Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 260 - The Kind Sorta Maybe Halloween Episode

Episode Date: October 26, 2020

The boys return once again to complain about the nonsense of the week, and judge Halloween candy top ten lists. Also Jesse encounters a crazy no mask person who spoilers was definitely drunk and racist. Meanwhile Crendor tells us the tales of his time in a roving pack of trick or treaters. All that good stuff and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://hellotushy.com/cox to get 10% off! Go to http://hawthorne.co and use promo code cox to get 10% off your first purchase!

Today's episode is brought to you by Hawthorne. Get smelling good in your neighborhood with Hawthorne. Also today we're brought to you by Tushy. If you have a butthole, this is for you. Let's get into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dom. This is Trend Dom in the morning. In the morning.

Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cows and Crennog in the morning! Cows and Crennog in the morning! Hello everybody! Welcome to another exciting episode of Cowsing Crandor in the morning.

Hey, what's up? The world, the world is happening around us, buddy. It's just so exciting. The world's always happening, dude. I know, man. Yeah. Today I learned the definition of Sonder. Sonder, I've heard of that.

I feel like it's one of those words where I'll use it in a sentence, but then I forget the meaning until I hear it again, but I used it correctly. Sonder. To sonder means to have the revelation that other people are living their lives and have complex lives just like you, but you don't think about it often. But it's the revelation that everyone has a complex life of their own, and they're're living out and you don't ever really acknowledge it. Ah, I see. I know. I was like, ooh, I've been sondering a lot lately. I'm trying to be like a good global citizen and trying to, you know,

when people are being totally awful, I'm like, maybe they're just having a rough day. You know, maybe they're just having like a rough one. Maybe the reason why this person's yelling at this person at the fast food place is like they having a rough day. You know, maybe they're just having like a rough one. Maybe the reason why this person's yelling at this person at the fast food place is like they had a rough day. And they're not just pieces of crap. Right? I'm trying to be good about it and not just immediately be like

this dude's an asshole. I'm trying to be good. I'm failing, but I'm trying. And that's the key. Yeah, trying's half the battle. This week, I had my run-in with a test of patience. I was at the grocery store, saw one of all of our favorite people, the you-can't-tell-me-not-to-wear-a-mask person.

It was everything I thought it would be. I realized how much I've been missing it in my life, because everyone's been pretty chill here. Yeah, this guy was, like, going through a thing. I don't know what was going on. And he was screaming at the checkout lady, but not in his same aisle. How do I describe this? You know how when you go to the grocery store, there's a special check yourself out lane?

Oh, yeah. Right? Well, he was trying to do that. Oh, yeah. Right? Well, he was trying to do that. And someone in the area with him was like, Sir, I do not feel comfortable you being next to me without your mask on.

The guy was like, well, no one's told me to wear a mask since I got in here. And this lady was like, Sir, I told you three times to wear a mask. And he's like, well, I didn't hear you. And she's like, you looked right at me, sir, and walked away. And he's like, well, I got my food, food so i'm checking out so it doesn't matter anyway and they were just like uh sir you really shouldn't do this and he's like what are you gonna do get the manager is the manager gonna tell me that i can't i can't buy the food here and they were like yes sir that's that's exactly what you're gonna be told please just put on a mask and everything will be fine and he's like like, what am I, a sheep? Like the rest of you sheep?

And everyone in the store is just like, oh, this guy. Like no one wants to talk to him or look at him. Everyone's kind of like put off by the fact that he even exists. I'm like, all right, maybe he's just going through some stuff. Maybe he just had a day. And then, of course, then he was like, you know, this is all a conspiracy, right? It's all fake. It's the Chinese trying to win the election for Biden.

And I'm just like, oh, no. Oh, no. And so he starts screaming and hollering. And finally, the manager shows up and is like, sir, I'm going to have to ask you to just leave. Don't take anything with you. We don't want your money. You can't have our stuff. Just go And he's like, well I need this Mind you, what was in his basket of food

Was a loaf of bread and three bottles of whiskey Just putting it out there The essentials Yeah, he's like, I need this And they were like, sir, it doesn't matter You need to have someone to ID you And no one here Is going to get close to you to ID you

And we cannot sell you This alcohol unless someone IDs you And no one wants to do that so you cannot buy it And he's like look at me I'm old enough You can visually assess that I'm old enough Can you not And they're like it doesn't matter sir we have to look at your ID

Those are the rules And he's like, rules? This whole country has been smothered in rules. Meanwhile, all I'm waiting for is the old lady

who's the cashier in my lane. There's no one to help her bag stuff. So this old lady is like trying to bag stuff. Meanwhile, every other employee is fighting with this dude.

I'm like, if this guy would just wear a damn mask, someone could come bag things. This poor old lady was trying to bag the person in front of me. And I'm sitting there just like, oh, my God, I swear. I'm trying to be positive. Like, you know what? This guy may be not, you know what? Maybe not a bad person. Maybe just, you know, this is the one weird thing about him.

And then he keeps going on. And he's like, well, let me tell you something. This country was just doing fine until all the Mexicans came. And I was like, oh, no. And he's like, everyone working here. Look, Mexican, Mexican, Mexican. Where are all the white people at? You took their jobs is what you did. And I was like,

oh, no. You think he's already a bottle of whiskey in? I think so. I think he got the bread so he could keep down the other three bottles. But I'd be like, this guy was on a rant.

And I was like, okay, well, cool. And so I managed, just to give you an example of how long this rant was going on. And I couldn't believe the police didn't show up. There was a security guard. And the security guard was like, sir, come with me. He didn't have a gun, though. Like, what is the security guard going to do? So I like how that's the extent of it.

