Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 217 - Where's Tommy?

Episode Date: October 29, 2019

The boys are back once again and this time Jesse has a run in with a potential ghost! Meanwhile Crendor finds himself yearning for the days when he was a clean shaven baby boy. Also - what were you up to in 1986? This and more questions as well as the untold story of Olaf from Frozen on this exciting new episode of Cox n' Crendor! HoneyBook is offering our listeners 50% off when you visit http://tryhoneybook.com/cox Get a free pair of socks with purchase at http://stance.com/cox

Today's episode is brought to you by Stance. If you want some incredible socks that are insanely comfortable and are unmatched in their durability, you are going to want to hear what we have to say about Stance's casual everyday styles. Also today, we're brought to you by HoneyBook. HoneyBook is going to help you get through your to-do list. HoneyBook is here for your business so you can get rid of all those admin tasks and contracts and proposals and all of that. HoneyBook can help. We'll talk about that as well. Let's jump into this podcast.

Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour reporting studios. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Cax and Cretton on the morning. Oh, hey. Oh, what were of Cax and Cretton on the Morning. Oh, hey. Oh, what were you doing? Were you on another podcast? I got distracted in the brief, like, 20 seconds that you were talking. I believe that. I believe that possibility of that happening. Yes. Listen, I've been doing this, like, 10 years.

My mind is, like, rotted from the, like, YouTube, Twitch. twitch it's all it just eats away i was waiting to see what had what you would blame your rotted mind on it's nice to know it's youtube and twitch but not this podcast oh no this this keeps me fresh this keeps me young right right right yeah we're we're definitely known on the internet as two wild young guys. This podcast where we complain about everything. Every five episodes, we have another, you know what I hate? Grocery stores. Every 20 episodes, I'm like, man, remember back when I used to make other videos where I had no hair and now I have hair in videos?

That's crazy. What? What? What? I remember those days when you were a freshly shorn baby, your little baby Crendor. Yeah. Well, I did the thing where like I went back and I watched my Crendor IRL stuff

and I'm just like, Oh my God. And that's one of the things like, you know, you grow up. So you're just like, Oh my God, that was young me.

So you still see yourself, but now you see like the matured version of yourself. It's like seeing the grape. Ah, matured is maybe the wrong word. I don't know that I used the word matured. Aged up. I'm like the grape in the vineyard back then. Now I'm like a full-blown cabernet.

Oh, I was going to say a raisin, but you're right. You're a cabernet. Well, a little bit of a raisin. Maybe you're the cabernet and I'm the raisin. They just didn't pick my ass. They let me stay out there. I think part of it, again, I feel like I've just said this all the time, but I keep realizing it.

I just tried so hard, and now I've just quit that. And I think that's the biggest thing. And now I've become confident in my ability to not try. Again, I feel like you're looking at this with rosy colored glasses. I don't know if I've ever known you to try. Not just rose glasses. These are some rosy glasses. Yeah, rosy glasses.

Everything looks like wine. Yeah, I think you've always been the not-tryer guy. Well, but now you've embraced it that of who you really were yes i think back then i was not trying but i was like trying to not try now i just really don't try i mean that i believe that and i'm confident in that not trying yeah back then you were the guy who oh i don't even try. I'm just so cool. And now you're just like, eh. Exactly.

Which is way cooler. Yeah, it's very true. And I think that's just getting older. You know, it happens to everybody. You just grow into your thing. It's like I had this weird realization because I was at the mall and I was sitting there having my post-workout smoothie. And this woman came over and she's like hey do you know where this store is and i was like i mean i think it's over there and she was like oh okay

and i was like do i look like somebody that knows where all the stores are here like i don't know i maybe you do how often are you there uh i mean i walk there all the time i guess but then i was thinking back to my old self and i feel like old crendor would have been like because i just you know well you're confident you've been working out you got that muscle tone ladies coming up to you asking for directions next thing you know i'm gonna be like do you know the way to my underwear you're gonna be like are they me undies and i'll be like he should check out this podcast and then they'll promote it and then toast will be like did you talk to a woman and

i'll be like don't worry i just told her to listen to the podcast and hopefully she'll buy some me undies don't worry she just wants my me undies deal and then toast will be like i'm still not okay with this what are you doing you'll be, I don't know what I'm doing. He'll suddenly become senile. Who was talking to me? I don't know. Was that a girl? I'm an old person.

