Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 250 - Cox n' Crenboar

Episode Date: August 10, 2020

The boys are back and this time Jesse is investing in weird hardware for the sake of the podcast - mostly for himself, but the podcast is included now. Also Crendor has a run in with another one of the crazy people he meets on a daily basis. All this and so much boar, on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! To get 15% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to http://meundies.com/crendor If you go to http://getquip.com/CRENDOR right now, you’ll get your first refill FREE.

Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies! MeUndies are like underwear, but so much better. And you'll want to put them on your body. I got a message on Twitter. Someone just bought some and they were like, You were right. You were right. Be like that guy. Yeah.

See the truth. Also, today we're brought to you by Quip. Brush your teeth. There is no reason not to have sparkling teeth when you come out of this stay at home nonsense you have all the time in the world spend two minutes getting your teeth clean we'll talk about that and why i can barely talk in the podcast hello everybody it's time for Cocks and Cretton Dog! Cocks and Cretton Dog in the morning! In the morning!

Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Hit me! Wake your ass up! It's Cocks and Cretton Dog in the morning! Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me! Cocks and Cretton Dog in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome to another exciting episode of Cocks and Crettonor in the morning! Gags and Grendor in the morning!

Hello everybody, welcome to another exciting episode of Gags and Grendor in the morning! Hey. My throat is so busted. Oh my god. I'm dying. I'm dying, man. My throat is a mess. I woke up today, it hurts so bad. Is it from yesterday and yelling? Yes, 100%. I hope so. I hope that's what the problem is. Oh man, it hurts so...

Let me just say, Fall Guys is a hellscape. Fall Guys is a Greek tragedy that I am the star of. And it only gets worse. The more I play, the more I'm like, why am I playing this?

Have you played and have you won? Well, I've played with you and lost. I've played with other people and lost. I've played alone and lost. And I haven't won yet. Well, I'm glad we're in the same boat together.

I would, you know, if you would have won I would have been like well deserved but since you haven't welcome to welcome to the shame boat population me i'm your captain jesse cox i lost my voice because some dude threw me in a pit of goo and now i can't talk that broke me it like broke my spirit i watched through all of the video And like from that point on I was just done Dude broke me So I lost my voice yesterday Because of that

So that happened So bless everyone for tuning in today I'm going to try and talk But I'm reducing my volume And I also have to do like I have to do like breathing exercise to talk and I got like water here and I'm just guzzling it's great

this is so much fun huge great day just huge fan of today sounds fun maybe you just don't yell you would think that I could get away with that you and my dad would both agree that I should be quieter but turns out it's impossible

every time I talk to my parents my dad's like quiet down I should be quieter, but it turns out it's impossible. Every time I talk to my parents, my dad's like, quiet down. I'm like, I'm just talking normal. He's like, you're yelling. I'm like, what do you mean I'm yelling? I'm just talking. He's like, you're so loud. Okay, cool.

I'll just shut up, I guess. Holy crap. It's because of you, dad. I learned it from you. Is your dad not loud, then? My dad's very loud. My dad is just one of those guys who's like, it's too cold. You're driving too fast.

Wear a sweater. You're like, oh, this is too hot or too cold. He always is complaining about something. That's just who he is. He hit that age where everything's the problem, except for him. Yeah, I feel that. Man, that'd be a great age. I don't know. Maybe I don't want to ever get to the point where I'm always just, like,

complaining about something. Maybe that's what happens. It seems great because you get there, you're like, oh, I can just complain about everything. But then you realize that you're complaining about everything because you are that age you're like, oh, I can just complain about everything. But then you realize that you're complaining about everything because you are that age. I guess, mate. But, like, wouldn't you want to just have fun and not complain about stuff?

Well, that's what I mean. You haven't hit that age yet. Once you hit it, you're probably going to start complaining about everything. I guess you're right. I just feel like, what if I instead don't take things for granted? And I'm, like, thankful that I have air conditioning. Instead of saying it's too cold, I'm like, thank you, air take things for granted. And I'm like, thankful that I have air conditioning. Instead of saying it's too cold. I'm like, thank you.

Air conditioning for existing. Oh yeah. Thank God. Right. We'll need it. Well, Tom, I'm old. We'll need that shit. Cause I'll be half underwater.

