Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 287 - T U R T L E Power

Episode Date: May 3, 2021

The boys are back, and this week Jesse returns from his trip on the road with plenty of stories to tell of life in the desert. Also Crendor has his own stories, and their exactly the kind of Crendor stories you'd expect. And then we talk about feet and a turtle out to seek vengeance on drivers. So your average episode. Visit http://joinhoney.com/cox to get Honey for free.

Today's episode is brought to you by Honey. Honey's going to save you money online with some awesome technology. Awesome technology? Is that how you describe it? That's what it is. We'll talk about that later. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio. Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Crendon in the morning! Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Cax and Crendon in the morning! Whoa, you revved up like a Kawasaki.

Yeah, you were trying to outrun the Yakuza or something. I don't know what was going on there. I don't think you should do sound effects. I don't know, I do sound effects I don't know I think I should I don't know were you charging up like your Iron Man suit what was that noise your slide whistle

Iron Man online no that's not how Iron Man sounds or talks I bet you every time Iron Man used his suit, it had to power up and be like, Iron Man online. He's like, God, I wish I didn't put that in there. That would be the lamest. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, villains. Wait.

He steps in the suit and it's like, Iron Man online. They're like, oh, boy. Oh, no. This guy again So yeah, how was your week? My week? Good I took time off last week We did our podcast early

Oh yeah You drove to the old The old country The old country The Pacific Southwest Is that what it's called? Southwest America is where I were.

That's right. Where I were, tell you what. I'm already sounding like I went to the South. That's where I were. Someone's going to write in and be like, that's actually the correct English. That's not true.

That is correct English, I tell you what. Tell you what, where I work. But yeah, I went for a wedding and it was great and I decided that instead of flying, because I'm like still kind of iffy on flying at the moment,

so I decided I'd drive and I'd take some time to not look at the internet, to not do do anything just to like Chill out I had a blast I spent one day driving out of LA Which is in itself a whole thing I was in the middle of the high desert

And there was still traffic There was no life around me Except on the lanes and the road There were so many people Couldn't explain why that was i just i even texted someone at the time like this is so dumb i don't understand why this is but eventually i got out of la and ended up in the middle of nowhere and uh the road was so flat and so straight that at one point in time i wasn't paying attention to my driving and i looked down i was going like 105 and i was like oh my uh yeah apparently

you can't tell how fast you're going when you're in the open desert and there's no one around you but um yeah i ended up going uh to you know hang out at a wedding for uh two days and then i came home and on the way home i decided to take some time and get lost in arizona and uh because it's like you know close to la but not and there's a lot of weird stuff in arizona and weird people and i was like i want to see all of it i want to see all of it so first off along the way there are signs i'm going to say every 10 miles, that are like, see the thing. What is the thing? Go see the thing. And I was like, I got to see the thing.

I don't know what this is, but I got to go see it. And it's like a museum, kind of? A museum of weird stuff. And, of course, the thing, I could not tell you what it is. It is either a piece of stone or an alien. It's that kind of thing. Where I'm like I don't know what I'm looking at right now. I have no idea what this is.

It's either a stone or a spaceman. Couldn't tell you. And then they had other weird stuff there. But it was like alright. I went around and spent a lot of time. Just like checking out weird little places Like everyone was like, oh, you got to go to Tucson I was like, what the hell's in Tucson?

They're like, I don't know, check it out And I was like, okay So I got a sub at a place called EG's, Edgy's, something like that It was alright And I stayed at a hotel that everyone was like, five star hotel It was literally like a comfort suites or something It was like, you know, a roadside hotel But I was like, five stars, dude This hotel is the best I was like, I'll hotel it was literally like a comfort suites or something it was like you know a roadside hotel but i was like five stars dude this hotel is the best i was like i'll stay there for the night so i roll up to the hotel it's dark and i'm like hmm this area seems kind of empty

again i forget that i'm in the desert so it's dark like it's dark pull up to the hotel it the hotel's packed by the way Cars in every spot I was like oh this must be the spot to stop So I pull in everything's good I go to the counter I'm like Hey I haven't had dinner yet Like what's there to eat around here And the guy looks at me and he's like

There's the convenience mart next door I'm like what He's like there's not much to eat around here And I was like there's gotta be something. So I went to my Yelp app and it literally for miles was nothing. I was like, why is there a hotel in the middle of nowhere

with just one gas station next to it and nothing else and it's rated five stars? I was like, I need to know what's happening in this hotel. Where is it? Tucson? Yes, this is in Tucson.son it's like uh it's either directly north or directly south of tucson i can't remember where it's like the university area there was nothing i took i took a video and it's me moving my camera around and there's this crowded

parking lot of cars and then i turn and it's all pitch black like this it's just desert as far as you can see it i was like this is one of the craziest things i've ever seen oh yeah it was wild i was like oh all right i guess this is what desert living's like meanwhile going back towards california the closer i get to california the more i see signs that are like stop by blithe california and i was like what the hell i've never heardlythe, California. And I was like, what the hell? I've never heard of Blythe before. And every sign was like, you're going to want to stop there. And I realized the closer I got, what they were saying was like, weed's legal in California.

And if you live in Arizona, you definitely, wink, can come to Blythe. We wink. I probably have something there for you, wink. And that's every sign was that along the way. And then I get that drive through blind. Then I was like, there are like six houses here. I bet all six houses are selling weed. I was like, I can't believe this place.

