Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 312 - The Toady Woady

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

The boys are back and this time they're doing the Today Woady! What is that exactly?! I don't think even they know! Also Jesse eats at a place called the "Dankness Dojo" and Crendor discovers a 500 million dollar home that no one will buy. All that, plus a wizard in New Zealand and cocaine hippos on this brand new episode of Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://calm.com/cox for 40% off unlimited access to Calm's entire library! Go to http://hawthorne.co and use promo code cox to get 10% off your first purchase!

Hey there everyone, just a reminder, we've got a live show coming up this December in Chicago. We'd love to see you there. If you want more information, please go to coxandcrendor.com. Today's episode is brought to you by Hawthorne. Hawthorne's here to make you smell great. Also, today we're brought to you by Calm. Calm is here to chill you the hell out, baby. Get you all relaxed. Let's jump in this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studios. Recorded. Wake your ass up. It's the next friend of the morning. It's the next friend of the morning. Hello, everybody.

Welcome to another episode of Gags Equator of the Morning. I like how you just said that you got to get real calm and everything, and then you went crazy. Yeah, it'd be like that sometimes. That's true. As much. Yeah, that's how it'd be. How's your week?

Is it calm and crazy? No. Well, yes. Yes and yes. During some hours, very calm. I was working on playing video games. I did my first Let's Play in years. Not years.

That's a lie. Months, but it felt like years. Only because I love daniel mullins games and i think they're amazing but i did read on the forums for the new game inscription of his that people are pissed which i thought was very funny because daniel mullins makes games that are like games within games within games right right and no spoilers for Daniel Mullen's game. The game that you buy is like the surface level. And there's other stuff in it. And so I guess because the surface level game is so good,

when, you know, like YouTubers or whatever, they would play the first hour and be like, this is an amazing game. I highly recommend you buy it. And they never experienced what the game really was. Right. And so all these people bought the game thinking it was just a roguelike card game. And it's literally way more than that.

It's like a meta adventure. And people are just furious that it's not the thing that, you know, 50 million person YouTuber said. It's wild. So, yeah. I was reading that and I was like, y'all are just dumb. So I've been playing through it at my own pace And enjoying and I just got to The part where you know The script flips and suddenly

You're doing something totally different And I was like yes this is what I'm here for I'm being vague because I don't want to spoil it But it's very neat On the other hand I played Super Auto Pets That was a trip what is that it's so it's like the auto chess but with random animals and it's you know it's very simplistic you start playing

you're like oh whatever and then by the time you're like 30 minutes into it you're hooked I want to play this so badly. You got to do it. I love auto chess. Super auto pets. I'm in. Yeah, super auto pets. It's free.

It's great. 100% recommend. It took me forever to finally win, but I finally got one after like 10 hours. That sounds like a blast. I played that normal, like the little Dota auto-chess they had for a while, and I figured out what the meta was and just started winning like crazy and eventually stopped because I was an unstoppable killing machine. I was a force to be reckoned with.

Yeah, that's the thing. Once the meta's hit, then you're like, ah. But, I mean, once you get started, it's a fun adventure because you're like, ooh. Yeah, I'm excited for that. I want to play that. I'm in. I'm in. Try it out. Yeah.

Let's see. Oh, also this week I was at the grocery store. You know how the grocery store always has that one aisle that is both tampons and dog food? It's like the weirdest aisle and it's like birthday cards and car parts. It's just like it's that one weird aisle and uh i was going down and i saw they had dog bowls and one of the dog bowls was called a slow feeder bowl and i don't know if you've ever seen this but it looks like a dog bowl but in the middle are spikes and i guess you pour the food in and it prevents your dog from eating all the food but it's also your dog is like navigating spikes and I was like how is that safe for

your animal? It is straight up just like I think they're supposed to be rubber spikes but there's like I think I've seen that. A dozen of these damn things poking out and your dog's supposed to eat around it. I would that would end up up a dog's nose that would like your dog will choke on that nah i saw that was like that sounds cruel and i kept looking at i would like stop and look at it and be like that can't be real and then i turn it around and be like helps your dog eat slower good for weight loss and i was like you know what if people put spikes

in my food i would certainly eat slower you're right that's true so you're like all right well i gotta get my green bean but it's stuck in here so we just navigate try to get in there yeah i would if you stuck a speak oh my god speaking of food so this i don't know what day it was some someday this week we went to a place you'll love name, it's called the Dankness Dojo. It is a bar in downtown LA called the Dankness Dojo. And it is, you know, just like a brewery that makes way too many beers. You know, you know how it be. And then their food menu is like eight things. But I learned going there that all their food is vegetarian. I no clue but everything on the menu is bar food so it's like burgers and nachos and carne asada fries

and i was like how is this vegetarian what do you mean so i saw they had a wrap like great like i don't know that i trust a vegetarian burger or vegetarian nachos. You know what? What if I just get... Because I don't know what the meat's going to taste like. Sometimes you can get a veggie thing that's delicious, and sometimes it's made with beans, and you're like, cool. Lovely.

