Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 301 - Crendor's Fantasy Life

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

The boys are back with another episode and this time Jesse has done the impossible! 7 whole days of exercise!? Is this a world first?! Also Crendor has officially spent too much time at the Renn Faire and now decided to write a book. What could his masterpiece be about!? Also a man learns to fly and apparently subway reddit is a thing. All this and more on this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://ritual.com/COX to get 10% off during your first 3 months! Go to http://getquip.com/crendor5 to get $5 off a Mouthwash Starter Kit including a refillable dispenser and a 90-day supply.

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip is here to get your teeth looking their best. Also today, we're brought to you by Ritual. Ritual is here to get your body feeling its best. And we'll talk about that as well. Let's jump into this podcast! Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! This is Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning! We're broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's the Cox and Crendog in the morning! Crendog in the morning! Hello everybody and welcome to this other episode, another exciting and echoey episode of the

Cox and Crandor Show in the Daytime. What the shit did you just say? Greetings everyone and welcome to the show of the Cox and Crandor, where we strike while the iron's hot in the 18th century podcast the podcast the show right yeah what's going on uh i mean you know it's um it's going i boy So right before we started, I was like, I did a bunch of like workout stuff today because I'm trying to

work out every single day. I'm trying to be that guy. And I suck at that, but I'm doing it so far. I've gone an entire week without stopping. Usually I'm like, I can take two days off. I'm at,

I'm at seven to seven already. Now, are we talking like five-minute workout? Are we talking like 30-minute workout? What are we talking? Well, I do at least two miles a day plus lifting weights right now. Except I'm lifting weights every other day. Okay. That's pretty solid.

I mean, how many weight weight things you lift in there I mean not a great deal Just what I have in my home So we're looking at the The Bowflex Like the weights that have the clicker things You know what I mean Yeah so I'm just using those

Bicep curls Yeah I have a chart I have like a chart that I stole off some guy's TikTok And I'm using it and it has like a whole bunch of like different ones and so you know i'm using the bench plus i'm using the i'm getting the curls and i'm doing like the reverse things and i'm laying down and doing like the the bench press things doing the whole what are you benching? What are you curling? Right now, I'm doing 35 on each side for the longest

set for three reps. Three sets? Three reps? Whatever it's called. And then I'm doing one at 50 at the end. And it's on each side. So I think it's like 100 on each. I think the max. So you're benching that, yeah? Yeah, I mean, it's nowhere near hundred on each. I think the max. So you're like, you're benching that.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's nowhere near what I imagine an actual weight room would provide, but like it's getting the job done. Yeah. I mean, that's not bad.

And then, uh, yeah. And so then I'm just kind of like going through the motions, trying to get it done today. I, I had that, you know,

that thing, you know, that thing that you have Crandor that like now I done today I I had that you know that thing you know that thing that you have Crandor that like now I have apparently where I had a bunch of things I had to do today and I had an hour in between things I was like well there's no way I'm gonna do it tonight so I got so like in that hour I crammed in another uh two miles for my I got one of them programs on me. Yeah, so I crammed it in and it was pretty good. And then I of course was like

oh, I have plenty of time to like cool down and dry off and no, I did not actually. I was still sweaty when I joined another phone call and I was like, cool because I have a sweat thing. Like I don't, it's weird when I work out, I'm not like a big sweater, but when I'm done, my body's like, uh, what?

And then it like drenches. And it's weird. I don't know why that is. I don't know if that's like a normal thing for humans. But when I'm working out, I'm not like sweating all that much. But then when I'm done, suddenly my body's just like. That was water exploding out of me. And it will last like that for a while.

Then if I go take a shower, I will then continue to sweat afterwards. That is a lot of sweating. It's a lot. I have to have a good hour cool down afterwards. I know. Well, you try being fat. It's a thing.

Alright, fair enough. You know, it's like a thing. And so, yeah, I'm working at it. And this past week, I was convinced by my new assistant, Julia, to get up early and do it. Nah, that's not for me. Woke up.

Because, as I've mentioned, I have like a cool down period afterwards that i need to like get through you know so i woke up at five because i was like oh well if i'm in my mind i'm like all right i'm gonna work out for an hour that's six then i need at least an hour cool down so that's seven i gotta be in the office by nine so i I'll have like an hour. Then I'll go take a shower. Then I'll get dressed. And then I'll like, you know, make breakfasty stuff and have a whole. And then I'll be good.

Let me tell you, dude, that sucked so bad. That was, I woke up. I realized over the years, my direct day, like the way my day begins every single day is I wake up, immediately go to the bathroom, take a shower. The shower is what gets me awake. I cannot do anything until I've had my shower. And taking a shower before you work out defeats the purpose. So I was working out literally like a zombie.

Like everything about me was like bones were snapping. And I was like, I was hearing noises, creaks in my body. And I was like, I've never heard this before. This sucks. So never again. I can't take morning showers. I only take night showers. Well, see, that's crazy to me what because then you get in bed and then you like you're in the bed and then in bed you're all like

gunky and then you wake up and then you go about your shower no no no but you're like doesn't your hair get all messy and don't you like look like goof what what are you talking your beard doesn't get like all out of whack and then you gotta you don't have problems in the morning no damn it's gotta be one of them fat guy things this sucks this sucks every time i wake up i'm like you know sometimes I'm like all right pretty good sometimes I wake up in like a sleep cycle or something I'm kind of like and then get up I feel fine uh and then I usually make my coffee coffee's what gets me going I have my coffee and then I make my breakfast I've been alternating my breakfast now I either have uh my oatmeal with walnuts and like a fruit. Or I started doing the millennial thing.

I started making the avocado toast. Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How are you rolling with that avocado? What are you doing to that? Well, I mean, I just get some Dave's Seed bread. All right. It's called Dave's Bread. I actually know what you're talking about. I love Dave's Bread.

