Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 223 - Old People Problems

Episode Date: December 9, 2019

This week Jesse finds himself overworked and stressed out for the holidays for the first time in his life, all because he ....cares? Meanwhile, Crendor still does not. But he sure has lots of problems. Also Florida man returns caught in an affair with crack cocaine! All this and more in an all new Cox n' Crendor! Check out Hawthorne at http://hawthorne.co and use promo code COX to get 10% off your first purchase Get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at http://calm.com/cox

Today's episode is brought to you by Calm. If you need a good night's sleep or you're just looking to chill out, Calm is the app for you. Also today we're brought to you by Hawthorne. Hawthorne is going to help you smell your best. You're probably saying to yourself, Jesse, why do you smell so good all the time? You wouldn't be the only one to say that. A lot of people say that. It's weird. But thank you because I got my cologne game on, y'all. And here's the thing. You can too. We'll talk

about that later as well. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Hit me!

Wake your ass up! It's up next! Redneck in the morning! Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me! Redneck in the morning! Hello everybody! Welcome back to another exciting episode of Guys, Redneck in the morning! Greetings.

Whoa. Hey there, morning. Greetings. Whoa. Hey there, creepy psycho killer. You did a callback there, you know? Yeah, no, you did. You definitely did. Every once in a while, you need to do a callback. Callback. Return to sender.

Say no to the charges. I am not into that one. That is... All right. That's the only callback we'll have for a while on the yeah no greetings was is the scariest one that's the like he seemed like such a nice boy yeah we don't want that again for the record never address anyone with greetings it's weird everyone out there it's so

weird listen to it go back listen that's weird sounding no out there, it's so weird. Listen to it. Go back. Listen. That's weird sounding. No one talks like that. Yeah. So how are you doing? Good. Crazy week.

That was just a very blatant good. I mean, you know, it's just been a wild week. I spent time planning a party and then working, and that was it. And I have so much stuff I need to get done, and I'm just, like, frazzled. I'm like, yeah! So that's where I'm at mentally. You're just planning stuff, doing things? Trying to, trying to make sure everything's done. Turns out when you care to do things in advance, you stress a lot more.

Oh, yeah. That's why I never do that. I forget things and I forget to do stuff, but I care. You know, it doesn't affect me as much. Right. And so I'm like, oh, I missed it. Whatever. Well, now that I'm living this, like, I got to do this, this, this, this lifestyle.

It's like, oh, my God, there's so much to do. Yeah, I feel that. That's why I always wait there's so much to do so yeah i feel that that's why i always wait till the last second do anything i get why people get stressed this time of year because everyone's constantly busy so planning anything and doing anything with more than just yourself is like okay well i can't fit you in this thursday but i can for 15 minutes on the following Friday. And you're like, oh, my God. So everything's just that kind of thing. It sucks. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. Then you hit January and everyone stops doing anything. Yeah. Well, hopefully that's not the case. Hopefully. Moment one. Not even joking. January 1, I go to MAGFest.

I get up in the morning on the first day of the year and I'm like let's do this and I'm back at it again that's where my life is I'm immediately just go I just had flashbacks to like so many times where I just put things off to the last second you I don't believe it yeah like even in school all right here's here's a fun story so i was failing statistics my senior year of high school and the teacher was like if you do all the homework you've missed i'll give you half credit for like each thing so i spent one night just powering through all the homework I missed while watching like CBS cold case or something and uh I got a D in that class and I graduated I uh believe every bit of that story there are many stories I've heard over the years where I'm like I don't know that doesn't sound

true but this story for some reason I believe it there's also my one friend who i still get food with all the time we're uh we're in one class together and i used to copy his homework like right before we had to turn it in it should the teacher would be walking around being like all right i'm gonna check everybody's thing but we'd be like at the end of the check and i'd be like yo let me just copy your homework he'd be like not again and i just copied down i gotta see in that class thanks to copying homework yeah he gotta see you got whatever he got well he still brings it up because he's like how he's like i like tried in school did all this stuff and then you just copied me and now you're just playing video games on the internet and i'm like working a dumb job and i was like that's the

secret buy my book and i'll tell you everything you need to know. Don't write a book. Don't write a book. I was going to write a book and call it, I didn't try and you can too. But you're asking people to try it not trying. It goes against the code you've set up. Well, part of the thing is you can't just not try. That's part of the secret of the book, right? Because if you don't try, then you just sit there not doing anything.

