Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 282 - Horse Meat Batman

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

The boys are back again with another episode, and this week Crendor unleashes an earworm from the world of chiropractory that is sure to ruin your week. Also Jesse sees more weird LA stuff, a town in Arizona wins us over and HORSE MEAT BATMAN IS REAL. Go to http://calm.com/cox to get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription!

Today's episode is brought to you by Calm. Calm is here to relax you and calm you. I guess that's the point. We'll talk about that later. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning.

Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Hit me! Wake your ass up! It's the next friend of the morning! Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me! Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Gax and Quentin of the morning!

Greetings. No, it's still weird. I wanted to call back to it. Saying greetings is still weird. Greetings, friends. It is I, Count Chocula. Count Chocula? That's the one vampire you went with?

I feel like he's the one vampire that would say greetings. Greetings. You know what? He would be like, welcome to my chocolate mansion. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I mean, you're right.

He is the most delicious of vampires. Yeah. Do you think he tastes like chocolate or does he suck chocolate? Or like, how does Count Chocula work? Why is he Count Chocula? Oh, he sucks chocolate. He's sucking chocolate hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. It's a good start to this podcast. Yeah, I don't know. Like, like, why are we even talking about this? I don't know. You're the one who said I'm Count Chocula.

I guess you're right. Let me talk about something I have been doing. Okay. You haven't been doing Count Chocula? All right, good to know. Good to know. Or sucking chocolate. I have been watching Bob and Brad Physical Therapist.

What? Why every time you say, let me tell you something I've been doing, I don't know why I expect it to be like going on walks in the park. It's always like, so I've been watching bob and brad physical therapists well okay i have been trying to walk more but it's like march so it's like one day is like 40 and one day is like 65 and you got like you know it's like is it gonna be good today yep it's cold yeah so instead physical therapy i understand instead physical therapy because i've been getting like who would have guessed from sitting in a computer chair,

staring one direction hunched over would cause neck pain. But it does. And so I was like, God, right in my upper... Just my entire neck is just like, eh. And I was getting up in the... I guess it's called the suboccipital area. It's the, uh, the base of your skull, like in the back of your

head. Uh-huh. What was happening there? Just getting like tight, it would be like like little like pains and you're like, ah. You know? I don't. I don't. My, my pain is always right behind the eyes. Uh, that can actually be caused by suboccipitals. Well, there you go.

Maybe that's my problem. Pretty much, it's usually all posture related. So, pretty much Bob and Brad, physical therapists. All right, so you go on the YouTube.com and I was like, I got to find the... Is it YouTube.com slash Bob and Brad? Is it Bob and Brad? It's physical therapy video. Just search Bob and Brad, though. You and Brad? It's physical therapy video. Just search Bob and Brad, though.

You'll find him. Right, of course. I was like, all right, all these physical therapists, I just need some neck exercises. Then I came across Bob and Brad, who are like two older Wisconsin, Minnesota men.

Bobandbrad.com is their website. So, I mean, you know. know all right and then all you have to do is just click on one of their videos and listen to the first 10 seconds their little jingle it's been stuck in my head oh no i'm on their website i gotta go to youtube now you gotta do it you gotta do it bob and. Yeah, you're right. Bob and Brad pops up immediately. Okay. It's a catchy jingle.

Both these guys look like the dad of the girl you're trying to date. The dad who's like cool. You know, like when you show up and you think he's going to be like, what are you doing with my daughter? And say he's like, oh, hey, you're the one dating my little girl. And you're a little weirded out by it. You're like, whoa, wait a minute. He's like, you got to correct your posture there, bud.

Welcome to the family. Yeah, he's that guy. All right, I'm going to click on get rid of knots. OK, do it. Bob and Brad, the two most famous physical therapists on the internet. Well, that was a thing. Bob and Brad. Like, if you watch enough of them, it's going to be stuck in your head for days.

It is almost as bad as, like like 1-888-8888. It's that. Right? Then they're just like, hey there, you know where we are? It's Bob and Brett. They just have like the Minnesota, Wisconsin accent. Yeah, they're big fans of the Vikings and Packers from what I can tell. Yeah.

So yeah, I've been, I've pretty much just been watching them for how to correct my posture and my muscle issues and all the things. Is that on all their videos? Do muscle relaxers work? Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. Physical

damage. On the internet. On the internet. On the internet. You know what? It has the lyrical flow of those, you know, the car parts commercials that have the music videos in them. They're, like, really bad. They're not even, they don't even rhyme. They're like, rock auto, get in the store.

You got the rock. Like, it's terrible. They're just not. But the problem is, is I remember them. I guess they work. But I'm just like, this song sucks. Like, this is a genuinely auto, like, awful song. See, I almost said this is a genuinely auto song.

They got my ass. They're just like, rockado, you need parts for your car. Rockado. The lyrics, I guess, make sense. They sell the product, but they're not lyrically good. There is no scheme to them. They're like, Rockado, all the parts your car

will ever need. And you're like, what the hell? This song sucks. Rockado. Meanwhile, the standard This song sucks Rock on Meanwhile The standard go to is Salino and Barnes Like that's the one That Nothing came better than that

Salino and Barnes Injury attorneys 100 888 888 888 Those are the best songs I guess

Salino and Barnes doesn't exist anymore but those are the shit there's uh there's one in Chicago for like personal injury attorney and he's like you need me now it's like 222 22 22 that's my favorite one here

man good commercial good bad commercials are there's a there's a car dealership here in la i don't know i i don't want to give a shout out to the wrong car dealership but they're uh every commercial is the same group of like four hispanic dudes actually three dudes and one lady and they purposefully make them as cheesy as possible. Like one was Superman. And it's like him on a table. He's green screened out the table. He's like, I'm bringing you deals.

They're so good. They're my favorite ads on TV. I love them. He's like, oh, no, look out. The deals are coming. He's like, I'm bringing you deals. I love them. I love them I love them there reminds me of the Jones barbecue and foot massage now that's a store yeah just

look if you haven't seen it like from 2009 it's literally just Jones I guess dancing with like a dinosaur and a chicken. Jones, barbecue and foot massage. People often say America has too many commercials that happen. And you're right. Most of our commercials are shit. I would, if I was in Congress, I would make a law that if you spend more than $250 producing a commercial, it cannot be on TV.