I unabashedly love it. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. It's good bread. It's good. Yeah, I agree. You get some seeds, and then usually I just take the avocado. I just cut the top part, and then I spread it on, and I eat it. Okay.

I saw a very simple recipe, and I was like, it's literally just the avocado, but then like some olive oil on there. I was like, okay, okay. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's pretty good.

So usually I'll have that, and then I'll do like, I'll see what I got to do that day, do like some video stuff, or maybe like start doing errands Then I'm like after this couple hours That's when I hit the gym So usually I go to the gym like 3-4 hours

After I wake up I mean that's like kind of Me I will It'll be like after work So I'll leave at 4.35ish Get home, work out. Or this past week I had a few where it was like 8 p.m. where I worked out. But that's fine.

Yeah, but then when you go to bed, you're all like sweaty and like gunky because you didn't. No way, because I took a shower after I worked out. Yeah, but you're still like getting sweaty and gunky throughout the day. So you want to take a night shower? I did. Before I worked out, before I went to bed. Oh, yeah, dude. getting sweaty and gunky throughout the day so you want to take a night shower i did before before i like after i worked out before i went to bed yeah oh yeah dude i've been taking two showers

oh yeah oh yeah i got you i got you yeah see my thing is you know this is how i roll i you can't look i saw that that uh article that was you know about celebrities who were like, I don't shower every day. Here's the thing. I feel like incredibly attractive people can get away with that. But like us sluggos over here, we got to shower as much as humanly possible to stay clean. That's just how it works out here in the real world. I know they're like, well, your essential oils, like F that. The only thing essential about my oils is getting them off of my body

because I'm gross no thank you I'd rather smell like awesome shower goodness 24 7 rather than like your natural self get out of town that's gonna be it it's gotta be an episode 400 quote I'll need these oils on me get them off of me Yeah I don't I mean At least like once a day You need like at least one shower To me it's like When I take a shower at night

That's like part of my bedtime thing Cause you like You heat your body temperature or whatever And then your body temperature drops right after It's usually it's like take shower And then you go to bed And then you're like And it helps you fall asleep

So you're not all relaxed. I don't know if that's true. Maybe for you. It's definitely true. Okay. All right. I'm so defensive. That's it.

I defend. All right, here we go. Should you shower before bed? How showering at night helps you sleep. Research shows that taking a warm shower or bath daily can help you fall asleep faster. Here's why. Throughout the day, your core body temperature naturally fluctuates in accordance with your circadian rhythm. Your circadian rhythm controls your sleep-wake cycle along with a host of other biological functions.

Among many other cues, your mind relies on body temperature to determine whether it's time to sleep or wake. The rapid cool down, or when you take a warm shower at night, you help aid this natural thermoregulation process. During the shower, your body heats up thanks to water. Then when you get out of the shower, it evaporates from your skin, cooling you down and signaling to your brain that it's time to sleep. Rapid cool down is the largest reason why a shower at night can help you sleep.

However, there's other reasons. They help you relax, they are cleansing, and they force you to disconnect. Yeah, look, I get it. I've been taking nighttime showers when I'm working out. I normally don't. If I don't work out, I don't take a nighttime shower. Don't you take a morning shower and you feel tired? No, I take a morning shower and it wakes me up.

Maybe if I take a cold morning shower, it will wake me up. Oh, I need like skin scorching hot shower in the morning. I want to feel it hurt a little bit. Like just a little bit. Like, oh, oh, that probably is ruining something! Ooh! Then you get all there, you scrub down, oh, yeah. No, that's gonna make me, like, fall asleep afterwards.

Maybe because my body's so used to taking showers and falling asleep, it just kind of does that. But, like, I would take a cold shower in the morning. You start it, like, a nice, like, a hot, kind of work it down, and boom, you hit yourself with the cold. Love it. Oh, see, I mean, like, my day usually is, like, shower, go to work, come home, work out, and then I'm able to stay awake. Because I have a problem where just, like, in school, whenever I get done with big swaths of anything, like any activity. When I was in high school or even college,

you go to class for the day and then you come home and then my body's just like, well, we did a bunch of stuff. What if we took a nap, dude? And I'm like, okay, and then I will ruin everything. So working out, what it is doing for me, at least recently, is I'm like, it jazzes me after work i'm like oh all right i can get stuff done and uh then it keeps me awake and then i'm like oh it's bedtime excellent time for bed right and i'm like boop in bed maybe 11 you know yeah i mean

yeah you know you know if it works for you I mean you do you it does work for me damn it it does if it works for you I assume you do you I was gonna say I saw your eye was flipping out too yeah um

I don't know what that was. It was like one day I went, everything was fine. I got to the office, turned on the lights in the back room. So the office that the setup we have is like a front area where there's like, you know, computers and editing and whatever. And there's a back area that is for recording. And in that area, we have these curtains that you can pull that make everything dark. But also dead in the sound. So it doesn't sound like

there's echoes like this. And what ended up happening is I turned on the lights in the room that are the giant sort of... I don't want to say neon. That's not correct. But the giant lights

that sort of light it up when you record stuff. And the minute I turned it on, my eye was like, YOW. And then it started flipping out and I don't know what had happened. I don't know if I looked at the light wrong or what, but the rest of the day, my eye was just like twitching and I couldn't, I had to turn all the lights off and open the windows or open the curtains so I could just get natural light and I was fine. But anytime that I walked into an area that had artificial light, my right eye was just twitching and I have no idea what happened.

And the next day was fine. Huh? Yeah. I can tell you medical mystery is what it was. Dr. John messaged me because people in the comments were like, so concerned. Like, just, you know, I'd be like, this could be big. And Dr. John was like, send me a picture of your face.

