Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 306 - Coffee, Ice Cream, and Other Mysteries

Episode Date: September 13, 2021

The boys are back and this time Jesse is out of town and overseas! So he's both tired AND DRUNK! This should be a great episode :P Also Crendor is all about Pumpkin spice - or at least he was. And the... boys deep dive it a McDonalds mystery that goes all the way to the top! All this and other nonsense on a brand new episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://getquip.com/crendor5 to get $5 off a Mouthwash Starter Kit including a refillable dispenser and a 90-day supply. Go to http://calm.com/cox for 40% off unlimited access to Calm's entire library.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by Calm. Calm is out there trying to chill you out, relax away your worries, and just get you feeling good, baby. I don't think they want me to say, feeling good, baby. I don't think they'd like that, but it's what happened. Also, today we're brought to you by Quip. Quip is out there trying to get your teeth looking nice, baby. I should cut that out. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trending. This is Trending in the morning.
Starting point is 00:00:36 In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Recorded. Hello everybody, welcome to an exciting episode of Cox's Grand Door. I'm keeping it a little quiet because I'm in a hotel room in the morning. That's a weird one. Well, I'm in a hotel room, and it is currently 1.28 a.m. Ooh, now you're working on Crendor time.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Yeah, so you know, I don't want it to be too crazy. Well, why don't you tell the people, why are you there? Oh, it's my parents' anniversary, and so I'm overseas with them in the UK to show them around a little bit as part of their gift. I'm their tour guide. How fun. Some days it's great, and some days I'm like, what are you guys doing? Jesse, what is this thing?
Starting point is 00:01:40 Tell me or I'll be mad. Sometimes that's pretty much what it is. Yes. It's like, oh, my don't i don't know i thought you've been here before that's what i'm saying sometimes ask me questions like i am a astute scholar of london history i'm just like i don't i don't know what to tell you but then i'll lead them around the city in a way that they think i know everything because i know how to get around. That's not a problem. But then they'll just assume I know everything else.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Like today my parents got lost. So we went and got amazing Indian food. Oh, my God. You would have loved it. I probably would have. Hold on. Where is my phone? I think I left it in the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Anyway, I took a photo of them. So it wasn't your normal Indian place. It was an Indian chop house. And, you know, every Sunday, instead of getting, like, little dishes, they serve you one giant-ass platter for the whole table. It has, like, meats and breads and veggies galore. You know how it'd be. You got all the lentils and the chickpeas and all the stuff. And it was, everything was delicious. It was so good. I, uh, yeah, this family went to town
Starting point is 00:02:53 on that food. It was, it was very good. Needless to say, afterwards, we were walking around and my parents wanted to go see the Chinatown area. And I like yeah all right sure i'll show you where that's at so i walked them over there and then uh while we were uh walking around i was like i was like oh no i was like i need to go back to the hotel room so i went back to the hotel room and my parents were like well we're gonna keep walking because my mom, I think, wanted to find ice cream, which is hilarious. And so, you know, they walked around. Maybe 20 minutes later, I get a message from them. And it's like, Jesse, we're lost. I was like, oh, no.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Guys, come on. You can't be lost. And they were lost. So I didn't know what to do And I kept trying to send them messages And my mom was like We're on a different road now We're on Water Street, nope, not Water Street
Starting point is 00:03:53 Wardour Street And I was like, are these Autocorrects? I was like, what are these? And yeah So I'm not quite sure How they got home, but they got back to the hotel fine. And yeah, because I thankfully have a lot of friends who live in the area. And so I've met up with some people who were around.
Starting point is 00:04:16 And I've been to a pub that's kind of like a hobbity pub. Today they had, yes, before this podcast, I did have quite a bit to drink Nice I'm drinking right now to forget about the Packer game I watched I saw I was like I wonder what the score is And I was like oh no Yeah it was bad
Starting point is 00:04:36 But it's like a pub That's six stories But down So it's like a hobbit hole and so inside of it is a tree and so like the tree is like all sick it's like goes from the bottom all the way to the top to when you first walk in so it's like in the middle of the room like the tree yeah kind of um it looks kind of like the white tree of gondor that's and uh and then so there's like multiple bars and every time you think you've reached the bottom or you found a little corner, there's
Starting point is 00:05:07 like another corner of the bar. Wild. It's so neat. It definitely feels a little touristy because it's right on kind of that tourist area. And I feel like at one point it was an Irish pub, but then they were like, let's Hobbit theme this for the kids. And it doesn't matter. I actually loved it.
Starting point is 00:05:26 I thought it was so neat. And, um, yeah. And then they, because it was Sunday, they had like an Irish band and they were like, I was like, yeah, it was lovely. It was super fun. But most of the time it's been me showing them around and my parents being like, okay. I mean, that was all right. Like, my dad has not found anything he loved until Indian today.
Starting point is 00:05:51 He's hated everything he's eaten. But he's trying to be like, bless his sweet soul, he's trying to be not spontaneous but, like, adventurous in the foods he eats. And so he's straight up getting like, he got a fish pie the other day i was like dad are you gonna like that and he's like oh yeah sure and then he started eating it he's like i hate this cool what else did he eat um he ate a you know like a british breakfast like a big breakfast thing hated that an english breakfast he it. I love the English breakfast. He was like, oh, God,
Starting point is 00:06:27 the scrambled eggs were gross. Beans for breakfast. That's awful. And he, like, didn't touch half the meats on the... He was like, oh, I don't like this.
Starting point is 00:06:36 So he didn't like that at all. And then... Oh, my God. So... My dad is very stubborn. This is just a fact. So we go to Borough Market, which is the place I think I've taken you before. And walking around, there's all these stalls and all these different places to eat. And my dad sees a meat pie stall and he wants to try a meat pie. wants to try a meat pie. And so he walks up to the meat pie vendors, and he's like, yeah, can I get one of the Moo in Blue, which I assume it was beef and blue cheese.
Starting point is 00:07:11 I have no idea what was truly in it. But it's like a Moo in Blue. And they said to him clearly, it's not hot. We don't have any hot ones right now. And he responded, well, can you heat it up? And they said no. And he was like, okay. And he went to And they said no. And he was like, okay. And he went to go heat his wallet.
Starting point is 00:07:26 And I was like, what? No, he doesn't want it. I looked at him like, he doesn't want it. I'm like, come on, Dad, let's go. And he stands there. I walk away. I turn around. He's still there buying it.
Starting point is 00:07:35 He's pulling out his credit card. I'm like, what are you doing? And then he brings it over, opens it up. I'm telling my mom what's happening. Wow. I'm like, Dad is literally buying a pie because he thinks they're going to warm it up for him, but they're not going to warm it up for him because they don't have a way to warm it up. I'm telling my mom what's happening. Wow. I'm like, dad is literally buying a pie because he thinks they're going to warm it up for him, but they're not going to warm it up for him because they don't have a way to warm it up.
Starting point is 00:07:49 He's buying a cold pie and he thinks they're going to warm it and he's like, he didn't listen to a word anyone said. And he comes over, opens up the pie. It's stone cold. He's like, what? It's cold. I was like, what the shit? I told you you didn't want it it i tried to drag you away from
Starting point is 00:08:06 the stall and you stayed you made that choice so then he was like well you know i can take it back with me i'm like there's no microwave at the hotel and he's like oh no back to america i'm like you're gonna take it back to what i was like what do you mean you're gonna take it back to america and then he got mad at me because he thought I was making fun of him. I was like, no, it's going to be so spoiled and gross by the time. Like, what are you doing? So his solution was he gave it to a random homeless guy on the street. And all I could think about was that homeless guy opening up that pie box and being like, what is code?
