Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 299 - Teach Him a Lesson

Episode Date: July 26, 2021

In this episode Crendor returns to the Renn Faire and gets a great deal on mushrooms! Also Jesse knows some guys on tiktok and the Olympics are on! Also a man teaches a gator a lesson apparently, and Jesse gets sent back to high school. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://babbel.com and use promo code COX to get 3 months of Babbel for free! Go to http://hellofresh.com/cox14 and use code cox14 for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping!

Today's episode is brought to you by Babbel. Babbel is out there trying to help you learn a new language. Also today we're brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is trying to make fresh eating something you can do at home and easy. We'll talk about that too. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. Hello, everybody. Exciting episode. Whoa. What did I just say? Hello, everybody. Exciting episode. Good morning! Big story, little content. Big story, little content, giant bear. Lots of vodka.

Whoa, that's very true. Lots of vodka. That's like, I mean, normally that's true. Yeah. So, hey, hi. Hey, hi. Boy, do I have a lot of stories. All right.

Well, if you got a lot of stories, let me do mine first. Mine aren't great. Okay. Alright, well if you got a lot of stories, let me do mine first, because mine aren't great. So, my stories involve just having a good time. Having a good time. Wait, what? Wait, what? You were like, okay, let me go first.

My story involves long pause, having a good time. Yes. Okay. So, let's see. On Monday last week, we actually went out to eat because it was my birthday. So, I've turned 32 years old. Congratulations, old man. Congrats.

Thank you. Thank you. It's, you know, like to you, I'm still young because you're like, you are. You got many years on me. But now to like most of the Internet, I'm old because so many like Twitch streamers and YouTubers now they're like 22. And I'm like, oh, my God, 22. I guess that's who.

Yeah, it hurts, doesn't it? Yeah. But it's like it's one of those things where no matter your age, there's always someone older than you, right? So like, you know, you get like 70 and someone's like, 70? I was that 20 years ago and they're 90, right? I mean, there's a lot less, let's be honest. Over time, there's a lot less people older than you. That's true.

But still, there's less people older than you that's true um but still there's there's always someone older than you uh anyway so we went out to eat we're at this restaurant and this girl walked by and i was it's one of those things right it's right down the quotes i hear right and she just said out loud just i love water that's a hydro homie right there i feel that i sometimes, I love water. That's a hydro homie right there. I feel that. I sometimes shout, I love water. When have you shouted, I love water?

Oh, my God. About, I don't know, an hour ago when I ran out of it and realized how much I love water. I was like, I got no more. Because I'm in LA, so, you know, tap water. Oh, that's true. It's like. Hard to come by. Yeah, so. Well, good tap water. Hard to come by. Yeah. So.

Well, good tap water is hard to come by. Yeah. All of my water is gone. And so I. Yeah. I drank a soda for the first time in a while. And it's like not. It's too sweet.

It's like not great. It's still sitting here. I'm looking at it. It's a Sprite. It is. I wish I had water is what I'm saying. I'm a little angry that they defiled water to make this. I don't think we're going to get a Sprite contract.

I'm going to let you know. I don't think we're going to get one either. That's okay. That's fine. Anyway, I guess that's not weird. I thought it was funny when it happened. Maybe I was like a wine in already. So, you know, already glass of wine in.

You're like water. I write that down. You know, hit or miss. Sometimes you write these down. You get good stuff. Right, right, right, right. Person at the other table. This is a better one.

I was wearing a cowboy hat. All right. I don't know if this was like a group of co-workers or like a get-together of friends or whatever, but it was like eight, probably like 40 to 60 year old people, and two of them I want to say were like late 50s, and it was just this one woman who looked like your standard

veterinarian receptionist, and another woman, or another man, who looked like a cowboy. And he looked like a veteran cowboy like he's been a veteran cowboy yeah no that checks out like he's been wrangling cattle and bulls and stuff for years and he had his cowboy hat and he's he's talking to the other guy there who just looks like some guy you'd see the i don't know just like some random dude bro at the office but he's like 40 which was which is why i think they were working together but it doesn't make sense i'm like why

is there a cowboy a veterinarian assistant and like this dude bro guy so maybe it's friends i don't know maybe maybe it's a joke maybe you walked into a joke maybe a veterinarian in the crendor walk into a bar it's possible because the guy at the table was possibly me in like 20 years because he was like i had ibs like really loud he's like i had ibs and it's gotten better but like whenever it would i'm getting these migraines but the migraines are getting better now too and i was like dude this guy is me in 20 years it's got to be me it was just weird seeing hearing someone else talk about migraines and ibs and it's not me on this show there's a weird time i just i love that you found like a kindred spirit yeah yeah um so that was a good time uh Then we went back to the Ren Faire because last week we only got to go for like an hour and a half

because I had to come back and do a brand deal. So I was like, all right, let's come back next week. So this week we came back. We stayed for like four hours. So it was like a big honking Ren Faire time. And so one thing I heard was these two guys walking, just like two big motorcycle buff dudes. Shirts off, of course. And he was like, dude, can I smoke here? Is it all right to smoke?

