Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 235 - The Fall of Buffdor?!

Episode Date: March 23, 2020

So you're stuck at home? We are too . And you might not notice it from this episode, but we may be going crazy - or hitting our stride. Either way it's time for more nonsense! From Florida being Florida, to Crendor losing his buff status, it's just gonna be that kind of week. But don't worry, there's something fun in the works to brighten everyones day! Get Honey for FREE at http://joinhoney.com/COX

Today's episode is brought to you by honey. You gotta get in those deals cause they're drippin' good. That is... Ooh, we have been inside too long. Those deals is drippin' good deals. I guess we'll talk more about that later. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghosts and Treaddogs! Let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody.

It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studios. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's the next Trendall in the morning.

Welcome back to Cox in quarantine in the morning. Today, we'll be quarantining you with our podcast. Who would have thought two weeks, two whole weeks ago weeks ago we were like it'll be fine see in chicago well here we are you kind of did uh two weeks ago i was talking about how i bought like five things of peanut butter and you're like you're crazy guess who's got peanut butter for weeks you're right i don't have any i'm out of peanut butter i have no peanut butter i'm not gonna buy like a crate of peanut butter I bought like five

Because I'm like you know what this will last me For like over a month I won't have to leave I had to put actual butter on my toast Like a sucker What an idiot What an idiot I am I've still been getting blue apron too

So that's been nice I want to tell you that if you go online right now And try to look at Blue Apron or Freshly or whatever, all those different things, you cannot get them. Yeah, it's like you had to be getting it already. Yeah. And now everyone's like, they're like charging to the gates and they're just like, let me in. They're like, sorry, we're full. There's let me in. All I can picture is that gift now.

What I had was I wanted my, what did my what did i supposed to get something last week i had my last like four weeks planned out i don't even know why normally i don't but like a few weeks ago i was like i'm gonna plan out some food so i was supposed to this week get like some i don't even remember what it was but they were like that's too crazy of recipe, and we're running out of ingredients for that, so you can get these other things. So you get grilled cheese sandwiches. Well, I've got chipotle glazed meatloaf, ginger shrimp and broccoli, and oregano chicken garlic topping. Sounds delicious. Sounds delicious. I was thinking about getting a food delivery service because I was like man

I so I've been watching a lot of Netflix I'm sure like a lot of us And I for some reason Started watching Not cooking TV shows but you know like those food shows Yeah Like I watched Ugly Delicious I finally got through all that And that's a great show and I started watching

All these shows but there's a theme through all of them That I think finally hit home to me Which was like we as a culture eat a ton of meat and for most of human society meat was like you had to hunt that thing down and kill it with your bare hands yeah and it was it was a joyous occasion because you're like we got meat we don't have to eat berries right it hit me like you know know what, man? I need to, I need to like maybe five days a week veggie this thing and then two days get some meat. Yeah. Right? And try to live like a good, better life.

So I thought, oh, okay, well, I will go and get one of these delivery services and try to make it so that I have portioned meals and all this stuff. Went online, started planning it. And this was a few weeks ago. Started planning it and was like, well, okay. I leave for Chicago and I'll spend a few days there so I won't be able to make food. So, all right, I can't do it that way that week. And then, you know, I'm going to go to the U.K. so I can't do that. I'll deal with it in April.

And here we are and I'm like, son of a bitch. If I want stuff, I have to go out and fight people for it in the streets like an animal. Which might be what I need. Maybe it is. Yeah, so I've been I've been

what once was a designer diet of trying to get healthy fruits and vegetables five days a week has now devolved into, like, I got a healthy cuisine frozen meal. So does that count? That's kind of what's going on right now. Like, yeah, I got one of them lean cuisines. Is that good? I mean, I guess it's all right.

Oh, what a mess. What a mess I am. I haven't been out of my house. Well, actually, I'm a liar. The other day, a food truck pulled up outside my apartment complex. So I got a food truck. I got Jamaican jerk tacos, which was a thing. That's for sure.

But, yeah, I haven't left my house in, I'm going to say, 48 hours. And I'm starting to get stir crazy. I'm starting to get wild. I want to be able to just go outside and just go for a walk. But I don't know what the rules are of our lockdown here in in la because we're allowed to go out for essential services right but is me walking down the street in the central service is that essential i think so like like here in the get me the illinois lockdown we're allowed to like go walking and exercising outside

The Illinois lockdown, we're allowed to go walking and exercising outside. Don't just walk next to somebody and cough on them. Well, what if someone walks next to me? Don't cough on them and they don't cough on you. I'm not going to cough on nobody. I ain't got to cough. If someone coughs on me and I get a cough, then I'm stuck. Look, I watched that video of that poor woman who's like,

you don't want to be like me. And now I'm terrified. Now I'm like, I don't want to be like her. She's right. I don't want to be like me and now i'm terrified now i'm like i don't want to be like her she's right i don't want that so don't any of y'all come near me i've been trying to work out ways to film with people and do things and we found creative ways that's for sure we did a scary game squad where all of us were online doing it which we'll see how that turns out i'm just like look i know you all seem healthy. You all seem wonderful. But I don't want to get sick. Thanks.

