Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 285 - When Croissant Attacks!

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

They boys are back with another episode and this week Crendor reports in on his updated food journal. He's finally taking care of himself - right?! RIGHT!?! Jesse discovers a new react channel and we all learn that malls are mazes! This and so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://calm.com/COX for 40% off unlimited access to Calm's entire library. Go to http://ritual.com/COX to get 10% off during your first 3 months!

Today's episode is brought to you by Calm. If you're needing that extra help sleeping, Calm is here to help. Also today we're brought to you by Ritual. It's time to up your health game with some good vitamins that are vegan friendly that are going to change the way you think about the stuff you're putting in your body. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4 hour recording studio! Recording! Hit me! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendog in the morning! Cox and Crenddad in the morning! Cocks Granddad in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome to the Cocks Granddad in the morning! Bleh.

Ooh, what happened there? It sounded like your head come up over the water there. Yeah, a little bit. Oh my god. Are you drowning, metaphorically speaking? Yes Not what I expected at all Alright, yeah, I'll go on

So last week I was like, I've started up my food log again, right? Uh-huh, did you quit that? Or are you still going, or are you just disgusted with yourself? What is happening? So I kept that going until I got Irritated to the point where I was like, I got to eat the bare minimum. What does that mean?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What does that mean? There's a thought process here I do not follow. As someone who's never eaten the bare minimum, please enlighten me. All right. So the last week, I was like, yeah, I got like some heartburns, some irritation, whatever. And I was like, I'm going to keep my food logged. So I was logging my food.

All right. And then I'd be like, okay, you know, I ate this, gave me some light heartburn. This I felt good. Then I wrote down one beer and I said stomach kind of sore. Then I wrote down. One beer. Then I wrote down fiber granola bar feel okay then i had my typical like chicken with like vegetables and rice dinner i said feel good

uh you know i was like all right and then some other stuff i'm still feeling good then uh i had the next day Chipotle. I wrote down... Why'd you do that to yourself? I wrote down, feel okay, then two hours later, light heartburn. Then I had an apple and a beer, and I said, feel okay, stomach a bit irritated, probably from Chipotle and beer. Then I wrote down, I ate like chicken with rice and vegetables again then i wrote down like stomach still a bit irritated so i had some like ginger tea that made me feel better then the next day all right feeling pretty good had my like breakfast of like

oatmeal whatever uh then i had uh let's see i had aboiled egg and peanut butter toast. Very nice. But I had some slight heartburn from that. I was like, all right. Then I had hamburger with onions, cheese, mushrooms, and Doritos. And Doritos? Yes, and Doritos. Slight heartburn, stomach upset.

Then I had one beer, stomach upset. Crendor. I thought you were like... I don't even know what I thought. I don't even know what I thought. All you're telling me is you're like, man, I have a lot of

intestinal problems, but you're eating like me. Yeah. I thought you'd eating like me. Yeah. I thought you'd be like, I have one crisp apple to start every day, followed by a healthy dish of vegetables and chicken, and I only drink

water. I thought that's what you were going to do. Instead, you're like, so I had a bearded apple that I ate chipotle, and then afterwards, I was like, man, I'm going to get like a burger. I'm like, what the hell? Well, okay. That would keep going.

I had a turkey burger with Doritos onion arugula cheese. Slightly irritated. Then I had a chicken sandwich. Feel okay. Then I had my normal like chicken rice vegetables feeling pretty good. Then I had like some peanut butter toast with bananas felt pretty good. Then next day I had my oatmeal, walnut, blueberry breakfast. I was like, okay.

Then I had coffee, coffee, a bit irritated. Then I had a question. Yes. Um, when you cooked your egg egg how did you cook it uh usually when I cook eggs I'll have like they're a hard-boiled egg or like a yeah hard-boiled or like an over like it's an over easy trying to figure out if you have like a grease problem if like you can't digest grease correctly I don't know uh yeah over easy egg was the other

way i did it but i feel like that makes you sick i've heard some things from like uh eggs people have hard times digesting or just eggs in general so it might just be the eggs yeah it's weird i've always enjoyed eggs but apparently i've learned eggs are like an acquired taste a lot of people do not like eggs though deal well with eggs But yeah, I'm like all right, so then so I was like all right, you know the coffee probably irritated me so then I tried to be healthy I had an egg hard-boiled egg a pear and chamomile tea and I got pretty irritated queasy

And it's kind of like this was was like it might be an egg thing my dude i don't know yeah so then from that moment on my stomach has been like i'm done with this shit so like since that moment of like i don't know when was this it's probably like tuesday uh i've just felt like queasy and just like my stomach's been irritated since then. So I'm like, I've been on the Internet looking up like, what is it? Some people like could be gastritis, could be IBS, could be dyspepsia, could be an ulcer, could be this. And I'm like, all right. So I asked my gastro and he's like, we could do an endoscopy.

Like I said, we could. And I'm like, man, but like I got a food log I mean, what is so what is the what are your options? Well, I can keep eating healthy and Hope it gets better or I can you know get the old get the old when you say keep eating healthy Right. Well now I've been eating healthy. Oh, all right. I was like, when did you start that?

Yeah, so now I haven't had any alcohol. I haven't had any fatty foods. I haven't had any like... For how many days, though? Like a day, two days? Since Tuesday. I guess like Wednesday. Since we're on day five. Wait, so you had all those burgers and things over two days?