Right. And so I was like, I'll just get the wrap. The wrap seems fine. And can I get the spicy version? They're like, yeah, we got you. I thought it was going to be a like a burrito looking wrap kind of thing it straight up was a taco bell crunch wrap supreme except vegan or vegetarian or whatever it is and it was delicious I was the happiest bug in a rug Just like Num num num num num Oh my god I was having a great

Everyone else got like Burgers and like Cheese fries and stuff And I was just sitting there With my crunch wrap supreme Just like Oh And it was so spicy

And good Loved it And the beers they have there Alex because he's a crazy person Was like Yeah can I get the smoothie beer And we were like What the hell is a smoothie beer He was like, yeah, can I get the smoothie beer? And we were like, what the hell is a smoothie beer?

He's like, I don't know. It came out looking like a smoothie. And we're like, what? It's like it's a seltzer. It's like one of those seltzers that you can buy, except there's a – instead of the fruit being like added as a preservative, they just added fruit smoothie into it. He's like – I was like, that can't be good.

But then I walked back up there and saw they had a pineapple one. I was like, all right, I'll try it. One of the best things I've ever had in my life. I'm going to let you know right now. It was so good. I was like, oh. It was great. I'm just going to let you know.

The Dankness Dojo, downtown LA. If you're in the city, go there. It's crazy. The Dankness Dojo. Yeah. You can look it up. It's the Dankness Dojo. It's the name of it.

I was like, this place is great. See, everybody's giving it five stars, five stars. Uh-oh, Andrew W., two stars. What was his complaint? Drinking at the Stankness Dojo these days. God, I'm amazing. Has all the joy de vivre. What the, I already hate this person.

This is somebody that's already too into their head. Oh, yeah. This guy, there's no way he's going to like the Dankness. The Dankness Dojo on the walls, there is one piece of artwork that is a Lego block built version of the screen from Duck Hunt. Where it's like all the Duck Hunt birds and the dogs laughing at you. On another, there's a giant piece of art and it looks like tentacles are coming out of the wall. And then another piece of art is like downtown LA, but it's done in like, you know, funky,

weird. It's very, it is purposefully tacky as hell. It's very dank as the kids say. Oh my God. This dude's left 5 reviews Of what? Of just the dankness dojo? Yeah

One star in 2018 Another one star in 2018 A 2 star in 2018 A 4 star in 2019 And then the current one which is a 2 star Why does he keep going back? It's very weird This is like a toxic relationship

You don't like it Why does he keep going back? It's very weird. This is like a toxic relationship. It doesn't have that. You don't like it. I don't know. It's like, whatever. All right, dude. Place was super fun. I don't know about any of the other food.

I don't know if the fries are good. Everyone at the table got fries, but I just got my wrap, and I'm going to let you know. That spicy wrap was amazing. I would go back just for that. I've never, like, you know, you want to get that, like, gross out food from Taco Bell sometimes. And the beer was right there. So I was already drunk. Plus, I had the crunch wrap.

So it was, like, perfect. Everything fit together perfectly that night. It was, like, it was a sweet time yeah that sounds awesome i'd eat that yeah dude it was delicious and then uh yeah i mean most of the most the rest of the time this week was just like chilling cruising went oh my god yesterday went to a final fantasy 7 remake concert in la down at the uh what is that place called the Microsoft Theater when I was there the uh you know it's like a normal concert they're playing the music from the game they have like the conductor and everything they have like scenes from the game on the screen and it was lovely but I was sitting in an area that was reserved for the

Square Enix uh and stuff, right? Yeah. And I was a little bit late because traffic was terrible. I don't know if you saw my tweet where I was like, I always think about going home three times. Like, the traffic was so bad, I honestly was like, I don't even need to. This sucks.

So I was going to originally sit next to Gerard and Octo and Alex and them, but they were in the the direct middle of a row and there was no way to get to them while the concert was on so the one place that i could sit was sort of at the end of one of the rows where there's four empty seats that was it there's four seats that were empty and i was like all right i guess this is where i'm sitting so i sat down and uh during the same time next to me was this uh this like dude and his girlfriend but his girlfriend was this i'm gonna say three foot two very tiny asian girl who every time a song would play she'd cry she'd be like i was laughing so hard i like Thank god I have my mask on Cause it was all smiles And then

On the other side of me Were These couple that came in Later than me I came in like five minutes late Like right as the first song was starting They came in Much later

Sat down And they both turned to look at each other And they're like So what is this? I was like oh my god What is this row that I'm in right now? And you know the concert goes on they have an intermission i talk to everyone i go sit back down in my seat and then at a certain point they're like ladies and gentlemen we were proud to announce today that all of the voice actors for final fantasy 7 remake are here with

us tonight a camera and all of these like lights shine right down i am sitting right behind all of them and so now i'm just like they're like hi so i'm in the shot with all these like great voice actors i'm just there with the girl who's crying next to me and the couple has no idea what they're doing there we're just like angled it was so funny and everyone of course then everyone was like dude are you jesse cox i'm like yeah but i don't i don't i'm not doing anything i'm not in the game and everyone's like dude you should be in the game so now i'm petitioning everyone i know to let me in the game there's got to be an old pervert in that game i could be that's good there's got to be something fingers crossed we'll see that reminds me i gotta tell you about something okay so

we're looking around at like uh random like apps on the like the apple tv or whatever and there's the hallmark app and i was like oh yeah like a hallmark movies aren't those like really bad they are truly terrible yeah so i was we got to watch some of these. So, top hallmark movie on the thing right now is called like Pumpkin Pie War. And I was like, all right, let's watch Pumpkin Pie War. So, here's the premise. Sounds like an anime. If you're going to tell me this is an anime, I'm in.

