Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 317 - Bring us some figgy pudding!

Episode Date: November 29, 2021

The boys are back and this week Jesse's parents regale him with their own Grandpa Simpson story! Also Crendor gets hung up on Christmas song lyrics and a man is buried in a can. All this and way more nonsense on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://hellofresh.com/cox14 and use code cox14 for up to 14 free meals AND 3 free gifts! Go to http://hawthorne.co and use promo code cox to get 10% off your first purchase!

Do you love live shows? I'm sure you did at one point in time. Well, guess what? They're coming back. And we would love to have you at our first one this December 12th in Chicago. Go to CoxAndCrendor.com for more information. We'll see you there. Today's episode is brought to you by HelloFresh.

HelloFresh is going to get you eating so good. Also, today we're brought to you by Hawthorne. Hawthorne's going to get you smelling so good. This is a weird bit. Let's jump into the podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In of Cox and Credo in the morning. Hello everybody, welcome to the exciting episode of Cox and Credo in the morning. credo in the morning hello everybody welcome to the side of the moon how are you doing all right yeah i'm doing i'm doing okay yes i'm doing all right uh i don't know i'm doing pretty good just uh you know i mean we're hitting we're hitting end of november smith we got prime holiday season. Yeah, people were talking about how we should have done a Black Friday thing, but let me tell you, there wasn't much Black Friday this year.

There was Black Friday in Taiwan for some reason, but I didn't see much Black Friday stuff happening this year. That's what I'm saying. Dude, the last, like, couple of years, we've just been, like been trying to cover Black Friday And nothing's happening Well, you know People aren't going out anymore

No one wants to fight each other for a TV It's just not the same as it used to be You just get it online Like it said on this article I found Black Friday shopping in stores Drops 28% from pre-pandemic levels. No one wants to go back. No one wants to take a punch in the face for a gorilla.

I just said a gorilla. He's like, he's my gorilla. A grill. A grill. No one wants to take a punch in the face for a gorilla anymore. Finally. Come on. Here we go.

The gorilla just starts walking with you. Then he punches you in the face. Then he goes on the loose. Oh, what? That gorilla's my friend. Ow. Now, that would be a Black Friday story. A gorilla punches man.

Steals toaster. He buys the deals. Black Friday draws less in-store traffic as shoppers get strategic. Yeah, I mean, people are just buying online. Well, you can get anything online. Literally anything. Plus, it's become like Black Friday has turned into like just a month of Black Friday. Like, they start Black Friday like a month in advance. Like, folks, it's November sales now.

And it's like, oh, okay sales now and it's like oh okay like it's no longer one day they've realized like oh you just do this the entire month and it's much more profitable yeah it sucks that's not good and I think most people caught on to the fact that all they would do is like this TV is $500 on a Tuesday

this TV is $500 on a Wednesday on Friday this TV is $500 marked down from $700. Wink, wink, wink. Yeah, no, you catch on to their marketing gimmicks. It's just not what it used to be, which is both good and bad. Good for just people, but bad for us trying to cover it. Yeah, it's good for human beings and humanity in general,

but so bad for us trying to watch chaos ensue. Yeah, just not the same. Really just the end of an era. But I did write down two holiday things. Holiday things is a weird phrase. Uh-huh. All right, they're both just christmas music related oh okay so because they've started playing christmas music right so i was like all right

i'll start listening to the christmas music now that it's like officially time right uh so we wish you a Merry Christmas, the song, right? I'm aware of it, yes. So I got questions about it. So first thing, they say, we wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas, right? It's just whatever, like Happy New Year, blah, blah. But then it's bring us figgy pudding. They say it three times.

They really want it. But then they demand you bring it right here and then they say you know good tidings and merry christmas happy new year then they say they're not leaving until they get some like i feel that's the entire song i've realized is just they're wishing you merry christmas and a Happy New Year and they demand figgy pudding. I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong, but the history teacher in me seems to recall this song and many other songs

are kind of like hostage. I don't know the best way to describe this. So what would happen is carolers would come up to your door and sing you a song. And the goof was that once they were there, they would not leave until you gave them something. And this is, like, in the olden times. They would come up to me like, we'll sing you song of Christmas and it's Christmas and it's Christmas.

