Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 305 - Worm Gruntin'

Episode Date: September 6, 2021

The boys are back again with an all new episode, and this time Jesse and Crendor realize they aren't the main characters. Someone is, but it's not them! Also Crendor discovers a new festival for him to love and Jesse can't understand why someone would pay for a vaccine from Ma' Derna when she's just giving them away! All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://ritual.com/COX to start your Ritual today! Go to http://hellofresh.com/cox14 and use cox14 for up to 14 free meals, including free shipping!

Today's episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is out there giving you that good food delivered right to your door. Also today we're brought to you- what was that? Good food right to your door, yes. I don't know what that was. Also today we're brought to you by Ritual. Ritual is going to give you those vitamins, the vitamins is what I mean, that will help you and your growing body.

Or if you're just old, keep that body from falling apart. I think you need them right now. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghosts and Trend Dogs. Ghosts and Trend Dogs in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. Hello everybody and welcome to a new episode of Cacks and Crendor in the morning!

Hey, that's pretty exciting. Oh, hello. Why is it exciting? What do you mean? You mean the podcast or just life? I don't know. You said welcome to another exciting episode. I said yeah, it's pretty exciting. Look, I have to say that in order to hype myself up. Well, that means sometimes you lie to us. No, I've never lied. It's always been every one of these has been exciting. How dare you? Every one. Every single one. Ah, there's a couple in there. I don't know if you were

truly excited. Oh, I was very excited. The most excited. I, uh, see, I mean, I'm excited right now. That's true. I'm like, uh, man, I'm all bug bit. Bug bit? I got bug bites all over me. Yeah.

We talked about that the other week. Did you get the bug bite stuff? So here's the thing. I did, but I wasn't, so I wasn't prepared this time. I was invited to lunch, and in my mind, I was like, oh, lunch, that won't be a thing. And when I got there, I realized it was one of those like hey i'm trying to set you up with one of my friends kind of things so it was not only just a nice place but it was also a nice place outside and so uh it was one of those we're gonna sit

around and talk for a while kind of vibes and uh yeah i just was short sleeved and my elbows and my wrists and like this i knew something was up because there was a fly who was awfully like hey dude what are you doing it looks like you're eating over here you wanna you want me to come eat too and so you know after i left i felt fine but woke up the next day and I have like three bug bites on my elbow one right on my wrist I'm like other I'm I have two other bug bites on this guy Snacked he went to town on me sure it was the fly or the mosquito. Um, I'm gonna say it was something I didn't see mosquitoes I just saw one fly and here's the thing if I have to blame him for something mosquitoes did that is you know

I feel bad for that, but someone has to take the fall. It's got to be one of them. That's true. Somebody does. Yeah. But it was the least of my problems, we'll say, because I have a problem that whenever I go out, especially if it's someone that I may or may not be interested in, I always end up ordering less to eat than I normally would because I feel like we'd be doing

a lot of talking. And so I don't want to sit there and like, you know, but at the same time, it's a lie. That's a lie. I want that hamburger, but right now I'm about to order like the fancy salad or whatever. And it's not, that's not helpful. That's a lie. That's a lie. I want that burger, but I'm going to sit here and get this dumb ass food. Cause I'm trying to be like, well, I don't want to have juice running down my face and stuff. And I'm going to sit here and get this dumbass food because I'm trying to be like, well, I don't want to have juice running down my face and stuff. And I'm like, you want to kiss me later, baby? I don't know. I just I live a lie is what I'm saying.

You know, story of my life. I mean, I like I used to order the same things everywhere. And now I've hit that point where I try to try the crazy stuff. What do you consider crazy? On par with the stuff I ate at Alinea. If it's got, you know, they're like, this is something crazy. And I'm like, I don't even know what that is, but I'll try it. Yeah, if you can't say it or pronounce it, you're in.

That's the thing. Exactly. Well, it depends on how I'm like, I don't even know what that is, but I'll try it. Yeah, if you can't say it or pronounce it, you're in. That's the thing. Yeah, exactly. Well, it depends on how I'm feeling, too. Sometimes that, but then sometimes you're just like, whatever, just give me the cheeseburger, please. Well, I like to keep it simple. I don't want anything too crazy. Also, when I say cheeseburgers, a lot of times people are trying to put mayo and stuff on. I'm not a big mayo person

Yeah I like mayo but not a lot Like I don't want to just taste mayo It's gotta be like Maybe on the bun lightly You know Sometimes I just rather have like a BLT People put mayo on BLTs too though That's what I'm saying

I was trying to think That's probably the only time I want mayo But even then I want like Spread it on like Just a thin layer of butter If you know what I mean Barely Across that toast

I feel like a lot of people do that Where it's like they get something And then they just douse it in sauce It's too much for me Can't do it Why even get it if you're just going to put that much sauce on I know some people are like douse it in sauce. It's too much for me. Can't do it. Why even get it if you're just going to put that much sauce on it? I know somebody will be like, I'll eat it however I want.

You can get anything. Just put the sauce on it. I will say, if it's like hot sauce or like a dipping sauce, that's different. Suddenly the world changes. If it's like a dipping sauce, I'll dip the hell out of whatever I'm eating. I'll be like right in there.

