Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 298 - Crendor Thoughts

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

The boys are back with another episode and this time Jesse is wondering why everyone thinks he's so threatening?! Or is it too nice? It's gotta be one of the two right?! Meanwhile Crendor goes back to the Renn Faire and realizing you're in a dream. All this, and Nic Cage's most recent marriage on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://getquip.com/crendor5 to get $5 off a Mouthwas Starter Kit including a refillable dispenser and a 90-day supply. Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 15% off your first order and free shipping!

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip out there trying to get your teeth all nice and your breath all fresh. Also, today we're brought to you by me undies. They are the undies that I have on me and have for some time. We'll talk about that as well. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dom. This is Trend Dom in the morning.

In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Cacks and Creddor in the morning. Yeah, what's going on everybody? It's Cacks and Creddor. You came with the same energy I had. The same intensity. I like it. You were like,

Now I'm wiped out. It was a lot. Admittedly, it was a lot. Yeah. Well, you know what? Normally I'm like, how are you doing? But all I know is i saw you tweet that your car got hit by like the trash man and you've been walking everywhere so i figured we'd jump right into that one let me tell you it has been a week so i think monday uh yeah it was monday monday i go out to my car and i don't remember why i was going out to my car

uh but i do know that as I was going out there This was like 2 in the afternoon or so I was walking out to my car And like a guy is sitting there taking photos of my car And I walked up like Uh excuse me Sir? You know cause I was like time out What does this guy want?

I was like excuse me sir? Um pardon what is this? And the guy as he turned to look at me Cause I thought he was taking photos of my license plate and stuff And I was like, excuse me, sir. Pardon? What is this? And the guy, as he turned to look at me, because I thought he was taking photos of my license plate and stuff. And I was like, what? But as he turned to look at me, I saw that in the back of my car was like a perfect circle in my rear window that was completely shattered in. Like a perfect circle. I was like, what the hell? completely shattered in like a perfect circle.

And I was like, what the hell? And he was like, dude, I saw this here and I was like going to report it and, you know, take the photos and submit it to the police. And I was like, what happened?

He's like, I got no clue, dude. And so he like went inside. He's like, as long as you got it, I'm like, yeah,

I guess I got it. So I walked around the car and I noticed that, yeah, besides this hole in my, my rear window that it appeared like around the car was trash. Right? You could see that there was like a half a cake and like a half container of some sort of zucchini salad thing. And then like a Topo Chico bottle that was partially broken.

And then a bunch of other garbage. But there wasn't like a bag or anything. It was just like garbage. Free treasures. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also on the back of my car was part of that cake. So it's like whatever hit – it like landed probably on a clump, bounced off the windshield, shattered the windshield and like fell on the ground.

And so it's like, oh my god, what happened? And as I'm sitting there trying to figure it out around me are the garbage men from the city and their giant garbage trucks. And I watched them as they pick up the garbage bins, shake them violently over the back of their, of the car, of the truck. And then I'm watching garbage fall off the sides.

I'm like, Oh my God, these guys literally did this right in front of my car and they shattered the window and then just kept going. So I went over and I took a photo of one of their vehicles so I could get the number. And I went back and started taking photos and doing all this stuff. You know, called insurance, called the cops, called everything. And insurance was like, well, check the inside of the car.

Make sure there's no damage. So I'm like, I'm really uncomfortable doing this. Like, don't worry. Check the inside. I was like, I'm really uncomfortable doing this. Like, don't worry. Check the inside. I was like, okay. So I open the car door, look inside, and as I close the car door, the entire rear window shatters. Crumbles

in on the inside of the car. So now, I'm like, okay, what do I do? They're like, well, your options are, you can take this, you can take your car to a dealer, not a dealer, to like a workplace You know, like a car

What is happening? Mechanic is what the kids call it What was I thinking? To a workplace where people pound cars I don't know what the hell I was thinking there So like you can go to a mechanic The one that we would like to send you to Is in this place called Alhambra

And I was like, that is so far away They're like,, well, yeah, we'll get you, we'll get you towed there. I'm like, okay. And they're like, do you have AAA? I was like, uh, I used to, I don't anymore. And they're like, well, if you did, it would be a free tow. But since you don't, we're gonna have to charge you for the tow. I'm like, wait, my insurance company is going to charge me for the tow? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not how this works at all. And they're like, well, you could just drive it there since it's only the rear windows damaged and nothing, you know, it doesn't appear like anything else is damaged. And I was like, are you, what if I just take it to a place down the block? I'm not comfortable driving this car. I'm not, I don't want to do

anything. There's a place literally down the street. What if I take it there? And they're like, literally down the street what if i take it there and they're like uh they're not within our like preferred like they're gonna charge you more and we're only willing to pay so much and so there's gonna be a different where you're a difference we're gonna have to go out of pocket and i was like either way i'm going out of pocket is what you're telling me and they're like well you know it's just that's the way that we and i was like this is the why am i paying you money if you're like well either way You're going to have to pay your own money on this And they're like well you could

File a police report and then take it up With the city since it was a city garbage truck That did it And I was like alright well since I've got plenty of free time I guess that's what I'm going to go do now So I Spent the day with Dear editor Mari

Cleaning out the we put on gloves And cleaned out all Of the broken glass put it in a Trash bag like sat there straight up Just like cleaning the back of my car Then I drove it to the place To get worked on and they were like alright We'll be in touch with your insurance

And then I was like alright so I got an Uber back to the Office then at the office. Then at the office was like, all right, boop, boop, boop, boop. Filed a police report. And I was like, what should I do here? Because it's very obvious to me, at least, that it was the trash guys that did this. And they're like, well, you could take it up with the city, but the city is going to require a lot of evidence.