Right? And then you would give them, I don't know, coffee or cider or a snack or something. In return for their singing. Yeah, it's like a thank you. But it wasn't like you didn't request it. They would just show up and do it. And then it was expectant of you to

give them a thing. So this song to me feels like it's a goof, but it's also exactly what would happen. So they'd be like, we wish you a Merry Christmas. They'd sing to the people. And then the goof is like, no, so bring us some figgy pudding. Right. And they're like, we're going to keep singing until you do. And I think that's the goof of the song.

I see. So it's a bit of a goof song. Which is why people hate carolers, because the connotation of caroling is that they walk up to your door, sing you songs, and then you're supposed to give them something for it, even though you're like, I didn't want this. Yeah, that's kind of fucked up. Yes, it is. Yes.

Because, like, imagine you're just, like, you're having a bad day, and then you're like, God, who's at the door? You're looking, it's just people car a bad day and then you're like god who's at the door you're looking it's just people caroling and then they're demanding something like are they doing it because they want to give you a good christmas feeling or are they doing it because they're demanding something like what if these christmas carolers they don't even want you to have a merry christmas they just want stuff they just want their figgy pudding yeah yeah yeah that's i mean that's that's what it is. We wish you a Merry Christmas. That's the goof, I believe, of that song. It's like, hey, we came to sing to you, and now we are giving you crap, so give us some pudding.

And what if you don't got any figgy pudding? Do you got to make it now? Also, figgy pudding, I can't remember if figgy pudding is the same as, what's that other stuff? Yorkshire pudding? Where it isn't pudding at all, but like bread? Yeah, it definitely is that. It's definitely some bread. That's some British bullshit.

Why is everything, it's bread, not pudding. It's bread. Stop it. Figgy pudding is a vague term used for a class of traditional christmas dishes usually forming sweet and savory cakes containing a sour sweet creamy layer of honey fruits and nuts in later times rum or other distilled alcohol became often add to enrich the fruit this was like fruit cake right kind of yeah i'm i'm trying to see of course i went to npr which you know you're gonna get the most

overly detailed version of this. I also just realized that's such a difference in our culture. British are like, figgy pudding, and we're like, fruitcake. It reminds me of that Simpsons

where he's like, ooh, a garage. Well, ooh-la-dee-da, Mr. French Pad. What do you call it? Car hold? You continue. Another saying here that they were talking about figs being one of those things where plums were used in a pre-Victorian generic way for dried fruit, more specifically raisins.

So figgy certainly seems that figs would have been incorporated into the Christmas recipe. But basically, they're saying the idea of a figgy pudding is just like a generic term. I'm sure at one point it was fig-based, but just like most things. You know if you go to the South and you ask for a Coke, they're like, you want clear Coke? You want fried Coke? You know, Coke is just soda. So it's that kind of thing. I see. Well, I mean, my point still stains. What if they show up and you don't have any? Uh, then, you know, bad on you, I guess is the point. Yeah, but

they're not going to go until they get some. Well, then you could be like, I'm going to get my shotgun. I'm going to get my shotgun. That is a 1930s. You better not be here. They start up the anti-Christmas caroling.

That's got to be a thing. I mean, listen, we're talking like 19... When did they Christmas carol? Was it like the 1930s? Christmas? No, like the 1830s. Oh. I guess, yeah.

Christmas carol... Christmas carols were sung way as early as 129 AD. A song called Angel's Hymn was sung at a Christmas service in Rome. But that's not like Christmas caroling. Yeah, it's not caroling. But they are saying that the songs, I saw three ships come sailing, and that's 1410. Oh.

