Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 255 - Hurricane Headbanger

Episode Date: September 14, 2020

This week the boys are in search of discovery or something like that... Turns out Crendor has some crazy ideas and Jesse must know why. Also Minshew Mania is back and a crazy many head-bangs in a hurricane AGAIN. All this and so much more, on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Visit http://joinhoney.com/COX to get Honey for FREE today! Go to http://getquip.com/CRENDOR to get your first refill FREE!

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip is going to get your teeth sparkling so that when someone can actually see them in the future, you'll be ready. Also, today we're brought to you by Honey. Honey is going to save you money online. It's that simple. Now let's jump into this podcast.

Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning! In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cacks and Crendogs in the morning!

Cacks and Crendogs in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome to another exciting episode of Gax and Grendor in the morning. Today is a Monday. Yeah it is. It is. Hello. I see what you were doing there. Hi, how's it going?

What was I doing? Well, you were doing David Lynch doing Davidch videos on the internet which are amazing i have been watching him every day i i believe that so when we first did the weather thing i thought it was just like a little one-off thing he was doing no man he is in it yeah he is so back when we looked at it he had a jar and everyone was like what's the jar for well he's using it now yes he's using the jar for the number of the day he has 10 balls ping pong balls they each have a number one through ten he takes the jar he flips it upside down to show you then he flips it back and then he puts his hand in and then he swirls the numbers. Swirl the numbers. That's what he says. And then he picks one out and says, the number of the day

is whatever it is, like eight, 10. And he's done every number but seven. So people are freaking out waiting for him to pick seven. I was going to say, do you think there's a method to the madness? Because this is David Lynch and I, while watching them, I'm waiting for something to happen, but it's very normal. In fact, it's the most normal thing he's ever done, which is why it worries me. I'm confused because I'm trying to figure out the reasoning behind this number thing, but I can't do it. But I do feel like it's something I would also do. I feel like I would love to do a number of the day. I think you would do it because it's really simple and requires no actual effort.

Yes, but is that why he's doing it? That's what I'm saying. Yes, but is that why he's doing it? That's what I'm saying. Is he doing it for another reason? Because I feel like a David Lynchian version of this is he would leave out the number seven, and then the last time he did it, it would all be sevens. That's true, but today I saw the seven in there.

Right, but I don't know. How come he's not ever picking seven? I don't know. It could just be an oddly coincidental thing. Maybe he's waiting for all the numbers to be drawn, and then he's done. I don't know. And then he does the weather report still. So he's like, there's blue skies and golden sunshine.

But now he's like, no blue skies, no golden sunshine but now he's like no blue skies no golden sunshine it's very cloudy and smoggy and smoky and then every time in between he'll be like today i'm thinking about and he'll just say something random like today he was like today i'm thinking about all the positive or i'm making a list of all the positive things in the world. And then he shows his list and there's nothing on it. There's a good one. Oh, David Lynch. Oh, my God. I can't believe that.

Well, you know what? You can definitely tell he's quarantining at home because that is the work of a man who's got nothing better to do. Tell you what? he's getting, you look at his videos for these weather reports, numbers of the day, he's getting between 10,000, 20,000 views every one. That's great. That's better than most YouTubers. Yeah, it's not bad. It's pretty solid, especially if you're uploading every day.

Yeah, every day views? Come on now. That man has it down. I know there's one guy, this blew my mind. I was talking with a YouTube rep, and he was saying that a good channel to emulate if you want to do everyday uploads. Well, some dude, I don't remember his name exactly, but he was uploading like five videos a day, and each video was getting, I don't remember his name exactly, but he was uploading like five videos a day.

And each video was getting, I don't know, maybe a thousand views. But because he was uploading in such high quantities, he was getting like 16 million views a month. I was like, get out of town with this. I couldn't believe it. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, dude's doing great. That's so many views. I know.

I guess he had so many. He has so many videos in his back catalog that it just, he, because he uploads so much and he plays every single game and does everything. Even though his views are low, overall, it accumulates as something great, which is fascinating. I couldn't believe it. I was like, all right, I'm not going to do that, but all right. That's crazy.

That's like, well, that's the thing. It's like, once you hit a certain point, you could just like make a bunch of videos in like a week and then be set for like a month, right? I guess. I don't don't i don't know i don't know i'm so burnt out on youtube i'm literally burnt out i i i just can't i i have all these creative ideas and they're always put on hold because i feel like i have to upload content regularly. And so I just, I don't know. I don't know. I'm over it.

Like, I'm over it. And then I like streaming. But if I stream, that means the YouTube content gets put on hold more. It's just, it sucks. It sucks. Oh, yeah. That's the dichotomy. You pick one or the other.

You do both. But if you do both both you're kind of like you're like i could be going all in on one and then you know it's uh shit's crazy so well that's why one day what if i just make video games. I know. I'm aware. Let me dream. You do that. I'm going to start doing numbers of the day. And a weather report.