You have to pick and choose what you try it. But the things you don't try it, you really don't try it. You're like... Until you have to try. You're like Bizarro Yoda. Instead of do or do not, there's a try. You're like, try if you want try if not me no care

well the thing is yeah well i guess the thing is i try at the things i really care about but the things i don't care about i really don't try like when i got into warhammer like i still do like try warhammer everything i tried a lot when i got into youtube but i tried while not trying if you could like if you looked at my videos you'd be like wow this like i'd watch my old videos and i'd be like this is pretty funny and then i'd see one part and i'd be like oh yeah this is a part where i drew it in microsoft paint because i was like i don't want to film this shit. So I just drew it. So it's like you get the hints of like lack of effort, but you still see the effort put into that lack of effort. Does that make sense?

You're like a fine wine. There's hints of lack of effort with some sort of apathy mixed in there. What I'm saying is, I don't know why I got here, but here I am. That's what I'm saying. You really are some sort of philosopher, aren't you? I don't know why I got here, but here I am. That's a t-shirt is what that is. I don't know why I got here, but here I am. Oh, that's a t-shirt is what that is.

I don't know why I got here, but here I am. Oh my god, I did write down some things. One thing I wrote down, I was eating a breakfast out, but it was like brunch, so there was a lot of old people there getting their breakfast brunch. And this one woman, they came in, and they sit down, and the guy's like, I want whole grain, no not whole grain, I want rye, rye bread French toast. And they're like, uh, I mean I guess we can do that, yeah? And he's like, you can do the rye French toast. And they're like, yeah, we don't like make it normally, but we got rye bread, we can do it with that.

And he's like, good, good. And I don't want maple syrup. I want honey. And only three-fourths has to be filled with honey. I don't need it to the top. And then the wife got, like, some normal stuff or whatever. How very specific. Yeah. And then they wanted to ask the waitress something.

And he's like, just go in the kitchen and ask her. And she's like, I'm not going in the kitchen. And then they wanted to ask the waitress something. And he's like, just go in the kitchen and ask her. And she's like, I'm not going in the kitchen. And he's like, I'll do it. And he'll start getting up. But then they came back and they're just like, what do you need? So he's ready to walk into the kitchen. And then she was like, hey, don't they normally fry French toast?

It says on the menu they grill it. Are they going to grill the French toast? And he's like, I don't care how they grill it. Are they going to grill the French toast? And he's like, I don't care how they make it. Are they going to grill them? No. Alright, first off, you don't fry French toast. Who fries French toast? I don't know.

Yeah, why would you deep fry French toast? I feel like both fry and grill are the wrong, maybe griddle or flat top. Like, that's a better descriptor of how you would cook it. I think both of those are wrong, but I still think it's funny that they're both, you know, kind of wrong. I guess, like, in a way it's grilling it, but it's not truly grilling it. You're not, like, busting out your charcoal grill, like, cook up the old French toast today. Yeah, what's

funny is she's using frying correctly and they're using grilling correctly and they're both just silly and she's like well what hold on now i just looked up a recipe from robert irvine the chef guy and he says you fry slices until golden brown am I thinking of deep frying then? I think you're thinking of deep frying. I mean, you can fry something. Flat-top griddle cooked those bad boys. It's the same thing. Well, what's the act of flat-top

grilling it? I don't know. Maybe it's all... Maybe it all mixes together. Okay, this says, cook bread slices on lightly greased non-stick griddle or skillet on medium heat. That's what I'm saying? You're not frying them. Frying it? Sounds crazy to me.

It does sound kind of crazy. There's got to be some chef out there that's got the correct terminology for us. How do you make French toast? Maybe we're caught up on the terminology. Help us out here. We definitely got some chefs out there I know, because they're like, come to my kitchen

I'll make you the finest pizza Out of that story, it's funny that the most important part Is whether it's fried or grilled The rest of the story, unimportant For us, we're like, hold on a minute The rest of the story is just like Them being old people Well, I mean

You know The elderly Our greatest resource Or is just like them being old people? Well, I mean, you know, the elderly. Our greatest resource. We'll use them for energy in the future. This says fry French toast. Okay. What is frying? What is frying? You know what?

