Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 253- Monkey Busters

Episode Date: August 31, 2020

The boys are back and this week they discover that in Japan, there's a new name in JUSTICE. Also Jesse and Crendor discover foods old people love, and they dare to love them too. All this and so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 15% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee! Check out http://hawthorne.co and use promo code COX10 to get 10% off your first purchase!

Today's episode is brought to you by Hawthorne. Hawthorne is going to get you smelling so good, and let's be honest, you've been stuck inside so long, you don't remember what smelling good is like. You have that nose blindness thing for you, you stinky. You stinky, and you know you stinky, but now you can correct it. We'll talk about that. Also, we're brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies are like clouds for your tush that you wear. We'll talk about that as well. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In a four hour recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Cax and Crendar in the morning. Cax and Crendar in the morning. Hello everybody.

Welcome to an exciting episode of Cax and Crendar in the morning. Hey, what's going on? Like I was saying before we started, I messed up my leg, bro. I don't know what I did. What did you do? I don't know. Like I said, I woke up today with a bruise on my leg that's like a sizable bruise right on my calf. And it is like, ow. Wow. If I sit wrong, like if I like lean my leg, if I don't have my leg at like either a proper 90 degree with my like knee, leg, you know, that whole thing when you sit.

Yeah. Or if I have it stretched out, it's fine. know that whole thing when you sit yeah or if i have it stretched out it's fine but if i do that thing where i like in any way that actively uses my calf muscle instantly it's like yeah it sucks it's like when i sprain my groin muscles or whatever you gotta like sit all weird and you can't like do the you know yes and it's it what sucks even more is I decided, well, you know what? I'll do a sponsored stream today for five hours. And I stood up and my whole – I was like, oh! Oh!

I like almost fell over because I was like, oh! What? I don't know what I did. So dumb. Speaking of dumb, oh my god, dude, the other day. So I went to go get gas. Yeah. I was, I don't know how to describe this couple to you.

I was getting gas. I was putting my gas and walking down the street. Now, the gas station I go to is on the main thoroughfare of Washington. So we're Washington and Lincoln, which are, it's this intersection in LA In Venice And it is very very Popular because it leads directly To Venice Beach

Like you just head straight down Washington And you literally hit the boardwalk Okay And so there's a lot of tourist traffic there A lot of people on those little zoomy scooters And bikes It's a lot of tourist traffic there, a lot of people on those little Zoomy scooters and bikes, and it's very good people watching. So the place I get my gas, because it's the cheapest in the area, is right there. And I'm pumping my gas, and I see this couple, and I'll be real.

I heard them first. I heard this couple, and they were yelling at each other, screaming. And the guy, when I turned to go look, the guy looked like every Florida man we have ever seen. I am not even guessing when I say definite meth head. Definite. And then the woman who's with him, I'm going to say a 60-year-old Asian woman. All right. Maybe. And they're arguing.

And he's like, baby, baby, mind you, this dude, meth head, but still looked like he was, I'm going to say, 22. Very young. But he had the strung out hair and definitely missing patches in the weird beard. And he was very skinny. Not just skinny, but like very. Like the withered in WoW. Yes.

Yes, exactly. That's for the WoW fans out there. And he was wearing a tank top. And you know those runner shorts that dudes used to wear in the 70s? Yes. That was like one wrong move and a ball is definitely coming out? Yeah. That is what he was wearing.

Basketball ones too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what he was wearing. And she, on the other hand, was like this very nice dress And they were coming down from what I assume might have been a restaurant Because they had food in their hands And he's like, baby, baby She's like, don't talk to me

Shut up, don't talk to me He's like, girl, you know I love you And it got to the point where it looked like they were going to actually fight. Like I thought fists were going to be raised. And I was looking around like, should anyone do anything? And then I heard her say, that charged you too much for spaghetti. And the guy looks at her and he's like, that's what it costs. And she's like, you're going to talk them down.

$16 in this economy. And the guy was like, what? And she's like, you're going to talk them down. $16 in this economy. And the guy was like, what? And she's like, come on, spaghetti. I was like, whoa. And here's the thing. She was like, I thought the older, more mature, less druggie one. But I think she was equally a druggie and just like hit it better. She was just like 25 but looked 60.