Starting point is 00:08:42 Absolutely disgusted. Yeah. absolutely disgusted yeah so it's been it's been like a wild fun trip but uh you know my parents are still my parents so they do their own thing they have their own drummer man that is the thing was like one of my favorite things about the the food was the British breakfast. That was just good. I love the beans and toast. It was a solid thing. The British breakfast, you get the mushrooms. I think the only thing I didn't like was the black pudding or whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:09:18 I don't think... See, the thing is, I came in late that day. I'm not sure why, but I met them for breakfast late. My dad was already one halfway through his English breakfast, and he was, like, not feeling it. And because I saw how disappointed he was, I didn't want an English breakfast, so I didn't get one and instead ordered the peanut butter and banana oatmeal. Let me tell you, that was good as hell.
Starting point is 00:09:44 It had little chocolate chips that were melted in it. I was like, oh, my God. It was delicious. As somebody who already eats oatmeal like four or five days out of the week for breakfast, I might put a couple chocolate chips in there now. It was like little nuggets of surprise because there was no chocolate chips on the outside, and the oatmeal was kind of like peanut butter brown. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:10:03 Like that tan color. And so it had a little hint of peanut butter. And then you had the banana, and that was very good. But then you'd scoop in to eat the oatmeal, and inside every, I don't know, third or fourth bite, there'd be a little melted chocolate surprise. And I'd be like, oh! Delicious.
Starting point is 00:10:17 It was very good. Oh my god, you gotta look at this one. I wanna make this. This looks like, this is my kind of English breakfast. See, here's the thing. I think he would have loved this because it looks like the English breakfast he got. I don't know if we just got it at like a crappy place. But like the sausage looked greasy and nasty.
Starting point is 00:10:41 The beans kind of look jank. This, like the scrambled eggs he got you know that video of gordon ramsay making scrambled eggs and when he's done it looks like a little too runny it's more like that leaping that's not scrambled i guess right right i think he would have enjoyed a fried egg i don't know why he got scrambled but like it definitely didn't look too appetizing so it definitely turned me me off from it. I was like, I'm good. But yeah, I've had some great English breakfasts, but I've also had some total shit ones. So I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:12 I feel like it's breakfast breakfast. You know what I mean? Yeah. You got to get the fried egg. Or at least a sunny side up egg, poached egg. You can't scramble those eggs. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like if you scramble it,'re going a little american there right you throw in some bacon
Starting point is 00:11:28 and a pancake you got an american breakfast it's not british anymore so but here's the difference you sent me two photos and they couldn't be more drastically different like oh yeah well the first one is like first one looks incredible yeah the first one's like what I want to try and make. The second one just looks like a standard English breakfast. You'd get it like a hotel or something. It does. And what's disappointing is the first one is like in a skillet. Even the mushrooms are cut like in a fancy way.
Starting point is 00:11:58 And it's got like garnish and the tomatoes are whole tomatoes, not chopped. Like little tiny baby ones. And oh my God, you get a baguette? I'm sure that someone's going to be like, a baguette with tangy breakfast. You want, buddy? No, it looks delicious. I don't care what anyone says.
Starting point is 00:12:14 It looks so good. Oh, yeah. People can't see what we're looking at. You know what? That's fine by me. I think this week, I'm going to make that one day. I don't know which day, but I'm going to make it. I can make those eggs.
Starting point is 00:12:26 The tomatoes, you just kind of, like, you know, cook them in the pan. I mean, the sausage and everything, you just kind of fry up. The mushrooms, I can do that. You just buy a mushroom, cut it up like that. And then the beans, you just buy some British beans at the old, you know, British beans grocery store section. That's what I hear. You just go to the old british bean section get those beans
Starting point is 00:12:46 blue heinz beans let's be real yeah it's just it's heinz beans they put them in like the ketchupy tomato sauce it's also going to give me extreme heartburn so i gotta be ready what if i instead got like bushes barbecue baked beans can't do that with that but what if i did look this guy's eating it with baguette so what there's no rules you can't do that. But what if I did? I mean, look, this guy's eating it with baguette. So there's no rules. You can't do that. The baguette, I think, is fine. Baguette's a little European than, you know, over.
Starting point is 00:13:12 There's no rules. Zero rules. I'm going to get Bush's baked beans. I'm going to get a baguette. All right. My eggs, I'm going to make those things hard as hell. Here's what we do. I'm not going to get sausage.
Starting point is 00:13:24 I'm going to get, like, an andouille. Oh, do. I'm not going to get sausage. I'm going to get like an andouille. Oh my god. By the end of the week, by the next episode, we both make this at least once. We take a picture and we tweet it. You know I will forget, right? You know I'm going to forget. I'm going to make it one day and I'm going to tweet it at you.
Starting point is 00:13:39 If I remember, I might forget, but I will tweet it at you and then I'll keep reminding you you better make this our dedication to bits is pretty legendary so I feel like this will pay off it took me like three weeks
Starting point is 00:13:54 to remember what shake the rhino meant and then I was like oh yeah I gotta talk about the rhino oh my god by the way yeah this is a perfect segue remember when we talked about Skittles yes so I bought a bag Skittles and I meant to open it last week but forgot so we're two weeks out of that bit but live on this recorded program I'm going to try one of these green Skittles, all right? What was the purpose?
Starting point is 00:14:25 Because if it was lime, to see if it was limes? Limes or green apple. Okay. Okay. I only remember lime. I have no recollection of green apple Skittles, so here we go. It's going in. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Oh, no. Oh no. What did they do? What does that mean? What does that mean? What are you talking about? Why did they get rid of the lime? I don't know what you're saying? It's green apple and it's not good. Like, okay, because you're going through the Skittle flavors, right? You got orange. You got strawberry. You got lemon. You got grape. And I feel like the lime, it just complemented everything. Like, you can go lemon-lime. You got, like, a little lime-orange-citrus.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Green apple, it just doesn't fit. It doesn't taste good. Why do they go with green apple instead of lime? I don't know. People are like, lime is gross, bro. And everybody loves the lime. Like they want lime back. I'm going to go another one.
Starting point is 00:15:40 No. No. Why would you put yourself through this? For entertainment. Well, I'm entertained, so that's all that matters to me. It tastes like, remember Airheads? Yes. It tastes like a green apple Airhead.
Starting point is 00:15:57 That's not good. That still sucks. That's what I'm saying. At least lime tastes like its own thing. It's a lime Skittle. It doesn't taste like a Skittle. It tastes like something else formed into a Skittle. Not a fan.
Starting point is 00:16:12 I wonder if maybe they had too many extra Laffy Taffys. And they were like, cut up the Laffy Taffys and mash them into a Skittle. Oh my god, yeah, Laffy Taffy. Laffy Taffys. I forgot all about those. Laffy Taffy's were sometimes kind of good and most of the time shit. There's a few good Laffy Taffy's in there. For sure. Agreed.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Laffy Taffy. You might be the first person to Google Laffy Taffy in the history of the internet. Well, let me tell you what I find when I Google Laffy Taffy. Laffy Taffy jokes. Remember they used to come with jokes? I do remember that. Next up is Laffy Taffy edibles, 200 milligram.
Starting point is 00:16:55 So that's some Laffy Taffy, all right. Then we got Laffy Taffy flavors. That's what I'm looking for. All right. Laffy Taffy Flavors. That's what I'm looking for. All right. Laffy Taffy Edibles, man. What? Oh, yeah. They had Laffy Taffy, Sour Apple, Banana.
Starting point is 00:17:15 That was the worst one. Sour Apple, Grape, Watermelon, I think, was my favorite. Strawberry, cherry, and then blueberry? Can I tell you something? This is going to make you judge me very harshly. Okay. I loved the banana ones. Oh, no. Unabashedly loved them.
