Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 352 - Crenaissance

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

The boys are back and this time they've got stories to tell of the renaissance faire! Well, less stories and more turkey legs, but you get the idea. Also Crendor has tiktok questions and Jesse can't get over Seals big day out. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://calm.com/cox for 40% off a Calm Premium subscription. Go to http://getquip.com/CRENDOR to get your first refill FREE.

Today's episode is brought to you by Calm. Calm is going to get you relaxed, baby. Also today we're brought to you by Quip. Quip is going to get your teeth looking sparkly clean. You know it. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. your host, I'm your host, I'm your host, I'm your host, Cox and Grendel in the morning! Hey. Hi. Hey, it's been a few weeks since we did one of these is that true yeah because last week we did the live one well i mean we did this it isn't like we didn't do the on the live show yeah but it's different it's like when i'm here i'm like i'm

sitting here i'm just like a computer and then you, you know, at a live show, I'm like on a stage making fun of people in the audience. That is mostly what the live show is. That is roughly if people are curious. If you didn't listen to last week's episode, pretty much is us just belligerently mocking the audience for attending. Yeah, it's a it's a good time. Honestly, I love it. It it really is i have a blast yeah it's a ton of fun yeah it's fun and uh the the big thing was you showed up we had the old medieval times and then we did the live show but then nobody at the live show knew that we were going

uh well they knew we were going to the ren fair but they didn't know about the ren fair experience yet oh yeah y'all missed out now normally a smart person would have said let's go do all those things before the live show so we can talk about the live show right no no no we were gonna do it after so we somebody talked about this week that's called proper planning that. So yeah, that was first things first. You drank a lot of alcohol. Like a lot. Well, so did

you. No, I didn't. What do you mean? Oh, you mean the live show. Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant it. We drank equal amounts at the Renaissance Fair. Thank you very much. I'm not talking about the Ren Faire. The night before, I was like, is this guy going to wake up? Is he going to make it to the Ren Faire? You had like a half a bottle of French Malort.

I will say that I was well prepared. I'm not a big drinker, but I have the intestinal fortitude to handle it. So it wasn't a big deal. Plus, you know, I was trying to, like, show off. You know, I got to flexing, flexing on the crowd. You know, you got to let them know who's boss. Right. You never know.

In the crowd could be my future ex-wife. So I got to show up. I got to show up. You got to show up. Yeah. You got to put on. Exactly. So, yeah, I was like like I hope you wake up and then because when we left the live

show he were just like you literally had like a me quote where you're like you ever just start feeling like you're not in your body dude I didn't we were walking uh to your car and toast turned around was like are you okay I'm like I'm gonna let you know i feel like i'm a foot in front of me i definitely was feeling it yeah i was like oh no even though it was like oh you drank a lot it was over the course of three hours basically so it wasn't a lot real it wasn't like i was I was chugging a bunch. Yeah. So I was fine. I got back and went to bed not really messed up at all. And I woke up the next day and was totally fine. Yeah. It shocked me, but I was like, hey, you know what? We can go to the Ren Faire.

Well, I will say that night I was fine. And we'll talk about the Ren Faire, but my God, after the Ren Faire, I don't know if I was jacked up on something. I don't know if that turkey leg got me working. But I'm going to let you know, I did not sleep at all. Really? You dropped me off after the Ren Faire. Got back to my hotel. And I was like, I'm like jacked up

I'm not tired at all So I went down to the lobby And asked if room service could deliver me some like Herbal tea or something to like You know calm me down or something So they brought me some tea And they brought me like some little like You know those tea cookies that are tasteless

You know that kind where you're supposed to dip it I don't know And so I sat there and I watched I think it was like American Pickers or something that was on TV. And they're going around like, this could be real valuable, this sign from 1832 that's totally ruined. If I just spend $3,000, I can fix it up real nice. I'm like, okay.

So I watched that. And then that ended. And I was like, all right, well, I guess I should go to bed. So I went into the Bedroom And by the way for people who don't know I was sending Crendor these photos My god

The hotel room they gave me I guess because I frequent enough Of this brand of hotel That I'm like a mega super Person there I don't know what I guess I'm like at like diamond status And when I don't know what it is. I guess I'm like at diamond status. And when I got there, like, sir, don't worry. We found you a great room.

