonna get a mama report back Oh this is true this guy says I love gushers But the package I received contains a lot of smushed gushers That's all they were You open the box and they were all like glued together With gross juice

Oh yeah You could never see one gusher because all the gushers were stuck together yeah yeah that's that's just part of the experience I don't think I want any gushers the more I look at them the more I'm like I'm gonna pass well they're two bucks I'll buy them I'll eat like one and then you know all right well now that we know that what else is going on with you that isn't gushers related uh i mean that's a great question um it shouldn't be it's very simple it shouldn't be like a hard to answer question besides now that you want gushers what else is going on uh let's see i've been paying more Warhammer. Uh. I saw.

They were looking very good. Yeah, yeah. Still doing that. Uh, prepping for Classic WoW. That's coming out. And by prep, I mean just buying food to eat. Yeah, I've been. I think that's our week.

I've been putting off doing that. I think tomorrow I'm going to go to the grocery store. And I'm going to just, like, get really healthy, not 2005 Jesse foods. And I'm going to, you know, probably get some juice and maybe like some sparkling waters or something. And then, I don't know, something nice. Get some like ready-made meals that aren't frozen. Not a bad idea. Try to live my life.

Yeah, I'm going to try and get real healthy with it. And you know there's going to be a lot of people doing their junk food diets. Not me. I'm going to be injecting nutrition into my veins. If I'm going to sit in a chair for as many hours as I think I'm going to, I'm going to wake up tomorrow, get on the old treadmill, ang-ba-dang, get on the treadmill, try to do some type of workout before I sit down for hours

and then pass out. So I need to do something with my morning. I need to do something. Then I will go grocery shopping, and then I'll play. Because I think it starts at 3? Yeah. Pacific time? So my plan, I'll wake up at like 2.

Right? And then, you know, practically there already. Probably go to the store. You know, get everything ready, situated. And maybe I'll paint a little bit and then I'll play. I think it's funny that everyone's sort of on that Like weird Alright so it's launch day

So we gotta be prepared It very much feels like The early 2000's Like that 2000-ish A new game's coming out bros So everyone get on the spreadsheet And mark down what and class you're gonna be so we know where you're starting where you're spawning you're like oh my god it reminds me back

in like when burning crusade or wrath yes like those ones came out and your guild was like okay we have got a lot of work ahead of us you're like oh all right sure well back then i'd be like yeah whatever but now i'm like oh nice, nice. I'm streaming it. It's very strange, but I love it. I love that people are excited. I'm excited. I'm having a great time. I just think it's like crazy that that's the case.

I think it's fun. It's like a big event or something. It's like everybody's coming to the festival or something like that. I think it's really neat. I'm excited to see a lot of new people come back. I'm more excited to see... I'll be real. You know me. I'm kind of a dick. So I'm excited to see people

who are really excited and then burn out very quickly. The people who are like, yeah! And then they just burn out. Oh, that won't be me. I've already gotten a 40 in the beta. And then I had what was it i think i got a 20 26 or 7 gnome rogue and then i had a level 11 priest and then something else i played

some av and i'm still ready to go uh so i'm i'm ready but i also you know i played classic vanilla wow so i know what to expect and i was like well, well, I expect what I'm expecting. And it was what I was expecting. Actually, I had more fun than I expected. Same here. Same here. I will say I was expecting to be bored and a little like, meh. I'm still expecting that to happen. I'll be honest.

It's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll, baby. It is. Old WoW is rough. But the bit that I did play play I had a lot of fun And playing with you had fun And then playing a dungeon When I did it with Talion and stuff Was fun

It's fun because people aren't taking it too seriously I'm afraid people will start to Because all betas When I played betas for Overwatch Or betas for any game really It was so much fun and you're just goofing around Having a good time and the minute it becomes live and people are like

you're specced incorrectly and if you want to be a part of this run you must and you're like you're ruining this for everyone you son of a bitch. Yeah. Yeah there's some people they do go overboard. But that's why I think the start is always the most fun.

Yeah. So that's why I'm hyped for the start of everything. Plus, while leveling in beta, I was like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to have my hunter. I'm going to get to 40. I'm going to get my mount. That was my goal. I was like, I'm smart now. I'm not like 14 anymore.