Starting point is 00:17:36 It was that fake banana, though. Yeah, but it melted in your mouth in a weird way, and it made your mouth taste funny, and I loved it. Loved it. No, no, no. It's not. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:52 What are the jokes? What are the Laffy Paffy jokes? What do you deserve? Wait, that's not a joke. What do you deserve and is also a type of bagel? Everything. Yes. It is a joke.
Starting point is 00:18:15 You don't deserve everything, you idiot. What? That's so dumb. That's a dumb thing. This is supposed to be jokes. It's like those popsicle sticks where it's like, here's a joke, and it's not even a joke. What street does a ghost live on? Oh, here's a joke.
Starting point is 00:18:32 What street does a ghost live on? Yeah. Boulevard. That's actually a pretty good one It's a dead end I like Boulevard Boulevard's better We should start writing jokes for life
Starting point is 00:18:54 I think we can do it better Yeah Come on Boulevard That's just funny It's just funny Let's see what's another one Why did the sun Come on, boulevard. That's just funny. It's just funny. Let's see. What's another one?
Starting point is 00:19:10 Why did the sun go to school? Why did the sun go to school? Because he was hot for teacher. That's another good one, but it's not. He wanted to be brighter. I like hot for teacher because he's hot. Yeah. No, it's like, yeah, you're doing better than the actual jokes. All right.
Starting point is 00:19:33 We got. Why. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Why can't you? Oh, because then it would be a foot. Yep, you got it. It's almost like I am a master of bad jokes. Oh, yeah?
Starting point is 00:19:57 They call me a bad joke master. Man, yeah, these suck. Yeah, this is a pretty good one. What did the mouse use to build his house? What did the mouse use to build his house? Yeah. Bricks of cheese. That's actually another good one.
Starting point is 00:20:25 It's cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is also's actually another good one. It's cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is also very, very good. That's what I was thinking. That's very good. If you had to drag the pieces with a cart, I would have said wheels of cheese. Yeah. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:20:39 You're knocking out a ballpark. I don't know if that's good or bad But I'll take it So yeah that's That's Laffy Taffy How did we get here You ate one Skittle and we ended up here
Starting point is 00:20:57 That's right Speaking of other things I've tried I went to Starbucks And every time it gets to the fall season, I always get one pumpkin spice latte. All right? That's just, I know some people are like, ah, pumpkin spice. But, like, I get one, and I'm like, you know what? I'm satiating.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Time out. Time out. Who do you know that's like, ah, pumpkin spice? Who do you know? The internet. All right. I mean, I'll take it you know that you know them pretty well yeah you just go on the internet you'll see it and they're just like it's back
Starting point is 00:21:31 now a lot of people i've seen are also like you know what they're they're not feeling the pumpkin spice this year because guess what i got it didn't taste as good i don't know if it's because of covid with like less food and ingredients or stuff around. They're skimming out on it or something. Right? But it did not taste as good. It didn't taste as pumpkin-y. Maybe not as sugary.
Starting point is 00:21:56 I don't know. But it wasn't the same. Can I tell you before I left at the office one day I went out and got Morning coffee And I got like my normal order But then I too
Starting point is 00:22:12 Was feeling pumpkin spice I was like can I just get like a tall pumpkin spice Latte They gave it to me And I was like this tastes like shit So I completely agree with you It was not good I was like thank god tastes like shit. So I completely agree with you. It was not good.
Starting point is 00:22:27 I was like, thank God I'm not obsessed with this because this would be a letdown. That's what I'm saying. I was pretty excited because I've had over the last, I've done this maybe like 10 years in a row. I usually get one, maybe two if I'm really feeling fall. You know what I mean? But I was like, all right, you know what, let's have it. And it just, out of all 10 years I've done this, this is probably the worst one. What's weird is in the last 10 years, I haven't experienced fall at all.
Starting point is 00:22:54 So I've never had like falls finally here. I just haven't been, LA has no fall or spring. Oh yeah, that's true. We go from less summer to more summer and then back to less summer. I hate that. Like, I feel like the changing seasons, like, I don't know, it helps you, like, get into the seasonal mood because it's like, all right, fall is like, it's not really cold, but it's not really hot.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Although right now it's been like 80s, so it's like whatever. But I'm tired of the heat i'm like dude give me some like 60 degrees here uh and give me some rain or something and then you get the winter and it's really cold but it makes you appreciate the warmth when it's really cold and sometimes it actually feels good to be in the cold like i'll work out at the gym and then you go outside and you're like and your blood's pumping and everything uh i mean, I remember that feeling. I know what that's like. And I also know the idea of, like, seasons affecting you.
Starting point is 00:23:51 But I think I also enjoy the idea that seasons don't affect me. Because they don't get caught up in, like, you know, the Christmas spirit's lovely. And it definitely exists. I truly believe this. Because when it gets around holiday time, everyone, I don't know if it's just me, but everyone seems a little more like, like walking around like, yeah, yeah, yeah. In L.A., that's not the case at all. People are still the same shitty assholes they always are.
Starting point is 00:24:17 And there's something dependable about that. I like that I'm like, you know what? It's who they are. I shouldn't have to worry about that. That's true. My thing is, like, I always enjoy the start of a season. I'm like, dude, this is great. And I'm tired of the season
Starting point is 00:24:32 that's currently happening. I'm like, summer, I'm tired of the heat, I'm tired of summer stuff. Let's get the fall. Once fall has been happening a while, I'm like, you know what? I get holidays and winter and stuff. Let's do that. And then after winter holidays hit then you're like oh jesus like january february it's just like the sludge snow nothing's happening
Starting point is 00:24:51 you're just like god i just want spring then spring hits and you're like oh but then it lasts a little too long and it's like wishy-washy it's like oh it's like 60 today up it's like 30 today and you're like come on just be summer and summer hits you're, heat. But by the end of the summer, you're like, God, I'm tired of the heat. And then you repeat. And then you repeat. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So then. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:13 So part of me was like, maybe I should try it again just to see if it really is shitty. Maybe I'll get it from a different Starbucks. Maybe they just made it bad. Whatever. I just think pumpkin spice lattes have officially become the thing that sucks. People are just like, no, I like it though. I swear I like it. And you're like, nah.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Nah, nah, nah. Listen. I'm somebody. I've eaten a three-star Michelin restaurant, alright? My taste buds are off the charts. I've eaten green apple skittles. You can't keep saying that. You know that, right? It can't be part ofittles. You can't keep saying that. You know that, right? You can't just keep, you can't be part of your profile. It came.
Starting point is 00:25:49 I've eaten green skittles, all right? I know what things taste like. You know when we get like invited to events and stuff and sometimes they have to put your name on like a, what did this person do? Oh, yeah. I demand that from now on, your bio say,
Starting point is 00:26:04 has eaten at a three-star Michelin restaurant so he knows what's going on. I mean, honestly, that could work for some places and some people. I think it could work for everybody. People would be like, oh. Listen, I ate some shit there that changed my life. All right. I'm not even going to lie. It was amazing.