Right. Like, I saw you cough once, and I'm done. Like, I don't. Yep. No, thank you. My thing's already, like, I've had, like, ongoing, like, sinus, like, issue, like, infection, mini infection things for, like, two and a half months now so i just have like constant like phlegm in my throat and they're like it'll get better when it gets warmer outside

and everything and i'm like still waiting here it's not getting warmer and i have to keep like clearing my throat to the point where my throat's getting irritated from clearing it so much and so then i'm like and i start coughing so i like, I can't go out. People think I'm going to get the corona. Again, that sounds like what I had that summer, where it lasted all summer long, and it was the worst summer of my life. And I was like, come on. I feel fine. But it's like you have a thing happening where it's just like, is this? It almost feels like what smoker's coffee is or something like that where it just exists and you're like why?

It's like a post nasal drip and whatever and then I saw the allergist for it like a month ago and he was like yeah that can just happen you know sometimes they just last a while and they come back if something doesn't drain right and everything whatever so I'm like cool okay so I'm just waiting around here and I just want to go outside and walk Now today it's snowing

Like what the shit Yeah, that sounds right You guys, man, you guys got screwed Although, I kind of feel like a snow walk Would be good because it's freezing And, you know, like it'll shock the system Uh, well I kind of thought that too, but then I started walking

Outside when it was like 40s And I was like, eh, it's that too, but then I started walking outside when it was like 40s, and I was like, eh, it's not bad, and then my throat got more irritated. And so then I'm like, all right, I guess I won't do that. So now I'm just staying inside, waiting for it to warm up, and drinking water and chilling out. Like, I don't feel achy or anything. I don't have a fever. I don't have, like, an actual cough.

I literally have no symptoms except— Yeah, yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. It literally just is goop, I literally have no symptoms. Yeah, yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. It literally just is goop like in your throat. Yeah. It's annoying. What have you been up to? What is what have you been doing day to day? I'm really curious specifically about

you. What are you doing? A good chunk of my last four days have been Animal Crossing. Oh man see I don't I want to do an Animal Crossing series called, man. See, I want to do an Animal Crossing series called I Don't Know Anything About Animal Crossing where I have guests on. Can you play with people in that game?

You can invite people to your island. You can have eight people on your island. So I can bring a guest to come play with me every single episode? If you want. And teach me something new? I don't even know how to play. I've never played Animal Crossing.

Okay. So I feel like you've seen, we've talked about Animal Crossing like on the podcast years ago. Yes. Oh, I know the Animal Crossing universe. Right. I know the characters.

I know what you do. I know the memes. I just never have played it. So here's the thing about Animal Crossing. Like people, I feel like people like Dodger don't get it. Okay. Because you see Dodger on Twitter. She's like, oh, I just catch bugs and fish. What else is there to do? And I feel like people like Dodger don't get it. Okay. Because you see Dodger on Twitter.

She's like, oh, I just catch bugs and fish. What else is there to do? And I'm like, well, that's it. Right. That's what you do. And then, you know, you talk to your animal friends. You pay off your house. You decorate stuff.

You walk around. Sometimes you shoot balloons out of the sky with your slingshot and get little presents. And you have a good time. And then people are like, yeah, but what's the point the point is you relax it's a game that like calms you down and that's it like there's no like combat there's no end game unless your end game's to like build everything that can be built that's the point it's like i was trying to like explain it to chat because i was streaming it yesterday They're like some people don't like Adam across I was like all right It's like taking someone and sitting them down in a chair in like a cozy room and you're like okay now

Just relax, and they're like yeah, but what what do I have to do in here? And you're like nothing we're just gonna sit here. Just enjoy the comfort of the room and just chill out They're like yeah, but what are we gonna do do? And it's like, you just relax. It's like teaching somebody how to relax. I guess people, sometimes people need objectives. And if a game doesn't have objective, it's just like, do what makes you happy, the game. It pisses people off because they're like,

there's no structure. Yeah. Well, this game, a lot of the older Animal Crossing games were like that, but this one actually has at least some mini objectives. Like, it'll be like, catch five fish, catch this fish, catch some bugs, plant some flowers. So it gives you little things. But the problem, someone's like, that's bad game design, they're time-gating things because you can't get the... I'm like, they're not time-gating you for money like a mobile game.

They're time-gating you because that's just how the game is it's meant to be like a little cozy realistic life simulator where you open it up you wake up in the morning you dig up your fossils you plant some stuff you catch a couple fish you're like cool all right i'll play again later that's what that's what it's meant to be i want to see i want yeah i want to do a thing where i invite people to my island and then like they teach me how to play i'm gonna i think you need to be my first person oh definitely perfect perfect i want to start off and be like i don't know what i'm doing come to my island help me and you can show me the ropes and get me started on my adventure yeah all right well actually uh you gotta make it through the

first day like mini tutorial but it doesn't take that long And then the airport opens up the next day Okay And then we'll be good I'm gonna buy my first Animal Crossing game This is gonna happen I'm ready I don't know what to expect I'm not ready

It's funny cause there's like people like Sam Be like oh I play What's the point of this game And then they play like you knowiddy War 5000 on the phone and spend $800 to get some stupid shit. And I'm like, it's like the same thing, but you're not wasting your money away. Yes, but one is Tiddy War 5000, which sounds like a great game. You don't even need to tell me what it's about. I am getting it.