All those burgers and, like, I had... It was, like, a few days of, like, eating bad. Like, those were, like, multiple days I was going through. Okay. All right. So, yesterday. Here's the thing. Yesterday, I was actually feeling a little better. I was like, all right, you know what?

I'm not doing too bad. Then I tried to be healthy. Here's the worst part. I tried to be healthy. I had some whole grain crackers from the store and the tzatziki sauce or whatever, which is the cucumber garlic yogurt sauce. I swear to God, that re-triggered everything. That was like hell's fires. I like ate like three of those with some sauce.

I'm like, and then it was just like three crackers got you. Listen, they're like three big whole great. They're like as big as Graham. No, there's no such thing as like three big whole. There's three crackers. Just three crackers got you. If something's going to irritate you, it's going to irritate you. I mean, you're right.

Look, I get it. I poured a little bit of almond milk. I already told you. And that little bit got me. So, like, I understand. I just think it's crazy that, like, three crackers. So maybe it's the sauce. Look, dude. It might be the sauce. You're a medical mystery to me.

I don't know how you operate. I don't know how the innards of you work. It's crazy to me. I wish I knew too. I'm just like, I wrote down whole grain crackers, tzatziki sauce, bad. Beer, bad.

Chipotle, bad. Fiber bar, fiber bar probably we're never gonna get a chipotle sponsorship with fiber bars it's coming fiber bars probably bad we don't know so like you know some other things are fine but like i'm just i'm i'm logging it down and just uh waiting now i will say on this great medical journey i did write down i went through my logs because i'm like this is kind of where the queasiness and irritation i had a few years ago was where i like i thought i had my gallbladder pain and it turns out i think it was probably just my stomach right uh because i remember they took it out and i was like i still kind of feel it so i'm pretty sure it's just my stomach and then i think just eating like post-surgery eating like liquid diets just

healed it up because your stomach's just like ah i get a break uh i wrote in 2018 to dr john my stomach pain and nausea i've been complaining about for almost a month is finally gone for almost a month is finally gone. Now. That does somewhat tie into now. But in my brain, I'm like, oh my god, I probably re-aggravated it so badly, it's stomach cancer.

There's no other explanation. Why is that your first thought? I don't know. Now, to be fair, I've thought I've had... Why is it the worst possible... Like, even... We are so... Even when I went to the eye doctor, and the eye doctor was like, something's wrong, we can't figure it out.

And then they were like, go see this eye brain doctor. So I go to the eye brain doctor, and he's like, let's get you in for a CAT scan. I'm like, why? What's the matter? He's like, we need to scan your brain. Like, don't worry. It could either be absolutely nothing or brain cancer. And I was like, all right, well, they're just checking.

It's not brain cancer. I wasn't like, I'm dying. Is this it? It's not what happened. I was just like, yeah, all right, whatever you say, doc. I was like, we got to do what we got to do. And you're like, my stomach hurts. I think I'm dying.

It's, I think we're seeing the different ways our brains act. I think I agree. I think so, too. Here's the worst part, is that worrying makes, like, digestive issues worse. I believe that. So it's just, it's not even helping. So I'm like, I just got to stop worrying. But then I'm like, just like, ooh.

You know? Like, I got my second COVID shot yesterday, right? Yeah. And so everyone's like, yo, dude, second shot. It's going to kill you, dude. That's going to put you down for like two days. Get ready. So I like get the shot, come home, make dinner, take a little nap, take some Tylenol, wake up in the middle of the night.

Like, you know, my arm is sore. And I'm like, you know what? I guess I'll watch like TV and goof around for a little bit. So I'm tired again. Go back to sleep. Woke up today and I was like a little sweaty. I think my body was working overtime while I was sleeping, trying to like kill off whatever. And I had like a little bit. I think my body was working overtime while I was sleeping, trying to like kill off whatever. And I had like a little bit of a chill, right?

But I got up and I like felt fine. And I was like, you know what? A little chill, it never hurt nobody. And I'm like, you know, my muscles are kind of sore. So I'm going to like, you know, take a hot shower and like stretch in that shit and like get good. And I popped out the shower and was like, I'm feeling great. And I popped out the shower and was like, I'm feeling great. I know that if you were in my place, you'd be like, the chills are slowly creeping over my body.

Am I dying? Is this it? I'm like, I don't know. I just feel like a little colder than I usually do. I'm not like worried about it. I'm not like freaking out. You know what? I just won't, you won't open any windows.

I'll just sit in a little hot box all day. I'm fine. I'll be all right. I'm okay. I know you'd just be like, I had the chills, and there weren't enough blankets. So I had Toast rub me down like some sort of animal no it's uh it's pretty accurate honestly i mean listen it's uh i've got like generalized anxiety but i also have hypochondria so it's just like when you get something you think the worst that's just like the hypochondriac brain

every time i've had anything i'm like oh it's gotta be the worst Thing I don't know how you get through I mean I know why I Think positively because if I didn't I would Mental breakdown I would Go like I There have been a few times in my life where I've had like a

General panic attack And and I know it's a panic attack because I've never Experienced anything like it before where you're just like I literally have to get up and walk around and like I'm like, oh, fuck. I'm just like pacing back and forth in my room and then it goes away very quickly.