I mean, I, I need air conditioning now. I'm just saying everybody that's like in england or whatever always talks about their air conditioning right and they don't have lack of air conditioning and then every time it gets super hot and they're just like man you should probably get an air conditioner it's crazy hot and they're like yeah maybe next year well it's only getting hotter so you know invest in an air conditioning unit. Like, okay, let's... I gotta look this up right now.

What's the temperature in England? London. London, England. London. London, England. London, old 80. All right, Penn Day. Look at this.

93, 93, 92, 84. And then, yeah, high 70s. And they're like, we don't have air conditioners. All I'm saying is when I went to Dodgers wedding in the summer, I've never sweated like that in my life. The house was so hot. It was like a hot box. My room in the hotel was like a hot box.

And I went to bed bare-ass naked in this hotel room. I peeled myself off the covers. I put nothing off the covers. I put nothing over my body. I just laid there open every window, turned off every light and like prayed that I could get through the night. I was so gross. Oh my God.

No shower could do me well enough. I woke up the next morning, took the coldest shower I've ever taken. See, because then they're like, oh, but then you look at July, right? They got high 70s for a lot of July or 70s, like 78. And then it just randomly spikes for like a couple of weeks of like 90 something. Here's the thing. I would still invest in air conditioner even for those things it's probably going to be humid those days so it's like the air

conditioner is going to help get that humidity out and then we get super hot boom i mean you just buy one for like one room make it your like ice room be like this is the ice room i will say a lot of the modern uh apartments that i've been in are the things i've noticed they have air conditioning units yeah but people just don't turn them on because they're like, oh, I don't need it. And it's like, yeah, you do. I need it. If I was there, I'd turn that shit. I am broken.

America broke my ass. I'd be like, crank it up, baby. That was the biggest thing I wanted at the Coxcon Hotel. The Coxcon people were like, here you go, Crandor. And when we got there, there was no air conditioning. It was like 90-something. I'm like, I can't do this. Like, I can't.

I literally can't do this. I need to sleep. To be able to sleep, it needs to be cold. I don't know how our ancestors did it. I guess they were tougher than me. Because I'm like, turn on the AC, baby. Or they got really terrible sleep, really bad headaches, dehydration. You know?

Things like that. You're right. They died when they were 35, so screw them. Yeah. That's a great one. It's like, what do you think about your ancestors? Well, they died when they were 35,

so screw them. That's all I'm saying. So, that's all i'm saying so i wrote down one story this week okay i went to whole foods i was just getting like this is good it's getting like you know just some random items or whatever so go to self-checkout and the self-checkout says hey please have around 10 to 15 ish items it even says ish right so you're like okay great uh so everybody's waiting doing their thing this one woman i remember walking by the self-checkout and she's standing there with her dog dog in one arm scanning things with the other she doesn't have 10 to 15 ish items she has more than 10 to 15

ish items maybe to her the ish meant like you know it's it's a suggestion not a rule yes well we find out more so then oh okay i start you know i get my last stuff then i come back in lines the woman's still there scanning so now she's scanning like carrots and shit i'm like all right and then everybody's like you know going around her and like doing their thing on the other self checkouts and then i start self checking out the one next to her and she's just like oh like talking to her dog and the woman comes up and she's like ma'am this is like like 10 to 15 items around there uh just for like future reference but like you probably should went to a different was it an employee

or was it just a random person no it was an employee and so they were like oh well when I looked in my cart it looked uh it looked like 10 to 15 she had probably like 40 something items I don't know sure depth perceptions off but there is there is She had probably like 40 something items I don't know If your depth perception is off

But there is more than There is more than You could easily see more than 20 So it's like alright Whatever so she keeps checking out And then I finish And then this woman she's probably been there For like 8 minutes 9 minutes at this point

And she's like how do I get my Whole food rewards Can you show me how to get the whole food rewards let me ask you a question yeah what age are we talking is she like elderly and maybe this is like uh you know i'm trying to do it on my own but i definitely shouldn't or was she like 22 and she had a little puppy dog. What was the vibe? I want to guess about 52. Ah, okay. Probably about 52. She had her little chihuahua dog, but it was

not an actual chihuahua. It was like a type of it looked like a chihuahua a bit, but furrier. Sure, sure. And then I go out to my car, put groceries away, about to leave, and finally I see her walking out of the Whole Foods. I wanted to clock her in at about, I think, 12, 13 minutes to check out.

