Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 242 - Nacho Problem

Episode Date: June 8, 2020

The boys are back and this time they've brought with them a famed spanish porn star, candle seller, and toad drug pusher! Also Crendor can't play video games, Jesse is loses time, and the world simply can't figure out how to play baseball again! All this and more on a brand new episode of Cox n' Crendor! Check out Hawthorne at http://hawthorne.co and use promo code COX to get 10% off your first purchase!

Today's episode is brought to you by Hawthorne. Hawthorne is going to get you smelling good and feeling nice when you go out, when we're finally allowed out. When you're finally allowed out, it's going to really help because everyone's going to be like, I'm used to smelling my home, but now what's that smell? Oh, baby. They're going to come running. I think that's how that works.

Anyway, let's get into this podcast. They're going to come running. I think that's how that works. Anyway, let's get into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning.

Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studios. Recorded. Wake your ass up. It's Cax and Crendo in the morning! Hello everybody it's time for the next episode of Cax and Crendo in the morning! Hey, where did

Where are you at right now? Where did you go? Uh, I'm just here. I just leaned back and went. Why were you leaning back? Well, I felt like it. Ah, all right. There's really no reason behind it. All right, Johnny Rage Against the Machine. Don't do it.

Because I felt like it. Why you got to ask questions? Don't ask questions. All right, damn. My bad. How's it going? Meep It's going It's flown by so fast but at the same time been so slow

I've had Every night this week Yeah but like this week especially Has been crazy I've been half asleep every day, half awake. I will go to bed and wake up every few hours. You're like one of those animals. They can shut half their brain off, go to sleep, the other half's awake.

I'm telling you, that's the way I've been lately. I'm working, but I'll finish working and then be like, what did I just do? What? Did I finish that? I don't remember any of it. Okay. Hold on. Are you still drinking copious amounts of caffeine?

No. No. I ran out of the coffee. Okay. Well, maybe I'm going through withdrawals. I don't know what's going on. You probably are. But I drank it all, and now I'm like, I've had dreams. Remember how we were talking about how I was like, man, I haven't had a good, sexy dream in forever.

Well, I finally did, but then a friend from the office showed up and was like, hey, guys, what are you doing in here? And he bugged us the entire time, so I couldn't get in. Even in my dream, Grendor. Even in my dream. Even your brain's just like, not today. Yeah, even in my dream. I got screwed out of it. Oh, story of my life. Well, what was the dream? of it. Oh, story of my life.

I was actually, well, what was the dream? I was in like, I was like in a house with a nondescript but very beautiful redhead. And like the entire time she's like, you know, nasty. She's whispering dirty shit and I'm like, oh, girl! But for some reason, Ted from our

office is there. And every time we're like about to like do anything he's like hey guys you want to watch firefly i've never seen it before i think it'd be really fun or he'd come in and be like you guys want to play checkers right like would show up and then she'd be like sure okay and i'd be like what no he's like he's your friend he's staying here and i'm like why is he here he's no friend of mine's staying here And I'm like why is he here He's no friend of mine I don't want him here

It was pretty much a sitcom And I hated it It sucked and then I woke up angry At Ted and Gerard Who employs Ted I was very mad I was mad at both of them I tweeted about it I woke up angry I now get how

Some people can go to bed dream a thing And wake up angry about the dream Because woke up angry. I now get how some people can go to bed, dream a thing, and wake up angry about the dream because I was angry about that dream. I woke up like, those sons of bitches. They ruined my entire night. Yeah. No, I feel that. It's actually interesting because I was listening to a podcast about sleep. This one guy, what's his name?

Matthew something. He's got like a bunch of things. Matthew something. Matthew something. There's a Joe Rogan one on sleep. Okay. He's a neuroscientist. So, of course, Joe Rogan's like,

dude, bro, I was dreaming. I just dreamt I was kickboxing people. I woke up, I was kicking the air and shit. Can we just time out really quick? Time out really quick. Yeah. I had forgotten Joe Rogan was on news radio. Do you remember that show?

I don't. I just remember Joe Rogan was, like, Fear Factor. Wait, he was Fear Factor, right? Yes, but if you want to get real tripped up, if you want to go see what a human Look like before and after steroids Go look up Joe Rogan on news radio And you'll be like that's not the same person

It's crazy It obviously is but like one of them is Like jacked Joe and the Other is like hey I'm Like a handsome New Yorker Joe It's crazy crazy Uh Oh that's uh that's a Matthew Like a handsome New Yorker, Joe. It's crazy. Crazy. Oh, that's Matthew Walker.

I typed in Joe Rogan's sleep. Matthew Walker. So it's funny because the dude gets into a lot of things you don't even think about with sleep. They talked about how your brain, when you go to sleep, let's say you played checkers the day before, right? So you go like, doop, doop, doop, you make all your moves. And they noticed in rats, when the rats would go to sleep, it would replay those moves. Well, they did it with sounds, so they would keyboard playing, right?

So they'd be like, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop. And your brain would be like, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da your brain would be like and it would play the sounds like 20 times in like a second like faster than you would be when you're awake so they said when you're asleep it literally takes the things you did that day and like repeats them 20 to 30 times so that you become better the next day at it which is why people are like wow i was doing this thing and then I slept and I was a lot better at it the next day. Cause your brain's like super processing being like learn, learn, learn, learn, learn.