But I recognize it as a panic attack because it's so rare. I'm like, oh, that must have been the infamous panic attack everyone talks about because that was unpleasant. And the fact that you're just like, I have that frequently, and I always think about the worst thing that could happen. I'm just like, my dude, I need to, I don't know,

I need to take you on a Jesse Cox adventure where you're just like, let me do the worrying for you. By which I mean I won't worry at all but i'll pretend it's uh it's a bad time you don't say it sounds terrible i don't want to be here but it's one of those things where i'm like oh man it's it's gotta be the word and then you like i'll like look back and be like well i did have this type of thing in the past and it's only like you know it's pretty much similar and then like you know i kept my food log and it's like you know i ate these foods that definitely made it worse and i'm like about setting yourself up for expectation like if you say it's gonna be bad and it turns out to be good you feel better

is that what it is i think that is part of it or it's just your way of being like If I think it's the worst thing right away And I get it checked out Then it's like you get whatever it is early I think that's also part of it I guess you're right They're going to check me out and be like It has been a year since you've seen a doctor What happened?

They're going to be like well you know A lot happened in the last year They're going to be like what the hell I'm genuinely afraid to go visit my general practitioner because it's been literally a year and i know they're gonna be like um what it's like sam sam is like sam will be like oh yeah i'm gonna go to go check myself into the er and they're just like uh what have you had sir he's like oh i've been dying for like seven months uh i've just had you and they're just like, what have you had, sir? He's like, oh, I've been dying for like seven months. I've just had,

you know, they're just like, why didn't you come here sooner? He's like, oh, he has a schedule to keep. I mean, I guess this goes back to the last episode where work, it slowly kills you, man. Especially our job. And Chipotle.

And Chipotle, yes. We'll never get a Chipotle sponsorship. Actually, you'll know if we're sponsored when Crandor's like, Chipotle, it ain't killing me. That's true. That's the worst part about Chipotle is I'm like, man, I don't want to eat this. It's going to make me feel bad. And then I eat it anyway. Chipotle near me now has cauliflower rice.

And I was like, I'll'll try it see what's up Um boy did I hate it I was like I've had cauliflower rice before and it's been fine But the chipotle cauliflower rice One stank like butt Two was like not very good And three I realized

I just kind of like want rice in my damn bowl I don't want to have to deal with like cauliflower I was like you know what it isn't the same texture doesn't feel the same I'm missing my cilantro lime I just I just want my damn rice so yeah I learned a valuable lesson about myself I'd rather get the rice than anything else I was like I'm fine just give me the damn rice yeah there's nothing wrong with that Nothing wrong with that So it's It's pretty much been my week

Lovely Lovely I have discovered I think I've mentioned this before I love watching people react to different things On the internet I've discovered that there's this couple And they are definitely from Florida.

They have a Florida vibe times a million. And they react to all the Avengers things. And he only wears shirts with guns on them. But he's like a skinny dude, but he has that fat head, you know what I'm talking about? And then his wife, girlfriend, whoever she is,

she definitely seems like she would want to talk to the manager. And so every reaction they have is, it's hard to explain, but it definitely feels like it's based in some type of over-exaggerated faith vibe. Where like everything they react to, they're like, this is not what Jesus would do. It's like, wait, what? It is incredible. It's so crazy. I don't want to do what we did with that guy who liked whipped cream and then everyone went to go visit

his whipped cream thing and he left the internet. I'm not doing that. I'm not going to tell anyone who these people are. If you find them on your own, you find them on your own. But I'm not getting someone forced off the internet. I'm not doing that. I'm not going to tell anyone who these people are. If you find them on your own, you find them on your own. But I'm not getting

someone forced off the internet. But they are unintentionally hilarious. I just, right before we started, just watched them go through Infinity War. And so everyone knows what happens at the end of Infinity War. They were like so upset. They cut

the video and when they come back, they're in totally different clothes. I don't know why. I have no idea what happened, but like as people are dusting, they're like, this sucks. This sucks. This is terrible. Not a child. And they like, cut!

They come back in their entirely different outfits. I could not tell you what happened, but they act like nothing occurred they act like they just keep going i have no it's that kind of thing i'm like what the hell just happened what is going on and they it's very clear they they only know marvel through the movies so when anything happens they make like wildly insane guesses that are just way off the mark. It is incredible. And I love them.

I would never be their friends. I would never want to hang out with them, but I swear to God, I could watch them react to movies all day. It's they're like, that's right. Wanda, she's a bad bitch. And the husband like gives her a look and she's like,

bad lady. Like this couple is so weird. So weird. So I've been watching them all week. I've gone through their entire Marvel Cinematic Universe library. It's wonderful. It's truly wonderful. I can't wait for

Endgame. I know it's going to be weird and awkward. The worst part is they have conversations over important scenes. So it's like really important scenes. They're like, I like that ability. That was a really neat ability. She's like, I think it was cool when he punched him. I'm like, yep, yep.

That was the cool part. I don't care about their opinions about anything else, but I will watch them react to Black Panther just to see What their thoughts are And here's the thing They love Black Panther They were like this movie is amazing And I was like alright unexpected

That's gotta be the What reaction channels are built upon You want to know other people's opinions On something But also unexpected ones From those two There are like two young black dudes want to know other people's opinions on something to see if it also unexpected ones right like uh from those two there are like two young black dudes who blew up last year because they would react to like old rock music and honest to god i think it's just because like old white dudes like

what do the young kids think about metallica and these dudes and these dudes were like oh my god this music is amazing! And they would like, and I get it. I understand that you want to feel kind of relevant so when a young kid sees your thing that you love, it's kind of like, now these are the youth being raised

right. Yeah, absolutely. I'm totally a victim of that. Last year, when people started to find by people I mean like 17, 18 yearolds started to find Rage Against the Machine. And they were like, this music's fucking sick. And I was like, ah, yes, my youth. I was like, ah, I'm glad the children understand how angry I was as a child. Like, ah, yes, Rage Against the Machine, yes.

