Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 248 - The Ballad of Horsella

Episode Date: July 20, 2020

The boys are back and this time they just want to know it's Crendor's birthday... OR IS IT?! We take a walk down memory lane to Pawn Stars and then we wind our way down to the airport where a man just wants to take weed to his girlfriend who is possible a horse. You know, your average Cox n' Crendor episode. If you go to http://getquip.com/CRENDOR right now, you’ll get your first refill FREE. Check out http://hawthorne.co and use promo code COX10 to get 10% off your first purchase!

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Get your teeth looking sparkly and fresh for when you finally go back outside and everyone can see them because you don't need to wear a mask anymore because it's the year 2021 and everything somehow worked out okay. Fingers crossed. Also today we're brought to you by Hawthorne. Smell nice while you're at home. If you're stuck inside, smell nice for those who are around you. Don't be a mess. Just because nothing's happening right now doesn't mean you gots to be a mess. We'll talk about that as well. Now let's jump into this podcast.

Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour reporting studio. Recording! Wake your ass up!

It's the next Grindelwald in the morning! Hello everybody! Welcome to an exciting episode of Guys at Grindelwald in the morning! Hey. Hey, how are you? I'm doing alright. Guess what today is? Uh, Sunday the 19th of July. That is correct, which would be my birthday.

Is it? It is my birthday. No. Yeah. I have alerts for all of your birthdays. I didn't get an alert. Well, you've got the other two birthdays. You missed the third one this year.

Wait, what? You have three birthdays? Wait, what? Who doesn't? I'm really confused. What? Yeah, three birthdays. What does that mean?

I was born three times. What do you think it means? That? Okay, that's crazy. What? You know. I do not know. Alright, well, I only got one. It's today. Wait, so why did you say you were born three times? You sounded like a cult member. I don't know, I just take something, I run with it until it can't be rain with no more than lay are I'm dropping this joke hold on hold on I I even went to your Twitter I didn't get

balloons do I get balloons yeah when it's every it's your birthday balloons pop up on your Twitter Wow didn't even give me balloons and I went there that's what I'm saying are you sure it's your birthday I balloons pop up on your Twitter. Wow, it didn't even give me balloons when I went there. That's what I'm saying. Are you sure it's your birthday? I would have, it would have been on my calendar if today was your birthday. I mean, if Twitter is wrong Then I don't think it's, I don't think it's your birthday. And this birth certificate

must be wrong. I don't think it's your birthday. Are you sure? I am positive it can't be your birthday. Nah, it's been my birthday every day for 30 years, so I don't know why 31 would be different. Well, happy birthday. I was unaware.

Now I know. Now I feel terrible. Dude, that famous birthday place kept being like, hey, clarify your birthday. And I'm like, I'm not going to clarify shit. And then they sent me a thing. They're like, hey, clarify your birthday. And I'm like, I'm not going to clarify shit. And then they sent me a thing. They're like, hey, happy birthday. It's like, get out of your famous birthdays.

I'm not even famous. I'm going to look it up. Maybe this is famous birthdays. Crandor. Maybe this will all. Yeah. Nine hours ago. Look at that.

Wow. Clarify with them. Hold on. Hold at that. Wow. I didn't even clarify with them. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Dodger, wish you a happy birthday on July 19th, 2016. It does check out. See, I told you.

It does check out. Yeah. Told you. Wait, but hold on. You have another tweet, August 6th, 2018. Happy birthday, me. What? I think I was just making that one up.

You can't just keep doing that. You can't just keep doing that. Happy birthday, me, Crandor. It's a photo of you looking in, I guess you're in Dodgers office. Clearly this is one of the times you came to visit. I know it're in dodger's office you're saying happy birthday me because i was probably pretending to be dodger that's her birthday right yes i don't hold on dex bonus birthday uh yeah her birthday is August 6th. Look at that.

I can't figure this out. It's right there. Look at that. What the shit? So her birthday is August 6th. I have that. She's got like a bunch of popularity stickers on this thing. Hold on.

