Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 222 - A Twisty Black Friday

Episode Date: December 6, 2019

It's time for the annual black friday show! And this time the boys manage to find some weird fun in all the holiday chaos. Crendor relives his life working at circuit city and Jesse can't believe police are harassing a naked man. All this and SO much more on an all new Cox n' Crendor! And if you go to http://getquip.com/crendor, right now, you’ll get your first refill FREE To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to http:// mintmobile.com/COX

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. If you want to get your teeth bright and shiny for the end of the year, end of the decade, Quip is the way to go. Start your 2020 out in style, people. Also, today we're brought to you by Mint Mobile. You know what? If you're still paying a ton for your wireless service, you're probably wondering why. Well, wonder no more.

We'll talk about it later. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Cosa Trendom. This is Trendom in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Recorded. Hello everybody, welcome back to the next episode of Cacks and Crandor in the morning.

It's Friday, Black Friday. Gotta get down on Black Friday. Gotta push people over on Black Friday. Shove, shove, shove, shove. Gotta get them deals. Now, $5 DVDs, $5 DVDs. Yeah. Yeah.

It's that episode. It's the yearly episode. Yeah. I feel like over the last couple of years, these Black Friday episodes have gone down in excitement. Well, that's because the world's gone down in excitement. That's true. It's not our fault that everyone's getting civilized and not hurting each other.

Although I have seen some stampedes at least. Thank God. I was almost afraid nobody would get trampled. Yeah, I got a few messages. I'm trying to find them now. A lot of people were just like, yeah, I work a few messages. I'm trying to find them now. A lot of people were just like, yeah, I work. I work at a store, and there was a little stampede.

It was a little crazy. I'm proud they're still happening, but remember when people would camp out for hours and hours to get a crappy 720 TV? Yeah, although I did see record online sales. I think that's the way it's been. People just don't want to go out. They're like, eh. Yeah. Well, you know what else i noticed is that it's like deals just continue after black friday it is a little disappointing that they're like miss friday's deal well you can get it all

weekend at target i'm just like oh yeah it's like and then they they start deals early the deals go late and they pretty much just continue until Christmas because they still want you to buy everything. I actually heard a really funny commercial. I was listening to something. Maybe I just had the TV on, and it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and the commercial played that was like, this Saturday at Macy's from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., get in-store deals.

And I was like, it's 3. Why is this commercial airing right now? Imagine seeing that and being like, let's go. And like, oh. I can't go anymore. I'm not going to get any deals. Did you actually go anywhere on Black Friday? I went out and I just wanted to see what was going on.

And there was no one on the road. Wow. No and I just wanted to see what was going on and there was no one on the road. Wow. No one. The malls were pretty, so I eventually went to the infamous Del Amo Mall, which is sort of down

in Torrance. It's very, very big. It's very, very crazy. They have a MeUndies there now if you're curious, world. But, I'll be real. It was no crazier than it always is.

The parking was still always awful. The people there were still always young kids. Maybe I'm just getting too old. Everyone seemed like a young kid. And it was just as crazy as it always is. Again, I didn't notice any difference. Yeah, that's kind of what happened. We went, it was like 11 p.m. to the mall, maybe like 10.30. And honestly, it just felt like a Saturday or something.

11 p.m.? Yeah, 11 p.m. At night? It opened like Thanksgiving night. Oh, okay. I thought, all right, I thought you were a crazy person and went at 11pm on Friday. I don't think anyone was there.

It was late Thursday. Sure, sure. It was crowded. I bought a shirt and walked around and saw some people watching. There was only one thing worth writing down okay and i thought it was funny this like couple was going into sears or the guy

like was gonna go into sears and she like pulled him back and she's like no don't go like i was like wait and then i realized no nobody wants to go to Sears. She was saving him. She's like, don't do it. No. I wrote down. Wait, no. She said, no, come on. That's what it was.

Then she pulled him away. So yeah, honestly, it's like saving somebody that's falling off a boat. Can I tell you the saddest thing? The saddest thing on planet Earth is when you go to the section of Sears that is the, not hardware, the appliance section. Ah, yeah. And it just looks like they haven't updated stock in a long time. It's like when you went to a Circuit City before they closed Circuit City down and there were just shelves and shelves that were empty.

