Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 239 - When you REALLY want to go camping

Episode Date: May 4, 2020

The boys are back again and this time Jesse rediscovers the amazing reviewbrah! Who knew watching someone review fast food in a suit could be so uplifting? Also Crendor broke his ding dong. That's right. You heard me. That and a man sneaks in to Disney World to go camping. All this and so much more on this weeks new Cox n' Crendor! If you go to http://getquip.com/CRENDOR right now, you’ll get your first refill FREE. Get 15% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee by going to http://meundies.com/crendor. URL

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip is out there trying to keep your teeth healthy while we're all stuck home. You got plenty of time. Use it to make your mouth sparkle. We're also brought to you today by MeUndies. Because if you're going to be at home and you're going to do a whole bunch of nothing, do it in your undies. And they might as well be the most comfortable ones you can get. But enough of all that, let's jump into this podcast.

Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trending. This is Trending in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studios. Recording. Wake your ass up.

It's the Cax and Crendor in the morning. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the setting up of the Cax and Crendor in the morning. Hello. Hi, how are you? What? Were you snoring or were you just like, what was going on there? I was going to do like a, and I just kind of started doing that.

And then before you know it. What was happening? Really, I just had no idea of what I was about to do and then just went with that. Well, I know what I'm about to do. Hello, everyone. This is Running On Empty Food Review. Wait, you're doing a... I've watched that all week.

That's my week. Oh, my God. You're on the review bra train. I don't know what started it. I don't know what happened. But I think I clicked, like, a random video. That's how it starts. The next thing you know, I I spent seven days watching review bra I think I've seen every video I know all of his feelings on

everything I watched the video where he's like let me tell you about Starbucks water and I was like did Crandor get it from this I don't know which is the weird part uh he I just knew he drank Starbucks water And that was like this was like after I'd been You know raving about Starbucks water And I was like dude look at that someone else gets it Yeah he uh I do have I do question a lot of what he says like one of his

Things like my favorite pizza is And it's the one that has like the cheesy Bread on the outside but like no cheesy bites And I'm like I don't know about that. I've watched enough to the point. I can do review bras like, you know, his mannerisms or whatever.

Down to a T. Hello, everyone. This is Running On Empty Food Review. Well, hello, everyone. This is Running On Empty Food Review. I was about to say, he then says it again.

He does his intro and then rees his intro every time my favorite part is he has a he has this thing of like repeating stuff multiple times but it's the same thing he'll be like now i like this cheesy bread from dominoes it's it's very cheesy but it's not overly cheesy but it's it's got cheese that's that's just on the pizza and you know there's there's your classic grease and tomato sauce and cheese but it's it it's good when you mix it all together it's like he's here with me right now i love this now one one big thing is you know it's priced at 5.99 and it's a you know a little pricey for is, you know, it's priced at $5.99, and it's a little pricey for that, but, you know, it is what it is. It's a good pizza for the price that you purchase it at.

Oh, my God. What you just said, if you would have said $6.95, it would have been the exact verbatim. Just before we started recording, I was watching him do a review of the KFC Nashville Hot Chicken and Waffle Sandwich. I saw that one. That's like from like two months ago or something. And he's like, it is not good. I can't say that it's a good sandwich, but it's funny because he describes it in a way that you're like,

of course that's not. He's like, the waffles have vanilla flavoring, and normally by itself as a breakfast item, that would be delicious. But vanilla with spicy hot with cayenne peppers, that's not good. It's just not good. It's not a good combination of flavors. And the cayenne, the vanilla, it's just so many flavors.

It's just you don't know what to do with your mouth love him i love him he's so pure i thought he was 30 he's only 22 years old he's more of an adult than i'll ever be my favorite part is he's like he's like hit old man status since he was like 18 maybe earlier like i've watched his he had a review of where he like reviewed a train ride like an amtrak train ride and it's amazing it's one of my favorite videos he reviewed his his oral surgery recently he went to the dentist yeah he did a review of it it's so good it's good it's the thing is right he's reviewing things that you'll probably try so you get like some sort of relatability there but he's also just very calm he's always very collected

and he's just like a very pure like you know kind person there's one video where he compares coke and pepsi oh yeah in that video this woman shows up and is like i'm so nervous i'm so i what who what are you going to choose? That's his mom. Who is this woman? That's his mom? That's his mom, yeah. How old is his mom?