I need to retweet this. Happy birthday at Crandor. And it's a link to the video I just posted. Oh, yeah. Now that's the good stuff. Now people are going to be like, wait, is it his birthday? And no one will know because I clearly don't know. I can't even tell if you're messing with me

Right now I'm not messing with you Are you sure? Yes I don't want people to wish you happy birthday And it not actually be your birthday I even did a stream last night where we counted down to it And then they were banning people

And said it too early They were like 4 minutes until we hit midnight And someone was like, happy birthday. And they just banned them. They're like, timed out five minutes. You're not allowed to yet. So dumb. Yeah.

You rule with an iron fist. I like it. I don't even remember that Dodgers birthday was August 6th. It's like two weeks late. Well, now we know. Yeah, now we all know Dodgers birthday is August 6th. It's like two weeks late. Well, now we know. Yeah, now we all know. Dodgers birthday is August 6th. And your birthday is May something. Very good. It is May something.

Well, I bet you're in this website, Jesse Cox. I get an email. I get a DM from him all the time, too. Yeah. May 18th. There you are. Shit, dude. Yeah. How exciting. all the time too yeah may 18th there you are shit dude yeah how exciting you know what i realized today is that with today i am closer to 40 than i am 20 wait till that wait till you have that

revelation that like boy there are less years ahead than there were behind now that's a fun thought well uh we could talk about how uh we reacted to each other's things i mean yeah uh we said we'd do it we promised people we said we'd do it yeah and thankfully i had the excuse because my patreon was like hey do that and i was like all hey, do that. And I was like, all right. So I reacted to a bunch of your non-contents that I'd never seen before. And I had it selected for me at random so I wouldn't know what they were. And then I watched them and I reacted to them. And then you reacted to my react. Yeah. And then moments ago, I reacted to your react Of me reacting to your non-content

Right and the only logical response Is for me to react to that reaction To me reacting to you reacting Yes of course Obviously And down the rabbit hole we go I hope That one day we have a screen filled

With smaller versions of ourselves All talking over each other. It's just insane. It is totally insane. I truly hope that's what happens. No, that's... Honestly, that's kind of why I started YouTube. Was just for this moment.

I think if anyone can Can really warp the algorithm I feel like if at the end of this We haven't ruined the algorithm For YouTube and they're like we need to change this I don't know what we're doing wrong Also I've looked up on this website Famous entertainment

That happened on this day What do you mean famous entertainment july 19th and entertainment so boy yeah what happened on your birthday in entertainment today uh all right so the lion king released last year oh oh all right yeah last, last year Clueless released in 95 Of course, everyone knows Clueless Of course Teen Beach Movie released in

2013 I don't know what that is Yeah, I don't know what that is Sounds like not another teen movie, right? Like one of those It does, but it kinda looks Disney-ish Ew i can click it disney channel original movie about two teen surfers who fall in love after they are transported into a 60s movie musical well that sounds terrible uh well that sounds awful the number one one is Liv and Maddie

Premiered seven years ago A teen girl Is a basketball star at her high school Where her popularity is on the rise However her happy high school life is disrupted When her TV star twin sister returns home Starring Dove Cameron I know that name though

I feel like I've heard that name too Maybe she's like a bunch of shit now Maybe it was like a really popular TV show Maybe I know I've heard her name Maybe Listen Pawn Stars debuted in 2009

There it is Well there you go That's the one to celebrate Yes 11 years ago Pawn Stars Remember when we actually used. 11 years ago. Pawn Stars. Remember when we actually used to watch and care about Pawn Stars? Yes. It was fantastic.

And then you just see what happens when the guy walks in. He's like, got this old coffee cup from, I think, 60s. I was hoping to see what I could do. He's like, eh, I don't know much about coffee cups, but I know a guy who knows everything about them. I can call him up, see what he's got to say. And they're like, yeah, yeah, it sounds good. And then it does the transition of like, boop-ba-doop-bop-boop-ba-ba-da-bop. And then later on, the guy comes in and he's just like, this coffee cup's actually a fake.