You know, it was just like a fun getaway. I spent a lot of time just not even looking at the internet. It was great. Driving around was fun. I did get harassed by a redneck, and it was great. I stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, and there was a man in a van yelling at people. Uh-oh. That's never good, a man in a van.

Oh, yeah. A man in a van is yelling, and he was like, take your mask off. What are you, queer? And everyone's trying to get gas, and he's just like take it off take your mask off and everyone's just ignoring him but he's still going like no one's interacting with him no one's fighting him no one's like trying to be like shut up dude he's just going off and so here's what i'll say weird gas station experience great gas station it was that kind of gas station that's so in the middle of nowhere that all the candies they have are like old-timey Joe's sweet treats.

And so I got some cherry licorice that was like made from scratch. I was like, I don't know how that works. Made out of cactus and desert scratch. Yes, yes. It was like old sweet tooth licorice. I was like, I need this stuff. And so I bought some and I was like munching on it whileice. I was like, I need this stuff. And so I bought some and I was like munching on it while driving. I was like, this shit's good.

I was like, I need to find me old sweet tooth or whatever it's called. Yeah, I mean, I had a great time. I would stop every so often and check out like different sites and things along the way. At one point it was take exit five. I think it was Exit 5. It doesn't matter. Take Exit 5. Look at me trying to accurately depict. It doesn't even matter. It was like, Take Exit 5 to see the best cliff

in Arizona. I was like, I gotta see the best cliff. It was a cliff. Is it the best? I have no judgments there. It definitely was a cliff. Did you see other cliffs? Cliff. Clives? Cliff-I. What do you mean Cliff-I? Yeah, of course, Cliff-I. judgments there it definitely was a cliff did you see other cliffs cliff clives cliff eye what yeah of course cliff eye uh yeah it was like a fun trip and then i came back and uh for about a day and a half i felt great and then i decided to like see what was going on the internet and immediately

was like why jesse Why'd you do this? However, I'm starting to feel justified The other day I saw a YouTuber that I really respect And like a lot and does a lot of work And he's very very funny And very popular And he tweeted basically like If I didn't have to

Do this for work I wouldn't be on social media And I was like Yes another one of me. Yes, you understand. I know it's even a lot of people that I've followed have alt accounts now. They use their main account for just being like, hey, guys, here's an ad. Here's a thing I'm doing. And then they use their alt account to be like God I just hate everything

Oh I don't even I don't want to even do that I would rather If there was some way That I could communicate with people And then not actually have to like See what my peers are doing Oh I agree

That's such a weird thing to say But like if I could communicate to fans Without also being constantly inundated And bombarded with how well everyone else is doing, I just don't want to know. I don't want to know that you got your 12th brand deal for $8 million. I just don't want to know. I don't want to know. Now I'm judging myself based on you, and now I'm feeling terrible. I don't want to know that stuff.

You do you. Stop bragging. Stop bragging to me. At least when you see me tweet, you know you're not going better i don't know sometimes i'm like man crendor's having the best day ever yeah it might be but usually that's because i'm doing something extremely simplistic yeah like hey i'm gonna be i'm painting this guy and it's fun Or like hey I read a book I did read a book actually What book did you read? I finished Warbreaker

By Brandon Sanderson Okay so you're still on Brandon Sanderson You're still on that kick I see Yeah so it was about 650 pages Good job And I read it And I loved it and the last 100 pages i read in like a day like it hit the point where i'm like i gotta read it i gotta know what happens i uh yeah i i love that

i love when a book does that where you're like i gotta see how this ends yeah yeah so because there he has this big series called like the way of kings or it's like the stormlight trilogy so it's like his big uh or not trilogy but his like epic fantasy thing so I was like before I start reading this like thousand page book I'm gonna read something else of his to see if I actually like you know his books and after

reading that now I'm like now I gotta read it so now I've been reading the way of kings and uh it's a pretty crazy start but I'm like, all right. And then I just read. I usually read a little bit every day. I think that's a good plan

is to read a little bit every day. I, unfortunately, am now all about audiobooks because when I'm in the car, I just listen. If I'm not with people, I'll just put on a book. And so the entire... Here's what I'll say.

Being a Star Wars fan sucks. It is... I don't know how... It feels like everything is written by a committee it's just one of those things you're in it you're feeling the book you like where it's going and then something happens where you're just like that was a note that was clearly a note someone said you should include this because that's so dumb i don't know why it's in this book but someone was like you know we need to include that because it's part of the movies. And you're like, oh, that's what it's like.

It sucks. But I'm enjoying it. I just, I'm not a big audiobook person. Really? You don't? I, like, if you find a great, I was about to say voiceover, but I guess reader, narrator, if you find a great one of those, dude, like, you know, Mark Thompson is the guy who reads a lot of the Star Wars books,

and his voices, a lot of them are, like, so on point. Some of them are way off, you know, especially the women, obviously. But some of the voices, like, even Darth Vader is kind of like a dorky Darth Vader it's just like a really deep voice like yeah dude we should totally go do that did I do that but like

the octaves lowered did I do that did I do that yeah it's alright I mean like I have other books I'm trying to get through

But I have this backlog Of Star Wars books That I was like I gotta I gotta finally get through these And you know Sometimes they're great And sometimes you're like

Who Who told you to write this I know you're a great author Who told you Someone in a boardroom Told you to write this So that's That's where i'm

at i just the i like i'm like the type of person where i'm like i want a paper book and i'll sit down i'm gonna read to just like chill out and then that's that's it well that's also i think because you have free time not driving like if i go anywhere in the city i'm there for an hour i'm in for an hour, so I might as well listen to an audiobook. Yeah, that's fair. I mean, if you're like driving or in the car, I get it. Yeah. I don't listen to audiobooks like in my home.