I'm like, what? He's like, I want to see your eyes. Open your eyes wide. I'm like, okay. So I sent him my eyes, and he's like, they look fine. I was like, yeah. I mean, it's just, I don't know what it is. It could be allergies.

It could be, I don't know, dude. But, you know, maybe I was just like stressed. Maybe I was stressed about something. You know, like when you have those nervous stress twitches. Oh, yeah. Stress can mess you up. Yeah. But I didn't feel stressed this week.

I had zero stress. So I don't know. I have no idea what happened. That's a lie. That's a lie. I was stressed at one point this week. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

So one morning I went to go get coffee. And there's this kind of chill I'm trying to think what the name of it's called. Like cafe earth or something. But earth is spelled with a U. You know what I mean? It's like that kind of place. Earth. And I was like, oh I kind of want a coffee from there.

And maybe a little croissant or something. And so I go to park and I see that there's a Porsche parked across like two parking spots. And already I'm just like, oof, this person, of course, of course, outside of cafe earth is a Porsche taking up two spots. So I go inside to get my coffee and there's like this woman in front of me and she's very loudly is like, why isn't my coffee

ready? And the woman behind the counter is like, you're up next ma'am. Don't worry. And of course the woman behind the counter again look like someone who would work at a place called Cafe Earth. Right. If she definitely had like the braid hair, it was great. Oh yeah. She looked like someone who would work at a place called Cafe Earth. With a U. Right. She definitely had like the braid hair.

It was great. Oh yeah. She looked. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't even need. I don't even need to describe it to you. You already know what I'm talking about.

Yeah. And she's like you're up next ma'am. Don't even worry. She's like I ordered online 10 minutes ago. She's like I know we're very busy ma'am. Like just you wait off to the side. We'll get your order. And She's like, I know we're very busy, ma'am. If you wait off to the side, we'll get you your order. She's like,

this is unacceptable. She's like, I understood. It's only been 10 minutes. Mind you, it was 742 on a Thursday. It's filled with people. There are people. It's packed. People are going to work She's like refusing to step aside

And she's like at least you could get me some water maybe And the girl's like There's a container With water right over there ma'am If you want to get some you can get it yourself But you have to get out of the line And she's just like I don't even want the water

i just want you to do your job at this point i'm standing behind her just like all i want is coffee like i don't i just wanted like some fancy like a fancy coffee like a latte or some garbage and you're over here just stinking up the storm so she moves off to the side and i'm like hey can i just get a latte and she's like of course so she you know everything's fine i um go off to the side and I'm like, hey, can I just get a latte? And she's like, of course. So she, you know, everything's fine. I go off to the side with this woman and we're standing there and waiting and I expect her order to come up. And then, you know, my order, because obviously she ordered 10 minutes ago online. So my order comes up and the woman looks at me and she goes, unbelievable. And the woman behind the counter is like ma'am

you placed an online order for 10 drinks 10 we are working on it and i just like take my drink and like leave i'm like oh my god so then i go out to my car and as i'm in my car turning it on out with like three trays in her hands, walking to the double parked porch is this woman. I was like, of course she's the one in the double parked porch. Of course. Of course. It was, I like saw a Karen in the wild and it was a beautiful moment. I was like, I can't believe I've actually, I was like, I should just go post this.

I was about to take photos and post it on like Reddit and be like guys I found one She was unbearable I was like I don't know who this person is But I know I hate her And I was just like oh my god everything about her She must have been having a bad day Or whatever but

Yeah no thanks And it made me laugh very hard I was like I need to tell Kandor about this Because that is That is definitely something that happened Yeah, no thanks. And it made me laugh very hard. I was like, I need to tell Kandor about this. That is definitely something that happened. It's one of those things where you hope they're having a bad day, because if they're not and that's how they are, then it's like, oh, boy. That's what I'm saying. I want to believe everyone is good.

Everyone just has bad days. But, oh, my God. Everything about this person, I was like, those are some red flags. That's some entitlement right there. I don't know that I like it. That was my big nonsense this week. At least you got your coffee. Or your latte.

Yeah. Oh my god. I don't know. Alright, this is a question not just to you, but to everyone else listening. This week, I was like driving down the road just, you know, in LA. And I saw a dude standing on top of a van while cops were trying to grab at him. And he was like T-posing. Here's the thing.

I think I've seen that before. I feel like I had deja vu. And I don't know if I mentioned it on this podcast, but when I was driving to the wedding a few months back, when I was out in the middle of the high desert, I saw a dude on a van with cops around him T-posing. And I can't figure out if this is a thing or I just happened to drive by two T-posing dudes on vans being arrested. Is there like a drug that makes you T-pose?

I don't know, but it flipped me out. When I saw it, it was like I was in the car in the middle of the desert again. Except this time I wasn't in a desert. This time I was just like driving down Crenshaw. I don't know what a Crenshaw is. It's a street. All is. It's a street. All right. It's just a street.

It's got to be, let's see, T-Pose. I don't even know what the, is it like a meme? What are you going to try and write? I don't know. T-Pose. There's a thing called T-pose memes. T-pose van cops. No, I don't see it.

T-pose memes. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how you keep seeing all these T-pose things, too. I haven't seen that. It's been twice. That's still two more times. I think most people. Yeah, I mean, you're right. Maybe that lady like got into her car

with all the drinks and then she like T-Posed and you just didn't know. If she T-Posed, I would be 100% convinced that I was in some sort of Truman Show thing. If she T-Posed and dropped, like she dropped dropped all of her coffees and T-posed, I would be convinced I was in Truman show.

I would be like, this is all fake. This is, I am in the Matrix. Yeah, honestly, I would believe you too at that point. If I was just like, I saw it twice and then this woman T-posed, I would lose my mind. Yeah, I'm looking it up. I saw one article that was like criminals posing with cops, but I feel like that's when they get arrested. I don't, yeah, nothing about it anywhere on the internet.