I feel like you'll have a better go of it than me. You'll be great. And then I'll be coming online with Jesse's numbers of the day. And people will be like, you're copying Crandor. I'll be like, no. It's my own thing. He does 1 through 10. I do 1 through 100. Well, if I can't do 1 through 10, I'm copying David Lynch. I have to do, like, 1 through 50.

Yeah. You do 1 through 100. I'll do 1 through 100, and then we'll just start a trend. Eventually, there'll be some guy who's like, this pool is filled with balls, and every week I'll pick between one and one million balls! Pfft. Okay.

Okay. That was my ghost ball of the day. Ah, I wonder what... That'll be the Halloween special. Today's number is... I hate this. Six.

I hate this. What are you doing? I don't know. All I'm saying is, I need to start doing a daily weather report. We literally do one on this show. It's only a weekly weather report. You're right. You're right.

Roasted. I don't know. That's one thing I'm doing, watching David Lynch. Sounds great. What else am I doing? What are you doing? I mean, besides finding myself In a Both mental and

Physical crisis When it comes to deciding what to do with my time Besides all that I actually wrote down A note, so the other day I went to Chipotle. I ordered online and went in to go pick it up. And while I was there, in line for actual food, I just want to describe this scenario to you

because you need to really imagine this in your head. All right. So two guys, one guy is, I'm going to say six, four tall, pretty skinny dude, uh, like slicked black hair. And he has kind of like that, like a stubbly look around his, his chin and neck there. He's wearing a white V-neck shirt except it's very distressed so the V-neck is like

almost down to his ribs and he has I'm going to say four gold necklaces on and the guy next to him is in a tight black turtleneck and shorts.

I don't understand it. I have no clue. With these two guys is this girl who is, I mean, she was young. I'm going to say 19, maybe 20. But she was dressed like, I don't want to say like how my grandmother would dress, but she definitely was dressed like someone who is not from this decade. I don't know how to describe it. What she was wearing was not something I would, I don't know if it was ironic. I don't know if they were there ironically, this group, these three.

I don't know what was going on, but don't know if they were there ironically, this group, these three. I don't know what was going on. But they did not – they looked very out of place. Like they were aliens that went to a thrift store and then came to Chipotle. It made no sense. Anyway, while I'm waiting because my food wasn't ready yet, I'm standing over in sort of the waiting area. And the dude, the tall guy with his distressed shirt and his like friend are cackle laughing at this girl. And she looks at them and like

shouts. I clearly missed the beginning of this argument. Shouts at them. If you think this is funny, you'll think it's funnier when i leave you and he looks back at her and says you're not gonna leave and then the friend like laughs and then they do not talk the rest of the time they're there and all i could think about was like this is way too heavy a conversation to be having in line at chipotle y'all waiting to get like mid-level kind of crappy burritos. Why is this the conversation you're having? And I don't know what was going on. They stopped talking to each other.

And then I got my food before they got up to order. So I have no idea what this conversation, how it started. All I know is she was like, I'm going to leave your ass. He's like, no, you you're not And I was like whoa And then they just shut up And I don't know Maybe this is a me thing I'd love to know

For people listening out there I If I am in a fight with a significant other Like even if it's like a really dumb You know like not even really a fight. Right. But if we're having a disagreement, I never want to have it in public because not because it's embarrassing

because I think like, boy, I don't want to ruin everyone else around us day because we're acting like idiots in public. I don't, I don't know, but I often will find myself. I think,

I think back to the last girl I dated't know, but I often will find myself, I think back to the last girl I dated, where one, we were out somewhere, and she was really upset about something, and I couldn't figure out what. And rather than address it, I was like, I'll wait until I get home to talk to her about it, because I don't want it to be a thing. And then it only made her more mad. And I was like, what do you mean? I'm not going to sit here and argue with you on, like, a street corner.

I'm not trash. What the hell do you want from me? Yeah, I think it's, I don't know, making, like, a public scene about something. Like, you definitely wait. Right? Of course. I think. But I guess I also maybe that's insensitive.

I don't know. I have no idea. I'm trying to think why you would need to do a thing immediately. But I don't know that I'd ever want to fight someone at Chipotle. If I'm like an argument with my girlfriend at Chipotle, I'm not going to be like, you know what? You'll never leave me, Cheryl, or whatever. What a crazy thing to just shout at a person. And then for there to be silence and everyone there is just like,

should we do something? Is this going to be a problem? That's what it does. And I know people are like, well, I don't care. I don't care what people think. I do. I do care. I'm not out there trying to get people like, sir, sir, sir.

No, no, no, thank you. I don't have time for that. I also realized, like, I don't have – I wouldn't have patience for that relationship. She was a beautiful girl, but I would be like, mm-mm, I can't do this. I can't do this right now with you. I don't think we should be together. If we're going to fight in public, I'm out. I can't do this.

This is too much drama for me. Anybody that wants to fight in public is like, that's a red flag right there. I was like, uh-uh. Nah, I'm not about this life. That's all I could think about the drive home was just like, wow. I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone who just wants to fight me in public for no reason. Although, I don't know. Maybe he said something really awful.

