Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 238 - Crendor's New Mind Powers

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

It's time for an all new Cox n' Crendor! The boys are back and their making their way through quarantine the best way they know how - BUT LEARNING HOW TO CONTROL MINDS!!! That's right, Crendor has officially become a threat to us all! He needs to be stopped or his mutant mind powers will take over the world!!! Now support our sponsors :P To get your 15% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to http:// meundies.com/crendor Get Honey for FREE at http://joinhoney.com/COX

Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies are the undies I have on me. Actually, I got pink ones on right now. Also, I got raccoons. You have raccoons? We have switched realities. Although, I guess pink is pretty loud, so I'm fine with it. That's true.

I have raccoons. I just imagine you just have an actual raccoon wrapped around you. His name is Frederick. It's been a wild time since we've been indoors. Also today we're brought to you by Honey. If you're trying to buy anything online, and you probably are, now is the time to use Honey. It's going to save you all that money. It rhymes with honey.

I'm going to keep just thinking about that now because I wasn't trying to do it, but now everything I say is going to be like, save that money, use that honey. All right, let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Cax and Crandor in the morning.

Quarantine, day 47. My mind deteriorates at a rapid rate. I believe it. Really, it's just my muscles. Are you falling apart? Are you atrophying? So I was good for a while, but I've hit that point where like five days ago, I just drove by the gym just to do it. It's starting to crack me, dude.

I imagine as you did, you played whatever the saddest song you had available at the time. No, I played loud wub wubs. Of course. Right, right. And I actually did. And I was like, this is the song I'm going to play when I go back in. This will be my pump-up jam.

I can't wait for your first day back at the gym. I don't know what's going to happen. I think you're going to overdo it. I think you're going to go too hard. Oh, probably. You're going to go too hard, or you're going to be like, We're going to have to get you help. Yeah.

It's going to be a crazy time, whether I go too hard and strain my whole body or just have a good time. But I just can't wait for that day. When do you think that day is going to be? Give me a call. When do you foresee being able to go back to the gym? Well, it's tricky because there's people that are like, oh, we'll start reopening things on may 1st but there's also people that are like no we got to go till the end of may and then there's people being like well we can reopen some things with some like you know uh some like restrictions right so what i think

will happen is like maybe they'll reopen gyms but they'll have like only certain amount of people can go in at a time no locker room stuff like stuff like that. So there's going to be – I think that's what they'll start with. I think gyms might be the last thing. Gyms might be the last thing to be reopened. Maybe gyms and libraries. Places where people touch everything. Because a gym isn't just about distancing. It's you touch a machine, then someone immediately touches that machine.

And then someone after that touches that machine. Yeah, but they have like wipes and stuff. I get you. I'm just saying. That sounds like something a lot of people, especially if I'm, like, I don't know, LA Fitness or whatever I am. I don't want to be, like, responsible for all that. I think if they do, if it's a gym, they have to, like, they'll have to do things like that. Like, make sure they have, like, supplies and everything. And like that like make sure they have like the supplies and

everything if they don't they can't reopen like that's that's the tricky thing is like making sure places have stuff like that and like being like all right you're good to go uh otherwise they'll just be like yeah we got supplies and then they really don't like how do you know i don't know yeah that's and that's why i'm every time someone's like oh yeah end of may should be i think that's probably it. I'm like, that's not happening. I know everyone is so excited. We're almost through this, guys.

Just keep going. And I'm like, this is more of a marathon than a sprint. I mean, we're getting to the point where people are going to start going insane. They're already going insane. Here's the thing. Let are going to start going insane. They're already going insane. I, here's the thing. Let me reiterate. Let me reiterate.

All you have to do is nothing. Yeah. Let me just reiterate this. It's like, you know, people can still work and stuff are doing fine. It's the people that like can't work that are going crazy. So a lot of people that can't pay rent,

they can't pay bills. They can't pay bills. They're doing all these things. And I think those are the people are starting to cracks. Like, what do I got to lose? My life's over. Well, that's why it blows my mind that there's no, I see other countries around the world and they're like, here, citizens have some money. And we're like, eh, $1,200 should tide you over for the year, which is crazy.

I feel like, I don't know, maybe, maybe I'm a commie or some shit, but I feel like people should get, just get money from the government because we're, it's one of those, we're all in this together kind of things.

And then all the companies that are like, we make cars should start making masks. And then they already are making masks though then make tests i don't know there's so much stuff we need the way we beat it is if everyone's like all right we're in this together then we can all have our masks on and then go to the gym with masks and stuff or whatever i don't know i feel like we're doing it half we're like doing a very half-assed job of this oh probably that's america we do half-ass job of this. Oh, probably. That's America. We do half-ass everything. Remember that Simpsons where

Mary Bobbins or whatever the Mary Poppins character was comes and then they sweep all of their trash up under the bed and it makes the room look clean and then Bart's like, that's the American way. That is how I view this.

We are just barely trying and we're like we're doing it everyone but it is there's so much more we can do but everyone's like that sounds like work well the biggest thing i think is just testing because once you start testing i'd like i've watched like some stuff because once you start testing that's what south korea mainly did that's the way you can like you know be like okay that person has it that person doesn't quarantine that person that person's okay to go out and when you do that on a mass scale then you're good because we don't have tests that's the problem is we don't have well yeah that's the issue the other issue is the tests we do have aren't as reliable so some people could be false positives some could be false

negatives there's also reports like 30 to 50% of the like things are asymptomatic. So there's like a bunch of people that just have had it anyway. Like it's, it's crazy. I think that's what's so confusing about it is how unpredictable and wonky it is. I know we talked about this before, but I'm starting to hear people on TV talk about this now and I don't, and they all say the same thing. So I'm going to say the same thing. We have no evidence.