Probably hitting that point now. Then, dude, at the gym. So, like, now I've, like, added to my repertoire of things I do. Now I do, like, some, like, seated pull. What was it? Seated rows. I do a seated pull do like some like seated pool. What was it? Seated rows. I do a seated pool every now and again.

I do seated rows. I do skull crushers and some other stuff. I think I talked about it already so I'll skip over that but I've added to it and then every time I'm there

like earlier there's always one this dude looks like he's one of those people that teaches people how to date. You know that guy where like he's just buff and he's just like 50 years old and he looks like he goes to whole groups? Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.

I do not know that guy. What do you mean teaches people how to date? He's like one of those guys. He's not like a pickup artist, but he's like the type of person that's going to teach you how to pick up women. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. These people exist? Yeah. whoa whoa well these people exist yeah just could we be these people on youtube you'll find that guy could i be that could i make a channel you probably could oh my god right just me teaching you how to pick up people just like you know all right well

you want to get down and lean down and you want to lift with your you want to lift with your knees not your back well here's the thing i know this because 10 years ago that joke what i was like the socially awkward crin nerd guy and i was like how do i socialize and then i went on youtube and there's this guy and he looked like this guy and he was just teaching people how to like talk to people out in public he's just like it's just all about socialization you just go up you start a conversation i was like that's the uh conversation how to initialize converse like i don't know uh wait so you went on you like learned how to talk through the internet this is me we're

talking about all right this is like 19 you're right you're right well you're right i spent my entire like teenage years on a computer and then i hit like 19 or 20 and i was like how do i human so i had to learn uh it honestly didn't teach me anything what taught me was just doing this and then getting thrusted into like the fire of like talking on the internet and getting yelled at by everyone being like this guy's an idiot and i'm like, ah. So that honestly just helps. It's like going to learn how to swim and you read all the books on how to swim.

But really what helps you is just getting thrown in the water and just being like, you're like drowning. You swim around and eventually you doggy paddle and before you know it, you're just backstroking all around. I love that you are so honest with the assessment of who you are. You're like, people are like, this idiot.

That's what they say. That is what they say. That's okay. The Crandor Podcast. TB, why do you blot this guy on the show? He's a moron. All right. That was years of your life, but you've outgrown moron,

and now you're just idiot. Exactly. So you hit that point, and you embrace it, and once you do that, the world's your oyster. That's okay. I've been called everything, too. So I'm happy when someone calls me a pervert, and it's nice. What? I like pause, like, i just uh speaking speaking speaking speaking and pausing

and weirdness um today i was in my apartment complex so i tried to clean my apartment up today because i'm going out of town for a week and i always want to like leave it nice just in case someone comes to rob it they don't think i'm a creep so you know everything's where it needs to be so at least when the thieves come they'll be like oh that was convenient um but i'm cleaning up around my house and outside of here like this i'm like what the hell is that noise I can't figure it out I didn't know if it was in my apartment I began looking around my apartment thinking someone was in my apartment Because it was like

I'm like what the hell is that noise And I go to the window in my kitchen Which is just a little bit open And I hear it clear And it's like Tommy Tommy I'm like what the hell who is tommy i go open the door to my apartment look out and in the walkway is an elderly woman in like a white

nightgown now if i had been high or this had been nighttime i would have thought it was a ghost been nighttime, I would have thought it was a ghost. She was just like, and she was whispering like, Tommy! Tommy! And I was like, uh... And I made a noise, clearly, because she turns around to me and goes, Have you seen Tommy?

I'm like, uh... Dude, this is a horror movie. Like, who's Tommy? She goes, I'm looking for a little gray cat named Tommy. Have you seen Tommy? I'm like, um... No?? She goes, I'm looking for a little gray cat named Tommy. Have you seen Tommy? I'm like, um, no. And she goes, okay. And turns around and just begins to go, Tommy.

I'm like, oh my God. So I went back in my house and closed the window so I wouldn't have to hear it anymore. Maybe an hour later. That's the difference of a city thing. In the country, they'd be be like I'll come help you find your cat and you're just like I got I got confidence I gotta leave so thing like out there in the country you're probably like oh that's old Mrs. Johnson whatever this is like this could be like a crazy person there might even not even be a Tommy you don't know that's what I'm saying

I didn't know who this I've never seen this person I don't know who this person, I've never seen this person. I don't know who Tommy is. I was like, okay. Went back inside, closed the window, locked the door. I was like, all right, good luck finding Tommy. Hour later, still standing in the same place. I assume still asking for Tommy. Don't know. And then she saw me and then walked away and went into one of the apartments. She saw me in the window, look at her.