Where's that download code um my main point it's just like a nice cozy little game you pop on for you know 30 40 minutes a day once you get rolling in it and you have a good time so uh and in fact i've seen sam on quite a bit in this one he hasn't been saying anything but i've seen Sam on quite a bit in this one. He hasn't been saying anything, but I've seen him online. He is playing with other people. Yeah. I was talking with him on Thursday, and he was like, yeah, I'm going to try it out for the first time. And I was like, damn, everyone's getting in on this. But I feel like everyone's doing it for monetary reasons

because it's like the new hotness. I want to do it because I don't i don't know what i'm doing and i think it'd be funny to be guided through i think that would be funny too well the thing is everybody got it for like the initial monetary rush right everyone's like up hot new game now that's starting to fall off people are going back to their normal games like sam's already playing gta again right now but here's the thing after he's done playing gta or whenever he's like hey i'm going on a role play show i'm on my switch it's like stripping came online i'm like look at him he's playing the game while he's doing his shit i see him of course he is i never there's one thing i so i do a lot of

like role play shows yeah i never trust anyone to be actively paying attention oh never people are like why are your shows only two hours long, and why do you go through them so quickly? And I'm like, the reason is because I know they're not paying attention, so I will just, like, every five minutes be like, and what does your character do? What do you think? Like, constantly to force them not to be playing something else.

You're like a teacher. I know they are. All right, class. All right, everybody's two plus two is four, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to every,

you got to keep them engaged all the time. You can't let them have that. Like, I guess I'll answer emails. And then, then you say, it's so funny. My favorite thing in the world is catching them off guard.

Cause even when I do shows or podcasts or things, sometimes if it's long, I'll space out. And so I always will try to catch them off guard and be like, okay, and what does your character do? Name. And they'll just look up at me and I don't repeat

what I just said. I just wait for them to respond. It's so mean. And they give me this like puppy dog look of please get me out of this. I'm like, nope. Oh, I did that. We have, like, our little Friday role play. I'm a goblin rogue.

And I was like, all right. But I was, like, reading the, I was, like, looking at emails. I was doing some shit like that. And then they're like, stick grot, what do you do? And I was like, attack. And they're like, why? And I'm like, oh, no, just fucking attack. So I attack.

And I ended up doing, like, 20 points of damage and killing the thing. And they're like, ah, no, just fucking attack. So I attack, and I ended up doing like 20 points of damage and killing the thing. They were like, wow, that happened. I was like, there you go. Anyway. Where was I? Back to this email. Yeah, back to the email. No, I don't want your shitty product. So what else have you

been doing? What else have you been up to? Uh, well, let's see. I've been building more Warhammer. I believe that, yeah. That's been going great. Getting a lot done. Has Toast gotten tired of you? Is she over it?

No, she's been playing Animal Crossing. Ah, all right. She's trying to escape in her own way. I did my Banjo-Kazooie mega stream that my internet cut out. And then I had to play it the next day. And then I had to record. So I had to stop that. So it was actually like a three-day long stream.

And it was actually slower than my last run. So it made me kind of upset. But I still finished it faster than my previous run that I did before that. Does that make sense? I cannot. There are only a certain few hours that I can stream during the day. Right now, if I try to stream,

I get frame drops and all sorts of crazy things going on. I'm not sure why. And I think it's because everyone in LA is like, I guess I'm a streamer now. I don't know. It's terrible. Only early morning or late at night does my streaming actually allow me to do anything. Maybe it's my apartment.

I have no idea what's going on. The guys who live next door to me, I think, are like, I don't know what they are. They, at maybe 8 or 9 o'clock at night, I think they wake up and they stay up all night. And they move furniture. And I hear them yelling, I think, maybe at each other. I'm not sure. And then they go up on the roof and I'm like, what the hell is happening? It doesn't bother me because I can sleep through anything, so it's not a big deal. But it's crazy that sometimes we'll be watching TV and it's like 11.30 at night

and I hear like, coming through the wall. I'm like, what the hell? Who is that? What are they doing? 3 a.m. Same thing. I still hear them. And I'm like, who are these people?

What are they doing? I just want answers. It doesn't bother me. I'm not going to be like, hey, keep it down. Because Lord knows if I'm recording a thing in here, I'm probably like, right? Yeah. But I really need to know what they're doing. I just don't know what it is.

Why is that their schedule? I have so many questions because they don't look like streamer dudes. They look like IT guys. Yeah. So I have questions. I have questions. It's worrisome. I don't know what's going on, but I want to know.

Yeah. It's one of those things where I realize there's a lot of extroverted people that go out constantly. And now they're just trapped inside being like, oh, I do. And me, I'm just like, oh, man, now I'm living like I'm 23 again. It's like, don't leave the house. I'm like, I guess I'll leave today. But like now. I can't live like I'm 23.

I can't do it. If I did that, I would die. I would die. 23, it if I did that you would I would die I would die 23 I man I did nothing I went to class and then literally played 15 hours of Final Fantasy 11 that's the thing it's like now I'm like buff door so like the gym's closed I can't go to the gym my trainer there was like hey I can send you some workouts to do at home. And I'm like, that'd be great. But like, I've just, I've done like two workouts of like 20 minutes each where I'm just like doing some free weights. I got like five and 10 pound free weights. So I like alternate with those based on what I'm doing, but it's not the same.