I'd actually pay you to get rid of it. And then you're like, oh, well. Well, and then my but my favorite guy, the one guy with the old dude with the gloves, that's who I want to be. I want to be him, and I want to have a friend who hangs out with me, and he's like, watch the profanity.

And we, like, have good times together. Yeah. We go on, like, wacky adventures. What kind of wacky adventures? You know, like, wacky, he gets in wacky adventures? You know, like wacky. He gets in my convertible that's from like 1972. And we go hunt for treasures in people's storage lockers that are probably dead. Oh, yeah.

The storage locker show too. Remember? We talked about that like years ago. Yeah. Storage Wars. I think that was like a lot of shows were spawned from Pawn Stars. Oh, I forgot I for some reason sorry

I was thinking about Storage Wars not Pawn yeah alright Pawn Stars is the guy who's like alright Chumlee we gotta go I got them mixed up in my head there obviously I don't want to be like anyone in Pawn Stars

yeah there's the old man Chumlee Rick Harrison right no I don't want to be like anyone in Pawn Stars. Yeah, there's the old man, Chumlee, Rick Harrison. Right. No, I don't want to be the old man in Pawn Stars. Pawn Stars' old man was like, Give me some of that sweet apple pie, Chumlee. Dude, apparently he's dead. I know. It's so sad.

I know. Died like two years ago. He was like 80-something, though. He's pretty old. He had a good run. Yeah. He got to be on TV being like, Trumbly, give me my candy canes. He's just like, candy canes?

You don't got any candy canes. He's like, you heard me. Give me my candy canes. Right? And at the end, Trumbly would walk in with an exotic dancer named Candy Cane. And he'd be like, exactly what I was looking for, Trumbly. And the guy would be like, dad. It's like, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba.

And then Chumlee'd turn around and start eating a candy cane out of his pocket. Why is the show better in our heads than it actually was? I don't know. Honestly, I want to take a day where I just watch one episode from every shitty reality show from, like, 2009. We should, next time you're in town, we should do a live stream of people send us reality show, their favorite reality show episodes ever. Yes. And we just watch them all day. We have a reality show, like, marathon.

It's like a Gordon Ramsay, a Pawn Star, a Storage War. Yeah, their favorite episode. Yeah. I would love that. i would love that i would love that too oh my god that's what i was gonna send you my art from last week oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and you didn't you didn't send it to me well i have it now oh okay so all right i'm gonna i've got four pieces of things that I've drawn. Okay, I'm going to try to start these to people. Okay. So that any of this will make sense to them.

All right, here's the first one. All right. Now, what was the context of these again? You just, things you draw for fun? Things I would draw on the iPad at the end of the day. Holy shit What Okay

So you know that scene Oh Crendor You know that scene in PT where you're like walking down the hall And all the picture frames are eyeballs That is what Crendor's drawn Crendor has drawn Numerous boxes

And inside each box is an eyeball. And then he's painted everything around them blue, but also there are eyes within the blue. Yes. It's terrifying. Here's the thing. It's terrifying. When I drew this, I didn't draw any eyes. Wait, what?

That's right. It's an illusion What? You just see eyes because there's the shape Of various eyes But there's actually No eyes I did not intend to have eyes They're just boxes with a couple lines

And a circle no eyes But what you drew Was eyes whether you decided To draw them as eyes or not The outcome what you drew was eyes whether you decided to draw them as eyes or not the outcome is you drew uh eight boxes with eight eyes in them that's your perception that's not perception what i'm looking at is if any cartoonist in the world drew eyes that's what this would be but if i every cartoonist on planet Earth draws eyes this way if I intended to not draw something would that mean it

is that thing if you perceive it to be that thing what if someone else sees that they don't see eyes what would they see give me an example what would they see maybe they see like bats maybe they see bats yeah that's what bat looks like like bats. Maybe they see... Bats? Bats? What bat looks like an eye,

Crandor? What bat looks like an eye? You know. Whole bunch of them. They do say bat your eyes. That's true, right? See, look at that. This could have been a metaphor to bat your eyes. Touche. I stand corrected.