I have the, like, all right, save up my money. Know what I'm doing. And I was still 20 gold short. And I was like, I'm making a warlock and getting a free mount. It's a smart move. I'm doing the same thing where 20 gold short and I was like I'm making a warlock and get a free map it's smart smart move I'm doing the same thing where I just don't want to wait but I can afford a mount

I'll work on that but I don't want to I need I need portals I need to be able to travel so I was like I'm gonna be a mage I'm gonna be a mage and just open portals myself yeah it's not a bad idea and you get blink. Yeah. That's pretty good.

I'm just, you know, I'll be fine. I would, if I wanted to be useless, go Druid. And then I'd be able to do everything. And I'd feel so good about my life. But I truly don't care. You'd be useless. Yeah. I want to do things.

Yeah. I've been kind of taking it easy the last few days, even stream-wise. I'll stream like a couple hours, just ramping up for the big time streams ahead. It's going to be a blast. I'm really excited. I think it's going to be a lot of fun. And where are we? We're on the Stalag server, so that should be a treat.

Yeah, we're Stalag. I mean, who knows? Who knows? I still think that no matter what, two weeks from now, every server that's like, 80,000 people are waiting to get online, now it's going to be like, yeah, no, no, they all left. They'll definitely lose a good chunk. The internet is so fickle, and WoW is old.

Classic WoW is a different game. And people, I don't think, have the patience for it. I mean, God bless them. There's going to be a lot of people that will, that will be like, this is it. This is what I've been waiting for. But all the people that I see on my Twitter feed that are like streamers, that are like, I'm so excited. You're like, oh, yeah, they won't.

I'm glad you're excited. They'll ride the hype and then they'll probably be like all right what's the new game coming out yeah oh absolutely plus a good chunk of streamers they're like variety streamers more so so um yeah i mean i guess that's that's our life prepping for prepping for food we gotta prep for food gotta prep for food and for some reason that now involves gushers i i don't know why well uh you know as we get closer to the release of wild classic we're gonna have to like change up our sleep you know because we gotta wake up a little later if you're gonna try and pull that all-nighter thing and the best way to get that good night's sleep before you start launch day,

telling you it's all about calm, baby, you will be blown away by how well it'll help you sleep, especially if you're struggling, especially if you're like, oh, man, I got to be up and I got to play the game and I got to go like 15 hours. You're going to need that good sleep. And the best way to get it is with a helpful sleep aid like Calm. It's but a simple app, but seriously will change the way you sleep, the way you relax. One in three adults doesn't even get enough sleep.

And if you're not sleeping enough, it could affect your cognitive functions, which is, you know, you're not grinding hard enough, y'all. Learning, what builds do you make? Problem solving, you're trying grinding hard enough y'all Learning What builds do you make Problem solving You're trying to beat that boss in a dungeon Decision making You're going to run a dungeon with Grendor and I Terrible choices

That's because you're not sleeping well It's like a magic potion A healing potion if you will for your brain and body When we sleep well We're our most focused and relaxed And that's going to be great for you nerdlingers who are about to go out and have a great time in Azeroth. So, we have partnered, as you know, with Calm. It is the number one app for sleep.

I use it for more than that. I use it to wake up and have a little chill-out session in the morning. It takes like 10 minutes to just relax and get focused, my daily meditation. That's what I use it to wake up and like have a little chill out session in the morning. It takes like 10 minutes to just like relax and get focused. My daily meditation. That's what I use it for right now. You, our listeners can get 25% off a calm premium subscription at C A L M.com slash Cox. That's calm.com slash Cox C A L M.com slash Cox. 40 million people have downloaded Calm.

Find out why. It's so simple, and I'm telling you, it'll knock your ass out. Also today, we're brought to you by 23andMe DNA testing. Can tell you so much about your life. And 23andMe makes it so much easier to understand all the information. The app they provide, just when you go through it, you're like, oh, that's interesting. I didn't know that. Oh, look at this little helpful chart, this graph.

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being like, tell your doctor everything. Like, even if you're like, it's weird, tell him everything. And this can help with that. This can help you unlock things that may come up in your future. And it's all about preventative medicine, right? You don't want to deal with it after the fact. You want to prevent having the problem. You don't want to be like, well, now I have diabetes, right? You want to be like, how do I not get there?

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23andMe.com slash Cox is where you go for that important information So order your health and ancestry kit at 23andme.com slash cox And meet your genes in 125 personalized genetic reports That's the number 23andme.com slash cox To find out more about yourself today Alright Crandor let's go to chapter 7 of the Sky with Crandor Crandor how's the traffic out there? Traffic's not too good.