This is just what people have said, but a lot of people are talking about how they know a person or they themselves have a family member who last year had all the symptoms of this and they're like, maybe it was spreading around

then as well. Oh, I mean mean it's definitely been here since last year without a doubt like i would i would probably say since like maybe like november maybe even like september or no probably october from everything i've seen too so i mean there's definitely people like international travel like going all over and things i'm still like did i have some form of it when I was in Disneyland for Chinese New Year? And I don't know. We don't know until we can test stuff.

That's what it boils down to. Yeah, you're right. It really boils down to that. We just need information on a mass scale, and we just don't have it. So everyone's like, I don't know. Yeah. That's one of those things is we talked about before. Definitely want to get the antibody test. But I found out that apparently if you want to get tested for it, you have to take one test.

Then I think it was either 24 or 48 or so however many hours later, you take another test to verify. And so they're like, you need at least two tests no matter what. And people are just like, okay, so where are the tests? Man, that's what I'm saying. I feel like we need everyone and their brother to just be like, all right, we're changing up how we're doing stuff, and we'll get this done. But again, it's the American way to be like, eh, we'll figure it out. Don't worry. Figure it out.

Don't worry. The problem, too, is I see people or a lot of places reporting new cases. But new cases are just confirmed cases. Not really new. It's just saying, oh, this person had it. Yeah, we finally got around to testing this person. Yeah. So, I mean, there's plenty of cases that aren't confirmed.

It's just crazy. I don't know. Listen, I just want to go lift some weights. And whenever I can do that, I'll happy that's all i want if i gotta wear a hazmat suit so be it so what are you doing right now what's going on in your life are you just cleaning stuff over and over again yeah just cleaning everything over and over and then i'm like up windows could use some washing all right might as well reorganize this again i did i did it last week but i might have missed something you know and then i'm playing old gamecube games that's been fun has it on my nintendo wii our our old game everyone here's the thing i never owned a gamecube and the reason I never did. The reason why is because I never thought it looked fun.

I'm not even going to lie. I never owned one. N64 was the last time. My video game career went Super Nintendo. God, what came first, PlayStation or N64? I think PlayStation. Whatever the case. I had PlayStation and N64.

PlayStation whatever the case I had PlayStation and n64 and then I went PlayStation 2 3 Whatever that Xbox was and then you know YouTube started So I was like I have every console now cuz it's for business purposes, but like PlayStation was 94 the end of 94 and Six Nintendo is 96. I didn't i didn't do anything with nintendo for some time like i had a i had a a wii u but i never owned a wii i never had a gamecube never had any of those it game keeps great it's a lot of great games on gamecube i never thought they looked i'll be real i always maybe it's because of who i was at the time but you know when you're in that like teen thing oh yeah i was like

they look like kiddie games oh i i was not a fan i was like i want my games to be like sexy chicks who slaughter demons right i don't i was uh not a fan gamecube did not impress me like i had uh I was not a fan. GameCube did not impress me. Like I had Animal Crossing, of course. Yeah, it doesn't impress me. Super Smash Bros. Melee. Does not impress me.

Super Mario Sunshine. No, hard pass. Mario Party 4. No, never played it. Mario Golf Toadstool Tour. Nope, I don't even know what that is. Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door? Nope. I like how it rhymes, but no, I've never played it.

And you're about to make the internet even angrier. Here's the thing. I don't care. What are they going to do? Be like, you haven't played this 20-year-old game? I'm not going to play it now. No, I'm going to yell at you. You should play this 20-year-old game.

You'd probably love it. It's like a Mario RPG game. I already played Mario RPG back in the 90s. But it's like that but better. I don't know. You don't know because you've never played it. Touché. Pikmin.

No, that looked boring. The Legend of Zelda Wind Waker. No. Striking out. I watched someone play that on a stream once. The Legend of Zelda Wind Waker Uh No I watched someone play that on a stream once Yeah And I figured I got everything I needed from it That's how I am With like most modern games

I saw the story and was like alright Well that seemed fine It's no Ocarina but okay That's how I am with most modern games I tried to play the Ocarina of Time And and I got halfway through, and I couldn't go any further. Here's the thing. It's unplayable now. People who play it, I'm like, God bless you.

You are heroes. At the time, amazing. Now, it reminds me of one of my favorite games of all time, Vagrant Story. Incredible game, incredible story. It's like a mystery. And the last hour might be the best hour of video game in the history of gaming. Here's the thing. At the time, super fun.

Now, unplayable. I tried to go back and play it. The controls are so convoluted. Dude, the jump and the attack button are the same button. It's like when I went back to play TIE Fighter. I redownloaded TIE Fighter. Loved that game. Every button on your keyboard is used almost.

It is so convoluted. It's like, okay, well, you have 18 speed speed settings and it takes up all these keys i'm like what the hell to also have to manage your shields i'm like oh this would not fly today this is this is some bullshit so yeah i understand it i get it it's kind of like a final fantasy like i've never been into final fantasy and i still can't get into it it's just not my kind of game sure i totally get that jrpGs in general are like... But I can see why it's good. You have to really want to just turn your brain off and listen to dialogue that's like,

find the key within your heart, and only then will you unlock the 12 magi. You have to really want to get in that zone, or else you will be like, what the hell? Oh, yeah. Like Sam was playing, and I was like, hey, everybody, would I like this game? I don't like JRPGs. And they were like, oh, yeah, it's a great one. Play it. And I was like, the main character feels like an anime protagonist, is he?