Okay, next one. Hit me with the next one. Alright, hold on. Here's the next one. This one isn't as abstract. Okay. Ready? When you say that, I don't know that I believe you.

It's definitely not as abstract. All right, hold on. It's coming in. Coming in, coming in hot. I don't know how long it takes to send a 300 kilobyte file in the year 2020. Too long is the answer. We're still waiting. Too long.

Oh, there it is. All right, so imagine a dinosaur, right? Yeah But you know how sometimes when people like suck in their neck Does that make any sense? When people like scrunch their head up and try to like do double chins A lot of people do that for like goofy Twitter pictures Like, hey guys Yeah, that Twitter picture

There's always that meme There's that meme. Yeah, there's that meme of like girls who do like the sexy pose and then immediately go like and do like the derp face. Yeah. Imagine a dinosaur with the derp face, but also doing the reeve face as well. All right. That's good. All right. That's kind of what you created, except his eyeball is an S.

His eyes are an S. Yeah. Yeah. All right. But I but i mean like it's pretty straightforward i feel like i get this one okay um yeah this one's pretty straightforward like it is yeah now you were right you were right i don't know why he's so upset it's like he's like what the what is this? What is this? Okay. Oh, my God. How do I? All right.

So let's see how to describe this. So, you know, when Kermit the Frog wears the Sith rope, imagine it's the same angle and the same look. But instead of Kermit the Frog, it's the dude from Spy vs. Spy. And instead of a hat, he has, like, a mask from one of the trolls in Warcraft on. And he looks like he's saying something. Probably do it. I don't know what he's saying. But, yeah.

What is this? Why did you draw this? I don't know why i draw any of this just like let it happen i let it happen auto draw what happens is i like get ready for bed take a shower you know brush my teeth do all that and then we get into bed and i pull out the ipad usually me and toaster woman watch like videos or something before we go to Bed like a YouTube video or something like the wind down, but before that I'm like I'm gonna draw something as take the iPad pencil and I just draw something and I just let it happen I'm not like I'm gonna draw this I'm gonna draw that usually it starts

I start scribbling and then those scribbles turn into something else and I'm like yeah What if I had this and I start like just it's like I'm just splattering splattering paint on the wall, right? So when you do this, what does she say I? Think she's gotten used to it Now she's like what's gonna happen this time I Just what I do. I don't even know what's gonna happen. I can't wait to see Like when this was done I have to know what her reaction was imagine it was like that's so nice I mean I'm not drawing like do

like my picture like this is just art this is feelings these are emotions what was the emotion what's the emotion of this picture it's green by the way I don't remember things green well it's like a of this picture? It's green, by the way. I don't remember what I was seeing. The whole thing's green. Well, it's like a plague cloud, I think. So this is the plague doctor? I wouldn't say he's a doctor. Right.

I'm sorry. A plague PhD holder? I mean, no. It's just like a plague bird. A plague bird. See, when I started drawing this, I just did some hard scribbles and I made that weird like beak shape and then I was like what if I had some eyes I did like some diamond eyes I'm like what if I had used like this weird like blue that'll kind of look like a robe and then I was like

yeah this color looks neat over it so I scribbled the green over it yeah no I see that I see a lot of scribbles okay one? Last one for now. Okay, alright, for now. Oh lord. This one's recent. How recent? Like a week. Alright, I'm gonna judge your skills.

Alright. Whoa! See this one is actually, I would say this qualifies as art! Nice, I did it. Yeah, this is very modern artistic. So the way to describe this is it's multiple colors spread over the canvas, sort of green clashing with yellow and orange as they sort of fight for space. While on the bottom there's aqua or teal sort of coming up from the bottom. It actually looks like something you'd see in a gallery.