But also, I did type in T-pose van cops. The T-pose van cops. We'll be back after this short commercial break you can't arrest them just by T-posing I can and I will cause I'm a T-pose van cop they all get out of the van T-posing like one by one

ah shit it's the T-Pose Vaganton So what did you get up to This week I clearly I mean I know what happened to you today But what did you do this week Uh yeah so we had one of our Friends wanted to see the Ren Fairs We went back to the Ren Fair I think this is the final Ren Fair time

I'm getting Ren Fared out I was about to say, you seem like those people are like, Ren Faire once again this weekend. Let us go and be jovial. No, they wanted to see it and we were like, alright, so we took them there, but I was like, yeah, I think I've done

all my Ren Faire for the year. What finally broke the camel's back? Were you just like, you you know what I can only see so many mud brothers pretty much like there's only so much you can see and do and eat till you get to a point where you're like alright like we've done everything and we've

done it again and now it's just so many stores you can look at and you're like alright whatever what kind of stores do they have at the Ren Faire? I mean you know they got like little like shops with? I mean, you know, they got, like, little, like, shops with, like, board. I mean, I don't know. That's true.

You know. They got, like, board game shops. They had one that sold some dice. They bought dice at it. They had, like, a little cafe. A bunch of little cafe things. They got one that had honey. So I bought ginger honey.

They had some that sell, like, instruments. They got some that sell jewelry. They got some that sell, like, you know, like... But are they good instruments? Is it good jewelry? Because in my mind, it's just, like, cosplayers selling you the stuff they made the past week. It could be. I don't know.

selling you the stuff they made the past week it could be i don't know i think it's i think it's all made by people and they like buy shops and set it up there but they have like actual little buildings they buy so it's not like a tent or something oh well that sucks it should be a little tent it should be like come up me lords come up well they do that it's flagging up me maid they do actually like talk like that and try to get you in but they they have a Get yourselves a furnace flagging of me maid. Murder myself all I did with my missus. They do actually talk like that and try to get you in, but they have an actual building instead of a tent. Instead of a crappy tent. Or like a hut made of poop and leaves.

You know what I mean? You're going to like the Dark Ages, not the Renaissance. I mean, like, you know, Renaissance, fair, Dark Ages, whatever. For a Renaissance fair, they make it medieval. So that's, I mean like You know renaissance fair dark ages Whatever for a renaissance fair They make it medieval So that's I mean Yeah that's true too It's a little more medieval but whatever Either way you hit the point where it's like alright

I'll come back next year And then maybe you can go That'll be the fun time Oh my god that'll be the talk of the town Talk of the town Cause I'll show up and be like me lords Oh my god can I show up as a renaissance man Yeah if you want

A bunch of people dressing up Does anyone show up looking like they're like Michelangelo or Leonardo Uh I mean people look like they're dressing up At a Ren fair But you know they always look like they're from the middle ages You said it was a Ren fair So now you got me thinking Everyone dresses up like a Ren Fair. You know, they always look like they're from the Middle Ages. You said it was a Ren Fair. So now you got me thinking, everyone

dresses up like a lame pirate or like a lame villager or like a lame knight. Why can't I be a lame Renaissance man? If you want. I'll have like a pimp cane and be like, lo and behold, it's me, Cox-a-langelo.

Cox-a-angelo? It's me. Coxelangelo. Coxangelo? It's me, Coxangelo. I mean, there was a guy with a cane, but he's definitely not trying to be Michelangelo. I'm just saying, like, I want to show up in, like, flamboyant purples and have, like, flowing cuffs and be like, Well, hello. Shazai, I've come to purchase your wares. And then we'll make reaction videos where I break it in front of them.

That'll get the big time views. That'll get the views. So yeah, I did that. It was fun. Oh, I had my first writing class thing. Not really a not really a class more like they're helping me yeah uh so it's like i'm pretty much paying an editor like a professional editor to help me write my book i've been trying to write for like five years and i was just like yeah so i was like i got a bunch of ideas and i just don't know how to like organize them to the point where i can

begin writing and then they're like all right let's do this and then i spent two hours talking to them and then i was like all right nice they gave me a little like uh template of all the stuff and then they're like next week we're gonna like you're gonna have names for everything and we're gonna start on the first like chapter and the plot and like you know figure everything out and then go from there and i was like nice that's awesome yeah so i'm gonna do it my book is gonna be it's gonna be happening i'm i'm making the steps because i was like what is this book again tell me what is this book again it's a fantasy book okay and that's all i want to say about it because i haven't ironed out everything i'm gonna okay i'll talk about it once i kind of fantasy high fantasy low

fantasy uh no it's definitely more like grant like uh lord of the rings fantasy oh my god i want to know what lord of the rings style fantasy you're i know all right you don't have to say yes all right can there be a character called cox angelo no you have to say no you just have to say yes. Alright. Can there be a character called Cox Angelo? No. You didn't have to say no. You just didn't have to say yes. Definite no. Mr. Cox Angelo, the dragons are attacking the city too.

Don't bother me while I'm having a good whoring. Get out of here. That'll be the only thing he ever says yeah he's in it for like two seconds then his then then the brothel gets burnt scorched it gets burned down by the dragon i also i'm doing a proper whoring get out of here i also always wanted to write like a trilogy but i was like you know what i feel like that's for once you get better at writing so i'm just writing like a one-off fantasy book but i'm basing it in the world i would want my like trilogy later on to be in so if i did want to make a thing kind of like a lord of the rings and the hobbit are like

so you're making a hobbit is what you're telling me yeah i'm making a hobbit i can't i can't believe you've done this and so i was showing them my writing style, and they were actually like, this is actually pretty good. You're actually a pretty good writer. And they're like, you have pretty good action scenes and good dialogue. They're like, you just need to get better at your descriptions and paragraph description stuff. So, hey, that was a professional editor. I'll take that.