You know what I mean? It's kind of like how some people like go into an office to work versus like you know working at home it's kind of like that like i want to go to the gym to work out when i work out at home it just doesn't feel as good i i'll say i think maybe this quarantine is like the best thing for me because i have you know i have an elliptical in my apartment yeah so because i can't go anywhere I've been using it a lot lately. Because I'm so bored. I'm like, I guess I'll just get on it. And so I want everyone to know, if I come

out at the end of this, whenever they let us out again, and I am a sex god, I want you to know, I will share the wealth. Okay. Okay. It's like, Here's the thing All people have to do

Is just stay home And don't do anything That's all you have to do And people are still messing it up They're still messing it up I think it goes against human nature Like the guys next to me Who out of nowhere just became night owls

I think Humans want against human nature. Like the guys next to me who out of nowhere just became night owls. I think humans want to congregate around people. Even if we don't want to actually be with them, we like the idea that we can if we want to. And now you're being told, no, do not go meet people. Do not hang out with people. Do not go socialize with your friends. And so I wonder if people just cannot accept that. Because even today, there are people who are out and about at farmer's markets and flower thing.

It's just crazy. Why? But, you know, screw me. At some point this week, I have to go to the grocery store so yeah we went like uh there's like a few 24-hour stores so we went to uh one of those and we went like 2 30 a.m i was like this is like the best time to go it's like 10 people there there was in fact like maybe like 13 people there and we like stocked up got out and was like, all right, don't have to do this for another week and a half. I can't do that. My grocery stores near me, most of them keep their normal hours,

but the 24-hour one near me out front has a sign that says open 8 to 8. I'm like, get out of town. Which is dumb. It's like, don't you want people coming in when there's less people? I think they're doing it because people are going in late at night and you know how they restock right people are going in at i don't know 4 a.m and taking everything yeah and so when i went there was people restocking but like nobody was taking everything i think the panic calmed down yeah i've i've been waiting to go in the morning one day i'm like all right i'll go

in the morning and we'll go from there so i think probably tomorrow morning i'll go in and try to get some you know like veggies and things yeah actual not frozen food that's what i stacked up i got oranges and bananas my top top two keys. Orange bananas. Orange, glad I didn't say banana. No. Because I love bananas. But yeah, honestly, aside from not being able to go to the gym, I've been fine. I'm getting a little stir-crazy because I like the idea of being able to go places,

but I thought about it, and really I'm doing nothing different than I usually do. Yeah. I'm just like, but what if I want to go get like a sandwich? I can't even go get a sandwich. Yeah. That sucks. I have to make a sandwich. It's like, what a dumb problem to have.

Yeah. That's like, it's kind of how I was initially last week. That's why my anxiety was really high. Now my anxiety is like practically gone. That's because you got Animal Crossing and I need to get on this train. Exactly. You got to hop on. I will say, I don't know if it's because I'm eating differently or maybe it's because when I'm eating, because my hours are all screwed up.

Like I, I'm waking up later I am Eating later in the day It's just weird stuff And so I keep having very vivid dreams Like very vivid dreams And I had one the other night that was terrifying I was in the shower

And my shower You know how it has like glass sliding Door thingies yeah something was on the other side of the showers i was taking a shower it was banging to like let itself in and then broke through the glass and attacked me and i woke up with a yo in my bed i startled myself awake it was like what the hell was that dream yeah. I've been having some vivid dreams lately. Oh, my God. That reminds me.

I had a dream where, you know how people always have a dream where they're getting chased by a monster or something? Sure. In this dream, I was the monster chasing people. Terrifying. I think that means that you're afraid of yourself. I think that's what it means. Maybe. Because you're the monster and you're chasing people

You're afraid that people will be terrified of you Or maybe you're terrified that you will hurt someone And you see yourself as a monster Shit Yeah, that's an easy one Look at that, that's easy But I think that's kind of having fun So it's like, woo, I'm the monster

And people are like, ah Well maybe you see yourself as a monster And you would enjoy hurting others I don't know, maybe you see yourself as a monster and you would enjoy hurting others. I don't know. Maybe you are a monster. I don't know either. Yeah, dreams are crazy. Honestly, sleeping's been all right for me.

Everything has been too bad. I mean, the biggest thing is just the gym. But now that I've started working out at home, it's not as bad. I get my exercise, but I just want more. I was at the point, I was building up my bench press. When I first started bench pressing, I could barely lift 50 pounds.

I could barely do more than the bar. Now, I was at 10 reps of 80, and then I do 10 reps of 85, and I was working my way up, not getting a bench press. We all have to make sacrifices you have to give up your bench presses i had to shave it's it's a dark time for all of us i i saw on tv they were like you know the best way to ensure you don't get it is if you have

facial hair trim that down a bunch because facial hair problems or whatever i'm like is this real so i went online i shouldn't have done it i looked it up and it was like oh yes facial hair problems or whatever i'm like is this real so i went online i shouldn't have done it i looked it up and it was like oh yes facial hair gets you really sick i'm like wait what yeah yeah yeah the more beard you have the more chance you are to get sick with different diseases i'm like oh no so i'm never gonna get rid of the beard i you know but i did like instead of going with a nine on the beard trimmer i went with a two and so i am like all i look like a baby i almost look like a baby with like stubble oh it's wild then i got a haircut and was like take me down all the way i don't know when i'm

gonna be able to get another haircut so just start cutting and so hey when they went i am a different human being right now you You know what I look like? I look like that first photo of us that is from, like, 2011 when it's you and I at BlizzCon. I look like that photo where I look like just a tween. I look terrible. I'm like, oh, I look awful. So, yeah, that's me. I look bad.