I feel like sauces are there to like amplify the food. Like if you dip in the sauce, you're like, ooh, that made it taste better. But you're not just tasting sauce. You're like kind of, it's like pairing up with it well. Sure, sure, sure. I think anything that comes out the other side where, like when you add too much much mayo it has a taste that just doesn't do it for like if it tastes good i'll do it but if it's like if it don't taste

good ain't gonna do it it's that simple really yeah yeah i mean that makes sense i mean that could that be said for anything somebody could like douse their thing in sauce and be like tastes good i mean here's the thing when we at that restaurant, that chickpea hummus, whatever the hell thing I got was delicious. It was very, very good. I wasn't sad that I got it. I was ashamed that I once again fell for the whole thing of like, well, oh boy, I'm going to have to talk to people, which means I'm going to probably do most of the talking here. So I'm not going to eat a bunch. Yeah. But then you're, you're sacrificing your enjoyment of the food so that i'm not gonna eat a bunch yeah but then you're you're sacrificing your enjoyment of the food so that there's no awkward silence well that's why most of the time when i

go to enjoy food i go with people i'm comfortable with i see so i know that i can be like look i'm gonna get this steak and i'm gonna get it made with like uh the tears of dolphins or whatever the hell those are the best ones yeah right right right like happy tears though not sad like happy dolphin tears are worth way more oh yeah um yeah and uh then you know that kind of stuff that that that i'm fine with i like doing that with friends because you can like experience it and you're all there to to eat together but i suffer from the there to eat together right but i suffer from the oh boy i gotta try to impress a girl all right and at the same time figure out if she's like are we gonna does this are we gonna do this again so i mean what happened are you gonna you're gonna do it again no clue well

no i'll be real the conversation was it was fine, but it was like a group thing, right? And she was talking about how she wants to open a bakery and admittedly, very good cook. I was blown away by like the photos and stuff. I was like, damn, okay. But then she was like, yeah, I don't know if I want to do it here or in Montana or somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. And I was like, what? What? So it was like, and then it was very obvious that all my other friends at the table were like,

oh, you should definitely do it here. Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. And I was like, just let this girl live her life. Like, y'all trying to set her up with me. If she wants to go to Montana to, like, do whatever she wants to do, let her do that. Like, let her follow her dreams. Everyone's like, but what if you stayed here, though do that. Let her follow her dreams. Everyone's like, but what if you stayed here though?

But what if you stayed here? And I'm like, Oh boy. And then she started singing Kelly Clarkson terribly. Here's the thing. If that would have happened, that would have been the end of it. I would have been like,

excuse me. Someone's gonna have to wrap up my weird chickpea, strange hummus creation that they made for me. And I'm going to go now. Yeah. Uh, Oh, speaking of interactions,

did you see that Logan, Logan Paul thing? What Logan Paul thing? Oh my God. So Logan Paul was like walking back from, uh, like, uh,

what do you call it? I don't know. Just some event. And this was, like, walking back from, like, what do you call it? I don't know. Just some event. And this dude, like, vlogged himself or, like, TikTok'd himself. And he's like, I just quit my job making $100,000 a year. I'm 22 years old, and I'm going to go ask Logan Paul for a job. So, he, like, sneaks backstage. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Time out. Time out. Someone can make $100,000 at 22? That's what everybody's saying. They're like, why out. Time out. Someone can make $100,000 at 22? That's what everybody's saying. They're like, why is he doing it? He's making $100,000 at 22. Okay, sure. So pretty much he quits his job.

I don't know what he does. He just says he quit his $100,000 a year job for whatever reason. Sounds like he was in finance. If you're getting $100,000 at 22, you're in like finance or something. Oh, yeah. So I think the quote in the thing is he says he wants to act. That's what he wants. He wants to be an actor.

All right. Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah. You and a million other people. So he goes backstage. Like, he sneaks backstage. Nobody knows how he did it.

He just gets back there. And Logan Paul's just like, who the shit are you? And he's like, hey, I just got backstage. And he's like, did you sneak back here? And he's like, hey, I just, I got backstage. And he's like, did you sneak back here? And he's like, no, I didn't. And he's like, well, how'd you get back here? And he's like, you snuck back here, didn't you? And he's like, yeah.

And he's like, all right, well, what are you good at? And he's like, I got what it takes. And then he's like, well, wait, what? And the dude's just like, I just, you know, I just, I want to act, and what do I get? And he's like, what are you good at? Are you good at anything? He's like, I don't know.

And then he's like, well, why would I give you a job then if you don't know what you're good at? And he's like, I just, you know, I quit my job, and, like, I just, I want to act. It's just, and then he's just like, dude, like, just go do your own thing. You got friends, right? And he's like, I don't got friends. And he's like, come on. Like, everybody's got friends. And he's like, I like just go do go do your own thing you got friends right and he's like i don't got friends and he's like come on like everybody's got friends and he's like i don't

got friends i just and then he's like i i think he ended up saying like i can't be your mentor because like i need a mentor like i'm dumb and i need someone to mentor me so how can i mentor someone else and he's like no no and then he then he goes back and he cries in his car or something. I can't figure out why. I mean, I get why people do dumb stuff. And they're like, if I just take a chance on this. That's most of life. You just take one stupid chance.

But also, if you're making $100,000, take a vacation. Take a weekend off. Go to see him. Ask him and then quit. Right. I can't figure out why he quit before. Like that doesn't make any sense. People do the same thing with like Twitch streaming and YouTube.