And that's why if you don't get a lot of sleep, your brain's just kind of like, I wonder if that relates to when people are like, hey, sleep on it. Like if you have something to say, or if you're outraged or angry about something and you want to just spit fire, but like, yo, sleep on it like if you have something to say or if you're outraged or angry about something and you want to just spit fire but like yo sleep on it and the next day you wake up and you feel like you know what i don't need to do that i wonder if it works the same way that your brain processes

all the possible like what if we didn't burn down the bridge with your friend and instead just took a minute and like relaxed and calmed down and thought about it your brain starts thinking about it overnight like all right so here's the pros and cons of the situation i wonder i should listen that's advice i should take i always wondered about it i never do that i'm like i'm angry now though yeah no sleep is like he's talking about how a lot of people underate sleep because he's like people like, oh, you know, I'll sleep when I die. But he's like, sleep is like a vital thing. Like, there's a reason that you go into this state that is like against all evolutionary principles because you're like, I need to be awake. I need to eat.

I need to stay alive. And your brain's like, let's just shut down for eight hours. shut down for eight hours and so he's like just the fact that your body is burning calories and like going into this state that makes you susceptible to everything around you shows like how important it is because it's not going to be like hey let's do this for no reason that's actually fascinatingly true right yeah because when you're asleep you are at the mercy of everything you have no control over anything When you're asleep You give in to like Your body taking over

And your consciousness sort of like Takes the back seat And so that's why you have crazy dreams or whatever But you straight up Yeah you shut down If you like think about it as a machine Like you shut down for however long you sleep Hopefully 7-8 hours

Is what you should be getting But like fascinating that I mean that's spot on yeah that's actually really smart when you think about it is evolutionarily your body wouldn't do that unless it needed to do that or else you would never sleep because it makes no sense for early man to sleep. Yeah, because I never thought of it that way, too. I was like, wow, that makes a lot of sense. Your body's doing this thing. You would think, oh, it's got a reason to do it.

One thing you said is with inadequate sleep, you get lactate acid buildup over more of it. Your lungs' ability to inhale oxygen decreases your peak muscle strength decreases all your like athletic function decreases and you are at a higher injury risk and i think it was like if you have five or less hours of sleep your increased probability of injury is like 60 like it's insane I wonder if that has to do with Tiredness more than like My muscles have atrophied

Right I feel like isn't that something Where they say about driving as well And but if you look at the study It's not really about What they're saying it's more about The underlying factors like if you Don't sleep enough you're probably Tired which will likely cause the accident Rather than like my you don't sleep enough you're probably tired which will likely cause the

accident rather than like my body can't control itself right it's just you're tired and you make a mistake because you aren't focused well uh i think one of the things you said i haven't watched the whole thing one was like when you're wait a minute wait a minute i'm like halfway through i'm an expert on this now i haven't seen all of it. I feel like I understand the basics. It's like if you leave your computer on forever without restarting. It's like sluggish, right? It needs to restart and refresh. It's kind of like that with your brain.

If you're not sleeping, you're just kind of like... When you sleep, it kind of rebalances everything. Your chemicals, it rebalances. I think one of them was like it's the opposite of adrenaline it's like neurodrenaline and it's like another chemical for stress and when you go to sleep you're that chemical for stress plummets to like zero and as soon as you wake up it like shoots back up so he was saying like when you dream he's like think about it when you dream, he's like, think about it. When you dream,

your body paralyzes you. So you don't act out the dream. Then you get like amnesia because you don't remember the dream. And then when you wake up though, you're like, oh, this is like a thing that's like, why would I even write this down?

This is so clear to me. Like, why would I write down like, oh, this, you know, like this isn't even weird. And then you read it it like when you actually wake up and you're like what the shit that i dreamed that i felt was so real so he's like your brain is obviously in the state of

like oh yeah no this is right even though you're like oh yeah there are vampires attacking my like car like wait what i'm i'm i'm curious if i know that I was reading an article today about stress and what the stay-at-home orders and the pandemic and now the protests and all stuff, like what it's doing to people mentally And how it affects their Sleeping habits and their dreams And yeah apparently A lot of people are reporting Crazy dreams over the last Few weeks like not you know Your normal stress dreams but Like times 20

And I'm I wonder if that has to do With your stress Whatever it is that you said, your stress hormone. Neuroadrenaline. Sure, your neuroadrenaline. I think you have multiple types. Whatever, maybe that doesn't shut off.

Or if it does shut off, it's your brain trying to cope with all the stress that your body feels. And so it puts it into uh like a dream form because i've had like i said i keep waking up uh in the middle of the night like several times and for no reason not like i gotta go to the bathroom reasons or like no i'll just like wake up and i'll feel fine it's just that i'm awake all of a sudden i I'm like, oh, and I just go back to sleep. But it's always immediately after an intense dream. And I've noticed that when I have these intense dreams, I will close my eyes, have the stream, wake up, look at the clock, and maybe an hour has gone by, but the dream felt like 30 hours.

It felt like days. And it consistently blows my mind. I'm like, am I inceptioning myself? What is happening right now? Because I will sleep and then pop awake and be like, oh, my God, what a crazy dream. Look at the clock and no time's passed at all. Yeah. I'm like, I feel like I slept for days.