Starting point is 00:26:27 And I want to take you to one of those. If I could book another Alinea thing, but you would go there and we'd have podcast material, I think it's worth it. Look, I would do that in a heartbeat. Plus, that's like a business dinner, right? That's like half off. Oh, hell yeah. I mean, the government's going to be like, what was this for? And I'm like, right? That's like half off. The government's going to be like,
Starting point is 00:26:45 what was this for? And I'm like, business? I mean, we clearly talked about it on our business podcast. Business, business, business. So, where am I? Buy. Sell.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Yeah, that'd be fun either way i just okay yeah that's okay pumpkin spice so i was like you know what maybe i'll get another one to decide but then i heard everybody being like dude apple crisp macchiato that's the new thing pumpkin spice is over apple crisp macchiato you had to do that. And then I was in Bree's stream, and she was like, Crandor, just try Apple Crisp Macchiato. It's real good. And I was like, alright. Bree seems like she knows her fancy Starbucks fall drinks.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Alright? So I was like, alright, I'll get an Apple Ass Crisp Macchiato. I'll get an Apple Crisp. So I go there. I get it. And guess what? Guess. You loved it. It was okay.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Well, I'm glad you see through the BS because an apple crisp macchiato macchiatos aren't even like, I don't know. I've never even had a macchiato. Macchiatos aren't even like, I don't know. I've never even had a macchiato. Macchiatos are like, the Starbucks macchiatos are bullshit macchiatos. Google what a macchiato is and look at the size that Starbucks give you. Macchiato.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Espresso with a dash of frothy steel. Oh, yeah. See? What? espresso with a dash of frothy steel oh yeah yeah see what that's why people people have to make notes at actual coffee places that are like a macchiato is not a starbucks macchiato oh my god yeah i'd rather have a real coffee place macchiato that's what I'm saying. Huh. So apple crisp macchiato is garbage. So it was just, it was very sweet. It had a tiny bit of apple taste to it. And I was like, I want more
Starting point is 00:28:53 apple. You know, if I'm going apple crisp, I want a little more apple crisp. What was the crisp? It had a little bit of like, you know. I mean, so like doughy sugar flavor yeah like a brown sugar flavor so why do they just call it brown sugar apple i don't think that's gonna sell as well i don't know it's honest it is honest i feel like at some point it will hit that but don't they sell
Starting point is 00:29:19 like caramel macchiatos already yes yes so like i feel like they just took a little bit of like apple flavoring and put it on that and you feel like they just took a little bit of like apple flavoring and put it on that and you're like boom it's fall and everyone's like whoa you know that's what they did they went out and bought like apple syrup yeah and now everyone's like oh it's just like eating a caramel apple except it's apple crisp yeah i'd rather just have a caramel apple. Go to those pumpkin farms like Joel Jimmy's Pumpkin Farm and then you get a caramel apple and he's like,
Starting point is 00:29:50 I dipped it this morning. You're like, oh, that's a good apple. Those are bad for your teeth, let me tell you. But so is the apple crisp macchiato. It's got like 50 grams of sugar in it. Well, I mean like actually you try to bite into that caramel apple and it's like... like oh that's true yeah
Starting point is 00:30:06 yeah destroy your mouth yeah that's a good point either way i'm gonna this week i'm gonna try one more pumpkin spice at like a different starbucks and if it's just as bad that's it what are the when i get back i'll look at the flavors they have. I'm sure they have different flavors, right? For lattes? I don't know. In winter, the Starbucks does the... God, what's it called?
Starting point is 00:30:36 It's actually pretty good, their winter one. It's like a mocha. Peppermint mocha? That's probably too much for me. That sounds like super chocolatey and like... I don't know. I'm not a huge fan of like slap you in the face sweet coffee. I'm not all that much into it either, but every once in a while,
Starting point is 00:31:00 just a little bit of holiday spirit, you get one, and I'm like, ooh, that's sugary and then right afterwards i'm always like man i'm gonna make coffee so i make like the black bitter coffee and i'm like oh yeah that's the stuff it's like the perfect balance to it so i think the problem is is that because i'm in the uk i click starbucks and took me to the uk registry for starbucks all right when i click on things like, you know, what's going on with Starbucks UK? I click on muffins and there's just no muffins showing. Huh.
Starting point is 00:31:33 But it also seems like this website hasn't been updated in. I'm not saying Starbucks UK don't give a damn, but. They definitely don't. I mean, I remember being in the UK, and this was still one of my most prominent UK memories. Because we hadn't gone to... Where was Coxconn at? Telford? Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Yeah, we hadn't gone there yet, so we were still at our hotel. And I woke up, and I'm like, well, I gotta get my coffee. So I go out, and I found got to get my coffee. So I go out and I found like, you know, the old British like local coffee brewery, a staple. And I'm like, all right. And they're like, they got like 10 pour overs going. And I'm like, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:16 So I got a pour over of my like normal black coffee. And then I got a croissant that they made fresh there. And I just went out to one of those little tables in like one of those tiny streets. And I just had my coffee and croissant in the little street. And I felt that was the most European I've ever felt. Like I connected with my ancestry. There is a place near the hotel here that they have,
Starting point is 00:32:41 you know, it's just like that. And it has, I'm trying to think of the name, but it's like, oh. And it has, I'm trying to think of the name, but it's like Ole and Sheep. Or like Ole and Sheets. Something like that. I don't know what it is, but it roughly sounds like that. And yeah, they have like all this delicious coffee
Starting point is 00:32:59 and all these fresh made Danish and all sorts of stuff. And it is so good, it's gross how good it is it upsets me because i'm like where's the where's the equivalent of this in my area of la i'm sure it has to be in la there has to be like a nice bakery in la but most of the shit near me is like cupcakes and like fancy desserts for weddings i'm like I'm like, I don't want any of that. Yeah, sometimes you just want a good old-fashioned coffee and a croissant or a pastry. It isn't, like, crazy.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Yeah, what about those, like, almond-filled croissant things, whatever those are called? Oh, yeah, I know what you mean. Those are so good. Why can't I get one of those? Oh, man. I don't know, something fun, like a delicious, yeah, I know what you mean. Those are so good. Why can't I get one of those? I don't know. Something fun, like a delicious, freshly baked muffin. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:33:52 Yeah, I know what you mean. I know. And then someone will be like, well, Justin, you can just make a muffin. But it's not going to be as good. It's not the same. You're going to sprinkle little sugar bits on the top of it. Maybe some shaved, some type of nut on top of it. Like a shade. And it's going to be delicious.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Mine's going to be like I followed the box I put the milk and eggs in and that's... I don't even know if milk and eggs equals muffins. Look, all I'm saying is I would not be as good. And I only want one muffin. I don't want
Starting point is 00:34:24 six or twelve muffins. I just want one muffin. I don't want six or 12 muffins. I just want one. Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, if somebody does something all the time, they're going to be good at it. So you like trust them to do it well. Well, with me, it's like, I don't know how to make stuff. Right? So I trust somebody.
Starting point is 00:34:39 What I need to do is date a baker. And I attempted to do that once. I attempted to do that once and she ghosted me numerous times. Well. And so I gave up on that. But let me tell you, if I can like
Starting point is 00:34:57 date, this isn't like one of those things where, you know, I'm going to get messages people like, I love to cook. Not like that. Bless you.
Starting point is 00:35:08 I think you're amazing. I love that you love to cook i'm talking like someone where people pay them to eat their shit i want to date that person so then i can eat that shit for free you know what i mean like that's where it's like you know yeah i feel like all my relationships have to have that like extra added thing right it's like look love is great but i also get free baked goods as long as they're not singing kelly clarkson you're good to go here's the thing i'd be all right with that if they could as long as they did it well yeah they did it well oh yeah that's true they're doing it well i wouldn't i mean if they she was singing off key while baking i would assume that the food wasn't going to be good. But what if the food was good?
Starting point is 00:35:48 I'd have to turn up the music really loud. I'd be like, oh, baby, crank it up, crank up the music. Drown her out. Well. Yep. Yeah, yeah. And then I'd get some muffins. It'd be great yeah
Starting point is 00:36:06 yeah i think that's what i'm looking for what are we talking about i don't know that's uh laffy taffy muffins the i think we were talking about something with the advertisements well speaking of advertisements thanks Thanks, pal. No problem. Thanks, buddy. Calm is one of our longest sponsors on this podcast. We love them. I use them every night. It puts me to sleep.