Like quit my job. I gotta go full time YouTube Twitch. And it's like maybe you should like try it first as like a hobby and then see how it goes. Right. And then maybe you can make the decision i don't know how to describe to anyone i didn't quit my job to start doing internet stuff full time i was let go yeah i was like i was very kindly fired right like that's like i had nothing i had to sell everything i owned and then move home with my parents for a year. That wasn't, like, a cool choice I made that, like, set me on the right path. I was literally so bored, I started making internet videos for fun.

into community college and i had like i was like man i wonder if there's something else i could do and i started making my dumb wow videos as a hobby and then i was like maybe this will go somewhere but if it doesn't then whatever i'm having fun and then you know it grows and then i feel like the big thing is a lot of the people like this guy they quit their job and they're like i know what i'll do i'm gonna go to him he's this big star he'll hire me i'll you know make network connections and i'll get big but what they don't realize is that the it's like a scale like if you want something from somebody and you're offering nothing like why would they why would they want to hire you like it doesn't make any sense like if you know like back when we were starting you know it's like i didn't go to tb and

go hey tb can i be on the podcast i literally't do anything, but I'd like to be on it. I was like, hey, look, I make a bunch of wow videos and here's some stuff and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, yeah, these are pretty funny. I'll bring you on. You know, like you're offering something. Like, hey, you know, here's my resume. You have like a resume to show, essentially. This dude's just like, I quit my job.

And he's like, what are you good at? And he's like, I don't know. Well, then, well, it's dumb. And there's more to it because it's also about friendship and i know a lot of people are like oh well if i just hang out with you enough i become your friend but it's so much more complicated than that and it's really hard to describe to people because for many people they already see you as a friend because you're in their life so much and so often well i would say even like there's one thing like being friendly

with people and be like oh's one thing like being friendly with people and be like oh what's up like thanks you know like fans and viewers or anything but hey thanks for you know it's not like get away from me right that's not like that it's like you're you're being polite to people and everything but it's once somebody you talk to them like all right hey thanks for you know stopping by watching the show whatever and they're like hey you want to hang out after this that's when it's no. Because then it starts pushing the boundaries of it. That's, yeah, no. I'm always in.

Well, I always called you the lighthouse of social activity. It's like you just shine around. You're like, whoop, whoop, whoop. You're like attracting people from all over. Like, look, there's Jesse. I can't stop myself. I'm just like, I'm convinced this is all going to end eventually. And so I'm just like, I got to get my time in now while I can.

So when people are like, dude, can I buy you a drink? I'm like, yes, you can. You very much can buy me a drink. That's probably like, it should be a no-no. People are like, don't do that, dude. That's parasocial. I'm like, yeah, but like, i'm about to get me a pair of drinks i thought you're about to do a deez nuts joke

no no one's getting deez nuts um especially not like ellie clarkson sing it there uh i was gonna say there's like the uh in a lot of sports there's the coaching trees and it's like coaches stem from the coaching trees or it was like there's mike holmgren and then like andy reed and john gruden stem from that and then other coaches stem from that there's like all these things it's like the same with you know entertainment thing like think of like tb and like it's me and you and dodger kind of stem from like tb and then you know like keep it keeps branching out like just think of a big streamer and think

of how many people you know from that big streamer and then how many people from that streamer like trickles down it does suck that everything is business but it is a job yeah so and that's why frequently i'll be like hey does anyone want to hang out and not talk about our jobs? Does anyone just want to not work? And here's the problem. Everyone says yes, but when it comes time to do it, no one does. Yeah. And that's what sucks the most about this industry. That is very true, yeah.

Because for a lot of people, that is their life, is their job. Yeah, especially doing this. Oh, yeah. Because there's so – and I think it has to do not only with the fact that it takes so much time to do it, but also the fact that for a lot of people the parasocial shit is what gets them through. The idea of I don't need to be in a solid relationship or I don't need you know friends when i can log on to the internet and talk to a bunch of you know literal strangers truthfully and get the same emotional feedback as i would if i were with my real friends yeah and then you know and when they get there with their

with their like in-person friends then they'll just play games or record a thing or like do stuff to promote themselves more and i'm like what if we don't do any of that i think i mean that's why seen recently with a lot of people abusing that uh yes quite frequently yes yeah which is why i i like hanging out with you because you don't ever want to do anything related to anything. Oh, yeah. I already said when people are like, even in stream, people are like, hey, Cronor, want to play a game? I'm like, I'm trying to get rid of friends. I've got too many friends.

I don't even got time for all of them. I got to get rid of some. Dodger, she's gone. I was kidding. Oh, my God. I mean, like, you know, she's got a kid now. She's got a kid now, but. She's gone herself.

She's removed herself from the equation. Exactly. But, you know, it's the only thing. It also made me realize I barely even play as many games as I used to. And when I do play games, I'm, like, streaming them and working. And I think that's because I've now tied those things together in a way. Unless there's, like, some, you know, gay. gay like sometimes I'll play a magic draft or like a new game comes out and I play it a decent amount but like I'd say for the most part 80% of the time

I'm playing video games it's on stream or for a video sure I'm the exact same way I can't even lie every time anything happens people are like hey have you checked out this new game like I have not had the time to play it they're like what you only streamed three hours yesterday i was like you are correct and the other however many hours that i was awake uh i did anything but oh yeah play video games i'm like what if i did everything but play video games what if i built some warhammer if i went for a walk what if i went to the gym what if i just didn't sit in front of a computer on the on the flip side because i know someone in the audience gonna be like well what's the positive of this conversation like you're telling us don't talk to you about this here's the flip side my current one of my current editors also i mean like mari

is lovely wonderful has been a long time fan um hired him not even knowing he was a fan which is even funnier so mari got me but he didn't do the thing where he was like, you know, I'm a huge fan. When we were looking for an editor, he applied and brought a resume, and I was like, this guy's great. And that was it. And then he was like, I've been a fan for a while. Like, you son of a gun, right?

Yeah. Or even think of, like, Dan. Dan, our animator, literally just made an animation for us, and we were like, dude, this is fun. Do you want to make more? And he was like, yeah. And then he started making more. Yeah, he didn't come to us like, guys, I really want to make this.

