Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 350 - Penguin Lord

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

The boys are back and somehow Crendor bringing up David Lynch leads to Jesse discover his numerology and a dangerously accurate description. Meanwhile Crendor continues to cling to life just long enough to see the new Total War Map, while Jesse discovers Roblox is way too cool for him. And to round things off, just a little deep dive in to the lore of Cap'n Crunch! All this and so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Come see us live in Chicago in August! Learn more at coxandcrendor.com Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 20% off your first order. Go to http://hellofresh.com/cox16 and use code cox16 for 16 free meals across 7 boxes AND 3 free gifts.

Today's episode is brought to you by me undies, me undies are the undies that I have on me. Also today, we're brought to you by HelloFresh. Hey, HelloFresh is out there trying to get you to eat good. You should do it, I'm sorry, eat well. But you should do that, you should eat good. Anyway, that's it. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trendom. This is Trendom in the morning.

In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendor in the morning! Cox and Crendor in the morning! Hello everybody! Welcome to the episode of Cox and Crandall in the morning.

It is exciting. Very, very exciting. Very exciting. It's so exciting that I'm just too excited. I hear that. I hear that in your voice. I can tell. Yeah, yeah. You sounded so excited. Oh, yeah. Hey. Hi.

I just ate a sour candy like two seconds before we started recording. My mouth is so liquidy. Is that a word? My mouth is moist. I got a moist mouth. I don't like that. I don't like it either. I got to talk.

I'm all like, I got that sour mouth. What is it? It was just like some weird-ass candy that was sitting on my desk that has been sitting here for three days. And I was like, I'm going to eat that candy. I haven't had lunch or dinner today. So that was my food before we recorded. And I'm very hungry. You haven't had any food?

No, I woke up. I had coffee. And then i went and got the crap beat out of me at the gym and then um i ate breakfast and that was 10 a.m ish and now it's almost eight and i have not had anything since and i'm very hungry that That's not good. You need some protein or something. Well, I'm aware I was working. I was doing stuff and I didn't have time to so I had this piece of candy sitting at my desk. It was like, oh, I need that sweet, sweet sugar energy

and um, yeah it was sour. It wasn't what I thought it was going to be just like a candy apple thing, but it was sour candy apple and it got me. It was delicious. I love sour candy. It is, in fact, my favorite of the candies. But, yeah,

not great right before you talk. No, definitely not. Thankfully, I have water, and so I'm good. Things feel alright. Podcasting, baby. That's what it's about. That's what it's all about. It's all about suffering through the sour. Suffering through the sour. That's life, man. all about suffering through the sour take a suffer through

the sour that's life man you gotta suffer through the sour suffer through the sour that's sweet and you see i retweeted this but david lynch has started like earthquaking his camera why what for what purpose every time it's fr, he's always like, it's Friday once again. Yeah, I know that. And now he started, like, shaking the camera when he's doing it. For what purpose? David, why? I don't know, but here, this is a Twitter called DL Every Friday, and it tracks David Lynch's Friday weather reports.

And for the last, like, six weather reports, you're going to scroll through and see. He's just shaking in every one of them. I don't understand, but I guess I never understand half of what he's doing. It just seems like he is doing it. He is just shaking. He's just shaking. His camera.

Yeah. What? I can't. Literally, this video has 1.3 million views, and this is all he says. He goes, it's July 22, 2022. And if you can believe it, it's Friday once again. That's it. 1.3 million views.

Him shaking the camera violently while saying that. I am in the wrong business. I should have become a crazy person. It's so much easier. To be fair, on his YouTube channel, he only gets like 7,000 to 8,000 views. So this is all on Twitter. His Twitter presence is fire, Crandor.

Oh yeah, no doubter. And the thing is, he's still doing the number of the day, which is insane. He's been doing that for years. So he has the number of the day, plus he has this other weird thing he does. Yeah. Great. It is something, but I love love it he's still going going strong dude is absolutely out of his mind i love him i hope he uh i hope he creates a

new type because he's got the number of the day in the weather report i feel like he needs something else now he's gotta mix it up i mean what would you what would you want to do i don't know something i want like a third a third video thing even if it's only like a once a week thing like a david lynch craft report where he updates us on like his woodworking or something david lynch craft report now what woodworking does he do uh crazy crazy stuff i remember he was making this weird box. Explain that. What does that mean?