And it was a corner room in this hotel in the middle of Chicago. The windows are looking over the city. Beautiful. This place was, I had a living room, a hallway that connected to a bedroom, and then a bathroom that had two showers. Two! One was a normal shower that you stepped into, and one was like this big, long, mega shower. And it had like seats in it and stuff.

And I was like, this is a sex shower. This is what this must be. There's no other purpose for this shower to exist. It had like eight different hoses. Like, you walked in there there and would spray you down So of course the first day I was there I took a normal shower But after that I took

I was like hose me down And I would turn on all the faucets And just spray myself It was great But that was definitely the sex shower for sure Oh yeah 100% But I walked to the bedroom And I Laid down the bed And it might have been, I don't know, midnight, I guess.

And I had a flight, so I had to, I knew I had to be up at 7 a.m. in order to get to the airport. My flight was at 10, so I was like, I got to be up at 7, get dressed, get to the car, go, right? I was going to be fine. So it is midnight, and I'm like, all right, time to go Right? I was going to be fine So it is midnight And I'm like alright time to go to bed I go to bed And I can't sleep I'm just laying in bed for an hour I just can't get to sleep

I don't know why I'm not even thinking of anything I'm not even like focused on anything Sometimes you worry about stuff I don't have any of that I just can't sleep I'm sitting there in the dark And I hear the city

in the street and that's usually calming for me. Did not work at all. So I turned on my phone and put on the calm app, shout to come. And, uh, that played, I listened to like two stories, complete full stories. Could not sleep. It's like, okay, look at my, look at my phone. It's now 2am. I'm like like, alright, Jesse, we gotta We gotta go to bed, or you're gonna be a mess tomorrow, dude Like, I know you're gonna sleep on the plane But like, we gotta go to bed We gotta go to bed

So, I go to the internet To find like a video on YouTube that's like Maybe an ASMR thing or something But instead, I end up watching An hour's worth of YouTube videos So now it's 3am And I'm like, oh my god, alright I gotta go to bed, but I'm not tired But instead, I end up watching an hour's worth of YouTube videos. So now it's 3 a.m. And I'm like, oh, my God. All right.

I got to go to bed. But I'm not tired. I'm just, like, jacked. I'm like, okay. I don't know what happened today. I just got to go to bed. So I then put on, I think it was SiriusXM. I put on, like, the radio because I was like, all right, I'm just going to listen to some stuff.

And I sat there listening intently to a radio. I was like, go to bed, brain. Go to bed. Couldn't do it. It is now 5 a.m. And I have to be up at 7. There's no point in sleeping two hours. I'm going to wake up worse than I was before.

So then I just watched videos and scrolled through Reddit for two hours. And then got up, took a shower, packed, went to the airport, went through... Oh my god. Got... There was a family in front of me. And I need to stress this to everyone listening Prepare For your flight Like know the rules

Know how to travel Know there are other people there This family there was like 8 of them And they all had their Tickets on the mom's phone Oh my god So they get there and the mom shows the guy the phone. He's like, okay, well, you need each person needs to come up here and, you know, I need

to see the ID with a ticket. And so she's sitting there scrolling through her phone trying to find everyone's ticket while the family's gathered around. And one by one by one, they're doing this. Meanwhile, the line behind us is growing and growing and growing and growing. I'm just like waiting for them to hurry it up. And then they get through seven of eight and the mom can't find one of the daughter's information.

And so she's scrolling through her phone. She's like, I can't, I just can't find it. And the guy is trying to be patient. So he's not saying stand off to the side. He's like, okay, well, let me, maybe I can help you. And I'm like, oh my God. Meanwhile, there is only one guy there. There are four booths that you can go to, but only one person is present.

So all of us have to wait. The line is getting more rowdy. People are starting to be like, ugh. You can hear them grunting and making noises. Mind you, it is like zoo animal. It really was. People are getting so pissed. And this woman is so oblivious to the nature of what she's doing.

She's like, this is so weird. I just can't find it. Where is it at? And all the kids and everyone Oh dude, I was so pissed. All the kids are kind of off to the side and they're taking off their shoes and stuff and they can't figure out what goes in the bin and what doesn't.