He's like, yo, they got a smoke area over there, man. They got a smoke area over there. Everybody good? And then he's like, yo, I gotta pee. And he's like, Jackson's gotta pee. And he's like, Jackson's gotta pee. And he's like, fucking Jackson. I mean, alright, right? I don't know why. It just made

me laugh because it was like, these dudes were like, they were pretty far in the bag. And just the annoyance of Jackson having to pee just ruined his moment. I mean, Jackson, you know. You know.

Come on, Jackson. Come on, Jackson. Come on, Jackson. Then there's like this group of people, and this one girl was like, It's going to be okay, but then he puts your heart and soul. That's all I heard. What? It's going to be okay, but then he puts your heart and soul. That's all I heard. It's going to be okay, but then he puts your heart and soul.

And I didn't know what it meant. So I wrote it down. I thought you would know. It's going to be okay, but then he puts your heart and soul. Yes. I mean, obvious spell casting,

which are you were at a Renaissance fair. That's true. They can be be casting spells. I didn't even think of that. Or they're just like critical role fans. I feel like no matter what, if you're at a Renaissance fair and someone says something weird, if you say, oh, those are just critical role fans, it will most likely pan out to be true. You got a point. I feel like you can just say that about a lot of that space

and be like, oh, they're just Critical Role fans. And everyone will be like, oh, okay. You probably didn't crack the code. I still got to take you to the Ren Faire. I can't believe you've never been to a Ren Faire. I would love to go. I would love to go to a Ren Faire. I've never been to one.

It's going to happen. It's going to happen. I don't know how I would handle it. I feel like most of the time I'd be like, what the hell is going on? What is this? Why are you dressed up like this? What is going on?

I got some garlic mushrooms and he was like, my lord, your mushrooms. And then he spilled some of them and he was like, no! And I was like like it's all good man it's almost the end of the day and then he was like I will give you more mushrooms I was like thanks

I have failed in my quest to procure mushrooms for thee you know what I think he gave me more mushrooms and spilled out so it was like I really was the true winner there you really were I mean although although I do question if the whole experience was a win, but I guess you got mushrooms. I did.

I think it was, I mean, I love the Ren Faire. It's great. Big fan. It was just hot as shit. Oh my God. It was like 92 and like 85% humidity. It was like a swamp. It was, ooh, man.

Yeah, it was hot, but you know, still a good time. Good time seems relative when you're out in that heat. I would have been like, I need 18 beers, my lord. Well, I had two beers, but that was all I wanted because I was like, more than this, I'm going to get dehydrated and, you know, it's hot. I would have screwed up. I would have kept drinking beers because I was thirsty and getting dehydrated and it only would have gotten worse. And so I would have been the guy jumping in to, like, fight the mud men.

I'd be like, get out of here, mud men. I shall slay thee with my axe! Mom, this drunk man's in the mud. I don't know, throw tomatoes at him. Stop throwing tomatoes at me, wench! There actually is a guy you can throw tomatoes at for five bucks. And he hurls insults at you. That sounds great. He's's like where's dude you throwing with the plaid shirt where did you get that at the gap they'll just like yell how does he know the gap

nobody knows but oh my god is he a future man is that why he's he's being like Strung up like that Because he's a witch It's possible Again It's a critical role thing So those are my stories So I got them out of the way now Now you can roll yours Well I have a very Crandor story

So There was a bar near my office A pub if you will That every Thursday they do turtle Races oh my god Here's the thing I've yet to actually see The turtle races But I was there on a Thursday so I

Saw the setup for the turtle races And you know I'm not like I'm like I'm like 85 years old and Cool kid years yeah so We were there like after work H, but we left at like nine. But like there were all these, you know, as the night went on, more and more people started to show up. And it was this crazy mixed crowd. But it was very obvious that there was a whole group that were kind of like young.

And they looked young to the point where I honestly felt awkward. Not like, oh, I'm the old man here, but like these kids look like their children. You know what I'm talking about? Where it's like they're so like 21, probably maybe not. They probably have a fake ID. They look young. Oh, yeah. And it was just like, oh, this is, oh, you look like a kid.

You don't look like you should be out having a great time you look like i don't know studying don't you have something to do tomorrow i don't know it was it was awkward but uh but they're also like you know weirdos because it's la so there was like an eclectic crowd of people there but at some point while everyone was sort of gathering around to watch the turtles and it still hadn't started yet. It was 9 PM. Still hadn't started yet. This is what I heard. Some guy shout something and use the phrase tick tock. And then a random person goes, did I hear tick tock?

Wonders over to this group of guys and they're all taking photos. And the guy's like, yo, you want to talk? And they're like, I don't know. You want to talk? And he's like, yeah, I'm on to talk. And the guy's like, yo, you want to talk? And they're like, I don't know. You want to talk? And he's like, yeah, I'm on Tik TOK. And the guy's like, I'm on Tik TOK too. And so he started like talking about Tik TOK and I'm just sitting there watching them like this, I have to take notes.

I just started writing down notes. And this one guy was like, yo, you want a picture? And the guy was like, hell yeah. I want a picture. Then I started taking like pictures together. And then finally someone says, yo, you famous on Tik TOK. And the other guy's like, no, I just have a TikTok. And he's like, oh, okay.