Hold on. I can probably find it on his YouTube channel. But I remember he made some weird, like, wooden box thing. Oh, wait. Here. What is David working on today? I mean, he's not really working on it. He's just...

All right. So... Oh, my God. You sent me not the intro Which I think is a whole thing on itself So the video Grendor sent me Is of it says What is David working on in serial Killer lettering

And in the background it's just Like loud Construction noises And then 10 seconds in So 10 seconds of loud construction noises. And then 10 seconds in. So 10 seconds of loud construction noises. It finally begins. And then it's him just showing what he's working on. Not actually working.

He isn't doing anything in this video. He's like, this is a sink. Here's the spout. And then here's the thing. And over here is a stand. And then he's like that's it okay exactly i want more of these i uh i mean it's all right he needs to bring the series back what else is on david lynch theater just number of the day and that that's it the man

he may not connect well with the kids on YouTube but my god he is consistent. He really is. He is hitting every single. What was the day of my birth? Number of the day on my birthday was

five. Great. Alright well that's all I needed to know. My birthday's number was five. Oh, I got to look that up. Hold on. This could be very important. What a special number.

Boy. Meanings. This has to be a thing. Number symbolism. Yeah. Okay. Number symbolism. Numerology is what it's called. I knew it had Number symbolism. Numerology is what it's called.

I knew it had a name. Numerology 5. The number 5 represents the planet Mercury and is associated with the senses we have. These people are usually very beautiful and have a charismatic aura. They're quite fun-loving, zealous, and cheerful. That is why people love being around a five Yeah dog Hell yeah

A very positive trait Yep yep yep They also like to indulge themselves in solving puzzles And queries which sharpens their minds This is about me, did he know? He knew He had to have known People associate the number five with adapting to changes

But they're a bit temperamental What me? Fuck that guy He knew. He had to have known. People associate the number five with adapting to changes, but they're a bit temperamental. What? Me? Fuck that guy. These traits make them interact with many people in general. Thus, they have good career options in public relations, journalism, advertising, etc. All these include communication, so obviously that is their strong point. What? This guy got me.

I don't know. How do you know that? How do you know that? It's almost like this is so vague it could fit anyone. How do you know that? There's no way. He had to be some sort of mystical fortune teller. Numerology 5 is compatible with numerology 1?

The number is affiliated with ego? Oh, boy. What? No, no. So basically number ones are like full of themselves and kind of assholes? Is that what I'm? Well, that explains a lot about who I'm attracted to. That explains an awful lot.

Oh, boy. This is, this is. Well. Wow. wow okay good to know thanks thanks Dave luckily none of it's real so what yeah I don't know this is crazy talk oh what's going on with you besides all this? Let's see. I was just working on videos, streaming. I finished my Pointless Top 10 this week. I want to point out that I went to your Pointless Top 10 and I made the specific quote of, this is the only real content from this expansion worth looking at.

Oh, yeah. 100%. I watched you. Just people who are like, I've never seen Crandor's content. What is his content really like? I stayed up till like 2 a.m. last night just watching people.

Here's how it started. Octo did a stream, and on Octo's stream, he was playing some dope music. I don't know what this shit was He sent a link to me on his stream But I lost it because I was on my phone at the time While I was watching him on TV

He's doing that Pokemon thing you guys were doing And so I was watching him But the music in the background was Awesome, in fact one of my favorite Japanese 80's punk Style bands was being sampled in one of the songs he was playing. I was like, ooh, this is

my jam! So I was having a whole moment. I was barely paying attention to Octo. I was just vibing to the music. So I ended up going to the internet to try and find this thing and I forgot that he sent it to me on my phone and when I closed my phone, the message just vanished.

So I tried to type in what I remembered it and I forgot that he sent it to me on my phone and when I closed my phone the message just vanished. So I like tried to type in what I remembered it and I don't know how I got there but I ended up watching people react to the song Mr. Roboto. I assume because I typed in Japanese something. So I ended up Mr.