So already I'm like, no matter what, these people are holding up everything. These people haven only traveled before? That's what's blowing my mind. I hate that. The man just told you, take your laptop out of the bag. And instead they put the whole bag there and he's like, take the laptop out. And they're like, well, where do I put it?

And he's like, in one of the bins. And he's like, well, what if my shoes are there? He's like, you don't put your shoes in the laptop, sir. I'm like, oh, my God. I'm like, mind you, I'm on zero sleep. So I'm physically shaking. I'm just like, oh, my God. I got to get into my flight.

I have like, I don't know, maybe an hour before the flight takes off. So I'm in no rush. But I'm still just like, I just want to sit down in a chair and close my eyes and tune out the world so I can get on the plane and then fall asleep on this plane. That's all I want. That's all I'm asking for. And she's just like, hold on. Hold on. I'll find it.

Finally, someone in the back is like, can you just have her move to the side? And the guy is like, yeah, ma'am, that's probably what we should do. Can you stand up to the side? She's like, I almost have it. I almost have it. And he's like, yeah, ma'am, that's probably what we should do. Can you stand up to the side? She's like, I almost have it. I almost have it. And he's like, alright, alright. Just stand up to the side and I'll get the next guy. He's like, sir, come up here. And as I start to walk forward, she goes, got it! And like jumps in

front of me. She checks in. She goes to go put her stuff in the conveyor belt. And I'm just like, hi, sir. And he's like, sorry about that. It's been a crazy day. Andveyor belt and I'm just like Hi sir and he's like sorry about that It's been a crazy day and I'm like I bet it has sir Alright thank you it takes me two seconds

For him to verify it's me cause I have my Ticket a physical ticket and my Physical ID out Then I go stand in line behind this family of eight people That clearly doesn't know what the hell they're doing And I then sit there now And then what happens is there's now another backup. As the two TSA agents that are there, one is scanning and one is doing the, like,

come on through, sir. The backup was so bad, they had to stop doing the full body scan. They just started bringing people in the side. They were like, come on. Come on. Let's go. I was so frustrated. I was like, I can't believe.

I mean, if you're going to roll eight deep, at least be prepared. Like, if it's one or two people and you're, like, first time flying, whatever. It's not going to take forever. But eight people deep, this should be your life. If you're going to have six kids, this should be your life. That you are always prepared to be in the way of other people. So you think about that frequently. Because, oh, my God, I was so mad.

I like how that guy is just like, yeah, it's been a crazy day. It's like 6 a.m. Yeah, it just started. What are you talking about? I guess technically it has been a crazy day just dealing with that one family. I mean, I guess maybe people called off or something. I don't know, but it was stressful. Then finally I got on the plane, closed my eyes, woke up, got home.

Everything was fine. And then in the same day, before we get back to the fun stuff, in the same day this week, I get a call from my mom, and she's like, I have a terrible sore throat. Did I get that from you? I'm like, no, I feel fine. She's like, okay. And then I get a message like two hours later from the government

that's like, you've been exposed to COVID on your flight back from Chicago. That's the second time, dude. The second time. Thankfully, I don't have COVID, but I can't believe I'm just like, that was a rough 24 hours. That sounds like it. Yeah. But before that, Saturday was lovely. That's true.

Yeah, that's right. The Ren Faire. The only thing I can think of is I gave you some Crenn coffee. That was lovely, but was that before or after we left? Or were there? That was, we came back from the Ren Faire, and then you showed us YouTube videos for like an hour. Dude, I love, I think his name is Mr. Video. I love that man.

Yeah, Mr. Video. Dude is hilarious. But yeah, we were watching that and then I made coffee and then I gave you like half a cup of coffee. But I don't think that's going to keep you up. It'd probably keep you up a bit. Oh, you're talking about me staying awake all night. I don't think the Crenn coffee did it.

I don't know what it was. Yeah, I didn't give you that much. I just couldn't, I was like unable to sleep i don't know why i don't know how just happened yeah i don't know i've had that before it sucks yeah and usually it's when something really exciting is gonna happen the next day that's true yeah and i and i like get jittery and i I always think about it, but nothing exciting was happening. I just wanted to go to bed. I was just like, I just want to go to,

I just want to sleep. I mean, if the next day, for example, some beautiful redhead was going to be like, hey, let's go get lunch, maybe then I'd be a little like, oh my God. But no, not at all. It was just like, got to drag my ass out of bed and go to O'Hare.