I feel like someone should have said something the minute she got there. Yes, I think so. But I didn't think they... Someone should have said something the minute she got there Yes I think so But I didn't think they I figured you know sometimes there's probably people that come up with like 30 items or something but they're like fast You know like me like I can take 30 items And be like alright move on

But when you take you know An entire day to just scan Items while you hold your dog And then also they allow a dog In there in a grocery store that's what i'm saying that isn't like a dog that isn't like a seeing eye dog or uh like no it's like a little dog it would be like a purse like a chihuahua dog that's what i'm saying i feel like people should have stopped her

i don't know but she's doing it and the one thing was she was holding a dog in one hand and then scanning with the other which is probably why it was taking so long and then she finally just put the dog in their like purse or carrier or whatever they had it would have been great if she put it in the cart like where the kids sit she probably did but she was shopping the dog just stares at her as it sits there like no you can't have dog bones little mister no that's like that's legit how she was talking with the whole time like we got carrots today don't we woof woof oh boy i bet she's a handful judging by my 10 minutes of being near her i would say so yes i would not

definitely sounds like someone i personally would not want to spend a lot of time with but you know whatever i wouldn't want to be in the grocery store with him again, let alone anywhere else. So that was my one fun story of the week. Fun is a relative term. I don't know that I would say fun. Yeah. What about you? It was a story of the week, that's for sure.

I'll give a report on this. I'm not sure I posted a tweet a few days ago That was like look I want to get food delivery things But I don't want it microwavable And I don't want it Where it's like it cooks for Four people right you know how that crap is

I'm very specific What I'm trying to say is I'm lazy Is what I'm trying to say is i'm lazy is what i'm trying to say okay because i don't want to i don't want a meal prep right i don't have enough time to sit there and like okay i'm gonna go to the grocery store i'm not like i don't even want to do the grocery store i want to have like portions delivered to me that someone else will portion control for me and i don't have to deal with it right that's you know i want to do all that but you know have to deal with it. Right. That's, you know, I want to do all that, but you know, not me deal with it.

Right. So I went and looked up a bunch of different things just to see what was out there. And a lot of it is meals for two. And everyone was like, dude, you know, uh, it's a great option. You can like save a thing for leftovers. I'm not a big leftovers eater. I'm just honest in what i am i know who i am right i'm not a big unless it's pizza or like something's really good reheated yeah

something but most things that you cook on a stove oh yeah things that have like peppers or veggies or what like it i don't know the second day i'm like not a fan yeah so i was like all right i need to find something that's a made for a single dude living by himself in covid times what is out there right and i did a lot of research and i came across a thing called tovala let me see if I can figure out. Tovala? Yeah. Yeah, Tovala. And it is a thing that I guess is like a meal plan

where they send you everything in little tiny trays. Right? And then you heat it in the oven. I got a heard of that. Yeah, and they were like, okay, so this is how it works. You get these trays, and you sign up for this meal plan, and everything's sort of like pre-portioned. And I was like, okay, I love the idea. What's the gimmick here?

Apparently, there is an oven that they want you to buy, a smart oven, that when you get it, you scan the – like it's a little tiny, you know, like a tape, like a countertop oven. Right. But when you get it, you scan the card that comes with your food and then the card, uh, automatically cooks everything at the right temperature, the right time you do nothing. And I was like, hold on now. Are you saying I can do even less?

So long story short, they sold me on an oven i don't need i was like holy crap so i definitely 100 bought an oven i do not need and povala uh t-o-v-a-l-a yes uh there i don't want to give like i don't want to give, like, I don't want to, this is like a sponsorship. I don't know anything about it yet. I couldn't tell you if it's good or not. Interesting. Now I'm curious. And so the oven has a barcode scanner on it. And what it scans, not only the things they send you, but it also scans, you know, like

things you would get at the grocery store that have a barcode scanner that cook at a certain time Right And it also they have an app That apparently the app does If I go to the app right now it's like It has a recipe section And will tell you how to make

You know Like different weird things that you can find You know Just chicken breasts or chicken thighs And then you click the button on the app and then you would put your chick, like your chicken thighs would be in there and then you press start on the oven and it would do it for by itself. And the oven, like, I don't know anything about it cause it just looks like a normal

oven. It just looks like a normal tabletop oven. But apparently it's like future tech and it seems you know one of those things Where only a guy like me Who would do it and try it for a thing Like the podcast I mean really My justification is I'm going to talk About it and figure out if I like it or not It could be Garbo for all I know