Maybe you're right. Maybe that's what it was. Yeah. I was like, oh, no. But she looked old, like old, old. And, yeah, they were arguing over the cost of spaghetti at a restaurant down the street. Here's the thing. The restaurant down the street, I'm not – I don't want to say this because I don't want to agree with them.

But the restaurant down the street, they do charge too much for their spaghetti. It's pretty bad. So she was right is what i'm getting at she was right man i only have one like story of overhearing someone uh and i was walking past a bunch of like restaurants and bars and people were eating outside and i heard one guy who i think it reminded me of like the old man on Pawn Stars. And he was just sitting in a chair and he was like, put these things in the fire six times. I want them burned and crispy. What was he talking about?

I don't know. That's all I heard him say. I don't know what he was eating. Don't know what he's talking about. But he said he wanted them in the fire six times. He wanted them burned and crispy, and he definitely smoked a lot. That sounds like Sam

the other day. When we were playing games, and he was like, alright, if you could get rid of one thing, if one thing was drowning, what would you save? Noodles or hamburgers? And Sam was like, obviously I'd save noodles. The only thing I want to drown hamburgers in is a was like, well, obviously I'd say noodles.

The only thing I want to drown hamburgers in is a deep fryer. That's time out. Time out a minute. What? Wait. A deep fried hamburger? I think he's like, I want a deep fry hamburger. And I have so many issues with that. So many issues.

Yeah, I got a lot of issues with that one. many issues. I just... Doesn't sound very appetizing. Some places they probably have deep fried a hamburger, but let's see. It's like that Monte Cristo, that sandwich. Oh, yeah.

It's like, okay, but it's a little much. It's a little, you know, I don't feel like almost dying every time I have lunch Isn't a Monte Cristo like a grilled cheese type sandwich though? Um it has I think even like jam in it What is a Monte Cristo a toasted ham sandwich French toasted cheese sandwich? Doesn't it have it like some weird thing added to it? Yeah, Monte Cristo has... It comes...

Most Monte Cristos have powdered sugar on top and come with some sort of jam. It's ham, turkey, and Swiss. Dipped in... Oh, so it's kind of like French Toast. The sandwich. Pretty much. It's kind of like French toast. The sandwich. Pretty much. French toast sandwich. I assume it was a brunch thing, but

knowing the world, it was definitely a rich old person thing. Oh, yeah. From like the 1930s. They were like, deep fry that for me, Philem. Philem was what they used to call Philip back in the day. I see. In the 1930s to 60s, they had a recipe for it called French Sandwich, Toasted Ham Sandwich, and French Toasted Cheese Sandwich.

That sounds about right. They don't make them anymore because they're not. It's like one of those old-timey, old-people food things. Like, what's that thing called? Like bits and gravy or whatever. Like ham and bits. You know, where it's like this weird toasted ham gravy thing.

I'm trying, I don't remember what it's called. What if I just look up old, old timey food. I'm talking about it's like chipped, chipped beef and the old grip beef and a crack off the old cheese block That's what I'm saying old people foods That's not they're gonna get like apples yeah

No, I had to look up old timey foods and So far I found old timey foods and so far i found old timey yeah well i found a thing that says 23 signs you eat like an old person all right go on number one you cook with lard here's the thing man if i ever actually took the time to cook i hear that's the way to go yeah i agree i think it's uh like instead of using like all the vegetable oils and stuff all i know is when i would eat with like uh meat fat or whatever you call it i felt fine as soon as i use like canola oil and shit my stomach hurt and listen i'm going

off my body some people might be fine it's not like you're going to guzzle it down like, oh, give me a glass of lard or some shit. Right. Greatest generation, y'all. Greatest generation. They had it figured out. Let's see. Number two, you like whole milk. That's true.