Starting point is 00:36:35 I use them every morning when I'm like, oh, I got to get up and I got to stop my day. Oh, I need my little 10-minute power. I don't even know what you would call it just meditation yes like you do little meditations like 10 minutes long and it's great it's like a little power and and all it is truly is it just gets you to breathe and i think a lot of people forget to just sit there and just be like and just like you know start the day and get yourself oxygenated well if you're out you're finally traveling for the first time, or you're worried about going back to the office, there's a lot of stress. New surroundings can make it hard
Starting point is 00:37:13 to fall asleep. Going to the office again and all the changes associated with that, being in a new environment can be stressful. Calm is here to reduce all that stress, to help you sleep, to help increase your concentration and just make everything you're doing better because you're well-rested. And that's the whole key to the thing. If you've been dreaming about like a beach getaway, but you're nowhere near the ocean, right?
Starting point is 00:37:40 You may need to be a little creative. Calm is there to help you get that relaxing wave sound in your life. Maybe you can just sit there in your chair and just sip a Mai Tai. And, you know, sometimes we can't get to the beach, but maybe we can bring the beach to us. As you know, we partner with Calm, the number one mental wellness app. It has all the tools you need to improve the way you feel. Clear your head with daily guided meditations,
Starting point is 00:38:06 like I was saying, improve your focus with Calm's curated music tracks, and drift off into dreamland with Calm's imaginative sleep stories. All you gotta do to jump in on this is go to calm.com slash cox to get 40% off a Calm premium subscription, which includes hundreds of hours of programming
Starting point is 00:38:26 and new content is added every single week. Over 100 million people around the world use Calm. I can say around the world because I am currently around the world. Sleep more, stress less, live better with Calm. For listeners of the show right now, if you are listening and you're saying, man, I need that. I need that. Calm is offering a special limited time promotion. 40% off, like I said.
Starting point is 00:38:52 All you gotta do is go to calm.com slash cox. That's 40% off unlimited access to the entire library. That's calm.com. I just went to the Calm Twitter and they got a waterfall and breathing exercises and i'm just like zoning out that's what i'm saying imagine that every morning and
Starting point is 00:39:11 then she's like welcome back today i want to talk to you about good intentions and you're like oh give it to me mama i need tell me something good. Yeah. She sets you up for the day. It's very good. And then there's one of my favorites. I don't remember who the actress is. It's a famous actress, and she's doing a story, like a bedtime story. But it's her reading about a train. And in the background, our train track.
Starting point is 00:39:40 You're like. Oh, yeah. But it's her like. That's good stuff. And she has one of those great deep voices where she's like, and then the train moved. Like, Oh,
Starting point is 00:39:50 good night. Yeah. Lovely. Also today we're brought to you by quip quip again, another long time sponsor. Look at us. Look at us. Man.
Starting point is 00:40:02 It's so we good. We good. We're pretty good at this. We are. We at us, people. Man, we good. We good, Krendle. We pretty good at this. We are. We've said it before. We've said it again. I'm going to keep saying it. Quip is out there giving you brush powers, floss powers, toothpaste powers, gum powers,
Starting point is 00:40:18 and now mouthwash. Mouthwash is a key to your whole mouth's health because, you know, it gets in between the teeth to kill all the bad germs and help strengthen enamel, right? Yes, you can brush. Yes, you can floss. Yes, you can like choose the extra gum and all the, like that's, I mean, that's part of it. That's the whole thing. And your teeth are very important to you because you want to have these damn things when you're like 85. You don't want no teeth at 85. That sucks. As an 85-year-old, let me tell you, it's pretty bad.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Thankfully, the oral care experts at Quip created a super simple way to make mouthwash part of your daily oral care routine. It has a refillable dispenser with a compact footprint that will fit any bathroom, big or small, and comes in five colors and two high-end finishes. And it's, you know, it isn't just something you're going to put in a closet or under the sink or, you know, in that thing that's kind of like a mirror but also hides stuff in it. Oh, yeah, one of those. Yeah, no, this is something you're going to, it's going to look good just sitting there. Add a mouthwash refill plan to your already amazing plan, and it'll never run out.
Starting point is 00:41:26 With customizable subscriptions, you can get refills automatically delivered straight to your door every three months. You can stay at the top of your swish without lugging any bottles home from the store. How refreshing. Mouthwash is the perfect finishing touch to a complete oral care routine. Pair it with a Quip electric toothbrush for kids and adults, and one of their refillable flossers. You'll be surprised how easy and sometimes let's be real fun it is to keep your mouth
Starting point is 00:41:53 healthy! And Quip now has great tasting, good for you gum to keep your teeth clean between brushings as well. Along with the mouthwash, Quip also delivers fresh brush heads, floss, and toothpaste refills every three months from $5. Shipping's free, so you can save money and skip the hustle and bustle of in-store shopping. With affordable refills and awesome shipping and all the different things that you could need, you understand why over 5 million mouths are already happy and healthy and swishing away, you can get on it too. If you go to getquip.com slash Crandor5, right now you get $5 off a mouthwash starter kit. That's $5 off a
Starting point is 00:42:35 mouthwash starter kit, which includes a refillable dispenser and a 90-day supply of Quip's four-time concentrated formula. Get Quip at getquip.com slash Crandor5. That's G-E-T-Q-I-P dot com slash Crandor5. Quip, the good habits company. All right, Crandor, let's go jump in this. Let's go down, let's jump in there. Whoa! Traffic is pretty crazy out there, man. It is getting wacky, it's getting wild.
Starting point is 00:43:03 It's actually not that wild. It's just normal traffic everywhere. It looks like cars are just going around and planes are happening. It's normal traffic. Back to you. All right, Quindo. Now let's go over to the weather. How's the weather?
Starting point is 00:43:23 Weather. I was wondering where that was going. I was too. We've got a lot of crazy weather requests this week. A lot of really good ones. What does that mean? We only can choose one. We can only choose one.
Starting point is 00:43:39 I don't even know if I want to tell you the other ones because then you're just going to be like, oh man, I want to go to there. But this is the one I think I'm picking. Don't tell me. Save them. Save them. They'll be back.
Starting point is 00:43:48 They'll be back. They'll be back. Just repost your weather things if they didn't get recommended. All right. We're going to Sucevia, Romania, home of the world's biggest Easter egg. Now, is this like an actual Easter egg or just a surprise? You know what I mean? Like, we get there and it's the logo for Dark Forces 2.
Starting point is 00:44:11 You're like, well, why did they put that there? You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what we're going to find out. There it is. Sukiava. Sukiava. Romania. Currently, in Sukiava, it is 56 degrees Fahrenheit.
Starting point is 00:44:27 It has a 2% chance of rain through 5 a.m. Humidity, 83%. Get a little humid over there. Visibility is going 8 miles. Pressure, 29.99. Wind at 7 miles per hour. Dew point, 51. I still don't know what the dew point even means.
Starting point is 00:44:46 Does it just mean dew on the ground? Yeah, like a point of dew. Yeah, but at what point does the dew happen? There's your answer. Yeah, that's it. The point at which dew occurs. I goog's it. The point at which dew occurs. I googled it. The dew point is the temperature the air needs to be cooled for dew to occur.
Starting point is 00:45:12 In order to achieve relative humidity of 100%. Yeah. You answered your own question. So does that mean dew's going to happen above 51? No, it's saying that in order, yeah. So like in the morning, if the humidity is high enough, then it'll be like, what is it? So what does it say the dew point is? 51.
Starting point is 00:45:38 So like, you know, it means something. You said it like you knew what was happening for a while. Just because I'm confident in what I say doesn't mean I know what I'm talking about. That goes for a lot of people in life. That's, I think, why we're so relatable. Yeah. I think so. Well, two points, 51.