And he like walked away. And as he walked away, he walked towards me and his shirt read the following. It said, it was a black shirt and in white lettering said loser. But then the S was crossed out With a red V What? So there you go That's the guy And he

That's I just I don't know how to describe this moment It was so weird It was just a bunch of dudes Being like Yo you to talk Yo I to talk

You to talk I to talk And I was like Is this What it was like When we would go to parties And people were like You on YouTube dude

Yeah I'm on YouTube Holy crap It's gotta be I was so weirded out by it Because it was just like hearing a bunch of fully grown men go You TikTok I TikTok It was like a different language It was crazy

TikTok TikTok But here's the thing they're gonna get they're gonna get older six seven years from now and they'll be like yo you tiktok to be like get out of here old man tiktok's the old days like yo you flim flam like yeah flim flam they're gonna look at that and be like weirdos weird kids it's not even gonna be that be that. That's too close to TikTok. It's going to be like. Do you? Because I'm on.

No, it's not. It's. Oh, right, right, right. I like this new this new model that you've created, because obviously this is a platform you've made because it sounds like a Crandor sound. Obviously, this is a platform you've made because it sounds like a Crandor sound. When I become an entrepreneur of applications in a few years, just remember, when you start using bot, it's mine. I will remember that. I will remember that. So also this week, I had the revelation that no matter what, you will always, always, always be the child of your parents. Let me explain.

All right. So, as you all know, you specifically, I guess I was talking to the audience there. I don't know who I was talking to. As you all know, my car is in the shop so I've just been walking to the office and trying to do all that is it fixed yet well no so let's talk about that for a minute so my insurance company was like fighting with the repair guys and because they didn't want to pay as much as the repair guys wanted and so the insurance company then just sent me a check. And we're like, well, you could pay the difference.

I was like, what? So they sent me a check, but then didn't inform the repair guys. So I waited a few days thinking my car was going to be ready. And then I just drive down there and get my car. And I called and was like, hey, what's up? And they're like, oh, the insurance company never contacted us. So we're just sort of sitting around. I was like hey what's up and they're like oh the insurance company never contacted us so we're just sort of sitting around i was like what so finally i guess i get it i'm gonna get it this week some point but i guess i was just sitting there a whole week so that's cool anyway i've been walking you know back and forth the office my mom was like hey take your father's

car you can use it to get around if you need to go to the grocery store. You need to go do anything. I was like, all right, cool. That's fine by me. Thank you for allowing me to have the car. So I proceeded to go to the office one day, park my car there. I showed up, I don't know, like two in the afternoon. I was just gonna

like do a few things and leave i come out after i'm done no car there like what and i thought i maybe was crazy and maybe i left it at home and i just walked because i've just been walking and so maybe i would like. I have no idea what I thought at the time. I was like, oh, what? And then I panicked. I was like, wait, did someone steal my dad's car? And I was like, oh, no. Then I was like, wait, did someone just tow my dad's car?

Why would they? So I couldn't figure out what had happened. And I like panicked. I called the guy who we're renting the office from. I was like, I don't know what's going on, dude. And he was like, oh my God, it was towed. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, there's a guy there.

And if he doesn't recognize cars that park inside the lot, he tows them. And I was like, what? He's like, yeah, he's kind of a pain in the ass. He does that kind of thing. If you don't have a, like a, like a card that says that you're supposed to be like one of those like you know rear window like uh you know you stick it in the rear view window yeah yeah uh or mirror i don't know window whatever you know what i mean you stick the little tag so he's like if you don't have one of those he toes your ass i'm like are you okay so what now and he's like well first you

gotta find out where it was towed to i'm like oh my god it's like there's this number you can call it they'll get they'll you know they'll get all the information for you it's like all right so i call the number and they're like hello sir this is bruffy's towing and i'm like hi bruffy my name is jesse i'm looking for a car and and i like try to describe the car to them and I'm like hi bruffy my name is Jesse I'm looking for a car and I like try to describe the car to them and they're like we don't have that in the system okay are you sure because I'm pretty sure you towed it and they're like well

do you have the VIN number I'm like I do not do you have the license plate I'm like I do not it's not my car it is my father's car and they're like alright well all you gotta do is bring your license that is registered to the car and come down. I'm like, I am not the guy who owns the car. It is my father.

I'm like, well, you're going to need your father to come help you. I'm like, can I just get the VIN number? And they're like, sure, but you have to call back. I'm like, okay, fine. So I then call my parents. I'm like, mom, do you have the VIN number for dad's car? She's like, what happened? Like the car, I think got towed and I'm trying to verify that it got towed.

And she's like, well, I don't have the VIN number. I'm like, oh my God. So it's now like seven o'clock, eight o'clock at night. And we're looking for this VIN number. She finally finds it on the insurance. She's like, okay, I have it. She sends it to me. I type it out in my phone on my little notepad where I type everything.

And then I call the guys back at Bruffy's. I'm like, hey, hi, I have the VIN number. And it's a different person this time. I'm like, oh, my God. So I have to re-explain everything. Give them the VIN number. And they're like, all right. So, yeah, just give me the last four of the VIN number.