I don't know. I will simply say the three of them looked like they were vampires coming out of – I don't know what they were dressed like. They were dressed like they were dressed like how i imagine models on a runway dress but just at chipotle it was crazy it was so crazy oh my god well thing is like if you can fight like that in public then you probably fight even worse when you're in private absolutely yeah there's no there's no reason to suspect that that's any better in private.

Yeah. I'm not even a very argumentative person, so I can't even imagine doing that. It's just I couldn't believe it. I was just like, I'm just here for my burrito. Okay. It was so awkward. Crandor. It was made more awkward because she was like, I'll leave you.

And then he was just like, no, you won't. Like, whoa, who says that? Whose comeback is that? Like, crazy person is who that is. That's like, no, you won't. I won't let you. Yes, that is. The implication is what I was like oh no And the fact that there was another

Dude with them who I never Heard his actual voice only his Laugh he laughed at Everything the other guy said that was it that's all he did So he's like the yes man But he's like a laugh man I guess And I'll never forget it was in a black

turtleneck and red shorts. Black turtleneck red shorts. Are you expecting to find this guy on the internet? I mean there can't be many of them. There's a

black turtleneck guy that's got like plaid shorts. No. I just can't imagine this is a fad or a trend people are. Man, check out my new outfit. Black turtleneck, red shorts. And they weren't stylish. They were like gym shorts.

Red gym shorts. Oh. Okay. Black turtle. I don't know how you're trying to justify this. It was bizarre. I'm not trying to justify it. I just want to see. I just need like a picture.

There is no picture that is out there. No one has ever dressed like this. These people are their own style. You know what? You might be right. I can't even find it on Google. That's what I'm saying. One guy looked like he was some sort of model, and the other

guy looked like he was probably a fashion reviewer, and then she looked like she was probably the fashion designer because she dressed like she was from 1832. It was crazy. Crazy. I've located one picture.

But he's not wearing red shorts. That's almost what it was like. If you can imagine those black shorts being red, that's almost what it was like. Yes. All right. All right. Was he the laugher? Yes.

That was the laugher guy. Okay. Okay. That does seem like a laugher outfit where he'd be like, no, you will not leave. And he'd be like, yes, that's pretty. He's like, oh, I was like, oh, my dude. No, no. That was terrible.

It was so awkward. I wrote it down as it was happening, and then I left. That's all I could think about all week was how utterly awkward that situation was. That is like if I've ever heard of an L.A. story. It was super L.A. Very L.A. Yeah. That's not going to happen like anywhere else. Maybe like New York or something.

Some other crazy. New York would have been like, I'll leave you, Phillip. You ain't going to leave me, Sheila. I've given you 26 of my best years. I'll kill you, you bastard. That'd be New York. She would have been like, shut up shut up yeah for sure new york they would have actually had an argument like a real argument in that i should have married your sister

yeah a whole thing i can imagine go ahead marry her see if i care yeah la is more like i will ruin your acting career. Which is like, eh. And then silence as someone's just like, I'd like to see you try. Like, okay. All right, then. Director runs in and he's like, and cut. Cut.

We got it, everyone. Beautiful, beautiful. Nice reactions, everyone. You're going to be on candid camera next week. We need to sign paperwork. You've all signed waivers by walking into the building. You're in our new Burger King commercial. There it is.

See, that's probably all it was when you really boil it down. This Chipotle was actually a Burger King. That's right. We got you. Wow. I didn't realize I was eating a Burger King. That's right. We got you. Wow. I didn't realize I was eating a Whopper this whole time. You opened the burrito. It's just a Whopper rolled up in the shape of a burrito.

If Burger King actually went through with the effort to do something like that, that'd be impressive. You just had the new Bk whopper burrito it's a whopper rolled up like a burrito bk whopper burrito why do you why do you look these things up like they definitely burrito there's an actual burger king burrito dis no no burrito nope the whopper rito the whopper rito no oh my oh my god that looks awful introduced in 2016 why would you get this? It looks terrible. Oh, my God. It looks so gross. Although everything at Burger King looks gross.

So, whatever. Yeah, that. Hold on. I'm just checking the only thing that matters. The Burger King Whopperito food review. Someone, this guy. This guy opened his Whopperito food review. Someone, this guy, this guy opened his Whopperito and on the inside, it literally is just

all the parts of a Whopper chopped up and put in a burrito shell. I will say, Reviewbra just gave the Whopperito a 7.7 out of 10. Reviewbra is mistaken. This was four years ago.

I feel like maybe his palate hadn't been... ReviewBraw was wrong. He was in the bag for BK. I know that... Wait, what? What? Speaking of which, can I just... Oh, my God.

There's an article. Shut up. I can't believe this is a real thing. The Whopperito has pickles on it. What the shit? That's what I'm saying, dude. All right, here we go. I can't believe this is a real article.