We might as well know. We might as well look it up. Frying is the cooking of food in oil or another fat. Similar to sauteing, pan-fried foods are generally turned over once or twice during cooking using tongs or spatula, while sauteed foods are cooked by tossing in the pan. I guess pan-fry does work. Yeah. I think pan-fry is probably the most accurate description.

So technically, you could griddle fry. You could griddle fry. Actually, can you like bake French toast, like put it in the oven or something? I think you can. Yeah, bake French toast. I feel like that's a thing. Yeah, bake cinnamon sugar French toast. Oh, that sounds good that sounds good

um so anyway that was the thing and then uh there's like this thing on youtube a guy recommended to me about beanie babies and i was watching it and i had like so many flashbacks about beanie babies and i realized i used to have a lot of Beanie Babies. I think a lot of people did. There was a time period where everyone was like, that'll be worth money one day. Yeah, but they're not worth money now. No, they are not.

The problem is that so many people thought they'd be worth money that they all got them, and now so many people have them that they're not worth money because so many people bought them. Supply and demand, my friend. That is Economics 101. You might have learned something in high school, maybe. That's true. I did learn some things.

But not a lot of things. Yeah, I don't know. Oh my god, remember the McDonald's Beanie Babies? That's what I'm saying. Most people got Beanie Babies from McDonald's, too. Yeah. Did you work at McDonald's when they had the Beanie Babies? That's what I'm saying. Most people got Beanie Babies from McDonald's, too. Yeah. Did you work at McDonald's when they had the Beanie Baby? I did.

I helped smuggle some of them to friends' moms. They'd be like, do they have eensy teensy ballerina bear? And I'd be like, yeah, they do. I'll get you one. What do you do for me? one what do you do for me do you do you like gummy old lady kisses maybe i do well i have gummy bears and hershey kisses uh see i don't know i had like a weird Beanie Baby nostalgia flashback Yeah I don't

I kind of remember it being that way With Star Wars action figures And God all sorts of different things From the early 2000's Late 90's was that period Where everyone was like it'll be worth something That was because people started to discover things

Like comics could be worth something Or action figures From the 70's could be worth something. That was because people started to discover things like comics could be worth something or action figures from the 70s could be worth something and people didn't ever expect that to be a thing. So suddenly every toy and every comic was like, you have to hold on to it. It could be worth something. Yeah. You're like, nah, turns out that wasn't the case at all.

Except for like probably one rare one that nobody cared about. Or, oh my God, the one everybody was probably like, I don't want that one. That one's ugly. Like Jumbaji the elephant or some shit. And then Jumbaji. Nobody wanted him.

Now he's the rare one nobody's got. And then everybody wants that one. Yeah. They had to burn all the Jumbajis. All the Jumbajis they threw in a fire except for one. That one's worth $8 million now. Yeah. Some grandmother in Poughkeepsie is like,

Oh, Jumanji. And then she'll sell it to, like, Nikola Tesla's, like, grandson or some shit that, like, has all the Tesla money. I feel like that's Elon Musk is who you're referring to. No, no, no, no. Unless you mean, like... Elon Musk, who's making the Tesla.

But Nikola Tesla's grandson's inherited... The Tesla fortune. The non-existent tesla fortune from all those amazing tesla light bulbs yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that one um my grandfather gave me all of his money and i should use it to buy Jumanji, the last elephant. Nikola Tesla grandson. Turbo, a grandson of Nikola Tesla's only son. Get the hell out of here. Turbo Tesla.

Holy shit. Get out of here. Turbo Tesla. Holy shit. Get out of here with this nonsense. What? Turbo Tesla is... Hold on. Do we have pictures of Turbo Tesla? Turbo Tesla died last year. How old was he?

Well, he looks kind of old. He died... Let's see. Turbo Tesla. Well, he looks kind of old. Let's see. Turbo. Tesla. How do you spell his name? Because when I type in Turbo Tesla, I get a car. Yeah.