And they're like, oh, we're just waiting on stock to get in. You're like, no, you're not. I worked there those last two weeks, remember? Yes, you did i did that's that was right before i started doing youtube it was like uh i made my youtube channel that january and i worked at circuit city in late november when they were closing that was when that one lady was like do you have kung fu panda i said no we're liquidating and she said i bet best buy has it and i said yeah I said, no, we're liquidating. And she said, I bet Best Buy has it. And I said, yeah, they probably do. They're not liquidating. We are.

And then she was like, well, I guess I'll take my business there. And I was like, thank God. I don't have to work here in like a week. I like how she was like, well, I'll show you. I'll put you out of business. You're like, too late, lady. It's far too late. It's like, I feel like people do that all the time. And it's like, lady, I don't you. I'll put you out of business. You're like, too late, lady. It's far too late. I feel like people do that all the time.

It's like, lady, I don't care. I'm getting paid minimum wage here. I don't own this company. I don't have stock in this company. I don't give a shit if you go to Best Buy. I still get paid. Did I tell you about when I went to go look at different apartments and the guy who was showing me the apartment did the exact same thing?

I don't think so. They've opened up a bunch of new apartments in my area. And they're big complexes. They're brand new. On the outside, they look incredible. And there's one nearby. And I was like, all right, this looks great. I got to go check it out.

I went in, and it was so weird. I don't know if this is the future of apartments, but it was so strange, Grendor. I just walk in, and he's like, all right, so I'll show you around. What kind of apartment are you looking for? He's like, well, I'd like to find a two-bedroom so I can make one room into a studio to record. And he's like, okay, what do you do? I'm like, oh, you know, I do different YouTube-y things and stream stuff.

And he's like, oh, everyone's doing that nowadays. And I was like, oh, boy, how very LA of you. And so we go into the elevator to go up in this complex and when we come up on the fourth floor, it literally looks like a hotel. Like the door opens, there's carpeting, a weird painting that says

four so you know it's the fourth floor. And then all these doors that look like hotel room doors. And there are weird fob key things to get in so you don't have a real key. I'm like, what the hell? So I go into one of these apartments. And it's a two-bedroom, supposedly. It has one.

The main room is both the kitchen and the living room. But it's only big enough that I could either put in a kitchen table or put in a couch, but I could not put in both. Then the first bedroom was, you know, kind of smallish. The second bedroom, kind of smallish. The bathroom's huge. Two giant bathrooms. I was like, wait, what?

The bathrooms are the size of the bedrooms. This doesn't make any sense. And then I asked the guy, I was like, well, how much is it? He goes, $5,700. What? Why would anyone? The bathrooms are the size of the bedrooms. This doesn't make any sense. And then I asked the guy, I was like, well, how much is it? He goes, $5,700. I was like, what? No way. I was like, I can't believe that. The living room area is basically the kitchen.

I couldn't fit both a couch and a table in here. And he's like, well, you know, I can show you some of our amenities. I'm like, what do you mean? We go outside, walk down the hall, and there's a room that he opens up that is literally a giant 15-person kitchen table, 16-person probably, and then fridges and grills, literally an entire room that's like a cafeteria set up so that you could bring your food there, cook it, and then go back to your house that doesn't have the room to make stuff. And I was like

what? He's like, oh yeah. You could come out here and you could invite your friends. You could just eat out here. You could stare at the road. There's TVs in here so you can watch TV. You don't even have to ever really be in your apartment. I was just like what are you trying to sell me right now? This is a terrible I do not want this.

Why are you making me forced to cook my food with strangers? And he looks at me and he goes, well, you know, there are better locations nearby. I was like, what? He's like, look, you might want to go across the street or actually down the street. There are these apartments. I love them. And he was pointing to the apartments I lived in. I was like yeah yeah yeah i hear those are nice he's like you should definitely check them out and i was like okay he's like all right well here's my card if

you get desperate stop by and i was like i called him out on how insane it was he was like it is pretty insane like so yeah it's strangely enough, those apartments keep sending messages out that are like, if you move in now, we'll give you $2,000. They just keep upping the amount of money they want to give people to move in. I was like, nah, I would not do that. They seem terrible. Yeah, I don't think I'd want that. The bathrooms, Crandor, I can't even express to you.

I can't even express to you. The one bathroom had a tub and a walk-in shower and a three-person set of sinks. So three sinks. My question to you is, what kind of freaky-ass threesome family do you have where everyone's in the one bedroom, you need three sinks, and you also don't want to have enough room in your house to eat dinner with your, I'm going to say, other couple you live with? Like, what? It didn't make it. Meanwhile, the other bathroom had a closet for towels and then another closet for towels? Why are there two closets in the bathroom?