His mom's probably like, I don't know, like 38, 39, 40. You think she's single? You think they can marry into this family? Honestly, you never know. I got a question. She seemed like such a sweetheart i was like is he dating this girl and then i found out he was 22 years old grandor yeah he actually had a crazy fall you know that i did i saw his my hospital review of it's him in a hospital bed

yeah it's uh yeah when did i really start watching him's see. Because he's been around like a long time, actually. Like years, years, and years. I think I only started watching maybe like two, maybe like a year and a half ago, I want to say. Yeah, whenever he... Yeah, probably a year and a half ago. That's about right. Let's see. Domino's Meat Suck, Burger sick burger king rodeo king burger wendy spicy

chicken nuggets i he has one where it's my experience on tosh.0 and he looks so sad in it i'd be sad too if i had to go oh yeah i would too his old he made a video nine years ago. It was his energy drink review. So he was like 15 or 14 when he made this review. Even when you say review, you say energy drink review. Review. I think I'm just – I'm like a weird chameleon thing where, like, I don't do the actual voice well, but I just do their, like – what is it when you, when you do how they speak?

I was about to say incantation, but that's not what it is. Inclination, they're, what is that called? Not innuendo. They're, you know what I mean. Is it incantation? Not incantation, no. Intonation is what it is. The intonation. Intonation. Yes.

Because I did that with my WoW video. I would do my Morgan Freeman. I didn't sound like Morgan Freeman, but I did the same like, hello, here it is me, Morgan Freeman. It's that same kind of, you know, intonation. So I do that same thing where I'm like, hello, everyone. This is Running On Empty Full I'm like, hello, everyone. This is Running On Empty Food Review.

Well, hello, everyone. All your imitations are annotations. Yeah. You can't do the voice. You're just not an imitationer. Damn. Yeah. That's exactly who you are.

Shit, dude. Food Review. Even when I do you, I'm like, what's up? It's just Cox here. And I'm back from Gus just cox here in a back guys fan Friday You only do the one video series Yeah, that's that's all I say. Yeah, it's the only one that I actually do a voice for everything else is like real guys Hey guys, it's Jesse and it's time for another Jesse Cox special

Hey there guys, it's Jesse And it's time to get naked Yeah, I get it Imagine if that's Like I invite you back to my place and I'm like Hey there guys, it's Jesse It's time to get naked

Hey guys I mean, yeah I got everybody Hey guys, it's Dodger It's time to get naked. Hey, guys. I mean, yeah, you know, I got everybody. They got the, hey, guys, it's Dodger. Like, you can't even tell. Oh, my God. I just found the video you were talking about where it's like him as a kid. How the? And he's still wearing a suit.

Who is this kid? Who is this kid? He always wears a suit. I'm blown away. Review Bra is like my hero this guy has the thing it's like when i first saw him i thought it was he was like memeing like i thought it was sarcastic like uh you know he's just he's wearing the suit to be funny and like doing all this but he like actually wears the suit like every day no matter what he's had like a few uh day in the life of review bras it's great i love that dude so that's what i've been my whole week has been that i have wanted

to do other things i've wanted to go and live my life and i got like a sore throat this week so i was trying to take it easy because i was like oh i don't know what this is going to lead to, and I better not get anything. So I just sat inside and watched this dude, and oh, my God. I love him. I love him. I'll do like two videos a day and be like, that's all I need to get through. He taught me about the new Doritos Locos Taco Bell, and now I feel good about my day. Yeah, I'll watch that and be like, dude, this sounds pretty good. I trust his food reviews. And now I feel good about my day. It sounds. Yeah. Watch that and be like, dude, this sounds pretty good. Right.

I trust his his food reviews. You know, I did learn when he did his his Pepsi Coke review. I immediately knew which one was which based on how he described it. But I was upset that he chose Pepsi for the reasons I hate Pepsi. I was like, oh, oh, he doesn't. Oh, that's like, he doesn't, oh. Then he was like, although it is based solely on the can, and I have not had bottle or soft drink fountain to compare. And I was like, all right, you saved yourself.