He just made it. And we were like, dude, this is funny. And he's like, neat. And at the time, we had several animators who were making stuff for us. And all of them were very, very good. But he was the only one who kept doing it. And eventually I was like, can I pay you to make more? And he was like, yes.

And that was it. And that now, and now he works for me. Like, and, uh, another one of the editors that I've, that I've hired on and she's doing big ideas in gaming and she's doing some of the other like bigger projects that I have, um, her thing literally was like, hey, I want to make fan animations for you. Is it cool if I make fan videos? I was like, yeah, go nuts. And then so she started making stuff for fun. And I was like, this is actually really well done. Would you be interested in doing this side thing? And then we tested a bunch of stuff out and it was great. Like that's, it's about looking again.

I think this is kind of what Logan Paul was after. Like, hey, what can you do? And it isn't like being mean. It's like, what do you, you know, what do you do that I could use? Because a lot of time people are like, you know, when Dodger and I made the video game company, a lot of people reached out like, hey, I'm a dev or hey, I'm a lawyer. Hey, I'm an accountant. Like, can I come work for you? And was like dude i would love that however i need none

of that right now like i i can't pay you because you wouldn't be doing anything right but like let me keep this off to the side just in case one day we do need that but like for now don't you know put all those eggs in the jessie basket and it's it's one of those things where if i could hire every person i would but i simply cannot because i don't have anything for you to do right yeah it's you know because that's he doesn't even say what he wants to do the guy's like i want to act i want to do these things like what does that even mean like like it's clear he doesn't know what he wants to do i know what he wants is he wants to get popular and famous and make a bunch of money with Logan Paul. That's what he wants to do, but that's not a thing you can do.

Yeah, he's 22, and he probably looks up to Logan Paul. He sees his life. He sees everything he does, and he wants to be a part of that. Shit, I want to be a part of that. Everyone wants to be a part of being a millionaire who has no rules in his life and can do whatever they want. I don't want to be a part of that. Everyone wants that. Well, except for Crandor. Yeah, I don't want to be a part of that. Everyone wants that. Well, except for Krendor.

Yeah, I don't want to be a part of that. It's too much. But you simply have to understand that from our end, if I want to bring you along on the adventure, what are you going to do? I'm working X number know, X number hours a day at anywhere from anywhere from eight at the low end to like 14, 16 hours a day doing stuff. So while I'm working, how are you going to help alleviate my workload?

Right. That's, I mean, that's, that's what I think about. And so when someone comes along and I see they have like amazing editing skills, they don't just say like, Hey, I'm a good editor. They'll like, just do stuff and post it and link me. I'm like, Oh my God, guys, that was like a great example is the shirt we're selling at, uh, uh, the scary game squad live show is one that a fan was like, Hey, I want to make this shirt. Here's my little like stencil thing. I think you guys would love this. And fan was like, hey, I want to make this shirt. Here's my little stencil thing. I think you guys would love this. And I was like, oh, my God.

I will gladly pay for you to keep working on this. And the shirt's done, and it looks hilarious, and I don't want to spoil anything, but it's perfect. And it's like that kind of thing where I appreciate his go-get-em attitude of like, I'm going to show up and do this thing, but then he had no further plan after that like, I would be impressed if you're like, dude I snuck back here

and I like want to show you that I have the ability to like get stuff done here's what I can do, but instead he was like I have the ability to get stuff done and Logan Paul was like, like what? and the dude's like, I don't know like what? yeah yeah like at least yeah at least they have like something planned out you know like yeah it's just it's a part of me thinks this is the type of person where they didn't get told no very often

growing up like i want candy they get candy i want this they get this so they're like i want to be a you know youtube tiktok person they go and then they get shut down and they're like you know I can't think I guess I'm confused about because in my mind I think he's in finance right and so probably like some sort of hedge fund day trade or something

isn't the whole point of that you're supposed to be like able to wheel and deal how did he not plan for the you know how did he not think ahead how am i gonna sell myself to this dude how am i gonna you know what am i gonna bring to the table for him that he's then going to want to work with me because at the end of the day you know it's that it's it's his money so logan paul when he thinks in his head, he's doing that thing where it's, you know, you have to balance it in your mind.

And everyone does this all the time. If you look at two lines at the grocery store and one line's a little shorter, you're going to always go to the shorter one because you're balancing the wait time, right? And everything like that. And so in his and Logan Paul's mind, he's balancing the money in my pocket. Do I want to keep it versus what does this guy bring to the table? And if you don't bring enough to the table that he thinks it's worth his time and money to even talk to you,

that's not going to happen because the dude is like, you know, he's got stuff to do. And I understand that it's your dream, but that also feels like there's this new trend. I don't know what it is, but I think it's very funny where people seem to think they're like the main character. You know what I mean?

A lot of people, especially a lot of young people, have this vibe of like, I'm the main character in my story, and you're all side characters. And I'm like, dude, I hate to break it to you, we're all, everyone's a side character.