Starting point is 00:46:04 UV index zero of 10. And you got a moon phase. First quarter moon phase. Whoa, I haven't seen that one in a while. Hourly forecast, 56, 55, 56, 56, 60. Now, kick it over to the 10 day. 80. Some clouds.
Starting point is 00:46:24 All right. A little bit of wind monday night you got some rain coming in chance of rain 70 percent tuesday you got thunderstorms 73 percent 75 degrees 76 on wednesday with am showers thursday you're going at about 80 with a 24% chance of rain still, but partly cloudy primarily. Friday, you're going 78 with some showers. Saturday, 69 showers. Nice. And that's the Romania weather.
Starting point is 00:46:57 Saturday, 69 and wet. Nice. Have you found the Easter egg? No, I haven't found the Easter egg. Is it literally just the Easter egg? No, I haven't found the Easter egg Is it literally just an Easter egg? Sukavya Easter egg There it is
Starting point is 00:47:15 The town hall of the Manipal of Sukavya inaugurated a glass fiber Easter egg 7.25 meters tall 4.6 meters in diameter and weighing of Sukhavia inaugurated a glass fiber Easter egg. 7.25 meters tall, 4.6 meters in diameter,
Starting point is 00:47:30 and weighing 1.8 tons. Decorated with traditional patterns, establishing the world record for the largest painted Easter egg. What is it called? The, uh, Vegreville Easter egg? No, it's the Sukhiava Easter egg. Oh, the one I'm looking at is from Canada.
Starting point is 00:47:50 You're at the wrong one. Well, of course I am. You know what? I mean, it's all right. I thought it was going to be bigger, honestly. Yeah, I thought it was going to be bigger. Yeah, I thought it was going to be bigger honestly Yeah I thought it was going to be bigger Yeah I thought I thought It's not even
Starting point is 00:48:08 There's got to be a bigger easter egg in the world right Nope No one would dare The easter egg is just like Oh man It's the motion of the ocean No one would dare I mean what else is happening in Tsukiyama
Starting point is 00:48:24 Here's 15 best things to do. They have a fortress? Yo, honestly, look at this fortress. Wait, send me this link. They have a fortress. I never knew to be. Oh, that is a cool fortress. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:48:39 It's cooler than the Easter egg. Way cooler. They should have built the Easter egg in the fortress. Oh, my God. Yes. way cooler they should have built the easter egg in the fortress oh my god yes if it was like surrounded by stone walls then there's an easter egg in the middle that'd be even more precious easter egg exactly oh my god look at this other stuff there's like a painted monastery that thing is probably 12 billion years old oh no doubt that's the they all share spellbinding byzantine architecture number three is a house that if you ever became a wizard it's where you would live
Starting point is 00:49:13 oh yeah no doubt that would be my wizard house and then you'd like walk up the like weird stones that are all like scattered in the dirt and you're just like 100% looks like the place that you'd be like, I can see you in the brown robe and the big hat and a long creme beard. You're like, welcome to my home. Come in for a cup of tea.
Starting point is 00:49:39 It looks like it used to be a really old house and then I modernized it because I'm like, I can't live in an old house. I did some 2020 modernizationization redid the roof oh the number four is where i would live you'll like a dracula monastery yeah the monastery that looks a little like also a whorehouse yes yeah definitely does number five five's got another monastery. A lot of monasteries. I'm starting to think. Yeah, another one.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Yeah, if you just keep throwing down, it's all monasteries. Oh, my God. Wait, number eight. It's the same as number four. It is. You can't do that. I think it might be a mistake. I think it might be the same photo.
Starting point is 00:50:21 It has to be. It has to be. Oh, shit. They have a lot of old buildings i mean i'll give it that you know number uh number 11 looks cool it's like some old ruins or something number 12 is a photo of just trees oh yeah that looks like it could be anywhere so yeah oh number 14 the salt mine that's pretty neat. You know what? Last time I was in Poland, I went to a mine that was like two miles down. That was crazy.
Starting point is 00:50:54 That was like a little claustrophobic. But because the whole thing was underneath it was a museum in the earth. So you go to like, I don't even know how far down two miles i think and you would end up um like in a large open cavern with like tourists and stuff you go around look at the mines but then you realize dude i'm like so i'm so far down yeah i don't think it can't be two miles i've had to feel like i'm exaggerating two Two miles, I feel like we'd be like melting in the crust of the earth. Yeah. Yeah, no, it can't be. Yeah, that salt mine looks cool as hell.
Starting point is 00:51:32 I love that. Yeah, I love that salt mine. And then number 15 is a guy, I think, named Marginia. He's just making pottery. Everyone's like, go see Marginia. This guy's good. He's a good guy. You know genie. He's a good guy. You know what?
Starting point is 00:51:48 He might be a good guy. He might be a good guy. It's very possible. My genie. Yeah, it's the weather. Okay. Let's go to sports. Let's talk about a huge loss it's yeah big big sports stuff today um football nfl football has happened it is happening currently and i am happy that it's
Starting point is 00:52:20 back except for the fact that my team got destroyed. Oh, baby. Oh, Berber. I was very excited for today. I woke up. I was like, football's on. Let's go. And I was in my little football chat on Discord with all my football podcast people, Rob, Alpaca Patrol, and Bear Taffy and Dumb Dog from
Starting point is 00:52:39 the NLSS kind of crew. And then Sinvicta's also there. We were just ranting about football games and I was like, oh man, Tennessee got destroyed. Ho, ho, ho. Atlanta got destroyed. Ho, ho, ho. Oh man, they're dumb. And then I think the Packers
Starting point is 00:52:55 lost the worst out of all the team. It was pretty bad. Oh yeah, somebody actually watched it as well. It was terrible. It was one of the worst losses I've seen. Now, here's the thing. Last year, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the Super Bowl, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, at one point in the season,
Starting point is 00:53:14 it may have even been week one. I'm going to check right now just for statistical checking. They lost to the New Orleans Saints week one and they went on to win the Super Bowl. Also, they lost to the New Orleans Saints at some point in the season 38-3. The exact same score of today's game.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Coincidence? Possibly. But I think not. Um. Hmm. Hmm. And that team went on to beat the packers in the nfc championship game which means the packers will play against the packers in the nfc championship game this year i feel like this is one of those like and now you know the rest of the story yeah it is kind of one of those it was just it was a bad first week but you know what it's a 17 week season now you get an extra game
Starting point is 00:54:04 it appears all the other nC North teams are losing. The Bears are currently down 13-0 to the Rams. So all of the NFC North teams will start winless, I guess, if this keeps up. So, I mean, you know what? It could be worse. I think it'll be okay. I think it was just a bad first week. A little rusty.
Starting point is 00:54:22 I think they're going to be fine. In terms of other games that happened, Buccaneers beat the Cowboys Thursday to open things up. Texans somehow beat the Jaguars 37-21, even though they just traded away Gardner Minshew and got Trevor Lawrence. This is what I mean. They should have kept the Minshew. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Look, I agree. I think if you're giving away Minshew, you've already failed. Yep, they goofed themselves. Chargers beat Washington. Seahawks beat the Colts. Panthers beat the Jets. Vikings lose to the Bengals in overtime.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Cardinals beat the Titans. 49ers beat the Lions, although they almost came back. Steelers beat the Bills. That was actually a close game. Bills were up 10-3 at one point, and the Steelers ended up coming back to win. Eagles destroyed the Falcons 32-6. Browns lost to the Chiefs 33-29. That was a close one.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Broncos beat the Giants. Dolphins beat the Patriots 17-16. Broncos beat the Giants. Dolphins beat the Patriots 17-16. And then Bears currently losing 13-0 with the Ravens and the Raiders playing on Monday night. Give you a little baseball stats if you care about that. I'm actually really excited for basketball to start again. But that doesn't happen for another few weeks.