Like, he couldn't shoot this guy in the damn head. So what was scared are gonna do so uh i like how that's the extent of it like he couldn't shoot this guy in the damn head so what was he gonna do um the guy kept arguing he refused to get out of line he was holding up everything random people are like go home weirdo and he's like the only thing weird here is how you all are willing to accept government mandated masks and he's going off and i'm like oh my god but just to give you an example he was still arguing with people when I when my old lady had checked me out and I was leaving I it must have been 10 minutes maybe uh of course there are people videotaping it so I wouldn't be surprised if it shows up on the internet with me in the background like, this guy's weird. So I'm very excited that maybe one day I'll edit one of those videos.

But yeah, it was exactly the kind of dude you expect. He was wearing jean shorts and a polo shirt, and I think was maybe four two right like that short guy who's definitely trying to make up you know short but like super buff and that short guy is definitely trying to make up for everything the napoleon complex yes it's like be you but don't be an asshole right he just would not stop and he was like you don't get it and he wasn't like old or like weird looking he looked like just like a normal dude but he was an asshole i was like i'm gonna try and be nice and maybe he's just having a rough day but two minutes into him going off and

he's like mexicans was like oh boy here we go yeah I searched the grocery store mask LA and I don't think I'll be able to find it. There's too many. Yeah, that happens. I don't know what happened. I remember a few weeks ago we were talking about this and I mentioned that my part of the city is pretty chill. Everyone's wearing masks. Everything's cool. However, that has clearly changed.

I don't know what happened in the last week or two, but everywhere I go now, there's always someone actively trying to push buttons by not wearing a mask. Not like not wearing a mask and being like, oops, I forgot. Like actively not wearing a mask in order to push the limit.

Like a child trying to see where their parents draw the line. It's crazy. I'll be in line at a restaurant going to pick up my order, and a guy will just walk in, no mask, and be like, is this cool? You got a problem with this? And I'm just like, what the hell?

Everyone's looking at him like, what are you doing, weirdo? It's so bonkers. I don't know what's going on, but I feel like crazy people starting to get crazy, and I don't know what's going on, but I feel like crazy people starting to get crazy, and I don't know what's gonna happen, and I'm a little worried. This town is filled with crazies, and usually they're kept

like, you know, under the, you know, they're boiling in the pot, but they never boil over. Now I feel like the lid's off, and crazies are coming out, and I'm really worried. But you know. The crazy people are always there, right? There's just now it's just something for them to get crazy about. Like before they'd still be there.

They'd be like, I want to return my item and you're not taking it. Why aren't you taking it? Like screaming. Now they just, you know, it's just another thing. I can't understand why you would purposefully try to cause public tension and drama like i don't get it and it makes me think like they're they're stuck inside all day and this is the only interaction they're gonna have i don't even think that's i just think they're crazy well you're right i try to think that like even crazy can be explained right like even but maybe you're right. Maybe this is one of those Joker situations,

and some people just want to watch the world burn, and that's fine. I guarantee you this guy is just drinking his bottles of whiskey every day, and he's like, I'm going where I'm going. He's going wherever he wants. He's like, I ain't staying inside. He's going out. He's just yelling. I think he's just crazy.

I think you're right I was watching A um video By the way our Public freakouts on reddit Is just Great But uh I was watching a video on there of a woman On a plane who wasn't wearing a mask

And everyone's like get off the plane And she's like why what's the matter with you You're all so dumb. You're all going to die anyway. We all die anyway. We're all just going to die anyway. So why are you afraid? Why are you afraid?

And everyone's just like, yeah, but we don't want to die today, ma'am. Why even wear a seatbelt? Yeah, exactly. We're all going to die anyway. Everyone's just like, what are you talking about? We're at a point where the people that wear masks are going to wear masks, and the people that don't wear them are not going to wear them, unless they're like, you know, you have to go into the store and you get yelled at.

That's where we're at. It's like anything, like with elections. You think debates and stuff are going to change anything? No. The people who are voting one way are going to vote one way. People voting the other way are going to vote the other way. It's the same with the mask. Like, if you, like, oh, what if we put up another sign to tell him to put on a mask?

You think he's going to be like, oh, now I'll put on a mask. He's going to be like, fuck you, sign. You're not going to tell me what to do. I will say I agree with you on the election thing. I've been convinced for years and years and years and years that 90% of people who say they don't know who they're going to vote for do. They just are embarrassed to share it.

Oh, yeah, definitely. Convinced of that completely. When it's like two days before the election and they're like, we are interviewing people who don't know who they're voting for. I'm like, BS. Of course they know who they're voting for. They just don't want to admit it. I heard about his plan for global democracy and what's it called? What's it called?

Diplomacy. I heard it's called global diplomacy status, and now I've changed my mind. Like, they don't – Yeah, no one is like that. No one – There's – Either you're going to vote or you're not going to vote. And I have a feeling most people who are like, I don't know what I want to do either don't intend to vote at all and are too embarrassed to say or they want to vote for someone and they're

afraid they're gonna be judged for their vote yeah there might be 10% of those people who truly are like I don't know and that's fine but I'm convinced most people are not and I'm also convinced that that you're totally right that unless we have a mandate that someone says, you have to wear a mask, the government will fine you if you don't. Then people will not. And look, I'm going to say it now, and I mean it. I have seen the rest of the world when they actually do government mandates and their rates go down, and I'm just saying, I'd be fine with it. Don't affect me at all.