Ain't nobody the main character in this story, unless you're like president. I love it. I think being a side character Ain't nobody the main character in this story Unless you're like president I love it I think being a side character is great I think everything I do I feel like I'm a side character And I think it's fantastic Someone once called us the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of the internet I don't know what that means

Exactly I just wanted you to know I would love for you to go look that up Rosencrantz and Guildenstern And just appreciate that I Totally agree 100% agree With them I'm convinced I would love for you to go look that up, Rosencrantz and Gillenstern, and just appreciate that I totally agree. 100% agree with them. I'm convinced you and I are just in the background of everything. And always have been. And are just like, oh, this is crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is bad. Yeah. Part of me also thought this guy might have did this as, like, a stunt where, like, everybody saw this and now they go check him out. And now he's, like, trying to, to you know ride that kind of shock popularity i mean but if it was a stunt i would have based on your description i haven't seen the video but based on your description i would imagine i would go in a little more prepared if i'm gonna film it all and feel myself getting rejected i mean right what did you try to at least make it he has 69 in

his name all right his name never mind never mind his name has 69 in it so that's you should have opened with that this changes everything you should have opened with that here i am trying to figure out like what's going on with this situation and it's no this, he already lost going in. He was already, it's over for him. Man. So yeah, that's a thing. It certainly is. It certainly is a thing. Well, you know what else is a thing?

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great to just shut everything down and do that. And HelloFresh allows you the opportunity in your own home. So if you want to get in on this, if you want to have your little moment of Zen, if you want to order something that will actually be good for you and that you can make and you can see what goes into it, if you want to get that meal plan and set up or like get some good food for them kids, all you got to do right now is go to hellofresh.com slash cox14 and use code cox14 for up to 14 free meals and free shipping. That's right. So when you order, it's going to give you like extra bonus 14 meals to your main order.

It isn't like, you know, here's 14 meals free. It's like, you know, it's added on to it. All you got to do is go to hellofresh.com slash Cox14 and use code Cox14 for 14 free meals. That's HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. Also today we're brought to you by Ritual. Ritual is the vitamin that I use every single day. I am so thrilled by how it makes me feel. Like, I get, like, jazzed. I am not a by how it makes me feel, and I get like jazzed.

I am not a big vitamin taker, or at least I wasn't. But now every single day, and it's all cause of Ritual. Ritual is the vitamin that allows us to know what we're putting in our bodies. And we all deserve to know that, right? Especially now, I mean there are so many people on the internet who are like, what's going in my body? You figure those people would love this.

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uh you don't think about it until you have some days where you just like forget you know if i go out of town and i forget to bring my vitamins with me by day three i'm like i feel like i'm missing some essential nutrients it's exactly verbatim what i say ritual is made in ways that you know where everything's coming from it has a one-of-a- kind visible supply chain you can see where things come from it will literally tell you where each of the vitamins in your supplement is coming from. It's available for women, men, teens. Ritual multivitamins are scientifically developed to help support your different stages of life. Your multivitamins are delivered to your door every month with free shipping always. You can start, snooze, or cancel your subscription at any time. And if you don't

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I'm with Crandor. Hey, Crandor. How's that traffic out there? Hey, it's traffic time. Well, I thought I'd take this traffic report time to report on that rhino that I've been shaking at the end of the episode. Now, that rhino, that's a beanie baby. That's a beanie baby rhino. And you may remember those from the mid 90s.

I'm gonna let you know about this guy right here. His name is, hold on, Spike. He was born August 13th, 1996. Spike the rhino likes to stampede. He's the bruiser that you need, gentle to birds on his back. And Spike, you can be bruiser that you need. Gentle to birds on his back and spike. You can be his friend if you

like. That's a rhyme. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. That's, I, Beanie Babies suck. They suck. What? They suck. That's not true. I worked at McDonald's, the one year that I worked at McDonald's was the year that

Beanie Babies, you could buy them at McDonald's. And it was hell. It was hell on earth. Oh, yeah. Truly one of the worst things that ever happened. It was devil times. You just got like some kid just wants to get their McDonald toy. Like, I can't wait to get my thing.

And some mom's like, give me everything. That's what it was. It was never kids it was always older women and they were always like do you have barry the bear and we'll be like uh ma'am we're not actually allowed to look through and decide which ones you get it's random with each happy meal and they'd be like what if i gave you five dollars and we'd be like ma'am we're aware that bar bury the bear sells online for several hundred uh we cannot take your money she's like you sons of bitches you're the worst and she like

yell at us and be like come again ma'am yeah yeah i have all the sympathy in the world for every single person who works in fast food or in any service job anywhere i if i show up and you're like you know the cashier but you're on your phone i'm not gonna be like um take i will literally be like it's okay finish like i can wait i'm in no rush it's fine i'm like dude i'm like i'd be doing the same thing if i was in their position yes i. I wouldn't want to deal with anyone either. Trust me. I get it. Don't worry.

I've been there. That sucks. This job sucks. No one's paying you well. There's a reason why you see people online being like, Chick-fil-A the other day was like, we have to close down Chick-fil-A stores because no one wants to work. And I was like, really? No one wants to be paid seven bucks an hour to like be told their chicken is not cooked well enough. Like get out of town.

And then be like, what do they say? Nope. My pleasure. That's what they say. Yes. My pleasure. My pleasure. My pleasure.

No. My pleasure. No. People don't want to do that. That's a sucky job. Fast food is a sucky job. Dude, you can get all the mcdonald's beanie babies on ebay now for nine dollars yes um like all things like star wars episode one toys

and beanie babies everything that was like collectible in the late 90s was not actually collectible ever well ever because everybody collected so much money got it yeah so like if everybody's got it it's not rare yeah that, if everybody's got it, it's not rare. Yeah. That's pretty much what it was. Everyone tried to collect it, and they were like, in 20 years, it'll be worth a ton. Well, here's the thing. In 30, it was worth nothing.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I remember the Happy Meal bag, because I'd get the Happy Meal, because I didn't actually care. I liked the Beanie Babies, but, like, you know, I wanted my Happy Meal. There was the little, the colored worm. He had, like, blue, but I wanted my Happy Meal. There's the colored worm. He had blue, purple, green, orange, yellow. He's a little worm guy.