And they were like, no, no, no. And Sam was like, no, dude. Like, he's definitely, like, it's different. And I started playing it. Why would they all lie to you like that? I started playing it. And within the first five minutes, I was like, nope, anime protagonist that? I started playing it and within the first five minutes I was like, nope. Anime protagonist, there it is. Literally

in the first five minutes, this is the dialogue of the opening of this game. Final Fantasy 7, I'm going to recreate it for you. Train rolls in, main hero is on top, riding a train and he jumps off, sword in hand and goes, and then

here's the dialogue. It literally is anime. Only in anime does every action have like a, yeah. Only in anime does every action have like a... Of course. Of course it's a JRPG. I don't know why they would lie to you and be like, no, dude, no.

It's definitely not what you think it is. It definitely is. People have done that with anime. They'll be like, no, Crandor, you got to watch this anime. You'll definitely like this one I like I've liked four or five animes out of like the the a hundred thousands millions that are out there I'm not like it's most things are occasionally I'll be like oh I like that but I don't I'm not like a power anime watcher like some people and that's okay like I I watch sports I'm not gonna be like oh well you

gotta check out michael jordan 1998 nba finals that was a classic like you're gonna watch it you're gonna be like this is just basketball it's i don't like it like it's the same type of thing right sure absolutely you know it's different tastes for different people it's you know like i'm gonna be watching the nfl draft on thursday right? I don't think a lot of people would be like, oh, what should I check out, Crandor? I'd be like, oh, I've got to check out the NFL draft. You know that C.D. Lamb Jr.'s projected as the next Julio Jones? It's going to be crazy to see where he goes.

Some team might trade up for him, and who knows who the Patriots will take with their first-round draft pick. Right? That's what those types of games are to me and that's okay crossover we need the crossover event where it's like and Patriots first round draft pick is and then a guy jumps in like yeah well it's gonna at this point that might happen because they're doing it online i'm like a zoom call so you know it's one of them might really be in the anime must just might start doing that i love that oh yeah and then i've been watching another master class because i got it for

david lynch but now i'm just watching other master classes uh and there's this really good one with this fbi negotiator like a former fbi negotiator but like okay he pretty much teaches you about how to negotiate and talk and listen to people and it's actually really interesting there's a lot of things i would do anyway that i didn't even understand the science behind uh and so he talked about how he like got a girl out of like a terrorist kidnapping in iraq with al-qaeda he talked about i thought you were just about to be like how he got a girl period and i was like wait what all right gentlemen let me tell i was like kredor you did not go to a pickup thing like, gentlemen, let me tell you how to get a girl. Compliment sandwich.

Which, by the way, is the craziest. Every time I heard any business class thing was always a compliment sandwich. Was that in this? No, it was not. I hate it. I hate it where it's like, say something nice, then say something mean, then say something nice. Like, wait, what? I hate that.

That's so messed up. The biggest thing, which is actually just part of listening I learned in psychology, is just mirroring. So, for example, he was giving a thing where he's like, someone had a hard day. And they're like, man, I just had a hard day at work. And you're like, you had a hard day at work? And they're like, yeah, you just had a hard day at work. And you're like, you had a hard day at work? And they're like, yeah, I just was at work, and someone was yelling at me. It was just frustrating. And you're like, someone was yelling at you?

And they're like, yeah. And it keeps it going. And it's such a genuine type of reaction because it shows that you're listening, but they also have to respond with more details. I know that it come it's supposed to be a genuine thing but because i know what it is it seems like skeezy in a way it is it's like it's a sociopathic it could be a sociopathic tendency but it's uh i mean it's what expert negotiators like this guy used it in the fbi so i mean he knows what he's doing

sure to manipulate idiots with guns i'm very well aware but it's you know like he's giving examples he's like this one guy went to a yoga retreat or some shit and he's like everybody there loved him but he didn't he literally knew nothing about it they'd be like oh my god I love this yoga class and he's like you love the yoga class like yeah it was

great they had so many things to do blah blah they had food it was all organic he's like it's all organic they're like yeah you know i'm eating healthier i'm doing these things by the end he's like everyone's like wow i love that guy and they're like do you know anything about him and they're like no yep so that's just one technique like it's really interesting just kind of seeing the ways they negotiate and do all these things and he does examples of it so he'll do like a mirroring example or he'll do like uh this other thing was like labeling and he gave like these examples of how a certain part of the brain like uh shows activity whenever you label an emotion

so he it's one of those things where they'll be like oh you look like or it seems like you're upset and you point it out and they're like yeah i'm upset and they're like you're upset. And you point it out and they're like, yeah, I'm upset. And they're like, you're upset. And he's like, yeah, the guy caught me off in traffic. It's like, you know, the cycle continues. Right. Or the other thing is. You're about to be a triple threat. I'm terrified of you.

You're about to be like muscular and psychological. And also, I don't know. I don't know what the third thing is. A guy who's played a GameCube. Triple threat. Muscular, psychological GameCube wizard. So you play a lot of GameCube games. Yeah, I love GameCube games.

You love GameCube games? Yeah, like Paper Mario. You love Paper Mario? Yeah, Paper Mario. What have you been doing? She said you're tired. Oh, I Paper Mario. You love Paper Mario? Yeah, Paper Mario. What have you been doing? You said you're tired. Oh, I am tired. I don't know what's going on with me.