It's William Turbo Tesla. Oh, wow. Turbo was old. Oh, it was spelled T-E-R-B-O. But hold on. That's his grandnephew. That's not his grandson. William H. Turbo, Nikola Tesla's grandnephew.

Oh, the last living relative. Yeah. There's no other relatives of his family. There's a video from like four years ago, and it says the bloodline dies with me says william turbo yeah he's the last one living relative damn whoa just imagine saying like the bloodline dies with me that's messed up but like that's also really cool that is that night dies with me i would see that movie the bloodline dies with me is a terrible title for a movie it explains everything in the title the bloodline dies with me the bloodline dies with me what would that even be about what is that movie a vampire movie

i don't know. The bloodline dies with me. Oh my god. Wait, so he just never had kids then? It's one of those smart people curses. All the smart people just keep getting old and never have kids.

I devoted my life to science. Meanwhile, stupid people are breeding like crazy. Yeah, never have kids. Like I devoted my life to science. Meanwhile, stupid people breathing like crazy. Yeah. A billion kids. They're just like nonstop popping out. What else we gonna do? Work. That's what we got kids for.

Cletus, you are a genius. Yeah, I know. Put them to work. What was I talking about? I don't know. I don't know either.

I don't know. You know what else? Last year, this exact same time, we did an episode about how I was really into listening to Christmas music. Because Christmas is only two weeks away, right? Yeah. Last year, I was like, dude, I'm just listening to all the Christmas music. I was playing into listening to Christmas music. Because Christmas is only two weeks away, right? Yeah. Last year I was like, dude, I'm just listening to all the Christmas music. I was playing it on the radio. I was like, I love Christmas music right now.

This year, not feeling it. This year, I have only heard one Christmas song. Of course it was Mariah Carey. That's all I've heard so far. Here's the thing. That song never gets old. It's always wonderful. All the far. Here's the thing. That song never gets old. It's always wonderful. All the time. I hear it everywhere I go and every time

I'm like, I love Walt Christmas. It's beautiful. It's a wonderful song. It's a wonderful song. Most other Christmas songs that I've been hearing are like, I don't know, modern versions of old standards. Yeah.

Of old classic ones. Maybe it was like Michael Bublé or someone. I was in the grocery store the other day and it was playing in the background and he's like, let it snow, let it snow. And it went on for like 10 minutes and I'm like scatting at the end. And I was just like, what? Let it end. Let it end.

I get it. You're singing this. We're in a grocery store. I'm forced to listen to it, but enough. Enough. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe it's because it's been warmer than normal. Oh, you don't have the snow on the ground?

We had snow in Halloween. And then Thanksgiving, it was like 48 degrees, which is practically like spring. And then it's just been raining. So it feels more like spring. It feels like March. Put on a fire, cozy up next to it, play some fun Christmas music. I don't know what you consider fun. The Backstreet Boys Christmas album. Ah, yes, my favorite.

Sit down, drink cocoa. Do you have hot chocolate? Maybe that's your problem. Maybe I haven't had hot chocolate. That might give me heartburn, though. God damn. I can't do Christmas. It gives me heartburn though i can't do christmas it gives me heartburn all this joy in the world gives me heartburn um i don't know i don't know here's the thing uh I feel like last year, last year might have been colder, but I don't know if it was.

It might just be a placebo. Maybe I'm just not feeling the Christmas spirit this year. Are you more stressed? What's happening to you? I'm not even stressed. I'm feeling good. I go to the gym, work out. Maybe that's what's doing it.

But I worked out last year, but now I'm working out even harder. Are you telling me you're so hoarded out that you no longer feel the joy of the holiday season? Well, the thing is, oh my god, there's some other stuff that happened. So like, uh oh. Okay, it's like 40s outside. Sometimes like high 30s once it gets dark out. But like, that's not that cold to me. Like, I wear maybe a long sleeve shirt and I pull my sleeves up because I get hot now.