Enough flash commercials. I want everyone to sell like they're making a really awful YouTube video. You know what I mean? Like just a terrible YouTube video. Those would be the best. Watching those would be amazing. When I think about it, There weren't that many of those When I was watching TV in England

I feel like they don't have the same quality No well I mean Most of the TV channels that we have access to I'm sure there are more if you live in a house But like when you're in a hotel or whatever Most of them are BBC things like that As far as I'm aware there are no commercials

There are other channels like Dave And stuff but most of those Channels the commercials are like I don't know One half of the length of an American commercial break So they seem to fly by TV's dumb but listen to our

Advertisements We have good advertisements Our advertisements Are literally those But listen to our advertisements. Well, I mean, yeah, we have good advertisements. Our advertisements are literally those under $200 advertisements. That's who we are. We are those advertisers. I'm like, yeah, so then I used Calm to sleep, and I heard this story. That's a better advertisement than like, listen to Calm. It'll help you sleep at night.

My name is some celebrity. Right? No, you want us to be like, put this app in your ear holes, idiots. That's true. That's a grade A commercial comparatively. Yeah. So anyway, Bob and Brad these physical therapists on the internet and i've just been watching their videos on how to fix my posture and uh man it's been i've been learning

how bad my posture is it's pretty bad what do you mean are you not sitting up straight? No, no. God, no. How are you sitting? When you sit, describe to me how you sit. So usually, I'll just sit a little hunched over. I'm not like a hunchback or something, but just like slightly hunched and usually looking a bit down. And then when I'm streaming or something, I realize that I tend to, because I have like two monitors, and so I tend to look towards the one on the right instead of the one in the middle unless I'm playing something. So I'm always either looking middle or right and never left. And then I tend to lean forward into the microphone so that I can talk close to it.

And then I tend to just slowly also adjust more to the right so I just end up twisting my entire body to the right over time and so my entire left side is like it's struggling and they said for every I don't know it's like for every inch your

head is forward or something that's like 10 pounds of pressure on your neck so if you're're just super leaning forward, it's bad. So now, I am attempting to just constantly pull my shoulders back and pull my neck

and chin back. There's chin tucks where you tuck your chin back. That's one to help. And that one actually hurts a bit. Which isn't good. You gotta correct it. And then just doing some other neck exercises.

There's one with a towel. You wrap it around. You help twist your thing. There's one with looking up. You don't want the towel on. Those videos you showed me, that people look. No, this isn't like you're not getting the crank yank or whatever. This is just you're literally wrapping a towel around your head and then gently having it help you push your head as you turn it.

That's why I was watching Bob and Brad videos on Twitch for an hour the other night because I wanted to play Wheel of Fortune on my Switch, but the dock broke. And so I was like, I'm just going to watch physical therapy videos. So for an hour, I was just chatting and watched Bob and Brad and helped everyone with their posture. And then someone was like, Crendor, are you going to get copyright

struck for this? Like, I don't know. And I was like, if this was a chiropractor video, yes. I probably would. But, it's Bob and Brad. I don't think they yes. I probably would. But it's Bob and Brad. I don't think they care. I mean, I care. You know, so there's that.

You gotta fix that posture. And then I've been working out the knots. Muscle knots. Some of those are like, oh my god, some are like crazy tight. Have you ever worked out a muscle knot um i don't know i'm sure that says a lot about me that i'm like my muscles are smooth zero knots there uh so there's like trigger points throughout your body and like your muscles like not up and uh you have to essentially break the knot up to get better body and like your muscles like knot up and uh you have to essentially break the knot up to get better circulation and like the muscle back to normal but some are just like

super tight so if you like reach behind your back usually in the middle upper part of your back there's like a couple and you just kind of feel around and then you might feel a sensitive spot and when you feel it you like, like, push into it. And sometimes it's, like, so bad it can, like, run down your arm. The, like, the pain will, like, go down your arm. And if you hold it, you feel it kind of slowly break up. And the pain, like, dissipates in your arm. Shit's crazy.

There's a guy that works as a audio tech when we do audio recording for video games. And he's a great dude. He is like one of those hardcore bodybuilders. And he has that problem all the time. So when we're in the booth, what he'll do when he's sitting there is he – I know they have them online that you can buy that are like, you know, actually made by a company. But he created his own muscle knot breaker. It's literally a power drill or like a power saw,

except he removed the saw bit and instead put this giant, like, I'm going to say fist on it. And he sticks it on his body and presses the trigger. And it starts, like, pounding his flesh. And he's like, oh, yeah, that's good. And the one time he put it on my back, I almost felt my whole body shatter. I was like, you do this all the time. And he's like, oh, yeah, gets me so loose.

And I'm like, I've never felt more tense. Everything about me, I braced for impact. It was like, I was like, yeah. It was crazy. I was like, how do you do this all the time? He's like, nothing's better for you. It's so good. All my muscles, I feel like I'm just floating on water.

I'm like, I think that's your body rejecting it. I don't know what's happening. You shouldn't feel like you're floating on water, right? He's like, no, man. Whenever I sit down, I just feel great. I was like, well, I feel great sitting down, too. I don't need that in my body. He's like, I'm telling you, man. One day you're going to wish you had this.

And now I see everyone showing them off. Like, this is my muscle relaxer. It's like this giant gun that just fists you. Oh, the massage guns. Yes, but he made his own one. Massage guns. Yes, but he made his own one. And it goes like 18 times faster than any massager I've ever seen.

I'm like, oh my God, that thing's crazy looking. Yeah, I actually bought one off Amazon. But I don't use it on my neck or anything. Because you're not supposed to use it on your neck or whatever. Because there's vital arteries there. And you're being like... I promise I won't take any of this out of context. So you bought a massager and you don't use it on your neck. Where do you use your massager? Well, I use it on my hamstrings.

The calves. Gotta work the calves. The glutes. It'll really get into the glutes. And then I try to use it on my back, but it's hard to reach back there. So it's like, you know, you can get certain points. And then use it on the side. Just grab Toast and be like, baby girl, you got to do my back.