I only drink almond milk. That's true. My parents got me – they're big skim milk drinkers But it just tastes like watered down milk to me So yeah I'd rather have my almond milk Almond milk has like all the vanilla flavors I just drink

Unsweetened almond milk I don't even know what that would taste like Tastes like almond water No I don't want to taste like I'm not a big milk drinker I'm not either that's why I drink almond milk But even almond milk I don't I don't want to taste like I'm not a big milk Drinker I'm not either that's why I drink almond milk but even almond Milk I don't like

Viscous milks I don't like I don't like cloudy Drinks Um let's see What about there you go you'll love A frozen meal I don't know sometimes frozen pizza does it for Me no they mean like

your fake rib, your potato and corn like TV dinner. Oh, well, I mean that's true unless they've been fat in which case you're like I'll get a lean cuisine. Yeah, lean cuisines.

Then they watch Wheel of Fortune and yell at the TV. Yeah, there's in cuisines. Then they watch Wheel of Fortune and yell at the TV. Yeah, there's exceptions to that. All right. You suck on Werther's candies. Oh, my God. That's a truther. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can I just tell you, my parents, bless their sweet souls, they somehow, I don't know where they buy them I don't think they're sold anymore I think they find them in like the bargain bin at a big lot I don't know where the hell they find them That does sound like where you'd find them But they keep getting me Not Werther's original

But whatever the Root beer barrels Those little tiny root beer barrel candies They keep bringing me those And they'll drop off My parents are ridiculous Whatever the root beer barrels, those little tiny root beer barrel candies. Oh, yeah. They keep bringing me those, and they'll drop off. My parents are ridiculous. They will leave on my door a bag. The bag will be a bag, a weed bag.

It literally says, like, green dot weed. And then I open it, and inside of it's like Werther's Original Candies. We already used the weed. We gave you the root beer. I think the funniest part is that I can only imagine what neighbors think when they see this delightful couple come over and drop this thing off. And then, like, if anyone ever looked in, it would literally just be, here's the worst part. It's sugar-free versions.

Oh. So it's sugar. They taste terrible. I think this is one of those things where my parents got them. I never said anything. And then they kept giving it to me because they assumed because they never said anything that I like them. I don't like them. What I have to do is because I don't want to waste them.

I literally have one a day. And I suffer through the one a day. I'm like, this is my candy for the day. And I'm like, I waste them. I literally have one a day. And I suffer through the one a day. I'm like, this is my candy for the day. And I'm like, I hate this. I hate it. Sugar-free candy is a sin. It's so gross. Oh, yeah.

It's awful. I'd rather just not eat candy. Right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. I'm trying to be like a good son. So I'm like, all right.

I'll have a root beer candy. Root beer candy? There's nothing fun about that. All right, I'll have a root beer candy. Root beer candy? There's nothing fun about that. Mine's the same with anything that's, like, low-fat, like, whatever, like, sugarless thing or, like, any of those or, like, diet soda. I'm like, listen, I'm going to just drink water before I drink a diet soda.

I don't know. I hate the taste of that, like, you know? It's got that aftertaste. The salty, this weird salty thing? It just has that fake sugar, like, aftertaste like you know it's got that little salty this weird salty thing it just it has that fake sugar like aftertaste you know i know i look based based on your weird mouth noise i got it i understood what you meant it's because i drank it you're like all right and then all of a sudden it's like and i'm like you know not a fan if i'm gonna like i'll just i'd rather just drink water understood i get it.

But you're not a big soda guy to begin with. We just buy little mini Coke cans, and then sometimes I'll drink the whole one, sometimes I only drink half. Sometimes I just want that carbonation hit and the little Coke taste, and then I get, like, halfway through it, I'm like, I don't even want the rest. I'm like, a mini Coke can, unless I'm mixing that with alcohol. I don't want that. Well, I just want the carbonation. Like, some things you eat, and you're like, a mini Coke can? Unless I'm mixing that with alcohol. I don't want that. Well, I just want the carbonation.

Like, some things you eat, and you're like, I wish I had some carbonated Coca-Cola with this one. Then you're like, ooh. And then after a few more bites, you're like, all right, you have a little more. And then I'm like, yeah, that's good. But that just shows that when you drink, you aren't gulping. You're like, oh, no, I don't gulp. Yeah, you have like a little. I think I've been ruined by going to parties and drinking beer

because I'm like, I got to get this down fast because it tastes terrible. Oh, no. When I drink beer or wine, I enjoy that. I drink it slow. I buy the good beer and wine. I don't drink any hard alcohols. So I just buy my good beer, good wine.