Yeah. I think Pepsi is just sweeter. He said it tasted more watered down And smoother And I was like yeah I like The more carbonated coke I like that coke like punches you in the face I agree

I think sometimes you just need that coke punch Yeah if you're gonna drink If you're gonna drink a soda get punched in the face Exactly Don't drink that watered down like it's I don't want a soda that tastes like It's already been sitting there for 10 minutes Let's see what have I been doing

Yeah what have you been up to Let's see I've just been watching stuff too Well I play Animal Crossing That's one thing I do Not as much as I used to but but I still got to get my couple hours in. Not as much as I used to, but I got to get my hours. Yeah. I've been watching the Bulls documentary.

Hilarious. It's great. It's fantastic. They did the first ones, like Michael Jordan, and then they do Scotty Pipp, and then they do Rodman. The Rodman one is my favorite episode, by the way. So good. He's crazy. The way they edit that show is,

I'm sure everyone saw the clip, but last week they had Michael Jordan be like, look, I'm not going to say what was going on, who I saw in that room, what was happening in that room, but I went there to go get Rodman, and things were going on. Cut to Carmen Electra, who's like, yes, we were in the room, and then Michael Jordan entered. The editing is so good.

It's on point. Whoever's making this are geniuses. Oh, yeah, it's fantastic. The whole point of that part was they're halfway through the season, and Dennis Rodman's like, I need a vacation. They're like, dude, we're in the middle of the season. And he's like, I need a vacation. And they're like, fine, how long do you need?

And he's like, we'll give you 48 hours for Vegas. And he's like, so we let him go to Vegas. And he's like, dude, you know this guy ain't coming back if we let him go to Vegas. And he's like, 48 hours, come and go? He's still not back. And we're like, yep. So we had to go to Vegas. And he's like, for 48 hours, come and go, he's still not back. We're like, yep. So we had to go to Vegas and get him. And then they go to find him in this room and they're just like, hey.

And then, you know, he's in there with Carmel Electric. My very part is, it isn't like they sent goons there or like some dudes from the team. Literally Michael Jordan. Jordan, like actual players had to go. That's so funny. That team in itself is like crazy.

Yeah. It's so wild to hear people say the absolute truth. They're like, without Rodman, we couldn't have done the things we did. Like his rebounds are legendary. But at the same time, they're being like, I hate Dennis Rodman. Yeah. He's on the Pistons They're like the crazy Pistons They're the bad boy Pistons

They just beat everyone up They just like shove you, foul you, hit you They just did all that I think the next episode I think the episode that's today is The Dream Team I think Yeah I watched it, It was the dream team. And then they talk about like his shoes and Jordan brand and how that got started.

And then they do his gambling problem. Oh, my God. Yeah, so you'll know that. And then more basketball stuff. Speaking of which, oh, I forgot. Crandor, I definitely made a promise to you that I would ask you these conspiracy questions on the podcast. Oh, that's right. Oh, my God.

All right. We have to do that. We have to do that at some point. I'll let you decide when. All right. Once we run out of things to talk about, which probably won't be long. I'll put that right there as a reminder. Let's see.

I started. Oh, yeah. I've been resting my groin still. It's getting better. I feel like an athlete. You know what I mean? I love. So people aren't aware.

Crandor broke his penis at some point, some way. I believe the way he described it to me was you know when you pee that muscle it's not even that's not broke all right you know it still works it's the muscles where like when you when you go to pee right and then you know when you stop the flow yeah no one's aware yeah that's that's like one of those muscles and so i didn't realize how much you use these muscles until you strain one of them and oh my god these are apparently a lot of pregnant women have like uh muscle strains down there or they actually get stitches because it's like when you're you know childbirth you have a baby and it's like they gotta like open it up uh- Yeah. So they have to like re-stitch that area and you have to recover.

And it takes four to six weeks. Luckily, I haven't been stitched open or cut open and stitched. Why would you need to be? Why would you need to be? I'm not. I don't have to. I'm just saying. Luckily, I haven't because that would take like a month and a half, two months to heal.

I'm like a week and a half in. I'm like, I can finally sit in a chair again with my donut thing I bought on Amazon. I love that you bought a donut thing. That's amazing. Yeah, I bought this donut. Dude, it's amazing. I can sit in a chair again. What is your donut?

Let me look this up. What did you get? Donut pillow, tailbone cushion, 100% memory foam, sciatica, bed sores, hemorrhoid, post-surgery pain relief. Look at that. If I get any of those, boom. I'm covered. Also, you don't want to spend all your time on the donut pillow.