And I kind of would like to see people lose their minds. So I'm just putting it out there. If the government wants to mandate mask use, I'd be fine watching people go crazy and then get arrested for it. Just put it out there. R slash public freak out. That's where the videos will be. I don't mind how it is here.

It's like you have to wear a mask when you go inside places I don't think you should be forced to wear a mask If you're outside Sure I think it no matter what It should be inside right I think like just out of common courtesy It should be inside if you're outside And you're like there's a lot of times

If you're drinking a drink or you're at a restaurant Eating dinner having a mask on is insane How could you do that right And that's where social distancing comes in And I just think You're at a restaurant eating dinner. Having a mask on is insane. How could you do that, right? And that's where social distancing comes in. And I just think there's ways to do it where you can be an adult about the situation and not just like, I have this thing I printed from the internet that says that I have a reason not to wear a mask. It's like, no, you don't.

Stop lying. Stop lying to people. Stop this. This whole whole like I have a disability That says I can't wear a mask like yes, and what is that according to this thing? I don't ever tell you that's cuz you're lying stop it stop it grow up. Oh, it's so infuriating Yeah, I mean I work out for like 40 minutes in a mask. I'm not falling over. Yeah, I don't know I mean you're right This is a topic where either you support it or you don't, and nothing we say

here is going to change anyone's mind ever. So, I don't know. The year's almost over. Maybe we get a fresh start next year. Oh my god, it's only a week till Halloween. I know. Less than a week. Wait, it's on a Sunday. Oh wait, no, it's on Saturday.

Is it Saturday? Friday's the 29th, right? No, it's on Saturday. Is it Saturday? Friday is the 29th, right? No, Thursday is the 29th. Thursday is the 29th. Saturday is the 31st. Yeah, it's on Saturday. Look at that. Well, that would be great if we weren't all at home.

When's the... Actually, what day is Thanksgiving on? Is it the 25th or 27th? It's one of those days 26 I think it's always 26 I'm always wrong mm-hmm it's the Thursday whatever the Thursday is yeah the Thursday oh so I guess it does change sure yeah it's the is it the last Thursday in December I think yeah I think you're right. That would make sense. Mamma mia. Why were you curious about Thanksgiving?

I was just realizing it's like a holiday. So I was like, oh, it's Halloween. I'm like, oh, yeah, Thanksgiving. You realized that holidays exist? You had that revelation? You were like, oh, holidays. Yeah. Wow.

It's like you go through the These months Leading up to the holidays And you're like Oh yeah Now you hit the holiday months I was gonna say Somebody asked

On stream To talk about Our Halloween traditions Or like What we did as a kid Yeah my My mom would Make costumes

She would One time I went as a As a Like a dinosaur One time I went as a dinosaur. One time I went as a rooster. I did all sorts of things when I was a kid. And then as I grew up, I went as more and more adult thingies. But eventually, I don't know.

I don't know what year it was. It was at some point I stopped trick-or-treating in general. know what year it was it was at some point i stopped trick-or-treating in general and my friend mike he had one of those flat rooftops that you could sit on and because it was ohio you know it's ohio we would uh sit up on the roof with bags of candy and when kids would come by we would throw the candy and try to hit their bags because we had he would go out and he'd buy giant size candy bars and so we try to chuck the candy bars into the bags we play games with the kids but we were i don't know 10th grade at that time so i never you know i never i don't remember much of my

actual trick-or-treating because most of it would be you know walk around in the dark barely seeing through a mask going to one year i went to the rich people neighborhood and that was great because i got a bunch of candy oh yeah that was great that was a great year uh but after at a certain point i was like nah i'm good and i wouldn't go out and and i just go over to a friend's house and we'd have like a spooky movie night or something and once you hit high school at that point or then people start like if they do dress up they're like we're going to a party yeah like that i never went to any like sexy halloween parties i never i've never done that i've never seen a sexy accountant or anything i've never done that in my life uh most of the time on halloween i would just get together with friends

and we'd watch like scary ass movies and eat popcorn and like that's it i never yeah i never would do anything too wild on halloween halloween never was a um like let's go get crazy like it was never an excuse for that i was like i can get crazy any night of the year I don't need to dress up to get it Whatever Yeah what was your childhood like What did you do My parents would always just take me trick or treating And then I'd be like a pumpkin

Or I'd be like Raiden from Mortal Kombat Oh my god Is there a photo of that does that exist somewhere I don't know i'll have to look you need to we need to for halloween we need to make a valiant effort to find old costume photos and post them online for halloween holy that's a good point uh i think i was spider-man i think i was uh what else was i trying to think uh there's definitely some costumes in there were like

they're like half-assed costumes and some that were just like i bought at the store and now i'm this character i think i was wolverine amazing uh i don't know and i would just you know you do trick or treating and then Eat your candy and then I'd go by My friend's house and then They had like a block full of kids so It always like they're like we gotta go to that House and all the kids like trick or treat together

And you'd get to all the parents and then they had Kids they're like hey it's You guys and where's Justin at and they're like I don't know Justin's we lost him And they're like, I don't know. Justin's, we lost him. And they're like, ah, alright. A lot of kids vanished that night. It was weird.

Yeah. And then you just go eat your candy and have a great time. So really, I just had a pretty generic Halloween. We never did anything crazy. And then I got older and was like, eh, whatever. And then I would just, you know, I don't think I really did anything. Ever since I moved out of the house, I've always lived in apartments. So I've never had trick-or-treaters ever come to my door

because in apartment complexes, I don't think that's a big thing, but I could be wrong, but I've never had that. Maybe you have to like know your neighbors, but I i don't i've never had that in any apartment i've lived in so i've never even had trick-or-treaters come to the door i've never even had that moment of being like hello kids welcome i haven't dressed up haven't done none of it uh i feel like i'd be very good at it though i watched some guy today post a video of how he was setting up his Halloween stuff for his house, right? And this guy posted a tutorial of how he could make it look like his house was on fire from the inside. And it was incredible looking. It was so cool the way he used the lights to make it look like the house was on fire.