Roboto and I watched I'm going to say 30 videos of young I'm going gonna say 18 to 24 year olds just being like what is this song and I'm like don't know how do you got a moment it was great yeah it's in a weird place is fun huh I don't know how we got there I don't know what took me this conversation I don't remember how we got there. I don't remember what took me this conversation. I don't remember how we got here either. Oh, you're just talking about my content. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay, yes. So, oh, boy. Don't do drugs, kids. So, I was looking at the Mr. Roboto videos and then When I went back to the main front page I saw a video by you and I was like oh my god And it was

You in a dragon flight Area for the new Warcraft expansion Looking at Yes I assume that's what that is And right out the gate You're like look at this Look at this kid this otter Keeps cannonballing oh that's what that is. And right out the gate, you're like, look at this kid. This otter keeps cannonballing. Oh, that's not an otter.

That's a tuskar, right? That's pretty much what Crandor was doing. But at several points, just to give you an example of what Crandor's videos are, at several points, while describing a thing you were looking at, you would say something and be like, that's not what that is. Hold on. And then you'd go look it up in the video, and the video isn't like a Crendor just sits there and chats.

The video is you being like, here's 10 quick things, and you stop the video, went to go look it up, while it just is showing the same scene over and over again, and you're like, I don't know what I'm looking for, and then you proceed to continue. Thank you. I got a comment of somebody're like, I don't know what I'm looking for. And then you proceed to continue. Thank you. I got a comment of somebody being like, this is just a positive criticism.

I don't know if you should be looking up things during the video. You should probably script that in. And I was like, this guy, it must be his first time here. It must be his first time. Bless his sweet soul. He tried so hard. Yeah, I don't know if he'll be back, but probably not, but that's fine.

It's just, it's probably not for him. I, I love, I love that video, it's so fucking funny. Yeah, no, we've been pumping out pointless top 10. You literally spend a ton of time watching A dude do a cannonball And then later in the video find another guy doing the exact same thing And you're like oh that's pretty cool And it's like wait a minute You just said how unique the other guy was

And then you found another one It's very funny to me The whole thing is just a trick Although the point is that it's a pointless top 10 I mean it is It is pointless The one that I think the best part If anyone had to watch any That it's a pointless top 10. I mean it is. It is pointless. Yeah. The one that I think the best part.

If anyone had to watch any. I can't believe I'm just reviewing here. There's a moment at like 6 minutes 30 seconds. It's like halfway through the video. Right. Where you go on a rant about this inflatable horse. Oh yeah. That is in the Tuscar village.

And you're like how would they know what a horse looks like? Who brought this? Why would they bring this it's incredibly funny and i just want to put that out there she cracked me up oh and it's just a several static shots of this horse it's like this is it or the banana monkey i think that's very funny oh yeah monkey classic classic video loaded with quality top quality quality so that was one thing i did um you know did some more streaming uh i got my root canal clean the other day that was fun um because i finished antibiotics, and then they went in there, and they already had a root canal, and they cleaned it out because it had the tooth infections.

They were like, oh, we've got to clean it out again. So they cleaned it out, and I was like, all right. And then they put some medicine in there. So that was fun. You know. And then I got an ingrown beard hair. It's really annoying. What is happening to you?

You can't. Every week it's like, so, yeah, I had to go do this thing. Also, my kidneys are failing. What the hell? Nah, my kidneys are good. Oh, well, that's good. I don't know. This has been happening for years.

This is like something new. I don't know. I hate, like, I've had this ingrown beard hair for a while. I'm like, dude, this is annoying. So if you have any ingrown hair remedies, everybody. Although I think they said the best thing is you just, like, drain it or something. But, like, I don't want to do that. Like the pimple popper people.

I'd rather have a doctor or someone do it that knows what they're doing. Because then it like spreads that. You get like more pimples and ingrown hairs and everything. Right? Unless you clean it properly. I don't. I do not know. I don't know what to tell you.

That's been fun. Doesn't sound. None of what you said sounds fun. Sounds like a giant what to tell you. That's been fun. It doesn't sound. None of what you said sounds fun. Sounds like a giant pain in the ass. Oh, it is. It's not fun at all. Why would you just lie to everybody? I said it in like a sarcastic kind of.