And she'll be like, okay. Oh, yeah. She probably would, actually. That's what I'm saying. What's the point of being married if you can't get your wife to drill your back? That's a great point. I'm saying, like, why even live with another person if you've got to do it all yourself? I mean, she will scratch my back.

Be like, I'll do you, you do me. Let's get in there. And just, like, go to town on each other's backs. Break those things. That's true. I. And just like go to town on each other's backs. Break those things. That's true. I need to break some of those muscles up. That's what I'm saying. When we're done here, you should be like, hey, girl, get over here.

And she'll be like, what the hell is your problem? Hey, girl, get over here. Just lay down and be like, destroy my back. And she'll be like, I thought you'd never ask. And then you'll realize, you know, you unlocked a new part of your relationship. You're welcome. Oh, that's the other thing I use. The tennis balls.

Oh, on your feet? No, on your back. Oh, on your back. Oh, you lay on them? Yeah, I learned this when I actually did physical therapy two years ago. You, like, take two tennis balls. This is like the, you know, makeshift version. You take them and you put them in, like, a sock or something.

But I bought the one that's, like, an actual, like, two-ball weird dog toy contraption thing. And so you lay down. Or you can either do it against a wall or you can lay down on it if you want like some super pressure and you kind of just roll your back on it and you that helps you find the knots and oh my god if you hit like some spots it can be like so painful you want to like throw up you are not selling this at all at all but then the pain dissipates and you feel great. You're not even selling this at all. You're making it sound like popping a pimple, but it's your whole body.

I mean, well, it kind of has that same feeling. Because at first you're kind of like, but then you pop it and you're like, nice. You know? Yeah. Well, that's not me. It kind of has that same feeling because at first you're kind of like, ooh, but then you pop it and you're like, nice. Yeah, well, that's not me. Your whole body shouldn't be like that, I think, but all right, yeah. Well, it's the main areas like the upper back, the neck, everything you work, like hamstrings. I guess. Especially now I've been up like, upping my cardio.

Ooh. Your heart will thank you. I know. I need it for my blood pressure. Oh. Yeah. So I've been doing that. And slowly I'm upping my, like, amount of time I can do the cardio for.

That's the one thing that I can do well. Just cardio. It's weird. It's always... It's always... I think I should probably be insulted, but I never am. Every time I go to a doctor... I can go on a cardio machine. I'll stop

because I'm like, well, I guess that's enough time right but i'm not like oh i'm so worn out which i probably should should work even harder to wear myself out but i'm like i don't know i've got stuff to do now all right so yeah but i'll go i'll never forget i went to the dentist one time and they took my blood pressure and um they were like oh wow i was like what they're like are you oh okay well your blood pressure's fine and i think they thought it was gonna be terrible and i was like i think i should be insulted they're like this fat ass walking in here and they were like oh it's fine and they were like wow they were all shocked and

i was like what do you mean this is uh i've never seen this before i like do cardio well yeah look i'm on i'm on a process when you start at fat you don't just automatically become skinny there's a whole series of fat in the way you got to go there's like super fat and then like mega fat and then like there's all the fats you don't just like show up one day thin and people be like oh you're doing well like damn work with me here so yeah they were like oh oh i just looked them like is something wrong like no actually nothing's wrong and i was like oh okay sure i mean it's uh it's the same with me people are always like oh my god you got high blood pressure you're thin and i'm like oh yeah i eat like cheesecake factory spaghetti and meatballs so i mean

two days worth of sodium so that's uh so i mean you know the cardio's not Cause like you know I do weights but like with weights You get some cardio but you're not getting like Cardio cardio So like I'm working my way I did like 5 minutes then I did 8 minutes Then I did 10 minutes today I did 12 minutes Of just like constant

Like elliptical See this is the difference This is why I have to believe those people on the internet who are like, cardio is not how you lose weight. I have to believe that because I'm going like 45 to an hour. Oh my God. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But I'm going like 45 minutes to an hour on that shit. And you're like 12 minutes. I'm like, well, there's my problem. on that shit and you're like 12 minutes i'm like well there's my problem cardio beneficial time world horror health organization recommends that whatever type of cardio exercise you choose to do it should do it for at least 10 minutes at a time to get most benefits if you engage modern

intensity workouts such as brisk walk then 30 minutes can help so you need at least 10 minutes i mean i imagine you're probably going faster than me just because of aerodynamics. Oh yeah, probably. But I'm still doing it at a rapid pace. Yeah. I mean, 40 minutes, that's a long

time though. I've heard that when you do only cardio though, your body does something where it starts to go in, like, a survival mode, and then it starts storing fat after a while of doing cardio. I don't know. I mean, I've learned a lot of things. Being fat, you learn a lot of shit over the years.

Like, people always send you things, give you advice. My mom literally recently gave me a cookbook. Like, for some reason, I'm going to ever use that. And it's, like, you know, like, losing weight reason I'm going to ever use that And it's like Losing weight I'm like cool thanks for another Reminder mom I am on it don't worry Thanks again For reminding me

Another one next year I'm like awesome cool Another reminder And I Was going through I was reading this one Article and it was like, well, one of the problems with burning fat is previous drug use. I'm like, what does that mean?

And it's like, well, when you're overweight, if you do anything that has like marijuana in it, it gets stored in your fat. And so when you lose weight, that chemical releases into your body i was like wait a minute so the more weight i lose i'm just gonna get high i'm like oh no oh no well well that explains a whole lot i guess man it's so i'm learning all sorts of weird things. All the facts. The thing is, like, we have, like, the opposite problems.

We're not, you know, we're not normal. So, like, I'm on the other end of the spectrum. We're like, I've always been skinny, so I had to gain weight, especially when you start working out and you gotta, like, bulk. And so everyone's like, oh, just eat cake. I'm like, I don't want to die. I don't want to get diabetes at 35. Are you telling me that my idea to eat two toaster strudels every morning wasn't going to do it for you?

You would have gained weight super fast. Yeah, well, I've also got the stomach and IBS, the arthritis. It's like, you know, which one do you want? Speaking of IBS, I discovered that I can't do almond milk. Oh. So in my effort to, you know, not be a giant monster

of lard ever again, I I weirdly descriptive. I got a mixer and I've been doing like smoothies, right? Like veggie and fruit smoothies. And it's been going very well.