Then there's the koala, and then there's the penguin, the elephant. Oh, my God, I remember. I don't remember any of that. I'd probably pay like $8 to get them all. To get them all. I wouldn't do any of that. What I would do is if they brought back the McDonald's pizza happy meal. Oh, my God.

I'd get on that in a heartbeat. That's something I would not get. I still think about that. Here's the thing. I don't remember how it tasted. I don't remember how it tasted at all. But what I do know is that that song stuck in my head 30 years later as a kid it's a pizza happy meal with pepperoni and cheese i still think about yeah that one i still think about it and i

can't not it you know what it is it looks like the pizzas that if you went to like a ball game or a movie theater and they have pizza on the menu and you order the movie theater pizza it's what it looks like oh Oh, yeah, you're right. It looks exactly like that. But it was McDonald's pizzas, and I don't remember. It was a weird time. The 90s were a weird time. Everyone was happy, but at the same time, it was weird.

Yeah, it was something. I'm glad I got to live in the 90s, though. I feel like I got to live the last of that era. Now we swapped to the millennia area. More of the technological area. Listen, I'm from the 90s. My brain's old. We don't owe anyone an explanation.

We owe no one nothing. All I'm saying is, as an 80s baby, I grew up in a time where everyone, like, you know, America was full of itself in the 80s. And then the 90s hit, and they were like, what if we make new Coke? And what if we, like, you know, make weird-ass movies where robots are trying to kill people? And then, then like guys time it was a weird it was a weird time it was a weird time and they were like what if we make a drink that is too much caffeine and they make candy that hurts your mouth like that kind of era and then the ninja turtles like promote yeah like it was this crazy time where it's like what if there

were turtles that were also ninjas and teenagers and everyone's like that's an amazing idea and you know that happened and then you know 2000 everyone was terrified of the end of the world and then 2001 everything went to shit and then we spent the last 20 years in a war and we uh as a country have just gotten further and further crazy so you know but hey we had a good i had a good run at least i was doing pretty good i had a fun time you know yeah my my early teens were great let me tell you being a 13 year old was awesome um that's the traffic oh all right let's go to weather weather let's see i need to see the last episode to find a weather um let's see somebody's gonna recommend something here it is somebody said do the weather for sop choppy florida home of the annual worm grunting festival choppy sop choppy florida that is a place i'm looking at it right sop chop wow there it is

sop choppy oh i don't like though i see the worm i see this guy with a bunch of worms and i don't like, though. I see this guy with a bunch of worms, and I don't like it. Don't like him one bit. He's got worms on the inside and outside. Sop Choppy, Florida. 86 degrees Fahrenheit. High of 86. Low of 72. 84% humidity. 29.93 inches of pressure.

9-mile visibility. 2-mile-an-hour winds. 74 on the dew point. 0 out of pressure, 9 mile visibility, 2 mile an hour winds, 74 on the dew point, 0 out of 10 on the UV index, and the moon phase is a waning crescent. The 10 day is 88 on Monday, mostly sunny. 87 on Tuesday, PM thunderstorms. Wednesday, you got scattered thunderstorms, 83. Same thing on Thursday.

Friday, 87 with AM thunderstorms and Saturday, AM showers, 87. So who would have guessed it? It's rainy, sunny, and hot in Florida. I, man, looking at photos of Sop Choppy, it reminds me, you know, in like the

murder mystery, that town in a murder mystery where it's a little unsettling. People are definitely in the swamp. Yeah, that's what it reminds me of. Oh my god, you're right. It does look like that swampy, like Jason the Killer lives there. Even the city hall has the vibe of like they're covering it up. It does. They know. The city hall has the vibe of like they're covering it up. It does. They know.

The city hall knows. The people there, they know. It's the – what was that? The movie with Nick Cage and the animatronics that the police department – Yes. It reminds me of that. Here's another thing I just found out. All right.

We're too late, but I wonder if we could So Sop Choppy Has a 4th of July sponsorship opportunity Where at the parades and things They have sponsors And I wonder if for 2022 Because the sponsorship Packages are Sparkler sponsor $100

Text recognition on a sponsor board firecracker sponsor is you you text recognition and print ads red white and blue is you get verbal recognition on radio ads but if we were to spend a thousand dollars we could have a cox and Crandor logo banner posted during the event and have them talk about us on the radio. That's a steal. That pays for itself, really. It does. Fourth of July brought to you by Cox and Crandor. They think our towns were murders happened.

Old sap trap at Florida. Now, I also typed in Worm Grunton Festival. Yes. It's Worm Grunton. No G. No G. Wormgruntonfestival.com. And the top image is three sexually provocative worms.

Oh, my God. Worm Grunton. I got to see this. They have three worms, and they are in bikinis with top hats, except one's top hat is, like, not on its head. Also, these worms have hands. Oh, my God. You're right.

What the shit? And what's worse is that one of the worms' arms is, like, a little too long. Like, just a little. It, like, goes up and around the body it's terrible and then you scroll down you see like the image that i imagine one of the murderers in town did before they killed all the people in this photo oh my god yeah there's There's some stuff here There's some weird pictures and art

From the Worm Grunting Festival Alright here's the thing I could have sworn The Worm Grunting Festival was like a thing From like 1826 Where worms But it's celebrating our 20th anniversary This is a post-2000 thing.

This is the year 2000 hit Stop Chopping Hard. They're like, what if we hang out with worms? I wonder if we could get our podcast on. Like, look at all these. If you scroll down on the sponsors, Festival 5K sponsors, you scroll down, at the very bottom is Edward Brown and Associates. That's like a blurry-ass image. If that could get on there, we need Cox and Crandor logo.