Somewhat. So there's two middle-aged women at a fall festival fair type thing. Now, would we recognize these as actresses that used to be popular in the 90s? Oh, without a doubt. Well, these might be early 2000 actresses. So they are like, all right right we're making our pumpkin pie and then they're just like you know i just can't stand you doing those things and then she's like i can't stand you doing those things and so they fight and then the one wins the pumpkin pie war or whatever and then she's like you always win and then she's like well, so they end up not talking. Then it cuts to 10 years later.

Oh, my God. That's like 10 years. And then she's like talking to her daughter and she's like, you have to help me with the shop because she has a bakery now. And then her daughter's just like, I don't know. I'm just good at marketing. And then she breaks her ankle. So she's like, oh, no, I don't know. I'm just good at marketing. And then she breaks her ankle. So she's like, oh, no, I can't compete in the pumpkin pie thing anymore. Then her daughter's like, well, I guess I'll have to do it.

And she's like, no, no, no. But she's like, I got to do it. Then it cuts to the other woman. And she has a son. Oh, the son and the daughter about to fall in love. Is this about to happen? Yeah. Yeah.

Hallmark, baby. That's classic. She's just like, mom, I just want to start a restaurant and do all this stuff. And she's like, oh, we got to win that pumpkin pie festival. And then she's like, all right. So then the son and daughter meet up, and then they're just like the classic kind of like rom-com. Like, so what's so good about you? And he's like, oh, what's so good about you?

And then they're like, now we're in love then they smooch oh yeah then he like bill he's like i brought you a picnic and then he like takes her and it's like a big picnic thing and then but what did the moms find out crendor well they do obviously they're gonna find out because i was like i mean i already know what's gonna happen but like i need to see this happen live. So the dads have already been friends behind the wives' backs, and they're just playing golf every week. And then they see the son and the daughter, and then they run into each other, and he's like, I won't tell if you won't tell that we've been golfing. And they're like, deal.

So then, after a while... This is the most toxic. Like, ten years of on eggshells around two women that will not just talk it out is crazy. Crazy. So then, this old, other old woman, boomer woman, is just like, hmm. And she, like, sees the son and daughter, like. Oh, is she the third lady that's like, I've like sees the son and daughter. Oh, is she the third lady that's like, I've lost every year to these two. I'll get my revenge. She's the third party.

She's like, now this is my time. So she steals their pumpkin pie recipe they've been working on together. She steals it. And then they go to, and she tells everybody about it and then so the the parents are just like unbelievable you've been seeing that kid that's the daughter and the son of the blah blah so then they're just like come on so they trick them and they all meet up together and they're like you two need to talk it out so they do one of those and then they're like and then they start working together because they're just like, I'm telling you, she stole the recipes.

They're like, I don't know. But then they start and they, you know, they make up and they're like, I just thought you're so good at baking. And the other one's like, oh, I thought you were so good at baking. And then they, you know, they all team up and then everyone's happy. And they're like, we got to take that lady down that stole that recipe. So then they, they're like we gotta take that lady down that stole that recipe so then they yeah they're literally like making this pumpkin pie these are like the top tier pumpkin pie people trying to i guess come up with this brand new idea so they made a pumpkin cheesecake with a pecan topping and then they're like they do like these what i love about is they

do the cheesiest little thing she She's like, I have an idea. Pecans. That's on half the pumpkin pies out there. She just thought up something insane. Like, oh, pecans. Wow. You're blowing it out of the water. I am currently looking at the cast of Pumpkin Pie Wars, but only their photos.

Only their photos. I don't know who these characters are. I don't know what they play. The casts of these movies are so by the book. I bet I can tell you who plays who just on actor name and look. Tell me if I'm correct. All right.

Okay. Julie Gonzalo, I assume, is the daughter. She seems like the young daughter. You're right. Eric Aragon. Aragon Eric Aragon He is the son His photo He looks like he's the son He's posing trying to look all hot

Oh yeah that's him And then I'm going to assume That Michelle Scarabelli Is mom one And Jennifer Juniper something is mom two. Correct. And then I'm going to assume that Pete Graham and David Allen, David Allen Pearson.

It looks like a guy who this sucks. This is like such a visual gag, but David Allen Pearson looks like a dude who's like, I'm the fun dad, right? Like definitely. I said vibe. And this is what this is all leading to.