I'm like killing it. But one of the suggestions that people were like, hey, instead of using milk milk, use almond milk. And I was like, okay. I mean, I've never really given it a shot before, but I like almonds, so that's fine. Put it in. I had to go to the bathroom for like a whole day straight. And then was like, well, something's wrong. What happened?

What did I eat? And I didn't realize it was the almond milk until I ran out of almond milk and then it just stopped. And I was like, oh, no. And so, yeah, almonds I can handle, but apparently almond milk makes me like – I spent over the course of a week, I'm going to say 85% of the time on the toilet. I was gone. Destroyed my body. And I feel fine now.

Didn't know that was the case. Had no clue. Looked it up online. Couldn't find anything about it. the case had no clue looked it up online couldn't find anything about it i found one um article not article one post on a forum where someone was like can almond milk give you diarrhea and people were like i've been thinking about this too and ever and i guess there are other people like me who can eat almonds but almond milk just gets you i have no idea why no idea why so i guess i'm allergic to it i have no idea interesting i don't know yeah that's uh as somebody who's been the multiple gas as a professional

that's the top thing i'm gonna save you your co-pay for your first visit uh they're they're like here's what you do keep a food diary and then look at the things that irritate you. And at first you're like, this is dumb. But then you do it and you're like, huh, this thing probably does it. And this thing probably does it. And then before you know it, you know, you eliminate those things. And you're like, wow. It was strange.

I had never experienced that before where one food could cause that. Right? Like, I can eat almonds. I can eat almonds. I can eat a whole handful of almonds. But I wonder if because almond milk is like more almond per capita of all. I have no clue. Maybe I truly am. I have some sort of almond thing.

I don't know. I have no idea. But it got me. And for a few days, I thought because I had the night before made like an oven pizza. And so I thought it was that. I was like, oh, that pizza got me for a whole. But then I realized it was the milk. And I was like, what? So, yeah, I guess I'm in the Crandor train.

Here's the thing. Eventually, we're just going to switch personalities and bodies. We'll just... And then we're done. Yeah. Not me. I'm going full-on buff door for the rest of my life. Can't stop.

I want to see full-on buff door like 85. Honestly, I'll be that guy. I'll be the old guy at the gym of the clipboard it is interesting i i feel like my parents are a good role model and that as they're aging through their 70s they're like you know well going towards and aging into like, they're like killing it right now. They're doing very, very well. They, uh, you know, have the movement of much younger people. Cause you know, you see some people in their early mid seventies who were just like a mess and, uh, you know, I'm like, wow. All right. So, oh yeah. There used to be a woman who lived on the block that my parents lived on. I don't know what's going on with her now.

I hope she's doing well. She was like 90-something, moved better than most 20-year-olds I've seen. Lady was like every day outside doing stuff. And I was like, damn, that is a life's worth of great genetics and working out or something i have no idea what's going on there that woman loved it yeah it was crazy she would be like walking up and down the street talking to people living her best damn life i was like that is that is the goal right there everyone should be trying to do that it was like biochemists i talked about a few weeks ago

where they're doing all the like studies on yeah the coronavirus all that i watched him talk about because there's like a lot of people you'll hear it well they'll be like oh my god my friend was a runner and they got it really bad and so he was actually showing how on a cellular level that like marathon runners and olympic athletes and just professional athletes actually are more susceptible to like viruses like respiratory viruses because their body is constantly in like a state of repairing interesting and so actually it's like how getting too little exercise is bad getting too much exercise is also bad. So because of that, it's wearing you down. Yeah, there's a woman who is constantly on news shows.

I don't remember her name, but I think she works for one of the major newspapers or something like that. And she was a marathon sprinter runner. And she was one of the first people I saw on TV to actually get it. runner uh and she was one of the first people i saw on tv to actually get it and so she was talking about how she still has all these things wrong with her and long-term side effects and i was like you saying that it clicked it like clicks that box of like oh yeah i guess that explains why she was one of the first people like immediately got it yeah like he was showing on a graph of like things they were studying and everything like people that would just do walks for like 20 minutes a day every day were like far better off than people that were like marathon runners because you're like when you think about it you're

like your body is super stressed constantly like you're running marathon like you're you're pushing it to its limits which is like it's cool if you want to do that, but, you know. I mean, we are just flesh machines at the end of the day, like, truthfully. And, you know, if you have a sports car and you want to put that thing on, you know, sport mode and rev it up as fast as you can go and drive down the highway at, like, 200 miles an hour, you can do that. But if you do that for 12 hours, your car is going to – you open that hood, that's just going to be red, right? You're going to have some problems. And if you keep doing it over and over and over again, you're going to, you open that hood, that's just going to be red, right? You're going to have some problems. And if you keep doing it over and over and over again, you're going to wear out that car. Yeah, exactly.

So it's just, it's one of those things of life where it's like, just find the good balance, you know? Everything in moderation. Exactly. Just get that moderation going, you know? You don't need like five hours of cardio. You need like the, you know, 20, 30 minutes. That's that moderation going. You don't need like five hours of cardio. You need like 20, 30 minutes. That's all you need.

Well, I'm still going to do my 40 to an hour. I do it when I watch TV shows. I mean, that's why I do it that long. That makes sense. Because I'll do it over the course of a TV show. So if it's like a half hour show, I'll go a little bit over. And if it's an hour long show, I'm like, perfect. I have to watch TV. And that's, yeah.

Yeah. I have to watch TV. I can't work out without watching something. My brain will actually become like you, Crandor. If I am, I realized this, I don't ever like think inside my head unless I'm working out. If I'm working out, I'm thinking about all, everything else in the world except working out and how much I hate working out. I'm like, I ain't gonna be doing anything other

than this. If I turn on the TV, it's over so quickly. I just need my music. I can't do music. Music, I will get in my own head. I'll start to think about shit. And not even like, you know, like, important stuff. Just everything

about how much I'll be like oh my leg and sweaty and all this pant legs riding up a little and it depends what you're listening to as well it's like i got my wub wubs right like i'm going hard edm i need to have lyrics i can't just do i can't just do music if i i need something to distract me from the process of working out just do music if I I need something to distract me from the process of working out uh yeah you probably would not have no I trust me I have I have tried I have tried to I like need a distraction it's like when I do my weight lifting I do my big room so you hit the drops you're like you get like that's when you lift and then when I do cardio, that's when I hit the trance music. So you got to get put in that trance state.