All right. Nothing made sense. There's only three explanations. One, it's like a YouTuber house where they're going to vlog in there and they all just live in the same room and prank each other. But it's not big. Like, it's wooden floors. And the ceilings, Crandor, the ceilings, I'm going to say maybe they're nine foot tall

ceilings. They're not tall. That's weird. I felt claustrophobic. The guy who was with me was just like, I'm going to say, six-foot-five black dude, very tall, and he was just like ducking to get around the house. And I was just looking at him, and he was looking at me, and I knew he was like, this guy's not buying this place.

He could tell. I was like, there's no way I would move here. He was just like, you may want to go someplace else. And I was like, yeah, no i agree that's that's so weird that's but i understand it's the same vibe that you had working in circuit city where it's like look they just pay me i don't have any investment in this place this place sucks they don't they don't pay me enough to tell everyone how great it is when it's obviously not great not gonna lie i forgot that's how it got to this point.

Yeah, that's how we got here. That's the same thing with every anywhere you're paying someone minimum wage. Do not expect more from them than a minimum wage worth of effort. Hence minimum effort for minimum wage. And I'm fine with it. I don't

go to a Starbucks and expect the barista to just be like, alright, hey, welcome to Starbucks. I don't expect to a Starbucks and expect the barista to just be like, all right, hey, welcome to Starbucks. I don't expect that. Although the one Starbucks I go to, the guy, he's always happy. That's because he's jacked up on that java. Oh, he probably is. Every time I come in, he's just like, yo, man, how's your morning going?

I'm like, it's pretty good. He's like, right on, man, right on. Man, we should go to, do they have do they have a Starbucks reserve that's near you? Yeah, they got Starbucks reserves. Oh, my God. I want to go to one of those. Have you tried reserves? I went to one in Seattle, but I didn't really get to experience it because I was with people that didn't drink a lot of coffee.

And so I was like, I want to get effed up on the shots. They had little shots of coffee. Oh, yeah. Like samplers. I was like, oh. I'm not even going to lie. I've probably had over 10 reserves. I would love to do that.

The thing is, they're not even like a normal cup of coffee is like $2. The reserve is like $4, $4.50. Why? You pay an extra couple dollars and you you get high-quality, freshly made coffee. I just want coffee that doesn't suck. The Guatemala Reserve. That's a mama mia. The Guatemala Reserve sounds like a drug, by the way.

The Hawaii? It's okay. I gotta get that Guatemala Reserve. That's a drug. Five bucks, not worth it. Guatemala, four, That's the one. The Hawaii five buck. Yeah.

Hold on. Starbucks Reserve. I'll tell you right now. I've tried a good portion of them. All right. They even they sell the reserve coffees is the thing. The Vietnam Dalat. I say that one's OK.

I think I tried the Kenya once. I don't know if I say it. That one's okay. I think I tried the Kenya ones. I don't know if I like that one. Yeah, the Guatemala. That's quality. Let's see. Columbia. I've had a few Columbias. Personally, I actually almost went and got a Starbucks

reserved tonight, but I didn't. Let's see. Jamaica Blue Mountain. That's actually one of my favorites the Jamaica Blue Mountain honestly if I had to pick one to drink for like ever it'd be the Jamaica now open the Chicago Roastery Crandor oh shit can we go to Chicago Roastery I mean yeah you can't go there before I get there you you have to wait a few months I'll wait for you to get here We gotta go to Chicago Roastery And what was the other place we had to go?

Chicago Roastery And What's that? Was it the Italian place? What was the Italian place? Oh yeah! Italy We gotta go to Chicago Roaster in Italy yeah I'm marking it down on my calendar nice nice nice okay yeah put those down and then we'll go to like uh

medieval times you gotta have a medieval times this is gonna be are they gonna be medieval times in March? Yeah, medieval times year long. In the snow? It's an inside thing. It's inside? How is it inside? You wait. Wait and see. What do you mean I wait and see? I thought that figgy pudding and stuff, all those photos were outside.

No, that's the renaissance fair. Oh, medieval times. Yeah, medieval times. Alright, yeahieval Times. Yeah, Medieval Times. Oh. All right, yeah. We'll do that for sure. Yeah.

Okay. I got them confused because it's all the same nonsense to me. Yeah. No, it's very different. I've never been to Medieval Times, not once. You're going to be in for a treat. You need, all right, you got to like pre-drink at least like one. You need at least one pre-drink.