And I was like, well, I have all these photos. I'm like, do you have evidence that it actually occurred? It was them. And I was like, I mean, if this was a trial case, I bet we could convict. I was like, the preponderance of evidence, what was going on around me at the time, I feel like we could convict. And they're like, well, you need to have it caught on film. So then I proceeded to walk up and down the street looking for buildings with cameras pointing in the direction of my car.

And then I find a guy who it's this, I think it's like a recording studio or something. And they have multiple cameras. And I was like, knock, knock, knock. Hey, I know you don't know me. My car got, you know, the back of it got messed up. And the camera you have right here in this corner was pointing directly at it. And I was wondering if I could get that footage or if the police could get that footage, that would be really helpful. I think the city messed up my car

and they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, I got you. And he's like, give me your number. And like, if you can hook me up with your license. So, you know, we know it's you and you can like scratch out all the information just like, you know, so we see your name. And I was like, I got you, dude. I got you. He's like, cool. We'll get back to you He messaged me like do you know what time it took place? And I was like you know between 11 and 3 on Monday, and he was like okay. We'll get back to you Nothing I've heard nothing I messaged them every day like any updates nothing. I'm like oh cool. They ghosted me so now I I'm worried that what's on that video is like

the mayor threw a thing at my car directly. Something crazy. Like, why wouldn't they message me back? So I've been harassing them and they haven't sent me a message. So no matter what, I don't know what's going to happen there. But so far, I'm out of pocket for the experience because everyone's like, we don't want to mess with the city because it's going to be hard to get money out of them. And I'm like, oh my God. So I haven't had a car. Thankfully, I only live like a mile and a half away from the office. So it isn't that big of a deal. So I'm like, all right, well, I guess I'll just walk to the office every day. And if I need to go anywhere else, I will simply get a lift or something. And that's what I've been doing. And they were like, well, it should take between four to

eight business days to get this all wrapped up. And I'm like, oh boy. So as of Friday, that was four business days. So we'll see what happens. Hopefully I'll have my car back this week. But yeah, I've started walking. This is what I've been doing. Hopefully I'll have my car back this week. But yeah, I've started walking. That's what I've been doing. That is... I mean, at least you're getting your exercise in. You know.

It's true. I have... Because I'm a sucker for getting stuff, I found an app on the internet. Because I was like, oh, it'd be fun to sort of gamify the walking, right? Because I can come up with a million excuses of like, oh, today I don't want to walk to work because like I could just take this Uber and it'd be easier, right? And then I get there faster or whatever.

And so I felt like maybe I should gamify stuff and make it a little bit more fun to just do the walk. And so I found an app, I think it's called conqueror. Um, it's on, uh, at least for me, iPhone, but the whole point is, it's like, Hey, you are going to walk anyway. So why not make the walks you do a little more fun. walks you do a little more fun and so as an example you can you can buy into um you know the different adventures they have and they're all kind of like um around the world tour kind of bits so for example the one that i'm doing is the incan trail which is literally what my dad and i did right and so the incan trail is like you know you're going up to machu picchu and i was like doing is the Incan Trail, which is literally what my dad and I did. Right? And so the Incan Trail is like, you know, you're going up to Machu Picchu.

And I was like, oh, cool. And it's like, yeah, it's 26.2 miles. And you can set like a time goal for yourself of how you want to do it. And then in the app itself, it like has different views of the trips. You can actually like see where you are it while walking the trip and um for every 20 percent that you walk they plant a tree and there are people from all over the world doing it so you can judge yourself based on those people and then at the end they literally send you a like a medal like a badass looking medal that's like hey you walked you walked this trail and And I was like, I'm doing this. I'm putting down the money. I'm making this happen.

And so, yeah, over four days of walking back and forth to work, I've walked 14.2 miles. Woo. And I'm like, hell yeah. So yeah, I'm 14.2 miles and I have 12 miles remaining before I complete the Incan Trail. And then because I enjoyed it so much, I went and I bought another trail, which is, I think I got the English channel. Like if you were swimming the English channel, how long it would take. And so that's what I got. I got the English channel. So now the next one I'm going to do is however long the English channel is.

And I was like, this is great. So I may just continue to walk to work just cause it's easy. Yeah. And it's like, you know, I can, I can walk there and walk. I will say during the morning, way easier way. It's like nice and cool. And in the afternoon, when I walk home, I walk in the door of my apartment covered in sweat. It's so hot.'m like oh god so yeah but it's like it's not it's not a hard walk it takes maybe i don't know 35 40 minutes and um yeah it's just i put on music or i put on a podcast and go it's easy it is yeah i mean honestly you know as long as you got something to listen to uh actually i mean even if you're just kind of you know, as long as you got something to listen to.