Why not? I've never had a donut pillow. I don't know the deal. It's like anything. It's like you don't want to sit on something too long to the point where that causes its own problems. You know? You know it will? Are you sure it will i'm just saying any anything too much of anything causes problems no matter what it is i was about to say what about sunshine but then you know what

sometime too much sunshine will cause problems yeah some sometimes sometime sunshine cause problems sometimes sometimes too much water you'll die from too much water. Yeah. Like, listen, it's what it is. It's all about balance. You got to keep that balance going. That's what I'm trying to do. So, slowly but surely, you know, like a week ago, maybe like a week and a half when I first, like, strained it. I had to, like, watch the NFL draft. And I was, like, on my side.

I couldn't even sit up, like, because it just hurt. But now, you know, I'm hitting that point, you know, where athletes start feeling better and they're like, yeah, I could play. You start getting to that tier and then you like re injure it. So I don't want that re injury. So I'm just I'm just taking it easy. Really? Well, I'm saying is I'm an athlete.

Right? No. Yes, I get it. I get it. That's what I that's what I'm hearing. Yeah, so it's so it's probably a good time for conspiracy theories. Okay. All right. So I have a list of conspiracies, and I wanted to run these by you and what you thought. All right.

Are these, like, from the conspiracy show you do? No, this is literally from our slash conspiracies. Oh, okay. One of them, I think we'll start with the one about michael jordan i think this is uh something that you probably have an opinion on so i'll i'll ask you this one first michael jordan's two-year stint in baseball so what this was by the way is someone on reddit posted hey what conspiracies do you think are actually real? All right. And so these are all the ones that people were like, they were all the most upvoted. They were like, yes, this has to be real.

Michael Jordan's two-year stint in baseball was actually a two-year NBA ban for gambling on games. I don't think so. Really? Why not? Well, I literally just watched the whole episode on it. So pretty much what his thing was is he got burned out. I think he loves gambling, but here's the thing. He's Michael Jordan, right? He's got a shit ton of money.

He doesn't care. He's not going to be poor on the street plus the nba is making so much money off michael jordan last thing they would want to do is ban their like best player and money asset sure so it's just that seems dumb in itself and by the end of the when he wins the third championship you just see it like after it's not like the first one where he's like finally we won or the second one where they're like whoa yeah we won again he's just like oh finally we did it it's over like he's just burned out he was tired of the media because the media was just constantly like michael michael gambling gambling you gamble you like gambling michael and he's just like for like his it was wearing him down and so i think think once that hit and he won the third championship,

he was like, I just need a break. And he just wanted to get away. All right. Debunked. Debunked. Conspiracy number two. The hole in your toothpaste is far too big. You don't need that much toothpaste,

especially the amount you see in commercials, but it's put there to make you go buy more sooner. Wait, the hole in your toothpaste? Yeah, where you squeeze the toothpaste through? Toothpaste? The toothpaste? Wait. The hole in your toothpaste?

Yeah, like the toothpaste container. Right. It's too big. Yeah like the toothpaste container Right It's too big It gives you too much toothpaste And the amount you see in the commercials That they want you to use

Is actually far more than you need But it's there so you'll have to buy more Faster I never noticed that thing being Like a Big hole for the toothpaste to come out of Like it's always just you know i do a little like blap and that's it i think they do it in the commercials because

it looks cooler right you just put a little blop on there it's like there's your toothpaste but when you like do a whole chunk of it it's like whoa man look at that toothpaste you know what i'm saying yeah no i get it i only put a little blop, too. Yeah, but it's that same thing. When you just show a little blop in a commercial, it's not that exciting. But when you do a full-on squeeze of that paste, you're showing off all that paste. You're like, yo, this is the paste you want, and you're going to buy it. And you're like, yo, that's a lot of cool paste. Yo, that's a lot of paste for my teeth.

By the way, why is it called paste instead of like cleanser toothpaste is like you know right because you're not pasting your teeth tooth cleanser just sounds I don't know it's just ah that's my tooth cleanser

must cleanse my teeth tonight toothpaste when you think about it doesn't sound right I mean it is a paste. I guess you're right. I don't know. It sounds weird. Like you're pasting your teeth. It's weird.