I can't wait for this for you. I'm excited. This is great. Yeah, I'm ready. And, yeah, so I got take that. I can't wait for this for you. I'm excited. This is great. Yeah, I'm ready. And, yeah, so I got my... It's the world that's not ready. I was bringing up ideas because I was like, I like basing a lot of fantasy themes off real life stuff because I think that's what a lot of fantasy books do anyway. So I'll give you one thing I want in my book that i mentioned to them that

they like which was okay you know how uh there's like people or animals get hit by cars and stuff all the time right and it's just like yes oh they got they went into the road they got hit by a car or like oh whatever i was like what if in this fantasy world there's just a place where you had to avoid because you would just get run over by some other creature that was just doing a thing like giants are carrying their uh like loot from somewhere like supplies or like some other creatures going really fast through an area and you got to get through there and people would just die and the giants just be like ah yeah it's just a human put them off the side i want to let you know that the minute you said you know how like we run over animals i was like oh my god please let him be like you know what if the humans were the animals

you read my mind this is the most crendor idea ever so they were just just like, oh, my God, that's a great idea. And I was like, yeah. Because she was like, oh, you can have it be like, that's one of the little things they have to progress through on their quest. Like, you come across this valley, and it's like, my father died in this valley. He got run over. So I was like, yeah, that'd be fun.

So that's the type of, you know uh stuff in my book it's gonna be great i want your world to be one where humans are like ants and there's just another species that's much larger and they run everything and it And it's like long ago in the world of mortal earth with a U there was a place called Dragonstone. And there giants ruled and man

were pets. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I kind of do like that. I kind of like humans being almost like an ant-type creature. Maybe not quite ant-like, but, like, they're just kind of another species in the world. Like a squirrel or a skunk. You know what I mean?

I don't. Well, it's going to be more like they're just another creature, like another animal. So I'm going to have, like, I will have dragons but I want like smart dragons how like Lord of the Rings had dragons and they're like they like sit in caves and they just have like super powerful magic and they're like what brings you to me person and like maybe they'll allow you

to have their magic maybe they won't what brings you to me person straight line of dialogue is what it is I haven't flushed that out yet. But, you know. You know. I know. I know.

You got it. So, I'm just, you know, I'm just kind of brainstorming right now, trying to world build, trying to, you know, plot it all out. The hardest part is, like, creating the actual plot. Because I'm always really good at world building and figuring out like all these different ideas for the world but like the hardest part for me is just putting it all together and being like who do I want to be a main character who do I want to be a side character so having somebody that's a professional at it help me out has been very very nice uh so my my end goal is I want to write this book Probably not by the end of the year But I want to finish it at some point Like by next year

I was about to say By the end of the year is crazy Yeah no we're going at some point next year Don't know if it will be early or late But I think I can get this book out before George R.R. Martin releases his next book I think that's never going to happen. I feel like Game of Thrones is done.

It's done. Or a song of ice and fire. I'm going to get it out before he does. Yeah, you need to call your book. Actually, when your book releases, if you send me a copy and you ask for one of those quotes on the back of the book, I'll give you one.

It'll be like, this makes a song of ice and fire look more like a song of pee and poo. That's also just season eight of Game of Thrones. Yeah. And that'll be the box quote in the front of the book. I'll just put it right on the front bigger than the title it's just like the actual book cover is also just making fun of game of thrones it's just everything about it i would also want a really cool cover it's like everybody buys books based on the cover everyone says don't judge the book by its cover that's like how i've always looked at books i'm like that cover is pretty neat and then i look

at yeah i would uh like uh you know i'm not gonna tell you how to sell your book but boobs put them on the front all right all right like i'm gonna i'm also dragging boobs all right all right see what i'm talking about people People are going to be like, first off, you're going to get the scalies. They're in. Then you're going to get the people who are kind of curious about dragon boobs. And then general perverts.

And that's really most of the fantasy readers, let's be honest. So, you got them. You got them. Everyone's reading fantasy because they're hoping someone's going to bang a dragon. It's not just me. It's everyone.

Alright, well. I mean, I guess's going to bang a dragon. It's not just me. It's everyone. Alright, well. I mean, I guess I guess I gotta do it now. I mean, yeah. You have to. I have to. By law. Yeah. Speaking of by law, that's not right.

This is terrible. Speaking of dragon, no, that's not that's not either. Speaking of things that we are Obligated to tell you about There we go that's much better Quip is out there Changing Mouths

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You never know. Back to you. All right, Quendorn. Let's go to the weather. Weathernesk. Let's see. Let's find a comment from last week's episode, which was episode 300, if you missed it. That's true.

You should go listen to that it occurred i was there somebody said can we get a weather report for sweden as comfort for losing the olympic final in football if you need a town carlstad carl carlstad oh i see it. Karl Stodd, Varmland, Sweden. Oh, my God. All right. It looks beautiful. I hate this. All right, Karl Stodd.

It looks gorgeous. 60 degrees Fahrenheit, partly cloudy. 16% chance of rain through 8 a.m. You've got a high of 68 degrees Fahrenheit. Humidity, 96%. Pressure, 29 pressure 29.78, visibility 7 miles, wind 4 miles an hour, dew point 59, UV index 1 of 10, moon phase waxing crescent, sun rising at 509, setting at 911, PM, hourly forecast. Wait, we don't want no hourly forecast. We want the 10-day. Yeah.

We got rain showers. Chance of rain, 40%. Monday night, 50% chance of rain. Tuesday, 67 with AM showers. Wednesday, partly cloudy, 69. Nice. Thursday, 70, partly cloudy. Friday, 69. Nice.