Interesting. 1640s Puritans with Carol. But I mean, that's like the same thing with Beggar's Night. The idea of Halloween and getting candy was, you know, Please, sir, may I have a morsel? I dressed up like a ghost, okay? Yeah. Sir, I have a more so I dressed up like a ghost Yeah, it's so I Just like to imagine. There's like a standoff. It's like a siege

we're like they've cared they started caroling outside your house for figgy pudding and then you're just like Getting my figgy pudding, and then they're just like sitting out there. And they're just like, what do we do? And they keep singing. We're getting that figgy pudding. And then it was like days go by. And they're just like surrounding your house, just singing. And you're just like, those carolers. Those carolers, they never leave, but they ain't getting my figgy pudding.

And then it's just the standoff to see who can last the longest. I don't, I feel like the police would be called. Probably would. but I mean, we're also talking like, this is like 1855. I mean, well, all right. You can't call the police. You're surrounded by Christmas carols.

Yeah. There'd be Christmas carol fights. The carol groups would fight each other for the prime spot. The territories. I found a thing. Territories. The Jesse Tree. What? From Creation to the Christmas Story. The name comes from Jesse, who was the father of the great Jewish king David. One prophecy in the Bible says,

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse. From his roots, a branch will bear fruit. Damn! I need a Jesse tree. You do need a Jesse tree. A branch is the sign of a new life, a new beginning. So basically, it's a tree where at the bottom is Jesse. And then at the very, very top of the tree on some branch is the sign of a new life, a new beginning. So basically it's a tree where at the bottom is Jesse, and then at the very, very top of the tree on some branch is Jesus,

is what it's saying. It's like a family tree. It's like include all these little things on your tree. That's too much work. That is a lot of work, yeah. But the crazy thing is the tree itself is just like a crappy leafless tree, which, if anything, that is a Jesse tree. That is true. Like a poorly taken care of kind of like whatever tree that's dolled up real nice um oh that's pretty cool you got a

jesse tree the jesse tree yeah shout out to jesse's out there i also want to bring up Elvis Christmas songs. Oh, blue. The best one's the Porky Pig version, by the way. By the way. I'll have a Christmas without you. It's such a definitive

style for Elvis, where he's just like. And it's, oh, there's something about it where I'm like. It is a style. I mean, like, yeah, you're right. I don't know. There's like nothing else like it. And then there's those. Are you trying to tell me that you're an Elvis fan right now?

Is that what's happening? I be an elvis christmas fan but i'm not like an other song elvis fan yeah i you know i'm like a mariah carey christmas fan i'm not gonna listen to mariah carey year round but like at christmas yeah all i want for christmas is mariah carey mariah carey is like probably in like the s tier of like Christmas song artists. Oh yeah. Oh for sure. Like I'd put like Mariah Carey S tier. Elvis is probably like borderline. He might be A tier.

I don't know. Elvis very good. I think the S tier stuff you gotta go with people like Bing Crosby. Like the classics. That's true. You know? The guys who are like way too dead to be relevant but it doesn't classics. That's true. You know, the guys who are like way too dead to be relevant, but it doesn't matter. It's like in sports where they're like,

and this is when Jim Brown scored 40 touchdowns in a game. You're like, wow, that's pretty neat. Or like Wilt Chamberlain scored 172 points in that basketball game, and you're like, wow, that's great. Yeah, wow, that's great. Yeah, wow. It's just so old that they had no competition whatsoever. It's like LeBron James taking on a group of truck drivers. Like, yeah, I guess we'll play basketball today.

I want to see that game. LeBron James versus 18 truck drivers. That's what it was like. Back then in the 1920s they probably just all drank and then like, let's play the football. And then, you know, there's always like one or two dudes that were just like above and beyond better than everybody.

They were built like, you know, the athletes of today. Also, alright, this just... Okay, so I went to Mariah carey's twitter okay this is important yes she has like 21 million followers which i don't know why i didn't expect it but now i'm like yeah it makes sense uh so she has a retweet from the ut Mariah Carey Museum. And it's, they got three bottles. The Utah Mariah Carey Utah? Yes.

And they have three bottles of black Irish cream. So it's like an alcohol, it's like Bailey's or something. And they said, I love black Irish. The Utah Mariah Carey Museum just picked up a few more bottles last weekend. It's so delicious.