Because my circulation is just powerful. Uh, so I work out, I get out of the gym. I have my sleeves rolled up walking around. People are like bundled up like, but I'm feeling great. And so I go buy cat food and the one lady's there is like,

where's your coat? And I was like, I don't need one. I just got out of the gym. I'm hot. And she's like, Oh, and then

you know what i think i told that story already you did uh but then uh like somebody else said the same thing they're just like where's your coat and i'm like why is everybody so concerned about me being cold like i'm not cold if i was cold i'd put on a coat maybe they're looking out for you maybe you are desensitized toized to the chills because you've got that heat thing going on. Your body's like, oh, oh, oh, right? But really, your body's like, oh, oh, oh, it's cold. But you don't know it. What?

You know how when you have hyperthermia, you don't realize that you're freezing to death. I feel like you would know that. But also, you're sweaty, so maybe you could get sick faster. I don't know the rules, man. I don't know. I'm not even sweating, though. I sweat maybe a tiny bit when you're working out, but then it goes awake fast. I don't sweat a lot.

Oh, you need to get your sweat in. Why are you not going to work out and sweat? Why are you not coming back gross? Because I don't put on a bunch of layers of clothing that's why that's the thing right i learned this from survivor man you don't want to sweat in the cold he's like you add layers slowly if you get hot you just add a layer then if you get hot again then you add another or cold then you add another layer but like if you're if you feel fine don't put on extra hot stuff because then you're gonna sweat then you'll be more cold if you put on a heavy ass jacket because you're like then you're gonna sweat and you're gonna get cold if anything that isn't that what they're wondering

the people who are talking to you they're like hey are you are you not cold because you were sweating and working out maybe that's what they're wondering but i'll say no i'm not sweating i was just working out i'm hot and now i feel great otherwise i'd put a coda well then the conversation should be over right they should be like okay or are they just like no you're gonna die i think there's still like this weird uh i don't know the like theory or wives tale or thing of like if you're out in the cold and you're cold, you're going to get catch a cold. And it's like,

I'm not like sitting like camping out here. Like I'm just walking from the car to the store. I don't know. I don't know the rules. Maybe they, maybe they don't know that you worked out and they see you dressed in not warm clothes. And they're like,

I'm trying to be nice to you, but you're a crazy person. Maybe they think you're crazy. like i'm trying to be nice to you but you're a crazy person maybe they think you're crazy they are probably trying to be nice but at the same time my roid rage at that point is through the roof i've just been bench pressing i've started bench pressing now too oh you're about to kill some people yeah that's been good. Like in high school, I couldn't even lift the bar. What are you at now? Well, I started with the bar to get my form down, and then I put 10 pounds on each side.

I could probably do another 10 on each side. So, I mean, 45, 55, 65, probably like 75 to 85 pounds. Get it, dude? You're about to become super muscular. Yeah, I'm trying to hit all my other muscles now. Got to hit them all. Oh, yeah. Got to get all those muscles.

You don't want to have any muscles. You don't want to be that guy you can't reach behind his back. Yeah. Well, I started doing pull-ups, too. Pull-ups are great. Those are pretty good. I love your newfound athleticism. Yeah.

And then you see the regulars there. It's always fun. You don't talk to them, but you just, you know, you acknowledge like a fellow regular. But you know what's not fun? Irritable bowel syndrome. All right. Yeah, I know. I was on the road with you.

I was in the passenger seat. Sharp left hand turn. Okay. Yeah. Here yeah here we are well the thing is right it's actually helped me out because last year at this time i was seeing my like third gastro doctor being like what is it and they're like sounds like ibs sounds like uh what that one dysfunctional no no functional dyspepsia uh was the other one they said least favorite pepsi flavor i said at least my dyspepsia is functional instead of dysfunctional you're right you're right i guess they were right because like this year i felt a lot better up until i decided to like the thing is when i start working out more uh i was buying one of my like yoga shirts I buy to work out in.

And the one guy was wearing shorts there, a fellow super hot in the cold wearing clothed person. I don't even know what I'm saying. And he is just like, yo, dude, it's bulking season. And I was like, dude, it's bulking season. Got to bulk up. So that's why I've been eating more so I've been gaining weight but at the cost of gaining weight uh if you overeat a lot then your IBS is like so it acts up a little bit so like you you eat your breakfast you eat second breakfast

you eat lunch eat second lunch eat dinner snack. Otherwise, if you overload, that's when you're like, ooh, so you can't overload. But when sometimes you just want to, you just overload. So like, I'm hungry. And then you feel it the next day. You're just dispensing so much helpful life advice. Peppermint tea helps. That's a little tidbit. Peppermint tea is actually pretty good for that.