What just happened? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. He's actually talking a bit about dreams and how it was like when you have things that impair REM sleep. So when you dream, you're in REM sleep. when you sleep when you dream you're in REM sleep so you're in rapid eye movement that's where your eyes are just freaking out and you're just like and that's when you're dreaming that's when you're paralyzed which is like it's the deepest

form of sleep and so what happens is like uh they said either it's a byproduct of something like it could be your brains like sorting through information and doing stuff so the dreams are just a byproduct of that of the brain doing that but he was saying that wouldn't really make sense uh from like a neurological point of view so he thinks that it's just your it could be your brain like learning new things or it could be your brain like trying to figure out uh like you know like you said like you went you did uh you learned how to play the piano so your brain is like all right well we did that today let's try to learn it like a little better and it's trying to like

you know make you learn faster essentially there's like a mother a bunch of other theories with it but it's i don't know shit's crazy plus he said a lot of people with alcohol and marijuana and like those types of things can suppress rem sleep and so you don't really a lot of people like i don't have a lot of dreams or stuff but a lot of people just don't get rem sleep or enough rem sleep because they have things that impair the rem sleep and he said a lot of times when people that do a lot of weed or alcohol they stop it they like get crazy dreams because your body's been lacking REM sleep and that just like comes flooding in I wish I could say that was the cause I wish you could be like look dude I was high this

week like high but no I wish I wish I could say that was it at least I'd have creative fun stories to tell I'm very fortunate that I don't have to leave because I have my apartment complex, for some reason, every few days. Every other day has a food truck outside. And they're always like, great. We had a Banh Mi food truck the other day. Come on, man. I was like, I don't even have to leave where I live. I can put on a mask, go downstairs, grab a sandwich, come back up, and I'm like, I didn't even have to talk to nobody.

That was great. Just grab a banh mi. Grab a banh mi. Get some pickled whatever the hell's on there. It's delicious. It's like pickled cabbage. It's like carrots and cucumber and onion. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Radish, maybe something on there. And then meat. And then, like, it's in a baguette. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. You'll baguette. And the jalapenos, you can get them.

Those are some good eats. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've been trying to do a lot of inventory stuff. So basically the reason why I didn't do much this week, I don't know if I mentioned this on the podcast last time, but I was recording or editing Final Fantasy stuff, and I realized that some of the recordings that I had done were corrupted. stuff and I realized that some of the recordings that I had done were corrupted.

So I literally had to re-record slash re-edit slash mix old audio with new audio so I could have initial reactions to things that people want to see. Do all of that. It took so much time. It was so unnecessary. I know for the people who watched it, thank your sweethearts. I love you. But oh my God. If it had been any other – like there's times where I've quit games for less.

I'm just like, oh. It was so much work. It was such a pain in the ass, and I hated it. But it got fixed, and so we're good. It's all done. The series is over. But what a giant pain in the ass. So I spent so much time working on that and it sucks. Cause it's like, I already did this and I have to do it

again. And so I did that. And yeah, it's like, is that kind of work where I was just so, so bored and outraged at having to do a thing that the week just sort of sucked. It was a, it was a bad long week. It's one of those weeks that you can't really explain to – if I was dating someone right now, I don't know how I would explain this week to them. Like, look, babe, I just got to redo the same thing you saw me do the week before, but this time I have to replay it and mix the old thing and the new thing. And, you know, I wish I could hang out with you,

but this will literally take 14 hours a day. I don't know how to describe this to you, but I will literally be editing for 14 hours every day this week. So love you, baby. I don't know how I can do it. I don't know how to describe that. Bless anyone who is dating anyone who edits their own videos.

Oh yeah. No, I don't do that shit. There's no time for anything. Well, I edit my own, but, you know, my editing is a lot different than a lot of other people. My editing is like, you know, non-content style editing. Essentially, that's how I made WoW videos.

Thinking back to it, because back in the day, like 10 years ago, and I'd make my WoW video, I'd be like editing film and shit And I'm like I don't know what to do for this scene and instead of being like let's open up some Some like footage and work around like I was drawn in Microsoft Paint, and I did as Larry go slap that on That's the lesson I got I got so this past week Chris and I had a talk with our YouTube guy

And He literally was like You're spending too much time on your content, stop that And I was like, dude I want to create good stuff And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're spending too much time on it I'm like But I wanted to give

People the experience Of me first experiencing a game. And he's like, yeah, yeah, but that got ruined. So why did you redo it? I was like, because I wanted to show people what was going on and also give them my reactions. But also, you know, I wanted to include the new footage VO. And he's like, that's too much. I'm like, no, it's not.

It seems like I'm doing the right thing. He's like, it's not the right thing. You're wasting your time. I'm like, so what should I do? And like I'm doing the right thing. He's like, it's not the right thing, you're wasting your time. I'm like, so what should I do? And he's like, alright, here's the deal. On YouTube these days, put your camera on stuff, put your face there, people want to see your face when you record stuff, and don't do Let's Plays anymore. I'm like, what do you mean?

He's like, don't do them. Do like a 15 minute best of clips. And I'm like, but everyone does that. And he's like, yeah yeah, you should too. And I'm like, but everyone does that. And he's like, yeah, yeah, you should too. And I'm like, but my viewers are going to hate that. And he's like, I don't, you know what? You got to find new viewers then. I was like, this sucks.

He's like, yeah, it does suck, but you can do better. I'm like, oh God. Now here's the thing. People probably would enjoy that, but they also want the other thing as well. I know, but the problem is they also want the other thing as well i know but the problem is is that the other thing like because i take my time and putting together like i want the audio and video to be good i take my time and rendering it like it takes time to render a thing like i click render and then my computer is useless for a while. And so I have to render and upload and make sure the audio is good. I check every audio file to make sure it isn't corrupted or whatever. And I'll do a whole thing.

And he's like, don't do that. But I want to make sure it's fine. And he's like, it doesn't matter. The problem is my experience with YouTube in the past is it's ruined me to trust in YouTube. The problem is my experience with YouTube in the past is it's ruined me to trusting YouTube. YouTube, sometimes I would upload a thing and the audio would be wrong or there would be weird glitches and I don't trust anything anymore. And so I'm like, oh, I'll do it myself. And that just ruins everything I do.