Okay, cool. I have no idea what happened. Couldn't tell you. Yeah, I don't know. But Ren Faire was fun. You know what? It was. We got there.

And what were your initial impressions? You hyped it up to me in a way that I didn't think it would meet my expectations. Because my expectations for Ren Fairs, the ones that I've been to have been pretty awful. All right. And so my expectation, I haven't been to the one in LA, but I've been to a few others in the past, and they were kind of like, jank. This place, Pretty legit. Yeah. It's like a full on Ren town.

It is. It isn't like a fair that was set up. It is straight up a town that has actual real structures and there were tons of people there and it was super fun to people watch and I still have questions about how the renaissance

Equals fairies And like crazy Vikings and stuff But what the hell do I care It's really just LARPing But eating while you LARP It's like alright We got you the turkey leg

Which you got the last one Hilarious because we got that message from that dude I was in line behind you and you got the last one. Hilarious, because we got that message from that dude. It was like, I was in line behind you, and you got the last one. I was like, ah, ha, ha, ha. So you got that turkey leg, got the artichoke. Can I ask you a question? So we got to the Ren Faire, and you have, like, mega cool kid parking. What is the deal with that?

How often do you go to the Ren Faire? I don't even have mega cool kid parking. What is the deal with that? How often do you go to the Ren Faire? I didn't even have mega cool kid parking. You didn't? I thought you did. No, that was just the pay $10 and park parking. Oh. All right, well, all right. I thought you did something special. Yeah, I gave him $10.

That's pretty special. That's pretty special. That is pretty special. So, yeah, then you just park. It was, like, raining when we left, actually. So, it was good timing. But, yeah, you know, we got our turkey leg. We got the artichoke. I mean, really, you just got to eat and drink.

I think we had, I had, like, how many beers? I had, had like two beers two and a half beers or something and then you had the fancy drinks although I think you thought they were going to be fancy they just poured them out of it they were literally just from a jug

no fancy at all I thought they were going to make me a mixed drink the girl pulled out a carton and poured it in a cup and was like here you go I was like alright cool they don't got time for that they're just like listen this is what we got pulled out a carton and poured it in a cup and was like, here you go. I was like, all right, cool. Yeah, no, they don't got time for that. They're just like, listen, this is what we got.

This is what you get. I will say the Long Island iced tea, that one's a pretty good one out of a jug. And it's like the red, white, and blue whatever. It just tastes like a Popsicle with alcohol. That one's pretty good. We walked through the gate. Right. And I was immediately overwhelmed with, like, the extreme nerddom of it.

And I loved every bit of it. It was great. But we directly from that moment went. You were like, all right, turkey legs. We, like, went immediately. And so I'm curious, what do you normally do? Like for us, I don't know if it, cause when we went, I woke up that, that Saturday and I got coffee and that's all I had all day before I met you guys. And so I told toast and she's like, we're going to get you some food dog. And I was like, okay. So is that normal? Or do you do other things before you go find the food no always find the food first

every time okay you get we go find the food get your alcohol you eat and you drink and then you start roaming right because then you walk off what you're you know you're walking around like yeah you know now i'm not hungry you know you get a little buzz going, and you're just like, yeah, what do you got here? You got some dudes selling candles? Cool. Like, what's over here? Oh, this guy's selling rocks. Neat.

You know, and you just walk around. This is how I felt about the glass-blowing guy. I think I was buzzed enough that I was like, hell yeah. Yeah, he just looked like George R.R. Martin blowing glass. Yeah. That was great. Yeah, honestly, that was the most crowded I think I've ever seen it. It was packed, dude.

That was wild. Yeah. It's usually probably half that crowded. Like the lines were insane. I don't know. It might have just been prime time for like this is the day everyone goes or something. But yeah, we did that walked around we saw the mud show i need everyone to understand crendor for years has been talking up the mud show

and i thought it was kind of dumb and stupid and goofy and i was like well this is stupid what a dumb show it makes no now i've never been so entertained in my life That was the most I don't know how long that show was It felt like it was five minutes It breezed by I don't know What else to say except for

I think one of them said they've been doing it for 45 years It shows Their comedic timing Everything they do is like perfect And Billy Billy playing songs before it started just like in the video that you recorded yeah came out with his kazoo or something horn that little crappy horn they started playing it and the best part was his people would suggest songs and he

start playing it badly and then he's like, if you want me to stop, all you got to do is pay me. And then people would go up and pay him to stop. Genius. Genius. Yeah. No, they got it made. They just do that show like four times a day, and I don't know if they do it anywhere else. I feel like they probably travel around a bit or something, but it's a blast.