Starting point is 00:55:51 What are you excited about basketball season? The Chicago Bulls have been bad ever since Derrick Rose, his glass bones and paper skin fell apart. But the Bulls have now kept three players on their roster, which was Levine, Williams, and Kobe White, and they've gotten DeRozan, who's a pretty solid player. They got Vucevic last year.
Starting point is 00:56:15 They got Lonzo Ball, one of the ball kids with that crazy ball family. They got a bunch of other solid role players, and it seems like the Bulls are at least going to be mediocre to above average. Some people are like, you know they're not going to win the championship. I'm like, I've watched the Bulls be one of the worst teams in the league for four years now. I will gladly take them being just above average. That's all I want. I think Alonzo Ball used to live in my parents' building.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Really? I remember you mentioned the basketball player living there. Was that the one? I think it was. Because my dad would talk about how he met the dad. Oh, yeah. And how he would get the guy to call him coach, which I thought was real funny. I was like, Dad, you never coached basketball in your life.
Starting point is 00:57:03 How dare you? That is pretty funny, actually. I can picture your dad doing that. Yeah. He was like, oh, yeah, I talked to him in the hotel. That's not at all. Crandor, it's 2.12 in the morning. He's like, in the elevator.
Starting point is 00:57:22 He would trap him in the elevator and like talk to him and the poor guy had to sit there and be like yes yes yeah coach yeah like man i mean the dad is a little bit of a crazy guy but yes oh that's true if anyone anyone who like pushes their kids that hard has a little bit of crazy, for sure. Definitely a little bit of crazy in there. But Bulls needed a point guard, and he can play point guard and just make some assists. That's all we need.
Starting point is 00:57:53 So I'm excited to see how it pans out. I'm hoping it doesn't go the way of the Packers week one, but I'm excited. I like basketball. I think it's a good sport. Baseball, Tampa Bay first place. White Sox first place. Houston first place.
Starting point is 00:58:07 Atlanta first place. Milwaukee first place. San Francisco first place. With the wild card games. Looks like Toronto and Boston currently sitting in the wild card spots. What happened to the Yankees? Oh my god. They're 3-7 in their last 10.
Starting point is 00:58:22 That's terrible. I don't really like the Yankees, though, so I don't care. Dodgers and Cincinnati in the wild card over there. Actually, San Diego tied with Cincinnati. And then St. Louis a game back, Philly 2.5-B. That's going to be a close race. We-o, we-o, we-o. That's baseball, and it's pretty much sports.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Okay, let's go to our weird fact of the day. fact of the day this one's going to be tying into what we already talked about there is an annual coffee break festival what wait what do you what is coffee break festival yep how do you celebrate that so we're gonna find out for millions of people the coffee break is a key but often underappreciated part of the day. To stop and give the break its proper due, the town of Stoughton, Wisconsin hosts an annual coffee break festival. The gathering includes coffee tastings, brew-offs, and bean-spitting contests. Why Stoughton? and bean-spitting contests.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Why Stoughton? According to the city officials, the coffee break was born in the city in the late 1800s as women working at the local Gunderson Tobacco Warehouse began the ritual of pausing during the workday to brew up some coffee and have a chat.
Starting point is 00:59:39 You know those ladies had to be hard. Oh, yeah. Those ladies were like, I need a coffee break. Just like, eh, what did you do today? It's like I crafted
Starting point is 00:59:49 statues out of steel beams. Like, ah, very nice. I did that last week. I had to send my kids to work at the factory. My husband, that lazy bubble ganoush, he went and
Starting point is 01:00:03 he drinks all day Like two-year-old kid walks in he's like I am bent to steal beams and she's like good job Joseph You know our next extra coffee today Thanks mama Yeah, that's the coffee break And it looks like it happened a couple weeks ago, actually. I mean, that's not bad. And where does this happen again?
Starting point is 01:00:35 Stoughton, Wisconsin. And I'm somebody who's actually been to Wisconsin numerous times, and I don't know where that is. numerous times and I don't know where that is. I feel like we did a disservice to the accents when we were like Russian and they clearly were like, oh, you're taking a coffee break, eh? Okay there. Oh yeah, up there north of
Starting point is 01:00:54 Janesville, south of Madison. Oh, now I'm seeing it. Oh, there it is. Yeah, right there. Right there in the old Norwegian Heritage Center area. Yep, yep, there it is. I'm a huge fan of the coffee break. Can't believe Aaron Rodgers came back and put on that shit show of a performance
Starting point is 01:01:10 with the shitty defense. Unreal. I need a coffee break after that one. You build buildings and burn steel beams. That is Wisconsin way, yes? Sure is. That's the fact of the day. All right, what's our big news story of the day?
Starting point is 01:01:30 Big news story of the day. So, there's two of them, but they're tied together. One of them is, what the heck is Grimace anyway? McDonald's manager's answer has people shook. What is Grimace anyway? McDonald's manager's answer has people shook. What is Grimace? This is, oh no, I hate this. What is Grimace? Because Grimace has always been like a purple thing, right?
Starting point is 01:01:53 Is he a McNugget? Uh, nope. The manager of a McDonald's franchise in Canada has revealed the story behind Grimace, the purple pal of longtime mascot Ronald McDonald. Brian Bates. Is he a bladder? Nope. Is he a kidney?
Starting point is 01:02:13 Brian Bates, who has worked for the chain for 10 years, casually dropped it into an interview. He is an enormous taste bud. What? Yep. He's a taste bud. What? Yep. He's a taste bud. I was kind of right on the money, though. Yeah. I mean, here it is.
Starting point is 01:02:31 He was a body part. Look at that. So wait, Ronald McDonald. Remember when Ronald had like a bird friend? Yep. Like birdie or whatever. Yeah, I remember. And like the bird. And then Grimace
Starting point is 01:02:48 Ronald McDonald And friends I remember getting Okay this is going to date me I remember getting a VHS tape From McDonald's And it was like the McDonald Adventures Or some shit
Starting point is 01:03:03 It was like a cartoon and I remember it had like Grimace and like other people in it. It was like a Halloween episode and I don't know why. McDonald's gave out VHS tapes at some point. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:03:20 The McDonald's crew is out of control. So What? The McDonald's crew is out of control So There is Grimace Who we've discovered is a taste bud The Hamburglar There's a whole wiki dedicated to this There's Merrimack Cheese
Starting point is 01:03:40 Obviously Merrimack Cheese Uncle O'Grimacy Which is the Shamrock Shake version of Grimace. Birdie the Early Bird, she was for breakfast. Right. Captain Crook. Captain Crook? What the hell did Captain Crook do?
Starting point is 01:03:58 I don't know. Commercially, he's a pirate and similar in appearance to the famed Captain Hook. The character was compared to the Hamburglar, the difference being that he does not attempt to steal hamburgers, but instead tries to steal a fillet of fish. Huh. Gotcha. I mean, like, obviously. The Hamburglar wouldn't want fish. That's true.
Starting point is 01:04:16 It makes sense. They also have Fry Guys. I remember Fry Guys. Ah, Fry Guys, yep. Fry Guys were great. Dr. Quizzical? No, that sucks. That's dumb. Dr. Quizzical.
Starting point is 01:04:32 A scientist who appears in the wacky Avengers of Ronald McDonald. Yeah, that's dumb. They have Who are the little pom-pom kids? Those are the Fry Guys. Oh, those are the Fry Guys, okay Yeah, and then there's little tiny dudes who hang out in
Starting point is 01:04:49 I'm trying to find them They're like in a treasure chest, but they're like little tiny hamburger kids Oh, yeah I don't know what they're called The only other person I remember is Mac Tonight Do you remember Mac Tonight? Mac Tonight? What? Google Mac Tonight He Mac Tonight? What? Google Mac Tonight.