I feel bad. I'm out of caffeine. I have no caffeine. So I'm just, it's water and tea. And I'm losing my mind. Dude, I bought like a hundred pack of chamomile tea. And I bought a bunch of peppermint tea because I like that. Thankfully, I have more tea than any human being who ever

lived. I have so much tea in my cupboards and I never, I was like, man, when am I going to get time to drink this? Tea requires like, you know, at least a good five minute prep. So I never, I was just like, I can go to the fridge and just get a drink. And so now I have all this free time. I'm just making tea and it's fine. But I be lying if i said i you know i miss a good anything else right tea and water fine but i'd even settle for a crappy juice right now i'm just i'm in a bad place i'm like all right i'm gonna hold off another day before i have to go to the grocery store hopefully people will have calmed down and won't be like 8,000 grandmas. So if I am carrying it, then I won't get a grandma sick. Like that kind of thing.

Oh, yeah. I'm trying my hardest. But one of these days I'm going to. I had a bunch of alcohol. I did a St. Patrick's Day stream. And it was literally just me getting rid of the booze. Like the one-off alcohols that were in my fridge from events from the past year. And I was like, does this go bad?

Oh, well, drink. And so now I don't even have alcohol in my fridge. I have hard liquors, but I'm not going to be that person who's like, I guess I'll break out the vodka. Like, you don't need to do that. It's not like that bad. Plus, I need to save it for wounds. Technically, that's 40% alcohol I need like a 60%

Well I have tequila And I have all sorts of stuff One of those has to be good enough Yeah What was I going to say Ah jeez Oh yeah alcohol I got two bottles of wine

And I have had no urge to even drink them. Because, well, first off, they're from a wine company I got. Because one of the viewers I had was like, yo, get some wine from this company. Because it was watermelon wine. And I tried that. And I was like, ugh. Like, after, it just tasted like Jolly Rancher wine. And I did not like it.

But then I was like, oh, well, well i gotta get more wine for the free shipping so i just threw some more wine in there and now i got like it's like shadow blueberry wine and like uh some cabernet that you have to try these yeah well the one i tried it said it was the drop one of the driest ones they had it was still sweet I was like this isn't dry wine. This is sweet wine. It's good So this one is supposed to be like a fancy fancier dry wine they had so I'm saving these for like When I really need wine, I'm like all right When you are desperate yeah break it open Well, I have a bunch of wine sitting around here that I'm just like well

I guess I should get to the problem is this all wine that my parents gave me because they just didn't want anymore it open well i have a bunch of wine sitting around here that i'm just like well i guess i should get to the problem is it's all wine that my parents gave me because they just didn't want anymore so i don't know if that means they're bad wines or they are wines that are so good my parents are like save this for a special day because they're all like 2005 vintage shit like that and like okay so I don't know. I have no clue. They're just sitting in a cupboard somewhere. I'm like, all right, I guess.

If I wanted to, I could drink this, but I don't know. I'm not a big, like, by myself alcohol drinker. Yeah. I have to do it either with people or on a stream so I can pretend people are there. Yeah. I feel that. You're just like a social drinker. I am.

Once you turn me loose, i'm a wild animal but uh other than that i'm at home a tamed beast a tamed beast it sucks being at home sucks hey yeah no all right well you know if you're stuck at home and you're struggling online trying to find stuff to buy so you don't have to go out as much, well, you might as well sweeten it up. And that's a dumb segue into talking about honey. Online shopping is supposed to be easy, y'all. But it's hard to find coupons that actually work because they always change. You know, the internet, you could look up a coupon and then it will straight up just be like five years old.

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All right. Imagine you're shopping at one of your favorite sites like Target or Best Buy or eBay, Walmart, wherever, you know, trying to get toilet paper. And when you check out, this little box drops down and it's like, oh, would you like to apply coupons? Click it. Wait a few seconds for it to scan everything on the internet. Every single promo code. Boom. Those prices are going to drop. They're going to drop big time.

Last time I used it, I used it for, and this is, shout out to Logitech for being insane. Just insane. So Logitech introduced a new camera. And it is a camera designed specifically for streamers, right? And so it does that, you know that new thing the Apple iPhone does when it takes photos? Why do they call it the Apple iPhone? Who am I? But you know how it does, what is that called?

Not panorama, portrait mode. Yeah, portrait mode. The new camera that Logitech has is supposed to do that. I'm like, all right, sounds good. I'll give it a shot because my old Logitech camera, it is, you know, it's several years old. And I'm like, I'll try this new thing. I get it.