What if I do more than one? What if I do more than one? Then you're gonna have an even better time. For you, I'd say a two minimum. Alright, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, two minimum is what we'll do. Yeah, alright, good. Trust me. And then you'll be like, this is the greatest thing ever. How do they feel about me calling everyone knave and wench? Oh, they'll probably love it.

Well, some of them will probably love it. Bring me more mead wench. Bring me to the flagging. Others will be like, get another one of these. Sounds great. I'm excited. Oh, yeah. I found all the things people tweeted us about black friday okay so dr john said not a story of what i saw but the incidence of kid with foot run over by

shopping cart cases in the er increased greatly uh then i believe that i do too cryo wolf said i had a customer grab four to six items off a shelf, look at each, then toss them on the ground and walked away. As she passed me, she smiled and said, hi. Also had a customer complain that we were here at night stocking shelves while they were shopping. Oh yeah, I love that where they're like, you have to work on Thanksgiving or that's such a shame.

And it's like, well, we got to work. Cause you shop like you're the reason lady. Uh, could I tell you, speaking of which, speaking of online orders and, and you know, all that stuff. Uh,

I thought it was really funny that people got really upset on Twitter and in, you know, just in general about the fact that Amazon really abuses its employees and they were posting articles about people, how hurt they get there and how Amazon just makes them run around and carry big boxes and stuff and then the very first thing we talked about

is how online orders have increased. Oh yeah. Oh, I hate it. But also could you move a little faster? I know some people that work at UPS and stuff and they're just like, yeah hate it but also could you move a little faster i know some people that work at ups and stuff and they're just like yeah it's uh it's a thankless job i believe that i believe that like i know two people personally work there one of my subscribers last night was like he resubbed 71 months he was just like man wish me luck i start the grind oh man so that's that's a rough one um

let's see my josh helms says my mail lady came to my store and threatened to punch one of my managers in the face because we didn't have mario kart 8 nintendo switch light bundle i love that there was a threat of violence because a very specific thing wasn't in the store. What was, like, what are they trying to get out of there? They're just like, we know you got it in the back. I'll punch you if you don't get it. I'll hit you if you don't show us Mario Kart 8 Switch bundle. Wouldn't it just be easy to be like, okay, they don't have it.

Moving on. That would be what a normal person would do, yes. I'll find it somewhere else. Like that just seems weird that they'd be like, I know you have it back there and you're going to give it to me. Like, no, we don't have it. You think we don't want to sell it to you? We want to make money.

And then Theo said, I work at a pet store next to one of the biggest malls in Melbourne. One of the security guards from the mall comes in for a rest before looking at the crowd saying, Can I just say, I'm so proud that Black Party has made it all the way to Australia, but also that the Australian security guards are not having any of it. They're like, nope, I ain't going to do it. I'm going to get a big enough. Bloody hell, mate. That's literally all they're saying.

I love that he was just done. He was like, nope. Yeah, I love that. Not tonight. That's, man, Black Friday. People love their deals. Yeah, but there are no deals. All right, I need to look up what are some of the Dumbest

Dumbest Black Friday deals That's a good question Worst Black Friday deals 2019 Here we go What? None of these are good People are just like they're all things like nintendo switch don't buy one it's a ripoff or apple airpods don't do that or oled tvs you know

i have airpods they're great they're just saying that they're bad black friday deals why is it bad i don't know i clicked off that website because. Why is it bad? I don't know. I clicked off that website because it was dumb. How is it a don't buy AirPods? That's a bad deal. Even if you save $10 on AirPods, it's still $10 off AirPods. That's a deal. All right.

Here we go. This is, thank God for Gizmodo and other terrible websites for really, really doing the work. Really, really doing the work. One of them for $9.99 is an emoji charm bracelet. It's a bunch of emojis, golden emojis that you can put on this bracelet, and you can choose up to multiple charms to put on it. That's very nice. There is a casserole dish that says, I saw this on Pinterest, etched in it.

There is one, there's an item, oh, it's on Amazon. We can actually look this up, called Trolls Art Journaling Set. Oh, you can get a $49.99 men's ugly Christmas suit. There's a slogan cushion, and the slogan on the cushion of this pillow says, Namaste in bed. That reminds me of that baseball game when I went to the Cubs game, and that woman had the thing. It was like, Namaste, y'all. And it was like a yoga shirt.