PM showers. Saturday, 67. Few showers. Sunday, 66. Few showers. Monday 69 nice PM showers. Saturday 67 few showers. Sunday 66 few showers. Monday 67 with showers. I want to let you know that while I'm sure Karlstad is

a lovely lovely place to visit it is also a three seat sofa in light grey from Ikea. Oh my god I gotta see this Oh yeah it is It's a very nice sofa Yeah look at that

Yeah very lovely sofa I don't know that I'm not a big fan of the The fact that the wood peggings in the bottom Are just like you know bare ass wood But like alright it's fine Yeah I mean, it's a solid three and a half star. Yeah.

That's a solid three and a half stars. Sofa. Very, very solid, especially from Ikea. You know? Yeah. There you go.

I went to the visitor's website and it seems like there's a lot to see there. Bowling. Seems like, Ooh, they have pralines and chocolate. That seems to be a thing. A lot of water. There's a lake, it looks like. So that's, you know, that's...

You can find antiques. Oh, and pirate golf. Pirate golf? One of the biggest mini golf with adventure... What the? One of the biggest mini golf with adventure... What the? One of the biggest mini golf with adventure pirate theme where you and your family can compete and have fun together. There is also an ice cream cafe.

This is on the official tourism website. This is it. This is the... This might be my favorite thing I've ever. One of the biggest mini golf. With adventure pirate theme. Where you and your family can compete. And have fun together.

There is also an ice cream cafe. That is. Carl Stodd you are great. I love this town. There is also ice cream cafe oh my god pirate golf p oh never mind it's available pirate it's p-i-r-a-t-g-o-l-f pirate without an E. Carlstar.se is the Pirate Golf website. And let me just tell you. It is slightly broken.

But I love it. Oh, my God. Grand door. Yes. Open image in new tab. Send this image to you This is the staff of Pirate Golf Oh my god

Now that's a staff The best part is They look like the people that I imagine Are at the renaissance fair Oh yeah They 100% are Alright i just wanted to you know that is amazing man i love pirate golf i love i love this town it is beautiful and it looks like small and kind of out of the way and it has beautiful lakes and pirate golf man honestly all you had to say was pirate golf and i'd be ready but

yeah if they want to invite us out specifically just for pirate golf i will go if they're like we want to fly you out to carlstad for pirate golf i'd be like i am i am willing to be there i will go well that's the uh carl stodd weather okay let's go to sports sports uh big sports week uh we had uh the basketball free agency hit bulls did a lot pretty happy happy with that. They got Lonzo Ball. They got DeMar DeRozan. So now we got one of the balls in Chicago. That'll be fun.

We also got Alex Caruso from the Lakers, which was great. Then the Miami Heat got Kyle Lowry. There's some other big free agent stuff. I think Kemba Walker went to the Knicks and some other people. Derrick Rose resigned, although I don't know how good Kemba Walker is anymore. You know, I mainly cared about the Bulls, so I was like, nice. That's what they said when I was unimportant. They did make some of the best moves, though, without a doubt.

Oh, and Russell Westbrook got traded to the Lakers, so now they have Anthony Davis, LeBron, and Westbrook. This would be crazy. They're really trying hard for a championship. Oh, without a doubt. Very obvious, yeah. Yeah, they're bringing the whole crew there like, all right, guys, come on.

Isn't it like they have one season to do it or something insane like that or they're putting all their money on like one great season well they won the covid year with the bubble uh the lakers did but then they did they didn't win last year they even got i don't think they made the playoffs they made the like play-in and lost now, I think they're all getting up there. Westbrook is like, he's got to be like mid-30s. LeBron's like mid to late 30s. And then Anthony Davis, the youngest one, like 28 or 9. But still. Actually, is he 28 or 9?

He's 28, yeah. So, still. I think LeBron's just trying to get to the point where he can play with his son in the NBA. That would be a little crazy. I know people think that's cool, but I don't know that that's cool. Like, wouldn't it be weird? Like, oh, yes, I get to play in the NBA with my father,

and I live in his shadows. I don't know. I think he just wants it to be the first time anyone's ever done that, because it definitely would be. I think he'll be two years away still or something, but it is going to be weird. I don't even know. Yeah, it sounds on paper like, oh, what a cute moment,

but in reality, it's kind of weird yeah and it's gonna be one of those things where like they're obviously gonna trade for him too if that happens like whoever drafts them they're gonna be like i go get my son and they'll be like okay lebron and then we'll go do it it's gonna be weird um then the olympics wrapped up uh honestly i had a good time watching the Olympics I was watching what was I watching this week on the Olympics I watched water polo I think that was one of those things

where I was like water polo this is weird and then I actually got into it and I was like yeah let's go and then it was crazy let's see what else happened I saw some swimming stuff It was crazy. Let's see what else happened. I saw some swimming stuff. Most of the Olympics I watched this week was through Leslie Jones' Twitter. And I want to let you know, I was about to retweet at you.

Because when handball came up, her reaction was the... She was like, isn't this where you hit it against the wall? What the hell is this? Like, her reaction was the exact same as mine. I want to let you know I'm not alone. I don't know what the hell the world thinks handball is but whatever she's watching it trying to figure it out and even i while watching couldn't figure it out i'm gonna let you know still can't figure it out don't know what the hell the rules are to handball it's nonsense all i knew is like if you you can move and back, but if you go side to side, you have to dribble it? I think is what it was.

I don't understand it at all. Yeah, it is. A handball. It's like soccer, but they only use their hands. Yeah, I mean. I don't know. Wrestling, I saw. I'm not a big wrestling person.

I was like, whatever. But it kept having this thing of being like and it was a really annoying noise uh what else did i see let's see oh i tried to watch i think it was uh taekwondo some something let me tell you couldn't figure out what the hell was going on because in the movies when people get like you know they're like yeah they like f them up this was like they both kick at the same time. And the judge would be like, this kick was kind of better. And I'm like, what the hell? Oh, I saw that.