I'll be like, have one, maybe two. You clearly never had the college experience of, all right, tonight is on the menu, Natty Light. All right, everyone, let's get a case of Beast. Right? Oh, my God, no. You never had that experience. It's very obvious because you would have learned.

My college experience was Wrath of the Lich King and doing YouTube. That's about it. That sounds about right. Anyway, you eat Jell-O for dessert. That is, yeah, that's old people for sure. You snack on black licorice. That is super old people.

Yeah. You eat your apples baked. You know what? Yo, baked apple's good. Old people, they get stuff right sometimes. I like baked apples. Right? Yeah, I like baked apples.

Honestly, if I eat a normal apple, it upsets my stomach. Yeah, there you go. Bake that apple. Yeah, bake that apple. Soft-boiled is your style of egg choice. Honestly, soft-boiled eggs are pretty good. I'm not a big soft-boiled is your style of egg choice. Honestly, soft-boiled eggs are pretty good. I'm not a big soft-boiled egg person. Actually, I kind of like a medium-boiled.

I don't want a full-on hard-boiled, but a nice medium where it's kind of runny, but not too runny. Hard-boiled that business or stick it in a pan and cook it for breakfast. But anything in between, I'm like, nah, I'm good. All right. all right. You love those Lorna Dune cookies. What? I don't know what that is. What is a, is it the cookie that comes in the blue tin?

There's like different cookies? I don't, they are shortbread cookies. I think they're like little shortbread cookies, apparently. Nah, hard pass. Since 1912? Nah. Thick, rich, and full of buttery flavor. Nah, I'm good.

Yeah, that does not sound good to me. Nah. My favorite one is the different styles of cookie. Old person cookie. They're definitely old people cookies. And they come in like a blue tin. And every time you see the blue tin There's never cookies in it It's always someone's sewing supplies

I'm not sure what that tin's called But I know other people out there know exactly what I'm talking about I clicked on reviews Just to see And it looks like a lot of people love them Well they've been around since 1912 So you know That's probably why

Any Sam's Club My 93 year old father-in-law loves lorna dune cookies it was very disappointing when i could no longer buy them in the warehouse was excited to be pulled i could order them online only disappoint only be disappointed when they arrive mostly crumbled will not order again but that's good because his dad's 90 something he can it's already crumbled up. It's already like the paste he needs. Yeah, you can just like pour them into a glass and blend it up even more. Just drink it down, Dad.

Tastes like 1912. Reminds me of flappers. My other wives were flappers. I was married eight times before I had you. I'm wanted by the law in 16 states. Cottage cheese gives you life. Yeah, that's definitely, there is a declining market in cottage cheese. Yeah, I don't think I'd...

I don't know if I've ever had it, but I've seen it, and I just... Oh, I've had it. It's just the texture of it just does not settle with me. Yeah, cottage cheese, I think maybe back in the 80s is the last time I had cottage cheese. It was like, cool. They definitely gave it to us for lunch in the lunchroom. That sounds even worse. Yeah, it's bad.

That's the last place I'd want to eat it. Cafeteria style restaurants are your jam. That's true. People love buffets. But I also like I like cafeteria style sometimes Especially if you're like in the deep south And you go to get like fried chicken or something

That's where it's at I mean yeah it's like that But then I think we're talking like Old country buffet golden corral Oh aren't those Buffet buffets Not cafeteria style I mean Because cafeteria style?

I mean. Because cafeteria style is where you go up to the thing and they're like, what do you want? And then they give you like, here's your three scoops of whatever. And then your main meal, right? So like you go get chicken, it's like you get the chicken and then the three sides or whatever. They mention the thing. If all you can eat fried food at the Golden Corral is your thing. Oh, well well that's different although to be real they have to be making money i see commercials all the time no that's true

um let's see although i don't know if i'd want to go to a buffet right now no i'm good hard pass you love your grapefruit sprinkled with sugar. Ah, that is a trope. That is an old person trope. My dad loves grapefruit. He loves it. Yep. You live it up with liver. Oh, yeah.