There's one woman on this cast named Dolores Drake. And she had all the, like, that's the villain. Oh, yeah. You got it. You 100% got it. Like, everyone else looks like your normal Hollywood person. And then there's just Dolores Drake who just looks like a normal American. It's like, that's the villain.

The person who looks like a normal human, that's the bad guy. He's like, I'm sick and tired of all of you. I feel for her. I would be like, I'll destroy them. Then the pumpkin wars will be mine. Yeah, I get it. I understand. Yeah.

So pretty much they all do this thing. They create this thing. They go to the pumpkin festival or whatever the shit is. And then they're like, we are competing as one. And then the evil lady's like, they can't do that. And they're like, actually, we can. We checked with the judges. And then she's like, hmm.

Anyway, they get to the final part of this. And then the lady, the Dolores Drake evil woman, who's Betty. That's her name in the thing, Betty. Betty is using the picture she stole. So, like, she saw the recipe on a piece of paper. And she took a picture with her, like, iPad. And she's using the iPad and, like, following the instructions of the a piece of paper and she took a picture with her like ipad and she's using the ipad and like following the instructions of the stolen piece of paper so i was like if you're

gonna go through all the effort to steal this when you just memorize it or something so you don't have to like bring it to the thing so then they're all making their thing they make their pumpkin cheesecake pecan whatever and then when they're about to go to the judge stuff they're like now hold on it looks like you've stolen uh there is this the recipe used and she's like yeah and then she's like well is this the right and she like grabs her ipad holds it up she's like that looks like my handwriting and she's like and then they're just like did you steal it and she's like i would never and then she's like, and then they're just like, did you steal it? And she's like, I would never.

And then she's like, well, then let's have a handwriting thing to see your handwriting. And then she's like, fine, I stole it. But it's because you never lose, you two families. And then she like storms off. And then they're like, winner by default is this family. And they're all happy. And I was like, nobody even ate the pie. Nobody, like, I don't care if it's a default thing like somebody should eat the pie they just made to make sure at

least taste good no everyone's trying to watch their weight it's the pie wars i guess they're in training the the end is just you know they get married and they open a restaurant with the bakery attached where they're all like working together and then the dad show up and they're like eating for free again and they're like oh ho ho now is this now is it a Christmas movie well it's like a

October movie I don't know like a Thanksgiving movie an October movie you know what they finally were like we gotta it's a fall movie we gotta make something there's gotta be an October something that finally were like it's a fall movie we gotta make something there's gotta be an October something that isn't scary it's a fall movie and then

I was like what else do they got on here so we clicked on Love on Safari we only watched like 10 minutes we only watched 10 minutes of Love on Safari I gotta look up Love on Safari but I was like Lacey Chabert is in this on Safari. But I was like, Lacey Chabert is in this?

Oh my god. Yeah, I was like, that girl looks familiar. What was she in? And I looked it up, she was the girl from Mean Girls. Yeah. Yeah, so I was like,

oh my god, this is the Mean Girls girl. Because I remember I looked the one time and I was like, wow, she does a bunch of random movies. Now I know why, because she just makes Hallmark movies. Oh my god. So yeah, it's... And they're all just following the same formula you know

I guess yeah I'm looking at it now I'm trying to figure out if I know any of these other people in it but I don't I don't think I do yeah a lot of Canadian actors are part of these huh also it definitely yeah no it's it definitely says hallmark channel when the main cast is all like white dudes and then all the extras are black and it's like oh right because it's on safari right oh yeah the love on safari yeah right right right yeah okay yeah there's also um terrible frozen

love I saw that one making me look all these be like frozen love it was gonna be like frozen you know Rachel Lee Cook Disney what this is out of control cook yes what's she in um She was in, oh my God. She was in Pussycats, Josie and the Pussycats. She was in She's All That. She was in Cross Country Christmas.

Now that's a good one. Autumn Vineyard. Oh, that seems pretty good. That's got to be good. Yeah, that seems pretty good. And then she was on a bunch of TV shows. All right, well, cool, I guess. Yeah, so I learned all about Hallmark movies,

and I can't imagine just sitting there watching them. I guess it's like how people read the grocery store romance novels. It's pretty much just that, but in TV form, I think. Yeah. Oh, 100%. And it's like, they all suck. They're terrible. Oh, yeah. They're pretty bad. But I learned about the pumpkin pie war, so that was good.

I mean, I don't know that you learned about the pumpkin pie war, but you certainly experienced it. That's true. I did more so just experience the pumpkin pie war. Well, speaking of things I learned, this just happened while looking up pumpkin pie war stuff. Whoa. There was an article called Dispelling Four Common Culinary Myths. And the reason it got me is because it was one of the things on bread. And everyone I know is like, put your bread in the fridge. It'll last longer. This article says that's a lie.