You are kind of pasting your teeth. I mean, okay. Why would you say you're not pasting your teeth? I don't know, because you're scrubbing them down like tooth soap. Well, okay. What about other types of paste? What do you mean? Like if you're pasting stuff together, sure.

But there's like, there we go. I just Googled paste. You got Elmer's glue paste. Yep, that's glue paste. But you've got like food paste, like red curry paste, ginger garlic paste. So is paste not what it does, but the form in which it is? Yeah, it's like the consistency of it. Gotcha.

Okay. Well, we've solved something else here today. All right. Here's another one. I'll crack all these. Yeah. Here's another one. They intentionally put no or extremely tiny pockets in women's clothing in order to sell purses and bags. Uh, no, I don't think so. Okay. Why is that because they must like the majority of them are going to have a purse or a bag so they don't really need the pockets so they just make them small and like

because they know they're not gonna really they're not really gonna use them so they're like why waste fabric on it damn yeah it's just all right all right let me see if I can hit you with some good ones Mattress firm And other mattress stores are actually a front For laundering money The amount of them in this town is absurd There's like three within a mile of each of them Two of them across the street from each other I'm not buying it

Just like people aren't regularly buying mattresses Oh yeah I feel like we might have talked about this a while ago. Wait, so this is the one you buy? You're like, oh, yeah. They're definitely laundering money. Oh, yeah. I think Shane Dawson did a thing on this.

I saw it somewhere, but it was like, it definitely was sketchy. I'd definitely say there's some sort of laundering going on here. This is the one. All right. There's too many mattress stores. There on here. This is the one. All right. There's too many mattress stores. There's too many. That's true. Not enough mattresses.

Okay. Throwback Thursday was invented so that social media apps, mainly Facebook, could build and develop facial recognition technology showing the faces of people over time. No. Why not? faces of people over time uh no why not i just think people like holidays that they just invent for no reason because they're just like throwback thursday like people do it all the time with like other shit like thank god it's friday they didn't invent that just so they could have like some social media thing it's been around forever so all right just for the record everyone hold your toothpaste just fine michael jordan didn't get banned for gambling throwback thursday not a social media conspiracy now uh two pockets and clothes not there to get

women to buy bags but mattresses are for laundering money they are dude i'm telling you all right i have listen when i was on that plane right remember three years ago i was on that plane with that guy used to sell crack yes that guy would talk about when he was on he was like yeah you know when i used to sell drugs before i found jesus i uh you, I had like a car wash place. He's like, we'd wash cars and stuff, but we laundered a lot of money. Every time I see like mattress stores, like places that sell like, you know, like chairs, lamps, I don't know, anything like that. I'm like that place. There's like a 75% chance it's a drug front.

anything like that. I'm like, that place, there's like a 75% chance it's a drug front. In Dayton, Ohio, where I used to live, there was a Chinese restaurant across the street from a Taco Bell in downtown Dayton. Never saw anyone there, ever. Not once, never. In the history, it was always open. Never saw a car.

Not once. It was open in the, I'm'm going to say 10 plus years that I lived there Not once was it ever packed Did it ever have one car out front Convinced it was for laundering money Or like a mob place or something There's no way That it could have stayed open that long And I never saw anyone there

Ever Oh yeah There's definitely some drugs happening. I was afraid to go in because I thought either the food's terrible or there's gangsters in there. Either way, it's not worth going. Yeah. No way. Okay.

Wait, what was the last one? I was going to add something on. Oh, yeah. No. Throwback Thursday. Here's the thing. I think just people invented that because they enjoy like stupid ass holidays where they like showing off they're like this is how i look 10 years like yeah but i think companies like facebook and

social media and all those ones take advantage of that by being like hey look at all the people doing this dumb shit we just take advantage of this. And they're like, yeah, let's do that. I believe it. It's easy pickings. Okay. Here's my favorite one. All right. The reason Disney came out with a movie called Frozen when that's not the original title of the fairy tale was because when you Googled Disney Frozen,

you would get the movie rather than websites talking about Walt Disney's body being frozen oh yeah I think I've heard of this one too you know what I think that one's true I can see that

covering up the old Disney you have a very specific list of what you believe is true and what is not I just try to get into the human psych you know yeah right and i feel like they could definitely be around and be like you know what we're just we're just tired of people looking for frozen body disney so it's like screw it know, let's just make this Frozen movie. Bam. Problem solved. Problem solved. Now, what if you search Disney Frozen body?