And then all I could think of was, like, there's a Mariah Carey Museum in Utah? That's like everything you said to me. None of that matters because I'm still obsessed with the fact there's like a Mariah Carey Utah place. Okay. Yeah, here's the thing of the museum, a picture, if you will. Yeah, right? Get the shit out of shit. What the hell?

This is just someone's house. It's got to be someone's house. There's no way. It's like here's Mariah Carey's heels from when she danced in the New York Ball in 2001. I see that. All Mariah Carey's heels from when she danced in the New York ball in 2001. I see that. All Mariah Carey's makeup. This is like, if I was Mariah Carey, I'd be a little worried. Yeah.

This is a little crazy. I mean, is it like their own personal museum, or are they like actually like, come on, come on. That's what I'm saying. There's something a little like crazy about it. I appreciate it. It definitely has the vibe of a super fan, but also it looks like someone's closet. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it's got to be someone's closet. They have all her like perfume.

They have like cassette tapes. What the? I need to come have a splash at the Mariah Carey Utah Museum, friend. Probably the only thing that'll get me to Utah. And there's a photo of like, I don't know how to describe this. Imagine a table filled with alcohol. And then behind it, two long tables, each with what appear to be 10 or 11 or 12 chairs at each. And then a room that is, I don't even know how to describe this room.

It definitely has cult feel to it. The room itself, if you look beyond the alcohol and beyond the table setup, it looks like a place where cult activity happens. I feel like nobody should be this attached to anything. It's just blowing my mind. I can't figure it out. I get being a fan of things. I hope somewhere someone has a room that is filled with stuff of me.

I'd be flattered. With that said, however, completely blown away by the fact that this is too much. I guess people do sports. They'll have sports-themed rooms. They're like, oh, here's my Packers room. And they got a Packer bar. But there's a difference between, oh, this is my room, and I am hoarding everything I can. Yeah, that's true, too. I mean, there's probably some of those.

If you show me a sports room that had a neon light and a jersey on a wall, I'd be like, yeah, all right. I mean, that's an obsessive fan. But if you show me a room that was like, I love the 1994 Chicago Bulls so much that my entire closet is filled with everything Jordan has ever made, that would be too much. Yeah, but there's definitely some people that do that. I'm aware. I think that's a little much. I think that's a little much. I think that's a little much is all I'm saying.

That is true. I would not want someone to have that much stuff of me. I would be like, this is crazy. They would have to have a thing of me saying this is crazy in that museum. I'm trying to think of how the best way to phrase this.

I don't know that if someone had a crazy museum dedicated to you, that we would recognize it as being crazy. Hell no. Like, if I saw someone's museum dedicated to you, I might be like, yeah, that seems accurate. Even if it was like this level of crazy, where they had everything you had ever done in a closet i'd be like you know that seems like a like a passionate krendor fan yeah but here's

that doesn't seem weird to me here's the thing is like just from my personality alone there's nothing that i'm like overly like passionate about to the point where i have to make a room for it and like collect a bunch of stuff i'm like I like things so in that just from that aspect alone that wouldn't be very Crandor like well exactly I mean I'm trying to think of what would even go into a room dedicated to you and I'll be honest I don't know probably like one pair of sloth sweatpants. Yeah, a zombie dragon plush. Yeah, a dragon. All my merch, really. Just merch. The undead dragon.

And then... Like a photo of Cat, and that's pretty much it, really. Yeah. So really, the Crendor Museum would be very interesting. Yeah, it's actually, no one would notice. No one would be like, this is the Crendor Museum? Like be very interesting, but it would also line up pretty well. No one would be like, this is the Krendor Museum? Like, yeah.

Oh, wow. I had no clue. Just how I'd want it. Yeah. Just how I'd want it. How's your Thanksgiving, by the way? Oh, my God. Well, so we went out to Eat because we no longer Cook and

Funnily enough at the restaurant It looked like Exact replicas of my family It was two parents and one child Everywhere It was very funny I was like yeah single child thanksgivings And while we were there uh you know it was it was very nice

and and we had a great conversation but at one point my parents literally told a old grandpa simpson story because my dad was talking about well my mom started talking about her relatives and how her grandfather helped build Pittsburgh and he built this building and, and, you know, that, that kind of stuff. And my dad transitioned that story into, well, your uncle or someone, I don't know who the one, who it was. Let me tell you, I still don't know what the hell the story was about. Someone was on top of a church playing the fiddle and fell off.