Right, for irritable bowel syndrome? Yeah. Here's the thing, not as much for gastritis. You got to balance that out because I also got mild gastritis that can flare up. So don't have peppermint tea with that. So peppermint tea not good for farts? Stomach.

No, it is good for that it's good for your colon not for stomach it can irritate your stomach so if my stomach's fine i'll have peppermint tea my stomach's not fine i might swap to a cannon meal oh right you need some herbs in you yeah you need some herbs in you at that point now you just keep drinking water. Then you can calm down. Yeah. And really, that's my health tip of the day. Well, speaking of calm,

did you know that besides protecting your bowels, sleep is a very important thing that you should do as well? And it's important every day of the year, not just the holidays. I sleep seven to eight hours a night, needing my seven, eight hours. The other day I got six hours, didn't feel as good. Right? When you're getting crazy, bulking for the winter or shopping for friends or doing whatever it is that you do in this last month of the year, getting enough sleep, finding those hours, it's hard. Those precious, precious hours.

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Do it right now. Also around this time, around the holiday season, you're spending time with friends and family. Meeting new people. Going to parties. And one of the things gents want to do when they're going out is smell their best. You don't want to smell like stank. You don't want to smell like Crandor coming out of the gym going out into the cold. You don't want that.

Nope. Don't want it. Right? You don't want to smell like your dad either. So as much as you love that scent that your father wore, you don't want to smell like you're 65. Right? You don't want that.

You don't want to wear the same thing you wore from high school where you've grown up. Right? Everyone has their own scent. Everyone has their own vibe. And now you can figure out what yours is. Hawthorn is going to help you smell your best this holiday season and help you find a new scent maybe, help you recreate an old scent you can't find anymore. Basically find the right scent for you gents and do this one not for yourself, do this

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What's the scent? of what i picked out it's very what is your what is what is your smell what's the scent uh well i picked like natural and like uh chill and like calming stuff uh pretty much uh pretty much just chill natural calm you know like myself of course uh right and it's just like a i smell like a 50 year old model man that's like wow not like kind of like I tweeted a picture like me and I'm like dude this is me at 50 if I keep going to the gym it looks like that's the type of smell I ain't

right I think I maybe kind of understand what you're saying me yeah honestly I like it I think it's great I keep using it every day mine is like uh I don't even know how to describe it. I want to say masculine but sweet. That sounds about right.

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Your family will thank you for it. All right, Crandor. Let's go to chapter number seven of the crowd. Whatever I just for it all right Crandor let's go to chop your own some of the crowds whatever I just said good Crandor yeah here we are in the crowds of the sky very crowded sky it's getting close to Christmas as we've already said but I'm smelling good which is fantastic and looking down there traffic not, not that bad. But in about a week, maybe a week and a half, it is going to be traffic city, let me tell you that much.

And by traffic city, I mean Los Angeles, because that place is a shit show. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor to the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather is happening everywhere. That that's true you're not wrong um let's see weather.com's big story is snow is coming timing and locations

wowee well where is the snow timing location snow is coming that is like a very that's a weather.com article if i've ever heard one so it's coming locations uh looks like wisconsin minnesota uh probably some east coast like philly boston uh some north carolina in there you got pretty much the whole east coast you got like a nice mix and then wednesday it looks like new york washington dc boston i'll get in some snow also uh i looked up the weather from last year it was actually pretty similar so it is just my brain not appreciating the christmas spirit uh this year for some reason i don't know uh let's type in a nine one one two four pasadena california 56 degrees mostly cloudy feels like 56 you got a high of 56 a low of 47 uv index zero of 10 uh tonight 47 degrees. Partly cloudy skies. Winds are light and variable. Humidity, 81%.