And every time I want to do anything that's like new, I'm like, yeah, all right, here's an idea that i have i'll get like 80 emails are like that idea sucks jesse stick to what you're good at i'm like okay yeah yeah it's it stinks because i'm always like i got new ideas for shit this would be great and then people are like not for me and no one watches it i'm like cool all right i guess i'll i guess i'll go back to playing let's play so at least i can earn some money for a living because it's like okay which again if i'm just gonna let's plays i might as well just go to twitch oh yeah i like uh i played around with all those things forever and then i was like all right if i'm gonna play games i'm just gonna do

it on twitch and then i'll put it up on youtube from twitch so that's what i do and then I was like, alright, if I'm going to play games, I'm just going to do it on Twitch, and then I'll put it up on YouTube from Twitch. So that's what I do. And then on YouTube, I do like my, uh, I'll do like anything that I don't really want to stream, or that I think is more fun in a video format. Or like rewatchable. So if I'm like, here's my opinion on having fun with YouTube

and trying to stream, and then I'll put that on YouTube. And then I'll be like, here's fishing with Crendor Dan Giesling and Sinvicta oh here's a new Blood Bowl season because I just started a new Blood Bowl season I'll put that up or I'm like hey here's a new thing I found in Shadowlands there's a new death animation which I literally I didn't even know it was a thing

I died in the alpha and then there's a new death animation and I was like what the shit I'm going to put this up so I did so really I've just hit the point where I just kind of do what I want and have fun I wish I lived that life yeah no it's

probably not as effective but it's a lot more fun and less stressful doing it the way I'm doing it I can tell I can tell everyone seems to be living their best life and I'm like yeah I have to edit sorry guys I can like, yeah, I have to edit. Sorry, guys. I can't stream with you.

I have to edit these videos tonight. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I'll pop open my, like I did my lore for noobs with Noble, so it's me being like, Noble, what the shit's going on in WoW? And he's like, well, let me tell you, my friend. And I'm like, well, that doesn't make any sense. And he's like, I know it does not make any sense. And I'm like, all right let me tell you, my friend. And I'm like, well, that doesn't make any sense. And he's like, I know it does not make any sense. And I'm like, all right.

That sounds like a great video. I wish I could have been a part of that. It is. It's my annual, like, I ask him what's going on because I have no idea video. That's great. I was like, all right, well, it's nighttime. Now I play Paper Mario. So I played Paper Mario on the Thousand Year Door.

And for every time I streamed that game, I beat it now. Every time I'd play it, somebody would be like, Credor, did you know you can block by hitting A? And I'd be like, I'm trying. Because I realized most people

are good at video gaming. But me, I am not good at video gaming. And so every time I'd be like, I'd be like, I'm like trying to do it. And people like, did you know you could do the thing? And I'm like, I'm trying to do the thing. All right, I'm trying. And then everyone's like, but it was a fun time.

Sounds great. Yeah. I realize everyone likes to play games differently. Yeah. Yeah I realize everyone Likes to play games differently Yeah And I A great example is God of War games You can get all sorts of different

Weapons and combos and what not But anytime there's a leveling tree I always go for the passives Because I just don't want to learn new things And I just want to kill guys and make it look pretty And people get so upset They're just like Jesse You're not doing it right

I'm like yeah but I'm still winning though right And they're like yeah but you're not getting the optimal Murder kills and I'm like Yeah I know but I'm still doing it I'm getting through the game Oh yeah It's so frustrating

I'm like okay cool No I'm getting through the game. Oh, yeah. It's so frustrating. I'm like, okay, cool. Thank you. No, it's fun how everyone plays differently. Like, with me, like, playing Paper Mario, I'm like, I'm doing the main story. And people are like, you can do the side quest. I'm like, I don't care. Not doing it.

I don't care. I'm going to get the main story done, and then I beat the game. And I beat it, and people are like, no, you can go to the dungeon where there's, like, a hundred battles. And I'm like, nope, I've beat the game beat the game we're good actually you're not done like nah good my thing is like i'm not a completionist person in fact i'm not really a single player game person every once in a while i'll do it because you know i like nintendo single player games and then there's like the occasional non-nintendo single player game i have a good time in but i'm a very multiplayer heavy uh if you couldn't tell by me playing like blood bowl magic the gathering online hearthstone uh any battle royale thing that's come out uh you know i like me some

competitive online gaming league of legends valorant I don't know that you like it. I would say more that you play them than people spam angry DanTan emotes at you. Speaking of which, he made us a new thumbnail screen. What? For what? For when? For who? For Cox and Crandor YouTube. So,

prior to the YouTube channel Cox and Crandor, we had no thumbnails. It was literally just a background. Then I started experimenting, throwing up some, like, wacky backgrounds for Cox and Crendor. But people were like, ah, it's missing that, like, you know, that goofy animated flair. So I was like, dang, all right, draw me something good. Somebody was like, just have YouTube looking at a computer screen, and the screen has what you're talking about on it. And I was like, genius!

So I did that so like the last one if you look it's us talking and then there's like coffee beans because there's cocks and the caffeine in the morning and people love it where people like yeah yeah because people like prior to this right you don't know what's going on in the episodes if you see the thumbnail you're just like

whatever but now you see it and you get like a little glimpse into it like ooh they can talk about coffee today they can talk about monkeys. They're going to talk about camping. They're going to talk about cow. Because the prior episode was Randy Monkey. So I got some copyright-free image of a monkey being like, oh. It's pretty great.