First, the troll journal. If I had a child and I blindly tripped over this journal in the middle of the night, I would immediately hurl it into the nearest fireplace. First off, don't do that. You're going to scar a kid for life. They're gonna grow up like Like crying and then they're gonna like It's post-traumatic then they got Christmas suits, and they just say why I? Know that's why we're reading the article to find out why yeah, where your jokes you guys suck there's nothing really on here there's a video called black friday chaos who made this video though on demand news all right so black friday chaos this is what we see so far the intro is black friday chaos uh they open a

door and then people push their way in, but a person falls over. And so instead of helping each other, they keep pushing each other down. And then eventually, they help each other. Like, got them. It's chaos. It's just people fighting over TVs and stuff. Yeah, it's nothing new. It's almost old at this point. I demand better of you shoppers.

I demand better. There used to be such fantastic things. Now things now yeah i don't like these changes here we go here's a black friday it's a news story but like i'll take it as well i'll read it now a virginia man was arrested friday after police say he was found sitting naked in a car in a North Carolina Kohl's parking lot on the business shopping day of the year. Tyleek Shadu Little, 28, was spotted after a patrolling officer smelled weed coming from a row of vehicles. The officer ordered Little to put clothes on and exit the vehicle,

but instead tried to escape by driving behind and between nearby buildings he was stopped a short distance away and taken into custody wearing pants and a shirt the sort of public behavior on the busiest shopping day of the year is particularly appalling said police chief Chief Lawrence Capps. That's the... Dude getting naked and smoking in his car is the most appalling thing you saw on that day? I disagree. We are glad those citizens were adversely impacted

and pleased that our emphasis on proactive patrols paid off in this instance. This is... Patrol the stores. Make sure people don't push each other over. Yeah, like, nobody cares. Walk by like, ah, there's a naked man in there. Yeah, dude's just naked and they're smoking.

Like, yeah. Just because they're prudes and they can't handle this man smoking weed naked doesn't mean that it's his fault. He was just taking a road trip back to Florida. He got stuck in North Carolina. Yeah. If I got stuck in North Carolina. Yeah. If I got stuck in North Carolina,

I too would smoke weed naked in a car. It's like I'm stuck outside this damn Kohl's. I don't have gas money. All I got is this bag of weed and no clothes. Despite the area being packed with Black Friday shoppers, authorities

say they believe that only one officer saw Little's lewd behavior. No passerby or store patrons had reported Little, whose motives weren't immediately known. Little was charged with... His motives?

His motive was to get high! What was his motive? His motive was to get high in that car and air his shit out. He was naked. He was airing it out. He was like,

screw it, I'm getting high. Let's go. Little was charged with inde out. He was like, screw it. I'm getting high. Let's go. Little was charged with indecent exposure, resisting arrest, marijuana possession. He was also served an outstanding warrant for assault on a female. All right. Never mind. Fuck this guy. Never mind.

All right. Well, never mind. Screw that guy. Yeah. Well, this is a Black Friday story. Took a turn for the worse. We were on your side there for a minute, and now I am no longer on your side. Yep.

Nope. Just like that. Just with a few words thrown in there. Yeah. You just add a little bit to that story, and suddenly he's a bad guy. Before, it was just the man minding his business. I was about to say, if he was walking up and down the street harassing people, then that's a different thing. He was just in his car.

Nope, he definitely has harassed people. I guarantee that. That was definitely his plan. He definitely was going to go harass people. gonna go harass people all right well you know one of the things that uh probably he would need if you're gonna take a mugshot make sure to smile is where i'm going and you're gonna have your best mugshot smile if you use quip wow quip are the makers of the electronic toothbrush that you are going to want, that every single person on your Christmas list is going to want. It is what dental care professionals recommend to have a healthy, amazing, bright smile.

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Do the dance. Try something amazing and you'll never go back to big, bulky, ridiculous wireless plans ever again. Alright, Crandor, let's go to TopDriver7, this guy with Crandor. How's that traffic out there? Hey, Crandor, let's go to TopDriver7. This is Kyle with Crandor. How's that traffic out there? Everybody, traffic, it's lighting it up.

Lightning? I don't know if there's lightning in this traffic, but it's lighting up a little bit. You got, ah, here we go. Yeah, there's some cars. They're coming back from Thanksgiving. A lot of people traveling, but now they're coming back home. So that's pretty neat and black friday stuff

but that's all over everybody's going back to their house to sit inside shop online uh and it's uh it's probably gonna be pretty good out up until like a week before christmas when everyone starts going out again uh by the way i was ordering some food today these people in front of me is just like family of 10 it took like 13 minutes to order your food. Like, come on, just figure out what you want. It literally took 13 minutes. I timed it because after seven minutes, I was like, this is getting insane. So I was like, all right, let's see how long. And then they had to put in a separate order for drinks.