Right, right, right. Oh, yeah. It's so fun, man. I love getting root canal cleanings, which, by the way, everyone always complains like, oh, root canal, it's like the most painful. Like, root canals are actually like nothing, to be honest. It's like getting a cavity. Yeah, I think

I've mentioned before, I've had multiple oral surgeries, so I don't... Mouth surgery doesn't really affect me, I think, the same way as everyone else. So when people talk about pain, I'm like so used to it and like busted up. I'm like, no, I'm good. And it and like bust it up i'm like no i'm good and usually they like numb you up anyway like it's not like they always they're just like up here you go and then your

whole face is like blah and then they you know do their thing what else happened uh i'm excited for the new uh total war coming out soon what do you i mean mean, the Mortal Empires? Yeah, Mortal Empires. Pumped for that. That's going to be fun. Yeah. I want to play Rats again. But I want to play it in Total War number three, you know? I do know.

I am the exact same way. I'm like, oh, I want to do all these things that I did before, but in this new version. Which, here's the thing. I'm used to it. That's all Dynasty Warriors is. The exact same things I've done before. Just newer. Yeah. Plus, I've been playing a bunch of Skaven.

I've been playing a bunch of Skaven, paint and Skaven in the tabletop version. So I just, I'm ready to go into the video game and just be like, yes, yes. And just blow stuff up. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. Yes, Warpstone.

I don't know. I don't know what I want to play. There's so many new things. I do know that I've seen the map, and there's one faction that's like way in the south, and I think they might be, I don't know what they are. It doesn't matter. But they're like way far.

They're like in the south pole, and they're by themselves at the moment. And if I could just play those guys and take over the South Pole, I'd be the Penguin Lord. And all will bow before me and my armies of waddling minions. The Penguin Lord. The Penguin Lord. Is that a thing that exists?

I don't think so. The Penguin Lord is, oh, there is Lord Taylor? Robin Lord Taylor was an actor who played the Penguin. I mean, all right, that checks out. But who's the Lord Penguin on YouTube as a person? That's not me. Again, a lot of stuff about the guy who played the penguin on TV, but that's not, wow, that's all there is.

I'm six, seven rows in, seven pages in, and it's all this dude. There is no Lord, the Lord Penguin. Not Batman. No. not batman no as a skateboarder lord penguin yeah no i just see a skateboarder a youtube channel you mentioned which apparently is just roblox i don't even know what to think of roblox i don't even like no i learned that roblox has had multiple Concerts in it What? Yes you know how Fortnite

And you figure Fortnite is the more adult version of Roblox No Roblox has had real concerts Lil Nas did a Roblox concert 21 Pilots did a Roblox Concert What the shit Charlie

CharlieXCX I don't know who that is Did a concert on the Roblox concert what the shit charlie charlie x cx i don't know who that is did a concert on the roblox platform oh okay roblox man roblox i feel like i just don't know what Roblox is. Like, I thought it was just like a Minecraft type thing. But, is it? I mean, that's what I had originally thought. Clearly, I am very wrong. And I know like a bunch of kids play it, don't they? That's what I'm saying. Yes. Like, what the?

Okay, I just clicked on another YouTube video. And they're just like, what up, everybody? We're the Roblox crew. They have like 10 million subscribers. And they're just like, hey, we need to get milk. Hey, it's just like these Minecraft Lego-ass looking things. Walking around, they're just like, hey, what are you doing? Oh, what am I doing? It's an alien.

It's like, oh, where we are. I don't get it. I really don't get it. Let me be very clear. We might be too old. I think we're hitting that point. I think we've hit that point where like...

I think so too. I just don't understand this like normally i can at least be like oh i see why people would like this or i see why kids would like this or whatever like i don't get it i don't get this i don't think we need to get it yeah no i don't I don't think we do it just like even it just feels weird even watching this stuff it's like I'm watching this morphed kid show reality like even just skimming through there's like a demon showed up in their

concert and they're on the beach now they're beating up someone with a baseball bat like what the shit is this? Whatever. This is going to be in my... Again, it's not made for you.

You're trying to figure out something that is made for a generation that is younger than we will ever... We'll never be there. We'll never understand that. That's true. My YouTube career is longer than the age of the platform. Some of them have been alive. Yeah. It's, uh,

man. I've heard, like, there's people, I've heard our fans talking about how their kids, their nephews and nieces and everything are playing Roblox. Everyone's, I literally have employees who are like, Jesse, you should do a Roblox video. I'm like, what do you mean? They're like, it's hip to the kids.