Because the monkey was Randy. As we know, that monkey was Randy. Yeah. No, it fits perfectly if you go here go look at the uploads right now look at this all right you can see it just look at uploads and see all the thumbnails I've done going going there right now all right I do I do see that Randy monkey I do see the monkey but yeah I see the new one as well

You're gonna go back to the old ones and add new Yeah that's the plan I'm gonna go back to all the old ones and like Reboot them That's so funny That's great that's like nice We're looking good We're looking more professional

What is this Cox and Crandor, episode 237. You just found a stock photo of a woman who's like, Oh! It's titled, What Did I Just Watch? So she's like, Oh, what did I just watch? I don't know. You gotta listen to find out.

I really should keep track of what's going on in this channel. Best part was when I posted the thing, some people thought I was you, and they're like, Ah, so this is what you're doing instead of uploading Final Fantasy, Jesse? And I'm like, he doesn't give a shit about that. I run this. Crandor runs Barter Town.

This is my town, scrub. So yeah, that's what I've been doing over there. Yeah, yeah. Let's get a little more professional. Of course. Speaking of professional Hey everybody It's time for us to talk to you about Hawthorne

I know Hawthorne Is here to replace that Blue polo That polo blue whatever that junk was called That you got as a gift probably In high school Or going to Sephora blue polo, that polo blue, whatever that junk was called, that you got as a gift probably in high school, or going to Sephora to try and find a cologne,

or buying Old Spice at the grocery store or something. Classic. Hophorn is here for you to create a scent that's going to give you an awesome cologne that's going to make you smell great. Crandor has some. I have some. I use it. I have some on right now for reasons I'm not even sure. No one else is here to smell it but me, and I smell great.

It's wonderful. Yeah, I squirt some on every day. I'm like, who knows who could come over? I could get like a visit from a woman in your dream. Yeah, an attractive scientist from the CDC. Come over. I could get like a visit from a woman in your dream. Yeah, an attractive scientist from the CDC. She's like, Jesse, you've infected my heart. It's love.

And I'm like, come on in, doctor. She's like, my name is Dr. Chase Meridian. And I'm a scientist with the Research Institute for Sexual Studies. And I'm like, doctor, what do you need me to do? How can I help? She's like, well, I have to run a full exam on you. Okay, doctor, I'll do it for our country. Yeah. Anyway, Hawthorne.

Hawthorne is going to get you a scent that will lure Dr. Chase Maruti into your house is what I'm trying to say. Wow. Smelling good is key when it comes to Hawthorne, and Hawthorne smells really good. The reason why is because you designed the scent for yourself. You go there. You take a quiz The minute you get there the quiz is like it literally asks you questions like how often do you shower? What kind of facial hair do you have or?

What kind of deodorants are you using how sweaty do you get? What's your BO like it gets really even like what's your favorite drink? Do you smoke? Like that kind of thing. Asks you a bunch of questions, what you like to do for a night out, that kind of stuff. You complete it. And when you're done, it gives you, I assume algorithmically through the power of scientists, Dr. Chase Meridian, you get a scent that is a work scent and a scent that is a play scent. And that translates to kind of all of the products they have that you can get from deodorants to shampoo to body wash. And you can use these colognes for different times of the day, right?

Again, because I spend so much time partying, I'm like halfway through my party scent. I am just like, my work scent. I am just like my work scent. So much partying by yourself. What else am I going to do? What else am I going to do? I live every life. Every life? I live every life like a party. That's a quote. But it actually

is something that a lot of people have complimented on and have been like, wow, that smells really good. In the times before when we could actually go out, everyone seemed to notice it and I was like, awesome. So, I'm glad people digged the smell. So, yeah, all you do is you go on, take a two minute very quick survey. It'll give you all the information you need for your two colognes that are the best for you. One for work, best for you. One for work, one for play.

It's totally risk-free with free shipping and free returns. So if you don't like it, you can just send it back and you can try it again. And maybe, like, you know, there's a better scent out there for you. Maybe, like many quizzes, you weren't truthful with yourself. Don't be one of those people that's like, I like to go out and party, but really you're at home watching Netflix. Be truthful. Yeah. Check out Hawthorne at hawthorne.co, that's Hawthorne with an E, and use the

promo code COX to get 10% off your first purchase. Free shipping, free returns, risk free. That's H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E dot C-O. Use code COX to get 10% off your first purchase. Do it.

Now let's go to chapter number seven. This guy with the crendor. How's that travel? Hey, what's up from the chapter copter? You know, today I was kind of thinking about something. That is, what even is traffic? Is traffic a lot of cars backed up? Or is traffic just any amount

of cars out on the road? So I decided to take a look. The act of traffic is vehicles moving on a road or public highway. Here it is in a sentence. A stream of heavy traffic. So actually, traffic can be just one car. If you're a vehicle moving on the road, you could be a boat on the road and you'd be traffic. So it's just any type of activity in a vehicle on a road or public highway. The more you know. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk. How's the weather?

Weather time. Time. Weather time. Turned on early. Oh, okay. Weather time. Cristobal slowly moves east. What? Oh, yeah.

Tropical Storm Crystal Ball. I thought Woppy said Crystal Ball slowly moves east. And I was like, what the hell does that mean? The Crystal Ball moves east. Figure out what it closes on the spring of the night. I was like, we have gotten to Twilight Zone territory. Let's go to

Crystal Bay Nevada. Crystal Bay? Yeah, Crystal Bay in Nevada. Where's the bay in Nevada? That's a great question. Isn't there a lake?