I would love to talk more about this. Yeah, I totally get it Yeah I mean that happened even with Classic WoW When you think about it, people being like This is what we experienced And some people are like, this sucks And some people are like, whoa, this is crazy

Yeah, there's a whole vibe to You know, I Understand the retro Like why retro things are so popular Like I get it YouTube For people who are wondering Like oh yeah

Like retro stuff in general Was really popular Like I don't know what happened I don't know how I don't know what way they did it But if you look at YouTube Over the last I don't know

Like five years Retro everything has sort of Vanished and there's like a weird Algorithm behind it like I don't quite understand It but like if you made a video about Like a retro game You would have to have a really heavy Built in audience for it to take off

And I don't know I couldn't tell you why It's just something a lot of people have noticed Yeah it's It's like something a lot of people have noticed. Yeah, it's, uh... It's like... Just retro in general. Just, like, anything retro. Not just games. Well, it's like fashion.

Fashion will, like, go out of style, and it comes back into style, like, later. You know? They're like, man, people used to wear this in the 70s, and then it, like, comes back into style, like, 20 years later. But there's always a retro thing in general. Even if 70s style is out, there's another style that takes its place, right? Maybe it's retro, right? Maybe it's like an 80s style.

And so there always has to be like a retro something. You have to imagine there's a market. I don't know why it's not on YouTube. Maybe I'm crazy. If anyone listening is like, dude, this retro channel, you gotta check this shit out. Maybe, but I don't know, y'all. I feel like there's like the robots are like the past is dead.

Robot future begins today. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, we don't know. We've been over YouTube, but we don't know how YouTube works anyway. I don't. I don't know I mean we don't know We've been over YouTube But like we don't know how YouTube works anyway I don't I don't have a clue

I've given up even trying So yeah I can't even begin to tell you That's why I just watch People are like what do you watch on YouTube I'm like I mean Every once in a while I'll go watch people react to shit But like other than that

I got I got no vibes for ya Y'all I don't I'm not a great streamer I'm not a great YouTuber I don't know I don't know. I'm not a great streamer. I'm not a great YouTuber. I don't know.

I don't know what to tell you. And they're like, well, that doesn't make any sense. I'm like, yeah, agreed. Yeah, that's why everyone's like, do you watch this gamer guy? I'm like, no. Do you watch this gamer guy? I'm like, no. They're like, what do you watch?

And I'm like, well, I watch Review Bra. I watch a couple Warhammer channels. There's retail archaeology where he goes to like dying malls or like old malls. Oh, yeah. Speaking of that kind of stuff, I this

week have been, of course, I can easily just click on home and see all these, because YouTube is the worst, where I watch one video, and then it was like, oh, you watch this one video? Here's 80,000 more of the same video. I'm like, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. But, um, the, there's a guy, Paolo from Tokyo, I think is his channel. Oh, yeah. I've seen him. He's the guy that does like a day in the life of Japanese construction workers and shit. And he also has like, you know, this is what a $200 apartment in Tokyo looks like. This is a $700. This is a $1,000. He was like, this is a $4.5 million mansion. And I was like, none of this is worth $4.5 million.

Like, this is, I would never want to pay that money for this. And he's like, this is actually a really, really nice place. I was like, nope, nope, don't believe it. But, yeah, I've just been going through his videos. Like, he went to a McDonald's in Tokyo. He went and followed, like, a hotel worker. I watched that one. That was interesting.

went and followed like a hotel worker. I watched that one. That was interesting. We've watched, we've watched, I think all of his, like a day in the life of whatever. And then we watched like some of his other ones.

Like I just did home appliances. They did like Nintendo world. The thing is like, he was like an acquired taste. Cause at first I was like, this guy's a little weird. He does have kind of like a creepy killer too happy vibe yeah because he'd be like here we go it's lunchtime yeah like all right i don't know if i would be that excited about lunchtime that i'd be like oh but like after you get used to him you're

like all right that's just who he is yeah he's definitely like i don't know if he's putting on a thing but he's definitely like has a vibe that is very friendly and very outgoing. And I don't know if that's how he has to cope with, like he has one video where he talks about like reasons not to move to Japan. And he like drops a bunch of reasons that I was like, yeah, those are all reasons I would never move to Japan. Like just a million reasons I would never move there or live there. But, uh, and then he, you know, he has one where it's like, why Japanese don't like foreigners? And he has all this guy, and I'm like, I get all this stuff.