And it's like. I wish that was the case. The only thing that can save me is Mariska Hargitay and the folks over at Law & Order. That's what I need. Well, You know what It's uh You know We're all

We're all different But we're all the same Yeah Speaking Speaking of different Um Before we move on I have a story

I want to tell you Alright Last night Well actually last Afternoon-ish I Went to the grocery store To grab some stuff

For the week right And As I pulled in I open my door and I hear loud screaming I have no idea where it's coming from No idea who's doing it But I hear this loud screaming And then I see out of the corner of my eye a guy like

Stomping around the parking lot And I look at him and he's walking around his car and just screaming at the top of his lungs. I don't know if he was doing it into a cell phone. I could not see it. He might have just been screaming to himself. I do not know. But let me describe to you what he was screaming.

I had to write this all down. He said, How dare they Me to me If they want to come for my ass They gotta know what ass this is My brother's a lawyer His Mimi's a lawyer

Paul Johnson, he's a lawyer too If anyone wants to take me down They gotta take down Paul too Already I'm like Oh my god, I need to write this down immediately. I like got back in my car, rolled down the window, and started furiously typing this out. I was like, this is some Cox and Crandall shit right here.

And he began, he like stomping around the car, and you could see everyone was like, what the hell? People were avoiding him. He was in the back of the parking lot, which is good, but everyone was trying to park near him and they see him they like drive away and so he kept saying stuff like um this is another quote i wrote down all those weak-ass bitches ran to texas a hard ass like me i stay right where i am they want to come for me they better come hard on that ass. That is another quote he said.

And he kept saying the craziest things. Again, let me just say it one more time. I don't know that he was talking on a phone. I don't know what was going on. It was just weird. And he was walking around his car furious. Truly angry. Not that crazy angry where you're shouting to the heavens

like, I want chicken nuggets shouting to the heavens like, I want chicken nuggets! I guess they're a little weird. This guy was pissed. Red-faced. Walking around his car. And so eventually I got out and walked up to the entrance. And as I got up to the entrance, he was getting louder and louder and louder. And the door opened and a security guard walked out.

And he looked at me. and he looked at the guy and then a homeless dude who had been in the corner walked over and goes dude i think there's a skunk over there and the security guard looked at him and he's like what he's like yeah it smells like poop over there and the guy's like dude you poop over in the corner he's like no man it was a skunk the security guard was like oh my god turned around walked right back inside he didn't want to deal with either of it he just walked back and he was like no i need to be inside the store and so the homeless guy looked at me and he's like the skunks you're terrible not like i just want to say for the record did smell smell. It did smell like a skunk. But the dude was just like,

did you poop in the corner again? He's like, no. So now there's this guy screaming in the parking lot and people are afraid to leave the routes. People are exiting and looking at this guy and sort of just standing around the entrance, which, by the way, smells like skunk now and so i was like i gotta see how this plays out and eventually two police officers walk up to him i don't know where their car was they just like walked up to

him they probably had the chipotle nearby who knows they walked up and they're like sir is everything all right and the guy was like they think they're gonna break me they and they're like, sir, is everything all right? And the guy was like, they think they're going to break me? They think they're going to break me? Me too, this shit. And I was like, what happened to this guy? What did this guy do? I have to know. I will never get that answer.

Because the cops were like, all right, sir, you need to go. And he was like, can you believe this? Can you believe what they're doing to me? And he's like, sir, you need to go. they're doing to me And he's like sir you need to go And the guy's like fine I'll go I've got to take out the trash anyway Got in his car and left I was like if I was a cop

I would have been like whoa What do you mean I'd be like this guy's going to kill someone I don't know why they let him drive away. They just let him go. And he drove away. And then I walked into the realm. So when I came back out, it didn't smell like skunk anymore. And the guy

was gone. So I guess it all worked out. But it was a weird night. I was like, ah, okay. Well, that happened. Yeah, I immediately messaged Gerard because the guy looked just like his brother. And I was like, dude, I know it's not your brother. I know it's not your brother.

But I had to double take because outside of Ralph's, there's a guy who looks just like your brother, dude. So I had to immediately text him while it was going on. I was like, oh, my God. This dude who looks like your bro is losing it in the parking lot. So, yeah, that's pretty much my night is what that was. LA, you know. Never a dull moment. That's a truther.

Well, speaking of truthers, here we go. Did you know one of the most powerful ways to improve your overall health, we talked a lot about that today, and happiness is to get a good night's sleep. No matter what you're doing with your muscles or the food you're eating or the workouts you're getting in, if you ain't sleeping, you're doing it wrong. That's truther. And of course, right now, sleep is tough for a lot of us.

It's becoming harder and harder to stay and fall asleep. And thankfully, Calm is here to help. The app designed to ease you into stress-free sleep and get that good night's rest. And when you relieve your anxiety and improve your sleep, you have a better part of not just the next day, but every other day after that for the rest of your life. Calm has a whole library of programs designed for healthy sleep, like soundscapes, guided meditations, over 100 sleep stories narrated by soothing voices like Stephen Fry, Kelly Rowland, Laura Dern, many, many more. I love the ones that are literally like, and now a train story. And it's like someone reads you a story about a train.

Wow, the train track noise is in the background. Oh, my God. Yeah. They're like, oh, yeah. The Oriental Express pulled in. You're like, oh, and they just pass out. So good. Over 85 million people around the world use Calm to take care of their minds and get better

sleep. And if right now you go to calm.com slash cox, you'll get a limited time offer for 40% off a premium subscription, which includes hundreds of hours of programming. So transform the way you sleep. Right now, go to Calm.com slash Cox. 40% off a premium subscription. That's Calm.com slash Cox. All right, Crandor, let's go to Chopping.

Let's go, Crandor. There's a traffic out there. Oh, boy. I love the way that you started pronouncing calm. I'm working on it. People keep getting me. People do keep getting me. I notice a lot of people overpronounce things, too.