However, when he showed the street view, it really looked like the house was on fire. And if I saw that, I would call the cops. I'd be like, There's a house on fire It was amazing looking But it really looked like the house was on fire I was like why would you want people to think that That is I mean it was probably cool for him until

You know Maybe somebody actually thought that But he was probably still for him until, you know, maybe somebody actually thought that. But he was probably still like, yeah, I did a good job. It was amazing. It was very impressive. Hopefully he'll only do it for Halloween Eve. But the video he made was great. It was so cool.

I couldn't believe it. I remember there was one house we'd go to. It was like they'd always have a porch And they'd sit up their porch all crazy And then the dad would just hide there and be like And like try to scare everyone There was a I'll never forget one of the houses I went to When I was a kid

The guy would do something crazy every year And one year they had Their garage Was a haunted house And that was pretty great One year They When you went to go get candy from the person at the door

He would Come up behind the person like slowly down the stairs With a chainsaw And she'd be like what's the matter What are you guys seeing And we'd be like what's up behind you And she'd be like what do you mean And then she'd go oh no and close the door And then you hear like and we'd be like ah and run away but one year the

best one I'll never forget is this guy put a bucket of candy on his doorstep and a note that said please just take one and on the on the porch were all these um like monster statues and of course he was hiding as one of the monster statues. And if he saw you take more than one, he'd jump out at you and scream at you. It was great. It was great. There was no one there in a big bucket of candy

that said take one. Kids were like trying to steal the whole bucket. And he was like, God, like run after them. It was great. Great. That's man.

Oh man. Did you hate, what was like your least favorite candy Or your most favorite candy Or like when people gave you pennies Oh I got apples one time Anything that is kind of like the The candy corn garbage Oh yeah

Man I'm not a big peanut butter candy person Love peanut butter candy I would trade with you I'd be like yo dog give me your Kit Kats I'll trade with you Oh yeah For some reason Kit Kats were like the thing for me

They were the perfect snack What's that like 100 grand bars Or whatever those things are called? Crackles. I love crackles. The rice candy thing is good too. Whatever that's called. An article. Worst Halloween candy rank. Oh boy.

Here we go. Yes. Hit me. From thecandystore.com They show one of their people eating it on the Today Show while they're drinking wine. Well, because they are idiots anyway. All right. So, yeah, you're actually I say that, but I've had like a wine pairing thing where they're like, try a chocolate with it.

No, chocolate. That's different. Yeah. Not like candy. Then you're just. Yeah. So they got the worst Halloween candy. Number 10 is black licorice.

You know what? It's an acquired taste. I'll give it that. But yes, it's... I actually like black licorice. I think it's pretty good. But I'm not going to eat like a bunch. Yeah, I don't want it for Halloween.

And the Halloween candies, it definitely ranks lowest for sure. In fact, I heard a story of some guy just ate like 50 bags of black licorice and died. Apparently it's got something in it. Yeah, what is in black licorice and died. Apparently, it's got something in it. Uh, yeah. What is in black licorice? What is the... There's definitely a thing in it. Yeah.

What is poison? There it is. Man dies after eating black licorice every day. Bags of it. It contains a compound that's toxic. 54-year-old man was in a fast food restaurant when he gas started shaking, died. Oh, wow. Experiencing ventricular fibrillation.

Yeah, so basically black licorice contains the compound glycerin. Glycerin. Glycerin. Sure. Glycerin. Glycerin. Glycerin. Glycerin. Sure. Glycerin. Glycerin. Which is derived from licorice root. Can cause potassium levels in the body to fall and lead to abnormal heart rhythms, high blood pressure, edema, lethargy, and congestive heart failure, according to the agency's warning.

And that was September 26, 2020, after a man died eating a bag of licorice every day. Damn. Well. Wow. So yeah, don't eat that black licorice. Well, don't eat a lot of it. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess don't eat a bag of black licorice every day

is probably... Same thing like don't, you know... Here's the best part. Man, he did. He ate black licorice every day and then died at McDonald's. I feel like he was not leading good lifestyle choices. Here's the best part. Man, he did. He ate black licorice every day and then died at McDonald's. I feel like he was not leading good lifestyle choices. Yeah, that's probably not the greatest.

Number nine is good and plenties. Yeah, good and plenty suck. Agreed. Yeah. It says they're pretty much licorice, and I'm pretty sure they are pretty much licorice. Yeah, they're licorice with a hard outside, which is like cool. Yeah, that's weird. Good and plenty. More like

sucks and fewer please. Not a lot. Yeah. Number eight, Mary Jane's. What is Mary Jane? Seems like an old person candy. I feel like I've seen these. Oh, it's an old person candy.

I've definitely seen these. Mary Jane's are a shoe. Mary Jane's candy. No, those are Doc Martens. Mary Jane's shoes? No. Mary Jane's candy? What is a Mary? Small Paffies. Oh, yeah. You know what? These are Bitter Honeys.