Yeah. It's actually one of my favorite things I've done. Gesundheit. Thank you. Yeah, it's... Oh my goodness. It was so good, you're allergic to it. I know. Wow. That's how much

money it probably cost to buy this piece. Dude, if anyone wants to buy this piece of art for $100,000, I will take it. I know. Wow. That's how much money it probably cost to buy this piece. Dude, if anyone wants to buy this piece of art for $100,000, I will take it. I don't think they will. However, you could easily con them into thinking this was someone else's artwork. It actually has artistic merit. I'm not going to lie.

The other three, doodles. Doodles you would see on the side of a notebook. But this one actually looks like art you would see somewhere. And you'd be like, oh, what is this one called? And then it would say, like, the fall of mankind or something. But for sure, this is an actual piece of artwork. Yeah.

No, this one, I had, like, a vague idea in mind. I was, like, I wanted very vibrant colors, so I was working with those. And I was, like, yeah, it's, like, this one, I even I had like a vague idea in mind I was like, I wanted very vibrant colors So I was working with those, and I was like, yeah It's like grass, so it goes down here, and water And I had like the sun, and then I Started blending stuff, and I was just like, yeah Emotions clashing in the earth It's what it looks like

It's what it looks like, things in motion Clashing, it's exactly what it looks like Hmm You know what, maybe I can even get $20. This I can see being at a local community college art sale. Yes! Oh my god, I'm doing it. If only you had done it on canvas and not on your computer. Yep, that's the problem. There's your problem. Let's see, well

those are my four art pieces. I have many other. I have like 30 to 40 other art pieces I've drawn. I believe that. I also, I too have notebooks from high school and college with doodles in it as well. I think these are a step above. I'm looking

back at this guy who's got like a wrinkled neck and a big tongue that I don't know. All right. How should I show people? I'll show like these four on like Twitter or something. Yeah. Maybe at Crandor. I guess I could also just put them in the description of the thing.

Sure. Whatever makes you happy. And then if you want to see more art, maybe I'll put it up on my patreon.com slash Crendor. Wow. Wow. Wow. Real Patreon, not fake. Like yours.

Oh, my heart. My heart. Crendor, ouch. I haven't watched your reaction by reaction, so I'm going to have to react It's all good Every time that you shouted out your Patreon I replaced Crendor with Jesse Cox

Okay I'm going to have to redo that again So now you know what you have to keep up with As long as we can keep changing each other And editing the video in weird ways I think we'll be fine Alright fantastic And editing the video in weird ways. I think we'll be fine. Alright, fantastic. Oh my goodness. Alright, well, I think that's about a good enough time as any

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Your first refill is free at getquip.com slash Crendor. Get Quip. Get Good Habits. Because Quip is a good habits company. That's me. All right, Crendor, let's go to chapter seven of the Sky with the Crendor. How's that traffic out there? Oh, man. Traffic. You know what? I could look out and see the traffic today, but I choose not to. I'd rather just look up here in the clouds.

It's relaxing. It's nice. And, oh, no, it's kind of kind of surreal you know I'm up in the sky people throughout history they couldn't even get up here and I'm in this chapter copter flying around like it's nothing so uh I'm just taking the time to appreciate the sky man appreciate the sky the sky. Back to you. You flying? What's going on over there?

He is flying high. Yeah, I can tell you that much. All right. Let's go to sports. Wait, weather. Hold on. Weather's first, right? Weather.

Yeah, weather. Weather. You high? I don't know, man. What is weather? What even is weather? Actually, when you think about it, what is weather? I'm sure there's a definition.

I'm sure we can actually look it up. That's true. Weather def. The state of the atmosphere, the place, and time as regards heat, dryness, sunshine, wind, rain, etc. Well, there you go. That is a pretty good description. That is a great description. Wow, who would have thought something like a dictionary would have an accurate description. Science, man. Science is doing it.