Bloomberg News published this article. This is real. I don't, oh my god, so many pop-ups. Bloomberg, no one cares about your 8,000 pop-ups. Okay, here's the headline. I can't believe how relevant this is. Burger King takes a bite out of Chipotle customers with the Whopperito. Yet burger chains have had mixed results when trying to branch into Mexican fare. McDonald's in 2002 tried to sell chicken fajita roll-ups at some Southern California restaurants.

No one really took to them. Yeah, I can't imagine anyone's like, hey, I'm hungry. You know what I really want? A Whopper, but as a burrito. Chipotle has been trying to lure back customers with coupons and new loyalty program that allows customers to earn free food. Still, Mexican eatery is struggling to revive traffic. Now, when I get a burrito, right, what I get, okay, is I get the rice. You gotta get the pinto beans. Sometimes I will get black beans, actually.

I'm not a big bean fan. What? I like beans separately. I just don't want beans on my burrito. What? What? I like beans separately. I just don't want beans on my burrito. What? What? I'm going to keep saying what until you answer it. I get beans on burritos elsewhere. I just don't like Chipotle's beans.

I think their pinto beans don't have any flavor. I don't think their black beans are undercooked. That's all. All right. I will say their black beans are, like, undercooked. That's all. All right. I will say their black beans are undercooked a little bit sometimes. You know, I'm just, you know, I'm not a fan of their beans. And sometimes, you know, I'll have to get steak because when I look at their chicken,

it looks like their chicken is funky nasty. You know, it's just you got to go with the flow. All right. Okay. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. All right. No. So you do that and then you get the peppers, onions.

Then I'll either do stick and sticking. You got to do the sticking. Got to do the sticking. I mean, sticking is great. I'll do the steak or chicken depending on my mood. Yeah. Barbacoa. That's straight to heartburn town.

Oh, that's prime heartburn town. Yeah, you don't want to avoid that at all costs. Two old men talk about Chipotle in the show. You want to avoid that in barbacoa? That's heartburn right there. No doubt, no doubt. But then you get a little sour cream. You tell them a little sour cream you don't I don't I don't do that Yeah, no, I go zero sour cream because they don't know how to manage their spoon size there if you say sour cream They're like, okay

It is so much It's growing someone took the bottle and you like start shaking it and you try to squirt some out, and it just goes like, and it splats it all over. That's the amount they do. It's so much. It's unnecessary. It's so much. So when you say a little sour cream, then they do a normal amount. And then I'll usually get corn.

And I used to get lettuce, but then sometimes it's too lettuce-y, so I just don't get lettuce. See, I like the lettuce, because my Chipotle they don't put enough on So I get just enough because they much more late. They they be scrimping. They're just like I'm like yeah Can I get the chicken and rice and they're like okay rice they take? the whole tray of rice and dump it on your burrito and Then they get like one teaspoon of chicken And then everything else is like a little dash And you're like wow this rice wrap is great Oh yeah they're brutal there

I hate it I don't know why I keep going back I hate it Then I'll get a side of guac and then I dip it in the guac Sometimes Have you ever gotten it where like your guac Has like a piece of steak in it? No.

I don't know what goes on, but they, like, cannot manage their... I think my Chipotle just sucks. They literally... Those times where I'll get, like, a side of guac, like, in the guacamole is just, like, one piece of steak that, steak that like fell off a burrito or some shit. And just as in the, and they're like, yeah, all right, scoop. Like what is going on? Unreal. Yeah, I think you just got a bad Chipotle.

Yeah. You know, I have to make, I have to make choices. And when it's 10 PM and I'm like, I haven't eaten dinner yet. You know, you get what you get um so yeah chipotle chipotle and people yeah it's all started because we were horrified by burger king making a burrito but now i'm horrified by chipotle making burritos yeah Yeah, it's, uh, you should have been, went to the Chipotle people and been like,

you know what? I'm going to leave you. And then they'd be like, you'll never leave. And they're right. You'll never leave Chipotle. You'll always be back at some point.

Yeah, it's weird. Every time I'm like, I'm over it. I'm over Chipotle. I'm like, you know what? I want Chipotle, which is so crazy. Oh yeah. It is weird. Every time I'm like, I'm over it. I'm over Chipotle. I'm like, you know what? I want Chipotle, which is so crazy. Oh, yeah.

It is crazy. I've had like twice I ate Chipotle, and I was like, oh, this made my heart burn and my GERD so bad. And then like two weeks later, I'm like, but what if I got Chipotle? That's what I'm saying. I don't know what's going on. I don't know. I don't have that with anything else. I don't know. I don't have that with anything else. I don't know

why. It's a very weird hold they have over me. And I can't tell if it's a comfort food thing, because that shouldn't be the case at all. But, yeah, for some reason, Chipotle, I'll just pop into my head like, you know what? What if I got a burrito bowl?

Shut up, brain. What if we did it? Oh my God that reminds me of like the pumpkin spice Yeah, no, it was like here's the thing pumpkin spice is everywhere now, right? Everybody loves their pumpkin spice, but all right sure well. I mean I'll concede this yes Alright, sure. Well, I mean, everybody in a sense. I'll concede this, yes. Everybody in a sense. But, here's the thing.