I, like, my sleep schedule is so out of whack, but I keep waking up early, and I don't know why. So, like, I will, and I'm now stuck in a cycle. So, I'll go to bed at, like, a reasonable hour so i'll go to bed at like a reasonable hour i'll go to bed let's say it's like 11 p.m right right i'll go to bed at 11 but i'll wake up at five which seems fine but i'll start my day and then around now ish 4 p.m i'll get so tired like ludicrously tired. I'm like, what if I just take a nap? So then I'll go take a nap for like an hour, and then I'll be jazzed.

And then I'll just go, you know, do the rest of the night, get stuff done, go to bed, and then, bam, wake up at 5. And I'm like, what if I just instead of of waking up at five brain, uh, slept until seven and I didn't have to go through it and I can just go through a whole day. I can't make it through a whole day right now. I just can't. Your schedule's all over the place. Wasn't it like a week or two ago? You're going to bed at like 1am.

That's what I'm saying. I haven't had a decent, just normal night's sleep of solid eight hours i just can't i will get maybe five hours and then sleep for two later in the day and then five i can't i don't know what's going on i can't figure it out it's driving me crazy i think your body's just off you need to like reset i i'm aware i know but i also feel i'm obligated because I'm working still. So I'm like, alright, well I gotta get stuff done in a reasonable time during the day. I can't just do it at night. So

I try to get stuff done during the day and then I'm tired and just like, ugh. So then I'll rest. Then I'll be like, ugh, I rested instead of worked. Ugh! So then I'll stay up working and then I'll finally go to bed and then I'll wake up early because I'm like, alright, I I got to get this thing done before. I'm a friend or I'm a mess.

That's like even the one night I got six hours of sleep and the next night I was like, man, I'm tired. I slept eight hours. Like, I just always need my like seven, eight hours. I can run off six hours. Once you go under six, you're like you're starting to hit like woo territory. But that's where I'm at currently. Right at this moment, I'm in off six hours. Once you go under six, you're starting to hit woo territory. That's where I'm at currently. Right at this moment, I'm in the woo territory where I'm having this conversation with you, but I want to let you know my periphery is a little fuzzy, and I just really want to go to bed.

Your periphery? I'm like, what if I took a nap? Your periphery? Yeah, the sides of my vision are not focused i'm i'm like uh in that state of awake where it's like boy i can function and i can do stuff and i can talk to you but everything about my eyes is like what if we closed what if we just like closed for a little bit and then you know what if we laid down though that's where i'm at right now i'm fine everything about me is working great but my eyes are like hey what if we just like took a nap so that's my problem sounds like you're sleep deprived

i feel sleep deprived yes you're absolutely right. What if? But it's weird because I'm not. I'm not. It feels like I'm sleeping too much. Sleeping too much? Yes. Maybe it's because my days are now segmented into different portions.

I'll go to bed at a normal time and then sleep a little bit during the day. And it could be just because I'm mentally exhausted with staying inside all the time and like constantly wiping down stuff. Here's a great example. If I go to the grocery store, right. And I need to get, I don't know, a carton of milk, right. The other day I went and got my parents milk and ground beef. So the process is literally like, all right, so I need to go get my gloves and my mask. All right, I'm going to go to the grocery store.

I touched a bunch of stuff on the way down to my car. So before I touch my car, I'm going to sanitize my hands. All right, I got in the car. Now I'm going to put on my mask and my gloves. As I go to the grocery store, get to the grocery store. I go out, you know, I like open the door. I'm outside. I have my gloves on and my mask.

Go get the groceries. And I get back to my car. And then before I open my car, I do a like the glove maneuver where you use one glove to get the other glove off, that kind of thing. And then I have a separate bag for those gloves that I put them into and then tie it up. And then I take my mask off so I don't touch the mask with my gloves. And then I sanitize my hands. And then I get in the car. And then I drive my ass back home, get out, grab all the groceries, go up to my apartment, re-sanitize, mess with the groceries.

Then if it's like a plastic thing, wipe it down with like a sanitizing wipe. And even the bags itself. So now I'm done messing with the bags. So then I wash my hands. Literally all that stuff is so exhausting. That is just like, I feel like I'm overwhelmed with the nonsense of just the times we live in and it's just exhausting. And maybe that's it as well, where I'm just like, I hate this. I hate it.

I too want to not do this anymore, but I'm going to keep doing it because it's the right thing to do, but it sucks. I don't know if you realize, but my last five responses to you were FBI negotiation responses. I didn't realize that. I was in my own world. That's the thing. You could have got me to give you a bunch of money. That's what I realized because yesterday I was telling Toaster Woman I was like yeah this FBI

negotiation thing it's cool it does this thing and she was like that's the thing and I was like yeah like he does it and I was like oh my god she just did it to me and I didn't even realize it. Like that's how powerful this is because it's literally just I just wanted to do it and see if you would realize it

and once I realized you didn't realize it I I was like, I'm going to keep going. I didn't know. You got me. You could have got me to give you my credit card number for all I know. Your credit card number? Yeah. The other thing I learned from it is the tone of your voice. That was another big one.

Because you could be like, oh, that's a good question. Or like, big one. Because you could be like, oh, that's a good question. Or like, that's a good question. Or like, wow, that's a good question. Because when you do that, it kind of masks whatever you're saying. So you could be like, oh, you're cleaning a lot. Or like, oh, you're cleaning a lot. Or like, oh, you're cleaning a lot. I don't like that last one.