That's all I need. Don't need the rest of it. Don't need the rest of it. I'm like, okay. So I said the last four. They're like, yep, we have the car. Um, do you have your license on you? I'm like, it's not my car. It's my father's car. I don't have the license. I only have my license. Like, do you have like, do you have the plate number? I'm like, no, I don't have it. I've never once looked at the plate number. I cannot help you there. Like,

all right, we're going to need the full VIN number. I'm like, all right, I guess. Okay. So I pull the phone away from my face and the notepad screen was still on apparently. And I, my beard erased the VIN number. So now I'm on the phone. I'm like, I think I erased the, I'm so sorry. I'm so dumb. I think I've erased the VIN number. And they were like, uh-huh. I'm like, no, you think I'm lying to you? I'm not lying to you think I've erased the VIN number. And they were like, uh-huh. I'm like, no, you think

I'm lying to you. I'm not lying to you. I literally just erased it. I don't know. There is no one do. I don't know how to get it back. I like, I can call my parents. Like, you know what? You know what, sweetie? You know what? Just come down here. Here's our address. Bring your license, bring your paperwork, bring all the stuff. and then we'll deal with it here. I'm like, oh my God. So I'm like, mom, hi. She's like, what is it? I'm like, yeah, so I'm going to need y'all to come down here and get me

and drive me to the tow yard or wherever. And my mom's like, oh my God. Okay. So she's like, oh my god. Okay. So she she's like, I have to be up tomorrow morning early to go to the doctors. But like, alright. I guess this is what I'm doing now. I'm like, thank you mom. So then

she comes down, picks me up. She has all my dad's. My dad clearly was not having it. He was definitely angry. Because he was already like, they probably ruined the front of the car when they towed it i'm like yeah your 2002 like falling apart car is certainly that's the problem i was like dad if there's a problem i will literally have it repaired i will pay to fix it do not stress but obviously he wasn't having it so my mom came to get me and she's tired and all messed up.

And like, she does not drive at night. She just doesn't. And so the phone was like, follow the route to. And so it led us, this is like 20 minutes away, this place. And we had to get on the highway. My mom does not drive on the highway at night. She's already like losing her mind we're i have to like collect all this information find all this stuff we finally get

to this this place we go inside and uh the guy it seemed like this dude was used to people coming in and trying to fight him for their cars back so you already kind of had like this attitude of like oh boy here we go i have never been so defeated i've walked up to this guy just like hello sir i'm here to get my car and he was like yeah okay what can i do it's like i just here's all the information he's like okay i'm gonna need this i'm like here information. He's like, okay, I'm going to need this. I was like, here it is. It's like, I'm going to also need them. Like, here's this thing too. He's like, okay. It's been $157.

Like, all right. I wasn't even going to fight. I was so, it was like, I don't know, at 10 PM at this point, I was so beat down. I was just like, yeah, okay. So I, so I got all this information for the card paid for it the guy was like all right so you got to drive back down literally to where i had started the night and across from where our office is is like an impound lot and it was in there. Huh. And so I had to go all the way back to that spot, and he's like, yeah, just press the call box, and then a guy will be out to meet you.

I'm like, okay. So we drive all the way back, and I'm like, well, at least I can be in the car with my mom and make sure she gets home. I'm like, I'm fine with this. Right? She's not used to driving at night. This is fine.

We get all the way back. And then, uh, I get to the call box, press the button and there's another car in the lot with us. And that guy's like, yo dude, I already pressed it. They're sending a guy out. Don't worry. Should be here in like five to 10 minutes. I was like, okay, cool.

So I guess there's someone else waiting for a car. So I go sit in the car with my mom. And then a tow truck pulls up. And I get out of the car and hand the guy the paperwork. And I look up. The guy I hand it to is the dude who was just in the other building. So we literally met a guy in one place. Then waited for him in another place. So then I go. He's like, yeah, your car it's in the back on the right.

Like, okay. So I walk into a pitch black junkyard. Like it is, there are car parts everywhere and the car is somewhere in the back, right? It is pitch black after like get the light on my phone as i'm searching for this damn car and i see in the back corner the car's there when i sort of turn on the you know the the light whatever that thing is like the uh you know like my brain just died the alarm oh it was a long day and so i i go to look for the alarm and i see the lights blink i'm like oh okay well there it is i walk over and there's like half a beat-up car in front of it like oh my god so i have to

like back out kind of sideways around a beat-up car take it out the minute i get out of the parking lot my mom's like stop let me see the front of the out of the parking lot, my mom was like, stop. Let me see the front of the car. Oh my God. So clearly my dad was like, check the front of the car, check the front of the car. They damaged the car. So my mom was like, it's all right. I was like, thank you. And then I, the first thing I did is I drove and got a milkshake. I was like, I don't give a shit about anything anymore. I was like, I don't give a shit about anything anymore. And I realized as I was drinking that milkshake,

I have not felt that way since like I was in trouble as like a high schooler. You know what I mean? Like where your parents had to bail you out of some dumb shit you did. And this was that. It was the same feeling. And I was like, I can't. like i i can't i'm an adult i'm an adult and this is happening it i'm grateful my parents were there it made it a whole lot easier but also it made me realize like oh my god this sucks like this is i will never not be their kid i am permanently their child forever i will always be a little boy and i was like god damn it this sucks and i just drank that milkshake like

yeah so that was a whole day of my life gone 73 and they'll be like 95 like Jesse pull your pants up and tuck in your shirt I mean that's that's the problem is that's like the way I think it's that way forever and I get it like I get it now when they're always like you'll always be our little boy like that kind of stuff I get it

because it's true no matter what if they're doing it right I suppose they're always taking care of your dumb ass, because you're never not going to make mistakes in life. And so I guess having parents around to take care of your stupidity works. But also, all it did was make me be like, all right, I don't want to drive this car anymore. I've already caused enough trouble.