I enjoy a pumpkin spice latte twice. Two times. I'll have it right when it comes out, and I'll be like, alright. And I get, like, the smallest version. They used to have tall, and now you can get a small. So I get the small, and I drink that, and I'm like, alright, I'm good. I don't know how you drink, the small is like a baby cup. Exactly. I don't know how you drink that and I'm like I'm good I don't know how you drink the small It's like a baby cup I don't know how you drink that It's so small

I'm not drinking it I'm not drinking it to get full I'm not saying get full A tall is a fine size It is a fine size But sometimes I don't want Like an entire tall I just want like A taste I wish I could live your life i just want like a taste i wish i could

live your life or i'm like a taste will do me i'm like that was good oh all right that was still good oh i need to go back let's get some more no because like here's the thing all right i got that small then the next time i got it i got a tall which was like a few days ago i'm like you know i'll take a pumpkin spice and i got a tall i drank like maybe i drank i think half of it no it's like i don't want the rest it's too much you hit a point where you hit a point yes i hit a point where i'm drinking it like not out like not for the enjoyment of why i started drinking it man you are you are living on a different different wavelength than me i'm like i paid eight dollars for that damn thing i'm gonna drink all of it no no that is not me

there's my thing it's like i paid four bucks i didn't pay for the whole thing i paid for the experience and once i experienced that i'm like i'm good man you live in you live in your best life wow i wish i could i wish i had that when i pay for an experience i'm like i want all of the experience i don't want a taste of it i paid for all all of it. And by God, I'm getting all of it. Until I can't feel my stomach. That's not what I want. I'm just saying, like, I'm not going to buy a venti or whatever the supersized one is. I'm not going to buy that.

That's crazy. I want one that I can, like, oh, I'll sip this while I run errands or whatever. Right? Like, that's. And then I'm like, oh, it's gone because I drank everything I paid for, right? But I'm not out there like, give me the triple size. Now, the only time I do that is if it's like an actual regular coffee. Like, if I order, sometimes I'll get the reserved coffees, and it's like a good coffee.

I'm like, wow, this is good, and I'll sip that before I know it, that's gone. Well, this, all right Alright here's the difference I actually will admit that It's a negative In my case When I was in Seattle And went to I think Kristen and I went to a Starbucks reserve And They had a tasting

Thing where it was like Try cups Of all of our coffees, our four main specialty ones that you can only find here at this restaurant. And I was like, hell yes, let's do it. And then I found out Kristen has her nut allergy, which I keep forgetting. And so there's the potential that she could get sick from this. So I ended up having to drink all four cups myself.

And a normal person would have been like, well, I sipped them, and I got the experience. I was like, no, this was so much money. I'm going to drink all four cups. I was so sick. I was like, oh, my stomach. Oh, yeah, I was messed up So alright I am a fool

I will admit my defeat Alright good At least we've gotten to that conclusion Where was I going with this Even with like sody pops You know Well I don't I mean Soda general, if you have too much, like a giant ass soda, that's, it's too much.

It's too much. Yeah. No, that is too much. Now, like what I do, I'll buy the little Coke cans. You buy like the big ones, you buy the little ones. So I buy the little ones. And then sometimes I don't even drink that whole can. I drink like half of that. See, that I think is crazy.

The little ones are so small. Unless they're used for mixing in with drinks. Even then, a normal 8-ounce can is fine. I feel like, here's the thing. You are, like, I don't know You're I want to say healthy is the word I'm looking for Um

And I think I fit in with the rest of the country As not healthy And so I feel like I speak for the majority of us when I say A normal Coke can's fine Okay Well okay here's the thing. You gotta like... Yes.

A normal 12-ounce can, right? That's what it is? 12 ounces is like a normal can, isn't it? I thought it was 8. Isn't 8... Isn't it? I don't know. What are the sizes? Maybe you're just mixing it up here. Maybe I am. Uh,

Minnesota. Yeah, the Minisotas are in a 7.5 or 8-ounce can rather than the standard 12-ouncer. Oh, all right. Maybe 12 ounces is what I'm thinking of. Yeah, you're thinking of 12. Seven and a half is the small ones. Well, all right. 12 ounces, I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan of 12.

Well, back in high school, I used to drink like two of those a day. I love me my soda pops. I mean, that's why you were so fat. Exactly. So now I get the little one. So essentially, I only drink like three ounces, but I drink it because I want the carbonation and the sugary Coke taste with like a meal. So if you eat like a chicken dinner something you got rice you got vegetables you sometimes you just want that like and the little

like bubbles and the carbonation everything and then once i hit that point of like hey you know i drank half of it i got everything i wanted out of it then i don't want the rest i mean all right yeah i guess i guess i I feel like that's your thing You operate off a different wavelength Than me And I wonder if this is because Were you raised in a household Where

Your parents would say things like You have to finish everything On your plate because their children are starving In Africa like that kind of thing No I think that's the difference You have to finish everything on your plate because their children starving in Africa like that kind of thing. No. All right. I think that's the difference.