That's, no. Like, if I was out in the wild or, like, we needed food, like, I eat liver. I don't give a shit. But, like, I'm not going to go to a restaurant and be like, liver and onions, please. Yeah. That's, I think that's the difference. I've gone to some restaurants where I've been like, liver

and you're going to grill it? Alright, I'm in. Let's get weird with it. But liver and onions is the 100% old person food. For sure. It is. For sure. Liver actually has a lot of nutrients and shit

Yeah it's actually supposed to be great for you But I think my Grandmother used to eat liver I'd always look in her fridge and be like Gross Cause it was in like a tub And it would say liver And it would be like the bloodiest looking thing I've ever seen in my life

I'm like why you Um Let's see here Let's see the bloodiest looking thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm like, why you? Let's see here. Let's see. You eat beets from a cane. Honestly, I've eaten beets from a jar. I think that's different, though. Were they homemade beets?

They're just like, I don't know, beets from Poland in a jar. You bought at the store. Well, that sounds like fancy beets, though. Also, homemade beets from Poland in a jar. He bought at the store. Well, that sounds like fancy beets, though. Also, homemade beets aren't a real thing. I mean, I guess they are, but... What do you mean? You know, they're not homemade. You're not making the beets.

Homegrown, I guess. Well, yeah, you'd prepare the beets. Sure, sure. I've had, like, beet soup. I've had, like, beets made beets made my family's like a third polish so you gotta eat a beet some of course no that is that's that's in your diet i understand it's in there in the genetics yeah you're 90 percent beet i am very much so. 90% beet, 10% pierogi. It's crazy.

I actually don't like pierogis, but my family... Pierogis, gotta eat your pierogis. I always... I don't know. I didn't like them. They're okay. You love a good pot pie. Here's the thing.

Who doesn't? What kind of monster doesn't like a pot pie? That's true. I like pot pies there it's comfort food yeah um you stock up on cheese that comes wrapped in foil no they're talking they're literally talking about velveta they just can't say butter I'm thinking of butter. Yeah. Butter comes in full. Yeah, Velveeta. For sure. Yeah, that's a – no. Rum raisin and pistachio ice cream. You know what? Pistachio making that comeback.

People out there mocking it. Pistachio making comebacks. Rum raisin. Yeah, pistachio. Rum raisin is like, all right, if you go to one of those artisanal ice cream places and it's actual rum and actual raisin, right? if you go to one of those artisanal Ice cream places and it's actual rum And actual raisin Right like that's good

Let's see here Fiber one kick starts your day Oof You know what that's true And I hope it's still around for when I'm old Fingers crossed Shout out to fiber I hope you're still around. I hope we can still get access to you, because

I have a feeling my future contains poops, so I'm going to need it. Well, every morning, I eat oatmeal, walnuts, and then usually, like, a banana. Well, that's good. See? That's very, very good. I'm just, you know, what if I could have that all in bar form?

Yeah, but see, you gotta, and then you have the coffee. So you get all the blends. So you get like the nuttiness and the dense calories of the walnuts and the omega-3s. That would be too much for my old ass. I just need a bar. Eat some flax seeds. I can't have nuts anymore. My teeth are all fake.

My teeth are all fake. If I eat a nut, my dentures are going to pop out. Come on, man. I got like 11 crowns. Yeah, but this is... I barely eat nuts, too. But this is the... Yeah, you're playing a dangerous game.

You're falling apart, man. I'm trying to help you. Listen. All right. I need this oatmeal. Let's see. Oh, you say, yum the canned fruit cocktail. Yeah.

Oh, gross. Yeah, that's not... I remember. So I don't know if like my parents would try to give me that as a kid or like other but I always hated it. I was like. Yeah.