And that story immediately transitioned to my mom being like, no, no, no. Well, you see what ended up happening was across the street was this house, but the house also had a pizza parlor down below. So the people who lived in the house also in the pizza parlor, but the pizza, I was like, okay, I'm trying to follow along. What's going on? The story moved

from talking about a pizza parlor to talking about like set dressing to talking about baby dolls. It was a genuine Grandpa Simpson story that never got back around to why a man fell off a roof playing a fiddle.

I have no idea. I was laughing so hard. And I tried to tell my parents about Grandpa Simpson. I don't think they remembered that bit. So I sent them a video link to it. And I was like, this is what you did to me. Rather than tell me why a dude fell off a roof, you were like, so i tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time i was like you guys straight up just like well see the pizza parlor was in the bottom of the house which was the style at the time

it was like the pizzas they made it was like why are we talking about pizza i thought we're talking about a man who fell off a church roof and now we're talking about a pizza parlor under our house. It was that kind of conversation. So it was very funny. And then at the end, my dad started to talk about how millennials have it too easy. So we went full Thanksgiving. He was like, I was drafted into a war. Have you ever been in a draft?

And I was like, you know, I mean, we've had perpetual 20 years of war, and we've had two total, complete economic collapses. And I started listing off problems, and he's like, yeah, well, I got shot at. And I was like,

cool, dude. I guess that negates all of our problems remember there's a grandpa simpson quote where uh i've been watching a lot of old simpsons because like seasons four through nine that's like are the best sweet spot yeah yeah they're so good yeah so i've just been watching all those again there's like one where he's like i need to remember what my dad told me as a kid. And he's like, Homer, you're dumb as a mule and

twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it. That's kind of what it was like. There's the other where he's like, hey, listen, my story begins in 19 Dickity 2. We had to say Dickity because they stole our word 20.

I chased the rascal to get it back, but he gave up after Dickity 6 miles. That was a prime your parents story there. It was indefinite. It was just like that. It was that kind of vibe where the entire time i was like okay yeah it was lovely it was a lovely it was a lovely time uh i also discovered this past week that i cannot do nashville hot chicken Oh Like I love spicy food But Nashville hot

It's too oily I don't know what it is But when I eat it I'm like sick for two days Every time without fail And I just for some reason decided To test it again this week And was like oh why Why'd I eat that Yeah I don't know

It's just like too greasy for me. I guess I have a grease threshold. I'm telling you, now you're hitting the Crandor digestive error. But it's always been that way. It's nothing new. It's specifically that and, oh, what is it? You know when you get like pasta and they do a, oh, what is that stuff called? A, it's green green help me out here my brain is dead it's green like a green sauce oh uh oh yeah you're talking about

uh it's like uh it's uh why can't i think of it starts It starts with a P. Pesto. Yes, anytime. Boy, somewhere there's an Italian losing his shit. I didn't know about the pesto. Listen, I knew. It just took me a while. That's what I'm saying. I forgot the name, too. Yeah, every time I eat pesto on anything,

because not the pesto itself, but because they always put it with oil. So whatever they're dressing with stuff, it's like pesto plus oil. And all that oil always messes me up. And it's always been that way, which is why I don't even try to get pesto things. Because I'm afraid they're just going to put too much oil in it. Same with Nashville hot chicken. I was like, man, that does look good. All right. I'll get two strips of chicken. Two. Just two strips hot chicken. I was like, man, that does look good. All right.

I'll get two strips of chicken. Two. Just two strips of chicken. Messed me up. Took me out. I was like, oh. I feel that. I can't do it.

Yeah, I don't know. Oil. I can't do it. Yet, if I went to like somewhere where they had bread and they had like a little thing of oil and they put like salt. I could do that. I could like dip it, but I guess because I'm not like soaking it in oil. Yeah, like I could have a little bit of olive oil, you know. I could have like some olive.