I think this is fascinating. But he does it in a way that is very, like, non-offensive. Because it's obvious he lives there, so he's not like, stupid Japanese! He's like, let me explain culturally why this is the case for these things. And he's like, like usually it's because you know america like one of the things he said the reason why people might have a hard time moving japan is that work culture is all like group based and so after work even if you don't want to go they're like we're going out drinking and you definitely should go out drinking even if you

don't want to and most americans he's like Most people are just like I do my own thing And they're like No no no You're gonna You need to go Or like He was like Paperwork in Japan

Is a shit show And they You know It's always been a shit show And you're just gonna have to sign up For all these different things And spoiler Most foreign names

Don't fit in the insert name document So he's like You'll register for things You won't be able to put your full name And you won't be able to like Get stuff Because it's not who you are. So he's like, you'll register for things, you won't be able to put your full name, and you won't be able to get stuff because it's not who you are. Yeah. And he's like, just heads up, a lot is going to

be a problem for you. And I was like, ah, thank you for these reasons why I would never want to live there. Now, visit, I go visit in a heartbeat. But like, I don't care if they hate me while I'm there for a week. They can hate me all they want. I'll be like, what's this thing? Oh? Look at this

Yeah, I know he's uh I know he's married to a Japanese woman And then they have a kid he's made vlogs being like the day in the life of a Japanese, baby And then you know he's just he's a baby Yeah, I like that channel. You know, like I said, you just got to get past the being like, is this guy going to kill anyone? And you're like, oh, no. All right. He's just, he's either putting on an act, which like, whatever.

I'll take it. Yeah. Or he's just overly happy. But yeah, I totally dig watching that. I think that's, you know, that kind of stuff. watching that i think that's you know that kind of stuff um i will say uh in his video why japanese don't like foreigners the number one reply is logan paul so i mean that's yeah yeah the stereotypical like dude bro american guy being like dude bro nice i'm in japan what if we like do some pranks Yeah I uh

Am very interested like there's Everyone has you know All these strange Japanese Videos and now because I watched one most of my Feed is like Japanese Things Japanese home exterior

Like if I just scroll down like sensei Reacts like how does that even? Like, okay. What not to do in Japan? Like, yeah, it's filled with it. And then here's my favorite one. Second row down. Lo-fi hip hop beat radio.

Japanese beats to work study to. Japanese beats to work study to. That's what it's. It's ridiculous There used to be like the opposite This is like if you made a channel Like if I made a channel it'd be like anxiety filled Like this is

A typical office worker's day in Japan He's like He hates his job He goes to work He's like yeah you know Work 15 hours today He struggles with severe depression. Wowee.

Wowzers. Yes. I mean, you know, it's a it's a nice like it's something to watch to like boost your spirits as well. It's very positive. Man. Now I just. Because I clicked that one video to show you that couple. The further I scroll down now it's all react videos. I. Like none of it is anything I actually truly want to watch.

Yet I know. If I'm like laying in bed or just bored out of my mind. I'm going to click one of them and be like. I guess I'll see what this is. And that's how they get you. That's how they get you. Every damn time. That is how they get you. That's how they get you every damn time. That is how they get you.

It is true. On my homepage, I've got... That's pretty fitting. Michael Jordan, last three minutes, final Bulls game. What if the Simpsons was British? Bob and Brad, proven core drill stops back pain. Nice. Review Bra reacts to cringy comments.

Yep. Elwynn Forest music. You nerd. Pat McAfee show. Yeah. Can I just say the best stream you could possibly do is watching that Michael Jordan video while playing Elwynn Forest music in the background. Just nonstop. Like a 10-hour stream of just that.

That would be pretty great. That's your sub-a-thon. That's you just doing that for 10 hours. That'd be amazing. That would be a great stream. Hopefully not copyright struck. You're welcome. You're welcome for all that.

All right. Well, you know what else you're welcome for I'm nailing this These amazing sponsors For this podcast Did you know Crendor That what we put in our bodies Every single day is important

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Ritual is offering you 10% off your first three months. If you visit ritual.com slash cox, it is spelled exactly how you imagine ritual would be spelled. R-I-T-U-A-L dot com slash cox to get 10% off your first three months. Start your ritual today. Also today, we're brought to you by Calm Home. In a world of uncertainty. One that might leave you feel like Krendor. Anxious and stressed.

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All right, Crandall, let's go to topic number seven. Scott with Crandall as a traffic autor. Oh, boy. Traffic today on the old 808 is going to be backed up for 45 miles. You're going to want to use the calm app to calm down on that thing also over on the 455 you're looking at a 55 minute wait also over on the 53 that's going to be backed up for at least four hours so uh definitely want to check out something like past podcasts over at cox and cremdor.com yo good call good call youtube.com slash cox cremdor podcast all in word and the youtube to do that one and then uh if you're on over at CoxandCrendor.com. Yo, good call. Good call. YouTube.com slash CoxandCrendorPodcast,

all in one word, and the YouTube to do that one. And then if you're on the 22, it's going pretty fast. So just take the 22 before other people find out what's going on. And that's an actual traffic report

for the first time in probably like seven months. Back to you. Thanks, Crendor. Now let's go over to Crendor at the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather. Thanks, Grendor. Now let's go over to Grendor at the weather desk. How's that weather?

Weather. I just decided to type in 66614 because I wanted to see what type of place would have 666. Right, right, right. It's Topeka, Kansas. A teen Satan, if you will. Of course's Topeka, Kansas. A teen Satan, if you will. Of course. Yeah. Topeka, Kansas. Sounds about right. Topeka, Kansas.

60 degrees. Mostly cloudy. Winter weather advisory. What? April? Damn, Kansas. Yeah, that's crazy. High 59. Low, 41.

Humidity, 35%. 29.97 inches of pressure. 10 miles visibility. You got a 33 on the dew point. 1 out of 10 on the old UV index in a moon phase of a waxing crescent. Take a look at the 10 day. We got 41 tonight, 59 tomorrow.