This could be awful I mean I'm ready I'm already hooked and invested But everything in it In the menu for example Was like it looked like stuff I would normally want to eat And invested But everything in it, in the menu for example Was Like it looked like stuff I would normally want To eat And it's things that I'm

Like in my epic life goal To try and lose weight, it's things like You know, one's like a fish and broccoli kind of thing And one is like A glazed pork chop and broccoli kind of thing There's green beans Things that I'm looking at the menu and I'm like, okay, it isn't overly complicated. It isn't like crazy where they're trying to put a bunch of crap in there that I don't like.

It seems very simple, the food that I see here. Right. I was like, okay. And the whole thing is I guess you just put the ingredients in the little bins and put them in the thing and it cooks it. And it's fresh. And I was like, okay. All right.

I'll give it a shot. My first order arrives Wednesday. I'll let you know if it's any good. We'll talk about it next week, I'm sure. Remind me. I will remind you. I'm going to write it down. Yeah. I'm very curious what it's going to be like.

Because everything looks, you know, it's gonna be like Because Everything looks You know it's like they're sending you fresh fish and stuff And things that I want And they're doing it in a size that I want Is it worth the price? No clue couldn't tell you I'm gonna assume just out the gate No but they got me hooked

They already got me For an oven For like like 120 some dollar oven that is not necessary um but i was i was like i'm gonna try it i'm gonna see what happens so we will definitely have an experience people keep saying jesse how do you spend your bits if i give you bits on twitch how do you this is thank you bit money you made this happen so uh yeah spending it poorly we'll see maybe the cost is worth it and it's this kind of portion control that helps start me on the path to living better or say it's a fat they also have scan like almost a thousand groceries and you just scan it and then it cooks the grocery thing

so i mean if it hits a point where you're like i want these tostinos pizza rolls you just scan it on the oven it's like all right i'll cook these pizza rolls that's kind of neat yeah it's it's it's fascinating the oven is interesting do i think it's worth the cost? Probably not. But I saw it and was like, you know what? I have to try this. I have to see what's what. And so it seemed to fit everything I needed. And in my daily life where, you know, the fact that I can press a button and it does its own thing for 17 or 20 minutes or whatever,

and I can just ignore it, and I don't have to sit there and monitor it and cook it and flip it and stir it and do all the different things that involve cooking. It's a relief to me. So we'll see if it actually works and does what I hope it'll do, which, you know, who knows. Me and Toaster Woman still do Blue Apron, which we've continued from our Cox and Crandor sponsorship. Nice, very nice.

They were still sponsoring, so I could get some free Blue Aprons. I feel weird when people listen to previous podcasts, and we have ads for things that definitely, like, I don't think our codes work anymore for some things. We're like, we did an ad three years ago and it's like oh yeah i feel for you um but i will say i do like blue aprons still i know there's like a bunch of food things now but like last week we had smoked gouda and onion burgers that was pretty good with corn on the cob then we had barbecue chickpeas and farro with corn, cucumbers, hard-boiled egg.

That one was really good, except for the farro because too much vinegar on it. And then pork chorizo meatballs and pepper rice. That was also really good. See, that's the kind of thing, like, I if I was dating someone right now and we had to be stuck at home, right? Yeah. I think something like

that where it's a meal for two and we got to, like, cook it together. It's a fun thing to do together. Yeah, just pour some like that where it's a meal for two and we got to like cook it together. It's a fun thing to do together. Yeah, you just pour some wine. When it's just me, I could care less. I will say the, yeah, usually I'll like cook it and then we just pour some wine and then you cook and you're like, yeah, cooking with wine and you eat it and you're like, nice. That's usually pretty good watching TV. hey, cooking with wine, and you eat it, and you're like, nice.

That's usually pretty good, watching TV. And then what the best part is, if you make something and you like it, you just go to the grocery store and buy the ingredients again. Absolutely. And then you don't have to order it. Well, my thought process was I'm looking at the tins, right? So basically with this oven, everything comes – it looks like it comes in a tin foil container thing, right? You put it in the oven.