Like when people say important. I notice a lot of people say, like, important. That is an important thing. And I'm always like, it's important. It's the same people who say, what? Where? Yeah. What, what? Where? Yeah. What?

What? What? Yeah, like, you know, I play a thing. But I do the same with sandwich. I'm always like, it's a sandwich. But some people are like, sandwich, sandwich. Sandwich is what I say when I'm being goofy. I need a Sammy.

Say sandwich. Sandwich. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. There's some words I can a Sammy. Say sandwich. Sandwich. Yeah, that's pretty good. There's some words I can do fine. There are other words I'm like woof. People are like, what'd you say? I'm like woof. They're like, not woof, the noise it makes.

What's the animal called? I'm like a woof. Oh, yeah, a wolf. I have an L problem. I have an L issue. What about like balloon? Balloon. Okay, you can do that.

It's not when it's like the L sound. It's the L sound. Oh, I see. There's some cars out here. Back to you. All right, Kreno. Let's go to weather. I was going to say let's go to Chopper's Copter weather, but let's go to weather.

Yeah, whatever. Welcome to the Chopter Weather Copter. Yep. Let's see. Let's go. I'll find another one of those comments people got on the YouTube. One of those comments people have. Someone said, I worked at Applebee's.

We had a contest to see who could cook with the most salt. Oh my god, that's so gross. Sounds about right. That's so gross. I don't even know. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. You could really, if you like took a steak, salted the shit out of it, let it sit for

a while, and then cooked it, I bet you could get away with being like, I used the most salt, and not have it taste like a complete ass then cooked it, I bet you could get away with being like, I used the most salt and not have it taste like a complete ass. I'll tell you what, I've been primarily cooking at home this last week, and it feels great. I love cooking at home. You got a whole thing going. But here's the thing, you have

people to cook for, too. That's true. Me, I'm like, a bowl of cereal will do. That's true. Me, I'm like a bowl of cereal will do. Somebody wants the weather for Jerome, Arizona. Sure. All right, Jerome.

Someone also said Jerome is cool. Sounds good enough for me. Is the weather cool? Probably not if it's Arizona. I'm going to go with no. Jerome, Arizona. Wow, there's a lot of Jerome places. Let's kick it over.

We haven't had Woppy in a while. Hey, Woppy, wake up. Woppy activated. Jerome, Arizona weather. As of 435 Mountain Standard Time, 71 degrees Fahrenheit. Sunny. Today's forecast, 65, 53, 43. Feels like 71 degrees Fahrenheit. Sunrise, 620 a.m.

Sunset, 647 p.m. Humidity, 40%. Pressure, 30.07 inch. Visibility, 10 mile. Wind, 5 miles per hour. Dewpoint hour 2.19 UV index 1 of 10 moon phase full moon 10 day 40 degrees cloudy skies Monday 73 mostly sunny 68 Tuesday Sunny Wednesday 68 Sunny Thursday 75

Mostly sunny Friday 77 Mostly sunny Saturday 78 Mostly sunny Sunday

74 Partly cloudy There is Wow This is so interesting So I went to go look up Jerome Because I wanted to see about it And there's a website

That I'm going to give them a shout out Passionsandplaces.com Where I guess it's this couple that travels The country looking at I guess the country And uh They went to Jerome Arizona And they have an article called

Exploring the best and quirkiest Attractions in Jerome, Arizona. And looking at it, it seems kind of like stuck somewhere between a very small town and a ghost town. Huh. I guess it's near Sedona. It's maybe two hours away from Sedona But they're like yeah Sedona feels like a tourist trap But this area is kind of out in the middle of nowhere

And it's an old mining town So they have a lot of photos Of old closed mines And buildings that no longer No one's in anymore The population I guess Is under 500 people Interesting

They're driving around taking photos of it And it looks like that ghost town vibe Where there's weird shops But then they go to the heart of the town On Main Street And it's all like art And art galleries And like crazy

It's fascinating. Wine tasting. Huh. There's. You like me some wine tasting. There's Airbnb places. One of them is called the Bohemian Bordello. Get out of town.

Is this true? I'm clicking on this. Oh, I think it's booked up. I can't find it. Oh. No Bordello today. No Bordello today. Oh, this is so interesting. Yeah, there's it's booked up. I can't find it. Oh. No bordello today. No bordello today. Oh, this is so interesting.

Yeah, there's the Mile High Inn. There are all these different places, and they look... It looks like it's from the 1920s, all of it. But it's fascinating that... Like, what does the inside of this look like? The Mile High Inn. I'm not going to lie. It looks like a very nice, comfy place. They have a photo of what I assume is some sort of delicious

looking sandwich. It's not bad. Oh, the Mile High Inn, I guess, is up on top of a hill looking down over the... Yeah, it's an interesting little... Probably a mile high. Yeah, it's an interesting little... I doubt it's Denver, Colorado high. But like they have all of these... Oh no. I scrolled down and I was like, oh yeah, art galleries. Let's look at these. And there's

one called Just Jan and the Artist Co-op and then there's like 527 Gallery and all these different places. And then there's Jerome Tattoo. And I swear I thought it was a woman getting her butt tattooed, but it's just the way she's posing. But I was like, ah, never mind. There's small town America. But it's interesting.

I love finding little places like this. I never would have known this existed. Yeah, that's really cool. So that's Jerome, Arizona. All right, let's go to sports. Sports. Welcome to the sports desk. So,

big sports news all around. Over in football, big time trades happen. The San Francisco 49ers traded up to acquire the number three pick from the Miami Dolphins for number 12. Third round pick and 22 and 23 first round picks. So the 49ers looks like they're going up to get a quarterback.

So that'll be interesting. And then the Dolphins acquire the sixth overall pick and 156 overall pick from the Eagles for number 12, 123, and a 2022 first round pick. Dolphins trading all around. Eagles moving places. 49ers moving up. It's not even draft day yet. We still got a month. Did you say 150-some pick?