Tomorrow night, cloudy snow likely after midnight, 1 to 3 inches. Yeehaw. Damn. Tuesday, 48 snow showers early. So, going to get some snow. And then I think it's going to melt. After that, it's 51, it's 51 59 60 63 69 nice 78 73 63 67 so it's going to warm up but get a little uh little like last last push from old

man winter coming in before everything warms up I mean I I keep forgetting that there's other parts it's like been the same temperature here for months I keep forgetting there's other parts It's like been the same Temperature here for months I keep forgetting There are other parts Of the world That it's like Snow It's crazy I forget what snow Crandor

I literally haven't seen snow The last time I saw snow Was when we were in Boston That one year Where I was like Freezing so bad People were like Is Jesse okay?

Like no I'm fine Oh yeah I remember that Actually Does that mean It's going to snow here? Hold on. Tuesday. No, it's not going to snow, but it's going to be 40 degrees. Yeah, here it's been like 55, 60 degrees, so it's pretty pleasant. I like it.

Yeah. You have like lake stuff, too. Yeah, we got, like, lake stuff. It's like a pleasant vibe all around. Yeah, that's not bad. You get the changing seasons. Big fan. Because it's like when you're around, you know, some people are like, I got to be around the heat nonstop.

And it's like, you know, 80, 90, 100, back to 90, back to 80, back to 70, back to 80. I still like when it's pretty cool out. And by cool, I mean like 40 to 65. I think I thrive mostly at 50 degrees. I think that's a solid. At 50, I'm in my prime. I'd say like 55 to 65. That's prime Crandor time.

Also, throw in some like light light mist light like rain you want me to follow you with a mister yes i love that that's like oh my god when it was like the other day it was like 58 with like some light rain and i was like this is my weather this is the best uh so yeah that yeah, that's the weather. Alright, Grendo, let's go to sports. Sports. Over at the sports world, things are getting

crazy, like they always are. Like they always are. Like they always are. The NBA, we've got the 76ers up at the top of the East, and you've got the Nets, the Bucs, followed by a shit show of teams, Hawks, Celtics, Knicks, Heat, Hornets, Pacers, Bulls, Wizards, Raptors,

all competing. Over in the West, you've got the Jazz at the top, Suns, then you've got Clippers, Nuggets, Lakers, Trailblazers, Mavericks, Grizzlies, Warriors, and Spurs. Over in the NHL, we've got some hockey standings. Colorado-Vegas tied at the top. Then you got Carolina, Florida, and Tampa Bay battling at the top. Then you got Carolina, Florida, and Tampa Bay battling at the top. Then you got Washington at the top. Pittsburgh

Islanders and Boston right behind them. Then the Canada division. You got Toronto. You got Winnipeg. You got Edmonton up there. Also, Buffalo. Look at them go. They were in their last 10 games. Look at them go. They're actually 5-3-2.

So they've actually won half of their last 10 games. That's not bad. They're almost out of last place in the entirety of the NHL. Couple more points and they'll be there with the rest of the bottom

of the barrel. Believe in the dream. You can do it, guys. Yeah, they can do it. Baseball, we've had a couple weeks. Now there's only like 140 games left. Baseball, we've got the Red Sox at the top of the East, the Tampa Bay right behind. The Yankees are in last place. Oh, my God, they've lost five in a row.

Kansas City at the top of the Central, 9-5. You got the Angels and Seattle tied at the top of the Central, 9-5. You got the Angels and Seattle tied at the AL West with Oakland right behind. In the East of the National League, you got the Mets and the Philadelphia what are they called? The Phillies. Yeah, that's

what they are. It was a weird name. Yeah, it was so crazy. The old Phillies. You got the Reds top of the Central. You got the Dodgers top of the West at 13-2. Oh my god. They are easily the best team in

baseball. NFL draft coming up. I think it's like next week, actually. I'm excited. Speaking of NFL We can't move on We can't move on until we talk about the fact that

First off on April 10th Gardner Minshew Tweeted a photo of his new mullet Shirtless Wearing a belt buckle Crandor I'm just going to send you this photo I'm sure you've seen it but if not Alright

This is his new look. And... Oh yeah, I did see that. More importantly, besides looking amazing, everyone's like, oh, is he going to get traded? Is he going to get traded? And Seattle

is thinking of maybe taking him, but people are like, here's why he'd be a good fit for Seattle. All I'm saying is, it doesn't look like he's going to be a starter currently if he sticks with the Jaguars. And I'm saying make that man start. Someone give him a starter. He is too cool not to be a starter.

He is too cool. Well, if he goes to Seattle, he's not going to start either. They have Russell Wilson. I know. He's been – Go to the Broncos They have Russell Wilson. But he's been – Go to the Broncos. Someone take him. Someone take him.

They need a starter, Ben. He kind of looks like if Joe Dirt got really buff. That's what I'm saying. He has this grimy kind of like southern boy vibe. But, you know, I just – everything about him is – one of his photos on his Instagram is him in like an old ass van. Or maybe it's a pickup truck. I don't know what's going on.

I love how just, he's like classy trashy. I don't know how to describe it. He is classy trashy. I like that. Yeah. Incredible. Incredible. All right.

Yeah. That's what I care about in the NFL. We need more. We need more Gardner Minshew. Need more Minshew. Yeah. And that's sports. All right, Quentin.

What's our big news story of the day? Well, we've got our random fact of the day first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You almost forgot. Yeah. Where'd that fact go? Oh, here it is. All right.

Today's fact. The feeling of getting lost inside a mall is known as the Gruen Transfer. What? Yes. The Gruen Transfer? What? Yes. The Gruen Transfer?