My parents were very against it. But the schools every school I went to they were like eat your fruit cocktail. Yes. I would only ever eat the pineapples and the cherries

that came in it because they looked like what they were supposed to look like And not just like a mashed fruit goop Yeah, no, I agree with that Let's see Andy's Candies I think we've talked about those Yeah, Andy's Candies That is definitely my grandmother those yeah Andy's candies that is definitely

my grandmother was in andy's candies for sure yeah sure here's the thing I kind of like Andy's candies yeah I mean they're like the really minty right yeah they're just mint chocolate candy it's it's simple it's you know like a little bite-sized it's pretty good it's not bad know, like a little bite-sized. It's pretty good. It's not bad. I don't know where you buy them anymore, but I imagine they're at the grocery store somewhere. But I've never been like, you know what I could use? An Andes candies. Although now I'm like, hmm.

Let's see. You love a mundane piece of Melba toast. I don't even know what that is. Oh, Melba toast. Melba toast is that the really hard bread cracker thing. It looks like a little tiny baguette piece, but it's like it's been dried. Oh, I think I... Okay, I'm just...

Get out of here, cottage cheese. Yeah, there's all sorts of different varieties of Melba toast, but basically it's like little tiny dry slivers of bread. Oh, I think I've seen these. Yeah, I'm not a fan of those. I guess it's like crackers, but it's more than crackers. It's more than crackers. You know that's how they sell Melba Toast.

It's more than crackers. It's more than just a cracker. It's a lifestyle. Melba toast. With five grams of whole grains and two grams of fiber. Okay, so Canned Fields Diet Chocolate Fudge Soda. What the shit? Here, I seem to recall having had that before.

I don't know when, But I feel like I'm I was born in that time period When It still was a thing that existed And so Because my grandparents were into it I got some of it somehow And I don't know how

I don't know why Chocolate soda Yeah like what Yeah interesting I don't know how I don't know why chocolate soda yeah yeah interesting yeah it's definitely it's definitely a thing it's definitely a thing yeah that's in fact I think I have seen it in like stores and stuff. Yeah, I don't seem to recall the chocolate soda location, but I do know that specialty food places have it, but also specialty food places have like awful things as well. Like one time I was in this place.

You know those places that always sell 8,000 hot sauces right Yes yeah there was One section of one of those stores where It also had sodas From around the world and I found Pickle soda and rhubarb Soda and I was like nah I'm out this is gross I can't do this Yeah that's

That's all weird for me too Let's see Oh that's a little weird for me too. Let's see. Oh, that's all of them. All right. Well, that was a tangent that took us off in a place I did not expect to go. Yep. When you're out there again in the world of the living and you want to meet people or hang out with friends or go to interviews or do whatever you want to smell your best and you don't want to have a cologne

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So, MeUndies.com slash crendor is the place to go that's me that's meundies.com slash crendor that's me all right crendor what's our whoa hold on we brought you up to a big news story whoa whoa let's go to jump in the crend there How's that traffic out there Uh traffic out there Is going imagine if I just started Doing the big news story of the day right now That'd be crazy uh but I'm not going to So uh yeah there's some Cars uh I see some going

Left and right up and down Uh wait a second that shouldn't be happening Where am I Uh Uh I don't know where else to go with this bit Uh back to you That shouldn't be happening. Where am I? I don't know where else to go with this bit. Back to you.

Much like you in that helicopter, the bit was falling apart. Yeah, yeah. It sure was. All right, let's go to the weather. Weather. Oh, yeah. Hurricane Laura Laura That happened Yeah it did, wow

That was crazy, I was watching the weather channel Yeah, I was At first I was like, I'm not gonna You know, what is that? It's like how you look at a car accident You can't look away Disaster porn I think is the term Yeah

I was like nah I'm not going to do that And then I got into bed and saw a tweet And then went down the spiral And started looking at every single Tweeted video about it And I was like oh my god Yeah it looks like it was really bad

For that first initial landfall But then moved very very quickly so it sucks that it did as much damage as it did and uh if anyone was hurt that's terrible but thankfully it moved on rapidly yeah it was uh I was watching the who's a

what's it the weather channel they had like Jim Cain Torrey who's always been out there every time I think of him I think of actually like there's that one woman at the restaurant i was eating at and she's like my daughter got to meet jim k and tory um and so there was her very important and like something stephanie abrams i think was her name they're like the weather duo and then they were just out there being like it's crazy it's windy and he's like standing with like a 50 pound vest like shit's blowing out here and then they're like standing in the corner and then like glass broke and like shattered on the thing they're like guys get away

from there there's glass there's glass just like the wind and they like had the microphone you could hear the like wind blowing it was like a freight train like it was crazy and I was like oh my god so I watched that for like an hour I saw the clip of the uh the one woman coming up the stairs that might have been here talking about she was like I'm out here it's really bad she starts walking up the stairs and something explodes nearby and like shrapnel like flies at her and And she's like, I'm good. He's like, what? Lady. Oh, my. Yeah, I think that might have been Weather Champ. They're they're prep, man.