Actually, I mean, even if you're just kind of, you know, walking and chilling, I still think it's not bad, just taking in the scenery. I mean, it is, yeah, it is kind of nice to see, you know, this section of L.A. where it's a little touristy, so there's, like, actually stuff to look at. It's pretty cool. Oh, yeah, not just, you know, sadness. Yeah, not just, like, you know, the hustle and bustle of the big city. You know, everyone here is pretty chill. Tons of people are walking around, and at night,

it's like young kids on bikes in like bike gangs. It's very weird. It's a lot of bike gangs. Not like cool bike gangs, like really nerdy bike gangs. Like, come on, dudes! They all smell like pot, but they are like, alright, guys! Let's go! Ridiculous. Are they wearing the biker

gear or are they just straight up high kids on bikes? No, they're like bicycle kids. They're bicycle kids in white t-shirts and maybe jeans. And they're like, come on, dude! Let's go! And they're just hanging out late, I suppose, on a Thursday night. Huh.

It's all right. It's fun. I'm excited to, you know, I want to get this medal. I don't know why I'm doing all this because I want a medal. Need this medal. I want to be rewarded. I want to get, like, a dope-ass thing that says the Incan Trail on it. And I'll be like, yeah, hell yeah.

I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't know why. Little rewards. Like, if you want me to get something, promise me, like, some stuff, and I'll do it. There you go. Just give him a medal or some sort of trophy. Yeah, give me something, and I will do whatever. If you're like, all right, if you do this, I will give you this.

And I'll be like, okay. It's that simple. I'm a transactionary person. I'll be if you're like all right if you do this i will give you this and i'm like okay it's that simple i'm a transactionary person i'll be like yeah all right you're like the rat in the maze let's put the cheese down you're like oh the cheese yeah but cheese is good though cheese is good though uh i mean cheese is good everybody the thing is like was it you somebody was talking to and i was like yeah, I made a grilled cheese. But I used, or no, a burger or something. I used Munster cheese because Munster cheese melts better. I don't remember who it was. It might have been in our D&D group.

Like, one of those people was like, I've never heard of Munster cheese. And I was like, what the shit? It wouldn't be me. I love Munster. I actually, the other day, I think I had, like like a horseradish Munster maybe, something like that. It was delicious. Oh, I love a good Munster. That's what I have on my turkey sandwiches.

Yeah. Munster is my favorite, like put it on a burger or a sandwich cheese. I don't know if I'd put it on a burger just because like I like my burger cheeses A little more like oomph You know what I mean like oomph I like it melty Melty cheese Then I would go with an American It may be fake but it melts like nothing else

That monster melts That monster melts Right at that That monster melts That monster melts I'm not a big like cheddar Melted cheddar never turns out good Right at that. That monster melts. That monster melts. I'm not a big cheddar. Melted cheddar never turns out good. Yeah.

It's never good. Not a big melted cheddar. It's got a bit of a bite to it. It's got an oily thing going. Whenever you melt cheddar, it never melts right. Yeah, I feel that. Speaking of walking. So speaking of cheeses speaking of uh cheeses

speaking of walking we had a friend come here so we took him downtown so i had my you know annual uh go downtown we went to the uh we went to the aquarium my annual go downtown my annual go downtown you know how it is so went to the aquarium pretty fun saw the fish and the lizards the frogs and the there's some crazy fish in there dude um what does that mean

there's some crazy fish in there you see some fish you don't even know existed or like frogs that frog's small but it's like crazy spots and everything and you, whoa, that frog's small, but it's got crazy spots and everything, and you're like, oh, that frog's poison. I wish I saw the world through your eyes.

Like, oh, that frog's so small. So we did the aquarium stuff, and then we were getting food at one of the places by Navy Pier, and there were two people or two groups of people we walked by that I had to write down what they said. So the first one was this group of like, I want to say eight men by a yacht

and the one guy just says out loud, this is all I heard from their conversation, so these three women standing there with nothing on and that was it. That's all I heard from their conversation. So these three women standing there with nothing on. And that was it. That's all I heard. You need to, like, stick around for more. You can't keep coming with, like, stories that are like, and I heard them say, and I walked in and everyone was naked. And they said, welcome to the party.

And then I didn't hear anymore. You can't keep doing that. You can't just stop walking and then, like, move over to you gotta stop and be like go on that's all i heard is just that one a group of men by all the yachts and he's like he's three women standing there with nothing on that was it i'll never know but i know that happened i hate you for that what a terrible story so we were walking back to the uh to our car and then there's a big like pothole on the ground and then toast was walking and she like stepped in it and kind of stumbled and we were like oh okay and then this guy that i swear yeah he looked like Bilbo Baggins when he's like 100 years old. Like good Bilbo or like creepy jump scare Bilbo?

Creepy jump scare Bilbo. Oh, boy. Maybe a little blended in between. So she's like, oh, sorry, because he's like behind us. And he was like, it's all right. There's a hole in the ground. There's a hole in the ground. And we're like, yep. And he's like mayor call the mayor tell him fix that hole i'll do it

fix that hole they're like we'll do that i don't think the mayor is gonna do anything but yep it's all right that was uh he was just he very angry. That was a hole in the ground. That was, honestly, him being like creepy Bilbo just made it better. I mean, I question, it just sounds like every Chicago guy. I mean, like every, I feel like there's a lot of guys like him in Chicago who are like little tiny creepy Bilbos. There are, yeah, there probably are. There's a decent amount. Yeah. I feel like meatball transitions. If you make it

past meatball prime, you transition into Bilbo. Oh, and then Saturday we went to the Ren Fair. Oh my god. Yes. Yep. And we saw the Mud Brothers. They're back. They're kicking. They're still going

They all made it through COVID alright They did, I was worried But they all made it through And when you walked in One of them had his little I don't know, not fedora thing What's those little hats with the thingy on top Fez?