It doesn't make any sense for me to drive this car around. Can I just give it back to you? My mom was like was like it's already too late you might as well just keep driving it i was like oh i don't know i hate this car and so then at some point this week i got a text message from my mom she was like hey um so you know your dad's car i'm like yeah she's like well i read that right now dealers are buying back old cars because they're running out of cars for renting or whatever or leasing and uh if you want to sell your car back to the dealer you could probably make some money and then you could just keep your dad's car i was like what she's like yeah you just keep dad's car, and then you can just sell your car back.

And I literally replied, LOL, no. I was like, nah, I'm never going to do that. This is, no, I'm fine. Just take that car from 2002. There you go. Take this car that literally, as you drive it, the back shakes. Some might call that a feature. Take this 20-year-old car and just like, yeah, you're 2018?

Don't even worry about it. That's a garbage car. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was a week. It certainly was a week, and I, i honest to god do not wish it on anyone it was comical but also what a hassle like if i am fortunate enough that i had the 157 dollars lying around to pay for it because if i if i was going paycheck to paycheck i'd be done i'd be ruined i would have i would have been one of those crime stoppers where, like, my car got towed.

I went back to the office and found that dude who towed it and beat him to death. Like, if I didn't have the money, I would, like, I know who this dude is. Like, if I ever see him again, I don't know what I'm going to do. Because I'm so mad at him. But, like, at least I can handle it. If I couldn't and he, like, prevented me from getting to work to earn a living for, I don't know, my three kids or whatever, I would have lost it on this guy. That's what happened to me this week. Man, that is...

That's a trip. It was. It was. It was. Trip not very far. Ironically, no. Most of it was driving to a place to pay a guy money and then come back and it was all, it all took place roughly in like a three block area. Except for the one part we had to like leave the entire city.

So dumb. Well, you know what? It's not about how many hours he had to wait and how many miles he had to walk and how many people he had to talk to. It's about the friends he made along the way. The friends I made, I think, at the end of the day. I once again reaffirm my mom is pretty ride or die. I will say that. I'm going to shout out to my mom for being ride or die.

I want to say that she's always been there for me. Shout out to you, Mom. Thanks a lot. No one ever says that. Everyone's like, my homie's a ride or die. No one's like, shout out to mom, ride or die. Ride or die, mom. Ride or die.

Damn, my mom goes hard. She showed up when I needed her the most. Shout out to my mom. Well, thank you. Oh, I know she's going to listen to this and be like That's my boy It's like I end an episode It's like that's my boy Yeah roll credits

Is that all your weekly adventures Or or do you have other things? I have other things, but one of them is a long dream, and I feel like I should save it for next time. All right, save the dream. Yeah. Save the dream! Save the dream, save the world. Damn. Well, you know what else you can save?

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I can eat it for dinner and then have the leftovers the next day for lunch. It works really, really well. And they're simple. Like I, there are recipes an idiot, even like me can make. All you got to do is go to hellofresh.com slash Cox 14 and use code Cox 14 for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping. It's that simple. Go to hellofresh.com slash Cox14 and use code Cox14 for 14 free meals plus free shipping. HelloFresh, it's America's number one meal kit. Also today we're brought to you by Babbel. The summer is here and all of us are thinking about traveling. We are all hoping soon to be able to do so. Some of us are just already doing it.

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Traffic is going along right now. We're cruising along the North Pole. It looks like there's a backup. Polar bears and penguins are waiting to get into the cave. And Santa is way behind them. He's in his sleigh. Some people are wondering what Santa does in his off time. Well, he's stuck in traffic. He's behind the penguins and the polar bears today.

They're all trying to get into the cave. What's inside the cave? Who knows? Could be be toys could be uh i don't know food maybe they're just trying to get some food in there uh you know could be a deep dish pizza could be hot dogs could be spaghetti we don't know who knows what's in cave, but they all want to get in that cave. And you know, I don't know how I got here. Back to you. Spaghetti in that cave? You know what? I'm not even going to question it. Don't question it. I will say, it is in the

North Pole, but I feel like it's very close. I saw an ad today for Alaska. It's like, come to Alaska. Get away from everything. And I was like, you know what? I'm kind of feeling that. I don't know what it was. Like, maybe I should just go to the wilderness of Alaska. I'd probably get eaten by a bear.