And she like looked at me, acknowledge me, then went back into her apartment. So my question is, was there a Tommy? Did this woman need help? Why wouldn't she saw me? Was she like, oh, I probably should leave now. Did she go? Was she just in the same spot for an hour? Roughly.

Yeah. So, I mean, like if you're looking for a cat, probably look in more than just one small area. Well, you know how we have that, like, walkway that overlooks the courtyard, right? Right. And so we were on that walkway, and she's just like, you know, there's only so many places a cat could go. Yeah.

But she just kept standing there going, Tommy. Like, in the creepiest Not even like shouting like Tommy Like literally Tommy Tommy And I was like whoa Dude Tommy wanted to get out of there I think Tommy was still in the house Probably was honestly

Cats will go anywhere Yeah cats can fit in anywhere and hide anywhere Yeah There's times I was like open the drawer, cats can fit in anywhere and hide anywhere. Yeah. There's times I'll just open the drawer and he's just in there. And I'm like, all right, well, let me just close it. Part of me wanted to help her. But the other part of me, she had a crazed look in her eye.

Just like, Tommy? I was like, oh, no. I am good. I don't need this. It's like a flip a coin. Either you're going to help the old woman find her cat or you're going to die. There's no in between. Yeah, I was like, you know what? I got stuff to do this week.

I don't need to be dead. I got stuff to do. Maybe Tommy's inside if you'd like to come back in. Although, here's the thing. If she was like 20 years younger I would have been like

Alright I'll come inside your house Let's see if we can find that cat somewhere in your house That doesn't surprise me That's the pervert thing Also today I discovered while I was at the grocery store Picking up some Laundry detergent

I don't know why I said it like that For everyone out there Who was like what did you buy Jesse Laundry detergent I also noticed that When I was getting some water I was getting a pack of water Because apparently I can't drink tap water

Because I have ruined myself By drinking bottled water and I'm killing the environment. There. You can judge me now. I just use the water filter. Yeah. Well, I don't and I'm a terrible person. While I was there, I noticed that they had different seltzer waters and one that I have not seen in literally 15 years. Original New York seltzer.

Do you know what those are? Have you seen those? No. They're the little tiny bottles of seltzer water. And they have like a yellow or blue or they're like glass bottles. And I haven't seen these. They used to have them in vending machines back on the East Coast. And I haven't seen these in forever. And I saw them there and I was like, I have't seen these. They used to have them in vending machines back on the East Coast and I haven't seen these in forever

and I saw them there and I was like, I have to try it. I need to try one of these. So I looked through all the different varieties and I settled on the vanilla cream soda. It's actually very good. It's quite good. I found a picture of the seltzer waters

walking down the bridge in New York You really did That is a picture of all the seltzer waters Bridge walking Yep And so I got one And I've been drinking it while we've been on this podcast And it's delicious

But one thing I noticed Is that it definitely Is targeted towards I'm going to say, an older market. Because, you know, sometimes under the bottle caps of drinks, there are little things written for people. This says, what's the best thing to happen to you in 1986? With a hashtag, in case you want to respond online. Again, what's the best thing to happen to you in 1986? I feel like it's geared for me even then.

I don't even remember 1986. I didn't exist. Yeah, 1986, I would have been, what, four or five? I was negative three, honestly. Pretty solid. There wasn't any happiness. There was no pain. Yeah, in the void of nothingness, you really were doing great, actually.

All things considered, your things are going great for you. It's fantastic. Speaking of which, there is a show. I don't know that I can recommend this show, but I will say every once in a while, our dear friend Alex, while being very, very high, will put it on and be like, you guys got to watch this show. We'll put it on and be like you guys gotta watch this show It is a vice show Where it's a bunch of dudes

Who get high and watch Ancient aliens That's the whole premise of the show A high guy watching high guys Watch ancient aliens Yes and the show is I think they let the editors go crazy Cause it is

It's like watching 3am adult swim content It is wildly edited. And most of the time, the episode's playing, but they don't even pay attention. And then every once in a while, they'll look at it, it says something really profound. And then, like, the last episode they watched was Reincarnation. It was them trying to come to terms with Reincarnation while being very, very high. And one of the guys complained, this is the only thing I remember,

but it was very profound. I don't know why it was so profound. It was the guy was complaining about how whenever they're on these shows, they always have to have dramatic music in the background. And he says, it doesn't make any sense because all this dramatic music doesn't add anything to what they're trying to say because the truth doesn't need a soundtrack. And I was like, oh, shit.