Yeah the Fez, he had a Fez on And he was wrapped up in a towel And he would open the towel and it says Mud Show And it would show their times and he'd be like mud show. And then this one woman walked up to him and she's like, you threw mud at me the other year. And he's like, oh, I mean, yeah, that's what you're going there for. I don't know what she's complaining about. Yeah, I think she was. I think she was just happy.

She was just like teasing him about it. And he was just like, oh. Oh. I just love walking around there. I actually ran into some fans. That was pretty neat. They were like, you Crendor? And I was like, I think I am.

Are you Crendor? Are you Crendor? That's why my go-to is like, I think I am. I hope I am. Who are these? Who are these? Who are these? Who are these? I'm going to say delinquents.

Who are these delinquents? That's all Crandorfans. That's true. I think there's like two or three of them. Although one guy, he was just like, are you a YouTuber? He's like, I don't even know who you are, but those people are saying hi to you. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, I watched that one guy on World of Warcraft. And I was like, Asmongold? And he's like, don't even know who you are but those people are saying hi to you and i was like yeah he's like i watched that one guy on world of warcraft and i was like asmongold and

he's like no the other one that's like s fan and he's like yeah the guy with the big curly hair and i was like yeah it sounds like s fan i was like all right yeah uh yeah i mean people are like half they're halfway like wasted already. Yeah, I believe that. I feel like something else happened at the Ren Faire. I had a beer, walked around, good time. I feel like something else happened at the Ren Faire. I had a beer, good time. Walked around, good time.

Yeah, I don't know. It's the Ren Faire, right? There's only so many things you can do. But it was nice because we didn't get to go last year because of COVID. So I think it was really crowded. So I think everybody's just like the run fair's back get in the car there's a go can i tell you something totally crazy sure i had a crendor moment and i wrote it down and i feel like this is this is something you would you would you would think about and so i wrote this down because it hit me like, wow, that's a Crandor moment.

All right. So I was coming off the elevator in my apartment complex. And I saw a guy. And he saw me. And we both smiled and said, hey. And then did not say another word. And I walked away. And the first thought I had was like, does the idea of smiling and saying hello signify you are not a threat to a person That's why

You know I'm always doing it to people I'm like oh hey And I just like big smile like walk by Like hey I don't want you to think I'm gonna hurt you And I don't know why I do that I don't know A lot of times you meet people and they like are stone faced And you can't judge them at all You don't know nothing about lot of times you meet people and they like are stone faced and you can't judge them at all.

You don't know nothing about them. And me, I'm just like, oh, hello. And then like, keep walking by like, like, hey, what's up? And I like walk by and I don't know why I do that. But I feel like it is some sort of societal ingrained. Like I am letting you know that I am not a threat to your person and everything is okay because i've said hello to you and i acknowledge you are friend i feel like that's that's what i was thinking i was like oh boy this is some crendor shit right here i think it's definitely

societal i mean like if you go to somewhere like japan like they don't smile at each other they just walk and they just keep themselves and do their thing but like they're not worried because they're like i'm just doing my thing they're doing their thing and we just do our thing while here it's like that guy looking me funny that guy looking me funny right so it's like yeah i feel like it's definitely more um is i feel like more cultural and western culture at least right because i mean you'll see people and you said they're stone-faced and you know they might just be anxious they might just be like socially anxious or keeping themselves and not wanting to talk and you're just like oh i bet that person

might not be friendly right but when they see you being like hey and they're like yeah he's just a goofy guy i mean like i don't i don't know man i try so hard to come off as nice because people, boy, boy howdy. Every time I meet a new person, they always think I'm like either. There's only two versions of me. Either I'm going to be the guy who attacks them or I'm like that guy you definitely can ask money from. That's it. That's the only two versions people see of me. They're like, oh, this guy's so nice.

I bet I could ask him for a few dollars. Or I got to stay away from this guy. He looks like a killer. I'm just like, what are you? Those are my two options? That's how you see me? It's crazy. It's crazy.

Yeah. I mean, you're never going to convince everybody. I mean, somebody might look at you and you're like, hey, hoo-hoo. And they're like, oh, that guy's crazy. Well, I don't do that. I'm like, oh, hey, what's up? I'm not like, hey, welcome to my YouTube channel. I'm like that. Well, I mean, when you put it like that, I mean, that's just being social and normal.

Yes, that's what I'm saying. I think some people aren't social. And I get it. But also, if I don't say hi, people size me up like, if I have to fight this guy, can I take him? Every time. I'm also not like you. I mean, I'll say hi or whatever, but I'm more closed off.