We've all heard how casinos are designed to deliberately disorient visitors, causing them to lose track of time and where exactly they are. They are. But did you know that there's a similar strategy behind the design of shopping malls as well, known as the Gruen Transfer? This phenomenon was named after Austrian architect Victor Gruen, who identified how intentionally confusing layouts could lead to consumers spending more time and money in a shopping venue. Interesting.

Oh, yeah, that's like they do that at Ikea, too. They definitely do. That's no transfer. That's like a straight-up maze. Yeah, that's the Minotaur theorem. That thing is... Yeah. So I guess it's called the Gruen Transfer.

I think, I mean... I think we all knew that they do it, but it's interesting that it has a name. Yeah. But then it also says... Oh, he said he wasn't responsible for it. Well, then why do they call it the Gruen Transfer? Maybe he's the one who figured it out? Yeah, maybe he figured it out.

But he didn't do it? Maybe he's that guy... You know out? Yeah, maybe he figured it out. But he didn't do it, maybe? Yeah, maybe he's that guy, like, you know in the movies, there's always a scientist who's like, I figured out how to clone apes so that they're smarter and can kill us. And they're like, but I'll never do it. And then, like, you know, the government's like, we will. Oh, yeah. That's, yeah, that's gotta be it. He doesn't want to be responsible.

Right, he's like, how dare you put this on me? I'll never do it. Like, we don't need you to do it. We've been working on it for three years. No! Like that? Yeah. So, yeah, it's the Gruen transfer. Ah, okay. Big news story.

Well, there's two stories that were sent to us that are kind of interesting. Okay. First one, two women tried to spend $1 million bill at Dollar General. Amazing. Was it real or was it fake? Either way, great story. We're about to find out. Maryville, Tennessee.

Two women. I'm going to say fake. I'm going to say fake as well. Two women were caught trying to spend a fake. There it is. Yeah. $1 million bill at Tennessee Dollar General Store earlier this month. An employee of the discount store in Marysville reported April 5th that the women tried to use a counterfeit fortune to purchase several gift cards.

A million dollars in several gift cards? If you had a million dollar bill, you went to the dollar store? Is that really? There's no way. You have a million dollars and you want to buy gift cards so that... It's a wonder why they thought it was suspicious. You know, it's strange. Blount County Sheriff's deputies responded around 10 a.m.

and spoke with one of the suspects, Amanda McCormick, who said she received the $1 million bill in the mail from a church but could not provide the church information. Blame it on the church? Oh, boy. She claimed she was using the money to buy care packages for people experiencing homelessness. Well, I would just buy...

I don't know. It doesn't make sense. I mean, the gift card makes no sense. The gift card makes no sense. Yeah. The other woman involved in the incident told investigators that she had no idea McCormick had the phony bill and was only riding along. This is the best case of, well, it's not my fault. It's the church. And then the other person's like,

it's not my fault. It's her fault. No one accepts blame. It's beautiful. I don't even know that person. I don't even like, I was just in the car. How'd I get here? I just woke up. The women were ordered not to return to the Dollar General and were released without charges. Deputies took

the bill as evidence. The largest bill ever printed for public circulation in the U.S. was a $10,000 bill, according to the Federal Reserve. The last $10,000 bill was printed in 1945, along with the other since-discontinued denominations of 500, 1,000, and 5,000, and was issued until 1969. I mean, yeah, I don't think you could ever show up anywhere people look at you funny if you try to give them a two dollar bill oh yeah those exist for realsies and they're like what yeah yeah i think i had one and i was like

i'm not even gonna use this thing yeah i i was given a two dollar bill it's still in my wallet i've never used it it still just exists there in my wallet forever I'm like yeah I guess I'll hold on to this thing It'll probably be worth more down the line I feel like $2 is probably its max worth When they go extinct That's going to be worth at least $10 I don't think they're going to go extinct

I feel like $2 bills are still going to be a thing I don't think so I mean these other bills have gone extinct. I mean, you're right, but people can afford $2 bills. $10,000 bill is a lot. It's a lot of bills. Hold on here. Go on eBay.

What are you trying to do? No one's going to sell you a $2 bill for more than $2. If they are, it's a ripoff. Now you're making me go to eBay. For more than $2 If they are, it's a rip off Uncirculated crisp $2 bill notes $9 No, this is, that's dumb And they've sold a thousand of them This guy

$2 genuine legal tender currency Colorized two sides They put in work for this They colored this in, $14 They paid for it Colorized two sides They put in work for this They colored this in 14 bucks That's you know They paid for it 10 Crisp

$2 bills $30 Rip off Don't do that You can literally just get $2 bills You don't even have to like I don't know 25

$2 bills $70 No you can literally just Get $2 bills I think you're just missing out. I feel like it's a ripoff. It is. I feel like you shouldn't do that.

Look at this. This guy's selling a $2 uncirculated $2 bill star note. $12.50. He sold 15 of them. 15 of them. This guy, a lot of new uncirculated dollar bills $2 bills 1976 to 2017 That makes sense

Yeah Although that's for That makes sense Although, oh no, never mind So really he's not giving you He's only giving you five Of the ones he has From 1976 to 20

That's still a rip off Paying 20 bucks for five bills Nah you're dumb Take that money and not buy that This guy sold two dollar bills Uncirculated US mint condition For four dollars

I'd be sneaky I'd sell two dollar bills for $2 with $8 shipping. I'd be like, yeah, no, it's only $2. $8 shipping and handling. I mean, this dude's made, he sold 484 of these. I hate, I hate that people are like, well, I've never seen these. So yeah, that's that one.