What? Yeah. It says the freezer is the place you It'll last longer. This article says that's a lie. What? Yeah. It says the freezer's the place you want to put it. Oh, yeah. That's right. You put it in the freezer. Don't put it in the fridge, because the fridge will make the starch retrograde and recrystallization and stuff. That's why you don't put

cakes or muffins in there, and you should instead have a bread box. And they're like, yeah, it doesn't really help, but the freezer is where you should instead have like a bread box oh and they're like yeah it doesn't really help but the freezer is where you should put it if you're gonna put it all right look at that and i'm trying to look at this oh another one it says alcohol burns off when you cook with it but it actually says between five percent and eighty five percent stays in eighty five percent that seems like a lot all right i mean like that's you know that's a bs article but like okay

it caught my eye they caught my eye when i was looking up the cake thing yeah oh yeah that's probably how they get you it is 100 how they get you that's for sure like everyone come on i'm clicking on every one of these. Rachel Lay Cooks in like half these. Do you think that's like her thing? It's gotta be. She's probably very popular amongst the like late 30s moms who just want to experience love again.

Or for the first time. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they can call me. Or for the first time Right Oh yeah Yeah Sure Yeah Yeah Yeah Oh they can call me They have My DMs are open Is that right mama

Alright What's the matter with me I don't know what that was Well You know You know what something You do know is Oh boy

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Also today, we're brought to you by calm during this podcast i just want to take a break this is what this is right it's an ad break let's all take a break all right yeah unclench your jaw relax your shoulders forget everything we just said about whatever the hell we were talking about sometimes you need a little reminder to take some time for yourself and just relax. And Calm can help with that. That is what it's made for. Every morning, I take the 10 or so minutes that they have for the morning sort of relaxation thing to get your breathing exercises in. I love that little meditation. It's great. It sets up my whole day. You don't take a lot of time just to stop and breathe. And Calm does that. It is the number one mental wellness app on the internet.

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That's C-A-L-M dot C-O-M slash C-O-X. All right, Crandor, let's go to chapter six. Let's go to the Crandor. Let's go to the chapter. Oh, boy, the traffic. Let me tell you about the traffic. It's raining everywhere, and it's just all trafficked up. I'll tell you that much About the traffic

This is a terrible traffic segment Back to you Alright thanks Grendor Just to give you a heads up How bad the traffic was in LA I got on the 10 And it said on my GPS thing It's like it will take 15 minutes

To get from where you are to the event i got on at 6 p.m i arrived at 6 55 imagine going three miles and it taking 55 minutes i was like i could have got out and walked and been there i was so upset i was so mad i was just like thank god i was like I could have got out and walked And been there I was so upset I was so mad I was just like Thank god I was like dude You're fine it's okay And I was like I could just go home I could just go home and not deal with this

And like do anything else Oh yeah and then this like traffic Was so bad people would just pull in front Of you and then I got stuck behind a van And the van was driving so slow, people were getting around the van. But I couldn't get around because everyone next to me was driving like 100 miles an hour. So it sucked. I was just trapped.

Hated it. It reminded me of this thing I saw called The One. Have you seen that? Not the show. Or the movie? No, like The House. What? Yeah. What like the house what yeah so i heard bill burr i heard bill burr rant about this but there's this house it's called the one and it's worth 500 million dollars and nobody wants to buy it and now it has defaulted on $100 million in debt forcing a sale.

To who? I guess the bank. Nobody wants to buy it. Who's going to buy it? If you're a billionaire and you buy this house, you probably can't even afford to keep it and do shit because you're going to have to pay taxes. You're going to have to pay a bunch of people to clean it and live there.

It's insane. It has 42 bathrooms. Yeah, I just looked this up. Wow. And an Instagram post last summer, Niall Naomi, the project's developer, which is by the way, this was purposely built. This is insane.

Pitch the 105,000 square feet. 105,000 square feet? Yeah. Home is having seven pools. Seven pools? A 50-car garage. 50 cars? And a 10,000-bottle wine cellar.

And even its own nightclub. Promoters being the largest, most expensive urban property in the world, the one was expected to come to market at $500 million, according to the video Naomi posted on Instagram. But it suffered many delays and complications and now faces a court-ordered sale to pay debts nami borrowed 82.5 million from hanky capital in 2018 to continue building the home but in march of this year hanky served a notice of default sending the property towards foreclosure sale nami had 90 days to pay or renegotiate the

debt which had grown to more than 110 million dollars oh my god yeah during a video tour of the home she said it would probably be on sale for just a couple of weeks all right what is this oh my god this video has eight million views yeah let's call it just youtube the one house and you'll find it it is actually insane like this dude who looks like like this hey it's me old la man he like goes on a tour with the man who designed it who's just got his beanie on he's just like yo man i fucking built this shit and you Just like look and it is it is Insane it is also Kind of atrocious like you have to

Walk yeah you have to walk on a Marble thing into a marble door that Opens sideways it's also like a Security elevator just you Walk in it looks like an art gallery not a home It's crazy looking no Of course no one's gonna buy this Yeah it has like a nightclub in it.

Why would you want a nightclub in your home? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. The only people that are going to have nightclubs in their homes are like porn directors and rappers. And neither one has $500 million. And if they do have $500 million, they're smart enough to understand not to spend it on this. If you're a $500 million rap star, you are not spending it on this. Oh, yeah.