The last one has like a, oh, you're cleaning a lot. Well, it's kind of a judgmental tone. Oh, it definitely felt like it yeah he said uh when they do negotiations they try to they have like three different types of voices they do they have like the playful voice of like yeah you know come on like hey what's uh what's uh we're friends right and then there's like the stern like we're not negotiating anymore and then there's like he said the uh fm late night dj which i think is just my natural voice where he's like hey you know we're gonna work something out here all right

yeah the stay calm voice hey yeah yeah just stay calm so it's uh i don't know i just find all that fascinating because it's like i think what blew my mind was just what i said we're like i was so excited about learning about this that i wanted to tell someone and then that very thing happened to me without me realizing it even with knowing that it was a thing it's it's crazy and i think a lot of us just naturally do it and just don't know what it is i think that's another thing yeah because you can be talking to your parents and they'll be like oh what are you doing you're like i'm working on youtube and they'll be like, oh, what are you doing? You're like, I'm working on YouTube. And they'll be like, oh, working on YouTube. So it's like a natural human thing. It's like it just shows curiosity, right?

It shows that you've listened and you want to know more, but without being invasive. Now I can't, I don't know how to respond to you. I don't know how to talk to you now because you've weaponized it. I could be breaking down your mind. Yeah, you're playing games with me. I'm in a weakened state. You can't do this to me.

So where were you on Saturday, April 18th at 4.44 p.m.? I mean, what else did you do? Anything fun? Anything exciting? No, nothing fun happened to me. It rained, and then my closet flooded, and then it flooded into my basement. Oh, yeah. I forgot your thing fell apart, your house. And then my closet flooded. And then it flooded into my basement area. Oh, yeah. My office area. Your thing fell apart.

Your house. Yeah. I guess the roof. Something was wrong with the roof so that when it rained, the water collected in one certain spot. And it went down into one of my walls that ended up being in the hall closet where you like put coats and stuff. Right. Thankfully it's LA. So I have no coats.

So like there was barely anything in the closet. And what ended up happening is the water started because it rained for, you know, LA, it doesn't rain 360 days out of the year. And then a few days it rains nonstop for days on end. And so, um, it was raining. I think it was like the second day of the year and then a few days it rains non-stop for days on end yeah and so um it was raining i think it was like the second day of the rain and i was downstairs in my office and i heard like bloop bloop i'm like what the hell is that noise i look up and the ceiling of my office there's one corner where it's straight up. Just, you can see a crack in

the ceiling and water dripping from the crack. And I was like, how the hell did that happen? So I ran upstairs and I thought, you know, either the dishwasher or the sink or the washing machine, something had overflown. I was like, I was terrified. Nope, nothing. I was like, what is happening? Did a pipe burst? What's going on? I then walked past the closet and stepped in water. I was like, what the hell? Open the door.

Water everywhere on the inside. Puddles of water. And the walls looked like, you know how sometimes they have those mirrors where the water runs down the mirror? Yeah. And, you know, the office lobby or whatever. It was like that, but it was on the walls of my closet. And I was like, what the hell? And so I got every towel I owned and put it on the ground and, like, tried to wipe down the walls.

And as I was wiping down the walls, the paint started coming off. walls and as I was wiping down the walls uh the paint started coming off and underneath it was like brown I'm gonna assume mold and I was like what the hell so I immediately called the apartment complex I was like guys I think water has been running down this closet for two days straight and I don't know what's going on but someone needs to come fix this so they sent a kid up and he went in and took photos and he's like okay well it's still raining there's nothing we can do while it's still raining because we can't repair the roof and the roof has to be repaired first like okay sure we'll wait till tomorrow i go to bed. I have towels everywhere. I go to bed, wake up. It's still raining, but now the water has moved from one side of my kitchen to the other,

through the ceiling, where it's now there's like a pocket of water in the paint. And when I pressed it, like water came down through it. I was like, oh my god. So I called up the front desk again. I was like, guys, it's just getting worse. I'm like, okay. So that day, thankfully, they sent an entire construction crew. So any hope of me existing in a world where I don't have to spend another 14 days in quarantine just in case.

They just like walked in the door like, hey, I heard your... I don't, I don't, I mean, they weren't coughing, but who knows? So a whole crew came in and they spent three days tearing down my kitchen and my closet. Just ripped out the wall, ripped out the flooring, ripped out the ceiling stuff, came down here to the office and ripped out the ceiling. Like just tore it apart over the course of a weekend. And I couldn't do any work or anything because it was just like. And I just spent, I'm going to say, entire days in my bedroom. I think that's what caused my sleep craziness now.

Because I just slept the entire time they were here. I just was like, I can't do anything. I can't leave. So I just got in my bed, closed the door, and just slept for days. I found some, like, edibles. I was like, all right, and just laid in that bed. They could have taken over my home if they wanted to. I wouldn't have known.

I was gone. I slept and was fine with it. And then I woke up one day and they were gone and everything was fixed. And I was like, oh, okay. So it was amazing. Yeah, it looks good as

new. The ceiling, you can't tell there was any damage or that they ripped it up. You can't tell the closet was ripped up. It looks like a brand new closet. The ceiling, you can't tell there was any damage or that they ripped it up. You can't tell the closet was ripped up. It looks like a brand new closet. The stuff in the kitchen was fixed. I was like, oh, okay. Cool. So I guess that's what happens when you have a nice apartment complex. But I have lived

in some bad places in the past, so I'm thankful it happened now rather than because I can only imagine what begging former landlords to like fix stuff would have been like because they were bad. Just like, oh, yeah, you got a leak. You know, I'll get someone out there in the next year.

Pretty much. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Fun times. Yeah, I don't know about that But what I do know about Is MeUndies What?

It's officially spring Which means it's officially time To spring clean Crenover's doing it, I've been doing it I got a bunch of clothes that I don't need anymore And put them in a box and was like, I'll take them to Goodwill Then I forgot that Goodwill's closed You can't, they don't want your clothes right them in a box and was like, I'll take them to Goodwill. Then I forgot that Goodwill's closed. You can't.