Yeah. I couldn't determine any of it either. I was like, wait, none of it made sense. And there was one point where this woman goes to kick this other woman. And then she like blocked the kick. And the judge was like, point to, I guess the lady who blocked the kick. And then the woman like freaked out, like got on the ground and started like crying and cheering and i was like what the hell happened i i still don't know what i guess she won i don't know how she won because the block i all i'm saying is

mortal combat why is it not like mortal combat that's a great question i would like that as well i'm just saying. I saw volleyball. I saw mountain biking. That was actually pretty crazy. I saw the horses jumping stuff. I don't know what that's called. I call it horse jump. I saw the canoe kayaks.

That was actually pretty crazy. Seeing the kayakers do the thing. There was... Did you see the race where the guy. I don't know if it was a marathon. I'm not sure what it was. All I know is at the end. The guy was like.

You know he was so far ahead of everyone. That he was you know slowing down. And clapping. And you know showing off. And a dude from behind starts running at like 800 miles an hour trying to beat him And he gets right to the end of the guy's like No like tries to stop him And the other guy's like I'm just playing you can walk across

I don't think I saw that It was pretty good there's also another one where a dude You know how they have the water stations A guy like held out his hand and knocked over All the water so the racers behind him wouldn't get it I was like damn that guy wow okay uh i saw badminton that was pretty crazy it's just the the professional badminton watch them go back and forth with that

uh that one guy won from denmark i think uh honestly i mean you know it sounds super interesting that one guy won from denmark i think yeah um yeah i think uh you know summer summer Olympics. I always like the winter Olympics more, but I still enjoy having it on in the background, as I've said many a time. It was all right. Winter Olympics are coming up. It's going to be crazy.

Will it be coming up? I'm, again, very curious if it will. I think it will. I definitely think it will. Okay. We will find out, but I'm pretty sure it'll happen. And that was sports. Okay, Grendor.

What is our weird fact that you're probably going to tell me of the day? Weird fact of the day is, Beethoven could still hear after going deaf. What? Yeah. What does that mean? All right. Is this like one of those like you could feel the chords?

Is this like the same way that the daredevil can see? I think so. Upon going deaf, Beethoven discovered that if he bit onto a metal pole that connected to the piano he was playing, he could almost hear or he could hear almost perfectly well. This process is called bone conduction, and while technology has evolved, the science is the same. Vibrations are transferred from the conductive metal into our bones. When this happens, our ears pick up the signal with no sound distortion. Yeah, I've seen headphones or something.

Like, there's glasses. Yeah, I've seen those. Something like where you have glasses and the glasses pick up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. yeah okay i did not in my mind it was like beta you know in the in the movies and stuff he like puts his ear on the piano he's like he can hear the chords vibrations but this is just he bit onto some stuff and it shook his teeth and jaw and it like made noise yeah that's pretty crazy all right yeah um let's see uh there's uh i'm gonna see let's see is bone conduction bad because the bone conduction headset does not cut the user off from the environment it is considered safer than air

conduction alternatives additionally there is no damage from stimulus intensity and or the constant ear insertion earbuds and or other types of insert headphones interesting got me looking at bone conduction headphones now they look pretty cool i mean interesting that they don't make more of these. I don't know. Is it supposed to be for when you sleep? I mean, I guess people use them working out, too. I got it. Am I about to get bone conduction?

Bone conduction. And try this out? You got to do it. You got to try out the bone conduction. I'm looking at them. They're wild looking. Maybe. Oh, my God.

Maybe I'll have bone conduction. Bone conduction. I am bone conduction. Yeah, honestly. That's pretty neat. Yeah, it's very interesting all right what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day um so i do have a big news story but i wanted to mention something uh first northern lion on twitter tweeted that people on our subway are wild, man. And it's somebody's order from our subway.

And they said, spicy Italian, extra provolone, toasted Italian herbs and cheese bread, extra lettuce, extra tomato, extra pickles, extra green pepper, extra banana pepper, extra jalapeno, extra onion, oregano, extra black pepper. Get it to go and add spicy mustard at home. What? Yeah. That doesn't seem wild. What? That does seem wild. It's just a guy who got extra stuff.

Why are you getting so many extra things? Because he likes the veggies. That's so many extra things because he likes the veggies that's so many veggies that's i mean but people like that but that's i don't understand it either i mean i wouldn't get it i like i don't want extra tomatoes i'm like i understand people who like veggies like i understand it i get liking veggies but he's putting the whole garden on there. Like, mama mia. I mean, you know, I get it, though.

Some people be like that. I don't understand. Well, I went to our Subway just to see what it was, and I saw a post. It's back from the gates of hell, and for a limited time only, it is the subway claw your way

up to the flavor chain lobster sandwich atlantic canada lobster i answer no i'm good no if there's one thing i would not want from subway lobster yeah no it is lobster no i'm good it's like somebody be like you want a lobster roll and be like oh yeah. It's like somebody would be like, you want a lobster roll? I'd be like, oh, yeah. And they're like, from Subway? I'd be like, nope, never mind. No, I'm good. Thank you.

Yeah, that is. Well, yeah. I mean, just going to Subway in general is not my grade. What's your Subway order? All right. My Subway order, if I go, is pretty basic. I get usually the Italian herbs and cheese bread or the whole wheat bread. And then I get turkey, pepper jack, lettuce, tomato, onion, cucumber, and then maybe a little yellow mustard on it.