I would just rather read, but I don't have the time, so that's that. Well, as somebody who's also trying to write, I was like, you know what? It would probably make sense if I read more. Because, like, you know, you get better at writing by reading. What are you trying to write?

Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought about this years ago. Yeah, but you did, and then you stopped. So what are you trying to do? Because I was like, oh, this isn't good. I got to improve. Okay.

So you were like, my story my story sucked but now here's the thing i think people would have liked the suck the thing is like i know they would have liked the suck but i don't want i don't just want to release some suck like i want to release something where i'm like all right this is pretty good it doesn't have to be amazing doesn't have to be great but it's got to be like pretty good in my mind and i want to have an rpg like you're gonna make an rpg that would have been sucky fun i mean i still got it i stopped working on it's in a file from like six years ago sure of course that's my big thing that's like my big other goal is just i want to write a book and i want to be good and that's why uh and i don't even want like a trilogy

yet like maybe i'd write once i'd actually get into writing or something, I'd write that. I just want one good fantasy standalone book that kind of lets me create something. It's like world building and characterization and characters and everything. What's your vibe? Are you going to have fantasy? Yes. Fantasy book. All right.

Oh, time out. Time out. All right. Let's workshop this. What is your main character in your fantasy story? Who is it? I don't know yet. You have to have something. Come on.

That's part of my problem. I'm like, I need to develop characters. Okay, here's the problem I had. I was making my story, and then I was trying to randomly create characters on the fly to throw into that story. And then after I read this book, I was like like i think i'd be better off just making characters and then putting them into the story and then like having a world built around them well what i mean like so what you need to do and i don't want to tell you how to do stuff but i'm gonna what you need to do what you need to do is you need to before you do any of that stuff you need to come up with

these characters and then like you said put them in this world but like you know when when you make a main character you need to think about like not only who the person is right but what stage of their life they're in like what's happening to them and then what their like major flaw is right because every character has a major flaw and then like what's redeemable about them and then what their like major flaw is, right? Because every character has a major flaw. And then like what's redeemable about them and then sort of like their goal, but then, you know, what they need, right? So like the goal is like, I want to be rich.

But what they really need is to like accept happiness isn't wealth, it's friendship. Like that kind of shit, right? It's about creating like balance. So it's like, you know, you might have a guy that's like, he's the best creating like balance so it's like uh you know you might have a guy that's like it was the best warrior ever like he's the he's really good but then he just lacks motivation to like fight so he needs motivation to fight and then when he does he's like really good but then he's like god i don't care i just like i mean like at the end of the

day story writing is really easy it just takes a lot of work but like i mean the basic gist is you need the main character, the dynamic catalyst, right? The person who comes along to change the main character and then the antagonist. And that's like, I mean, that's pretty much it. There's like, so the best example ever is Shrek, right? Shrek is, he wants to live in a swamp, do his thing. The dynamic catalyst donkey comes along And sends Shrek on an adventure

To get all the people out of his swamp And then the antagonist Is John Lithgow You know Being evil And that's like it That kind of vibe If there was a Jesse Cox show

I'm sure it would be like Jesse Cox wants to make a billion dollars on twitch and the dynamic catalyst is crendor who's like it's okay to like take time for yourself dude and then through our comedy of errors i in the end learn to take time for myself the end yeah easy exactly no i get it it's uh i've got all that down my biggest problem was i was doing all that and then i was like man i need to like read more books to learn writing styles and my writing style and writing and then uh oh you're talking about what i've been doing like syntax grammar and shit the thing is like i got like the part of like world building and

characterization the hardest part of world building is just like, do they live in this city? And I'm like, I got to research castles and shit and what they did. A lot of it's just researching how things were. And then you could be like, well, it doesn't even have to be accurate. I could create my own place they live, whatever. So it's a lot of that. But then a lot of it's just writing. I noticed when I was writing before, I did a lot of just dialogue and not a lot of that but then yeah a lot of it's just writing like i noticed when i was writing before i did a lot of just dialogue and not a lot of describing stuff and not like you know show don't

tell or whatever but just you know how there's like paragraphs of just like they did not understand what they were talking about this was the time and like what i didn't do any of that i was just like they said this the day to date you need to read more erotica erotica has to describe things that you know they can't say what they're doing so erotica they have to do it

in a way that's like her moist quiver mounds in the moonlight her moist quiver mounds in the moonlight. I don't know. Or moist quiver mounds in the moonlight.

That's what I came up with. That's what came to my head. So really your advice is to watch Shrek and read Erotica. Possibly both. If you can do both at the same time that's great multitasking somebody was yeah that'd be great let's just open a word document like all right somebody

once told me her moist quiver mounds in the moonlight okay we got the first part done first paragraph's almost done we got it it. I guarantee if I wrote a book and that was all that was in it, people would still probably buy it just for the meme. People would. If you made a book called Moist Mounds Quiver in Moonlight

and just sold it, I think people would buy that book. I know I would. I'd be your first sale. Yeah. So... Moist mouth. What a terrible, terrible phrase.

What a completely awful phrase. Also, Jesus. I love plot twists. Oh my God, the Warbreaker, Brandon Sanderson. It's got some spicy plot twists. Apparently Brandon Sanderson just loves his plot twists. I love that about him.