It's like, oh, my God. Anyway, looks good. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather. We got storms.

Winter storms. Winter storm Ezekiel. It's been hammering the northeast, according to the weather.com. Weather channel. Weather. Winter storm Ezekiel. Foot or more of snow expected in parts of New York and New England. So it looks like through Tuesday, they're going to get, wow, they're getting like 20 to 24 inches of snow.

Mama mia. That is ridiculous. Yeah, and I think it already snowed a decent amount today. So you know what? Let's just hit up good old Boston. Boston. Yeah, might as well figure out what's going on there. Yep, let's see.

Boston. Woppy, what's going on? Woppy, activate. Boston, Massachusetts. 36 degrees Fahrenheit. Snow. Boston, Massachusetts. 36 degrees Fahrenheit. Snow shower. Wind. Feels like 25 degrees.

Tonight. Rain. Wind. 37 degrees. Some sleep may mix in. What is this? What is this voice? 37 degrees.

What is this voice? He hasn't been active for like a month at this point. 37 degrees. What is his voice? He hasn't been active for like a month at this point. 37 degrees. 37 degrees. Winds northeast at 25 to 35 miles per hour. Chance of rain, 90%. Monday, rain, snow, wind. Windy rain mixing with snow, high near 40 degrees Fahrenheit,

winds 20, 30 miles north, northeast, chance of rain, 100%, high wind gusts. Monday night, snow, chance of snow, 100%, 5 to 8 inches of snow. Expected high wind gusts Tuesday. Snow during morning will give way to lingering snow showers during afternoon. I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate this voice. I hate everything. It's no.

You sound like you're about to sell Anakin Skywalker a pod racer. Hey. Little Addy. Snow Anakin. Depths nearly steady in mid-30s winds. Northwest 1525. Chance of snow 100%. Snow accumulation 1 to 3 inches.

Totaling 8 to 11 inches of snow. All right. That's the worst. I guess Boston's getting some rain and then they're gonna get a foot of snow. I guess they're catching a break. But it looks like a lot of other places. Like more north. It looks like Maine, Maryland. I guess Boston. They're still getting snow, but it's just a lot of wet weather.

This is what it boils down to. You got New York's kind of there. Well, they're all kind of close together, honestly. We got a lot of rain here today, and then it snowed for a bit, but it's kind of weird because, like, normally here we get snow, but now we've just been getting rain, and it's been warmer than usual. Halloween, we had, like, normally here we get snow. But now we've just been getting rain. And it's been warmer than usual. Halloween we had, like, a snowstorm.

And now we've just been getting rain. It's felt like spring outside. Hmm. I don't know. I don't get it. I don't know. It's like that one time in February it was, like, 70 degrees. I hope that happens again.

That's the weather. All right. And sports. Sports. Welcome to the sports desk, man. Let me tell you about some sports because it was crazy today. So we started out on Thanksgiving's Day with some sports. We had the Chicago Bears beat the Detroit Lions third string quarterback.

We had the Buffalo Bills beat the Dallas Cowboys in Dallas, which was one of the highest ranked NFL Thursday Thanksgiving games of all time. So people really like watching the Cowboys lose. I know I did. The Saints beat the Falcons, and the Falcons kicker made like three straight recoverable onside kicks, which was kind of insane. But they're the Falcons, so they didn't cash in on it.

Then today we had the Packers beat the Giants. I woke up early, watched that one. That was a good game. They won, so it was better than last week where they got destroyed. The Dolphins beat the Eagles somehow. The Eagles continue to, I don't know what's happening. The NFC East is really bad. Like, it's really, really bad.

Just to let you know how bad this is, the Dallas Cowboys are 6-6. That's six wins, six losses, and they're in first place. That is very bad. The Eagles are in second at 5-7. The Redskins are 3-9, and the Giants are now 2-10. To show you some other divisions for comparison, the Packers 9-3 in first, Vikings 8-3 in second place,

and the Bears, with the same record, are in third place and probably going to miss the playoffs. That's how bad the NFC East is. Well, good to know that they won't be in it for long. Yeah. Actually, you know what? We're fools. It's the Cowboys' year.

They're going all the way. This is what's happening. Who knows? I remember one year the worst team, I think a team won a division at 8-8. I think it was the Rams in the West when the West was really bad. And then they just got lost in the first round. It was pretty sad. So that happened.