My thought process is if I, say, get a fish thing, put it in the oven, I can clean that and then, oh, well, I know if I keep this card, this fish, if I go to the grocery store, I can get the same fish, put it in the oven, just scan it with the card, and just go to town. Yeah. So I'm hoping I can come up with fun strategies with things to do, because I got the minimum number they send. I think it's six they send you. So that's six meals a week, and that's not too crazy. It's a good start. We'll see what happens.

And if I love it, great. If I don't, whatever. I have an oven that I can experiment with I suppose yeah Now I think it's fun. I'm invested. I want to learn more about the southern I Might have to make a video just for you call yes the the oven arrives Tuesday the food arrives Wednesday Okay So I will have information for you then. I'll take photos. I will be anxiously awaiting.

And I'll be, in fact, you made a video. I would watch that video and maybe I'd react to it. It would depend. Yeah, it's investment towards the future. We'll find out together if it was worth the money or not. But we'll see. We'll see. Speaking of things that are worth the money or not but uh we'll see we'll see i don't speaking of things that are worth your money oh boy good segue you're the segue master today um let's be honest

the world's pretty messy out there right now and i know we're all kind of like just making it by and we're not thinking about things like the quality of the bristles on our toothbrush or, you know, exactly how long we're brushing our teeth or, you know, when we brush our teeth right now, people don't even know when they go to bed. Right. People I have in one week been to bed at 7 30 p.m and also been to bed at 6 a.m but that's what the world is like recapture some control by getting quip quip can help you maintain good healthy oral habits it can help you maintain and take care of your teeth, which is so important because really, in a world where we can't control much, at least you should be able to control your smile.

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All of that combined, along with their every-three-month-sending-you refills on the toothpaste, floss, and a new brush head, it fulfills all the things your dentist will ask you next time we're allowed to go. And it does it for just $5 every three months. Shipping is free. Right now, you can join over 3 million happy customers, all practicing good oral health care affordably with Quip for just $25. If you go to getquip.com slash Crendor right now

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That's why they make the world's softest undies in classic colors all the way to fun prints like dinos and surfboards. Whatever you put on that day, be comfortable the way you want to be. If you're a Crendor or a Jesse, whatever you want to wear, they got something for you. If you were to take a look at my underwear drawer, you would be like, oh my God, this is the craziest thing I've ever seen. No colors match. It is all wild prints.

I think I got like cherries on one and orcas on one and bees on one because you know I'm all about euphemisms. That's true. I have a good blend. I've got some grays, some greens, some like solid colors. Then I've got like a few. Then I've got some wild

ones. Got like tumbleweed. Got the mermaid, mermen. Tumbleweed. I've got the Mermaid Mermen. Tumbleweed? Yeah. I've got the Raccoons. That's a good one. Very nice. Yeah.

There's some quality Crendor prints in there as well that I approve of. There was a Sloth one at one point. There was a Sloth one. I ended up not getting it. Then I wanted to get it, and I couldn't see it on the thing. So I feel like either they got rid of it, or I need to contact them and be like, please, reprint this one more time. Just for me.

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100% satisfaction guarantee. Go to meundies.com slash crendor. That's me. That's MeUndies.com slash Crendor. That's me. Alright, Crendor, let's go to chapter episode of The Sky of the Crendor. How's that? How's that?

I thought you were going to mess that one up. You didn't. It was pretty clear. I just thought you should know that. You're in the helicopter. I can't respond to you. I'm a helicopter now. Oh, sorry. Hey, what's up, everybody? I'm up here in the chapter copter on the Cox and Crandor news station brought to you by MeUndies and Quip.

That's right. MeUndies and Quip only on the Cox and Crandor news station. Do they actually do promotions when they're up in the helicopter on actual TV stations? That's what I thought. I think sometimes they do. Well, back here in the studio. Wait, hold on. Yeah, you can go. Back here in the studio,

no, they do not. Actually, that's a lie. They totally do. I've heard it a few times on the radio myself. Actually, they'll be like, up here in the MeUndies chapter copter. Absolutely. Absolutely, they do. This is the smell-good plumber copter brought to

you by mike diamond uh well we're up here in the i was gonna say the newport richie copter today but that would not be a good copter to be in um there's some traffic out there it's all over watch out it's it's coming for you back to you thanks crendor now let's all over Watch out It's coming for you Back to you Thanks Crandor Now let's go over to Crandor at the Weather Desk How's that weather? Weather

Welcome to the Weather Desk Oh hey Right now Looks like there was a 5.1 magnitude earthquake around the western Carolinas, which is kind of a crazy place to have an earthquake, normally expected on the west coast. And it looks all over. It looks like it's hot everywhere. And when I look outside, it's raining.