I could have like olives, you know. I could have little bits, but like if you're taking like a greasy ass pizza or something and just eating it, it's over. Yeah, it's too much. I don't know why. I don't know why. It's always been that way with me's too much. I don't know why. I don't know why. It's always been that way with me. Oil, I just don't. Oil and Jesse don't mix.

It's a fact. It's like oil and water. You just get separated. Yeah. Oh, my God. I forgot to mention. I had this. We were talking about this on stream.

Well, one of these were like we were all playing stuff, and nobody knew what I was talking about so you know about baked zd i mean i'm aware of baked zd yes so what i didn't realize is that because we don't call it that in chicago we call it master choli oh i like that that sounds way better than baked zd yeah so like master choli so like we were talking, it was like Sam and whoever. And I was like, yeah, I was eating Mastro Trolli. And they're like, what the hell, Mastro Trolli? And I'm like, what?

Like they didn't know. And then even the Americans didn't know. And I'm like, am I crazy? But then people in chat were like, oh, it's a Chicago thing. So apparently, I don't know why they call it the Mastro Trolli and then everywhere else it's ziti. But I don't know why they call it the Mastacholi and then everywhere else it's Ziti. But I don't know. Oven-baked Mastacholi. That's a great...

Why is it called that? Do we have... Is there a... Mastacholi versus Ziti. Oh, this is the definition. Here we go. All right. What?

Mastacholi is a type of penne pasta which resembles ziti. While ziti is a type of penne pasta which resembles Mastacholi. That doesn't help anything! It's literally the same thing. What you just said is the same! What? There's gotta be...

I can't. This is everywhere. I feel like we're being punked right now. I just went to a different website, and it said the definition is Mazzacholi is a type of penne pasta which resembles ziti, while ziti is a type of penne pasta which resembles Mazzacholi. What the hell? This can't be.

What? Here is. Okay. Here we go. Oh. Okay. I think I figured it out all right uh it's the cut on the pasta oh okay so masticioli is diagonally cut while ziti is blunt straight down cut ah interesting imagine if they're christmas carolers and they wouldn't leave until you gave them Mastacholi. Bring it right now.

I don't know what you mean. I don't. What do you mean? What's Mastacholi? We won't leave until we get some. Where do I get Mastacholi? We won't leave until we get some. No, I don't have any.

Yeah, I can see it. Pat mine down. Too much grease. have any. Yeah, I can see it. Pat mine down. Too much grease. Well, speaking of too much grease, that doesn't make any sense.

Speaking of too much grease, you know what? I'm going to make this work. You're having too much grease in your life. That's right. You ingest far too much. But you know, the best way to prevent excess grease... Boy, this is a stretch. Eating and cooking But you know the best way to prevent excess grease? Boy, this is a stretch.

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Quindle, let's jump to Cops. Whoa! Hey-ho! Seven in the sky. Don't give me shit. Don't give me shit for that. You know I'm right. Don't give me shit. Don't give me shit for that. You know I'm right. Don't you do that. Yep, there's traffic here.

Man, there's got to be like a top five worst ever traffic intros ever. You know what? Don't. No. Just keep going. It's too late. It's already happened. We're moving on. We're moving on. Looks good. Traffic. People going home from Thanksgiving. People

buying the Christmas presents. People. People, man. People. Back to you. Thanks, Grendor. Now let's go over to the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather you. Thanks, Grendor. Now let's go over to the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather time.

So we got a weather request. I don't know if we've ever been here before, but if not, even if we have, I feel like we've forgotten, so it doesn't matter. Cox's Creek, Kentucky. Nice. Of course it's Kentucky. of course it's kentucky of course it's kentucky cox's creek kentucky 50 degrees and sunny it said watch beware the arctic express i don't know if that's like correlated to arctic express sounds like uh like a wind thing or something. I think that's just happening to the country or something.