Then we had the Buccaneers beat the Jaguars. Minshew got put back in. I saw. Everyone was tweeting today like Minshew mania. I was very excited. Minshew came back in. He went 16-27. Did you see the picture the Jaguars tweeted out?

It's a gif of him walking up to the camera and stroking his mustache and, like, winking. And I'm like, oh, that's my dude. I did not see that. It is lovely. He did do better than Nick Foles, though. Nick Foles went 7 of 14, 93 yards and interception. Minshew went 16 of 27, 147 yards, a touchdown, and a pick.

So, just ride the Minshew train. Minshew mania. Get him back in there. Get him back, Minshew. Do it. Because, I mean, losing to the Buccaneers is not good. As Sinvicta, I hear every week, as our football podcast

Bucs fan is like, the Buccaneers are one of the worst teams. I hate being a fan of them. That's my convicted. Then Tennessee beat the Indianapolis Colts 31-17 to take over second place in the AFC South, a game behind Houston, who beat New England tonight. Crazy win there, 28-22.

Good. Yeah. Good. Which means the Patriots only one game ahead of the Buffalo Bills. Watch out. You can do it, Bills. This is your year. You can do it.

Let's go, Bills. This is the time. You're in striking distance. Get them. Get them. Run them over like the Buffalo of old. It's your time. The New York Jets in classic New York Jets fashion lost. Oh, wait. Hold on. No, hold on. Hold on. They'd be like the Buffalo of old. It's your time. The New York Jets in classic New York Jets fashion lost.

Oh, wait. Hold on. No, hold on. Hold on. They'd be the Bills of old because it's the Buffalo Bills. So, yes, run them over like the Bills of old. The New York Jets in classic New York Jets fashion lost to the 0-11 Cincinnati Bengals, giving them their first win of the season.

Congratulations, Cincinnati Bengals. Now that is an embarrassment. You are now 1-11. You're doing it, Bengals. Wouldn't it be amazing if they just had a complete losing season? God, that would be wild. Well, the Lions did it back in 2008 or something. I don't remember what it was.

You know what? I'm glad we gave them hope. They're like the bad news bears. They got the one win, and it's fine. Good job, Bengals. Thanks, Jets. Then the Redskins beat the Panthers somehow. The Redskins somehow winning a game.

They're up to three wins. The best game of the week possible super bowl matchup ravens beat the 49ers 2017 on a last second field goal uh the rams blew out the cardinals 34-7 the broncos beat the chargers as the chargers yet again had a chargers loss which is the probably one of the most sad things you can have happen is is a Charger-esque loss, because that's what they do. The 49ers... Wait, no. Where am I?

The Chiefs beat the Raiders 40-9. Oh, my God. I see how the 49ers appeared there. All right. And then the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Cleveland Browns. Yeah, it happened. I got an email, or not an email, a text message from my mom that was like, yo, how about that duck?

I'm like, what? And she goes, oh, Steelers game. I still don't know what the context is. I did not watch it. She's like, how about that duck? Now I got to look up Steelers duck. Steelers versus Browns. Pittsburgh gets revenge as Duck Hodges advances.

Oh, Duck Hodges. Duck Mania is alive and well. Devlin Duck Hodges. Oh, it's his nickname. I hate all these titles of these Steelers. Look for luck from Duck. I hate it. I hate all of these. This one says Duck Dynasty, backup Hodges, lead Steelers.

Shut up. Stop. Stop this. I don't care. I just, I thought there was, my mom was like, how about that Duck? And I was like, what the hell? What happened to this game? So, yeah, we're getting closer to the playoffs now.

There's only four weeks left in football season before we hit the playoffs. And right now, it's looking like Ravens, Patriots, 49ers, Saints clearly going to get in. Looks like Packers will get in. Seahawks will get in. Vikings will get in. Bills should get in. So, it's not even a question. You can do it, Bills. Chiefs will get in. Texans should get in. Vikings will get in. Bills should get in. It's not even a question. Chiefs will get in. Texans

should get in. Then the Steelers-Titans look like they'll be battling for that last spot. That'll be interesting. Can't wait for the Steelers to win it and then immediately lose the next game. That sounds about right. I see it as Thursday. Packers have to play the Vikings.

That's going to be like the Packers have played the Vikings. That's gonna be like the third Viking game of the year. I hate that. And then the Cowboys play the sea. How do they get to play the Cowboys? That's dumb. Either way, whoever advances probably lose. I can tell this really upsets you. I don't know.