The USB connector is that new USB-C, that little tiny one, not a normal USB 3 or whatever. And so there is nothing on my computer this connects to. Not a damn thing. I was looking around my house like, what does this connect to? What do they think it does not work? And so I had to go online and order a C to three connector, like a little knobby thing, put on my honey coupon codes. I got that thing for basically $3. It was great. I was like, oh,

so if you want to get deals like that, that was a long way to like, oh! So, if you want to get deals like that, that was a long way to get to that story, but if you want to get to deals like that, if you want to save money on things like that, Honey's the way to do it. It has over 18 million members with over $2 billion in savings. Honey supports 30,000, actually over 30,000 stores. They're adding more every day. They have a hundred thousand five-star reviews on the Google Chrome store. Not using honey is literally passing up free money. It's free to use installs in two clicks, get honey for free at join honey.com slash Cox. That's joinoney.com slash cox. That's joinhoney.com slash cox. All right, Crandor, let's go to chapter 7 of the Scath.

Crandor is a traffic elder. Hello, everybody. Traffic is nonexistent. Everybody's staying inside unless, oh, wait. Oh, it looks like Florida, of course. There's a bunch of people in Florida driving around. And on the beaches and spring breaking. Wow, who would have thought Florida of all the places would be the one to mess things up.

That's crazy. Never would have thought that would be the case. Back to you. Thanks, Grendor. Yeah, Florida. Oh, Florida. What is going on with you? I can't even.

It's not surprising. If I do meth, I don't care. Oh, my God. Hold on. Hold on. I need to find this for you. All right. There's a hashtag that's been trending for a while called Shut Down Florida.

That's one of them. But there's another one that was, yeah, Ron DeSantis is their governor, and he's a real treat. was, yeah, Ron DeSantis is their governor, and he's a real treat. But he posted a thing that was, Floridians are resilient. This is posted on the 20th. This is not going to be easy, but we'll get through this together. And then he posted an image that's like, we're Florida strong. Doesn't matter. The guy immediately below him, who is definitely a character, says,

Do not shut down the state like New York and California. We in Florida will not tolerate living in a police state. We handle alligators and hurricanes regularly. We can handle a virus. That is quintessential Florida man. That is what you imagine Florida man would say. That is definitely. Everyone replied to him like, are you kidding me?

What are you talking about? He's just like, nope. That is definitely a representation of Florida. On March 21st, he retweeted Senator Rand Paul, my prescription for combating coronavirus crisis. And it's an article that he posted on The Hill, which is him just being like, don't react too much to this. You guys are crazy.

Don't worry about it. Right? Just use common sense. Today, Rand Paul announced that he has coronavirus. Yep, that sounds about right. Oh, God. It's like, come on. Just stay inside.

Just stay inside. That's all you gotta do. I think it's just a power complex type of thing. Like, yeah, it won't happen to me. Of course. Of course it is. It's the same thing when people are out and they're like, I'm not gonna get sick.

I'm healthy. It's like, yeah, but it's not about you. The whole point of being inside is it's not about you. That's the point. It's like you're doing it so that those people who will get sick don't get sick. Yeah, you're doing it so like immunocompromised and, you know, people, older people and people that are more susceptible to having serious cases of it don't have to actually deal with it or asthma or pneumonia and all that stuff.

Cause people like a, a 90% of the cases you just get some, it's mild. And it's like, yeah, but that's cause the other 10% you're like spreading it to them and they have problems. So it's like,

just, just be a person that cares about other people. That's all you gotta do. Again, let me just say for the record, even if you don't get sick, if you have it, you can still transmit it to someone.

And if they get sick, even if they don't die, even if it's just they have a hard time breathing, if they go to the hospital, which we're already down beds for, if they go to the hospital, which we're already down respirators for, doctors and nurses don't have masks,

all that stuff. If they go to the hospital and take them to bed, let's say you, Johnny, I don't get sick, get in a car crash, or you fall down the stairs and you need to go to the hospital. You can't. There's no place for you. What's the biggest thing? People aren't even just dying from that.

They're dying because the hospital's overloaded, and you have something like a heart attack, and then they're like, yep, we're overloaded. So, you know yeah no one it i will say this it's become incredibly easy to tell who self-centered people are oh yeah you're like oh all right i know you're i know who you are okay i don't deal with you anymore yeah oh it's become very easy that's the traffic yeah what's going on with the weather weather time weather time weather time also every time i go to weather.com

they're just showing shit like experts say lockdowns aren't enough to control it's like all right i get it weather.com you're just trying to like blow shit out of proportion so you get people coming to see the weather more often well Well, I mean, now lockdowns aren't enough. Oh, yeah, but that's the point. I want to see this from weather.com. I want to see the weather. Top four things on weather.com. It's like lockdowns aren't enough.

Earthquake hits. Surveillance spots people going in a circle on bikes or some shit and falling through the ice. Wait, what? There's like some guy riding a bike. Why is that on weather? Hold on. That's what I'm saying. Why is weather.com?

Why is weather.com? Also, that is really creepy. Surveillance spots, her scary plunge. And then there's like... Whoa, that girl just fell. That's wild. Whatever. Here's the thing.

I don't give a shit. I come here because I don't want to read these things help global crisis. Here's the thing. I don't give a shit. I don't... I come here because I don't want to read these things. We're literally there for the weather. I want to see if it's gonna rain tomorrow. This is the problem I have. This is why I've, like, limited my Twitter and my media consumption or whatever. Because I know it's the YouTube thing, where, like, you go on YouTube, people are just...