They don't want your clothes right now. I was like, ah, cool. So I have a box of clothes just sitting around. But that is good because, you know, Marie Kondo your life. Yeah. So if you are doing what we're doing, you probably should give your underwear drawer a check. Just saying.

You probably got some tattered old, stanky, toxic undies in there and it's time to refresh your wardrobe and you can do so with the membership to me undies, right? It's the softest, bestest undies in the world. You don't need a membership, but think of all the awesome things you can get with one. You can get a future present to yourself each month, right? A new pair of undies. And you get site-wide savings, early access, free shipping, ridiculously soft undies every month. You can buy anything else, too. You can get shirts and sweats and all sorts of things that they have.

It's a smart deal. But if you're not one of those people you're like i don't do memberships you can just buy stuff to buy it because that's how they roll baby me undies are made of micro modal fabric i don't know what it is never figured it out it's magical sustain i can't even speak. It's like tongue-tied. It got me twisted. It's magical, sustainable, and super soft. It's made from trees. That's right, trees. And it feels like you're floating on a cloud.

Size is extra small to 4XL. MeUndies has a great offer for you. If you're a first-time purchaser, you get 15% off and free shipping. It's a no-brainer, especially because they have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you want to give it a shot, get 15% off your first order. That free shipping, 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you don't like it, send it back. You get all your money back, but I'm telling you, you're going to love it.

You're going to be like, they got me. Cox and Crandor got me. MeUndies.com slash Crandor. That's MeUndies.com slash Crandor. That's me. Speaking of online ordering, today is the perfect time to get honey. You're ordering online. Everyone is right now.

I mean, it's just a fact. Honey is the free online shopping tool that helps you save money when you do what you're already doing. It automatically finds the best promo codes and applies them to your cart, which makes online shopping super easy and super affordable. It's what it should have been the entire time. Right? It's like you get coupons except instead of having to cut them out from a newspaper

like a robot does it for you. Like, okay, sure thing, Mr. J. Like Rosie from the Jetsons, you know? Like, alright, Mr. Shut up. Anyway, so imagine you're going to Target or Best Buy or Sephora or Macy's or eBay or Etsy or Walmart

or any of the other places on the internet that you're shopping at right now. When you go to checkout, a little box drops down. It's like, yo, apply coupons. And you're like, okay, click. You wait a few seconds and it scans for every single promo code on the internet and the price will drop i use it way too much to the point where now i'm buying things i don't really need just to fulfill free shipping requirements because it's like oh yeah you hit the 25 mark enjoy free shipping and then

i'm like apply coupon and it's like sorry like oh So then I have to go back and I buy another thing and I just barely make it over. And I'm terrified about applying a coupon now because it's going to save me more money. That's my problem. And that's a good problem. What do you have to lose over 18 million members over $2 billion in savings? Did you know Honey supports over 30,000 stores online? And they're adding more every day. Users love Honey. It has 100,000 five-star reviews on Google Chrome and the store there. It's so stupid if you don't use it.

You're literally throwing money away. It's free to use. It installs in just two clicks. money away. It's free to use. It installs in just two clicks. Go to joinhoney.com slash Cox to join for free today. That's joinhoney.com slash Cox. Save money with honey. Hey, we did it. Woo. All right, Crandor, let's go to chapter number seven. I cannot talk. See, this is what happens.

This is what happens when you're tired. How's that traffic out there? Traffic is currently still pretty non-existent. However, there are some people speeding around because they're like, hey, nobody's on the road. Let's go speeding. So don't do that because it's not safe. And you're already being an ass when you do it when people are on the roadways. And now you're being an ass when people are on the roadways. You're just being an ass.

You're not an ass car driver. All right. So, you know, put the helmet down. Actually, they're probably not wearing a helmet. Put the ego down and go sit inside. All right. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor.

Now let's go to Crandor at the weather desk. How's the weather? Now let's go to weather at the Crandor desk. Weather? Weather is here and I am raining. All right, weather, where am I? Weather, dangerous storms move east. Cool.

I swear to God, weather.com always has some sort of emergency going on. They're like, people dying, tornadoes hitting, dangerous storms. It's almost like that's how they make their money. It's wild. It is, a little bit. What's going to happen next? People on YouTube are going to be like, World of Warcraft's dying every year for the last 15 years? That wouldn't happen.

Let's go somewhere fun. Let's go to fun. Funabashi-shi-chi-ba-prefecture-Japan. That sounds like fun. Sounds like fun. In Funabashi, Shibu. 50 degrees. Rain.

Feels like 48. You got a high of 59, a low of 52. I just feel like if anybody lives outside America, which is probably like a third of our audience, they're probably like, here comes the Fahrenheit again. All right, listen. It's the American school system. I didn't, you know, they didn't teach us Celsius. All right, listen. It's the American school system. I didn't, you know, they didn't teach us Celsius.

Well, they did. No one gave us a choice on how we learn systems. Yeah, like Celsius, we learned in, I think, third grade. And they said we'd never have to use it. Yeah, they're like, we don't have to use it, though.

And then you're like, okay, unless you go to like some science thing and then everyone's science uses it. But I'm not a scientist. All right. You listen to this podcast, you you go to some science thing and then everyone's science uses it. But I'm not a scientist. You listen to this podcast, you know we have no science background. Oh, 100%. So it's 59 degrees, rain, winds 5 to 10 miles an hour coming out of the north. You got 100% chance of rain, so it is going to rain.