What did you say? Yeah. There's 156. Every round is the 32 picks. I get it. That's just like a crappy pick. If you're like, yeah, I was drafted 152, I'd be like, ooh, I just don't mention

that. Here's the thing. Tom Brady was drafted like 180. I get it. I understand. It's crazy. Sometimes there's some diamonds in the rough there, but the vast majority of them, the higher you're up, the lower your chances of actually making it. What is the

last number that you could possibly be? Oh, that's actually a thing. Last pick of NFL draft. I forgot what they call it. It's, uh... That's their last invite to the dance. They call it Mr. Irrelevant. Damn.

The 255th pick of the draft. That is brutal. But, like, you still made it in right out of all the people that could have been drafted to play professional football you're still at the show yeah uh like looking back here uh for the recent mr irrelevance. Caleb Wilson was 2019. He appeared in zero games. Trey Quinn for the Redskins was 15 games. I guess the football team now. Chad Kelly Broncos played in one game. Kalen Reed tight in seven games.

Who's got a lot here? Ryan Suckup, the kicker for the Chiefs, was 2009's last pick, and he's played 166 games. Damn. I mean, I guess that says a lot about the kickers they had before yeah uh in 2000 Michael Green was a Bears defensive back he played in 104 games that's pretty solid yeah that's not bad every once in a while you get somebody who's like you know pretty pretty all right yeah um so yeah that's that uh and then over in nba a whole bunch of trades happen in the nba including the bulls which i was very excited about uh the bulls traded a bunch of picks and players they got nikola vucevic. Vucevic.

Pretty much an all-star center. They also got Daniel Tice from the Celtics. Troy Brown from the Wizards. I was very excited. I'm like, dude, Bulls are going to be great now. And then I watched them yesterday, and they were losing by 30 points. Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you do that to yourself? I don't know, but then apparently they didn't have any practice.

They didn't do anything. So, you know, they need some time to gel. That's fine. I'll give them time to gel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A whole season. Yeah, they need a while. The Heat acquired Oladipo.

Celtics got Fournier. You got the Magic trading Aaron Gordon to the Nuggets. That's a big one. You know what? Williams, Durando. As you talk about teams, I just want to say this. I appreciate the hell out of basketball team Names

Because most teams In most sports, especially I will say Football and the rest of the world has some Ridiculous names that I love They're like crazy names that make no sense But in America, most sports teams are like The Eagles

The Shark Monsters, the Lizard Tongues. But in basketball, it's like the Wizards, the Golden Nuggets, the Heat. They're like, I don't know. I just love the name. They're so good. It is true. They're very good.

I like the Minnesota Timberwolves, but they're always bad. And I just want them to be good for once. Well, they named themselves the Timberwolves, but they're always bad. And I just want them to be good for once. Yeah, well, they're only good when they had... They would have named themselves the Minnesota Cheesemongers. Would have been fine. Like, they had Kevin Garnett in the 90s. That's like when they were good last. But Michael Jordan was still playing, so they couldn't do anything.

Damn, that must... I feel bad for all those guys who were, like, peak basketball warriors, and then Jordan was like, no. No. There's still, like, stories of, like, Kevin Garnett, for example. He's like, every time I see Michael Jordan nowadays, he, like, grabs my head, and he's like, remember 96, where I dunked over you?

He'll just, like, do shit like that. Which is, like, crazy, because, like because he's won enough that he can do it, but you're just like, dude's crazy. Remember when I destroyed you. So, yeah, and then the Utah Jazz are actually number one, speaking of 90s games. Yeah, the Utah Jazz. See, another great name.

Yeah, and then the Phoenix Suns, the Clippers, are in second and third. You got the 76ers in first. You got the Nets right behind them. Bucks right behind them. And then over in hockey, let's check the standings here. We've got Tampa Bay at the top with Carolina right behind. You got Washington with the Islanders.

You got Vegas with the Colorado Avalanche right behind. You got Washington with the Islanders. You got Vegas with the Colorado Avalanche right behind. And then you got the Maple Leafs with the Winnipeg Jets right behind. Why is it the Winnipeg Jets? Great question. Who cares? I love it. That's true. Whatever.

And then fun Buffalo Sabres fact. Anyone want some Sabres facts? You know there's a person out there who does, yes. I don't know if they do. The Buffalo Sabres, after looking like the last couple years they were on the rise, have lost, I believe, nine in a row. Oh, my God.

And they have 16 points, which to put into perspective, the best teams in the league have 50. Yep, that's rough. That's rough. That's rough, buddy. And the next closest team to them is at 28. So that's pretty bad. Especially, and here's the thing.

Buffalo is a hockey town Oh yeah So I can't This would be like When Toronto sucks Yeah I can only imagine What radio talk shows are like

Get him out of there Yeah you got the Sabres And you got the Bills And that's it At least the Bills are doing something now Yeah the Bills actually In New York People who lived in You know New York City Were like I'm a Bills, and that's it. At least the Bills are doing something now. Yeah, the Bills actually in New York, people who lived in New York City were like,

I'm a Bills fan now. It's like, you liar. So yeah, sad for Buffalo. They used to be one of my favorite teams because I liked that they had a Buffalo on their logo. So I hope they get good. I hope they take the spot of like, I don't know, who's a team I don't like up here?

The Islanders. I don't give a shit about the Islanders. Not many people do, let's be real. And that's sports. All right, Quendor, what is our big news story and stupid fact of the day? Oh boy, it's time for the random fact. Also, baseball, it's time for the random fact uh yeah also baseball it's you know still spring training yeah baseball we'll get to it when it's you know october yeah uh let's see here i'm gonna scroll down find a random fact sharks can live for five centuries what that's right greenland sharks are known to be some of the oldest living animals in our world.

Researchers did carbon dating on a Greenland shark that was caught in 2014 and found to be 392 years old. Oh my God. That's insane. Further testing revealed our fishy friends could be up to 500 years old. They do say, don't they have that whole thing where they talk about, I mean, I was gonna say, isn't that the premise of a few movies where they try to like, we can cure cancer with sharks, right?