The gusher truck just tipped over, and there are gushers all over the road. It is backed up for miles. It is sticky out there, and it smells like chemical fruit. If you're going anywhere on the 808, 905, the 702, the 601, the 81, the 85, the 88, or the 99, you're going to be backed

up for a while and your cars are going to get sticky. So watch out out there. I do. Speaking of which, I drove on the 405 today and it sucked. I was stuck on it for like two hours. Let me tell you. Oy, I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate it.

Oh yeah, people were driving You know when traffic is moving There's always one person in the fast lane That's like I'm having a day I'm going on my way And you're like drive And you have to get around them

And the person next to you is like I'm stuck Oh I hate it Meanwhile everyone else is zooming past you. You're like, I'm stuck. I can't. Oh, I hate it. I hate it. Meanwhile, everyone else is zooming past you. You're like trapped between two idiots. Oh, I hate it. That too. Made me crazy. I almost

drove an old man off the road. I need to get home. I've been in the car an hour and a half. Just move. I'm almost there. I'm almost there. Go. there go go yeah all right well what's going on in the weather in the weather we're gonna look up gush gush gush and we're gonna go to gusher utah of course we are wait Wait, that's not Gusher, Utah.

That's Fort Duchesne. Maybe Fort Duchesne is in Gusher, Utah. Maybe it's like a Gusher where you go to eat it, but when you bite down inside, there's a Fort Duchesne inside. Ah, I think you're right. Fort Duchesne is the sweet filling to the Gusher, Utah. Well, if anyone knows, tell us. Over in Fort Duchesne, Gusher, Utah, 83 degrees.

Feels like 83 degrees. You got a high of 83 degrees. You got a low of 53 degrees. You got an EV index of zilch, not a zero. The next 36 hours, you got 53 degrees tonight, 90 on monday 49 monday night what a drop off 88 tuesday and then 50 tuesday night wow that's the old uh high lows you get like 50 degrees higher in the night or the the day and then you hit like 50 degrees lower at night that's a wow you go back and forth that's the old high low.

That's the old high low right there. Humidity 33%. Wind is 9 miles an hour. UV index 0 of 10. Sunrise at 639 a.m. Sunset at 802 p.m. I don't know about you, but I like this current sunrise set time. I think I mentioned this the last time I was around here.

I like when the sun rises around like 6.30am and it sets around 8pm. I feel like that's just a great natural time clock. Yeah? You think so? I think so. And I think some people would be like, yeah, well it's not going to stay like that

and if it did, the Earth would... Like, I get it. But if I could have it the way I wanted, this is the time. If I could control the planet. Yeah. If I was president of Earth, that's the way I'd make it. I'm Earth president, and this is what will happen.

I order the sun to rise at 630 every day. I, Earth president. So, that's Gusher, Utah. All right. And sports. Sports.

Welcome to the sports desk. We got some sports action today. But do we? Maybe not. Maybe not. I don't know. You made me question everything. But do we? let's see we've got some nfl preseason football happening right now uh and finally there's only one week left in

the preseason thank god i always get really hyped for the preseason so i'm like nice football's back and then it's just the most boring football games known to man because they're like all right the starters will play one drive in one game and then like a couple of them get injured um and then all the people that are going to get cut anyway end up playing and there's like one or two of them that make the team sure of course and then finally we're uh what is it i think we're about a week and a half away from the actual football season starting so that's pretty fun we're about a week and a half away from the actual football season starting. So that's pretty fun. We're getting there.

I mean, everyone gets really hype about opening day. But the first game is always kind of like, eh. Everybody's a little rusty. Yeah, everyone's a little rusty. But I guess it's for the fans, right? Everyone's like, yeah, we're back. I get really drunk in public. But if you watch them, the games are kind of

like... Yeah. Yeah, usually the first like three or four weeks, everybody's kind of off a little bit, and then they start kind of they start gelling, and then by mid to late season, they're like a well-oiled machine. That's why the Browns need to really step it up at the beginning.

They can get four wins right off the bat if they just try. They can do it. Then they can go four and whatever. They'll be fine. They're actually looking good this year. You say that, man. They've made a bunch of changes. They've got the second-year quarterback that's got promise.