Or there's wear away or change the appearance or texture of something by long exposure to the air. Oh, yeah, weathering it. You're right. Weathered down. Yeah. Aren't we all just weathered, man? I guess so, yeah. We're weathered from the time we're born. Damn, man.

I want to be rain. I want to be like a nice spring day. I like rain. I know. I want to have like the clouds and be like, you got like big thunder. You can throw lightning bolts down. I guess I wanna have like I wanna have like the clouds And be like You got like big thunder You can like throw lightning bolts down Like woo Kinda like

I guess I'd be Zeus You wanna be Zeus? I wanna be What's the god of You know like Moderate temperature And Growing flowers

Is that a fertility god? I wanna be a fertility god Alright God Of fertility Can I be Dionysus? fertility god. I want to be a fertility god. God of fertility. Can I be Dionysus? In Greek. There's Priapus.

Priapus? Preus? The protector of livestock, garden fruit, plants, male genitalia. He's a protector of an oversized permanent erection well all right well yep here we are yep wow that is something those crazy greeks legit looks like they painted a balloon animal

is it just like a dude with a giant dick? Is that the statue? Sure is. Well, it's a painting. A painting from ancient ruins of Pompeii. Ah, well. Oh, yeah. We're in the... We're weather.

What do you call it? We're weather. Let's go to... Let's go to Pompeii. Pompeii? Okay. Wait, how do I spell Pompeii? Here we go. Oh, there it is.

I literally just saw it. Pompeii, Naples, Italy. I assumed it was Greece. Oh, they're all pretty close. Yeah, they're all in that same area. All the European people would be like, Oh, Crandor, you can't do that. All right, let's hear you talk about where Indiana and Ohio are, all right?

Exactly. You don't know shit. Just like I don't know shit about your places, all right? That was a solid call. Every time they're just like, where is North Dakota? It's somewhere around there, yeah? Like, no. I'm telling you.

Although, if you ask a lot of Americans, I don't know that they know where North Dakota was. That's also an issue. So, listen. All right. Just as long as you have some general... All right. I was pretty close. If we were playing a game... Yeah, you were in the Mediterranean. You were as you have, like, some general con. All right, like, I was pretty close. If we were playing a game of... Yeah, you were in the Mediterranean.

You were there. Yeah, you were in the area. Yeah, it's not like I was like, uh, Pompeii, is it Australia? No, man, I'm like 8 billion miles off. Okay. 8 billion? Is it on the sun? You know?

Yeah. I've always heard Pompeii sun. What? That actually could be like a rock album. I was about to say Pompeii Sun sounds like a great 80s rock album. Pompeii Sun, take me away. Yeah. Burn me up.

Pompeii Sun. Anyway, Pompeii Naples, 70 degrees. 5% chance of rain through 4 a.m. Hey, that's higher than zero. 81 degrees, 0% chance of rain in the morning. Afternoon, 85, 0%. Oh, so it's the evening 5%. I forgot it's the morning there already.

So technically, this is Cox and Crandor in the Pompeii morning. Yeah, you're welcome, Europe. Yeah, you're welcome. we do this for you uh then we got tuesday 89 wednesday 91 thursday 89 friday 88 saturday 88 sunday 86 monday 86 tuesday 87 that's fahrenheit i don't know your uh Celsius. Not only have I gotten your land wrong, but your temperature. Why don't we just use Celsius? Great question. Technically, we all should. But, you know, they tried to switch us over when I was back in school in the early 90s and it did not take.

They're like, nah, we're going back. Well, I'm trying to think. Like, does Sam or like the TB, did they always do Celsius or did they like do Fahrenheit? Well, I think. Or were they like not converted? Don't the Brits also use Imperial instead of Metro? I don't know. Do they?

Do I have to look up who uses the Imperial system? Yeah, who uses the Imperial system? Only three countries. The U.S., Liberia, and Myanmar. All right, never mind. Sorry to everyone in England. I was wrong. Yeah.