Yeah, it is UV. You got the UV index of zero. Monday, 63. Pretty nice. Monday night, 47. Tuesday, 66. And Tuesday night, 48. Pull up the old Ted Day here.

Yeah, it's 66, 68, 71, 73, 67, 65, 65, 65, 61, 60, 60, 50. It's like the week of a week right before Christmas. Yeah. Shower, shower, showers and 60 degrees. Yeah, that's the it's it's that month. Every December, January isish, rather than snow, it just rains for, I don't know, two weeks on and off. And this year, it's been raining like two or three days, and then it stops for a few. And then two or three days, and then it stops for a few.

That's fine. I like it. I like the rain. I love the rain, too. Yeah. That's Pasadena, California weather. All right. Sports.

Sports. Welcome to the sports desk. Here we go. Big time sports. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sports. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sports.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sports. So on Thursday, we had the Bears beat the the cowboys who are somehow still in first place we had the falcons beat the panthers the ravens beat the bills but it was close bills had a chance to tie it at the end then the guy uh made a good play and broke up the past the bills lost uh surprise i thought it was closer than b uh browns beat the bengals packers beat the redskins vikings beat the lions san francisco beat a good new orleans uh team and they won 48 to 46 that was a crazy game uh jets beat the dolphins in the loser bowl uh the buccaneers beat the colts the broncos beat the Texans. The Chargers destroyed

the Jaguars. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, no. Look at the box score here. Minshew. He didn't actually do too bad. 24-37. 162 yards and a touchdown. That's not bad.

Yeah, so he didn't screw the game for them. Really, it's the rest of the team that's the problem. It was really their defense gave up 24 points by halftime, which is not good. Minshew can't do it all, people. Minshew can't do it all. Come on. He can't do it all, guys. You got to build a team around him.

Build a team around him. Give him the team he deserves. Give him the team he deserves. All mustache-clad playboys. I demand it. team he deserves all mustache clad playboys i demand it uh the titans beat the raiders 42 21 as the titans keep on rolling uh the chiefs beat the patriots 23 16 in new england good job chiefs good job crazy there and the steelers beat the Arizona Cardinals 23-17. Great.

So cool. Once again, end of the season, they're like, well, we're not getting in. Screw it. Let's start winning. Well, it may surprise you, but currently the Pittsburgh Steelers are in the playoffs if it started today. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If it started today playoffs if it started today. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If it started today. If it started today.

They still have a couple weeks, and they're tied with Tennessee at 8-5, and then the Texans are 8-5. So it's kind of a battle between the Steelers, the Texans, and the Titans. Somebody's getting in, somebody's also getting in, and somebody's not. Well, two teams with T's, that's's not. Well, two teams will tease. That's too close. So one of them's got to go. Yeah, one of them's got to go.

And then over in other sports, let's see the NBA. NBA basketball. Bulls are beating the Heat right now. They'll probably lose. Let's see. You got the Bucs at now. They'll probably lose. Let's see. You got the Bucs at the top at 20-3. Boston, Miami, Toronto in the top four. And then in the West, you got your...

I don't want to buy a City Edition NBA store thing. Lakers, 20-3. Mavericks, Clippers, Rockets all at the top four in the Western Conference. And the Golden State Warriors still in last place at 5-19, along with the New York Knicks. Next year is going to be the Knicks and Warriors year. Yeah, next year is the year, man. And they... Hold on, let me check NHLl real quick blackhawks are winning uh that's good you got stanning uh

who washington's doing well of course boston the islanders where's buffalo hey they're in the a spot they'd make the playoffs technically. Wait, it's three-way tie at Toronto. Oh, my God. St. Louis, Colorado, Edmonton. Yeah, that's hockey. And that's sports. Okay, Crandor, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Wait, Florida man charged for sexually assaulting stuffed Olaf from Frozen Toy. We covered this story.

We did. We covered this story. We did. We got that one. We were ahead of the game. But why is it from yesterday? Are they reusing news? What? Wait, what?

Or is this like he went to court or something? Another person? There's no way another man used an Olaf sexually. In Florida? There's no way. man used an Olaf sexually. In Florida? There's no way. All right. All right. What is this story? Okay, here we go.