It may even reach one inch another measurement that you probably aren't using uh so the 10 day right what's happening over the next 10 days 66 62 61 62 64 69 nice 63 64 66 70 70s then we get into the 70s buckle up japan you're in for some nice weather. It's actually pretty much like what it is here. Like here in Chicago, we got like those same temperatures, maybe slightly lower, but it's like in the 60s now, right? It's nice.

Like you open up the door or the windows and you get some fresh air rolling in. But like normally, if you keep your place to like 60s anyway, now you get fresh air 60s. It's fantastic, unless you have allergies. You have allergies? I'm only mainly allergic to grass pollen, from what I remember. Because I had so much stuffiness.

I see what you're doing. Yay! As soon as I did it the first time, I fell for it. Then the second time, I was like, hold on a second. I knew I pushed my luck. You got to space it out a little bit. If you want to space that out.

No one has ever asked. Your allusion to grass pollen? That's never been said before. I pushed my luck and I failed. Yeah, you just space it out next time. Give me a little more. Thanks, Sensei. Yeah. But yeah space it out next time. Give me a little more. Thanks, Sensei. Yeah.

But yeah, allergies can take a toll. So allergy companies, if you want me to promote Claritin, allergy companies, we make the best allergies. Allergy companies. Honestly, if I get allergies flare up, you just take like a benadryl or uh like claritin or one of those i don't know but i don't have to take them that often it's just if it's bad oh no i'd rather have the old windows open get some fresh air going makes you invigorated

yeah so uh that's the weather all right sports sports welcome to the sports desk uh well the nfl draft's coming up and it's gonna be a shit show uh me and sinvicta and rob on our three guys talk about football podcast went over it and uh they are gonna be doing a virtual nfl draft so it's pretty much like a zoom call nfl draft and they're like uh don't worry every uh gm will have their own technician near them which is pretty much i'm saying these guys are so old they're like so i can talk on the internet now this is great uh so thank god the packers gms are like 40 because they actually have some knowledge of the internet. Uh, but there's like some other owners that are like 80 and they're just like, yeah, can I use a telephone?

So it's, it's going to be fun. I can't wait to just watch the shit show unravel. So we're gonna be live streaming it. We can't actually show the draft, but the last two years we've live streamed it and we, uh, we like live stream the ESPN screen of what's happening. And then we have the draft on the other screen that we're watching that we just commentate it's a fun time uh so this come on by it'll be fun we still expect someone to like hack the nfl because you know it's gonna be a zoom call there's gonna be some kid that does it uh but we'll see it could it could just be a shit show in general so that's happening the nba had a horse tournament because they're panicking on what to do they're trying to figure

out how to play in empty stadiums and it was funny because someone was like just ask the bengals and the dolphins they already do it so the bulls fired their gm thank god oh my god they needed to do that for like 10 years they finally did it they got it done that's neat got it done and uh that's that's sports all right crendor what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day so there's two things the one we have from the other week is pet robertson who's just like an old televangelist or some shit i don't know uh during you know that's an accurate that's accurate that's very accurate yeah during an appearance on the 700 club robertson blamed the coronavirus on oral sex quote some of these youngins are doing all kinds of unnatural things with

their sex organs, said Robertson. When people do that, they transfer all kinds of chemicals from lady private parts, and that's where I think the virus came from. We never had this kind of thing when I was coming up, but no one was committing oral sex back then. Robertson previously blamed 9-11

on witches and lesbians. Oh my god. There's so much going on in there. There is so much going on in there. From start to finish. This has to be fake, right? I have no clue. I have no clue.

From start to finish, there is so much to take in. I don't know first have you ever committed the act of oral sex because uh no one was doing it back then which i must presume is like 2000 not even you can't even go back 2000 years because the Romans and shit were probably doing it in the streets. I think all he's admitting to is that he has a very unsatisfied wife is what I'm seeing here. I just, everything about this quote, some of these youngins, that's how it starts. Some of these youngins are doing all kinds of unnatural things with their sex organs. Some of these youngins. If you are immediately out of touch with everyone,

the first thing you say is some of these youngins. Some of these youngins are doing all kinds of unnatural things with their sex organs. I want to know what he thinks a natural thing is. That is true. Because. When people do that, they transfer all kinds of chemicals.

The chemicals. From the lady parts. The chemicals. Chemicals from lady parts. This is how the Joker was made. No one realizes this. That's what happened to the Joker. Batman used lady part chemicals and it warped his face.

From lady parts. And that's where I think the virus came from. We never had this kind of thing when I was coming up. But no one was committing oral sex back then. No one was committing oral. What a crazy phrase no one was committing oral sex back then and then it's like robertson previously blamed 9-11 on witches and lesbians which again hilarious uh i did find someone linking a thing about the business

standard news that says it is a satirical site designed to parody the 24-hour news cycle it so i think it is fake did we get goofed but here's the thing some of the fake stories are so outlandish and crazy that they're believable because you know this type of person believes well he did i mean here's the thing he did say the stuff about 9-11 oh yeah so that's the thing it is something he probably would say so that's what makes it so believable i whoever well fake or real whoever wrote this article gave me one of my favorite laughs in a long time yeah it's uh it's fantastic but i was coming up no one's committing oral sex it's committing oral sex is my favorite phrase it's like a robbery oh here's the uh other one okay uh someone linked us a tweet

uh jesus broke into a pizza hut in their hometown so jesus pizza hut uh here it is let's see this is north carolina the story's from like a few years ago but it's still pretty good jesus christ a north carolina man pulled 9-1-1 i just broke up broke into a pizza hut a north carolina pizza hut restaurant was supposed to be closed at 4 30 a.m but all it took was some divine intervention a smashed window how dare they richard lee quintero 46 broke into high point north carolina restaurant police said then he called 9-1-1 claiming he was jesus yes this is jesus christ and i just broke into a pizza hut the man tells dispatchers in the audio recording. I broke the window.