See, now it's just people wondering, right? It used to be like, you know, that's all you'd find. But now it's people wondering about Frozen and then referencing back to Frozen my favorite part is all the videos have Walt Disney and then Elsa in them she's just blasting them

with freeze I don't know what they use to freeze them cryogenic powers maybe she is the one who froze them yeah maybe there was a young girl cryogenic powers. Maybe she is the one who froze him. Yeah, maybe there was a young girl named Elsa who froze Walt Disney.

That was it. Can you imagine if they just wake him up one day? No. No, I can't. It's not going to happen. How do you know? It's just not going to happen They're not one day going to be like

We decided to wake up Walt Disney It's just not going to happen That's what they want you to think Then one day when the time is right What would he do? What good could that do the world? Nothing But he'd be back

What? That would offer no one anything It wouldn't like make the world better in any way Yes But I mean you know he just Like why Isn't there like other people that wanted to be cryo frozen or whatever

Sure yes there are many people And they think like whenever the disease I have Can be cured wake me up. Well. But that's still crazy. There's got to be like one person where we like. I've seen that movie. It's called Demolition Man.

It ends badly for all of us. Wesley Snipes comes back and destroys the world. I've seen it. And the only way to stop them is by sending a maniac. Send a maniac to catch a maniac. That's how you do it. Yeah, like, here's the thing, right? All these people are gonna be cryofrozen, whatever, blah blah blah.

But what if you get brought back and the world's like, awful? And you become like a slave to aliens or some shit? Here's the thing. I, for one, welcome our alien audience. Whatever they choose to do with the rest of you, I will gladly serve. Well, I mean,

maybe you'd be an ideal frozen candidate. Let it go. Let it go. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. We need to learn more about cryo freezing. That's what this boils down to. I don't agree.

That seems like a giant waste of time to me. But what isn't a waste of time is talking about your oral health. I have questions for you. All right. How has your morning changed recently with all the stuff going on? For morning, for you, I think I mean afternoon. Yeah. changed recently with all the stuff going on uh but for morning for you i think i mean afternoon yeah uh i mean i get up play uh animal crossing make some coffee does it affect how you take care of your teeth i still brush them yeah do you take all the time to do so do you take like uh

a good two minutes well i use my quip so it automatically tells me the two minutes and then i'm like hey and then sometimes I'll do two more. So I'm like, well, let's do four. I'm sure dentists would be like, don't overdo it. You're going to wear your enamel. Well, that's probably true. Well, you know, we're all at home. We've got plenty of time to learn how to do things again, right?

People are learning how to bake bread. People are learning how to sew or learning how to paint or learning how to find themselves again. Whatever the case may be for you, learn how to brush your teeth correctly. It's that simple. 75% of us are using old, worn-out brushes. We're doing it ineffectively. We're not doing it long enough and lord knows even more people do not floss daily.

Healthy mouths are the key to a healthy body, any doctor can tell you this and we're trying to help you form good health habits. Quip makes it so easy because what they do is deliver those habits to you and on the cheap y'all. It's genius. Quip is an electric toothbrush that has timed sonic vibrations that every 30 seconds sort of say, Hey, switch it up. And it lasts for two minutes so you can get, you know, the four quadrants of your mouth. And with that comes anti-cavity toothpaste in either mint or watermelon now.

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That's meundies.com slash Crendor. That's me. Alright,.com slash Crendor. That's me. Alright, Crendor, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Traffic out there. Traffic out there is, you know, it is what it is.

There's not many cars, but there are a decent amount of cars. Some are speeding, so quit speeding, alright? Just because there's less cars doesn't mean you go fast. Vroom, vroom. Alright, stop. Slow down. Idiot. Also, you know, just looking down there, you really just come to realize the beauty of nature. And just the beauty of life.

And how we're polluting it with things like traffic uh and uh chapter copters but here's the thing i can't put this chapter copter away you know this is a part of me all right if they take my chapter copter they're gonna take me with it you ain't taking my chapter copter thank you thanks quendor it's got really emotional there at the end. I'm not sure. Anyway, let's go to the weather. Weather.

Weather. What is happening at the old weather desk? Let's see. Let's go. What if I throw in some some I don't know. Where should we go? I'm going to type in three letters.