They've got Odell Beckham Jr. now. They've got some defense stuff quarterback that's got promise they got odell beckham jr now they've got some defense stuff like they're like a pretty good they could make the playoffs they will not they will not make the playoffs you know what i say they will i say they won't gentlemen's bet and now the bengals are even worse we don't even need to talk about the bengals that's just a waste of everyone's time um oh and the other big news andrew luck retired i don't know who that is about that who's andrew uh well andrew luck is one of the best quarterbacks the nfl well was uh with the indianapolis colts and he was uh he's 29 years old he's like my age and he's just like, I've had

so many injuries. I have so much pain. I can't do it anymore. I don't wanna. And he just retired. Man, I feel bad. Football, I get it. They make a lot of money. But they wreck their bodies for entertainment. They really do. I would not do that. I would be like, you know what? What if I was

the kicker? What if the worst thing happened to me was I tripped over myself and looked like an idiot or didn't get it in the uprights? You'd probably pull your hamstring. Maybe you'd tear an ACL. I'd probably pull a groin muscle or something, knowing me. Oh, yeah. My kick would be, like, too wild. He pulled all of his groin muscles.

Oh, that poor man. Just like, uh. he pulled all of his groin muscles oh that poor man just like uh the thing with being a kicker too is that you get so much pressure put on you for being yes like nonchalant because like everyone's like yeah he's just a kicker whatever and then it's like here we go game winning field goal and everyone's like you better make it this is to go to the thing and then if you miss it you're like kill him here's the worst person in history here's the thing town and if he makes it he's like whoa i'd be i'd be the guy who was like don't blame me my team had literally three hours to get that shit in there it's not my fault that i have to come in and save them every damn thing i'd be up in front of the microphone like blame the rest of

these assholes don't blame me i was drunk when i kicked that field goal i've been sitting on the bench all day. What do you expect me to do? What do you expect me to do? I've never been sober this entire season. I haven't been sober for 15 years. That's pretty much sports. All right.

What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Is being looked up by Crandall right now. Is being looked up by me right now. And Braves fan for the Atlanta Braves arrested attempting to bring cocaine and cowboy boot to SunTrust Park. arrested attempting to bring cocaine in cowboy boot to SunTrust Park. You know,

I feel like that's going to be someone's opening day now to football. If they can do it in baseball, why can't I do it in football? Alright, yeah. So he tried to bring coke in a cowboy boot. I don't know why that... Was he wearing the cowboy boot or did he just have a

cowboy boot with him? Well, we're i guess we are dustin dustin luther wilkes was arrested at sun trust park in georgia last wednesday after allegedly trying to bring cocaine into the stadium inside a cowboy style boot for a baseball game between the atlanta braves and new york mets oh yeah for a game like that you need you need some drugs oh no doubt yeah that's a game like that, you need some drugs. Oh, no doubt. Yeah, that's a drug game. That's definitely a drug game. Rosie Mannins of the Marietta Daily Journal reported Thursday that Wilkes set off the metal detector while attempting to enter SunTrust Park. A subsequent search reportedly led stadium security to staff to discover a clear plastic baggie with white powder substance suspected to be cocaine, which Wilkes twice attempted to conceal during the search. Cobb County arrested the 39-year-old.

He's been charged with a single count of felony cocaine possession. He's released on a $3,000 bond. Wait, so it was in his shoe? Or did he have a shoe with it in it? I don't think I... I think he had the boot. On? He was wearing the boot.

Yeah, he was wearing it. And then he put the cocaine in his boot? Yeah. And then I think he tried to hide it when they were like, what do you got there? And he's like, nothing. He tried to wiggle it away or something. But the metal detector caught something

else. And it just so happened that he thought it was the cocaine. Can I tell you something? This is not the first time this guy has gone to a Braves game with coke. There's no way you do this that like I put it in my boot. Unless you really are just comfortable with doing that. How much did he bring with him?

Was it a lot? Did he bring enough to share? What was the... There's no details. You think there's details? I know there's never details. I just have questions. Why did he do it?

Was he like, well, you know, I put it on my hot dog. It makes those dogs taste way better. Let me tell you. A little mustard, a little sauerkraut, a little cocaine. Pepsi right up. Gets me through the seventh inning. Yeah, there's no details. Just, you know, what he did, and then he paid his bond.