It's like so many things and you're reading the book, and you're like, I can't wait for this to happen. And then it flips you upside down. You're just like, what the shit? It's great. So I love me some good plot twists. Well, a good plot twist requires a good setup. So you've got to learn how to write good setups. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm doing. All right. It's all about I'm doing. All right. All right. It's all about learning. Progress. All right. And then just actually doing it. Sure.

So let me tell you about some other fun stuff that happened this week. Okay. I got an endoscopy. Oh, boy. That sounds so good. Actually, you know what? It's not bad. The hard one is the colonoscopy because you've got to drink that stuff and then you shit yourself for a day.

That's awful. Yeah, but the endoscopy, you just don't eat after midnight. And then you show up and then they're like, did you eat anything? And you're like, no. And then they're like, all right. And then they give you IV. And then they're like, all right, here we go. And then they give you IV and they're like alright here we go and then they wheel you in and the anesthesiologist

came in and he was like hey he was literally this like 60 year old Italian man with like rings and a necklace he's like hey you need to know anything about you got any questions I'm like nah I've had this before like 5 years ago and he's like alright sweet

he like walked away and uh that was it ago and he's like all right sweet he like walked away and uh that was it huh yeah all right and i was like all right and then i got wheeled in uh and then they're like all right we're getting you ready and then you lay on your side and they put a thing in your mouth so you don't bite yourself uh bite your tongue when you're asleep and uh the gastro dude's there and he's like yo we're gonna check out your stomach and your small intestine. And I'm like, alright, sweet. And then before you know it, you're just waking up.

Alright, question. Question. Did you have pain afterwards? Did it feel weird? No. I had... I felt fine and then I streamed for like four hours. And then my throat was kind of sore, but that was more...

It probably wouldn't have been sore if I didn't have that done, but I think I just irritated a bit, and then the next day I was fine. So it was like nothing. All right. Okay. And so it's easy. Then you just wake up, and they're like, here's some juice and crackers, and you're like, nom, nom, nom.

You did such a good job here's juice and quack and then uh the gastro dude comes in and he's like yo we looked around and uh you look you look good in there except you got a small hiatal hernia is that what he said about you yeah what. What does that mean? What's a hiatal hernia? What's a hiatal hernia? There's multiple types of hiatal hernias. Some are more severe than others, but the one I had is like a sliding hiatal hernia, and it's like really small, so they said it's like nothing to worry about. What does that mean?

You can have surgery. So it's when your stomach pushes up through your diaphragm. Okay. So it's when your stomach pushes up through your diaphragm Okay And apparently Once you hit 50 years old Like more than half the people that are over 50 Have one at least I don't even know how that would happen

Yeah How does that happen? How does that occur? I've never Is it because you're like I honestly don't know you like squeeze your body so tight it like pushes stomach it could just be like posture it could be age muscles go weaker i mean it'd be a lot of things there you go if you take a look at that one oh boy you're

making me look at this i'm about to grossed out uh so you can see you got the normal stuff, and then hiatal hernia, you got a little bit of like bloops. Your stomach kind of pushes its way up past your diaphragm. How does that work, though? So like it's not, it's still your diaphragm, but it's like your stomach too, your stomach acid? Well, it's kind of like your diaphragm muscles might just be weak. Oh, I see. Yeah, no, I get it.

I get it. Yeah, so it like your diaphragm. I see that. Oh, that's so weird. Yeah. Yeah, because it like pushes. So then your sphincter gets pushed up too. Yeah.

So it's. But not your butt sphincter. Your esophagus sphincter. You got a lot of sphincters in your body, everybody. Got a lot of sphincters. So many sphincters. So he was just like yeah i mean pretty much if you like they don't really cause symptoms that much some people it

can cause more like acid reflux or gird or whatever and then you just take your heartburn meds but like the only way they can fix it's like surgery and they only do that if it's like really bad and like you need to get it corrected so i literally got out and then my mom was like i have a hiatal hernia i was like ah neat and she's like and i think she's like and i think your grandma has a hiatal hernia and i was like fantastic awesome so here's you're on the path to living to 95 and in total pain that's what i said That's what it's all about. We just got, you know, a long life of pain. It's in your family. Every day is torture.

I don't got ulcers. I don't got gastritis. So I'm like, that's good. So then the last couple days I've had coffee. I felt all right. Had my first glass of wine last night in three weeks. That was nice. I'm worried you're going to overdo it again.

Or you're like, I'm fine. And I'm worried you're going to overdo it again. Or you're like, I'm fine. And then next week you're going to be like, I made a mistake. I'm not eating any more Chipotle. Good. Smart choice. I'll tell you that much.

Yeah. And so, I mean, that's that. They're just like, yeah. So I'm happy it's nothing crazy. Well,, yeah. So I'm happy it's nothing crazy. Well, that's good. I'm happy it's nothing crazy, too. They say you can help a hiatal hernia. You can work at exercising.

Apparently, if you're overweight, you're also at a higher risk of hiatal hernias. Why you got to do me like that, man? Why you got to be like, oh, you are at risk too, cocks. I'm just saying, I'm not even overweight like that one. I'm just over here like trying to live my life and not get hernias and you're like, by the way, you could have that too. Thanks, buddy. Thanks.