One of those bears waiting for spaghetti just gets tired and looks at me. That's possible. Or, like, get hit by a moose or something. Yeah. I mean, like, all those things are very possible to happen to me especially. But I just felt like, you know, maybe, maybe now's the time. Maybe it is. Maybe it is.

Maybe it's, I become like an old man who lives in the wilderness. I'm like, I live in the fresh north now. Every time you tune in the podcast, Crenner's like, here's the wild thing I did today. And I'm like, today I fought with a bear. My very life. The bear thought he was going to get me, but I punched him in the snows I did. And then we kissed. I kissed that bear with my lips, I did.

Here's my girlfriend now. Her name is Belina. Yeah, but like, that's one week. What would happen the next week? Yeah, that's just the first week. You're right. You're right. I get bored.

I get bored of it. Yeah. But at least you'd have like a few weeks. You'd be like, I broke up with the bear and not date a moose. Yeah. Well, you know, I'm fickle like that. Oh, my God. I forgot.

You sent me that TikTok guy that's like talking in tongues and like warping in portals. The other night I found a TikTok. This guy. He's got like a David Lynch vibe to him. Yes. He looks like if David Lynch designed a character based on him, but like cranked up to 11. And his videos are all like, so today I'm exposing the truths about the world around us and it just goes on like that for the rest of the video and you're like what

is this and then he uses weird filters like walks up to people he's like do you like pants do you have pants on today and they're like uh what is it do you like pants? Do you have pants on today? And they're like, uh, what? He's like, do you like pants? It's wild. There's one, he like lights a cigarette and he's just like, why do we walk? Why do we walk? You know, why do we, why, why are we walking? Who knows the beach?

That's it. Say la jamalelly i love it if uh maybe i understand tiktok now it was the first thing i saw that i had to send to someone else i literally like crendor will love this he's like a portal filter he's like the portal is open the portal is open then he like shows himself in the portal and then he like it's like using a filter but then he just disappears so he's like filming the sky in the filter and it's just weird again crazy i saw it was like this is the most crendor thing i've ever seen it was very me i enjoyed it i knew of all the people in the world, I knew you would enjoy it. So that's the trap.

Okay, let's go to weather. Weather time. I figured we would just go to Tokyo because it's Olympics, right? It is the Olympics. Alright, Tokyo, Japan. Tokyo,

Tokyo Prefecture? What's that mean? You know, it's like a county, I guess, would be the best way to describe it. Oh, okay. Wait, so is this Tokyo County or are we in Tokyo, Tokyo? Well, I mean, so the Prefecture of Tokyo has Tokyo in it. Oh, okay. I got you. I get Tokyo has Tokyo in it. Oh, okay. I got you.

I get what you're saying. All right. Tokyo. Right now, 86 degrees as of 1234 p.m. Japan Standard Time. I take it JST means Japan Standard Time. 90 degrees it's feeling like right now. of 88 low of 73 got a humidity of 53 percent pressure of 29.64 inches visibility nine miles winds at eight miles an hour southwest dew point 67 uv index 6 of 10 moon phase waning gibbous waning gibbous moon 4 44 a.m sunrise 6 50 p.m sunset and you got your 10 day for the

upcoming olympic stuff you got 82 with thunderstorms 86 partly cloudy 91 isolated thunderstorms then you got 90 90 90 scattered scattered scattered thunderstorms every day and then 88 thunderstorms 90 thunderstorms 87 thunderstorms a lot of thunderstorms every day and then 88 thunderstorms 90 thunderstorms 87 thunderstorms a lot of thunderstorms and a lot of hot weather so i don't know how that's gonna play out sure sure but i did see a lot of olympic people are like like fainting from the heat? I did. I mean, I've heard a lot of stories about things that are happening. So, it sounds to me like it's not the greatest Olympics games. Olympics games? That's right.

It sounds to me like it's not the greatest Olympics games, but it is Olympics. That's the weather. Okay. Let's go to sports. Sports. We've got the weather. Okay, let's go to sports. Sports, we've got the Olympics. Actually, we'll start with some other sports. Basketball, the Milwaukee Bucks, the NBA champions. Congratulations to the Milwaukee Bucks and Giannis Antetokounmpo.

Glad the Bucks won. Big fan. Well, big fan is in probably my second favorite team now. I was about to say, is that true? Is that true? You know what? As a Packers fan, I'm like, you know what? I'll adopt another Wisconsin team when they're doing stuff.

Might as well. Football's going to be starting up a couple weeks. That's pretty fun. That's pretty exciting. And then hockey draft happened. Basketball drafts will be happening next week. Well, this week, I guess, technically. And baseball started the second half of the season.

The baseball trade deadline is coming up. A lot of stuff happened there. Padres acquire All-Star Adam Frazier from the Pirates. So big trade deal there. And we've got a few more days of the trade deadline before it hits. So there's going to be a lot more trades happening. Definitely some with the Cubs. Over in the AL East, you've got Boston and Tampa Bay.

Up top, you've got the White Sox. Top of Central with Cleveland five games behind. Houston, top of the West. Top of the East, you've got the Mets. Central, you've got the Brewers. And the West, you've got the Giants with the Dodgers right behind. Olympics. So in the Olympics right now, they are happening.