The only thing I can see is people renting this out for a weekend. This also has the same vibe of, you know when people tell you don't flaunt your wealth? Yeah. This is one of those things where like you know whoever buys this they're setting themselves up to be immediately home rated like if i was a gangsta i would take this place down like yeah it's i don't even know like how you get here i guess it's like up it looks above everything in la like you're up on a really high hill. Yeah.

Which when I listened to Bill Burr, he was saying that this place has a bunch of fires all the time. So he's like, I'd be worried this place is going to burn down. This area is like in the hills where Michelle, my friend, lives near this area. And she lives in like one of the like hill areas. and she lives in like one of the like hill areas and straight up i'll send every time there's a fire i'll get photos of like just her backyard burning down and i'm like how much never would i live there no never i am blown away by like i can't get over this there's so much here another great so they show the office and the office is a bookshelf that goes up to the vaulted ceiling. But what would you put up there?

You could never get up there. You could never. It's just logic is out the window here. It's just so much stuff. You just don't need it. Even as a rich person, you don't need it. Also, they filled in like they, they added furniture and things to this, but like why that's more money now that I'm

like y'all spent $110 million worth of junk. There's just art everywhere. Like, yes, this is an art piece that we had installed Why? Why did you install that art piece? Wouldn't I have my own taste? Why would I want that art piece? Yeah well the You do have your own taste But like in the movie theater room

You can put up your own movie posters So it has like digital movie posters Yeah Thank god so when you buy it You can put up your own movie posters Yeah it's like I'm chilling out in the humidor right now. Get out of the cigar lounge. Art Gallery 1. F this guy. I'm blown away that this exists.

Guest bedrooms finally. Oh my God. You got the guest bedrooms. Sky Deck. Where's the main bedroom? I haven't even seen the main bedroom. Did I skip it? That's probably part two. Outdoor? Part two. There's a part two?

Oh my god, there's a part two. Never mind, I don't care that much. I didn't realize that. There is a, yeah. The thing is, like, there's also, like, the Worker area which is like Hotel rooms so like you take care of this Mansion and you live in like hotel rooms This guy I'm

Blown away that this guy Producer Michael 1.27 Million subscribers on YouTube All of his videos are like Here I am looking at Drake's 2 million dollar watch Alright I'm over here at an incredible bel-air modern mansion i hate this this guy has 225 million dollars in diamonds on one

hand and it's just everyone like this rich fetishism is disgusting like i never have understood this where it's like yeah this is my is my $80 million boat. Come look. Like, what the hell? Yeah, I don't. It just hits the point where it's the keeping up with the Johnsons. But, like, I have $40 million. I have $45 million. Like, oh.

Yeah, I hate this. I hate all of it. Yeah, no, that's too much for me. Way too much. gross the worst part is When he like interviews the people that are That live there and every single one of them Looks like how you imagine someone who lives in a 16 million dollar home would look

Yeah like just like This is top 100 twitch streamers I'm not there Yeah we are not in that space we don't have a 2 million dollar Home yet Um I'm not there. Yeah, we are not in that space. We don't have a $2 million home yet. Really, that's the traffic report. All right. What's going on in the weather?

Weather time. All right. It's time for the weather. I think someone recommended a pretty good weather thing last week. Hold on. Let me see here. Let me see. Here it is.

It's the top comment. Weather request for Toad Suck, Arkansas. I love that. Toad Suck. Toad Suck was ranked number one. Toad Suck was ranked number one in a 2012 poll of worst town names in the U.S. The neighboring city of Conway, the town where they went to college, has a yearly festival called Toad Suck Days. The city holds the world champion toad races annually in the Toad Dome. Toad Suck Days? Go to ToadSuck.org. I'm on there right now.

Right now in Toadstuck, Arkansas. It's 77 degrees, partly cloudy, 22% chance of rain through 10 p.m. You got tornado watch. You got 70% humidity, 29.79 inches of pressure, 9-mile visibility, 13-mile-an-hour winds, 66 on the dew point, UV 0 of 10, waning gibbous on the moon phase. Looking at the 10 day oh yeah they're gonna deal with some thunderstorms right now uh but on the 10 day monday sunny 74 tuesday mostly sunny 72 wednesday rain 66 thursday you got 62 with some showers friday 60 mostly

cloudy saturday 68 and sunny and sunday for ha Halloween, you've got sunny with 71 degrees. At Toad Suck Days 2021, you can meet the official mascots, Croker W. Toad and Daisy Toad. Croker W. Toad. That guy, that's like David S. Pumpkin. They just gave that guy a middle name for no reason. I love that. Croaker W. And then his girlfriend, Daisy

Toad. Join them Toadmaster for the Toady Wody at the Toad Dome. What the hell did you just say? The Toady Wody? The Toady Wody. W-O-A-D-Y. The Toady Wody. What's the Toady Wody? Well, you know, the Toady Wody. W-O-A-D-Y. The Toady Wody. What's the Toady Wody?

Well, you know, the Toady Wody. You know. I want to know about the Toady Wody. I don't know. Education. Here we go. Educate me. For more than 100 years, education has been the cornerstone.