Jesus is here now. He's back to earth. Unfazed, the dispatcher asks the caller whether or not he works at the restaurant he's calling from. No, I just broke in and had a pizza. The caller responds during the two-minute phone call, adding that he also had a Mountain Dew. I'm Jesus. You know what? They should have asked him, like, are you selling tickets to heaven behind a KFC?

Because I feel like this is the Jesus who would. No, they should have just kept it going. He's just like, I just broke into the pizza hut. And they'd be like, you broke into the pizza hut? And he'd be like, yeah, I broke into the pizza hut. That's how they got him to keep talking. You're right. Yeah.

Then the dispatcher asked what he looks like. I look like Jesus. What else am I supposed to look like? The caller responds. Asked by the dispatcher why he broke in, the man gives the obvious answer. Because I'm Jesus. I can do what I want. He tells the dispatcher, explaining he broke in.

We're tired of Judas on this earth. We're going to clean this earth up. Also, here he is. Wait, but why? Wait, hold on. But why would he do this? Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

That guy doesn't even look like Jesus. Hold on. He does not. He doesn't even look like Jesus. No. What were you saying? I just, I don't know. I feel like he's going about this whole

getting rid of Judas' thing wrong because the first thing he did was make a pizza and drink a Mountain Dew. That seems counterproductive. It does seem kind of counterproductive. Quintero was arrested at 4.45. on Wednesday on charges of felony breaking and entering felony larceny, according to a police report. He was booked at the High Point Jail, where he was held on a $1,000 bond.

Police told the High Point Enterprise that Quintero cooperated with police when they arrived at the restaurant to arrest him. Quintero told the dispatcher he has schizophrenia. He also said he moved to North Carolina from Indiana, and that in North Carolina, everybody's been treating me mean. Oh, oh. Well, that's kind of sad. I feel so bad for him. Oh, man.

He wasn't doing bad. Man, you know it's bad when you move from Indiana and they're treating you mean. What a sad ending. I moved from Indiana and everyone's treating me bad. Man, I feel that. That sucks. All he wanted to do was eat pizza. That's true.

All he wanted to do was eat pizza. There are violent people out there. All he did was eat pizza and drink a Mountain Dew. Here's the problem. They didn't follow up. They could have been like, everyone's treating you mean. And then he'd get so many more stories. Yeah, he could have told them he was treating them mean.

We would have found out and we could have taken him out. Yeah. Really, these are the tactics news reporters need to start employing. We should run our own news channel. We should. Cox and Crenn News. All the news you can Crenn News. Yeah, and every interview is just like,

So there I was, minding my own business when out of the blue came a comet that struck that poor man's head. A comet struck that poor man's head. That's right. It went right through and inside was an alien. His name was Phillip. And I said, Phillip, what are you doing here? And the alien looked at me and said, I've come for your women. He came for your women.

He came for your women? That's what I said. And it turns out he's actually a young Filipino man. A young Filipino man? Yes, it was weird. It turns out I was on cocaine at the time. You were on cocaine? That's right. I got it from my friend, Little Phil. He runs the bistro down the time. You're on cocaine? That's right. I got it from my friend,

Little Phil. He runs the bistro down the street. They serve a very nice quiche. Oh, they serve a very nice quiche. One of the best in the city. Tastes delicious.

It has little tomatoes in it and it has other sort of veggies. I find it divine. But he also sells crack cocaine out the back. He sells crack cocaine out the back? That's not sells crack cocaine out the back. He sells crack cocaine out the back? That's not all he sells out the back. What else does he sell?

All sorts of things come out the back. It's crazy. Yeah, and we just... Every interview we go on for eight hours. Yeah. Then we just make a highlight reel. And then we upload the full thing to Netflix

in our new special, Crazy People Say the Darnest Things. Yeah, we find out where all the cool spots were because we eventually hear all the information. Yeah. And that's why we bring you the best information from the source. All the Crenn news,

you can Crenn use. Yeah. All right. Well, that's it for us. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening or watching, however you're enjoying this fine podcast. Crenndor, hit them with socials. We have so many socials you should follow right now.

All right. Take the time. Go to this place right now. Open a new tab. Go to YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. All right. Follow that channel. Subscribe.

Hit the bell. Then you're going to go to the next one. You're going to delete the podcast part to go to YouTube.com slash Cox Crendor. That's all the animation. So you're going to follow, subscribe, hit the smash like the youtube blingo button then you're gonna go to our twitters our facebooks our youtube other youtube.coms our instagrams all those places follow all those uh instagram.com slash crendor is taken youtube face or instagram.com just Notorious Cox. Those are different

from our other ones, which are just looking up Jesse Cox and Crandor. You find all the stuff. And, you know, show your friends. Show your family. Show your dog. Show everybody you're quarantined with right now, which is probably everything I just mentioned. Blast us on

the radio if you're in your car. You know, then people be like, what is that annoying ass show? I don't like that. Don't blast us. We don't deserve to be blasted. That's true. We've never done anything blast worthy. Never done anything blast worthy. Well, you know the youngins coming up. With the chemicals.

The chemicals. Alright, yeah. Just follow us. The chemicals. All right. Yeah, that's just foul. Oh, goodness. Okay, that's it. Thank you so much. We'll see you guys next time. And as always, to be continued.