Did you watch the Olympic opening ceremony thing? I watched clips of it mostly to see them play uh like chrono trigger music in the background of the olympics i was like this is so weird i love it i didn't even know they were gonna do that and they're like and here comes uh zimbabwe and it was like then i was like is this final fantasy like that was like i don't even know and then it was like it's like this is so weird but i like if i was gonna do that i would demand that they let my country have its own like you know like we get to choose which our song is yeah because i would pick like some real gems from old rpgs like some really weird ones they're also it was also weird because they had like some countries like italy they have pizza

and like oh man here's uh france they have the eiffel tower and then they'd be like here's this country had chernobyl it was like oh you go from like pizza and the Eiffel Tower to Chernobyl. I mean, some people, that's like the biggest thing that's happened to them. Yeah, I was like, alright. But yeah, I saw that. And then currently, the medals. So right now, China is in

first with 13 medals. They got 6 gold, 2 silver, 5 bronze. United States in second with 5 gold, 3 silver, 4 bronze with 13 medals they got six gold two silver five bronze united states and second with five gold three silver four bronze with 12 medals then third is a tie between japan and australia however japan has five gold medals and one silver australia has two gold one silver three three bronze, and then South Korea with five medals, two gold, zero silver, and three bronze. Those are the top five according to Google. Google.

Did you see that swimmer from Tunisia? That's the only thing I've really caught up on. I did not. What was that? Let me verify he was from Tunisia. Oh, I just swapped with the athletes, and I do see him now. Tunisia, swimming. It was, yeah.

This guy, so he was like in the eighth lane, and he came like a rocket and just destroyed the 400-meter freestyle. And I was like, damn, that's pretty amazing. Considering most people don't associate Tunisia with, like, the high desert with swimming. Yeah, that's true. That's like when Florida wins at hockey or something. Right? I was like, damn, that dude just perfect timing.

He even said in the interview, he said the day before he felt really good in the water, but today for some reason he felt lighter and better. He got in the water and he just knew it was his time to win. Yeah, you get that surge. That competitive, like, yeah like competitive like yeah god this is my time to shine right i can see that i can see that yeah um yeah so he just had that plus you know you also need the athletic ability and training and yeah i mean oh yeah no like for sure for sure it's not like you just show up like you know what i've got i think i could it. And you like go out and play like professional basketball or something. Like, well, all right.

Well, I had my one day. Hey, I think I can do this. Oh my God. Like some of the other stuff I was watching, like ping pong or table tennis. Like that's, it looks crazy. Like they serve and they're just like, they're all crunched up and they're like, and then they're like, and I was like, what the shit? The guys who were like, Like they serve and they're just like all crunched up and like anyone then they're like people feel bad

It's like what the shit the guys were like They're so passionate I'm trying to think of what else have been watch. I just put on like Olympics It's like it swaps between all the highlights everything or whatever. There's like tennis was on. I was like, yeah, tennis is all right. There was, I know basketball. Team USA lost their first game to France. There was like three on three games.

Those were crazy to watch. It was like watching freestyle basketball. I love that. I was watching the freestyle basketball. It was neat. Did they play the songs? I wish they did. They did not.

That would have really amped it up to another level. I would have watched at that point. Yeah. There was Badminton. That was actually pretty crazy to watch. There was the diving. Diving looked pretty crazy. I can't imagine diving. I can barely swim.

I can swim, but I hate it. I mean't imagine diving. I can barely swim. I can swim, but I hate it. I mean, I love swimming. I hate water, but I love swimming. Oh yeah, I saw archery. Archery was pretty neat. Archery is always fun because for some reason, the archery

does not look like how you imagine archery. Like, in your mind, you think, like, dudes in Sherwood Forest. But in reality, it's like they got glasses and, like, laser sights and shit. It's crazy. I want an archery where they have to use old-timey medieval bows. Yes. You know that wind resistance?

Like, if you win, you win the maiden's heart. No medals will be had this day. Only brides. Yeah. I want that, too. That'd be fun. I would prefer that, yeah. So, yeah, that's sports.

Okay, what is the big... I don't know. What are we calling this? The big fact. The fact of the day. Fact of the day. Let's see. We got two that I'm going to choose from here.

One's kind of like whatever. It's a myth that people are either left-brained or right-brained. Pretty much you use both sides of your brain. But can you not say that someone uses one side more than the other? It says you may have been told at some point in your life that you're either left or right brain the story goes people who are left brain dominant are more quantitative logical and analytical while right brain individuals are more emotional intuitive and creative free spirits however this theory isn't true on the contrary most behaviors and abilities require the right and left sides of the brain to work

together to achieve a common objective so while you may have certain qualities and characteristics that define who you are, they have nothing to do with what side of your brain you use more. I would say that it can also, like, I don't know, you know what, I don't know anything about the brain. I was just like, well, can't you

tap into your more analytical, like, but I don't know. Use your brain to use to analyze. analytical like but i don't know your brain to use to analyze yeah clearly i don't know what the hell i'm talking about i'm no neuroscientist i'd rather just i'm over here like well i don't know that i 100 believe that but clearly i have no more knowledge than i had coming into this conversation so what the hell do i know uh i also want to read this one cats Cats once delivered mail in Belgium. That is the best fact I've ever heard.