I was like, that's really profound and weird. And that's the whole show. And the last episode that we just watched was they had Drew Hill and, like, all those dudes on. And then there's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating and getting stoned watching. That's the show. That's the show. And it is 90% awful. And every once in a while something really hilarious happens.

And I don't know why, but I think you might have to be really high to watch it. That sounds like what we'll be doing in like six years. Here's the thing. We just need the world to get... Just give up. We need everyone to give up. We need... Legalize all the drugs.

Go nuts. Make everything legal. And then we will just do the craziest show. Keep McRibs around like year long. Yeah. We'll be called the McRibs around like year long yeah well he'll be called the the McRib and meth podcast hour oh my god and I say that yesterday uh so he went out for my grandma's birthday so I hadn't eaten in like forever so I was like are you about to say that you went out got

McDonald's I got a McRib. And I got an apple pie. And I didn't put them together because I'm not that committed. I'm not going to lie. I took a bite of one. And then I took a bite of the apple pie. And it was possibly the worst apple pie I think I've ever had at McDonald's. It had no filling. There was no filling in it. It was just pie crust.

It was like a turkey. It's like that scene in the Christmas movie. With the turkey so dry. Yeah, it's so dry. He bites into it and goes. Yeah, it was like that. It's like I bit into the apple pie. It's so dry.

I was like. So then I just ate the McRib. Can I give you the real secret? Okay. As a former McDonald's employee, the best time to get apple pies is in the morning. Instead of like a bacon, egg, and cheese or whatever, because they're made fresh in the morning. I don't really sit in a damn thing all day. Yeah, because I looked at this little sticker on it, and it said best by 4.38 p.m.

It was like 10 p.m. That's what I'm saying. By 4.38 p.m. It was like 10 p.m. That's what I'm saying. Like, they're made in the morning, and they have, like, you know, because in the morning, old men get them with coffee. So they make them fresh. Because the old men, they'll complain.

Yeah. But there's still, like, nothing in it. And so you've got to get in the morning. Even if it was fresh, there'd be nothing in it. That's my point. Well, no, because it, like, heats down. Because it's like goo. There's,'s like a goo in the middle of it and throughout the day the goo gets

the goo like melts into hardness. It becomes part of the crust. Oh my god. It morphs into it. The goo melts into hardness. It's like both together. What if you just let it sit for like days and just become one entity? Here's the thing. I saw that one video where the guy

had the McDonald's cheeseburger and in like weeks later it still looked the exact same yeah so i don't know what i don't know what it would become listen after that one time i accidentally ate moldy bread i'll eat a mcdonald's cheeseburger any day uh on youtube i've been watching i started getting into uh art restoration oh boy yeah there's this one dude it's like 40 minute videos it's just him restoring paintings and it's all it's almost ASMR esque he's just like doing varnish and like doing little paint things and doing all the stuff and he's just like now I'm gonna

do this thing and put the gold leaf on would do this and I'm just like oh my god this is great as well as it? Or is it like that one lady who restored Jesus and it looked awful? No, it's he gets paid to do this so he's very good at it. And it's crazy. It's not a huge difference

but it's a big enough difference to where you're like, oh yeah, that's probably how it looked more towards when it was actually painted, which is his whole job, essentially. Sure. I need someone to restore everything in my life. What about me? Is there like a Jesse Restoration man out there?

That's a weird thing to ask for. Is there a man out there who can restore me? I don't think we've hit that point in time. Technology? Yeah, technology. He's called Baumgartner Restoration. It's like a million views a video.