All right. We're going to type in B. We're going to type in A. And we're going to type in V. Babylonia Gustavio. Close. Bavli Republic of Tatars in Russia.

Close enough. I was almost there. Almost. Bavli Republic of Tatars in Russia. 50 degrees. Feels like. What is weather?

What is weather? It's going be a 67, 72, 72, 74, 76, 70, 70, 71, 71, 65, 61, 60, 59, 62. So it's gonna be warm. That's gonna cool off. And, uh,

not really much rain, but, uh, there could be some rain down the line, and, uh, they're, uh, probably drinking vodka, because that's what i think of and i think of russia is the just wrestling bears out in the wilderness drinking vodka and like the those like hats the russian hats you know the ones Sure yeah My favorite part is that If you were in Russia And you said to them

What do you think of Americans They'd probably say Wrestling Horses I'm trying to think of the western version You know wearing those American hats Wrestling horses out in the wilderness Drinking whiskey instead of vodka

It'd be roughly the same thing, but just the Old West version. I think they'd think of baseball hats, a beer belly, and a barbecue. Then you have to include the babushka. If you're going to say beer belly, then you have to hit Russia with babushka, to be fair. All right. An old babushka lady. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine.

I'll take the trade for that. Yeah, you got to make it fair. Yeah, got to make it fair. Yeah. Calm it down, green cheetah. Now she's in Russia? Well, I am everywhere. Oh my god.

I was old when this world was young. Do you think the green cheetah helped spawn all these conspiracies? I know she was involved in some.

You know what would be good Have Michael Jordan A band from sports He go to the baseball He be terrible Yeah I mean to be fair the green cheetah herself Is a conspiracy

I'm not sure that she's real to be honest I haven't seen her in years That's the weather Okay yeah to be honest. I haven't seen her in years. That's the weather. Okay, yeah. And sports. Sports. Welcome to the sports desk today in sports.

What happened in sports? Oh, yeah. Last week, there was the NFL draft. So that was pretty fun. All the players got drafted from college. They did it all at home. You got to see the commissioner's mega basement with his fancy chair. You got to see all the prerecorded clips of fans being like, Woo, yeah.

And it's honestly, it actually went better than I thought it would. There's a couple errors where they'd be talking and then they cut to them, or they heard someone's MacBook getting turned up. But overall, it wasn't too bad. You got to see all the players and coaches' houses

and stuff. Some of the coaches had these crazy mansions, like the young cardinals coach had this like crazy mansion and then you cut to like andy reed who just won the super bowl he's just like in some like tiny shack house with a hawaiian shirt this is like all right that's right yeah uh so then you got to see their families everything some players there was like the they had like crazy family members there's like one guy got drafted and his girlfriend was there and the mom like threw her off. There's like the one guy who like

his girlfriend went to check his phone when he got drafted and he like yanked it out of her hand. Everyone's like, Oh shit. Is that like his like side girl or something? So, uh, there's like some crazy shit like that happening. But overall, uh, it's pretty fun. Uh uh i mean aside from that it's not much else that happened in sports and what is our big news story of the day florida man arrested after camping at disney's discovery island wait what yeah a florida man was arrested after authorities said he tried to quarantine on a shuttered island within walt disney world thinking it was a quote tropical paradise richard mcguire 42 was found whoa whoa time out time out yeah so he snuck onto disney property wait hold on did he know all right i'm shut up. I need to know the story.

Okay, I'll be quiet. Richard McGuire, 42, was found on Disney's Discovery Island on Thursday, police said. He told investigators he'd been there since Monday or Tuesday and had planned to stay there for at least a week. A security guard noticed McGuire using a company boat Thursday and called authorities. Despite numerous no trespassing signs and multiple lock gates mcguire told investigators he did not realize the area was off limits uh richard stated that he was unaware of that and that it looked like a tropical paradise according to the the arrest report he was arrested with charged arrested and charged with trespassing. Wait, what? How?

How did he get on the property? I don't know. Discovery Island was previously called Treasure Island and was the site of a zoological attraction that closed in 99. Right, but it's still in the Orlando property, right? Yeah. He didn't crash land there. He didn't sail up the coast and find it. How did he get on there?

And he's been living there this entire time? I guess so. Like, it's actually pretty impressive when you think about it. Yes, very. And no one is even addressing it in this article. This man is Survivorman. He just got up in there. What?