I'm just saying, I'm the lucky one to roll the dice. I'm not even overweight like that one. It's important to know that you worry about chain however if you're experiencing reflux due to hernia high intensity exercise makes aspirate baits but they bait bait systems uh and then it says you can use stretches and exercise to treat symptoms such as diaphragmatic for diaphragmatic breathing. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that's interesting. That's one of the things that when I was in, by the way, this tells you what kind of scam theater classes are in college. One of my theater classes was actually about learning to breathe. Huh. So it's like yoga. Yeah. So we'd go to class And we'd just be like

And we'd just stretch and breathe And it was about learning to breathe From like In order to I guess for singing Or for Like most people breathe In the upper part of their chest

And they take like Like shallow breaths And They're like No no no you idiots You're using like One shallow breaths, and they're like, no, no, no, you idiots. You're using, like, one-third of your lungs. You got to, like, breathe, like, so you feel it in your chest. Like, got to get down in it.

Oh, yeah. Get down with the breath. Yeah, you got to, like, feel your lungs expand in your chest. So that's what we do, and they're like, now your blood's oxidated. And I was like, great. Ready. Ready. And so, yeah I'd leave that class all jacked up because we just spent an hour just being like and then I'd be like

I'm ready and then you know I'd kill that off through the course of the day but you know at the time I could have done anything but they were like no go to your science class now and I'm like cool yeah I mean it's I could have done anything. But they were like, no, go to your science class now. I'm like, cool. Yeah, I mean, it's, oh, here it is.

They said it is estimated that 60% of adults have hiatal hernias by age 60. I guess that explains all the, like, I'm old and I have acid reflux. Yeah, pretty much. And then they say the diaphragmatic breathing helps because you're strengthening the diaphragm, so it's stronger, so it will be like, stomach, you're not coming up out of there. And it's like, oh, jeez. You better stop it, stomach. And I guess that's the main thing.

So maybe I just got to practice my breathing, I I guess I feel like that's what you need to do Is just practice your breathing It'll relax you It'll relax you It'll relax you yeah if you're trying to prevent Yourself from becoming Crandor Practice your breathing And then the other thing I've been doing

Is playing Pokemon Snap I saw everyone's playing that right now. It's so good. It's my favorite game so far this year. What do you mean it's your favorite? Like, how? Describe it. Ah, okay. So, it's, uh, if you don't know what Pokemon Snap is, you hop in a little cart

and it's kind of like you're on a rail. It's an on-rails shooter, but without murder. Yes. So, instead of murdering on a rail you're taking pictures so you see like pokemon they jump out and you're like and you try to get the best picture you can of all the pokemons and you got like it takes into account size uh the position the like what they're doing like all these different factors into the picture and your goal is to just take the best picture and there's like one two three and four stars of each pokemon and each one of those stars is a

different uh like thing that they can do so like if you throw an apple for the pokemon to eat maybe it starts eating it and that's like a two star and then maybe if you hit it with the apple it freaks out and flies away and then that's like a three star picture maybe the fourth is like you get to a new level and the the pokemon's doing some crazy shit like dancing around all right you gotta like abuse the crap out of this pokemon to get a great picture even they're like don't worry the the pokemon fruit doesn't hurt it and i'm like i don't know i threw it and it went oh they love it it sounded like fans when you assault them you know know, they're like, don't worry, it doesn't hurt the Pokemon. But again, I threw it at one and it went, ugh. That doesn't sound like it did hurt it.

It was like a Pikachu went, ugh. He lit a cigarette and he's like, Jesus, not again. Ah, this is bullshit. And so, I don't know. It's fun because every level's got replayability, too. Because you'll go through the level. It takes like five minutes. And then you're like, oh, I missed the dude that jumped into the water.

So then you go to get a picture of the guy jumping into the water. But then this time, you miss something else. You're like, oh, my God, there's something over there I've got to get a picture of. And then you see something fly by. And you're like, all right, I know at this point something's going to fly by. So you've got to be ready and get a picture of that. And then you're like, you're like all right i know at this point something's gonna fly by so you gotta be ready to get a picture of that and then you're like all right and then you move on to the next world and it's just oh my god it's so much and i love it there's so many different worlds and different things it's like a 100 crendor game

i believe that i've watched i've watched people play and i'm curious how you go through photos Because I've watched people who are Really I guess anal Is the right word They're like this photo is Not good enough I'm going to need to go Get another and you're like That's a pretty good photo

Are your photos just goofy photos how do you photo Oh I just I keep snapping I'm like that's pretty good And I'm like whoa that one's pretty good And then when I keep snapping. I'm like, yeah, that's pretty good. And I'm like, whoa, that one's pretty good. And then when I look at them, I'm like, all right, throw that one in. That one's pretty good. Throw that one in. That one, eh, it's okay.

Throw it in anyway. And I just wing it and hope for the best. So essentially, like, my life. That's how I've gotten at this point, really. Yeah, wing it, hope for the best. It's a good strategy. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, so, it's my game of the year.

Probably until Mario Golf comes out. That'll probably be my game of the year. I'm loving it. Pokemon Snap, recommend. Sam, oh my god, of all people, I was like, dude, I bet Sam's going to have fun playing. He's like, I'm not playing Pokemon Snap. I'm like, Sam, you play Pokemon randomizer shit all the time.

Why are you not playing? He's like, Gabe, you don't do anything in. I'm like, you just played the island where you sit around as a dinosaur doing nothing. You can't say, Gabe, don't do anything in. When you're doing more action, taking pictures of Pokemon, than you are sitting on an island with dinosaurs where occasionally you try to bite one. That is, you just described being a dinosaur in its entirety You sit around as a dinosaur occasionally try to bite one as I'm saying or like survival games where all I does like mine

Shit, and then chop some wood and it's like Producing a thing like he because he built a house. It's it's he did a thing. thing. I'm producing a photo album. Same shit. And I'm having more fun doing it. There you go. I highly recommend Pokemon Snap. Highly recommend. All right.