Something about their, the cartilage, or the way they heal, I have no idea how it works, but usually it ends with sharks killing us, because they're godless killing machines. Dude, that shark was alive. It says right here, when Leonardo da da vinci painted the mona lisa that's what i'm saying he was like i'm gonna get da vinci and he couldn't so now he can't die

he's like i can't go till i kill another famous painter yeah the da vinci curse yeah now that's a movie um we have to feed up leonardo da Vinci's grandkids Great great grandkids Dude that's a Nick Cage movie If I find a Nick Cage movie Yeah We still gotta watch that one We do we need to we need to set it up

I bought the Snoop Dogg one I have my Snoop Dogg one too Did I tell you that I found there's a Snoop Dogg rosé as well And I almost want to have that instead Yes we found it on this podcast Did we we i don't remember what i do anymore last year has been a mess i realize it's been literally a year now and i'm just like kind of over it um so yeah uh i did get a i forgot i got a weird news request. He said he sent it to both of us,

and then he sent it to me on my Patreon. There you go. He really wants the story read. It is. It really does. It's from... Hold on. Let me give him a thing.

King Kivik. They said, the horse meat vigilante. This has to be a good story. It's got to be good. Florida horse meat vigilante. He's also a Florida man, by the way. All right, Florida man.

Let's do this. From his secret compound, Richard Cuodu stages undercover buys to bring down unlicensed slaughterhouses. Police say they'd be happy to work with him only if he'd follow the rules. He's like horse meat Batman. I love this guy. Where's the meat coming from? Tell me who's bringing the meat. Yeah.

Oh, I love it. He saw what PETA was doing and realized it was completely ineffectual. No more marches, no more signs, no more half measures. Time to strap on the tactical vest and some fingerless gloves Justice is a dish best served at a gallop. Oh my god. I love this guy was like Peter's a bunch of puss I'm out there doing the real thing. Oh my god. This is amazing. All right. Yes The police won't even work with this guy because his methods are too extreme. Any man too extreme for the Florida police is not to be trifled with.

Seriously, do not mistreat horses around Richard Cuoto. Something tells me he's thought up some pretty innovative ways to enact pain against those who package horse burgers. Drawing and quartering, a lovely medieval practice of chaining a man's arm to one set of horses and his legs to another set Oh my god. I did not know that. I don't think anyone did. Richard says in the clip that a certain farm he's watching kills horses with sledgehammers oh my god god see that's the problem like there's got to be a more humane way than to bash a head in holy crap seriously you don't find the dark knight of florida's animal

slaughter underworld you put out a signal and he finds you yes he has his own his horse signal i i want to let you know I want to let you know, during this story in the background, I'm hearing the old animated Batman music in my head, and I just, I'm very excited for this. Cuoto's 50 years old, bald and powerfully built with a white goatee, he wore tactical gear and carried a concealed handgun.

Decade-old YouTube videos suggest that his voice had dropped an octave to the Christian Baelish growl when he caught orders from his swivel chair. Yes! Where's the horse meat coming from? Horse meat is slightly

sweeter than beef and rich in protein omega-3 fatty acids. In many parts of the world, it's celebrated as delicacy. You can eat horse tartare in montreal italy japan but in u.s its consumption has been essentially banned when congress stopped funding plant inspections the curious american sampling usually means a plane trip but there is one place closer

to home where adventurous adventurers can find the equine steak. In South Florida, only 20 minutes from South Beach, festers a hotbed of open-air abattoirs. Are you kidding me? There are... I love that this is a... Florida has a lot of problems. I love this is another one of them. It is wild.

Oh, my God. Okay, this story is like 10 years long uh oh my god this story's like actually 10 years long i don't know if i can read this whole thing like a yeah give me the highlights where's where's the thug notes on this let me i'm gonna skip to the bottom here there's gonna be some crazy shit at the bottom he He and Cuoto called 911 on speakerphone to report animal cruelty at the property. Then we formed a convoy and drove into a warren of unpaved

roads, farms, and slaughterhouses. When police arrived, they were exasperated to find Cuoto on the scene. They refused to storm the lot, then threatened Cuoto himself, accusing him of illegal tactics. This is the problem. The police never want to help. The police never want to help the police never want to help This is such a clusterfuck

Said once they departed he was embarrassed and frustrated the operation had cost roughly 150,000 salaries hazard pay veterinary care undercover buys and more he'd been wrong to believe the police would go in he said Nothing ever seems to come of it. A few days later, detectives would return to the property to find the slaughterhouses shut down, the animals and their butcher gone. Police representatives later told me they'd like to work with Kuotu in the future if he'll follow wiretapping laws and other evidentiary rules. There has to be structure. He's the dark horse. He's the dark horse. He's the dark horse. Don't they understand?

He doesn't work within the law. He needs a Commissioner Gordon. He needs someone on his side inside the law who's like, I trust him with my life. I don't know who that strange man is, but he's a hero. The hero we need. That November evening, Cuoto headed home from

the raid. He stopped for gas, his mind swirling with doubts about the future, but as he pumped fuel under the fluorescent lights, he spotted a Hispanic man approaching. The stranger had something in his hand. Have you ever seen this name before? The man asked Cuoto, passing him a shred of paper.

I know who you are and what you do you're gonna want to look him up is he a horse killer quote who asked yes the tipster drove off and quote climbed back into his truck and headed north to arm headquarters the pig and sheep remains would go into an evidence freezer the baby goats would get names and graze in the sanctuary alongside freedom's flight. The doubts were, for the moment, erased. The Bruce Wayne of South Beach had a new lead. Dun, dun, dun, dun!

I just could see him purse-top like a horse racing track or something, like staring down lightning in the background. This guy is amazing oh my god this dude actually looks like Batman hold on let me show you

he really does that's some cutting open evidence oh my god he really does he looks like if someone combined Batman and Captain Picard yeah he does this guy is amazing

so there you have it the horse meat vigilante I love this guy if you want to read the whole story just type in horse meat vigilante and you'll find the whole thing holy crap that is beautiful. Alright, well, that is it for us. Thanks so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this podcast.

Crendor, hit up the socials! We've got socials. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. You can listen to all the podcasts there. You can cut off the podcast part. You can watch the animations on YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor. You can find us on soundcloud spotify itunes any podcast place

probably also follow our own things we got youtube.com slash jessicox youtube.com slash crendor twitch.tv slash jessicox twitch.tv slash crendor twitter.com slash jessicox twitter.com slash crendor instagram notorious cox instagram crendor was taken alright well

that's it we'll see y'all next time and as always wow to be continued you you