I don't know. So weather, 51 high, 22 low. Humidity, 43%. Pressure, 30.04 inches. 10-mile visibility, 13-mile-an-hour winds to the east. Dewpoint, 28. UV index, 1 of 10 with a waning crescent moon. That sun is rising at 7.36 a.m. and setting at 5.23 p.m.

Hourly, you got 50, 49, 45, 41. And on the daily, you've got 51 today, 45 tomorrow, 55 on Tuesday, 56 Wednesday, and 63 on Thursday. It's not too bad. Saturday, you got 50. Sunday, 52 with PM showers. But then Monday, 44 with some showers. And Tuesday, 47. So it's going to get colder going into December.

And that's the old Cox's Creek. Seems like Cox's Creek is as boring as I imagined it would be. Yeah, it's probably pretty boring. Nothing ever happens in Cox's Creek. That's the weather. Okay. Let's go to sports. Sports.

I don't like that. Sports. Sports. I don't like that. Over in sports, we've got NFL football going on right now. Currently in the NFL games, Thanksgiving, Bears barely beat the Lions. Raiders barely beat the Cowboys. Bills beat the Lions. Raiders barely beat the Cowboys. Bills destroyed the Saints. Bengals crushed the Steelers today. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. Dolphins beat the Panthers. Giants beat the Eagles because the Eagles didn't know how to catch the football at the end of the game. Patriots crushed the Titans as the Patriots are once again relevant that's fun they're now eight and four i believe uh only took them a year uh falcons beat the jaguars uh buccaneers currently beating the colts 38 31 with five seconds to go so bar in a miracle

they're gonna win that jets beat the texans and the other game is about to start. Now, over in basketball, we take a look at some of these standings. The Nets in first in the East with the Heat, the Wizards right behind them, then the Bulls, the Bucks, then the Hornets. Over in the West, you've got yourselves the Warriors at the top, 17-2, with the Suns at 17-3 right behind them. Then you've got the Jazz, the Clippers, the Mavericks, the Trailblazers, the Wolves, and the Lakers.

And then the Grizzlies Nuggets down there. Pretty close in the West outside of the top three teams. And then the rest of those teams. And then the rest. And then over in hockey, you got everything going on right now. You got Washington and Carolina battling it out up top. You got Florida and Carolina battling it out up top. You got Florida and Toronto

tied up at the top. You got Minnesota up the top with the Blues right behind them. And then you got the Oilers with the Calgary Flames right behind them. And that is pretty much sports. Okay, what's our weird factoid of the day? Is pretty much sports. Okay. What's our weird factoid of the day? What the? The inventor of the Pringles can is now buried in one. That is both incredible and very sad.

In 1966, Frederick Bauer developed the ingenious idea for Procter & Gamble to uniformly stack chips inside a can instead of tossing them in a bag. He was so proud of his invention, he wanted to take it to the grave, literally. So he crammed his ass in a can? I guess so. Do you think he's preserved well? Oh, without a doubt. There's so much sodium in that can.

He communicated his burial wishes to his family when he died at 89. His children stopped at Walgreens on the way to the funeral home to buy his burial Pringles can. What? Wait. Wait. Wait. Do they cremate him and then stuff him in a Pringles can?

Is that what happened? Wait, maybe that is what happened. All right, that makes a whole lot more sense because I was concerned that they made a life-size Pringles can for this man. That's what I thought, too. That's a lot. Like a Pringles coffin for this man. That's what I thought too. That's a lot. Like a Pringles coffin or something. Right? I built my Pringles coffin.

It is where I shall lay. My siblings and I briefly debated what flavor to use, Larry said. But I said, look, we need to use the original. So they used the original. Obviously. That's the classic way to, we need to use the original, so they used the original. Well, I mean, yeah, obviously.

That's the classic way to go. You've got to use the original. Yeah. No one else is going to buy it because the original sucks. Yeah, I'm not an original fan. Nah, that's garbage. Either way, that's the fact of the day. Bravo. Very day. Bravo.