They love it. Like, what the hell are you talking about? Maybe we need to play Roblox once just to see. Maybe we should go really hard on Roblox. Maybe we should make a whole new channel of just us going super hard on Roblox. Maybe. Roblox Ricky gets a... I'm just putting it out there.

Roblox Ricky gets a root canal. Uh-oh. Roblox Ricky? I don't know that I like Roblox Ricky. Roblox Ricky, that's like... Most of the time I'm here for alliteration, but that seems a little... I don't know, like a killer.

Roblox Ricky. Roblox Ricky is probably actually a person does seem like a little tiny bit of a killer like some sort of killer person i typed in roblox ricky and there's roblox ricky rat and it does look like a killer person it's just oh my god yeah there's a bunch of roblox ricky rats and they're all like a creepy looking mickey mouse nope no thank you there's probably kids watching this i don't want to i wouldn't want to be a kid watching this yeah no this is bad news this is yeah i don't like this i'm done I'm done looking up Roblox. Man, that is a real treat.

I can't believe that is in my search history now. So that's great. That's fantastic. I'm going to remove these from my history. Fantastic. Lovely. You know what? It should be in your history. That's weird. You know what should be in your history?

What? That's weird. You know what should be there? What? You going to coxandcrendor.com in order to buy tickets to see us this Friday. Whoa. I know. You'd be a fool not to. We'd love to see you there. That's my shameless promotion for that.

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Alright Grendel let's go Let's go It is Trafficky we've got cars All backed up People are still going on vacations. Now they're trying to get back home and then they gotta go back to school and work

and all that stuff. There's a bunch of people. They're trying to get to the live show. They're trying to get to the show. They're trying to get to literally everything. And that's, you know, gas prices, am I right?

Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. You are, you know, gas prices. Am I right? Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. You are. You are. I mean, you're right. Although they are going down. They are going down. That's true.

They're still a little high, but they're going down. Yeah, I'm not sure how I feel about the price of oil dropping dramatically and the price of gas still staying up. Yeah. I'm not sure what I can do about that except complain anyway let's go to the weather um let's see we have a weather request for curitiba brazil It's my hometown and capital city of the state of Parana, which is known on the internet as the Russia of Brazil

because of the many silly and bizarre videos of dash cam footage that happened there. I like that a lot. Today in Curitiba, it's 54 degrees, light rain. Rain likely to continue for the next several hours. 54 degrees is what it feels like. 99% humidity. Where's the 1% to make it 100? You know what?

He's lazy. He's not coming in today. He's like, you know what? It's raining out. I know I'm supposed to be at work but too bad yeah maybe the 99 is like it very very much is going to rain but like if it doesn't we're covering our ass yeah but it's it's raining uh pressure 30.12 inches six mile visibility wind three miles an hour dew point 53 651 a.m sunrise 554 p.m sunset uv index zero with a moon phase waxing gibbous looking at the 10 day

we've got tonight periods of rain low 53 winds 5 10 miles an hour chance of rain 100 near half an inch of rain sunday 65 rain monday scattered thunderstorm 67 tuesday you've got rain 61 degrees wednesday rain 53 degrees thursday partly cloudy with 60 degrees friday 62 partly cloudy saturday 69 partly cloudy sunday 73 partly cloudy monday 79 partly cloudy And Tuesday AM showers 79 As it warms back up I went to go find Um Places to you know hang out In Curitiba

If that's how we say that And I saw a thing that said Airbnbs in Curitiba I was like I gotta see what the airbnbs are like And all it did was take me to the American Airbnb site. And then it's for like Palm Springs, California and Pioneertown, California. That's nowhere near Brazil.

That's not helpful. What? That's stupid. That's stupid. Yeah, let's see. We got a... Let's see. We got Dom Giovanni. What is that?

4.2. It's an Italian restaurant. Dom Giovanni. Dom? Not Don Giovanni, but Dom? Dom Giovanni. Dom Giovanni. It doesn't look that good.

I'm going to send you this. That does not look good. At least in my opinion. I feel like, I don't know. I got to see what this, yeah, never mind. Oh, boy. That is, whoa, whoa. This looks like a, it looks like a place where you get like a pizza buffet.