Oh. Mary Jane's are just Bitter Honeys is what they are Yeah they are Well bit of honeys suck too Number seven Tootsie Rolls You know what I'm a strong fan of Tootsie Rolls I can't agree with that

I love a good Tootsie Roll I actually used to hate Tootsie Rolls Right Tootsie Rolls are good You can hate them all you want when you're a kid But Tootsie Rolls. Right? Tootsie Rolls are good. You can hate them all you want when you're a kid, but Tootsie Rolls will get you in the end. Oh, yeah. They'll get you. Number six, Necco Wafers.

Necco Wafers are garbage candy. Yeah, they look bad. Necco Wafers. I don't even think I've had a Necco Wafer. You definitely have, and you forgot because it's so bland and boring. Let me just say, the Necco Wafer people are the same people who make Bitter Honey and Mary Janes, I think. How do they keep going? I imagine because it's an old-time candy thing created by the Charles Miller Company.

What else did the Charles Miller Company create? Charles Miller Company candy. We're the Charles Miller Company create? Charles Miller Company candy. We're going to find out right now. Charles Miller Company candy. The revolutionary story behind... Nope, nobody cares about the revolutionary... What candy did he create? Mary Jane's.

Sky Bars. Sky Bars. That's the same thing. Sky bars? Necco wafers are created by the Necco company. Necco, what if I just type in Necco candy. Wait, this says Mary Jane is peanut butter and molasses. Sure.

And I feel like that's kind of like, I i mean it looks like a bit of honey it doesn't mean it is like the same texture yeah um i guess maybe chocolate non perels are like the candy cigarettes like all those things that you know your grandmother probably loved but are just trash you know trash candy oh yeah it was probably like during the war, we only have so much to go on. That's definitely what it is. Number five is Smarties, but I like Smarties.

Are these the Smarties that there's different kinds? There's American Smarties and there's European Smarties. I like actually, I like both Smarties. I've... Actually, I like both Smarties. I've had both of them. Right?

Interesting. Yeah, the American ones are like the little pills that are like chalk. But I like those. And then there's like the British ones more like the... They're more like... What's that candy? M&M's kind of? A little bit.

Like high chews, right? Like small high chews choose I've got chocolate in them right British Smarties or do they oh wait I think they the British ones do they're Nestle Smarties have I think I don't know what is in a Smartie I thought they were chocolate yeah I thought they were like M&M's. Not the American ones. The American ones are not that at all.

Not even close. But I like the American ones. I guess there's Canadian, American, and British Smarties. Canadian Smarties. Interesting. Too much for me. I guess Canada's ones got chocolate. Here in the US we call them Smarties. Interesting. Too much for me. I guess.

I guess. Canada's one's got chocolate. Here in the U.S. we call them Smarties. And elsewhere they're called Fizzers and Rockets. Fizzers makes more sense because it does, like, Smarties have that, like, you know, like there's, like, a thing to them. Yeah. Yeah, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's number five. All uh wax coke bottles you know what gross gross yeah that's you have to bite the top off and like those sucked that's how old i am i

remember getting them for halloween and being like what the hell is this my mom would be like you bite the top off you drink the stuff inside I'm like that's gross Yeah I remember trying one and I was like bleh Didn't like them Number three is circus peanuts I'm gonna say it I like circus peanuts I'm just gonna say it I don't even remember eating a circus peanut

I think it's cause my dad likes circus peanuts And so I've acquired that taste I like circus peanuts I can't even lie I love them Are they just chewy? And so I've acquired that taste. I like circus peanuts. I can't even lie. I love them. Are they just chewy? Kind of. They're not chewy.

I don't want to say it's like biting into foam or styrofoam. But it has that texture where it is soft. Like marshmallow? Kind of. Like hard marshmallow. And then you bite into it. And then, cause I think it's like 99% sugar. It like dissolves in your mouth, but yeah, it's like a marshmallow that you would have left out overnight. Maybe I kind of want to try it.

It's not, it's not, it's a very simple treat. It's not a bunch to it, but yeah, it's definitely an acquired taste because I don't think it even has like a meat tastes like banana it has like a taste that isn't normal like it doesn't have a normal taste it doesn't taste like you know I circus peanut I'm gonna try a circus peanut I'm gonna report ready for it and maybe

if I can find like the other shitty ones I'll try and find those too Peanut butter kisses what Hershey's kisses that are peanut butter It says they're peanut butter flavored candies despite the name. They are neither Reese's nor Hershey's Huh they're literally just They look like they're wrapped up candy? What? Peanut butter kisses.

Hey, I can't even find... Candy. Peanut butter kisses... Oh, there they are. ...are also... Every time I look those up, by the way, I just want to put this out there. They're made by the Mary Jane Necco Company. Necco Peanut Butter Kisses.

Yep, the same company. They are continuing the tradition of trash candy. How do they do it? It's gotta be the old people. You know what? I can't deny that. They're still alive. Turns out, they're still kicking.

Bless the old people. They got that old-timey Betty Boop doll girl as the mascot. Yes, they totally do. Like, oh, you sure like the 1940s, don't you? Like, wow, I do. And number one is candy corn. Oh, that's the worst.

The worst candy. Yeah. Period. I always hated candy corn. And every time I'd try it, I'd be like, bleh. No redeemable value. Anyone who loves candy corn, those are the same people who love, like, eating month-old fish out of a tin. I love the texture.

Right? Those are the people who are like, I like that it smells like hell because it really invigorates the texture. Right? Those are the people who are like, I like that it smells like hell because it really invigorates the senses. Now to eat some candy corn with it. And I guarantee they call it candied corn, not candy corn. The candied corn, you know that's what they do

because they're crazy. In fact, videos of candy corn, someone made turkey dinner candy corn. Nope. No way. This person made candy corn cobs, and that's the worst. It's apparently made of sugar corn syrup, carnauba wax, carnauba wax, artificial coloring, and binders.