I don't care. Just tell me about the Toady Wody. And I look at the bottom. There's like a bunch of people that got their, like a bunch of kids that got their certificates. What are they certified in? Toady Wody? Michael Aaron learns how to dance the Toady Wody at Toad Suck Days. I guess it's a dance?

This is a video. This is a video of a man dancing the Toady Wody. Oh, no, there's three minutes of commercials. All right, I'm good. I don't care that much. I'm all right. I don't care that much. I'm all right. I don't care that much. That's Toad Suck.

Yeah, all right. Toad Suck. It's a thing. Let's go to sports. Sports. Big sports week in general. So we'll start with the NFL games. First things first, we had the...

NFL games. First things first, we had the Broncos beat the Browns. No, the Browns beat the Broncos. Sorry, I was wrong. In fact, it was a pretty sad game. Browns came out and they had backup players and they still beat the Broncos.

Titans destroyed the Chiefs. That was a weird game. The Chiefs were falling apart. Pack still beat the broncos uh titans destroyed the chiefs that was a weird game yeah falling apart uh packers beat the washington football team yeah uh the bengals crush the ravens the giants beat the panthers the falcons beat the dolphins happening anymore the patriots destroyed the jets 54 13 the raiders beat the13. The Raiders beat the Eagles. The Rams beat the Lions. The Buccaneers destroyed the Bears. The Cardinals destroyed the Houston Texans.

The Colts are currently beating the 49ers 20-12 in the fourth quarter. And tomorrow, it's Saints against Seahawks for Monday night. I'm excited. Thursday night, Packers-Cardinals. That's going to be a good one. 6-1 versus 7-0. I'm excited. Thursday night, Packers-Cardinals.

That's a good one. 6-1 versus 7-0. Woo! Also, over in baseball, we've got World Series teams. The Atlanta Braves taking on the Houston Astros. Should be a good World Series. I mean, like, all right. Those are neither teams I care about.

I'm cheering for Atlanta because usually Houston's here all the time. The Dodgers were here all the time. The Red Sox have been here. So I'm like, hey, Atlanta's been here since like 99 or something. So I'm like, I'll cheer for them. Over in basketball, I'm having a good time. I've been watching the Bulls. They are 3-0, undefeated, first place. It's been great. Hornets also 3-0. Wizards 2-0. Undefeated. First place. It's been great.

Hornets also 3-0. Wizards 2-0. Knicks 2-1. 76ers 2-1. Bucks 2-1. Over in the West, Warriors, Jazz, and Timberwolves all 2-0. Nuggets 2-0. Grizzlies 2-0.

And Lakers 0-2. They're not having a good time. And then in hockey, hockey has started up. And Florida Panthers in first place. And the New York Rangers in first place. Meanwhile, the St. Louis Blues, the Minnesota Wilds in first. And the Edmonton Oilers in first. So some weird teams up in first place there.

That's sports. Okay. Let's talk weird facts. Yes. Let's talk weird facts. Let's talk weird facts. This one is pretty wacky, I'd say. Clouds, right?

You know clouds up in the sky. I'm aware of them. Good. I mean, you know, the science is still out, but I'm aware. Okay, that's all we need. Clouds can weigh more than a million pounds. I'm sorry, what? That's right.

Clouds are not as light and fluffy as they appear. In fact, researchers have found a single cloud weighs about 1.1 million pounds. How do you know? How do they know? Well, that number is calculated by taking the water density of a cloud and multiplying it by its volume. Fortunately, the cloud can still float at that weight because the air below it is even heavier. What? Wait,

what? I guess it's like the oil and water how like... Like, I understand what they're saying, but it seems like the weight is way off. Yeah. I mean, like, I would imagine all the water vapor, like, is it condensed? What is the

sizing? I just just i don't know i ain't no scientist all i'm saying is this doesn't seem like well-written science i believe it but it doesn't seem like it's well written like the way they're saying things is is dumb because the cloud in itself like what size cloud how big of a cloud what's a normal cloud yeah yeah i don't know i guess their main point is that clouds are actually really heavy all right okay um that's your fact of the day what's our big news story today big news story of the day uh i did see this one which was court rules p Pablo Escobar's cocaine hippos are legally people. I hope the cocaine hippos are actually hippos and not just people he called cocaine hippos.

That would be rude. More than 80 hippos previously owned by Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar. He's got a lot of it. Now, were they addicted to coke or were they just like bought with coke money? I don't know. Let's find out. They are the first non-human creatures to be legally considered people. Why?

What? I don't know. The U.S. District for the Southern District of Ohio recognized the late Escobar's famous cocaine hippos as legal persons for the first time in the United States. The ruling on October 15th came on the same day as the Animal Legal Defense Fund filed an application on behalf of the hippo plaintiffs in Colombia intended to stop that country's government from killing the animals. The ALDF announced that decision in a news release Wednesday. The hippos are descendants of four illegally imported by Escobar. Oh, they were set free after the death in 1993. Since then, they have increased their numbers to more than 80.