It is a pizza buffet. It is a pizza buffet. Oh, yeah. All right. Never mind. It is a pizza buffet. Oh, yeah. All right. Never mind. It's not going to be good. Dom Giovanni Buffet Pizzas. I must stress, if you scroll down far enough, there is a plate of pasta that is like...

I've never seen pasta that liquidy looking. It is very liquidy. Oh, that is an unpleasant plate of food yeah no this is uh this is uh nah i'm not gonna be uh eating at dom giovanni's anytime soon oh boy yeah no i'm all right uh let's see what else we got it's be something better. I don't want to shit on Don Giovanni, but damn. Pizzeria Mercado Rebucas. Let's see. You know, it looks almost the same as Tom Giovanni.

Maybe that's just like the way they'd be getting pizza there. I don't know. Maybe it is. Here's the problem. You're looking for shit that doesn't matter. I found a place called Mr. Hoppy. It's a beer and burger place that has an electric chair in it. Yeah, no, this is what I, this is it.

All right, all right. This is the place right here The table, one table is like made up Of an old oven This is definitely the kind of bar That I would go to, holy shit This looks amazing Even the bar food

Looks like jank bar food But like in the best way possible Yeah, it's Shout out to... That's so funny. It looks like one of the... It really is a hole in the wall. One of the places is just straight up

a hole in the wall. That's amazing. I love this. That is pretty cool. Now this I can get... This is just jank enough for me to really truly get behind it. Yeah. No, I like this place. This is good. They got some onion rings here. Looking good. Oh, yeah. They got weird statues of zombie men.

They got a bunch of IPAs. Let me get a good IPA. Yeah, see? You gotta look for the crazy... You gotta find the places that... You were looking for pizza. No, no, no. You gotta find places like Old Car Brew Pub. Oh, I see that. Oh, no. You got to find places like Old Car Brew Pub.

Oh, I see that. All right. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what I dig about this? This is what I just realized. All these places are just outdoors. Like, it's a central hub that is a place where you go inside to get the food, but everything else is outside.

Yeah. I guess if you got the weather for it. Holy crap. Yo, the seats in the Old car brew pub are made out of cars Love this place Oh my god that is cool Old car brew pub Wow I'm totally here for it

And this is all pale ales Oh yeah love it Give me the IPAs What the hell is this Are they just serving a cup of chicharron Get out of town Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I could thrive in Brazil. I think I could do this. I think I could do it. Although Brazil's probably like it's probably the sweatiest place on earth. Oh yeah, probably. I would be like, you're selling me 99% humidity. I'd be like

I'm so sweaty It's raining a lot too I can get beer anywhere Screw it I'm over it That's the weather Alright Let's go to sports

Welcome to the sports desk we had we've we got the sports yeah almost choked we have we got that we have sports we have a we got the sports um nfl pre-season football has officially started wahoooo. I love it. MLB trade deadline was insane. They had Juan Soto and a bunch of others get traded to the Padres. One of the biggest trades of the trade deadline. Bunch of other moves.

So the Padres looking to push and contend with the Dodgers over there. Let's see. Cubs won today. Neat. They're still bad. Then we had NBA still in the offseason. NHL still in the offseason.

And let's take a look at the MLB standings. We got the Yankees in first still. Twins in first. Astros first. Mets in first. Cardinals first with the Brewers a game back. And the Dodins in first, Astros first, Mets in first, Cardinals first, with the Brewers a game back, and the Dodgers in first. And the wild card, you got the Blue Jays, the Mariners, the Rays,

and the Orioles all battling that out. And you got the Braves, Padres, Phillies, and Brewers all battling that out. And that's sports. Okay. What is our fact of the day? Big facts of the day. We got two, both involving Captain Crunch. You said facts.

I thought you went crazy, but it's two. Two facts, both involving Captain Crunch. Well, of course. Well, of course. First up, Captain Crunch's full name is Horatio Magellan Crunch. I absolutely hate that. Horatio Crunch? Hilarious.

Horatio Magellan Crunch? Too much. And someone thought they were very clever, and frankly, I'm not going to stand for it. Well, he was named after the famous explorer Ferdinand Magellan. I mean, yeah. His ship is also called the SS Guppy. How did I already know that? I'm more upset that I already know that.