Damn. Yeah. So that's what I've been watching. I also got allergic to candles or something. Hold on. Time out. You have covered the lead, my friend. What the hell? Yeah. so like a week ago i was just randomly just getting like really lightheaded or like dizzy and i was like what the shit is that

because you burn 12 million candles at once i don't know no my like aunt lit a candle or something because we were at their house and then i don't know if it was before that or after it was just candle remnants all over there but then it got worse when the candles lit and then i don't know if it was before that or after it was just candle remnants all over there but then it got worse when the candles lit and then the entire week i just felt lightheaded so i went to the doctor as i do and then they did blood tests all my blood was fine it's like maybe you're dehydrated they did blood pressure tests my blood pressure was fine and he's like it just sounds like allergies or like eye strain or something and i was like i did play spyro and it made me motion sick so he's like it could just be your eyes are strained it could be both so then as one does i lit a candle and i started feeling it and i was like oh my god

this candle's messing with me and then yesterday with my grandma's birthday and then we got her a candle lit the candle boom my eyes started itching my head was like that and i was like dude it's the candles and now i've quarantined every candle i have because i had candles like just laying out and now i'm like legit starting to feel better it's crazy did you poison yourself with wax and scent what happened to you i started looking into it apparently a lot of people are allergic to candles and apparently a really strong sense as well like even people that's like your thing that's who you are you're a candle people are tweeting that i mean they're like yeah like scents make me really have like allergic reactions and like bad stuff so like

i don't know i can just something my body flipped the switch and I just, you know, can't candle it up anymore. I am blown away. Although I believe it now I'm starting to feel a little better. Once I hit like a hundred percent, I'm gonna try lighting a candle. See what happens.

So wait, you learn the candles make you sick. You're like, well, once I feel better, I'm going to try it again. This is like what I do with my stomach. I start feeling better, and I'm like, dude, this is great.

What if I eat, like, fiery Doritos? Let's see what happens. And then I'm like, oh, why'd I do that? This is a terrible, terrible idea. So, yeah, it's a weird feeling. You start getting, and then they're also saying it's like, well, all the leaves are starting to fall now. So it's like a lot of people's allergies are bad with like ragweed and mold and all that because there's like mold on the leaves when they get old and die and fall off

so this is the combo probably but what are you gonna do as long as i'm not dying they tested my blood I mean, yeah, I guess that's the best you could ask for. I feel like I get more blood tests than an old person. Yeah, I was about to say, you are constantly getting your blood tested. They're just like, well, we tested your blood like eight months ago, and I guess we'll do it again. And they're like, yep, everything's perfect. I'm like, that's good.

Yep, everything's perfect. It's no harm in knowing. Yeah, right? I'm trying to think of a segue to get into promotional things, but I don't know what to say. Blood tests. Crandor gets them. I get those blood tests, dude. You know what else you should get, Crandor?

There you go. There's the segue. There it is. You know what else you should get? What should I get? A pair of socks from Stance. Whoa. That's right.

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Because if they're not stance, they're just socks. Take a stance, Get some socks. Guys, if you run your own business, you're used to doing it all. If you're like Crandor and I, it is the thing that happens. That is just like,

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tryhoneybook.com slash Cox for 50% off your first year. That's tryhoneybook.com slash Cox. Alright, Crenner, let's go and chop together with some of this guys. Crenner, how's that traffic out there? Hey, man. Traffic today? I'll tell you what. It's go shopping. How's that traffic out there? Hey, man.

Traffic today, I'll tell you what. It's pretty good. You got cars going left. You got cars going right. You got cars going up. You got cars going down. They're going sideways. They're going all around.

And if there's one thing I know, it's that Dr. Seuss is on the show. Back to you. Hello, it's me, Dr. Seuss. Dr. Seuss didn't sound like that. He was a good man. He definitely did not. He did not sound like that. Maybe the cat in the hat, like,

hi! No, that wasn't the cat in the hat. It doesn't matter. All right, let's go to weather. Weather. Welcome to the weather desk. California's on fire again. Let's see.

But what else is happening? But what else is going on in the world? Let's see. Let's go to... I don't know. Where do you want to go today? I don't know. Type in 23211. I don't know.

Type in 23211. Carboneros, Llan, Province, Spain. There you go. Perfect. All right. Floppy, take it away. Floppy activated. Carboneros, Llan, Province, Spain.

53 degrees Fahrenheit. Clear. Feels like 53 degrees. High, 74 degrees. low, 51 degrees, UV index, zero, 10, whoppy, does weather not answer question, next 36 hours, 74 degrees Fahrenheit, plenty of sunshine, high, 74 degrees, winds light variable, tonight, Shine. Eyes. 74 degrees. Winds.