It's because it's like the Cowboys are bad, and then the Seahawks get to play them even though they're a lower-ranked sea. That's just dumb. So that's sports. All right, Grendor, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Big news story of the day.

It's the big news story. It's the big news story. Did you find one? Yes. Florida man demands bank teller give him less money during alleged robbery. Okay, I'm in. I'm in. Let's figure this out. Let's figure this out. Let's see. A Florida man who allegedly robbed a bank while donning a Make America Great Again shirt apparently received far more money than he demanded and told the teller to give him a

smaller amount of cash. Sandy. At least he's honest. Bless him. Sandy Hawkins, 73, was arrested Tuesday following the robbery that unfolded at Wells Fargo Bank. Oh, that's because he's 73. He's like a different type of villain. He's like, back in my day

we the villains had class. He's one of the guys who tried to stop the Joker. It makes sense now. He demanded $1,100 and the teller counted out $2,100 bills, but Hawkins, according to a probable cause affidavit obtained by the news outlet,

told him it was too much and again demanded $1,100. The teller then slid $1,100 through the window and Hawkins took it and left. So she gave him $2,000 and he's like, hold on, that's too much. I wonder if it's, I think it's either two things. One, he's like, you know how in the movies there's always that one criminal who's like, I only rob what I can't afford. And so maybe he had to pay for bills or something and he was like, I only need $1,100. I don't want to steal more than I need to from the bank. Right?

That's his justification. Or there's some legal thing where if it's $1,100 and under, it's not considered as big of a crime. Interesting. So apparently he is discovered after the manager at a nearby sports bar he frequented identified him. When Palm Beach County. Wait, so he went to go drink. He went to go spend his $1,100 on booze. Well, when the deputy showed up to his home on Tuesday, he confessed and told them,

I'll make this easy. He apparently handed them a bank deposit slip that read, give me $1,100. Now, no alarms. Hope to get caught. What? Yeah, he handed them a bank deposit slip that read, give me $1,100. Now, no alarms. Hope to get caught.

Why? Wait, what? Hawkins' old landlord, Scott Vale, described vale described a 73 year old man to the palm beach post as an affable kind of person who probably reached some kind of breaking point when his wife died in 2013 oh shit so you think this guy was like send me to prison they'll take care of me there maybe i don't know whoa fascinating maybe he's like maybe he's like losing money or like he lost his money or something maybe like his wife died and he like well he said i want to get caught last thing maybe

like he gambled a bunch of money away or like spent it all on like booze or something oh you're giving him like a seedy side story i just thought maybe he wants to get caught so he can get like three square meals a day and that's what i mean maybe he's like running out of money he's just like screw it i'll go to prison i don't care i figure when you're 73 prison is just like a nursing home right i feel like it's the exact same thing except there the the they by state law have to take care of you 1500 starts a grand larceny charge he just needed a winter home so he did he made sure not that yes i was right oh I was right! Oh, I knew it! That's why he was like, I don't want $2,000, I want

$1,100. And so he can go to prison and he'll get a lesser sentence so he can be there for, you know, six months or whatever. And he can have a home and just, oh, sneaky old man. Damn, dude, this guy's playing chess while we're playing

checkers over here. Wow. He's taking kings while we're still fighting pawns. Man, that's... Honestly, I like this Florida man. I'm impressed with this guy. Yeah, Florida man figured it out. Way better than Newport Richie's over there.

He's over there. Going crazy. Newport Richie's like, give me $1,100. He's like, sir, we'll give you $2,000. He's like, no, no, no. I only need $1,100 because around that KFC is some golden tickets. And I'm going to get 11 tickets for me and my friends to heaven. So shut up and give me that money. You're going to buy a McDiappleberry. There my friends to have it. So shut up and give me that money. I'm going to buy a McD Appleberry.

There's no doubt about it. I'm going to go buy a McD Appleberry and take it to my man Minshew because we win in some games, baby. Oh, Newport Richie. You fool. That's the

news. Alright, well that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this podcast. Crandor! Hit up the noose. All right. Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening and watching, or however you're enjoying this podcast. Crandor, hit up the socials. Socials. Follow us on SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crandor. iTunes, Cox and Crandor. We're on Spotify.

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and then you just delete the podcast part at the end of it and you'll find all the animations that Dan makes which make us actually funny then yeah you can follow us on our things. We got twitch.tv slash Crendor. Watch me paint Warhammer.

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All right. Well, thank you all for listening. We'll see you guys next time. And as always, to be continued.