That is weird. I feel like you should be sailing on the SS Milk or something. I don't know. The SS Milk sucks. The SS Milk. The SS Milk. That sucks.S. Milk. That sucks. The S.S. Milk.

Listen, this is why they don't have any names, though. And then, Cap'n Crunch was once sued for not using real berries. Is that why it's called a Crunchberry? Because it's not a real berry? Yes. An American woman by the name of janine sugawara was shocked to find out the cereal was falsely advertising its contents however the complaint was quickly dismissed when the judge stated that there is no such thing as a crunch berry

i can't even imagine there's no berries in this your honor uh maam, you realize there's no such thing as a crunch berry, right? I just imagine they're like a courtroom. She's got like a folder of documents. Like, I would like to open the case against Captain Crunch and his crunch berries. And then the judge is just like, ma'am, crunch berries, they don't exist. Then she's just like, well, that's all I got. According to Horatio Magellan, they do. He pushes on this box.

It says with crunch berries. Now you're telling me that these are berries, your honor? I brought you a bowl. Here, be careful. It will cut the roof of your mouth. Next, you're going to tell me the SS Guppy isn't real. He's just like, my god, you know what? You've got a case.

I'll allow it. You may sue. I would love to see the defense attorneys like, your honor, it's a cartoon character. Well, then why does he have a rank in the Navy? Who made him a captain? Was he once an ensign crunch? character. Well, then why does he have a rank in the Navy? Who made him a captain? Was he once an ensign crunch?

How did he get that rank? Oh, yeah. I would like discovery on the history of Horatio Magellan crunch. Honestly, I'd watch a documentary on it. What's the lore? Did he discover the berries? Hence Hence they're called crunch berries

Or are they berries that have a crunch And then it just happened to be That like it was A coincidence that the two of them Ended up together I don't know Mainly I have a lot of questions Crandor

Because I've never looked into Captain Crunch lore Who has? Is there a I have a lot of questions, Crandor. Because I've never looked into Captain Crunch lore. Who has? Is there a Captain Crunch lore? Is this a thing that exists? There is some I've found. Well, here's the problem. Captain Crunch lore is mostly about the lore of the cereal.

But is there a, like, the mascot, production history, variations? Whoa. Captain Crunch, yeah, Captain Crunch Crunch Berries Captain Crunch Choco Crunch Boy, Peanut Butter Crunch Was actually, I really liked Peanut Butter Crunch I don't know if they make that anymore Punch Crunch, Vanilla Crunch, and Cinnamon Crunch Sound like

Drunks, you know Christmas Crunch Deep Sea Crunch Oops All Berries, I liked Oops All Berries That was good Drunks, you know. Christmas Crunch. Deep Sea Crunch. Oops, All Berries. I liked Oops, All Berries. That was good. Halloween Crunch.

Never had it. Galactic Crunch. Galactic Crunch sounds like an actual thing scientists say. Well, there's the Galactic Expansion, and then there's the Galactic Crunch. Choco Donuts. Soft Crunch. I don't like that. Soft Crunch. Yeah, I don't like Soft Soft Crunch Home Run Crunch

Mystery Volcano Crunch What the shit This is how you know That in the Late 90s or early 2000s this came out Because this sounds insane Mystery Volcano Crunch Red and yellow fruit flavored berries

With a free packet of lava rocks It was literally pop rocks that popped in your milk. What? That's messed up. That kid got instant diabetes. Oh yeah. Crunch. Oops. All smashed

berries. It's berries that were flattened. What? That's weird. Captain Crunch's Cosmic Crunch, which is different from Galactic Crunch? Okay, sure. Polar Crunch, Cinnamon Roll Crunch, and then Captain Crunch's Crunch Treasures, which is just a thing. However, here's the problem. Uh-oh, product litigation.

That is the Crunch Berries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That happened. Oh, the thing we're just talking about and then there was there was something called captain crunch's crunch line crunch ling and crunchlings captain crunch knows crunchlings captain crunch's crunchling adventure and with it you get 250 hours free of American online. That's incredible. So wait, the Crunchlings are... So are Dingleberries like, you know... Are Crunchberries like Dingleberries? Do they come from the Crunchberries?