They are reportedly wrecking havoc on the local ecosystem. Well, man, that's like a tough, you you know they're not supposed to be there right like that's a tough thing i don't know however some scientists have argued they may have actually they may be restoring ecological functions lost for thousands of years due to human-driven extinctions in july colombian attorney luis domingo gomez maldonado filed a lawsuit on behalf of the animals to save them from being killed, saying the sterilization was a better option. Although Columbia law gives non-human creatures

legal standing to bring lawsuits to protect their interests, that country's legal system can't compel someone in the U.S. to produce documents supporting their case. However, a U.S. law allows interested persons in Columbia to go to a U.S. federal court to seek the ability to obtain documents and testimony. So the ALDF applied for the hippo's rights to compel two Ohio wildlife experts who study non-surgical sterilization to provide testimony on behalf of the plaintiffs. By granting the application, the district court recognized animals as legal persons for the first time in U.S. history. It's obvious that animals actually do have legal rights.

For example, the right to not be cruelly abused or killed. But a legal right is only as valuable as one's right to enforce that legal right. Christopher Berry, the attorney overseeing the U.S. case, who also serves as managing director of the legal... The legal system doesn't have precedent for animals interest directly appearing in court there's no precedent for animals having a legal standing to enforce their own rights i mean i guess i don't know i don't know what like the rules are really you know what i mean like it's just this is one of those things where i'm like is not lawyers. It just becomes too complex.

Well, I mean, I understand that they like loophole thing. They made them people to save them from being killed. Like I get the legality of it and I get like what they're trying to pull. But also there's all the native species kind of things and habitats and this and that and invasive. Like there's reasons why you can't bring certain animals to certain parts of the world because it throws everything out of whack. But then there's some science saying that apparently

it's fine? I don't know. Again, it seems very complicated for cocaine hippos. It's almost like they were never meant to be in the world. These poor coked up big tooth idiots. Also, I saw this story

and I have to bring it up. Okay. New Zealand City's official wizard has been taken off its payroll. Yeah, the official wizard. The official wizard. New Zealand City seems to have

left its vulnerable to a revenge hex. The City Council of Christchurch announced it will stop paying its official wizard 16,000 New Zealand monies or 14,000 New Zealand money. 10,400 US dollars a year. $10,400 US dollars a year. Ian Brackenbury Chanel, aka The Wizard, has been serving as the city's appointed necromancer since the olden days of 1998. Necromancer?

Time out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. A wizard is no necromancer, and a necromancer is no wizard. They need to get it straight. They got to get this straight. They got it all mixed up. Is he rezzing the dead?

Is he resurrecting ghouls or is he casting spells this is he has made a total of around $258,000 to provide acts of wizardry and other wizard like services as part of a promotional work

for the city of Christchurch council city council assistant chief executive lynn mclellan told stuff that the council made the difficult decision to fire their local mage because the promotional landscape of the city is changing and it would like to fund offerings that will increasingly reflect our diverse communities the, who frankly should have been, who should have used his powers to see this coming, said the council has no imagination and projects

an image of bureaucrats drinking lattes on the boulevard. Unlike him, drinking potions in a back alley. Also, this is the wizard. Oh my god, we have a photo. Hold on. That looks like a movie still this looks like get out of this guy made two hundred thousand dollars being a wizard

250 000 since 98 all right you know what that's still a lot of money for doing it's still a lot yeah the wizard who holds a new zealand driver's license bearing the name the wizard moved to the country in the 70s and has been a fixture in christ church ever since he's even earned himself a trip advisor rating four out of five stars he told cnn that he views himself less as gandalf and more as a goofball or showman who brings joy to the city. Every day the world gets more serious, so fun is the most powerful thing in the world right now, he said. The wizard also emphasized who stuffed that pink slip from the city won't stop him from being himself across Christchurch. It makes no difference, he said.

I'll keep going. They will have to kill me to stop my god i don't think that's what they want yeah i don't think so so uh that's the local wizard well that i mean i'm glad i have a visual of him now because he looks exactly like I would expect. The wizard. He looks like a wizard. That's for sure. I'm not going to hedge my bets. So I'm going to say, hey, keep doing what you're doing, wizard. I think you're great. Because if he is a real wizard,

I don't want him casting a spell on me. You know what I mean? I don't want to get turned into a duck. Yeah, I agree. No ducks here. I don't want to be a frog. They'll put me on frog suck and they'll be ahead of me. That's that. All right, well, let's wrap this sucker up

by letting everyone know what we're doing this week. Crendor, hit them with the socials. We've got socials. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. See all the podcasts around these parts. Also, check out the other places we're on. We got Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud. Just search it.

You'll find us. Also, we got the animations. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. Also, we got our main stuff. YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Crandor. By the way, I upload my YouTube shorts. I saw.

They're killing it. They're my favorite thing I've seen ever. Yep, the Pokemon packs up. The leaves are up. It's great over there. Also, Twitter.com, Jessica Cox. Twitter.com, Krendor. Facebook, Jessica Cox.

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Okay, that's it for us. Thanks so much. We'll see y'all next time and as always, to be continued.