I don't know why I thought that the Brits would be involved with something called the Imperial System. But here we are. So literally, it's just us and, like, Liberia and Myanmar. Really? I remember TB saying something in Celsius and I was like, you're using Celsius here in America. And he was like, I remember that. Wait, how did we

get here from Pompeii? Great question. That's the weather. All right. Let's go to sports. Hey, welcome to sports. Sports. Hey, welcome to the sports desk. Guess what?

Baseball's happening. It's happening. Baseball is happening. Even though, wait, I think I read this week that Toronto's not allowing their team to play. Well, they can't go play in Canada. They have to, like, stay in America, I think. Yeah, they're playing their games at Pittsburgh. God bless.

You know what? I'm glad the Pirates are helping out. Yeah. But, man. There they go. That's so funny that the rest of the world's like, don't do this. This is a terrible idea.

Well, Yankees are winning 6-0 over the Mets. Cubs are beating the White Sox 2-0. Dodgers up 4-1. Baltimore up 4-1 over the Phillies. And the Dodgers, they're playing the Diamondbacks. So there we go. That's the first time we've done sports scores in like four months. Right? There's a commercial on we've done sports scores in like four months. Right?

There's a commercial on the radio right now that's like one of the sports channels. And it's like, a shorter season. Anything can happen. Only 60 games or whatever it is. And then we're in the postseason. It's a bunch of guys talking about, it's going to be crazy. I have no idea what's going to go on. And other guys like, chaos.

It's utter chaos. And the guy's like, there's going to go on. And the other guy's like, chaos. It's utter chaos. And the guy's like, there's new rules, too. So we got to watch out for that. I don't know what it's going to do to fantasy teams. And the entire time, I'm like, this is insane. This is insane that this is happening. I love it. I think it's great.

I live in the chaos. I'm like, yeah, here we go. Who knows? They may play 20 games. They may play a full season. They may get to the playoffs and then get to the championship all of a sudden. Uh-oh, LeBron's out. He's got Corona.

You're like, ah, shit, now who's going to win? LeBron? You don't know. Or, I mean, in basketball. Well, they're all playing like Orlando. LeBron gave a – LeBron's like, I got to play something. He's doing what Michael Jordan did. He's going to play baseball for a minute. LeBron gave a... LeBron's like, I gotta play something. He's doing what Michael Jordan did. He's going to play baseball for a bit. Yeah, it's part of the

whole Space Jam thing. Yeah. So you never know. Maybe LeBron takes someone's spot that got Corona. He starts playing baseball. Get me LeBron James. Dude. Honestly, he can probably play pretty well.

Yeah, I believe that. I'm all aboard this wacky sports train. There's going to be like four sports going out at once. Football is supposed to start up in a few weeks. We're going to have football, hockey, baseball, and basketball all at once. This is insane. You know what? Hopefully people will stay inside then.

They won't have a reason to go out. Honestly, yeah. It probably will keep people inside more i'm all right with that yeah and uh that's sports all right kron dar what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day of the day of the big news story of the day okay a florida man is behind bars after he attempted to steal an airplane at the New Smyrna Beach Airport

so he could fly to California and meet his girlfriend while carrying nearly 500 grams of marijuana. On Saturday. All right, never mind. I'm going to let you tell the story. I have lots of questions already, but okay. All right.