I think most people I know do that or because their parents were like, you better finish your plate of food. Yeah. No. Toaster woman's more like that. She came from like a household where they're like, yeah, I do everything. So she's like, I'm part of the clean plate club. Yeah, clean your plate. And I'm like, I don't clean anything anything i ate my i ate what i wanted to eat if i eat more than that i'm gonna get some ibs gastritis and i can't afford that yeah i mean

you're right i guess i guess that has to be it the because it definitely seems like you have a different mentality of I eat what I think is enough to fulfill my desire to eat it rather than I bought a thing so I should finish the thing I bought or else it's going to waste. Yes. I guess I'm more of a wasteful person. I believe that. I mean, are you a big leftover person? Not really.

I'm always on leftovers. Yeah, yeah. I'm also not a big leftover person unless it's like a pizza or whatever. Yeah, if it's like pizza or something like that, it's like, all right. But just general leftovers, I'm like, bleh. Yeah, which is why I will order just enough for the one meal. I don't want to have too much food, which is why, again, going back to the reason I wanted to try that oven,

was I don't like the idea of leftovers or prepping for a week. Because my whims when it comes to food, I'm not like, man, I'm so excited to have chicken and broccoli every day this week. You know, like that kind of thing. Yeah. I don't want to prep a lot of, I don't know, people are like, you're crazy, Jesse. Maybe I am. You got me.

Maybe I am crazy. Maybe you are crazy. Maybe I am crazy. I also realized that I really like the start of fall that's like my favorite season i think i think you mentioned this last time but you love you love just the concept of fall the changing seasons oh did i mention last time yes i remember what i mentioned but then yeah because i like fall start of fall and like the middle of summer, and then maybe like the end of spring. And then maybe the start of winter, too.

It was like the four best. That's why I think that just reminded me because of pumpkin spice. You right. But then where you are, it's just like hot. I mean, where I'm at, it's on fire right now Oh yeah, it's literally on fire It's very hot Is it like harder to breathe?

Um, thankfully I spend, you know, 20 hours a day inside So it's not that big of a deal at the moment But I mean, doesn't the smoke like,'t the smoke leak into your apartment or something? Well, where I'm at, there's no... The sky has a hue to it, like an orangish hue. But there's no... If I were to drive up towards Hollywood, you can start to smell burning. Ah, I see.

But down where I'm at, there's none of that. Like, you can't smell it. It, like, isn't hopefully in the air. But a lot of people I know who live up north-ish, they are having, like, warnings to not go outside because the air quality is really bad and stuff like that. So now my sympathies didn't go outside before. Now you can't go outside.

Cause everything's on fire. Yeah. That sucks. That sucks. I'm thankful. I live where I live in the city because thankfully that's not a big deal here. I'm thankful. I live where it rains.

We had rain for like four days in a row. Yeah. But then that in the winter that becomes snow and that's four a big deal here. I'm thankful I live where it rains. We had rain for like four days in a row. Yeah, but then that, in the winter, that becomes snow, and that's, four days of snow, that's bad news. Yeah. Yeah. First day's fun. Yeah, it's very beautiful the first day, and then after

a while, you're like, well, I guess we shouldn't bother shoveling anymore, because it just keeps coming. And it just becomes slush. Then it becomes like muddy slush. And if you're in Chicago proper, it becomes like pink. Last time I was there in the winter, it was so gross. I was like, is this pink snow?

Yeah, it's all salted. So it's just different colored salts. And then it's like pink and weird. It's weird. Yeah, I've seen blue snow. I'm like, great, very cute. Yeah, but that's why that's the worst part of the seasons. That ranks in the bottom tier.

End of winter, one of the worst. Yeah, oh, yeah. But it leads to spring, one of the best. Yeah. Wow, look at us wow wow uh well speaking of wow uh let's talk about quip when's the last time you got rewarded for brushing your teeth just think about it think about it when's the last time you got something crendor for brushing your teeth. Uh, I don't can't remember. Well, with Quip's new smart electronic toothbrush,

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Every time I use it, I'm blown away. I'm going to let you know. I used to get toilet paper on Amazon. Now I'll just go to Walmart because it works with Walmart, and the Walmart is just cheaper because Honey will be like, I got you, dude. It's that simple. I'm trying to save money over here, people. Honey has over 17 million members with over $2 billion in savings. It supports all kinds of retailers from tech to gaming sites to fashion brands to even

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All right, Crandor. Let's go to the chopper. How's that traffic out there? Oh, man. I can barely see anything up here because everything's on fire. You're in California? All right. Now I am.