I don't know. You've just said Crunch so many times in the last one minute. It has no meaning anymore. You're absolutely right. The idea of a Crunch, it means nothing to me now. Yeah. I did actually see they have Captain Crunch's Ocean Blue Artificially

Maple Flavored Syrup and it's just blue syrup. Yeah! I did see that at the grocery store the other day and was like, only in America would someone be like, I'm putting this on my pancakes. That's. It is unpleasant.

Yes. I don't want that. I don't want that. Who does? No one wants that. There's got to be somebody. I thought they wouldn't sell it. Oh, my God.

Captain Crunch. Look at this image from. I know it's going to be able to see this. I'm going to need to describe it. This is an image from the Captain Crunch video game. All right. All right. No one's going to be able to see this, so I'm going to need you to describe it. This is an image from the Captain Crunch video game. Alright. Alright. Imagine a troll dragon

in a Where's Waldo outfit in a warrior helmet with spikes on it. And he's eaten too much blueberry Cap'n Crunch syrup or whatever the shit is that he's got like

globules popping out of his skin. You know what this guy looks like? Have you ever seen the second Gremlins movie? Yes. With all the Gremlins of different sizes and shapes, it looks like he belongs there. It does. He does look like he'd be in the gremlins movie. He has the gremlin face and everything.

He looks like he is a gremlin. But he's in a Where's Waldo outfit. But he's in a where, and he has a very out of place hat with spikes. Oh, yeah. I feel like a lot of really good design went into this game. They thought about it for a while. Yeah. So, wait, what system is this on?

I think PC. I think it's a PC game. It's one of those like you get the CD. Probably came with the cereal in the box of cereal. Yeah. 1997. Wow. Yeah, that checks out.

Man. Well, that's your fact of the day all right what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day bandit the guard cat hailed as hero after thwarting would-be robbery what wait how what when at least two people tried to break into a tupelo mississippi home last week the cat did everything she could to alert its owner a mississippi man said his pet cat helped prevent a robbery at his home and he credits the calico with possibly saving his life bandit a 20 pound cat lives with her retired owner, Fred Everett, in the Tupelo suburb of Belden, when at least two people tried to break into their shared home last

week. The cat did everything she could to alert Everett of the danger. You hear of guard dogs, said Everett. This is a guard cat. The attempted robbery occurred sometimes between 2.30 and 3 a.m. on July 25th. He said he was first awoken by bandits meows in the kitchen. Then she raced into the bedroom, jumped on the bed, began pulling the comforter off of him, clawing at his arms. He knew something was up. She has never done that before. I went, what in the world is wrong with you?

Everett got up to investigate, saw two young men outside his back door. One had a handgun and the other was using a crowbar to try and pry the door open. Everett said by the time he retrieved the handgun and returned to the kitchen, they had already fled. Everett told the newspaper he did not call the police. He said the situation could have been very different without Bandit. It did not turn into a confrontational situation thank goodness but i think it's only because of the cat damn everett adopted bandit from the tupello lee humane society four years ago i must i must stress to you that normally i'd say that's this story's

insane nonsense but having played through the game, that cat is single-handedly saving all of society. And I just want everyone to know that everyone in that game talks to that cat like that cat fully understands every damn thing you're saying. And I just realized that today. People are like, all right, cat, so I'm going to need you to open this door, go in this room and do this thing. And you as the player are like, okay, that's my instructions of how to play the game. But if you think about it what you're doing is, this cat fully understood and comprehended

that paragraph of dialogue from that guy, and is now going to go sneak through the sewers, open a door power on a generator, and then go get the giant radioactive battery that's needed to like open a gate that cat would have like found a place to fall asleep and that you would have died in there oh yeah 100 but uh yeah that's i mean that's the game is like nope this is what it is

yeah i was thinking about playing it but I haven't really looked much into it. I saw someone got motion sick playing it, so I was like, I don't know if I'll play this. Motion sick? No, no, no, no, no, no, not me. All right. Good to know. I thought it was great.

Yeah. I like cats. I like video games. I probably like the cat video game. I believe you would. And that's the big news story of the day. All right. Well, that's it for us.

Thanks so much for listening and watching. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Crandor. Hit up the socials. We've got socials. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. All one word. go to the youtube channel hit subscribe hit the bell be notified when we upload these also uh go to youtube.com

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And probably some other stuff. All right, that's it for us. Thanks so much. And as always, to be continued.