Oh, yeah. No, that would be fantastic. I would love. If there's something we got to sponsor, this is it. I would be so proud to sponsor the Worm Grunting Festival. It looks like it's in april so i mean we could we could get that become a sponsor yeah oh my god what are the oh my god all right corporate sponsor 400 donation includes display that's cheaper than the that's cheaper than the fourth of july festival includes display of your corporate banner or signage at the race registration table. Your logo on the back of race t-shirts.

Oh my god. Acknowledgement in the Akula News. Can we just make up a company and call it like Jimbo's Worm Emporium. We love worms. Oh my God. And then we get four Worm Grunton Festival t-shirts. Oh, my God. That's two more than we need.

Let's back up Worm Grunton shirts. Yeah, I'll give Toaster Woman one. So that's three. And then we can give one out to somebody. Oh, my God. This is... I want to do this. Would they let us do this?

They're going to look up this episode and be like, you said our town is where people got murdered. No, you think they care? If they're getting money, they don't give a shit. Yeah, we'll throw in a little extra for them and be like, you know what? Ignore the podcast. We want to be on shirts.

Oh, my god. This is one week before the date of the festival is the cutoff for vendors. Vendors? What would you vend? What would you vend there? Gotta be worms. I mean, why? Ooh, entertainment lineup.

Frank Lindamood is a storyteller whose bag of tricks include a banjo and a steel guitar. That can't be real. Based in Homosassa Springs, Chelsea and Emerson make up Well Worn Souls. Sing with love of music that shines forth in their repertoire of vintage country. Named for the historic rich Florida community, Coon Bottom Creek. That is... Strong vocal harmony, tight instrumentation. They're from Austria?

I would go see the Mount Olive No. 2 Youth Choir. Not the No. 1 Youth Choir. Mount Olive No. 2 Youth Choir. Definitely No. 2. No. 1 Youth Choir is busy. They got stuff going on. But the No. 1, they're killing it. Wait, No. 2?

Whatever. Oh, my God. They got stuff going on Number one, they're killing it Wait, number two? Whatever Oh my god There's a group called Ten Pound Pancake Bring your dancing shoes And join the headliner music for that night At the Worm Grunters Ball Ten Pound Pancake Are you

Are you sure that they have a ten pound pancake there? Or is this just a name of a thing? Crandor, I'm gonna open open this image in a new tab, and I'm going to send you these guys. If there was ever a group of gentlemen who looked like they'd be in a band called 10-pound pancake, I need you to know it would be these guys right here. All right. Oh, my God. That is a group yeah no doubt that's a 10 pound pancake this looks like a group of dads

and then their one friend with a beard who never got married oh yeah and then one of them that like had a had a phase where he became like a shamanistic person in new mexico or something one of those tours we talked about. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. There's literally two guys here who definitely are like, I'm going to bandswain and get out of the house three nights a week. Yeah. For sure.

I love these guys. I love them. We got to listen to some of this music. Fantastic. Yes. 10-pound pancake. It'll make you want to dance. Oh, my goodness.

All right. Well, that is the weather, I guess. That's the weather. Alright, Grindr, what's going on sports? Sports. NFL season's going to be starting up next week. Actually, Thursday, first game. It's Cowboys-Buccaneers.

Football's starting. Then we have hockey's going to be starting up in about a month basketball's got about a month but baseball coming towards the end here tampa bay first place white socks first place the astros first place braves brewers and dodgers giants tied in the west over there and then the wild card battles happening you got the've got the Yankees, Red Sox, and the Dodgers, and the Giants. Well, one of them is going to get a wild card, and they'll take on either the Padres or the Reds, most likely. And still got a few weeks left of baseball, though.

It's still trucking along. And that's sports. All right. What is our weird fact that we probably need To hear Our weird fact of the day Is Oh god I lost it Hold on

That's not good Hold on Hold on It's still good It's still good Okay here we go Hold on. It's still good. It's still good. It's still good. It's still good. Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go.

Now, this one, this might throw you for a loop here. All right. What do you think causes the most power outages in America? Dead birds. Birds. You're getting close. Not quite, though. People. Idiots.

You're still getting pretty close, but not quite. I don't know. All right. Give it one more guess. Not people. Not birds. uh all right give one more guess not people not birds um balloons squirrels the answer is squirrels squirrels but the appa which is the american public power association says that the squirrels are the most frequent cause of power outages in the u.s the appa even developed a data tracker called the squirrel index that analyzes the patterns and timings of squirrels impact on electrical power systems turns out the peak of times of the year for squirrel attacks

are from May to June and October to November. Typically, squirrels cause problems by... So all year, almost all year. Pretty much all year, yeah. They typically cause problems by tunneling, chewing, just destroying electrical insulation or becoming a current path between electrical conductors. Frankly, the number one threat experienced today by U.S. electrical grid is squirrels, says John C. Inglis.