Of course he can, because the dude's dealing coke. A man can get out of jail. He's like, I have the money. Don't worry. That's crazy. Why would you do that? You know what? You're an addict if you can't go a baseball game's worth of time without doing coke.

Yeah, that's pretty bad. Or again, he was like, the only way I go to baseball is if I have coke, because it bores me to tears. Yeah. So that happened. Uh-huh. And then there's another story everyone keeps sending us. A Florida man met another guy on a eunuch fetish site, then castrated him. What?

The 74 year old Man from the rest of the world First off there are two huge things here One Eunuch fetish sites I feel like if you're a eunuch The fetish is that you don't have The ability to

Reproduce I don't know And thus the emp Empress won't be taken by her eunuchs? I don't know. There's got to be some deep-seated evolution gene happening in there.

That makes you like... Okay, and then someone went there, met a person and was like, I want to make you a eunuch. Was it the ancient Someone went there, met a person, and was like, I want to make you a eunuch. Yes. Was it the ancient Chinese empress who needed it for her? Like, the Empress Wei has returned from the dead and seeks eunuchs for her new empire.

Like, what? All right. I need the story. What's going on? If she did, she picked the wrong guy. Very Van Ryswick. What was this guy's name? Gary Van Ryswick. What was this guy's name? Gary Van Rizwick.

Uh-huh. Okay. 74 has been charged with the second-degree felony of practicing medicine without a license resulting in bodily injury. What? He was arrested for allegedly performing a botched castration surgery on another man he'd met online through a fetish website for Unix. According to the arrest report, the sheriff's deputies arrived at his house just before midnight on Sunday while responding to a 911 hang-up call.

These are pretty routine, and deputies respond to many of them per shift, but most of them don't make the cut when it comes to being memorable. This is not like a funny, memorable thing. This sounds terrible. This sounds like no cop is like, hey, I walked in and there was blood

everywhere hilarious like it doesn't sound okay Van Ruzwick told the deputies he had just removed the testicles of the man he met on a website for those that have a fetish for castration what is the fetish what doesn't what is the fetish

I don't know I don't know I know they say like don't know. I don't know. I know they say, like, don't mock anyone's fetishes, but... This one's pretty crazy. This one's crazy. This is crazy. Another section of the house was set up as a makeshift surgical room complete with medical equipment and a camera to record the procedure.

Oh, my God. The victim was flown to Tampa Hospital for life-saving measures and is currently in stable condition. camera to record the procedure. Oh my god. Jesus. The victim was flown to Tampa Hospital for life-saving measures and is currently in stable condition. I'd say the hospital is not aware if they've been reattached. I'm going to go with no.

I'm going to go with yes. I'm going to say, you know what? They put those back on just out of spite. Like, you want to get rid of these? No, my friend. We're gluing those suckers back on. Super glue if we got it. Let's see. Van Ruzwick. Wait.

Using painkillers he'd purchased online from England, as well as forceps and scalpels he'd acquired, Van Ruzwick said he began the procedure on Sunday around 10 p.m., but the victim's uncontrollable bleeding made it difficult for him to use clear suture material or stitches to try and close the wound uh van rizwik said he had told the man he performed castration on bulls and other animals while living on a farm in his youth and removed one of his own testicles in 2012. Ben Rizwick was arrested on Monday and is now being held in jail.

What the hell is going on? The internet is dark. The internet is too dark for me. You know what? I'm done. I'm out. This shit's crazy. I'm out. Internet, you've officially... I know you're crazy, internet, but I can't. I can't with you. I can't with you. I mean, just look at this guy.

I don't want to look at this person. I don't want you. I mean, just look at this guy. This guy looks like a mad scientist. I don't want to look at this person. I don't want to see the face of death. He looks like a mad scientist. Oh, my God. He does. He definitely looks like a mad scientist. Here's the thing.

There once was a time when you were insane. You couldn't reach out to another equally insane person. Like, the likelihood of you getting together Was very difficult Now It's just a click away And it's not good for society I'm being real with you It's not good

That completely insane people can get together And be like you know What if we just cut off our testicles What And then the guy was like You're right you should and be like, you know, what if we just cut off our testicles? Yeah, like, what? And then the guy was like, you're right, you should. That's nuts. I'm going to pass on that one, literally.

That is so nuts. Literally, it's literally nuts. Get it? You get it? All right, well, that's it for us, everybody. Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this podcast Crandor hit up the socials

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