Yeah, no. Binders are probably pig feet. It stands off. No thank you. Yeah, that's no thank you from me. Here's an article from Eater.com. Why is candy corn the worst? What this is?

All right. Eater.com. This is collusion. Eater.com, the article says, why is candy corn the least liked, most hated candy for Halloween? Then you click the article and it literally says, actually, candy corn the least liked Most hated candy for Halloween Then you click the article and it literally says Actually candy corn is great This person who is this Kate Wilski In the pocket of big candy corn

Classic dude She's in the pocket She's like it's really good No it's not it's candy, and you're wrong. And then, oh, I guess that's all the worst candies. What are the best? Oh, here. The best candies.

Let's go through. Hold on really quickly. Yeah, you're hurting me. Listen to this delusional. Listen. Okay. Who is this delusional person again? What is her name?

Kate Wilski. Listen to this delusional writing.? What is her name? Kate Wilski. Listen to this delusional writing. This is the writing of a crazy person. Kate is no better than that dude screaming at the grocery store. All right, here we go. The notion that candy corn tastes bad is a lie. It's just not true. Though the preliminary ingredient is sugar, candy corn's flavor transcends cloying sweetness,

becoming something richer and more nuanced. There's a nuttiness reminiscent of marzipan, hints of warm vanilla, a buttery flavor belied by the fact that candy corn is, as bags proudly proclaim, a fat-free candy. Then there's the texture, something a lot of people cite as their grievance with candy corn. During candy corn production, the sugar crystallizes, giving the kernels a sort of texture. That means they're not too chewy and just a bit crumbly, while holding their shape enough to give it a good tooth sink.

This short texture resembles earwax, or a candle as many often compare only in so far as it is made with a way to keep it together and the sheer cheerfulness of its sheen but regardless critics should be aware the logical extensions of dismiss dismissing a food because its texture resembles something else do we hate mochi because it's the texture of a rubber ball? Do we revile yogurt because it's the texture of body lotion? Do we recoil at flourless chocolate cake because it shares texture with human waste?

What are the... When are you eating human waste, lady? How do you know these things? How do you know that human waste has the exact same texture as flourless chocolate cake? How do you know that mo? How do you know that human waste has the exact same texture as flourless chocolate cake? How do you know that mochi tastes like a rubber ball? These are crazy things. These are crazy things spoken by crazy people.

She's like, oh, it's fat-free, but, like, it's sugar. Yeah. You're just eating sugar. It's still going to make you gain weight. What an idiot. Look, if I'm going to eat something that's going to slowly make me fat, I want it to be good. Well, here's the top

ten good ones. Number ten, Hershey bar. I don't know that I... Number ten, alright. Okay. Number nine, you got nerds. Strong disagree, but okay. I like nerds.

I don't think I like them anymore. Nerds are too damn sugary. Nerds are hurt your teeth sugary. Yeah, that's probably why my teeth are bad. Number eight, Butterfinger. All right, yeah, I like Butterfinger. Yeah. Number seven, Kit Kat.

I love a good Kit Kat. Yeah. Number six is Twix. Yep, love a Twix. Number five, you got. I love a good Kit Kat. Yeah. Number six is Twix. Yep, love a Twix. Number five, you got the Sour Patch. By the way, just so everyone's aware, this is definitely American, because I know based on number ten, there's going to be a lot of comments like, Hershey's is trash to you. Look, we all are aware that American candy is subpar compared to the rest of the world.

We understand. Let us have this. Yeah, come on. Number four skittles skittles are all right m&ms better be three yeah i feel like i'd rather have sour patch agreed 100 so i'd yeah i'd put them at skittles at the five sour patch the four number three you got Snickers It satisfies what can you say Yeah I like Snickers Number two You got your M&M's

If number one is You know Those cups of peanut butter trash Get them out of here It is Damn it those are garbage I do not like them Reese's

I love them They're great I'd rather have Reese's pieces Than Reese's peanut butter cups Those are trash No no no Trash

I disagree Hard disagree Trash Nope It's not even real peanut butter Trash Nah dude That's

Not trash nah dude that's not trash those are your top 10 top 10 worst and best candies speaking of not trash how about you don't smell like trash can we talk about that how about you jump on the

Hawthorne train Hawthorne is a premium tailored personal care brand that is making it easy for you guys out there to feel and smell your best right because that's the key right now that's all we got left it's just how we can take care of ourselves and that's what you should be focusing on is your daily self-care routine, because it's a habit that you should get into. When you go to Hawthorne, you go on the website, bing, bang, boom. That's how you log into the internet. Bing, bang, boom. And right, the first thing you're going to see is there's a quiz. This quiz is

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Dot C-O promo code COX. Hawthorne.co. Promo code COX. Get 10% off your first purchase and start smelling better. You will thank us when everyone's like, Ooh, what's that smell? It's you? You deserve smooches. Also today, we're coming to you from the future. The future of the bathroom, that is.

Because we're talking about bidets. I know, for us Americans, it's like, wait, what? But for the rest of the world, they on this train already. And it's about time we get on it too. That's why we want to talk to you about Hello Tushy. Krendor, you have one of these, right? Yes, they sent me one. So you've actually had time with it and I'm going to ask you about it because I have not tried a bidet yet, ever, period, never happened. And I would love to know what your thoughts are and if you could do it in a way that will not make me giggle because I'm immature.