Inglis. His name's John C. Inglis? This man is... No, Inglis. Inglis. I-N-G-L-I-S. That's exactly what, like, I don't know, like a raccoon in a human suit would say. That's exactly what Like a I don't know Like a raccoon in a human suit would say

Squirrels Are definitely the number one Concern of me A human John C Inglis That's definitely a raccoon Disguised as human This is their plan the raccoons are just like

And then they'll all be gone. And then all the nuts will be ours, boys. Oh, yeah. No, that's a raccoon. And that's your fact. That's your fact. That's your weird fact. Okay, what is our big news story of the day then big news story um big news story of the day woman charged with traveling to hawaii with fake

moderna vaccine card why you saw this one no i didn't. Why? So, an unvaccinated woman's attempt to enjoy a Hawaiian vacation unfettered by the state's 10-day quarantine mandate was thwarted by bad spelling. Chloe Mrozak was arrested Saturday at Daniel K. International Airport in Honolulu on the misdemeanor charge of suspicion of falsified vaccination documents. airport in Honolulu on the misdemeanor charge of suspicion of falsified vaccination documents. She's an Illinois resident. Great. Was vaccinated in Delaware. Sorry, suspicious by National Guard members. Also suspicious.

Identified as CPL Wolf and SSG Monty. So probably Corporal Wolf and Sergeant Monty, maybe. Yep. But Sergeant Monty. Right, right, right. Monte. So probably Corporal Wolf and Sergeant Monte, maybe? Yep, but S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S- issue. Moderna spelled as Moderna. Well, yeah. You know, Moderna. Moderna. Moderna. Come on down. Moderna will give you a shot, alright. She's just like, no, I really got it from Moderna. There's like some old woman

named Moderna. She's like, I gave three shots this year. Come on. Get your shot. Get your shot, youngins! Despite initial suspicions, Mrozak left the airport. Officials later couldn't find a reservation at the hotel where she said she would be staying, and she didn't list return travel

information. Special Agent William Lau of the State Attorney General's Office said he tracked down Mrozak by searching social media and found a Facebook account which she described herself as a model. Photo gallery showed Roszak with a distinctive tattoo on her left hip. Law enforcement spotted a woman with a tattoo at Southwest Airlines counter at the airport and arrested her as she attempted to fly home. After arrest, she told the officer she was vaccinated by her own doctor and paid for the shot.

What? Even though vaccines are free. Are free, yeah. told the officer she was vaccinated by her own doctor and paid for the shot what even though vaccines are free are free yeah this this reminds me of i don't know if you saw this there was a guy on tiktok he's uh one of those dudes who like just reacts to people being idiots right yeah so he made a post about how there was this uh woman online who was saying, hey, if you want, I have the hookup on vaccine cards. And then I know a person who I think is in upstate New York can register you in the New York database. All you got to do is pay me $250. I can give you this vaccine card saying you're fully vaccinated and then we'll hook you up. And I guess they sold enough.

They made $50,000 on it. Jesus. we'll hook you up and i guess they they sold enough they made fifty thousand dollars on it jesus and but this guy what he did is he messaged her and was like i want to help help i want to be a part of this how can i help you get more people and then she sent him all the information and he just reported them to the police and so their entire organization got taken down and i guess this week they're all going to prison but um people were just like wait so there are people sending you 250 for an illegal card that you know if you paid more money you could then have it put into the registry in new york and again the vaccine's totally free yeah and uh you don't die. Mind-blowing. Mind-blowing to me.

Imagine paying money to not get a thing that's going to help save your life. If you're going to be a person who's like, I don't take vaccines, at least have the conviction to live with the choice of like, well, that means you're not going to be allowed to do a lot of things. Right? Yeah. Oh, my God. right like that yeah oh my oh my god i watched so today i saw a video of a guy who was like i don't understand why they're trying to make me take vaccine it doesn't make any sense i'm just trying to go and like live my life and some guy was like well dude when you went to school they made you take vaccine shots then that's how you got to go to school you have to take measles mumps and rubella that's like a thing you had to do to go to school and the dude was like no but that was for like viruses and diseases bro and they're

two different things and the guy was like what he's like he's like those were viruses and this is the disease he's like no no no what yeah i don't i don't know i don't know it's like you know i don't know what i can tell you, my dude. But if you're going to have the conviction, it's like when you read about someone who's like, I don't take viruses or I don't take viruses. I don't take viruses. Like, I don't take vaccines. I live a healthy life.

And then they get sick and end up in the hospital. And they're like, is there anything you can give me? It's like, well, I thought you nature healed you bro. That's like at least live with a conviction if you're gonna You know I'm like jack me up fill me with what you got to fill me up with I'll take all the help I can get I'm no dummy come on Yeah, it's like you know very upsetting people are like I just got super sick And I realize how wrong I was like, you were wrong to begin with. You've always been wrong.

Yeah, especially this far into it. So don't take any Moderna. She's not getting the vaccine. What do you mean? I got plenty of shots back here. It's just like worms from the sap shop. Is it supposed to be wriggling? That's how you

know it's good. That's what's killing the virus. I put the bikinis on them myself. There you go. Yeah, that's it. Another great, exciting episode. All right. Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much for

listening or watching however you're enjoying this podcast. Crendor, hit them with the socials. We got socials. Go to youtube.com slash Cox and Crendor

podcast. All one word. You can find all podcasts there or just look us up on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud. We're all over. Also, find us on the

animation channel. You can see all of Dan's animations of us that are funnier than the actual podcast over on Cox and Crandor. All one word on YouTube. Then you can head on over to our other stuff. We got YouTube.com, Jesse Cox, YouTube, Crandor, Twitch, Jesse Cox, Twitch, Crandor, Facebook, Jesse Cox, Facebook, Crandor, Twitter, Jesse Cox, Twitter, Crendor, Instagram, Notorious Cox, YouTube or Instagram, Crendor was taken. And there's probably some other stuff.

Patreon, Jesse Cox, Patreon, Crendor. We're all over. Just, you know, we're everywhere. It's too much of us. Anyway, that's it. Thanks so much. See you all next time. And as always,

hold up. I'm holding. I'm shaking the rhino. To be continued.