In the 1870s, the city of Liege, Belgium, attempted to employ 37 felines as mail carriers. Messages were tucked into waterproof bags that the kitties would carry around their necks. However, while one cat apparently made it to the destination in under five hours, the other cats took up to a day to complete their journeys. Due to the fact that the cats weren't very reliable and definitely were not speedy, the service did not last very long. That sounds right. That sounds...

Those cats are probably reading the mail all day. They went off to the woods somewhere to read the mail like this guy. Or he's got a third of the way Like I'm sleeping This isn't worth it I like my version where the cats can read And they read our mail I like my version the cats have little mail uniforms

And they go They have little mail bags and they talk to us And they're like hello Meowster So it's monster hunter right right that's what it is right well those those are your facts okay what's your big new story today big new story of the day uh this one we're going back to the roots of florida man get ready are you ready?

I mean, I'm hanging in. I'm bated breath. Did you need me to say Florida, man? Because we're there. I'm in it. Yes, I did. Okay. Well, now I'm doing it.

All right. All right. Oh, Florida, man. You're like, no, I'm doing it. Then you didn't do it. Well, I thought that I no, I'm doing it. And then you didn't do it. Well, I thought that I had already previously done it before. No, you didn't. Florida man.

Well, now you've already done it. All right, whatever. Florida man steals alligator from golf course, tries teaching it a lesson by throwing it on roof of bar. I would love to know what that lesson is i don't either i don't like what is the lesson he's trying to teach okay here we go daytona beach shores a florida man told police officers he was teaching it a lesson when he tried to throw a live alligator he had stolen from a miniature golf course onto the roof of a beachside cocktail lounge.

The 32-year-old man was arrested early Thursday when Daytona Beach Shores police officers spotted him attempting to throw the gator onto the roof of the cocktail lounge located just off Highway A1A. The officers then saw the man take the alligator by its tail, hit it against the awning of the building, throw it to the ground, and stomp on it. Oh my god! The man from Homestead, Florida was taken into custody charged with possession and injury of an

alligator, unarmed burglary of an occupied dwelling, theft, and criminal mischief. The man told officers that he had stolen the gator from an enclosure at a nearby miniature golf course. An online court docket showed no attorney for the man.

Online court docket said no one would take this man's case. What the shit? Why is he like throwing the gator around? I thought he like threw it on the roof and that was it. He's like stepping on it. See, here's the thing. We thought when he said teach it a lesson, we thought it was like, that's why you don't get on top of roofs, Gator. And the reality is this guy meant it like, I'm going to teach him a lesson, fist punch.

And so now the question becomes like, what did that Gator do to this man? Yeah, what did that Gator do to this man? And he's like, this is like an unfair fight. Yeah. Let the Gator fight too, right? And he's like, this is like an unfair fight. Yeah. Like, let the gator fight too, right?

I mean, I would say any time a definite meth-using drunk guy from Florida fights anyone, it's already a disadvantage. Because that guy's powered by, like, ungodly strength. Yeah. Also, this guy definitely looks like a meth-using drunk guy. You don't even need to show me him to know that I know he looks like a meth using you don't even need to show me him to know that i know he looks like a meth user i'm gonna show you anyway just to clarify your suspicions oh yeah oh yeah here's how i knew he was a meth user immediately what city is this daytona beach shores there you go not daytona beach daytona beach shores the minute you have to add that extra thing onto any major city that's in Florida, I know they kept the name because it sounded cool,

but really it's the shores part that's the problem. Yeah. There are a lot of places in Florida that are just like Orlando Springs. And you know Orlando Springs is not Orlando, but they keep Orlando in the name so people still want to move there. But trust me, it is not Orlando. Plus, I mean, I knew he was a meth user right when it was like he threw the alligator on a roof. Like, that's already a telltale sign.

I mean, obviously, yes. I mean, anytime you do anything with an alligator, there's already a problem. I also have a question. Why does a golf course, miniature golf course, with an alligator yeah there's already a problem i also have a question uh why does a golf course miniature golf course have an alligator yeah i think everyone's ignoring this one i mean you're right i did i completely i didn't even think about that you're right you're right like why why do they need a live gator is he just there to like sit in a cage be be like wow a gator is like He there like I don't understand This is the crazy part

If this was any other place I'd be like oh The gator is part of the attraction You could go to see the gator But it's Florida There's gators everywhere Yeah that's no attraction That's probably if anything Just a gator who got in the golf park

and then like they could they were like should we get rid of it like nah that's a lot of work i don't know i guess he lives here now this is his home that's possible it is florida daytona springs or whatever That's possible. It is Florida, Daytona Springs, whatever. That's your big news story of the day. All right. Well, that's it for us.

Thanks so much for listening or watching or enjoying this podcast. I have no water. My throat is dry. All I have is this damn soda. I'm dying over here. Crandor is with the socials. We youtube.com Slash Cox Crendor podcast Listen to all the podcasts over there All one word on the youtube channel

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jessicox. Patreon Crendor. And that's it. Okay, that's it. We'll see y'all next time. And as always, wow. To be continued.