Right, but you won't purposefully. If you're in an elevator and someone comes in, do you purposefully stand with your face to that person? No. Exactly. When I get in an elevator, people will turn and look at me like, this guy's going to throw some shit down. I got to be ready just in case this guy wants to fight. And then smile i'm like oh hey what's up and they're like oh not much and

then they are suddenly comfortable and i have gone my entire life never feeling threatening and i came to la and now everyone is like oh this guy's about to hurt me and i don't know what it is grendor i don't know what it is. It's very weird. Oh, I know what I was going to bring up. So I had a dream, alright? I had a crazy dream that St. Louis stopped existing. Okay, you know when I said I

think I understand Grendor thoughts and I'm like I'm having Grendor thoughts, I now realize that is not the case. I'm like ator thoughts and I'm like I'm having Crandor thoughts I now realize that is not the case I'm like at level one and you are at 33 and a third living your best life alright yeah alright what what in my dream I'd like it was like

my family wanted to go on a vacation I'm like alright I'm driving so I was like driving like the family on vacation like we gotta get to St. Louis and I kept trying to put it into the Google Maps and it wouldn't pop up and I was driving the family on vacation. We got to get to St. Louis. And I kept trying to put it into the Google Maps, and it wouldn't pop up. And I was trying different spellings of St. Louis. And I was like, it's not showing up. It's not coming up.

I don't think it exists. And they were like, no, it exists. And then I started Googling it, and I still couldn't find anything. And then there was a big map that popped up of all these cities in Missouri, and they were just not St. Louis. It was like made up, like made up towns. My brain just threw together like the pasta bill and like

bugger now, you know, just like random letters. It's like, Oh no, I'm in a dream. Right, right,

right. And then I woke up and I was like, what the shit? And then I had to like go to the computer. I was like St. Louis and I'm like, all right, we're good.

It exists. I was like, St. Louis. And I'm like, all right, we're good. It exists. It was weird. I have some pretty vivid dreams when I have dreams. Most of the dreams. Oh, my God. I had another dream that reminds me where I had the stupid thing where you realize you're dreaming. You ever get that? I mean, I think I've had something similar to it but i don't know you'd

have to describe it to me i mean it's pretty uh pretty unpopular what happened to you like what yeah what happened i feel like this is the step people get to to lucid dream but instead of being like whoa i'm dreaming i can create whatever i want i can fly in a dragon i can you know do whatever i'm i'm like I'm dreaming I'm dreaming you like start panicking and in your dream you start panicking about dreaming you're just like oh god I'm dreaming I gotta wake up like for whatever reason I always have to wake up when I realize I'm dreaming and it's like you gotta wake up and I start trying to move and I'm like I can't move and you like realize your body's paralyzed and And you're just like, ugh. And then one time I had it, and I thought I woke up, but I was inceptioning myself.

I woke up in a dream within a dream. And then I woke up. And the other time, I was just like, blah. And then I managed to move my neck, and that woke me up. But I remember one time, this is a completely different one. I woke up, and then I was i was like oh i must have woken up and then i looked over and there's like toaster woman next to me and she was just looking at me and it was like a weird like it's like a horror movie she was just like staring and had no face

and i was like what the shit and then i woke up again and then she was just normally there i would love for a dream interpreter to interpret that i'm sure that would Make for a lovely conversation in your household Well I told her that I was like I woke up and then I thought you were there And then it was like No face you and then I woke up again And it was normal you I've never

The worst Dream experience I've ever had That actually was like oh no I was on a plane And, I was on a plane and I fell asleep on a plane and like just sitting in my chair and whatever I had done, I guess I had, um, fallen asleep with my teeth biting down on my tongue and it hurt very bad. Like I was clearly biting on my tongue. And I was awake, but my eyes were not open and my body was still not fully awake yet.

And so I'm sure it was mere seconds, but it felt like an eternity where I was sitting there in actual pain, biting on my tongue. But I couldn't release my jaw. And it wasn't until I could open my eyes and my whole body suddenly relaxed that I was able to stop. But I actually had teeth marks on my tongue. When I landed, I looked at the hotel bathroom window or window. Oh, my God.

The mirror. Looked out the window. There was my tongue. No, oh my god the mirror Looked out the window there was my tongue No I uh looked in the mirror And yeah I had these bite marks On my tongue and I guess I was sleeping And just sort of like bit down on it And it wasn't until it started to hurt that I

That I woke up and then I just I wouldn't wait I think I was still in that phase Of like your body still coming Coming to it was wild I was like nope never want to go through that again that was terrible yeah i guess it's probably like a a you know similar type of thing it's it's very much like the body paralysis that hits you that's what i'm saying it freaks you out i guess it is worse if you're in pain on top of it. My go-to is I always just roll my head.

That always wakes me up. Wasn't that the inner ear thing, right? I know that Inception actually talks about it in a way that's way cooler than I could describe it. Oh, yeah. But, yeah, there's like, you know, you have like an equilibrium thing where suddenly you're like, whoa, something's wrong, and you snap out of it. Yeah. No, it is really weird.

And then you wake up and you're like. Yeah. Just like that you wake up like some sort of pod person yeah you've come out of a pod and you're like oh yeah you're sucking in air for the first time into your lungs that have never been used yeah Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, it was a great time.

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Now let's go to shop and grab some of the guys at Crandor. How's that traffic out there? Oh boy traffic out here is still pretty crazy because it's the summertime. Everybody's driving around. They got their vaccines. They're going out. They're partying.

They're anti-partying. They're bopping. They're whopping. They're staying home. Wait, that wouldn't make sense. It's traffic. They're back to you. I think he had a stroke.