Very nice. Yeah. All right. Well, what's our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Well, we got, there's the two things that were sent to us. One was the End Times preacher talking about her crazy story, which isn't really a news story, but it's just a thing. It's just a crazy person

being really crazy. She was just like, I turned in bed to my husband and he was a lizard coming out of his body, but a ghost lizard. And he said, I'm going to have sex with you. And she said, be gone. Yeah, she rebuked the sex lizard in the name of

Jesus. Me, on the other hand, I would not do this. I'd be like, Yeah, she rebuked the sex lizard in the name of Jesus. Yeah. Me, on the other hand, I would not do this. I'd be like, Jesus, take the wheel. I'm about to bang this lizard. But it turned out that the alien lizard turned out to be a reptile with a posse of gargoyles. So you had a gargoyle. Right, right, right.

Well, you know, at that point, I'd just be like, yo, gargoyles, you had a gargoyle right right well you know at that point i'd just be like yo gargoyles you went on you won on this lizard sex fest because it's gonna get real nasty the gargoyles would be like hell yeah mr j and then we'd all bang yeah that's that's how i imagine it going down that's what happened in cox's. It's the only thing that's ever happened there. So we got Florida man flies Learjet with excavator like a toy plane. What? So if you take a look at this one. Is he in?

I see. That's very cool. I imagine that's terribly dangerous. Oh, yeah, without a doubt. Yeah, he's in one of those giant cat excavator, like, digger things, and he's using the claw at the end of the, you know, crane or whatever that is to hold the back of the plane that he's flying it around and spinning it, which is... That's like something you do in a video game, like one of those simulator games.

Yeah, it can't be legal, but also good on him. It looks neat as hell. Yeah. There is a saying that some people never grow up. It's just that their toys get bigger and more expensive. That was definitely the case with this Florida man who used to...

who used his excavator to fly a plane and have a bit of good old fun after he was off to get scrap. Video shot by the user Vice Aviator on Instagram who worked at the aviation industry has been making rounds on the internet while shocking and delighting many people because of its unusual nature. It's shocking and delightful. Shocking and delightful. That's like a very old white lady thing to say. It's not shocking and delightful. That young man

is shocking and delightful. I never know what to expect. Yeah, that's the kind of thing you say to a person when you like it, but you know that it's wrong. I really enjoyed that, but i acknowledge it's wrong shocking and delightful i haven't seen that since the leave it to beaver days he wrote after leaving the airport this morning after my flight training i decided to go and be

an av geek and go look for the 707 that was recently scrapped after no luck i made a u-turn and saw the lear jet was about to meet its fate little did i know it was going for one last flight not the flight i thought he truly was at the right place at the right time to capture a unique moment on video has now been reposted numerous times another user replied saying this could be narrated by david attenborough yes i got some of these articles just turning they like take social media posts as like news thing like what yeah they're not they're not articles anymore yes yeah they're just like here's my hot take like just report the news i don't care uh. Like Jiminy Johnson said, wow, this sure is crazy.

While Becky 454 said, wow, that might be dangerous. Cool. That's awesome. Okay, cool. Also, the story happened like a year ago, but I don't care. Well, that's it for us today thank you so much for tuning in to whatever the hell we got going on every week you're amazing uh we'll see y'all next time but first crendor hit them with the socials we've got socials there is youtube.com

slash cox and crendor podcast that's where all these podcasts are, but on YouTube. We are also on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud. Just search Cox and Crandor. You'll find it. Also, if you go to youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor without the podcast part in the end, you'll find all the animations. Very good. Very fun. Very good. Very fun.

You can find us on all our stuff. Twitch TV, Jesse Cox, Twitch TV, Crandor, YouTube, Jesse Cox, YouTube, Crandor, Twitter, Twitter, Cox. Twitch TV, Crendor. YouTube, Jesse Cox. YouTube, Crendor. Twitter, Jesse Cox. Twitter, Crendor. Facebook, Jesse Cox. Facebook, Crendor.

Instagram, Crendor is taken. Instagram, Notorious Cox. Patreon, Jesse Cox. Patreon, Crendor. That's it. All right. See you all next time. And as always, it's Shaken Rhino.

To be continued. Alright. Oh, see y'all next time. And as always, it's Shakin' Rhino. To be continued.