They're ready for that. You're like, I'm fine. I was like, something just exploded. She's like, I'm fine. It's all right. Damn, that's a badass right there. Let's see here. Let's look up.

Let's go to Laura. Laura. Oh, man. Can I tell you? What? In my mind, I was thinking, Crandor is about to look up Hurricane. Let's see if there is a Hurricane.

I thought you were going to look up, but Laura works. No, we're going to Hurricane West Virginia. Okay. Hurricane West Virginia. 66 degrees. Light rain. No hurricanes, though.

It is 100% chance of rain. Actually, how much you want to bet that's the tropical storm, the leftover tropical storm? I think you might actually be right on that one. Shit, dude. This is crazy.

Let's see. Winds, light, and variable chance of rain, 100%. Rainfall around half an inch uh monday thunderstorms 79 degrees tuesday 87 mostly cloudy wednesday 85 scattered thunderstorms 84 80 78 84 83 80 78 77 75 76 78 uh right now humidity 88 percent pressure 29.89 visibility 10 miles wind 2 miles an hour 2.62 uv index 0 of 10 moon phase waxing gibbous waxing gibbous waxing gibbous is definitely a sex move just

no doubt out there no doubter uh also the grass and ragweed are very high. Watch out allergies. There you go, West Virginia. That's the weather. All right, sports. Sports. Hello. Welcome to the sports desk. It is me, Sports Door.

Hello. Hi, Sports Door. Greetings. Greetings to you. Let's see. NFL football closing in. Apparently they did like a billion tests and they all turned up fine except for like four staff workers or some shit. So they progressed forward.

Fine with me. I do my fantasy NFL draft next weekend. Somebody messaged me and was like, Jesse, are you in my fantasy league? And I was like, unless the team has Minshew as QB Nah Yeah it's Actually have you ever played fantasy football Yeah years ago When I really really cared

About catching every game Yes Of course but I haven't in I'm going to say 6 years at least last year i missed the playoffs by like a game because sinvicta couldn't beat rob um wait you're gonna blame sinvicta for that it well i was going on a roll at the end he couldn't do it all right um i was pretty upset because i wanted to make the playoffs uh i picked up, who did I pick up? I think I picked up like Pat Mahomes.

I picked up somebody and they were like carrying me. It was crazy. Either way, NBA, Boston beat Toronto. Clippers beat Dallas. Denver beat Utah. NHL, it looks like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Uh, Vegas is losing to Vancouver. Uh, currently, there's still one period to go.

Colorado lost to Dallas. They're down 3-1, and New York Islanders beat the Philadelphia Flyers to, does that give them the series, or does it go up 3-1? Oh, they're up 3-1 now. Uh, and then Tampa Bay's up 3-1 on Boston. And that's the hockey news. And then baseball. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Wow, the Cubs won 10-1 today.

Nice. And then there's some trades going on. I feel like this is biased news. You're like, all right, let's see what's going on baseball uh the cubs won great and uh moving on to trades um cubs are in first place 2014 biased dodgers and padres and first and second uh the braves first in the east oakland first in the al west white socks and cleveland tied at first in the central and tampa bay first in the East Oakland first in the AL West White Sox and Cleveland tied it first in the Central and

Tampa Bay first in the East and that is your sporting news of the day. Yo, Tampa Bay is killing it with sports right now. They really are. It's kind of crazy because they're always like these off-brand, especially hockey. They're always up there in hockey and for some

reason, I don't know why but like they just they're like in the playoffs and all the canadian teams keep losing do you think it's because hockey players realize that they're only in the ice in the rink and then they can actually go to a beach do you think they're just like we could just go play in the south and it'll be fine i mean you're not wrong they could just like, we could just go play in the South and it'll be fine. I mean, you're not wrong. They could just do that. Why stay in Canada when I could just go down South? I don't know. I'm just putting it out there.