A Florida prosecutor yesterday filed a misdemeanor criminal account against a 20-year-old man arrested last month for allegedly engaging in sexual conduct. It's an update. Yeah, at Target. A misdemeanor information charges Cody Christopher Meter with criminal mischief in connection with October 22nd incident in a Target about 10 miles from

his St. Petersburg residence The December 5th information accuses Meter, seen at right of willfully and maliciously damaging Target goods by ejaculating on the merchandise Ew, ew, why did I just Like before just saying damaging target goods by ejaculating on the merchandise. Ew. Like before just saying maliciously damaging the goods.

Fine. But then they're like by ejaculating on the merchandise. By jizzing on Olaf. Oh gross. Damage said property being $200 or less. I'd hope so. That's an expensive Olaf otherwise.

Court records don't list the date. He remains free on a $150 bond. According to police report, he arrived at Target around 2 p.m. and approached a display featuring characters from Disney Frozen. He then selected a large olaf stuffed animal placed it on the floor and proceeded to dry hump the cinematic snowman until he ejaculated on the merchandise these are quotes upon returning the soiled stuffed animal back to the rack uh the meter entered a toy department and the cops said he selected a large unicorn and began to hump that one.

After being detained, meter reportedly admitted to doing stupid stuff and admitted that he, quote, nutted on Ola. I can't. I can't I can't it's even funnier so dumb it's so dumb why are people like this I don't know

what goes wrong in a life sometimes I really wonder let's see and that's Sometimes I really wonder. Let's see. There's got to be another thing. There's got to be one more story here. Let's see. Florida man.

Wait. Wife won't like Florida man's excuse for speeding. Okay. Why not? All right. We're in. Go on. Florida man caught driving recklessly told police he needed to get home in a hurry because he was cheating on his wife.

That's according to an arrest affidavit. I still know how to say it. John Earl Picard, 52, was driving 90. Captain Picard? Oh, no. Yeah, Captain Picard was driving, was driving 90. Captain Picard? Oh, no. Picard was driving 90 in a 55. In addition, Picard spontaneously admitted to

paying $50 for crack cocaine found in a baggie in his t-shirt. I feel like this guy's got a lot more problems than just cheating on his wife I'm gonna go out on a limb and say lady you lucked out him getting arrested was the best thing that could have happened to you

let me tell you here's some quality comments dumbass forgot to stash the crack somewhere before being pulled over Florida strikes again if he had not cocaine was cheating and speeding he could have come up with a lame excuse his wife would have bought

maybe 52 looks older than that that's a cocaine that's a cocaine 52. that's that guy's been down some rough roads winston smith said i bet you could make a real good country song from all this stuff. Have each verse be a different one of the news stories. Then the chorus would be, I know I got my problems, but hey, I'm a Florida man. That's actually a great song. Somewhere out there, Kenny Chesney's like, all right. I'm a Florida man. I'm a flower man Wait so is there no end to this story

This guy gets pulled over He's like oh my wife's gonna catch me for cheating How I don't know And then he gets arrested Because there's crack in the front seat Yes Yeah that's pretty much what happened. He didn't.

I don't even know if they like, look, he's just like, hey, listen, I'm cheating on my wife. I got crack. All right. What do you want from me? I've had a rough night. I got to drive home. She don't catch me.

I got crack. This cracks for her. It's not for me. I'm bringing it because I got to make good with her. She's at the home waiting for this crack. I told her I was going to get it. The dealer and I were sleeping together. Don't worry about it. It's nothing.

Yeah. So, that's Florida news for the day. Alright, well, that's it for us thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this content Crendor hit em with the socials

youtube.com slash coxandcrendorpodcast all one word you're gonna listen to all the episodes on that youtube channel cause that's where they all go they all go on that youtube channel it's crazy you can also cut off the podcast and just have youtube.com

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I just say like, Siri. I don't think I have my Siri disabled. I don't even know how to talk to Siri on this phone. Be completely honest. I just say, like, Siri? Siri? She doesn't listen to me. Yeah, I don't know how to use these newfangled TikTok gadgets. Yeah, follow us, please. Yeah, just ignore everything we're doing and follow us. All right, well, that's it for us.

And as always, to be continued.