Crystal Bay, Nevada. Weather, 36 degrees Fahrenheit. Mostly cloudy, 25% chance of precipitation through 8 p.m. Today, 35% chance rain. Daily forecast, Monday, 59 degrees Fahrenheit. Tuesday, 68 degrees Fahrenheit. Wednesday, 72 degrees Fahrenheit. Thursday, 72 degrees Fahrenheit.

Crystal Bay, Nevada, I think is a lie. What? A lie. Go to a map. Go to a map. What? A lie? Go to a map. Go to a map. Scroll all the way out. You'll notice that it is sort of in that Tahoe National Forest area.

Oh, yeah. On a line that separates Nevada and California. And if you scroll in, the line of separation goes right through that town. Are you telling me that someone can live in Crystal Bay, California and work in Crystal Bay, Nevada? What?

That's like one of those Kansas City things. Yeah, what the? Look at that. It goes right down Stateline Road. Literally, Stateline Road. Oh, yeah. It's right on the border. That turns to Crystal Drive.

There's the Crystal Bar, Crystal Bay Casino at the Crystal Bar. Temporarily closed. And there's the Crystal Bay Motel. Wow. Oh, Jim Kelly's Nugget. What is Jim Kelly's Nugget? Temporarily closed. I got to see what Jim Kelly's Nugget. What is Jim Kelly's Nugget? Temporarily. I got to see what Jim Kelly's Nugget looks like.

Jim Kelly's Nugget looks like a Shoney's. Oh, my God. It pretty much is a burger stand. I don't know what a Shoney's is. It's like a Midwestern Denny kind of thing. Pittsburgh, I think, has a lot of Shoney's. There is, if you click Jim Kelly's Nugget The photos are

Kind of old looking casino Outside that looks like It's a restaurant you take your kids And then literally A hamburger with cheese fries Yeah You're correct Wow that is

100% a place that you would take grandma. It lets grandma smoke in there and she gets a bergie. Grandma's probably driving down there every weekend. She probably lives on Crystal Drive. Just drives right up. Jim Colley's Nugget. What does the outside of the Crystal Bay Casino look like? What is Crystal Bay Casino? Crystal Bay Casino look like? What is Crystal Bay Casino?

Crystal Bay Casino looks like Oh my god it looks like a 1940's club Oh my god Look at this place Oh my god it really does It looks like a place you'd see the Rat Pack But it's like also

Out in the wilderness Yeah it's right on the lake that's so weird that is i mean look i guess if you're in nevada no matter where you are that's and then for some reason one of the photos they have is of a brain that's a geode what it's a sculpture of a man whose brain is a geode. Don't question what I just said. It's there. Apparently they have a lot of geode sculptures. And crystal sculptures.

Yo, they also got Soule Domain. That's a fancy ass restaurant. And they got pictures of like bears. Oh my God. Look at that. Crandor's leaving to go there right now. They got pictures of, like, bears looking at the moon in the woods, like paintings.

I mean, this place, the Border House at Crystal Bay. The Border House. Ah, that's the actual, that's the hotel. Go to Sous-Lé-Domaine. So, basically, there are, in this one, the border house and you gotta go that's the actual that's the hotel go to sule basically there are in this one literally across the california state line are three tiny casinos huh well i mean it's not too surprising it's nevada yeah that's so that's so wild but that's like that's it that. That little town right there

on the border, that's such a literally this town is like eight roads. But the whole crystal bay itself. One of them is casinos. It seems like a resort town, I suppose. Oh, come on. One of the beaches is called Speedboat Beach. No speedboats are allowed here. It's just a name, sir.

Speedboats have been banned since the 80s. And I guess this is all on... What lake is this? Oh, it's Lake Tahoe. Oh, never mind. It's Lake Tahoe. Oh, it's Lake Tahoe. I like how we were like, where is Lake Tahoe. Oh, never mind. It's Lake Tahoe. Oh, it's Lake Tahoe. I like how we were like, where is this?

Oh, yeah. I like how we were like, we were like, where is this place in the middle of nowhere? And as I scroll out, I'm like, oh, it's Lake Tahoe. And there's a ski resort. Yeah, everyone knows Lake Tahoe. Alright, whatever. I mean, I know of

Lake Tahoe. I don't know. Right, I've never been there. I know it exists, and I know that's definitely where people have gone to get coronavirus. I know that. Oh, yeah, no doubt. Yeah, that's the one where every time you see on the news, all the people, like, all their boats are tied together like idiots. Lake Tahoe. If I can't lick my neighbor's boat, then I don't want to live.

I mean, look, America, dude. I'm going to lick what I'm going to lick. Government ain't going to tell me what to stick my tongue on. That's the weather. Alright, let's go to sports. Sports! Welcome to the sports desk.

Actually, some big Sports news this week So the NBA is scheduled to come back At the end of July I believe For their playoff season right Yep and they'll be playing in Disney Land Or Disney World Not Disney Land

So I believe it is July 31st tip So it looks like July 31st When the NBA is going to come back NHL I can't wait to see the Mickey Mouse sponsorship There's going to be so much Good job everyone

Can't wait to play the basketball Gosh Go LeBron Actually they won't say that Because LeBron. Actually, they won't say that because LeBron's with Bugs Bunny and stuff. Wait, is he? Isn't that the whole movie? Space Jam 2?

Oh, that's right. He's making Space Jam 2. So isn't that like, you know, he's with those other cartoons. They can be like, gosh,iannis Antetokounmpo I would love it if that's what Goofy said I think that'd be amazing He probably will say it Giannis to win MVP

Dude have you seen Giannis? That dude's insane He's got like a 10 foot wingspan Yes I have Giannis wingspan dude's insane. He's got like a 10-foot wingspan. Yes, I have. Giannis wingspan. 7-foot-3 wingspan. Well, 10-foot seemed more impressive. 7 feet's like, alright. It's alright. That's a big-ass wingspan.