It's out. It's out now. Pokemon Snap, out now. Hey, Crandor, maybe you can get a deal on Pokemon Snap. Oh, maybe I could. How would I do that? Hey, thank you. Hey, Crendor, maybe you can get a deal on Pokemon Snap. Oh, maybe I could. How would I do that? Hey, thank you. You can get it with Honey!

That's right. We all shop online. And sometimes you might want to be shopping for Pokemon Snap. And maybe, just maybe, you find it. And you see a promo code field at checkout. It's taunting you because you have no promos to use. Well, thanks to Honey, you can now search for codes and get yourself that discount on whatever it is you're trying to buy because Honey supports over 30,000 stores that range

from tech and gaming products to popular fashion brands to even food delivery. It's a free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one to your cart that it finds. How it works is simple. Imagine you're going to go look for Pokemon Snap. You go to an online store, like one of the big box stores, right? You go in, you're like, I would like a physical copy of Pokemon Snap. And when you get to checkout, the honey button will drop down and it will be like, Apply Coupons, and all you gotta do is click it, and a few seconds later, it'll find the best

coupon for you for that purchase for that site. If Honey finds a working coupon, bing, drops it right in, price goes down. That simple. I use it all the time. that simple uh i use it all the time i've discovered that it works really well on uh purchases of like little techie office things that i need every once in a while when i try to go online and buy things uh it does a great job helping with that because sometimes you know we are putting up lights in the office right now and so i bought some lights online some like lighting kits and hanging thing it's a pain in the butt needless to say it wasn't as expensive as it could have been

because i got money taken off with honey uh i'm trying to think how much well i think it was like 60 70 bucks was taken off which is pretty good yeah uh anyway join me and over 17 million members who have saved over $2 billion in savings. That's so much money. If you don't already have Honey, you could be missing out on these savings too. It's literally free. Installs in a few seconds. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid in supporting this podcast. I love it.

I use it. You should use it to get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash cox. That's joinhoney.com slash cox. Alright, Crandall, let's go chop the cox up in the sky. Crandall, how's the traffic out there? Hey, look at

that. You didn't mess it up this time and go this is the chop the cox up in the cox. It's a good job. Thanks. Also, it looks like This is a chop that got bop-biddy-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop that's a desert. That's crazy. And some people flying over not desert and they're like, wow, that's not a desert. That's crazy. It just depends if you're over a desert or not. And some people flying over desserts and they're like, ooh, chocolate.

And that was kind of a mediocre joke but I thought it was good in the moment. That's what this podcast is, a mediocre joke. I get it. Yeah, back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go go to Quindor at the weather desk how's that weather sounds like Iron Man's charging up again let's see anybody recommend something in the weather comments let's see. Anybody recommend something in the weather comments?

Let's see. YouTube comments. We've got, how about a weather forecast for Wellington, New Zealand? We have a giant hand with a face standing on our city gallery. Okay. Wellington, wow. Giant hand with a face. I typed in Wellington, New Zealand, and the first picture is beautiful,

and I'm, like, real pissed off about it. I'm, like, New Zealand, and the first picture is beautiful, and I'm like real pissed off about it. I'm like real upset. It looks gorgeous. Like, what a beautiful looking city. Oh, I'm so mad. Ugh, I hate them. I went to click on the weather thing, and it's like Walmart customers dive for cover as hail punctures skylights.

It's like, alright. Wellington, New Zealand. Currently, you got 59 degrees, fair skies percent chance of rain that's pretty low uh it's gonna be 58 is what it feels like high 61 low 53 humidity 77 pressure 30.36 inches visibility six miles wind going south at eight miles per hour visibility six miles wind going south at eight miles per hour dew point 52 uv index to a 10 and a waning gibbous moon hitting up the old 10 day 61 62 65 65 65 all with sunny or mostly sunny then saturday you got mostly cloudy and windy 64 and then the rain hits uh for the next week after that 65 65 65 63 61 61 all with some showers happening damn i i'm not saying that i'm looking at a website that is like new zealand living price of housing in in new zealand, in Wellington, I'm seeing a lot of houses for sale.

They don't list the price, which I feel like is a very New Zealand thing. Is that like a New Zealand thing where they don't tell you how much stuff costs? But this house I'm looking at, that thing is like a mansion. I'm over here just like, oh my God, hold on.

Well, New Zealand houses for sale sale what is the cost to live there i'm not saying i want to move there but i do it's so beautiful i'm like thinking about it um realestate.com come on oh it's actually it's realestate.com wait dot nz oh that's a lot for me i'm already i have to change how i view That's a lot for me I have to change how I view What the hell This house is like This house has

Six garages how much is this house Oh my god They don't even say I mean if you got six garages They're probably like checking your computer To see if you can even afford Alright so one bedroom and a newbedroom apartment in a new building is $404,000. I see.

So all right. That gives me some kind of idea of what's going on. So there are expensive places. All right. All right. All right. So they're just as bad. Housing prices are just as awful

One bedroom apartment, $404,000? That's bonkers Although I do know people who Bought a one bedroom for a million And that's even worse I don't know what's going on there Yeah, I don't know what's going on in there That's too much That's way too much

Well, I will say Wellington, New Zealand, you look beautiful If I could live there, I will say, Wellington, New Zealand, you look beautiful. If I could live there, I would. I also see someone else mentioned Guadalajara, Mexico, home of Tapatios. So I was like, you want to go to Guadalajara, too? I mean, I'll go. Yeah, let's go to Guadalajara, too. I want to know about Tapatios.