It's great. As somebody with many digestive issues, it's just, you know, sometimes you just sit there and you're like, hey, you know what? It's pretty nice. It's like a water massage. So, I mean, it gets you clean. But on top of that, it's almost like a therapeutic experience. It's like whenever you hear people go to Japan, they're like, dude, they got bidets all over. And they're like, this is fantastic. Now it's coming here.

Well, Hello Tushy is that company trying to change things here in the States. They're trying to make cost-affordable bidets, not those ridiculous expensive ones, but one that everyone can have. Because, you know, when you actually think about it, we're still using paper to wipe our butts. And it's kind of crazy, but we still do it. And Hello Tushy out there trying to change the game for just $79. It attaches to your existing toilet. It requires no electricity or additional plumbing. It cuts toilet paper use by 80%.

Hello Tushy pays for itself after a few months. Yeah, pretty much. And it is pretty easy to set up. You just, like, screw the thing in and then set it up, and you're good to go. It took, like, maybe 10, 15 minutes. Yeah, I mean, it's smarter than buying those wipes, right, that are terrible for the environment.

It does the same thing. Like, a damp wipe is doing the same thing. And I think most people understand that if you're just using toilet paper, it's still not getting everything back there. And a bidet is a smart way to do it. Yeah, just go with the butt blast. It'll never not be funny,

but it will save you money. So ditch the toilet paper products and uncomfortable chafing and cleanse your butt with the water from a Hello Tushy bidet. And every Hello Tushy bidet attachment comes with a 60 day risk-free guarantee and 12 month warranty. Join the millions of happy Hello Tushy customers right now and have a clean butt with every flush. Go to HelloTushy.com, Tushy, spelled T-U-S-H-Y, in case you didn't know,

hellotushy.com slash cox to get 10% off. That's hellotushy.com slash cox for you listening right now to get 10% off hellotushy.com slash cox. All right, Crandor, let's go to chapter 77. Why, craptor?

We're the craptor up here? Welcome to the chapter craptor. Boy, I butchered that. We are. Boy, I butchered that. We got the bidet, and we are spraying down everyone up here. We are using our bidet to spray. Man, it is crazy.

If you look down there, you're gonna see... I don't know. Actually, I don't really see anything because we're spraying the bidet too much. Everything's just covered in water. And some places it's freezing. It's getting cold. Some places it's just, you know,

they need the water. So, really we're doing a good service up here back thanks crendor now let's go to crendor the weather desk outside weather weather time weather time uh let's see here i'm gonna check somebody's thing from the last episode, see if they recommended. We've got a... Any weather. There's somebody who is like,

oh yeah, last week we did Umea or whatever, and someone's like, dude, I live in Umea. And then someone else is like, I live in Umea. I saw that. I saw, we had an ume connection yeah uh let's see i don't even see anybody there's nobody's recommended their play oh wait you should do weather of lake havasu city home of the london bridge oh is this one of those things it's like they bought the london bridge way back when is this one of those things It's like they bought the London Bridge way back when Is this that story

Uh There's wait I found Lake Havasu City Arizona Isn't the legend that they sold The London Bridge to them I don't know if it's true But I know that's what people are told I don't know

Is known for London Bridge Wait I guess I think that's what the legend is supposed to be I don't know if that's accurate Because I feel like there's still a London Bridge But maybe they mean like the old London Bridge

But I don't even know if that's true I just know that somewhere they claim to have the London Bridge London Bridge Relocated from England links the mainland to marinas and a loop path in the area known as the island. So I guess it was from England.

I mean, the weather there, it's 83 and hot. 49 degrees right now. You got wind gusts over 50 miles an hour. Oh, my gosh. It's windy. London Bridge falling down, falling down, falling down.

London Bridge is falling down. My fair lady. My fair lady. Monday, yeah, you're 60 degrees, sunny wind, 34 miles an hour. Still windy. And then it gets warm. You got 71 sunny, 74 sunny, 79 sunny, 82 mostly sunny. You got 83, 85, 85, 86,

85, 84, 82, 80. You just got a couple of cold, windy days and then that's the London creeping in. London. Since you buy the bridge, you get the weather with it every once in a while. That's the weather.

Alright, Grendor. We looking at sports. a lot of sports today a lot of sports uh world series getting played tonight that's tied to a piece that dodgers lose again oh yeah that was uh that was something dodgers lose again they'll be like the bills of the baseball thing where they lost three Super Bowls in a row or whatever. Let's not do that. We'll keep losing World Series. Let's not do that. And we've got football

happening. Big football day. Steelers winning 27-24 over the Titans. Big game for them. Un-defeating. Just the last second field goal. The Titans actually came back. They were down like 21-3 or something. They came back, almost tied it.

But thankfully, it only took a global pandemic for luck to go the Steelers' way. We're in it, baby! The Eagles beat the Giants Thursday night in a wacky ass game uh the saints barely beat the panthers the bills barely beat the jets they kicked like six field goals i think uh in fact yeah wow they kicked six of eight field goals uh the browns beat the bengals on a last-second play. The Washington football team demolished the Cowboys 25-3. Packers beat the Texans in their vengeance game to start winning again. Lions beat the Falcons last-second on a last-second play because the Falcons' running back could have ended the game,

and instead he accidentally scored a touchdown, gave the Lions time. They came back and scored. Buccaneers beat the Raiders 45-20. Woo! Buccaneers on fire with Tom Brady. I hate it. Chiefs beat the Broncos 43-16. It was snowing in that game in Denver.

What if Minshew had a win? That would be great. Well, he's got one, but it wasn't fair. They lost 39-29 to the Chargers. And Mike Williams only had one catch four yards. I starred in fantasy pizza. Shit, 39 points. You get one catch.