But I mean, is he flying? I don't know. Is he taking off and flying? Probably. He flies to every game. He spins like a helicopter. It's wild. And then the NHL is going to be starting, I think, around the same time. I don't know if they've set a date yet, but I think it's about the same time.

And then, the... wait, that is it. Baseball hasn't figured anything out somehow. But, you know, I'm sure they will at some point. I'm just going to be excited to watch. How hasn't baseball figured it out? It's outdoors. It should be the most

safe of them all. Yeah, and they don't even have actual contact. They're not guarding each other, hitting each all. Yeah, and they don't even have actual contact. They're not guarding each other or hitting each other. They're just standing out there being like, yep. All right. You don't even want to get close to the other people on defense. I don't know. Yeah, I don't.

I can't think of why. Even in the dugouts, you can socially distance. Just have them sit on little benches outside of the dugouts. Like, there's so many ways to do it that are so easy. Okay. Apparently, a lot of it's because of the players' association and the owners not agreeing on things. Well, that sounds about right.

Yeah, so I think it's most things where the owners are like, we'll give you, like, 30% of the money. And they're like, no, we want more money. And then they go back and forth and they're like, well, and then by the time you know it, we're in like October. That sounds accurate. I imagine the owners are just like, you know what? Everyone gets viruses.

You'll be fine. Get out there. Listen, all I know is I'm going to have hockey, basketball, and football going on. I'm ready. You're about to. I'm'm going to have hockey, basketball, and football going on. I'm ready. You're about to. I'm never going to see you again. I'll be gone.

Oh, I didn't know why I thought of this. I've been watching old Simpsons episodes on Disney+. Sure, same. And I love the one. It's got the juice loosener. Remember that? No. He's like, I'm Troy McClure.

And he's like, are you remember that and he's like i'm troy mcclure and he's like are you tired of making orange juice like this and he just smashes the orange on his face and like squeezes out the orange juice and then homer does it and he's like you mean there's a different way and then dr nick comes out and he's like hi everybody and they're like hi dr nick and then he's like here's my juice loosener and he like throws a whole bag of oranges in and it's like, here's my juice loosener. And he like throws a whole bag of oranges in and it's like, and he's like, wow, I can barely hear anything. It's so quiet. And it's just like, and then like one little drop of orange juice comes out and he's like, wow, you're telling me you got all this juice from that one bag of oranges. And I just love the, just the play on like the infomercial, you know, check it out.

The juice loosener. What does that have to do with right now? I don't know, but I just thought of it and I wanted to bring it up before I forgot. I was waiting for like the connection to sports. You know, I thought you were going to talk about like, I don't know, something. No. No. No. I do remember the one where Homer plays baseball

and he's giving them all the signs and then Homer's like, man, I don't know a word he's saying. Why don't you just let me bat and he gets hit in the head and they win. Yeah. I mean, that's the famous one. Yeah. That's a good one. And that's sports.

Alright. Let's go to our big news story of the day been linked to us a bunch um and i linked it to you i uh okay i think i forgot already what this is but i'm ready for it all right get ready the the tweet says spanish porn star nacho vidal who likes to advertise his aromatic candle shaped like male genitalia on Twitter That's halfway. has been arrested on manslaughter charges following a man's death during a mystic ritual in which he inhaled psychedelic

toad venom. The top replies someone being like they've come a long way since elementary school mad libs. It's the mad libs All right So this really this really happened. They did this guy so wrong because

the first half of that is totally unnecessary. I know. They're like, Spanish porn star Nacho Vidal, which by the way, Spanish porn star Nacho Vidal is a great name.

That's a solid Spanish porn star Nacho Vidal is a great name. That's a solid Spanish porn star name. It is. And then. It's Nacho Vidal. Who then has penis sculptures they sell online. Yeah. Unnecessary. Totally.

The first two bits of this, totally unnecessary. And then was involved in a ritual with toad venom or some shit? Yes. Oh, God. All right, read this. This is amazing. A porn star has been arrested on manslaughter charges following a man's death during a mystic ritual in which he inhaled psychedelic toad venom. Spanish police said Wednesday.

Again, we don't need to know that he's a porn star. I doubt that Nacho Vidal is even his real name. At least unlike some of the other things we've read, we get the full details here. They really are going in. I appreciate that. Nacho Vidal was detained last week in the southern, southeastern Valencia region

in connection with the death of a man in July 2019, media identified the victim as fashion photographer Jose Luis Abad. Time out. Time out. Yeah. They're going to say that he's a fashion photographer when we all know that dude was shooting porn. Oh, yeah. No doubt.

There's no way you hang out with famous porn star Nacho Vidal as a fashion photographer. Bullshit. That guy, see, they did him fine. Just because he died, they were like, ah, fashion photography. Yep, that's it. Yeah, no, that's got to be, oh my god, I just went to a different article and saw this guy's face. Who is that? I think that's Nacho.