But now I've passed up the fires And we're into the Midlands Looks like down there there's some buffalo The Midlands Where are you at? Okay, Middle Earth We are in Middle Earth The orcs of Prosperous Down in Darakumbar

That's where they live Tolkien Yep Don't look at me, Darakumbar? That's where they live Right Tolkien Don't look at me Derek Hoonbor That sounds like made up to me That's not well technically it's all made up But some more creatively than others Then Yeah look at over there

You got the horses You got some Oh there goes one car. One car going down the road. And I don't see it anymore. That's the traffic report. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the Weather Desk.

How's that weather? Weather time. It's a weather time. I actually, we got a request for weather. A weather request? Weather in Top Sham, Maine. time. I actually, we got a request for weather. A weather request? Uh, weather in Top Sham Maine. Looks like people are submitting weather. We'll take your weather request.

That saves Crandall the trouble of having to type in Winter Wonderland and seeing if it pops up with something. That's true. Ooh, however I hiccuped as I said that. Winter Wonderland. Oh, look up Winter Wonderland. It's gonna take us to like Waikikied as I said that. Winter. Oh, look up winter. It's going to take us to like Waikiki or something weird like that.

Winter wonder. Wait, no, that's just wonder like winter. Yeah. All right. So the top sham. Top sham main. Top sham main. You think that's how it's actually said?

Or is it like Top Sham It's probably Top Sham But I like Top Sham Top Sham It's like Top Chef but for scams And hams Top Sam Top Sam's

Get your Top Sam's anywhere you want Specifically Top's Yeah, Top's Friendly Markets So it looks like it's in southwestern maine uh oh yeah look at that oh yeah look at that it is in maine and then it's let's see there's augusta maine right north of it maine goes all the way up there it's like canada and there's new brunswick are you just discovering maine for the first time what's north of it. Maine goes all the way up there. That's like Canada. And there's New Brunswick. Are you just discovering Maine

for the first time? What's happening to you? Whoa, Maine goes all the way up there. I never look up this way. Wow, Maine is all the way up there. What the shit's up here? Newfoundland and Labrador. And there's a place called Happy Valley

Goose Bay. You've never seen Newfoundland and Labrador. And there's a place called Happy Valley Goose Bay. You've never seen Newfoundland? I've seen Newfoundland. I just haven't seen Happy Valley Goose Bay. Oh, my God. There's so many crazy places. Wait, what the? All right. I'm getting off track yes you are there's a caribou main yes you think caribou live there probably or did they're probably all dead

now let's be real that's true uh 64 degrees fahrenheit Topsham, Topsham, Maine. 15% chance of rain through 11 p.m. You got a high of 64, low of 59. Humidity 90%, 29.94 on the pressure. 10-mile visibility, dew point 61. You got a six-mile-hour winds coming out of the north. You got a moon phase that's a waning crescent and if you take a look at the 10 day you got 71 partly cloudy then you got 65 sunny 72 sunny 75

64 60 60 63 67 70 70 67 66 66 i uh i went to go look up because you know if people are gonna request us to look up their towns i'm going to roast their towns obviously yes of course so i went to go look up topsham main and i looked up best things to do in topsham main number one best thing to do cross the androscoggin Swinging Bridge. Wait, what? Number one is cross a swinging bridge. Wait, hold on. It gets better. It is a bridge that swings over a river.

It's like a purposefully wobbly bridge. Huh. Number two is then walk along the water of that river. Number three is play golf at the Crips Creek Disc Golf Club. The photo of the golf club, it looks like a forest. I don't see where the actual golf is. Number four on this list, watch a movie at Smitty's Cinema. I love Small Town America.

Oh, my God. Number four, best things to do, go see a movie. This reminds me of growing up in Oakland, Ohio. Oh, my God. Number five, best thing to do, try an escape room. That does sound like a small town America. Now they just need like number six, drugs. Number seven is wet your whistle at the bootlegger's beverage warehouse.

So, I mean, that's pretty close. That's pretty close. There's probably some drugs at the bootlegger's whistle wetters. Oh, my God. This is exactly how I would describe it. If I had to say to someone, what are the top things to do if you went to Oakwood, Ohio? Number one would be go to Schaefer Park. Number two would be eat at Marion's Pizza. Go to Schaefer Park.

Number two would be, eat at Marion's Pizza. Number three would be, go for a ride down the bike path. Number four would be, try our new rallies. There was nothing to do. There was nothing to do. Yeah, that's pretty much nothing to do. Oh my that's it's pretty much nothing to do oh my god that's so funny well i'm glad i know that topshamane exists and i'm glad i know that they are known for their swinging bridge that's the weather yeah all right sports sports

welcome back to the sports desk where nfl football played today, as well as Thursday. On Thursday, the Chiefs beat the Texans 34-20. Today, the Bills beat the Jets. Packers beat the Vikings. I watched that one. Aaron Rodgers looking great. The Washington football team beat the Eagles. Nice.

The Ravens beat the Browns. The one you've all been waiting for the jaguars beat the colts minshu touchdown minshu 19 of 20 173 yards and three touchdowns he only missed one pass out of 20 telling you i i think we're we're on the ground floor of greatness we're on the ground floor of greatness. We're on the ground floor, my friend. Start the fan club. It's happening. Let's see. Do you have any quotes today, Gardner Minshew?