All right, second story. The other one. Mystery animal sighting in Krakow ends up being a croissant. Okay, yes. When animal welfare workers In the Polish city of Krakow Are called out to a sighting of an unusual

Animal squatting in a residential area Their initial reaction was This must be a late April fool's joke Whoa, whoa, whoa Squatting how? Wait, what? Just like chilling out on a stoop? I guess Probably what the woman said There's an animal squat There's an animal on a stoop? I guess.

It's probably what the woman said. There's an animal squad. There's an animal on a stoop. Okay, sure. A woman with desperation in her voice called them to say the creature had been sitting in a tree across the road for two days. Everyone is scared of him, she told the authority, begging them to come and investigate.

People aren't opening their windows because they're afraid it'll go into their house, she added. It's been there for two days and everyone's like, this thing is just waiting. It's just waiting for someone to crack everyone's like This thing is just waiting It's just waiting for someone to crack a window That it's gonna get you You'd think somebody would just go up to it and go

Oh it's a croissant You're totally right Someone would do that But they're saying no one did Turns out it was a croissant This is not a description Of an April Fool's joke. Such a report really came to us, they wrote.

In a lighthearted account of events, the officer who calls himself Inspector Adam describes how the caller insisted the animal was not a large bird, going on to suggest it could be an iguana. Years of inspection have taught me that there are people willing to get rid of any animal that causes trouble, he wrote, explaining his decision to pay a visit to the scene. Maybe someone threw out an iguana, he mused. I wonder how this creature feels after two nights at minus temperatures. Maybe he's sitting in that tree and not moving because he died.

When the officer's colleague went to the Krakow estate to find more, His colleague went to the Krakow state to find more. After short research, they spotted brown creature sitting on a lilac branch with its brown coat shining in the sun. Poor guy had no legs or head, Adam lamented. He said the pair were almost swept off their feet by a laughing attack when they realized it was in fact a croissant. That's even better. And because someone just tossed a croissant. That's even better end because someone just tossed a croissant up there. Which is a whole other story.

Some guy's like, there's croissant toss. How'd it get up there? Why'd it get up there? That's a better story. Yeah, I don't know how it got up there then. Did someone just plant it up there? Like, dude, that lady's crazy. She always thinks there's animals outside.

That's what I'm saying. Like, are they out there purposefully torturing her? Like, she always thinks there's animals outside. Let's stick a croissant up here. The authority's jokey post was followed with a more serious message in which they advised the public to always report animal sightings if they're concerned about it, if they're in in doubt it's better to check and be pleasantly disappointed sometimes unfortunately very rarely the laugh then not react which can sometimes lead to a tragedy

they wrote i guess maybe they're saying that don't think it's a croissant because it could be something that's going to kill you like not every animal every animal is a croissant. Yeah, I guess. Even if it was an iguana, like, what's it going to do? Yeah, like, what's the iguana going to do? Exactly. Poisonous iguanas. It jumped on my face and scarred me. Yeah, so, I mean. You know we're going to get a message from someone that's like, I was actually attacked by an iguana.

Oh, yeah. There's always somebody. I great yeah I mean iguana the iguanas attack humans iguanas do bite people but only in self-defense I mean all right we're gonna get a message like I was abusing an iguana it bit me that's like anything you guys shouldn't joke I mean what doesn right. We're going to get a message like, I was abusing an iguana. That's like anything. You guys shouldn't joke. I mean, what doesn't do anything in self-defense? Like a cat, a dog, an iguana, a shark, like a skunk, a beaver. Like anything's going to be like, oh, hello, random stranger.

It's going to attack you. Yeah. And usually it's because peoplepreservation like let me it's like walk up and like reach their hand and it's like how long that's like the guy that ruined monkey mondays exactly it all comes back to monkey mondays it all comes back to monkey mondays idiots be like purposefully testing because you know what the problem is? Disney made everyone think animals are like, why hello there. I have human emotions.

Animals don't think like that. They're just wild animals. You walk up to an animal like, oh hey, I'm going to stick out my hand. It's going to be like, this guy's trying to attack me. It's not going to be like, why hello friend shape. That's not going to be like, why hello, friend shape. That's not going to happen.

Like, dude, it's a wild monkey. Even if, like, somebody's trained it, it's still a wild monkey. It's still going to be like, and now we can't go out to eat with monkeys because of this. That's the worst. So anyway, that's the story. All right all right well that's it for us thanks so much for tuning in listening watching however you're enjoying this podcast grendor hit him with the socials we've got socials go to youtube.com slash cox and grendor podcast listen to all the podcasts over there give us a thumbs up a subscribe subscribe, a like, a share, whatever.

Also, cut off the podcast part. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor if you want to see all the animations. Very funny stuff. Also, we're on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud, and various other things. Also, check out our other stuff. We got YouTube.com slash Crandor. Twitter that other stuff. YouTube.com slash Crendor. Twitter.com, Jessica Cox, Twitter, Crendor, Twitch.tv, Jessica Cox, Twitch.tv slash Crendor. YouTube.com, Warhammer, Crendor, YouTube.com, Goodnight Crendor, Instagram, Notorious Cox,

Instagram, Crendor's Taken. That's all of it. All right. That's it. We'll see you all next time.. All right, that's it. We'll see you all next time. And as always, to be continued.