Let's see. I love Tapatio. I do, too. Maybe that's why my stomach's bad. We got 87 in Guadalajara. Looking like 29.98 inches of pressure. You got 10-mile visibility, 22-mile-an-hour winds. A bit windy.

2.5 UV2. Moon phase waning gibbous and the 10 day looks like you're hitting up 89 89 91 all sunny nine day nine thursday nine day uh 90 friday 89 and then uh hitting the 80s with a lot of clouds. So, not too bad. But how do we see the Tapatio? Tapatio. Tapatio Tours. That's what I'm talking about. Man. Oh, yeah. Reviews. I really enjoyed my time with Tapatio Tour. Beautiful views.

Yeah, but what about Tapatios? Yeah, we don't care about that. Let's see. Tapatiotour.com.mex.mx. MapaCholoco gives it two stars and says, The longest hour and a half of my life. We wasted time seeing very little. Do not recommend the city tour.

Oh, the Tapatio tours aren't tours of Tapatios. They're just tours of the city called Tapatio tours. I guess that does make more sense. I'd rather go see. Yeah, I want them to like. Where's the Tapatio factory tour? I got it. Tapatio factory tour.

Come on. There's got to be a factory tour. Nope, there isn't. I'm trying to buy like, now this is a Tapatio I've been seeing for a long time. It is the original red Tapatio. I would love to go in the factory. You know if you go in that factory, you're going to come out smelling like

hot sauce for eight weeks. Hell yeah. You're going to be like, oh yeah. Oh hell yeah. I'm still saying, Tapatio Doritos are the best Doritos. Agreed. Hands down. 100% agreed. Hell yeah.

Yeah, they have a Tapatio 50-year anniversary hot sauce. I need to find it. Crandor, I need to find the 50-year anniversary. Oh, my God. You got to find it. There's salsa picante 50-year anniversary sauce. I need it. I need it. Salsa picante

I'm telling you What are we doing a podcast That's the weather Alright let's go to sports Sports Time NFL draft happened A lot of crazy NFL draft things

Whole bunch of rookies Getting drafted Fun time NFL Draft happened. A lot of crazy NFL Draft things. A whole bunch of rookies getting drafted. It was a fun time. Loved me some NFL Draft. I actually streamed the first round of it with all the football guys I do podcasts with. What was the most surprising draft? Most surprising draft, the Bears got a quarterback that I didn't expect to follow. They got Justin Fields out of Ohio State.

And then the Patriots essentially got their Tom Brady Jr. and Mac Jones. Kind of a douchey guy, so he's already hateable and has a similar play style. So Patriots trying to recreate Darth Vader, essentially. Nice. And then a whole bunch of Packer rumors of Aaron Rodgers wanting to leave or retire, go host Jeopardy and stuff. So that was fun. So overall, wacky weekend for the NFL.

Over in the NBA, we've got the 76ers and the Nets and the Bucks up at the top. Over in the West, you've got the Jazz, the Suns, the Nuggets, and the Clippers as the playoffs are closing in over in hockey. Playoffs also closing in over there. You got the Hurricane, the Lightning, and the Panthers atop of the Central. You got the Penguins, the Capitals, the Island islanders and the bruins up there in the east you got motorcycles zooming by you got i don't know if anyone heard it on my end but i had a motorcycle just two seconds before your motorcycle drove by that's the fastest motorcycle rider ever

that guy got from me to you in two seconds oh my god that's like light speed motorcycling That guy was like He was probably trying to find the top of Theo Factory Yeah of course The west you got the Golden Knights The Avalanche, the Wild And the north you got the Maple Leafs The Oilers and the Jets And the Canadians up there

And the Baseball again There's still a bunch of games. We'll get there eventually. Also, we had something sent in that I thought fit in the sports category. There is the League of Pigs.

I'm sorry, what? This is where pigs race, and it's all on YouTube. There you go. It's called the League of Pigs. I love this already. I love this. The League of Pigs.

They're on season four of The League of Pigs. Wow, season four, round three, race five. And you just skim through, and you can see. There's a new video every day. And you just skim through and you can see. There's a new video every day. And you can see these pigs are, they are flying. Pepper Sanchez changed the game when she shocked all the pigs and won season three.

Oh my God. I love that. The comments are amazing. No one can deny that Hoshi is a true water baby. I think they... The best part is the response is, I think in season three they mentioned Hoshi is from the coastal regions of Japan. So there you go.

There's lore and backstory, and people are really getting into it. Oh my god. Yeah, you guys watch. Look at him go. This is great. This is very cute. Yeah, I like the pig racing.

At the end, they get to eat food. Yeah. At the end, they get to eat food. It's great. You know, there's already be someone like, the pigs should not be racing. They look like they're having fun. All right.

One pig that just won that race I was looking at, look at that pig was having the time of her life. Yeah. All right, let's not have another Monkey Mondays. Yeah, this is why we can't have Monkey Mondays. Y'all ruined it for us. Yeah. That's sports.

All right, Crandall, what's our big news story of the day? Our big news story of the day is that you missed the fact of the day Yeah, alright, yeah One day, you're gonna remember Uh-huh, one day Today's fact Many feet bones don't harden until you're an adult What?