That's... Alright, I don't know what's going on in Spanish porn films, but I never want to see that face in Spanish porn. That is the face of a man who... Like, it's not an unattractive face. It's a scary face. Oh, yeah, that's a scary face. Those are eyes that are terrifying

you can always tell the crazy people by their eyes oh my god that guy's eyes are out of control it's like you can see they're out of control or they're just like they're in their own world if there's anyone i ever thought would kill someone with toad venom it is this guy oh yeah he'd like line up his pictures with other people he'd be like nope that's the Toad Venom one 100% This dude looks like At first I thought you were saying this was the guy who died And I was like I guess I can see him being a photographer

But you're telling me this is the porn star I have problems with this He must have a giant penis For people to be focusing on anything else besides his crazy eyes must be huge. It's gotta be. So, let's see. Where did I leave off?

Police operation began following the victim's death during a celebration of a mystic ritual based on the inhalation of venom of the Bufo Alvarius Toad. Bufo Alvarius. Are you looking up this toad?

Yes. Hey, it's a toad. Colorado River Toad. Is it a little tiny baby toad? Is it like red and black? No, he's just like normal. He's like gray. Grayish green. This one's like a, is it like red and black? No, he's just like normal. He's like gray, grayish green. This one's like a darker green.

That'd be cool looking at least. He's just a normal ass Toad. Thing is like these pictures make the Toad look really big, but Toads are like the size of your hand or smaller. Well, it depends. There could be like a big Toad. There probably are some big Toads, some honker Toads. You know big Toad.

Honker Toads. There's two toads just chilling yeah i mean it's not a frog toads can be big frogs can be frogs are usually tiny yeah that's true um all right toads uh in oh wait the to, a rare species, which is native to the San Aran desert, stretching from Northern Mexico into California and Arizona, secretes venom containing very powerful natural psychedelic substance known as 5-MeO-DMT. Huh. Can I just tell you, I just discovered that apparently this, there's a reason why this happened then.

So in another article, the hottest new psychedelic drug among trendy New Yorkers is illegal toad venom, September 28th, 2019. They apparently leave users immobile and unaware and can cause extreme emotional reactions euphoria and vomiting according to drug researchers but when people who are on the drug describe it they describe it as a total fusion with god well well all right sure all right um its effects have been compared to ayahuasca a powerful you nailed it a powerful hallucinogenic concoction from the amazon consumed as part of a

ritual yeah following an 11th month 11 month police arrested Vidal, one of his relatives, and an employee of suspicion of manslaughter and crimes against public health. Investigators say they discovered rituals were being carried regularly on grounds they offered medical benefits. This is crazy. that I found that talks about how there's like rich socialites in New York doing this drug and how it costs between $200 and $500 a person and they hire

a shaman to come and guide them through it and they say that in this article one example is that this person attended a gathering at a mansion in the Hamptons where they all smoked this drug, this venom that a shaman brought them, 21 people, all in white robes, which sounds crazy.

There was drum beating in the background, and a leader read a prayer about love and held the pipe to each guest's lips. Some people moaned, cried, or convulsed on their backs, while others started dancing, singing, or chanting. Once the venom called Bufo Alvarius

That's the one. Once it wears off, you experience an afterglow that can make you make major life changes. I immediately broke up with my long Term boyfriend I was just So sure everything I was deciding was right Another person here says

If you get dosed too high It's called a whiteout A disassociative state from your mind and body Anxiety can persist for days We've heard people going into the emergency room So this sounds It's called a whiteout, a disassociative state from your mind and body. Anxiety can persist for days. We've heard people going into the emergency room. So this sounds like it's something you shouldn't do. Oh, that would definitely be me.

I'd be going in for anxiety without a doubt. But this guy who wrote the article says, even though there's a downside, my life has never been the same since. I don't know if that's a good statement. It wasn't like I'm doing so much better or all these things. It's literally just like, my life has never been the same since. Huh. Here we are.

But in reality, this apparently harmful ancestral ritual posed a serious health risk, lowering people who are easily But in reality, this apparently harmful ancestral ritual posed a serious health risk, luring people who are easily influenced, vulnerable, or who are seeking help for illnesses or addictions using alternate methods. Local press said the ceremony took place in the country residence of Vidal,

a media-savvy porn star in his mid-40s whose Twitter feed is full of ads for his 25-centimeter aromatic candles of the male genitalia. Available in black, white, or cerise. Okay. Yeah. Or cerise.

Cerise. Yeah. Well, looking at, so I guess he's got like a 10 inch wang. I put 25 centimeters In the thing Because I couldn't figure it out with my brain Well it makes sense now, now everything checks out But it's also crazy

Yeah Nacho Vidal It's Nacho Vidal What do you know What do you know Porn star by day Shamanistic drug rituals by night. Actually, none of that seems surprising to me for a porn star.

All that seems to check out. How else do I stay hard for five hours? My agro wears off. Thanks to this toad venom. Actually, his name's not your adult. It can't sound like that. It has to sound like thanks to this Toad Venom,

I can stay hard all day. Don't worry. It is I, Nacho Vidal. He becomes painful after hour seven. Do not see a doctor. They won't be able to save you. See a shaman.

All right. That's it for us. Thank you so much for listening and watching. However you are enjoying this podcast, Crendor, hit them with the socials. We got socials. Check out those thumbnails on YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. All one word. You can also check out the animations on YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor. You can also go to all our other places, SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast, all one word. You can also check out the animations on YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. You can also

go to all our other places, SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crandor. We're on Spotify. We're on iTunes. We're probably somewhere else. Also, check out our own stuff. YouTube.com slash Crandor. YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitter.com slash Crandor. Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitch.tv slash

Crandor. Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox. Facebook.com slash Crandor. Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox. Instagram.com slash Notorious Cox. Instagram.com slash Crand facebook.com instagram.com instagram.com and and and and and

and and and and and and and and

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and and and and and and and and and and anyway thank you we'll see you guys next time and as always to be continued