He said, that just shows you what we can do right there, Minshew said. That's just an effing glimpse. We ain't even scratching the effing surface yet. Don't be satisfied with 1-0. We got another division game coming up, so bring it in this week's practice. Iron sharpens iron. Yes! Yes!

My man is gone. He is gone full Rambo. He is Schwarzenegger the end of Predator. I'm ready for this. He is full. If it bleeds, we can kill it, and I'm so excited yeah this guy god yes this is we've seen other players we thought were like gonna be great this is it we have found the true greatness someone this week sent me a link to buy a gardner minshu headband

and i i almost bought it i was like i don't i don't need a headband But I really want this I full on support I am not a Jag fan But I full on support them And all their minstreness Go Jaguars We were in there When he was just like They were bringing him in for two games

We were there We were ready I think the world's ready now As per usual we set the trend we do trendsetters unlike that's cool the las vegas raiders beat the panthers the bears beat the lions because the lions don't know how to catch a pass in the end zone that's like anyone's grandma could have caught. The Seahawks beat the Falcons.

The Patriots, with Cam Newton, beat the Dolphins. The Chargers beat the Bengals. The Cardinals beat the 49ers. The Saints beat the Tom Brady Buccaneers. And currently the Rams are beating the Cowboys. That sounds about right. Yep. Over in the NHL, Tampa Bay up 3-1 in that series against the Islanders.

Stars up 3-1 on the Vegas Golden Knights. Over in basketball, the Lakers beat the Rockets to advance, and the Clippers taking on the Nuggets go into a game 7, and the Heat take on the Celtics. In the East, and in baseball, the Cubs pitcher threw a no-hitter, so that's kind of neat. That's sports. All right. Crandor, what is our big news story of the day?

Big news story of the day. How's your Google search going? That bad, huh? Yeah, it's kind of bad. Do you remember the man who headbanged in a hurricane with an American flag? I do remember that guy, yes. Well, the famed headbanging Florida man in Louisiana for Hurricane Laura. That's right.

Why is this a thing? Why? Stop this. Why? Lane Pittman, a Jacksonville resident who seems to only appear during major hurricanes so he can headbang to slayers raining blood while shirtless has risen from the swampy depths to slay hurricane laura why are they trying to make it sound like he's a superhero uh you know so pitman apparently traveled louisiana to headbang as he does and posted a video to twitter quote louisiana florida man is here for you laura you raggedy she devil get some and then an American flag I literally slapped my knee

My old man slapped my knee That was so funny You she devil You she devil Why is this guy so Why is this his thing you know what this is this is internet culture run amok this guy got virally famous for doing it once years ago and now every time a damn hurricane shows up he has to drive wherever there's a hurricane and make a new video of him headbanging

in it one day he's gonna get hit by a damn trash can and get killed. Now, I decided to go to his Twitter, which is TheBigGuy904. He says, this was the first time in eight years I could just be a fan. Thank you, Jaguars, for allowing

us in. Then he said... Shut up! Of course he's a Minshew fan. Of course. Then he said... Shut up! Of course he's a Minshew fan. Of course. Then he keeps retweeting Jaguars things, being like, yeah, Jaguars. And then, at the top,

his pinned tweet is the Foo Fighters saying LANE PITMAN in all caps. And then he said, that's me. Holy crap. This guy's amazing. I think I would have a great time with this dude. This guy seems like a ton of fun. Dangerous, life-threatening, but a ton of fun.

Then he is. Oh, my God. September 9th, he posted a thing that says, only grams, which is his grandma. And it's just four pictures of his grandma his grandmother looks amazing his grandmother's like rock on dude i know oh my god oh my god and september 6th he said 80s music just makes everything better he's not wrong this This is this guy. Holy crap, this dude. Maybe he is a superhero.

Maybe he is. Yeah, I think so. I made fun of him at first, but now the more I learn, the more I'm like, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. He is well known for headbanging during Hurricane Matthew as well as Florence, but he's also known for shredding the national anthem so hard on the 4th of July, cops were forced to arrest him for breaching the peace.

Yep. Now, I want to let you know, the article didn't need to say that. They keep making him sound like a serious... They didn't even say he shredded so hard. That's unnecessary. It'd be like if they wrote, he melted so many faces that night that the cops had to show up. That is...

Man. that is man that is a true American hero you are correct you are correct alright well that is it for us thank you so much for listening or watching or however you enjoy this Crendor hit em with the socials

we've got so many socials we've got youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast that's where all these podcastss. We've got youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. That's where all these podcasts go up. We've got youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor. That's where animations go up. You can search for us on Spotify, SoundCloud, iTunes, every other podcast place

probably. Also, follow us on our normal things. Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox. Twitch.tv slash Crandor. YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Crandor. Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox. Facebook.com Okay gang, thank you, we'll see you next time, and as always, I'm gonna get some hot cocoa.