Light. Variable. Tonight. 51 degrees Fahrenheit. Wednesday. 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Wednesday night. 54 degrees Fahrenheit.

Thursday. 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Humidity. 71 percent. UV index. 4 of 10. Sun. Rise.

7. 36. AM. 6. 19. P. P. M. Okay. Good. All right. All right. So a.m. 6.19 p.m. Okay.

Good. All right. All right. So question. Yeah. Was WAPI... Did WAPI have an accent there? So I tried to install the Spanish weather program.

Turns out I think it just blended Russian and a few other languages altogether. Gotcha. Okay. I took the cheap route. It was like a dollar at the dollar store. Well, I mean, it definitely came off that way. Yeah. Yeah.

We're going to have to replace that one. Okay. Let's go to sports. Sports. Also, my head. I still have rough and ready in my history. I just saw that. It made me smile.

It makes me smile too. Welcome to the sports desk. We've got sports for you today. We had football. Vikings beat the Redskins. That wasn't a surprise. Seahawks beat the Falcons. Eagles beat the Bills as the Bills

lose their second game of the season. The Chargers beat the Bears. Bears have lost three in a row and Bears fans are mad, as I've heard on Chicago Sports Radio. It's actually really great. Guys called it last night. This guy called in on the late night sports thing and he was his name was Louie. His name was Louie. And he was like, it's just, you go last year, you win 12 games last year,

and then you get crap. You get crap done this year. It's just a disgrace. You got Matt Nagy. What's he even doing? Are you paying this guy? What's he even doing? A kicker?

He's making $750K. He can kick a field goal and win the game. I mean, I just don't know. I'll hang up. I'm just mad. That was the guy I called in last night. I love it. That's every sports fan, though.

It really is. This guy's making money. He should be able to do the thing. He had one bad game, but we're paying him $12 million. What's the matter with him? Well, the other team has guys getting $12 million, and they just did it better. Detroit beat the Giants. They're worth the money. Detroit beat the Giants.

Titans beat the Buccaneers. The Colts beat the Broncos in the horse battle. Rams beat the Bengals. Rams beat the Bengals. Saints beat the Cardinals. Jaguars went in with the Minshew. Gardner Minshew leading the Jaguars to a... Minshew's still doing it. Very impressive.

I think somebody linked me a Gardner Minshew thing. Hold on. Let's see. Can I find it it is it here hold on let me do a quick like search thing let's see uh minsh nope that's not in my recent unless hold up guard nope all right never. It's lost. Anyway, Gardner Minshew winning games. 49ers blew out the Panthers. Patriots beat the Browns in an unsurprising game where they remain undefeated.

Texans beat the Raiders and the Packers beat the Chiefs on a good Sunday night game. Very happy with that. And they're now seven and one. Dude, Packers, Patriots, Super Bowl, Aaron Rodgers wins, takes the crown, goes out into the sunset, but comes back next year because he'll play again. And then the Steelers beat the Dolphins. Dolphins were up 14-0 at one point, and then they became the Miami Dolphins and didn't score again. Steelers, once again, lucked out.

Thanks, gang. Keep it up. The Dolphins, if you didn't know, have five first-round draft picks. That's right. Five first-round draft picks. There's only 32 of them, and they got five of them

because they've been trading everyone to try and get more picks because they're in full tank mode. So that's fun. Also, basketball has been starting. That's been fun. I tried to watch the Bulls tonight. They were up by 18 at one point and then they lost to the Knicks

by like 8. So that's the Bulls. Very fun. 76ers 3-0. Raptors 3-1. Also in the Western Conference, Spurs 3-0. Timber 76ers 3-0 raptors 3-1 uh also in the western conference spurs 3-0 timberwolves 3-0 nuggets 2-0 sons are 2-1 watch out they've been bad for like 20 years they're finally getting good again and the warriors are 1-2 watch out warriors might be bad now watch out and over in hockey we got some surprising stuff happening in uh hockey let me tell you right now the buffalo sabers are in first place at nine and two and two 20 points