They're spam-making videos of, like, top 10 ways you can fight power disease. Crazy shit's happening, blah, blah. They're not going to be like, today, a lot of people that were sick got better. And things seem to be looking up a little bit. It's always just like, death and destruction's coming. Keep posting to our site so you don't die. And you're like, ah, shit. It's the crazy fear mongering that I hate about it.

Oh, I'm with you. I go on Twitter now for – I go in the morning when I wake up. I scroll through. I post like one or two tweets. And then unless I have something to promote, I'm out. Or unless I see like a funny thing in the morning to retweet, I can't go back. It upsets me so much. I even posted about it. People on Twitter suck.

I've turned off the news. I don't watch the news anymore. I'm like, I know what I need to do. That's the thing. It's like they've got nothing else to talk about, so they just keep looping it over and over. And while they loop it over and over, they make more and more money. So it's like, hey, why wouldn't we do this? So I get why they're doing it. It's just you're going to run your brain

into the ground. Just keep consuming all this. You're going to It's just you're going to run your brain into the ground. Just keep consuming all this. You're going to go insane. You're going to die from anxiety and stress. Seriously, no thanks. And this is absolutely true what I'm about to say. Stress reduces your ability to withstand things like viruses. It actively can hurt you.

So the more stressed you are about the virus, the more chance you have of getting it. Just go for a walk. Don't get near people. Just play some Animal Crossing. All right. Hit us with that weather. Weather time. Let's go to T.

A. L. Tal. A. weather time let's go to t a l tal hey uh talas kiaisiri province turkey that's not i that's not where i thought we were gonna end up where do you think we were going tallahassee oh uh i saw that and then i kept going all right okay what if i type in this and then bam here we are uh all right well take us away where we are palos case area province turkey 30 degrees feels like 27 today high of 52 degrees that's not too bad uh zero percent uh chance of rain 58 percent humidity you got a six out of ten on the uv index uh sun's rising at 6 30 setting at 652 you got tonight 31 degrees uh tuesday 54 degrees tuesday 32 degrees. And it looks like it's going to be pretty much like that the whole week. And then Saturday, you get some showers hitting in, 53, 49, 49.

You get a couple rainy days and then back to partly cloudy but into the high 50s. So, hey, look at that. Turkey is actually pretty similar weather to here. Who would have thought? Turkey. Good pause. Turkey. Turkey.

All right. And sports. Sports. Actually, before we do sports. Okay. We, you know what? We both agreed Tom Brady would stay with the Patriots, and we were both wrong. Did I?

Part of me thought he was going to leave. No, I was like, Tom Brady's going to stay with the Patriots, and we were both wrong. Did I? Part of me thought he was going to leave. No, I was like, Tom Brady's going to stay with the Patriots. I'm like, yeah. I'm going to hold you to this one. I might have just said that passively while not listening to you. That's probably true, but here. On the record, so you agreed with me. Well, on my football podcast, we went over it, and I was like,

I think he might leave. And that's documented of two months ago with my football podcast. Well, it wasn't this podcast. The crossover audience is not that big. Sinvicta's very happy. He's a Bucs fan. And Tom Brady going to the Bucs, and Sinvicta was like, Well, if a season happens, this will be great.

It won't. Because of the other big news. Minshew Mania. He's the starting QB now. Yeah, he's the starting QB in Jacksonville. They traded Nick Foles to the Bears. Get him out of there.

He's over here in Chicago now. He can have fun. Minshew Mania. Minshew Mania is ready to get going down in Jacksonville I'm ready, I'm ready, whenever we have football again I can't wait So yeah, and then aside from those big free agent signings

And football and stuff, that's pretty much sports They're going to be doing the NFL draft next month But they're going to be doing it from, not Vegas They're going to be doing the NFL draft next month, but they're going to be doing it from not Vegas. They're going to be doing it from hotel rooms or something. I don't know. Like office rooms. I've been thinking about this all week. Poor XFL.

All those players, all those guys, this was their last chance at success, and the XFL was kind of kicking off and people were getting into it, and they had a whole season ahead of it, and they're like, well, it's over. It's so, I feel for them. I really do. And apparently they can sign with NFL teams is what they said. Sure.

At least that's not going to happen. Most of them aren't going to. Yeah. I was about to say, there's a reason they're in the XFL. Yeah. All right, Crandor, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the big news story of the big news story of the day. Somebody sample that and make us a jingle.

It's like, big news story, big news story. This is a huge news story, according to, it's everywhere. Okay. Florida man arrested, charged with stealing 66 rolls of toilet paper from hotel I'd be lying if I said if I didn't think about that like I definitely was like Do you think people are just going to hotels and stealing toilet paper? No doubt A Florida man has arrested Thursday and charged with stealing 66 rolls of toilet paper from a Marriott in Orlando He is not on a roll

paper from a Marriott in Orlando he is not on a roll police say angel Hernandez Zinto was spotted a spotted by security guard early Thursday morning placing a trash bag in his van guard was curious why someone would put a bag of trash in their own vehicle so he peeked inside so i was full of toilet paper it's valued at 99 cents a roll though its true value may be much higher given the uh scarcity scarcity scarcity during the coronavirus pandemic first well time out time out right there's no way hotel toilet paper is 99 cents a roll oh yeah no there's no way i refuse to believe that. Yeah, I don't think so either. He told the police he planned to give it to a woman he knew who was poor and unemployed. He said he wanted to help the woman

and her family. He was then charged with theft from public lodging establishment and a felony. He wouldn't be the first one to steal something from a hotel. Also, he was definitely going to use that. He was hoarding it. There's no way he knew a family

that needed it. Get out of town. That guy was like, assuming all the toilet paper will be mine. Yeah, he's definitely hoarding it. I went online the other day because I too was like, I wonder, did they finally deliver toilet paper again? Because I don't want to go out and get it.