Anyway, now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather time. Let's see. Let's see. We got any weather requests over here. Any weather requests?

Weather time. It's weather time. It's weather time. Everyone loves weather time. See, I'm stalling for you. Weather time. It's weather time. Good, good, good. Weather time for you.

Beautiful song. Looks like the weather is going to be at Caringba NSW Australia. Caringba. Caringba. caring bar nsw australia caring bar caring bar nsw australia north southwest nsw nsw new south wales oh okay i was like north southwest australia uh caring bar new south wales australia it is currently 56 degrees fahrenheit mostly cloudy strong wind warning uh-oh strong winds 54 uh humidity 55 pressure 30.04 inches visibility 8 miles wind 11 miles an hour dew point 40, UV 2 of 10, and the old moon phase hitting up that waxing gibbous. You got a 6.57 a.m. sunrise

and a 5.06 p.m. sunset. The 10 day. Caringbaugh looks like it is basically just a suburb of Sydney. I guess is what it is. I'm going to make that assumption based on nothing except one map. Uh, alright. I'd say it's a good based on nothing except one map. All right.

I'd say it's a good assumption. 10 days, 60, partly cloudy. Tuesday, you're going to get 63, mostly cloudy. Wednesday, 58, AM showers and winds. 62, mostly sunny. Friday, 59, cloudy. Saturday, 63, mostly sunny. Sunday, partly cloudy, wind.

Monday, 59, cloudy. Saturday, 63, mostly sunny. Sunday, partly cloudy, wind. Monday, 59 and sunny. And Tuesday, 63 and sunny. Honestly, pretty pleasant weather. Yeah. We're coming into spring, technically. It does look like spring weather, if I had to take a wild guess. We're slowly coming into spring. I'm not sure how it works in Australia.

Also, I'm going to bring up something kind of unrelated, but kind of related. Uh-huh. Did your parents ever turn on the weather channel? Not like the weather weather channel, like the one that just shows the radar, and it would just be like weather in blah, blah, blah, and it would just read out stuff, and then it'd just play jazz music. Here's the thing I don't know if they Did the weather channel version of that but my mom Frequently while waiting for stuff to

Record which is a thing she does she like Records so much TV And then she'll be like oh did you see this And play like A Christmas special from 1996 or some nonsense What the hell um but it's a lot of uh there's at least spectrum has like spectrum one network oh yeah and most of it is like here's your local forecast like yes absolutely all right fantastic yeah they my parents all the time are just like

Put on the radar, put on the forecast And they just put that on for like background music And then when you're looking, I guess it's gonna Rain maybe, or no clouds Well I think when you live in a place Where there is weather, it's a lot more interesting To put that on in LA It's like, put on the weather

And it's like another day of sun It's like another sunny day blue skies and golden sunshine there's absolutely no weather at all it's like another hot day yeah that's a good point uh see i was throwing that out there comment below if you also enjoy that because i was i was thinking about that i'm like, do they have an actual soundtrack for the old Weather Channel thing? And I looked it up, and there's an actual weather soundtrack that they used to use. And people were like, yes, my family would put this on in the background. And then people were freaking out being nostalgic for it. Make me Google Weather Channel soundtrack.

The Weather Channel soundtrack playlist by Chris Holmes is on Spotify. Oh, my God. What? Time is on Spotify. Oh, my God. What? Time out. Time. Oh, my God. It has. I'm already down to 469, 516 songs.

574 songs is what it has. The Weather Channel songs feature on the Weather Channel during local forecast segments and others from 1982 through the 90s. Amazing. There's some good songs in there. I love this. Yeah, there's songs like Hideaway by David Sanborn. Or I can't tell you why, but a lot of Kenny G.

Oh, my God. Yeah, this is so much Kenny G. I was about to Yeah. This is so much Kenny G. I was about to be like, look at all these names. Kenny G makes bank off the weather. So much Kenny G. Oh my god. There's so much of it. Like every eighth song is a Kenny G song.

Wow. Well, there you go. Kenny G. Can't beat it. Imagine. It's like, what do you do for a living? It's like, made Weather Channel music get royalties yeah i mean i always thought kenny g was like when you know when people over 50 were definitely trying to have sex but i guess it's weather channel too maybe that's why oh no credo maybe that's why they're like put on the channel uh that's the that's the weather unless you want to tell us about CaringBot Why don't you put on the weather channel over there, Eric?

Oh, Jesus How's CaringBot? You find any crazy things or no? Is it just a suburb? It just appears to be a suburb I went and looked through and there was a whole bunch of nothing. Alright, crikey, mate. Crikey. I'm sure we'll get a message

from them like, there's actually much to do here. Which, by the way, if you want to message us, if you want to sell us on your city, we will take swag from your city. That's true. We have a P.O. box. Send everything, all your swag to us and we'll rep your city. Yes. without a doubt

Alright, let's go to sports Sports we are at the sports desk. We've got crazy sports happening now by crazy sports. I mean It's really just baseball and basketball And then Olympics coming up Basketball has been crazy. It's been the Bucks and the Suns. I've been watching some of that while I'm building some Warhammer stuff. Oh my God, yesterday's game.