which actually puts them at the best team in the nhl it's shocking but believable if you're bad for long enough you'll eventually get good uh the capitals the other good team then the bruins then the avalanche another bad team that's gotten good and the oilers another bad team that's gotten good uh and that's hockey and in baseball we've got all the sports kicking off right now the houston astros are up three to two in that series going into game six which will be happening on tuesday and that's sports all right grundor let's jump into the big news story of the day whoa let's not jump into it let's just take our time uh because if we just look here two stories actually we'll start with this one because it's a little less crazy man arrives home to find crosswalk leading to middle of driveway wait what that's what i said an atlanta man said he came home from

work to find a bizarre surprise a new crosswalk that leads into the middle of his driveway matthew miller told channel 2's justin wilfen that if he couldn't believe what he saw when he got home wednesday afternoon from work it's ridiculous it makes no sense it's the craziest thing i've seen miller said about the bizarre crosswalk that has been placed along argual lane i was baffled. I sort of felt like I'd been punked, but it was all too real. Miller even gave Wilfen video footage from his security

camera of workers installing the crosswalk right in front of the driveway of his home in West Highlands subdivision, northwest Atlanta. Do we have that video? I need to see what this looks like. This makes no sense. Wait, they took a crosswalk From one side of a street

And then just put it into his driveway I guess so So people walking across the street would walk into his home I guess so What This doesn't make sense Oh my god Okay so how best to describe this

Imagine So you know how there are crosswalks Everyone knows crosswalks right Yeah across the street Oh my god Okay so how best to describe this Imagine So you know how there are crosswalks Everyone knows crosswalks right Yeah across the street Imagine how instead of it being From corner to corner At the end of a street like a four way stop or whatever There is one corner

And then that crosswalk Instead of going to another corner Just goes directly to a house which is someone it's someone's driveway yeah like it it's it's truly once you see it you're like oh i understand what he means yeah but yeah that's insane this is insane it is it goes unless his house is but it's not the end of a end a street. It's why would they put the crosswalk where they put it? Yeah, I don't get it. Like you would think they'd put it the corner like they do every other crosswalk.

Right? Why would they? So every time he backs out, he has to back out of his driveway onto a crosswalk. A danger. He's going to back over people all the time. to a crosswalk. A dangerous... He's going to back over people all the time.

He said, from a security perspective, I'm sure it puts a lot of unneeded attention on the house. He believes either the builder of a subdivision of the Homeowners Association ordered the crosswalks installation.

Wilfen called the builder, Brock Built Homes, but they told him they didn't do it. He also contacted two officials with the hoa on thursday night but so far he has not heard anything someone had to authorize it whether it's the hoa or the builder miller said but for now the mystery lingers i'd like to see the air

which is in my opinion which it is in my opinion i'd like to see the air fixed another crosswalk was installed next to miller's house that leads from sidewalk to sidewalk. Miller told Wilfen that it's all the more reason the strange crosswalk doesn't need to be there. Friday afternoon, Miller contacted the news to say crews returned to the crosswalk and started

removing it. I mean, yeah. I don't know why they were like, we don't know anything about this. I feel like they just messed it up. Right. I'm looking at this photo and stuff. There's no way they didn't mess this up. Yeah.

Truly, it's baffling. Yeah. It doesn't make sense. But interesting. Now to the real news story of the day. Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed Olaf at Target. Now there's the news stories we usually do. A Florida man was arrested Tuesday after being caught having sexual intercourse with a stuffed animal inside Target.

I don't know if Olaf's an animal. Yeah, more of a snowman character, but okay. He may be an animal in bed. Witnesses told police they saw Cody Meter, 20, take a large Olaf from Frozen off the store shelves at a St. Petersburg location and begin to dry hump the toy. Police reports claims Miller ejaculated on the Olaf. Oh, no. Oh, no. He just wanted his own little snow shower.

Oh, Olaf, no. He just wanted a friend. He ejaculated on me, Olaf. This is never a good... It's never a good... You know what? Maybe it is. Maybe it's a great day on this podcast

and we get to use both the phrases dry humped and ejaculated on us. How many times have we said dry humped and ejaculated on this podcast over the we said dry hump and ejaculated on this podcast over the years i would put it at least about seven maybe eight uh and put it back on the shelf before he selected a large unicorn stuffed animal and began to have sex with that object as well did he not even have like a cool down period this guy was ready to go this guy was like oh man is that a unicorn sorry oh i feel bad for olaf he

got used he did got used and thrown aside right wow um meter was taken into custody while in the store and admitted to doing stupid stuff he's arrested and charged with criminal mischief the olaf and unicorn stuffed animals were removed from the store and destroyed they should be admittedly they very well should be they didn't do anything wrong there is no there is no home for those stuffed animals. It's almost as bad as banning Monkey Mondays. They didn't do anything. And now they're just nothing. I wonder about the home that would take those in.