And I'm definitely getting down to the point where I actually went on a website that counts how many days you have left of toilet paper. You tell it what rolls you have and how many you have, and it's like, all right, so how often do you use it? And then it gives you an amount of days left. And so I was like, you have nine days of toilet paper left. And I was like, oh, damn, I got to get some more. So I've been going online and looking up kind of, you know, what prices are and if any are available. And for the most part, none are available.

I'm like, I can wait. I'm in no rush. But I did see there was on eBay selling toilet paper for like $40. That's insane. Yes. Look, no one needs it that bad. Paper towels work. Rags work.

If you need to take a shower, you can take a shower. It's fine. No one's judging you. Trust me. That's the thing. I think we talked about it last week. It's like you you just take a shower you can just you can literally you're gonna be you're not going anywhere so like there you go

like that's that should be like the least of your worries it's it's very strange the the i think the bigger worry is sanitizing things and and people buying i saw this one guy who bought four crates of Clorox wipes. Jesus. I was like, why do you need four crates? And people were giving him hell and he's like, I sanitize frequently. I'm like, you're just an asshole. Yeah.

You didn't need four crates. Yeah, like I've had, I bought like two, what do you call them, the Clorox wipe things like two months ago before this all started and i'm i still have them i same i have one that's like coconut scented and i was like oh this smells like oh it smells like pineapples and coconut and i've been using that for a month and a half so and you know me i'm like a crazy person i'm like all right i'll wipe and so yeah there's no way you need that many.

Yeah. I even used one to wipe down all the groceries and stuff we bought. I don't know where those stockers were. So I was just wiping them down anyway. Like, screw it. And I still got like a billion left. So you don't need you don't need crates. Stop hoarding. Don't make me

have to send you that picture of that old lady at the grocery store with nothing on the shelves and she's like oh, I'm so sad. Don't make me send you send you that picture of that old lady at the grocery store with nothing on the shelves, and she's like, oh, I'm so sad. Don't make me send you that. It's going to make you feel terrible that you stole that stuff from that old lady. This old lady who's just like, there's nothing here for me. Remember that face, that sad old lady face. You did that.

You must have thwarted a man, and you shove her down and steal her toilet paper and run away, and then go like, oh, but I knew the person I was giving it to. My hip. Look, she doesn't need it. Yeah, she's on her way out anyway. So yeah, just don't be a dick. Yeah, don't be a dick. Those are the rules.

Treat people well. Don't be a dick. Stop going to the grocery store and taking all the lunch meat. I watched a dude get five pounds of lunch meat. Jesus. But it wasn't like one pound of turkey and one pound of ham. It was literally five pounds of the same. He should have just got the slab of meat and taken it with him and cut it himself at that point.

To be fair, there is probably aago meatball that will put that much on their sandwich like you need at least a half pound you're gonna make a real sandwich can i tell you what uh no names i have a friend who one time i saw him make a sandwich. I've never seen him make a sandwich before. Right. And he made a sandwich, and it was like, I've never, it was, it was, it's like a man who had never eaten a sandwich before. You know how little kids, when you say, okay, make a sandwich, and they just put whatever they can on it?

It was like that, except he's like 35. This is definitely Alex or Davis. I just can't decide which one. No, I'm not no names it was crazy I've never seen him make a sandwich Before but it didn't even look like a sandwich By the time it was done it was like 84 slices of meat and cheese

And then two little slivers of bread I was like what the hell It was crazy Yeah me I'm like if I put Four pieces of meat on this Sandwich is that too much Meat and then I get the Me, I'm like, if I put four pieces of meat on this sandwich, is that too much meat? And then I get the sandwich and I'm like, this is too bready. Oh, well, I'll keep eating it.

Yeah, mine are very proportionate as well. I like my proportionate sandwiches. If I go to one of those delis where like, we stack up your pastrami, I'll literally open up the sandwich and eat the pastrami until it becomes a sandwich the size of what I can normally eat. I feel that. That's what I do, too. I'm like, I'm not trying to unhinge my jaw to eat your thing.

I'm going to proportionally make a sandwich that is perfect for my mouth, and I will eat around all the other things you brought me. Where are you, baby? You got to unhinge my jaw every day. I'm like a snake, see? Honestly. Probably could be. Where am I? Oh, yeah.

We're at the end of the... That's the show. That's the show. All right. Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much. We will see you all next week with another episode. Crendor, hit them with the socials.

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Just search coxandcrendor. Also, tell your friends, family, they're probably looking for something to listen to. They're bored. Just show them the show. Show them the animations. Be like, wow, this is funny and goofy. And then bada bing, bada boom. Have them sign up for all our sponsorships. Except

the blue apron from a while ago can't do that anymore yeah all right well that's it thank you again we back and as always to be continued Mute.