Interesting. Mine, even though it's been a while Mine was Wheat Turkey bacon Lettuce Onion Cucumber Jalapeno

And No sauce on that bad boy And no cheese Wait no cheese? Cheese messes up the flavor man that bacon plus the jalapeno oh my god oh my god that's where it's at i don't think i've ever gotten bacon at subway either yeah the turkey bacon it's it's it's like i think it's a menu item i think i think it's a menu i think it's like an item it's like a turkey bacon sandwich i think are you getting like turkey and bacon or turkey yes yeah like turkey and they put bacon on

the turkey and then they you know they toast that thing and then pull it out and then they put like all the stuff on it it's great i thought for a while you were just saying turkey bacon i was like they got turkey bacon at subway no i No. I wouldn't get the cucumber, but I get it because I'm like, I gotta be healthy, I guess. But if someone were to tell me that cucumber is just worthless calories, I would nix it. I don't know if it is

actually. That's what I'm saying. I was like, well, I gotta add more greens to it. Let's see. Cucumber nutrition. They're a good source of vitamin K. And I think it's mainly vitamin K, B5, C. C.

I mean, I think they're pretty healthy. All right. Maybe you gotta eat a lot, but they do seem like... Yeah, I mean... Yeah. Yeah, vitamin K, 21%,

that's their main thing. They give you that vitamin K. Well, alright. I mean, I guess, what if I just ate a ton of pickles? I mean, they might also give you

vitamin K. Let's see, pickles, nutrition. Health. You got me looking up pickle nutrition facts now too Pickled cucumbers Nutritional facts Vitamin

A lot of it's at 0% That's not good One pickle gives me 1% of vitamin C And 1 of iron What about K? There's nothing about K Where's the K?

Treats Candida symptoms Hold on Okay Are these real health benefits though? Okay there's gotta be like a Are these real health benefits? What pickles can do for you?

Oh I like this Okay okay Pickles are almost all water Are these real health benefits? What pickles can do for you? Ooh, I like this. Okay, okay. Pickles are almost all water and have very little fat or protein. They have a high concentration of vitamins because the salty brine draws out the water from the pickles. The nutritional value varies depending on the type. For example, a whole dill pickle has about 23% of daily recommended amount of vitamin K, whole dill pickle has about 23% of daily recommended amount of vitamin K, which keeps your blood clot and keeps your keeps your blood clot,

which keeps your blood clot. What does that mean? Supports blood clotting and bone health. It says that makes that makes so much more sense than whatever the hell weather support keeps your blood clot. How come I'm finding the webpages today that are like, keeps your blood clot and ice cream cafe? I don't know. Your website just starts T-posing on you.

It says, pickles contain vitamin K, pack probiotics, are gut-friendly, replenish electrolytes, and boost hydration. Huh. And then fermented pickles help with, they've got probiotics for gut health. Yeah. And may ease muscle cramps. Damn, look at that. There you go.

Look at all this. Get your pickles today. Yeah. Look at that. There you go. Look at all this. Get your pickles today. Yeah. Anyway, the news story of the day is Los Angeles air traffic controller warns jetpack guy is back. Okay. This has been a thing in LA for a while. Like there has been a dude flying around LAX, maybe.

Or, I don't know. I don't know what it is. Huh. The FBI is investigating reports of a possible jetpack man in sight 15 miles east of LAX. The FBI is investigating what one commercial airline pilot said might have been an airborne person with a jetpack. commercial airline pilot said might have been an airborne person with a jetpack. Los Angeles Times reported that the Boeing 747 pilot radioed to report a possible jetpack man in sight at around 6.12 p.m. Wednesday. The pilot spotted an object that might have resembled a jetpack 15 miles east of LAX at a 5,000 feet altitude.

Federal Aviation Administration spokesperson told the newspaper. Out of an abundance of caution, air traffic controllers alerted other pilots in the vicinity. Use caution, jetpack guys back, said one air traffic controller. Did you see a UFO? One air traffic controller asked a pilot. We were, but we did not see Iron Man, the pilot responded. The FBI is working with the FAA to investigate the report. FBI spokesperson Laura Eimler told the Times in an email the agency has already looked into three other possible jetpacks

in the skies above L.A. and has not been able to validate any of the reports. Yeah, I guess some people were saying that it might just be a drone dressed up to look like a man, which is even crazier. That is crazy. That'd be weird. But I don't know. I have no clue what.

It's just been a thing that's been happening a while. And I know that there was, at a certain point in time before COVID, there was a business in LA that was offering people jetpack experiences where you'd be tethered to the ground and you could fly up in the air in your jetpack but I don't imagine it'd be high enough that a jumbo jet would see you yeah that is that is weird it's got I feel like it's gotta be a drone dressed as a man though you say it which but but there's that guy in New York that people took videos

of that's flying around on a drone. Did you see that? I didn't see that. Oh, my God. Hold on. Let me see if I can find you. Drone man. I'll let everyone know.

Drone man flying NY. All right. Drone man didn't get me it. Incredible video shows man flying around. Yeah, yeah. All right. Hold on. I'm not sure who the Arrow Times are But there's a YouTube video

If you just look, man flying over drone In New York Times Square Look at this thing This guy looks like He is from Spider-Man He's like out to catch Spider-Man Oh my god, he does He looks like the Green Goblin

That's what I'm saying. That's insane. So, I mean, if that exists, who knows? Maybe Jet Pack Man is real. Right? I want to believe for safety reasons it's a drone, but it also could just be a dude

who's like, I am the Rocketeer. You never know. Hey, you never know. All right. Well, that is it for this episode. Thanks so much for listening or watching. However you're enjoying this podcast, Crendor, hit them with the socials. We got socials, youtube.com slash cox and Crendor podcast.

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that's it. We'll see y'all next time, and as always, I'm gonna shake this beanie baby. Can you hear it? I mean, yeah, I have so many questions. Why even shake this beanie baby. Can you hear it? I mean, yeah, I have so many questions. Why even have a beanie baby? Anyway, I'll answer it next week. To be continued.