On Saturday, officers were alerted that a stolen vehicle had been found at the airport while in the process of locating that vehicle officers were flagged down by a man who said it was his vehicle that was stolen the victim told officers that a man unknown to him jumped into the back of his truck and offered a thousand dollars for a ride according to the report the man then got out of the truck but left a grinder scale and cell phone at the same time the victim flag, scale, and cell phone. At the same time, the victim flagged down officers to describe the incident in the truck. Another officer at the airport

was notified by a flight instructor that a man with a blue bag was spotted crouching on the wing of a plane station on a portion of the tarmac that was not accessible to the public. Wait a minute. Hold on. What airport was this? This was the new Smyrna beach is this a big airport

all right please continue I just can't imagine that this dude pulled this off but okay according to a report the man asked the flight instructor how he could fly a plane by the time officers reached the tarmac the man was sitting in the right seat of the aircraft. When officers approached him, he asked if they knew how to fly the plane. The man then jumped from the emergency exit window of the plane and was detained by officers. After the man identified as 22-year-old Robert Steenstra

was secured in the back patrol car, officers returned to the plane and took Steenstra's duffel bag and the evidence. Officers said they found Steenstra's ID, sunglasses, headphones, cigarillos, two lighters, a pocket knife, and a laptop. He was ready for the trip. He was going to look up stuff on the internet while he was flying. He was. Do you think he thought how long it would take to go from there to California? You know, I don't think he did.

Do you think he planned out fuel and weight ratios and flight paths? Or was he just going to do it? I think he was just going to do it. He's like, do the plane. That'll fly. It's got wings pipe a glass pipe was also found and tested positive for methamphetamine uh all right i was about to say i don't know that pot's gonna make you go steal a plane i don't know that's gonna happen uh next to the duffel bag was a container holding marijuana well he was yeah that was his gift yeah defendant stated he purchased the aircraft for 20 000 cash recently he's gonna

fly to california meet his girlfriend he advised he did not have paperwork and did not know the person he bought it from the defendant stated he was let onto the airfield by security it should be known that there is no security on duty at the airport. Oh, that explains a lot. Okay, I was about to say, y'all need security. While he was being processed, Steenstra told officers he was the manager for a medical marijuana dispensary and he was transporting

the marijuana to California. Investigators said he had nearly 500 grams on him and he illegally trespassed on New Smyrna Beach property. He was taken to the Volusia County Jail on charges of possession of paraphernalia, trespassing in an operational area of an airport, possession of

cannabis on leaving the scene in a crash involving damage. He's on $30,500 bond. I have so many questions. Like, from the fact that obviously his story is BS, but the fact that he would be like, yeah, I'm going to California with weed When all California is is weed now

Yeah Most farms are tearing down their actual Food and growing pot now Yeah No it's They don't need more weed They already got a lot Can't even.

Oh, man. People be dumb. Yeah, that sounds about right. I want to know, what his girlfriend thought? That is a great question. Was she at home like, where's my weed? Where's that man with my weed? Who even knows if he has a girlfriend

you're right that could be a lie too yeah that could just be a lie he's gonna lie about owning a pot dispensary he's probably gonna lie about a girlfriend too it's like where are you taking that weed oh yeah my girlfriend yeah she lives in california You don't know her He might have also just invented her If he's high on meth You're right, meth can create a lot of things Like girlfriends Maybe he does have a girlfriend

But it's like A horse or something You know It's like a vacuum cleaner Horse Horsella My girlfriend Horsella You know? It's like a vacuum cleaner. Horsella. My girlfriend, Horsella? First off, Horsella's a terrible name.

Horsella is a bad name. They're just like, sir, you don't have to make this up. And then a horse with a half body, like centaur woman walks out and starts crying. It's like, Horsella, wait wait they don't understand horsela yeah they bust out into a musical it's like horsela horsela so basically just that uh david lynch video is what you're saying yes oh my god, David Lynch's new movie, Horcella. Horcella! Horcella, no! I just wanted to fly to you to bring you the weed. But the twist is that Horcella was there the entire time.

Oh, shit. She came to visit him. She's like, I came to see you and the weed. And he's like, no! And now he has to go to jail. And there's no weed. The end. The end. What a sad ending. What a sad ending

indeed. Alright! Well, that's it for us! Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this podcast. Crendor, hit up the socials. We've got youtube.com slash cox and

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That's it. Thank you so much for tuning in. We'll see you guys next time. And as always, to be continued.