Crazy stuff. Weather, it's wild, man. Wacky weather, wild weather wild um so let's just uh i haven't punched in a zip code in a while let's kick it up wappy activated five five two three four all big rhineland paltonate germany you know what i'm a little worried that almost every time we do wappy we somehow end up in All big Rhineland Palatinate Germany. You know what? I'm a little worried that almost every time we do WAPI, we somehow end up in Germany.

All big Rhineland Palatinate Germany weather. 72 degrees Fahrenheit. Clear 10% chance rain through 3 a.m. today. 81 degrees Fahrenheit afternoon. 92 degrees Fahrenheit. Afternoon, 92 degrees Fahrenheit. 15% chance rain. Evening, 79 degrees Fahrenheit. 15% chance rain. Overnight, 70 degrees Fahrenheit. 10% chance rain.

Pressure, 29.98. Visibility, 10 miles. Moon phase, waning gibbous. Moon phase? Waning gibbous. Dew point, 59. Wind, 4 miles per hour. Southeast.

UV index, 0. This week, Tuesday, 92 degrees Fahrenheit. Wednesday, 93 degrees Fahrenheit. Wednesday, 93 degrees Fahrenheit. Thursday, 93 degrees Fahrenheit. Friday, 84 degrees Fahrenheit. 50% chance thunderstorm. You know what? I think you're causing the problems.

You started hitting it before he finished. You know, that might be doing it. Maybe you should stop hitting Woppy. You started hitting it before he finished. You know, that might be doing it. Maybe you should stop hitting Woppy. I don't know any other way to turn him off. There's the off button. There's only on. Yeah, it's weird.

It is very weird. We tried pulling the plug and it just doesn't do it. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, so, you know, it's bittersweet. All right, let's go to sports. Sports. Over in sports, crazy stuff happened in hockey. The Blackhawks upset the Edmonton McDavid Oilers and ended up being a 12 seed that defeated the 5 seed and then the other side

in the east the same thing happened the Canadians beat the Penguins who were supposed to move on so Canada wants it Canada wants it so now I'm excited because the Blackhawks play against the Vegas Golden Knights and it's going to be great because my friend

Nick is in Vegas he loves the Golden Knights now we get to have our like rivalry and here's the thing I too love the Golden Knights I and it's going to be great because my friend Nick is in Vegas. He loves the Golden Knights. Now we get to have our rivalry. Here's the thing. I, too, love the Golden Knights. I'm a big Penguins fan, but come on. I will always love the Golden Knights showmanship. I can't not love it. It is great.

Let me just say, I'll never forget that video. Ever. Long ago, in the time before hockey. That's some good shit right there i love that that is good shit i like that um except for this series we're on blackhawks one and then right now the columbus blue jackets are taking on the toronto maple leaves to see who will advance to the actual playoffs because it's tied at two a piece in game five and right now they're up one nothing but last uh last game they played they're up three nothing with like five minutes left maple leaves scored three times tied it and they won in overtime damn yeah so people know the end by the time they listen to this but right now that's what it is

uh and then basketball seems to be doing pretty good. All the teams are playing. I don't know if they've started their actual playoff games yet. I think they've just been playing exhibition games, and then they start the playoffs really soon. The thing is, hockey and basketball are both in bubbles. So hockey's in a Canada bubble in Edmonton, and the NBA's in a canada bubble in edmonton and the nba is in like a orlando bubble so they essentially aren't allowed to like leave what's crazy to me is that

baseball on the other hand decided not to do that yeah and it is falling apart it is it is falling apart. It is crumbling around them. Yeah, baseball not having a great time. Primarily the Florida Marlins kicked it off, as Florida does, because apparently, you won't believe this, some of the Marlins went out partying. I do believe that. And then the St. Louis Cardinals have had multiple positive tests. So the Cubs weren't able to play them in their current series

where they're supposed to play them. So the Marlins and the Cardinals not doing good in terms of COVID testing. But everyone else seems to be doing all right. So that's neat. And then all the other sports are doing good and football still In limbo some players are like I'm gonna play some players are like I'm not gonna play It's it's all over the place, but hey, I need to know Yeah, two things all right one the rock invested in the XFL. It's coming back, baby

Oh, come on back, baby. It's coming back, baby. Two, two. This is a headline that I think we all need to hear. Gardner Minshew didn't test positive for COVID. He said, and I quote, took one look at me and ran the other way. My hero. Minshew Mania.