What? Like, it's, uh, there's no, like, there's no detailed questions either. It's just that happened. Like, okay, why did he choose to go there? Did he just wander across it and be like, gotta get in there? This is a deserted island. And then maybe he didn't even realize it was Disneyland. That's what I'm saying.

But, okay, I'm going to find a map. I'm going to find Disney World map. All right. Because, right, it's in Orlando, yes? Yes. It's the Orlando one. Oh, wow. That's crazy.

What? It's quite possible he could have. What? So in Disneyland, there's Disneyland proper, right? Which is it has, you know, the Magic Kingdom, all that stuff. And then there's the Disneyland that's like the Epcot Center Disneyland. And then there's all of the resorts around it. There's the Polynesian Village.

That's where I almost decapitated my cousin. What? When I was like 11, you can see it on the map. If you go to Disney World, you can see on the map the Seven Seas Lagoon. Disney World. You can see on the map the Seven Seas Lagoon. For some damn reason, back in the mid-90s, I think almost

late 90s, like 97 maybe, they had bumper boats there. And kids could ride bumper boats around the Seven Seas Lagoon. And my cousin and I were, you know, bumpering on the bumper boats, which you're supposed to do.

And so we decided it would be hilarious if we went to opposite sides of the lagoon and then at full speed went at each other. And so I guess a wave or something, like something happened where I flew up above her boat. And for a split second, everyone on shore thought I killed my cousin. We were fine, but I guess it looked like

I guess she ducked And it looked like I just cut her head off And everyone like lost their mind But I guess I guess it didn't happen Although you know there's like an alternate dimension Where I'm a killer That definitely happened

But anyway if you go out from the seven seasas Lagoon out into the literal Bay Lake, there's an island out there called Discovery Island. It's in the middle of a lake. Oh, yeah. I did see that. What's fascinating is I guess, in theory, you could discover it yeah I guess technically

it is kind of like a you know it is like a random island out in the middle of the water yes like I guess you could discover it huh well I managed to find another article that I think has a bit more detail.

Okay. Alright, so this one says Richard McGuire, 42, was caught camping out on Walt Disney World's Discovery Island despite the park being closed. On April 30th, the Alabama man was arrested on what he reportedly called a tropical paradise, which has been closed since 99. He stated that he made entry to the island to go camping on Monday or Tuesday. It revealed that Richard had planned on staying on the island for approximately one week. Deputies were called to the park after McGuire was spotted by security. I was about to say, there had to be security on that island. It is still in the middle of Disney property. It isn't like, it's in the north,

oh, actually, northwest is the Magic Kingdom, and then directly south is Epcot Center. Yeah. When deputies arrived, they reportedly sought the Disney intruder on foot, helicopter, and boat. He literally had everybody looking for him. According to a police report, a loudspeaker was used to get his attention mcguire allegedly claimed he was sleeping

inside of the island's building when police were calling out to him he didn't know he was not permitted on the property which had previously been named treasure island how mcguire made his way onto the property and across bay lake to get on the 11.5 acre island remains unknown. What? How did they see him now, but they didn't see him before? Don't they have, like, video? Great, great question. Fantastic question.

Well, we see him now, but how did he get here? Like, what was he, invisible this whole time up until he got there? Let's see mcguire's trespass trespassing prompted the park to ban him from all disney properties he's also charged misdemeanor for trespassing despite coronavirus prompt while disney world is shut down mid-march park potentially open as june guidelines for regional tests blah blah blah Nothing else about him So Yeah so I guess he just wanted to go camping there And he just got there somehow Some way

And uh That's the most amazing part There's his picture Yo that guy looks like he could He does Let me tell you something If he cleaned up He would look like one of those Survivor Man dudes

He would If he didn't look like he was a crazy person he could be a survivor man he's got like that kind of like oh yes yes yeah yeah he does have a little pout going on he's like you arrested me oh yeah oh no i got arrested oh uh man well i didn't expect that but here we Arrested. Man. Well, I didn't expect that, but here we are. All right. Well, I guess that's our big new story. I can't believe I'm so impressed with that guy.

It's illegal. Don't do that, but I'm impressed. Yeah. Call her. Anyway, that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching. However, you enjoying this podcast. Crandor hit him with the socials we got socials we're on

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