That's right Feet are a normal Is that why people's feet look all weird? Probably You know what I mean? Like, most people's feet look all weird? Probably. You know what I mean? Most people's feet are messed up. There are a lot of messed up feet. That's what I'm saying.

There's a lot of messed up feet. Feet are enormously complex parts of the body. Each foot contains 26 bones, 33 joints, and 19 muscles, which work together to allow for a huge range of motion and movements. But many of those bones remain cartilage throughout a person's childhood, slowly ossifying into bone as the years go on. According to the Ontario Society of Chiropodists, all of the bones in the foot don't completely harden until about 21 years old. I'm sorry, hold on, time out.

What was that? What was that name? The old Kyropotus. Sounds like a terrible Greek hero, right? Like, I bought this. Oh, God, I clicked it. Now they got a bunch of foot

facts. I don't know if I want to be here. Foot facts! I don't know if I want to be here. Foot facts. I don't know if I want to be here. You don't want to do foot facts. No, I don't. Foot facts. But we will do one foot fact. Foot facts.

Let's see. The Chinese tradition of the binding the feet of women lasted for 1,000 years from early 10th century until it was outlawed in 1912. There you go. There you go. Also, it's rare the two feet are exactly the same. Boom. Footbags. That's the fact of the day. That's lovely. That's so lovely yep all right what is our big news story today florida woman survives being hit by flying turtle

i have a lot of questions but it's also a funny headline i'm in let. Let's do this. I'm ready. Quote, I swear to God, this lady has the worst luck of anything. The woman's daughter told the 911 operator. Daytona Beach. It's not unusual for rocks and other debris to crash through a windshield and injure a driver or passenger. But a turtle?

A 71-year-old woman. But a turtle? But a turtle? 71-year-old woman riding with her daughter on Florida's Interstate 95 suffered a gashed forehead Wednesday when a turtle smashed through the windshield of their car, striking her. How? How?

I don't know. The daughter pulled over and got help from another motorist. According to 911 recording, both were surprised by what they found. There's a turtle in there, the man can be overheard saying. A turtle, the daughter exclaimed. An actual turtle? The gash drew a lot of blood,

but the woman was not seriously hurt. The turtle was likely crossing the interstate and got knocked into the air by another vehicle. I swear to God, this lady's got the worst luck of anything, daughter told the 911 operator. She tended to the injured mother. The turtle, on the other hand, had the best luck of anything. It had just a few scratches on its shell and was released back into the nearby woods. Let's just take a moment to realize that turtles are prepared to attack us at any moment.

That turtle is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got hit by another car. Yup, that's what happened. Now back to the wild I go. Hold on, look at this.

Uh, oh my God. Well, that's the thumbnail for this episode That's what I'm saying That shit's crazy I love that the turtle's just like One of these days One of these days

There won't be a windshield And I'm gonna get you That's incredible One of these days there won't be a windshield and I'm going to get you. It's all true. I'm going to get you. That's incredible. I can't believe the turtles. You know what? That says a lot about turtle shells.

That turtle is just fine. He's like, I'm good. Yeah. Oh, my God. There's other turtle shell smashes. There's one from two years ago. South Carolina man unheard after flying Turtle hurdles in the windshield

Is there a question is there an image Is it the same turtle Uh no this is a different one Are you sure I'm positive cause look at that It's a different area But I mean like couldn't it be the same turtle Just going around

Saying there are serial killers Why can't there be turtle killers I mean yeah He's out there Trying to get revenge On people You gotta watch out on the east coast for that turtle That turtle

He's out there Doing who knows what Trying to take people out You gotta watch out on the east coast for that turtle That turtle is a fuck Yeah he's out there doing who knows what Trying to take people out Yeah this guy's crazy And look at that he's just like Alright put me back in the water already Yeah he's like idiots They'll set me free like they always do

I won't rest until all cars are destroyed They killed my mother I won't rest until all cars are destroyed. They killed my mother, and now I'll destroy all the cars. Yeah, oh yeah, I know this is... He's the Batman of Turtles. This summer, Nicolas Cage is the Turtle Man. I'm gonna to kill you. Get out of my way. Hey, we still got to watch that.

We do. We still, every time you bring up Nick Cage, I'm reminded that we haven't watched that movie, and it's really disappointing me. Yeah. One of these days. One of these days. We need to get on it. We need to get on it. We need to get on it.

All right. Well, speaking of get on it, let's get on the end of this show. There you go. That's terrible. Crendor, hit them with the socials. Social time. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. Watch all the podcast episodes over there.

Also, give us a weather recommendation or comment about whatever. Also, give us a weather recommendation or comment about whatever. Also, you can go to YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. All the animations over there. I think a new animation is going to be coming out soon. Pretty sure it's soon. I've seen Dan working on it for months. Also, you can go to all the other places.

SoundCloud, iTunes, Spotify. We're all over there. Just look up Cox and Crandor. We're all over there. We're all over there. Also, check out, uh, our own stuff. We got YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Crandor.

Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox. Twitch.tv slash Crandor. Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox. Facebook.com slash Crandor. Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitter.com slash Crandor. Facebook.com, Jesse Cox. Facebook.com slash Crendor. Twitter.com, Jesse Cox. Twitter.com slash Crendor. Instagram.com, Notorious Cox. Instagram.com, Crendor was taken.

And my Warhammer channel, Warhammer Crendor. Okay, that's it for us. Thanks, everybody. We'll see you all next time. And as always, to be continued