It was insane. It was tied 2-2. They go to Phoenix and then Bucks were, I think they were up by like two or something. And then Phoenix had the ball with like 20 seconds left and the Suns got it stripped. And then he did an alley oop to giannis it was oh my god that was a spicy ending uh it was a spicy ending spicy ending bucks

are up three two now i'm cheering for the bucks uh that's just that's what i'm doing i want the bucks to win they're just a more likable team too chris paul's kind of like a kind of like a douchey noodle player you know a douchey noodle player. A douchey noodle player. He wants to get his finals win, but he's just shoving people around. What a douchey noodle. He's playing solid basketball.

See ya. What a douchey noodle. What a douchey noodle, dude. And then over in baseball, you got Boston up at the top. You got the Whiteoston up at the top you got the white socks at the top houston the mets the milwaukee brewers and the san francisco giants uh and then the olympics are happening i think like five days can i tell you i went down a rabbit hole I went down a rabbit hole of Olympic stuff today I read an article

That was like hey In order to prevent Olympic athletes from having sex They made the beds out of cardboard And I was like that's insane And then I read about it and I looked at the beds And they were like cardboard beds And I was like what if you're like a weight lifter

You're going to crush through the bed So I was like this is weird But then someone responded like this is weird But then I Someone responded like this is actually not true This is BS Do not believe this people can literally Just take the mat off you can still have sex like that's This is a non story the real story

Here is that they plan On recycling All the materials they're using for The Olympics and they're trying to be like Very you know earth friendly Oh I see and then some all the materials they're using for the Olympics. And they're trying to be very Earth-friendly. Oh, I see. And then some responder's like, that's not true at all. This is BS.

I live in Japan, and this is the truth. And I was like, I'm down the rabbit hole now. Here we go. And he was like, in Japan, the cardboard something, I guess the cardboard lobby, is really in with the people who are in power right now. And so basically they got like a sweetheart deal to do almost all of this construction stuff for the Olympics. And that's why everything is cardboard.

Not because they're being good, but because basically they're like corrupt. And I was like, oh my god. I don't know what's real anymore. I don't know which of these three stories to believe I know they're all crazy I imagine all of it's a little bit true And I was like, this is what happens When you read the news and actually research

You find out like a million things So I have no clue, but I was like, this is great This is funny Out of all the stories I believe Big Cardboard the most Big Cardboard is trying to take over Like the people banging They're going to bang anyway I believe big cardboard the most. Oh, yeah, that sounds about right. Big cardboard is trying to take over. Like, the people banging, like, they're going to bang anyway.

They'll be like, oh, I'm stuck in my cardboard bed. If there's anyone more prepared to have sex in a million different ways, it's an athlete. Like, come on. That doesn't make any sense. And the cardboard beds being recyclable, like, I don't mean. I guess it kind of makes sense. Like, sense Like saving money and protecting the planet and stuff Like okay But there's a million other recyclable things that they could have used instead

The fact that it's like oh Big cardboard is in with the government Makes a lot of sense Plus go online look up those beds They are the least comfortable looking beds I've ever seen in my life They really are I've never seen anything like it it looks terrible I was like this looks like when you would make

A throne out of beer. You know what I mean? You get a lot of cases of beer. This is my beer throne. That's what it looks like. It's insane. Yeah. It's, yeah, man.

I like big cardboard stories. That's the one I'm sticking to the most. It makes sense. It checks out. Olympics, they're coming up. That's sports. All right. What is our big fact of the day?

I was about to say news, but I know we got to do this. There you go. You can sneeze faster than a cheetah can run. I believe that to be true. Your sneezes are, like, powerful. Yeah, sneezes are pretty powerful. I believe that, too. That's not a crazy fact.

I'm going to find a different one. What is it, like, 46 miles an hour or something like that? It is... I don't even think they say it. We can sneeze faster, four and a half times faster than Usain Bolt's record and 20 times faster than Michaelain bolt's record and 20 times faster than michael phelps uh 100 miles an hour is the sneeze yeah yeah yeah i think if cheetah's like top speed is like i don't know 40 to 60 or something wild like that i can't remember but i

yeah that's why it's so hard to keep your eyes open when you sneeze because the force of your sneeze is so powerful and people like try to hold in sneezes. Don't do that. Just sneeze. The people who are like when their sneezes are like like that. Like, no, sneeze. If you're going to sneeze, let it out. Yeah. No, I do that all the time.

Like when I sneeze, I like wind up and then, you know, just let it out. Yeah. You just got to go and get over it. Here's a crazy fact. Pluto technically isn't even a year old. What? That's right. Pluto was discovered February 18, 1930.

It is the farthest dwarf planet from the sun, requiring it to go much farther distance than we are used to on Earth. It takes 248 Earth years for Pluto to complete one rotation. This places Pluto's first birthday since its discovery on Monday, March 23rd, 2178. Oh my god. Well, considering it's not a

planet, I guess it doesn't matter. Way to go science. Thanks science. There's your fact. Okay. What's our big news story of the day Big news story of the day This is a honker Nicolas Cage says he knew

His relationship with wife Rico Shibata could work After discovering she keeps Flying squirrels I believe this is his Much younger wife Yes He's like 50 and she's like 26 I believe this is his much younger wife. Yes.