Starting point is 01:05:07 He's like the coolest moon you'll ever see. I can't even. How do you spell that, Mac? M-A-C, like a Big Mac. Mac Tonight, as in like tonight. Oh, my God, that one. Yeah. Yeah, that is...
Starting point is 01:05:27 He's a little too cool for me. That's what I'm saying. Mac Tonight's like, he shouldn't be at McDonald's. He should be anywhere but. Yeah, like... Oh my god, what is Mac Tonight doing? And there he is with, like, gremlins. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Huh. Yeah, I wouldn't trust Mac. That's what I'm saying. Huh. Yeah, I wouldn't trust Mac Tonight. Mac Tonight looks like he sells drugs. Oh, he definitely sells drugs and does drugs. Mac Tonight looks like he just, like, he's like, after this McDonald's, I'm going to the Playboy Mansion to do some coke. That's probably what he did.
Starting point is 01:06:03 At least the guy who created him. Yeah. Oh, without a doubt um i don't even know what the point is what's the point of the story oh yeah grimace is a taste bud uh grimace who's actually a villain early on doesn't resemble a milkshake, but he does kind of look like he may have inspired by images of taste buds. And then I showed you that, so it does look like he is indeed a taste bud. The problem is there's a character here that I can't find, and he looks like a weird scientist. But I can't find him, and I'm really worried about that. Probably because nobody cares about him. I mean, you're definitely... Ben Gunn?
Starting point is 01:06:45 Ben Gunn? Ben Gunn. Ben Gunn. He's a sailor who's been trapped in Treasure Island for many countless years until Ronald McDonald and his friends found him and the buried treasure. Ben Gunn. The hell? Bernice. Bernice is a strange creature from 1992 to 2001
Starting point is 01:07:05 One time she ate the movie script With Ronald and his friends And they had to solve the mystery And it stood for kids What? What? Bernice Oh the Chicken McNugget characters
Starting point is 01:07:21 Yeah Oh I love the Chicken McNuggets Look at these boys The Chicken McNuggets characters. Yeah. Oh, I love the Chicken McNuggets. Look at these boys. The Chicken McNuggets look like how I feel. There you go. Pace. Oh, my God. That does seem like that would be in your brain.
Starting point is 01:07:40 Yeah. Like, hey, hey, hey, buddy. You want to get some Nuggies? Okay. Come on. Yeah. Like, hey, hey, hey, buddy. You want to get some nuggies? Okay. Come on. Yeah. Anyway, not sure how we got here, but we now know Grimace is a taste bud, and it checks out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:55 It's weird, but it checks out. The other story I had was with McDonald's and why ice cream machines are always broken. Why is that? So apparently the FTC is investigating. What? Yeah, according to the Wall Street Journal, the FTC is looking into why McDonald's ice cream machines are always broken. They've sent a letter to McDonald's franchises this past summer
Starting point is 01:08:20 regarding what's going on. Franchise owners have reportedly complained that the ice cream machines are complicated and that fixing them when they break is hard. The machines require a nightly automated heat cleaning cycle that can last up to four hours to destroy bacteria. The cleaning cycle can fail, making the machines unusable
Starting point is 01:08:39 until a repair technician can get them going, owners say. Now, this is crazy because I watched a youtube documentary thing on this and it's actually insane what do you mean so pretty much the company that makes the ice cream machines also makes them for other fast food places like chick-fil-a or like wendy's and shit and they never have any problems so they're like why don't those places have problems so mcdonald's has a thing where people have these problems. They call the technicians and the technicians come out and they charge like a hundred bucks an hour and they charge like a hundred dollars for every 15 minutes after that.
Starting point is 01:09:16 So the company makes a shit ton of money off sending these repair people out. And then they make the manual really complicated. out and then uh they make the manual really complicated and so the the whole theory behind this is that the ice cream company makes a bunch of money off repairing these mcdonald's machines so they don't want mcdonald's to replace them with good machines because it's 25 of their revenue and but then why wouldn't they do it for all the companies because mcdonald's and this company are like old school buddies, essentially. And they're like in league together? Yeah, they're like that old school money.
Starting point is 01:09:53 Like, hey, you rub my back, I rub yours. Interesting. Yeah, because they won't let them use these other machines. They're just like, let us use these other machines. Other people got or update it. And they're like, let us use these other machines like other people got or updated. And they're like, no, you can't do that. What's weird is that when I worked at McDonald's way back when, we never had an ice cream problem. Which makes me wonder if maybe my McDonald's never cleaned its ice cream machine.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Because we never had a problem. It just makes me wonder now. Maybe we had dirty-ass ice cream. If you search McDonald's ice cream machine on YouTube, it's the top result for Johnny Harris did a documentary thing. This dude, it's a pretty good documentary. He goes through the entire ice cream machine manual.
Starting point is 01:10:44 He learns all about it. like talks to managers and stuff and that's like the thing he comes up with is like it's got to be something like that because then this dude this random guy invents this product that you plug into the ice cream machine and it like fixes the error codes and makes it easier to use the machine and as soon as that happened and all the managers were like yo get this product it's like helping us like make the ice cream machines work mcdonald's was like shut it down we can't use that not gonna use it interesting so everyone's like what the shit's going on here so like it's it's pretty crazy that does seem like some insider stuff yeah no because like i mean everyone else using the same company's machines is fine. It's just only McDonald's.
Starting point is 01:11:26 Weird. Yeah, that's interesting. Ooh, it's a mystery. I love it. So the FTC is looking into it, so we'll find out some more. But I think we've got a little crazy conspiracy going on there. Get on it, Federal Trade Commission. We can't wait to read your report. I want my McFlurry.
Starting point is 01:11:41 commission. We can't wait to read your report. I want my McFlurry. I just want my cone. My vanilla cone. McFlurries are too crunchy for my teeth. I just want my vanilla cone.
Starting point is 01:12:02 I don't know if it's like real ice cream or if it's like McDonald's ice cream, you know? Who knows? It definitely comes from like a package. Oh, yeah. Like a weird liquid package. Like you'd probably just go buy some ice cream from the store if you really want ice cream, honestly. But it's not McDonald's.
Starting point is 01:12:17 I like my Mickey D's. In fact, I'd probably rather have a grocery store ice cream. Or I'd rather just go to Wendy's, get a Frosty or something. No, it comes in a cup, and I want it in a cone. That's true. Sometimes you do want that cup instead of the cone. I gotta have it in my cone. That's the news.
Starting point is 01:12:41 All right. Well, that's it for us. Thanks for listening or watching or ever enjoying this podcast. Crendor, hit them with the socials. We've got socials, youtube.com slash cox and Crendor podcast, all the podcasts up over there on YouTube. You can cut off the podcast part, and you'll get all the animations on youtube.com slash cox and Crendor. You can go to SoundCloud, iTunes, Spotify.
Starting point is 01:13:04 I don't know, other places. We're probably there. You can find us on our other stuff. YouTube.com, Jessica Cox. YouTube.com, Crendor. Twitch.tv slash Jessica Cox. Twitch.tv, Crendor. Facebook, Jessica Cox.
Starting point is 01:13:15 Facebook, Crendor. Instagram, Crendor's taking Instagram. Notorious Cox. And Patreon, Jessica Cox. Patreon, Crendor. And Warhammer, Crendor. YouTube, Warhammer, and that's it. Okay, that's it for us. We'll see you all next time.
Starting point is 01:13:31 And as always, shake the rhino. So dumb. To be continued..

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.