And then the 49ers destroyed the Patriots in New England. And oddly enough, they didn't even pass a touchdown. Garoppolo, 277 and two picks. But they had Jeffrey Wilson run for three touchdowns and 112 yards. And I believe he sprained his ankle. Well, that's what you get for running and doing that. Yeah, and Cam Newton, 98 yards, three interceptions. Not very good as New England continues to fall apart

in the post-Tom Brady era. Excellent. So don't look now, but the Bills and the Dolphins are the leaders of the division. Yay! Crazy. Thank God, finally. And that's sports.

All right, Crandall, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Well, there was this article I was going to read, and there's another one, so I'm just going to mix these together. What? Okay. This one, well, not even really news. It's just kind of like, this one's just facts. I was like, what about...

This is not news. It's just facts. Okay. Yeah? Yeah. The modern day rituals of donning masks, wearing costumes, and bobbing for apples can be traced back centuries to pre-Christian era Celtic Celtic celebrations, says Fred Soup,

a history professor at Ball State University. Also, look at this guy's mustache. I bet it's great. Is it a handlebar? Look at it. His mustache has a smile. It does. He points out that a majority of Halloween traditions

originated with the ancient Celts and their priests, the Druids. Other civilizations adopted modified Celtic rituals such as bobbing for apples or donning disguises. I believe we've already done a Cox and Crandor where we talked about all these different rituals and things they would do. Yeah, but I forgot about it, which means other people have to... There's a great video that exists boy we have an animated video but please let us know tell me more we have an animated video on halloween didn't we about uh throwing cabbages right oh is that was that i don't remember i don't remember that's what i'm saying i don't remember you don't i don't remember. I don't remember. That's what I'm saying. I don't remember. You don't remember.

I don't remember. You just think you remember. The Celts can be traced back to 800 B.C. to what is now southern Germany and include the ancestors of the Scottish, Irish, Manx, Welsh, Cornish, and Bretons. He's an expert in Celtic folklore, says Sup. Particular motifs of modern-day Halloween, such as the date and time it is celebrated, children trick-or-treating, jack-o'-lantern, bobbing for appers, are...

Appers? Appers? Gotta get those appers. Appers are related to Celtic traditions. Can't wait to get my choppers on some appers. When Christianity was introduced to the Celts, church leaders tried to persuade them to abandon their pagan celebrations and adopt the Christian calendar. Because the traditions were culturally ingrained, the church provided alternative holy days such as All Saints Day on November 1st.

The evening before All Saints Day became Hallows Day. Then Hallows Eve, with the word hollow meaning holy or saint, and eve meaning the night before. Another origin for trick-or-treating comes from scotland where young men in their late teens don disguises after their harvest the cults called them geysers which is where we get the word geyser the geysers would march around a house and demand hospitality which evolved into small children asking for treats i like how it went from threatening to cute. Like, we demand hospitality! And then it became like, we want week!

It's like, god, they're outside the house in crazy disguises. Then, of course, because we're in October now, right? Well, we're almost done with October, which means it's almost McRib season.

Oh, it's back. It's back, almost. McDonald's stirs outrage with fans after McRib tweet tease. Wait. The McDonald's Twitter account made a playful joke about the McRib opening a can of worms. The fan favorite menu item has not made a major return yet, so fans are disappointed to see them tweet about it without announcing a date.

It was last brought back last October and now occasionally pops up at isolated McDonald's. Fans have to use McRibLocator.com to find its sightings. It's always when is the McRib coming back and never how are you doing person running the McDonald's account, which is what the tweet was.

I mean, look, the people know what they want and they don't care about you. They want the McRib. That is true. They want their McRib. So apparently the McRib made nationwide comebacks in October 2018 and 19. But now we only got like a week left of October. There's nothing. McRib talk.

The sandwich first introduced in 81 rarely ever comes back on a nationwide basis. Wait a minute. McRib is as old as I am? I am the McRib generation. You are the McRib generation. Yeah, let's see one person thought the mcrib joke was funny but that not make missing it any easier i would be honored to be asked when the mcrib is coming back one person wrote uh one person said the mcrib is available all year round at your local dollar store they They have a Fast Bites BBQ Rib Sandwich tweet. That's just a bunch

of people tweeting stuff. Everyone is mad and says, bring back the McRib. Maybe they've announced it now. Maybe the pressure got to them. Well, a McCox and Crandor is close at hand when the McRib returns. When the McRib returns, it's time

for you to send us your McCox and Crandor photos. Oh, yeah. I, for one, can't wait. I gotta try my McRib and hate myself for a day. Yep. Everyone has to. That'll be fantastic. Well... Uh...

And, uh, that's... I was just checking if there's any updates, and, uh... Not yet. OK, well, that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening and watching. However, you enjoying this podcast. Crandor hit him with the socials. We got Twitter.

Oh, wait, I'll start with the podcast. You go to YouTube dot com slash Cox Crandor podcast. You'll see all the podcasts. You can go listen to last year's and be like, wow, Mc McRib. Or like, wow, McCox and Crandall. Or go back two years and be like, wow, that's when Jesse ate a McRib live on the recorded audio. And then you can pick the podcast part off. And then you can find all the animations and find that cabbage one and be like, oh, that's what they were talking about. Because I'm going to look that up probably after this just to see what I was talking about.

And then you can also find us on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud, all those sites. You can also find our own things on Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox, Twitter.com slash Crender, YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox, YouTube.com slash Crender, Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox, Facebook.com slash Crender, Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox, Twitch.tv slash Crender, That's it for us. Thanks so much. We'll see you all next time. And as always, to be continued.