I believe she's like 50 and she's like 26. Here's the thing. Not only do I feel this on a deep level, but I get it. If you're a crazy person and you find someone that matches your crazy, age should not matter. Because frankly, I think if he's like, she keeps flying squirrels. To me, if I live the life of a man who, like, I collect different weird animals, and I fly them to my private island, and I have dinosaur skulls, let the man have his day. I think great for him. I think great for him i think great for him and

here's the thing she's into it if she was like oh nick cage yeah that's my kind of hot if that's what she wants bless bless i'd say great for both of them i will say this is nick cage's uh fifth wife so you know fifth time's the charm, I guess. I mean, maybe he doesn't know what he's looking for. That's true. Let's see what it says. The actor Nicholas Cage said that he knew he could have a successful relationship with his wife after discovering her love for unusual animals, flying squirrels.

We met in Japan, and I thought she was stunning when I met her. We had a lot in common, he said at the premiere of his new film, Pig. She likes animals, too, so I asked her, do you have any pets? And she said, I have flying squirrels. She had two sugar gliders. I thought, that's it. This could work out. Representative for Cage told People Magazine that Cage and Shibata tied the knot earlier in the year.

Very small, intimate wedding in Vegas. Pig premieres the first time a couple's been seen. In Vegas. I'm quite excited to take a picture with her, he said. It is Nick Cage's fifth wife. The National Treasure star was previously married to the actress Patricia Arquette

between 95 and 2000. Arquette, sure. Between 95 and 2001. Then Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis from 2002 to 2004. Yep. Earlier this year, Cage told a radio show he and Shibata got engaged on a video call because they were separated due to the corona pandemic. She left New York and went back to Kyoto, and I went to Nevada,

and I haven't seen her for six months. We're really happy together, and we're really excited to spend that time together, so I finally just said, look, I want to marry you, and we got engaged on FaceTime. Cage sent her a black diamond engagement ring. I mean, that sums up. A black diamond engagement ring is the most Nick Cage thing I've ever heard. I'm looking through his past relationships, which is amazing. Oh, yeah.

I was looking through those. Yeah. So he, Patricia Arquette, who's David Arquette, that whole thing, you know, Lisa Marie Presley, obviously, Elvis, Alice Kim was from 2004 until 2016. That's a long ass marriage. I guess they had a kid, I think. Oh, wow. I mean, yes, they were's a long ass marriage. I guess they had a kid, I think. Oh, wow. I mean, yes, they were married a pretty long time.

Then he married Erica... Erica Koke? Koke? For not even a year. Less than a year. Yeah. Through all of 2019. 2019 was it for them. And then he instantly rebounded.

He's like, and now i'm married again it is i do have like a question about his like his transition from like white ladies into only asian women i do i do have a question about this i do do. I do. I am curious why this has happened, but like, okay. Here's a quote from marrying Alice Kim and said, I married into another culture, and it's interesting because in Korea, they call me the son-in-law. What? Isn't that what most people call their son-in-law?

I guess probably like the presley family was like this bastard oh yeah it says with the presleys oftentimes when you have two people who are very strong in their own personalities and rather intense sometimes you can have a hard time meshing so they just probably just fought a lot obviously this, I feel like this man just needs to learn how to date. Because from 1995 to 2001, he was married. Then from 2002 to 2004, he was married. Then from 2004 to 2016, he was married. So he had like a three-year period between 2016 and 2019 where he wasn't married.

And then he immediately got married again. And then after that, immediately got married again. Nick, you can just date people. You don't have to instantly marry them. I gotta get married. Gotta get married. I guess it's such a like it definitely seems like a weird

guy thing of just like I'm going through some stuff and the only way I can show love is through proposal. Like I just don't it's so weird. So this is what it says with his Erica Koiki relationship. By far, Cage's shortest-lived marriage, the actor tied the knot to the makeup artist in 2019 in Las Vegas after a year of dating. In the court documents, The Blast, Cage claims that they were both intoxicated and he, quote,

lacked understanding of his actions in marrying her to the extent that he was incapable of agreeing to the marriage. He also claimed that there were grounds for an annulment since Koiki didn't disclose to Cage the full nature and extent of her relationship with another person. Oh, shit. He was mad she was dating some other guy. And then the Oscar winner allegedly alleged Koiki didn't inform him of her criminal history, including additional active criminal proceedings.

Oh, my God. Oh, my. Yeah, that's a that's a crazy relationship right there. Meanwhile, the photo I found of him and his current wife It's them walking I assume in an airport tarmac And then Something Like in an airport hallway

And he's wearing a grey suit with the craziest hat I've ever seen While carrying a Whale And she is looking lovingly At the whale It is a Get it, Nick. I will always be a fan.

I can't wait to watch Pig. I'm here for it. I'm here for it. Wait, what? His ex-wife that he was married to for 12 years attended his wedding? I believe that. That's kind of weird. I believe that.

I think Nick Cage is still friends with all these people because there's a reason why he does all these movies because they're taking like half the paycheck. Oh, yeah, that's true. I guess if you marry five people, you probably owe a lot of money to people. I would say that you probably do, yeah. Ridiculous. Well, there you go. Nick Cage relationships. I love it. All right. Well, that is it. Nick age relationships. I love it.

All right. Well, that is it for us. Thank you so much for listening and watching. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Crandor, hit them with the socials. We've got socials. We've got youtube.com slash coxcrandorpodcast. Find all the podcasts over there.

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Okay, well, we'll see you all next time, and as always, to be continued.