Genuinely curious. Like, oh, well, only slightly defiled? Sure, my kid could use it. Dude, somebody will buy it. Put it on clearance. Somebody's going to buy that. I guarantee. Can you imagine the clearance marked out? Gently used.

Requires minimal two washings. Why is this the only Olaf with a frown? It's so weird. This is what happens when the kids watch all those Olaf and Elsa Spider-Man videos on YouTube. Olaf got Elsa pregnant with Spider-Man. It's just like it's got the unusual urge for these frozen toys. Oh, so gross. But yet youtube allows their monetization but then they remove my monetization because it has the word like boob in it yeah well you know the birth between a spider-man and elsa that's natural yeah that's an olaf yeah that's an Olaf Yeah that's an Olaf So I mean

Oh man That's a story that happened That happened Alright well This episode happened Thank you so much for listening or watching Hey leave us some reviews Go on whatever you're

Listening on and leave a review yes slackers yeah give review like leave us like if you're listening to itunes leave a review there on spotify leave a review leave reviews if you're on soundcloud leave a like leave comments reviews but make them good though don't make them like this episode sucked be like you know these guys they get me through my long work day and they'll get you through it too. Through life. And then give us five stars. Yeah.

Be like, man, I thought about going to Target and picking up an Olaf and having intercourse with it. But then I was like, no, you know what? I got a podcast. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's, you're so smart we should be like hey uh instead of leaving a review go tweet about how you learned about how much you love target from this podcast like you know who should really sponsor the cox and crendor at target dude and everyone does that eventually they will target oh man yeah hook us up, everyone, instead of, we don't want your reviews now.

We changed our mind. Instead, find brands and tweet at them about how much they should definitely sponsor this show. Yeah, Target's our new brand. We've already gotten stuff from McDonald's. We need to move on to Target. We need to get Target. We need Target brand equivalency of McDonald's. Yeah.

Definitely need it. Yeah. Oh, my God. Perfect. Okay. That's. Yeah. Definitely need it. Yeah. Oh my god. Perfect. Okay. That's your mission. Speaking of those social things, here's some you can find us on. You can go to youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor. That's C-O-X-N Crandor.

C-R-E-N-D-O-R podcast. And you'll find this podcast. All one word. Cox and Crandor podcast. All one word on YouTube. And you'll find this podcast all one word cox and crendor podcast all one word on youtube and you'll find every episode ever created going back years uh and you can listen them all on youtube there's a big playlist uh you can like it you can click the bell and be notified of when we upload these you can you can uh leave comments there you can i don't know do whatever you want you can comments i don't know you can remove the podcast part from the end of it and go to that channel

and you'll see the animations you can watch all the funny animations over there then you go spotify and search as cox search cox crendor there or right. Then you go to iTunes, you'll find us on there. You drop a five star. Then you go to, or else there is SoundCloud. You throw up some stars over there. You have a good time. Then you go on Twitter. You find us, twitter.com slash Crendor, twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. You tag us and Target and tell them, hey, this is the show you need to sponsor right now. This is the show. This is the show. need to sponsor right now. This is the show.

Yeah, and then you see all our shitty tweets. And then you go to facebook.com slash Crendor if you still use that website for some reason. Then you go to facebook.com slash Jesse Cox. You follow us over there. Then you go to our YouTube channels.

YouTube.com slash Crendor and youtube.com slash Jesse Cox. You watch our bad videos. Then you go to Twitch and watch us live stream, Twitch.tv slash Crendor, Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox. We just play whatever. Then you go to Instagram, Instagram.com slash Crendor was taken. Someone took my name. Piece of shit.

Then you go to Instagram.com slash Notorious Cox because someone took your name too. And you had to make a different one. And you see our pictures of us and you tag target and go, wow, look at these handsome people. I hate them. Yep. All right. Well, that's it for us.

Thank you so much for watching, listening, all that stuff. We will see you next time. And as always, to be continued.