Yeah. And that's sports. All right. What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. So, buckle up. Okay? I'm buckled.

I'm buckled. Yes, I've been doing this for 200-some episodes. I never know what to expect. Three retirees in Japan form monkey busters to defend crops from pesky primates. Go on. Is there a photo of this? Yes. Hold on.

Let me... Please send that photo. Thank you very much. No problem. Oh my god. Yep. It's Japanese grandmas. And they look amazing.

Although. Two of them have pistols. But one of them came armed. Oh my god. That granny has a big gun Wait which Oh yeah that granny does have a big gun Wait whoa whoa how did you not know

There's two There's two handguns and one semi-automatic Uh Yes It's like Listen alright I've been distracted so I'm like looking at People okay Uh, yes. It's like... Listen, alright. I've been distracted, so I'm like looking at people. Okay.

Trio of older women and their air guns have won lots of fans on Twitter. Uh-huh. Throughout history, heroes have appeared when things seem their darkest. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up on this article! things seem their darkest. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up on this article! That

may be the case in a small town in rural Japan where local farmers have been dealing with hordes of hungry monkeys eating up potatoes, onions, eggplants, and cucumbers for the last month. A Japanese language publication in the Prefecture of Fukui reports

at tujafukunkkin.or.jp. Are you having a stroke? Are you all right? I may have had multiple right then. Now help is on the way in the form of three older women who call themselves the Monkey Busters. The trio use their guns to scare monkeys away from the crops. God damn it.

The website says the women are so dedicated to the cause, they often show up to a monkey sighting still in their aprons. So not a moment of monkey scaring is wasted. The monkey busters don't actually kill their targets. Instead, they fire warning shots that are followed up with firecrackers and other loud noises. Wait, so what are they really doing? All they're doing is scaring the monkeys away and then they come back when the ladies aren't around. Well, yeah.

I thought these were like stone-cold killer grannies. They're just like scaring the monkeys? Yes. The women's efforts have been effective for the most part, but monkey buster's leader, Masako Ishimura, refuses to rest on her laurels. We were really troubled by the monkeys. Damage to the crops,

so the three of us cooperated to get rid of the monkeys, she told the publisher. I'll continue to do my best for the region with the feeling of not losing. But, while Ishimura and crew have gotten rid of the monkeys near their small Japanese town,

they have gained followers worldwide based on Twitter comments. It's just a bunch of people tweeting being like, man, this is crazy. And that's it. That's the story. I mean, here's the thing. That's the

story we needed. I don't need much else. I got... I'm disappointed. Actually, I'm happy the monkeys are alive because that means the potential for more Monkey Mondays. However, I'm disappointed that I thought the way they're looking. Here's my problem. That one lady doesn't need that big of a gun if all she's doing is firing off into the woods, not trying to hit anything.

That's a big gun. That the woods not trying to hit anything. That's a big gun. That is a gun designed to, like, shred trees. Yeah, that is. I mean, it is an airsoft gun as well, but still. I guess you're right. But, like, the other two have reasonably sized, like, here's my handgun. And the other one, I mean, it's just excessive.

You might as well just bring a cannon. don't okay you really should someone said whenever anyone from the community reports a monkey sighting it's usually during the day when the women are in the middle of housework or farming however as soon as the sighting is reported they are immediately notified and drop everything to rush to the scene. Yes! They're like Batman. They are like Batman. So yeah, the monkey busters. There you go. Alright, well

that's it for us. Thank you so much for tuning in. Crendor, hit them with the socials! Socials, youtube.com slash coxandcrendorpodcast youtube.com slash coxandcrendor podcast youtube.com slash cox and crendor we're on spotify we're on soundcloud we're on itunes also check us out on our own things youtube.com slash cox and crendor

facebook facebook instagram.com slash notoriocox crendor is taken that was uh definitely a thing okay we'll see y you all next time. Thanks for watching and listening.

And as always, to be continued.