It continues. So, yeah, that's sports. All right, Crandall. What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Also, can we just talk about how Gardner Minshew looks like he's 38 years old, but is 24? 24 years old. How is that possible?

That is crazy. He looks like he is the father of five. How is that possible? All right, whatever. Anyway, please continue. Big news story of the day. This is, I was going to see like, hey, is this like new or like an old one this is new this is from two days ago you swine german nudist chases wild boar that stole his laptop a lot of questions with this one but okay i'll take it you might think this is a fake story. It's not. Not on this show.

There is a picture of the chase. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh boy. That guy looks exactly like I imagined a nudist would look. What's so funny is he looks like he has that like that European european fat guy look you know

what i'm talking about we're like yeah he has a normal body except he has a huge gut for some reason yeah like the rest of him is absolutely normally proportioned like i just have like a belly for some reason if i got old and fat i feel like that's what would happen to me I am very Eastern European so it would make sense It's always so funny Especially every time I go to the UK and you see like just like the dudes who it's just clearly a beer belly or something It's so funny like the rest of us all jacked and they have this enormous belly Like how everyone's just looking at him laughing. Like, ha ha ha ha, this guy.

Yeah. I like how the pig has two babies. It's like a family affair. The family's running. A new this bather who chased a wild boar near a Berlin lake after it stole his laptop

was applauded by onlookers after a successful pursuit. A photographer who captured the drama said the unidentified nudist was happy for her to share the images, which show him in a bare-bottom pursuit of the boar and her two piglets while fellow bathers look on in amusement. Nature strikes back, wrote Adele Landauer, a personal coach on Facebook. I showed the man the photos. He laughed heartily and gave me permission to make them public. The man was sunbathing naked at the Tufelessi in West Berlin,

a popular and perfectly legal practice in Germany capital, in the Germany capital, German capital of what is known as Freikundrückser. Free body culture. Of course it is. Yeah, of course it is. I, uh,

even looking at this photo, it looks like there's a few nudists there. Yeah. No, there's some like in Speedos, but there's probably some other ones around.

Uh. Wild boar sightings, of which have become increasingly common, had apparently spotted a pizza being eaten by other bathers it seized a yellow bag containing the man's laptop probably believing it to contain food and was chased by the man to the undergrowth because the bag just wanted to look at porn that pig was like i gotta see what's on this dude's computer that's all it wanted yeah uh because the bag contained his laptop he gave it his all even though he was in The pig was like, I got to see what's on this dude's computer. That's all it wanted.

Yeah. Because the bag contained his laptop, he gave it his all, even though he was in his birthday suit. The boar's flight was slowed by a cardboard box in its path. The man clapped his hand and hit the ground with the stick, prompting the boar to drop the laptop. Another witness said when he returned from the forest, everyone applauded him. a laptop. Another witness said when he returned from the forest, everyone applauded him. Derek Elhurt,

Berlin's ombudsman for wild animals, told local media that such incidents had become increasingly common and that foxes had also become regular visitors to Berlin's lakeside resorts. We urge people to not panic in such a case,

he said. We have so far had no injuries. The animals are quite used to humans. I mean, I guess that makes sense. I just think it's really funny. Yeah, it is funny. It's just a man. It's like something that happens in a cartoon where you're out on the beach

and some wild animal picks up the thing, starts running, you're like, hey, get back here! And it's like... Yeah, that's my favorite Bugs Bunny one where Bugs stole from a naked Elmer Fudd. And Elmer was just like, you wascally wabbit. And he ran around naked and all the other. Yosemite Sam looked at him.

It was like laughing like, oh, yee haw. You know. The classics. Yeah, you know, the classics. Dick out and everything. At At the time it was considered risque But now you know Little cartoon wiener never hurt anybody Yep

Alright well that's it for us Thank you so much for listening and watching However you are enjoying this content Crendor hit em with the socials. Let me tell you about some socials. All right. We've got so many of them, you're not going to be able to handle them all.

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