Before the show started, he was saying that they do the show at this fair, and he says the take-home from the fair helps fund them for the rest of the year. So I know other people have said there are mud shows in their town. Maybe they travel, but maybe they're different groups in different towns, and they all work under the same mud brothers. That's possible, maybe. Yeah, I don't know either. But Billy was saying that it paid the rent.

They make enough money for however long the rent fare is that it pays the rent for the rest of the year. I was like, damn, okay. Oh, yeah. Let's see. I mean, they were making a lot of money. Yeah, man. That was pretty crazy. Oh, yeah.

There's a, let's see. I typed it in, and then there's like people on the internet uploading to YouTube. Somebody has the Sterling Renaissance Festival Mudbagger Show from 1999. Damn. Damn. Yeah. I guess they have been doing it a while. I bet it's roughly.

I mean, when you think about it, all they're doing is the same goof that doesn't involve any technology. It's like three dudes goofing around in mud, and then at the end they ask for money and they make a fortune. Yeah. Not a bad racket. They do the thing where they're just like, oh man, we got a bunch of money, but if we could just get a little bit more money. They just keep going.

The best part about that is you've seen the show so much that at a certain point both you toast were like oh yeah we gotta go to the bathroom i'm like where are you going they're like oh this one they asked for the money and you like vanished oh yeah i was like left there alone just me and billy billy von billy is like harassing the crowd for bucks oh yeah i mean to be fair i had to pee really bad. I was like, alright, cool. I will say, the show is very funny. The jokes are great. Billy Billy Von Billy is clearly the best one.

Dude killed it. I was a little worried because at one point he makes a joke about how he's going to stick mud in his pants and make William Shakespeare out of mud. Yeah. And he put so much mud in his pants that his pants were like falling out of the point that I thought we were about to see a dick. I was real worried. I was like, there are kids in this crowd. I was like, oh, no. And he's like mashing his junk to make make this this i was like oh boy this is probably not good yeah no but it was very funny um i couldn't hear what the other guy was saying

the the french guy who was like the drunk french dude which is probably a stereotype but like whatever it was funny uh billy was very, he made a lot of great jokes. The comedic timing, like I said, was fantastic. And they jumped around in the mud. And like Crandor said before, at the end, the judge eats the mud and we all laughed. And, yeah, crazily enough, however they figured out how to, I don't know, I don't want to say con. The whole goof is that they're beggars Right

So they convince all of us that they're beggars And they keep saying they're beggars So when they ask for money at the end They're like well we told you what we were And then people just There was a little girl After you left there was a little girl And her family next to us

And she kept Taking one dollar bills up to them to the point where she had done five and they're like you've done five already i bet you can't do six and so the mom's like here go to six and i was like my god they someone gave them a 10 and they're like we got a 10 on this side and then billy runs over he's like i'm everyone going to have $10? And people are just forking. Alcohol, man. It was crazy. It was like watching Twitch television live. It really was.

It really was live Twitch. Yeah. We are 100% Mud Brothers. Also, I went to their Facebook. I found Billy Billy from 2001. Dude, Billy had some abs going. He looks no different. Yeah, he just

got more of a gut. This is mind-blowing to me. He looks the exact same except his hair is a little more white. He looks the exact same. And he's been doing it, that's at least 20 years right there. Oh yeah. Yeah, 21 years. I gotta know how much they make i gotta know

it would be fun to know i don't even oh my god yeah they got mud show from 1985 there's just a they have a caption all right hold on here's a picture all right and it just says quote long dick telling a fish story 1985 yep yep yep so i don't know i guess uh i don't know if the mud show's evolved to this point or if it's devolved or what's happened but But either way, you got to experience it, and that's all I wanted. I did not expect it to be that fun. I did not expect to enjoy the Mud Brothers as much as I did. Loved it.

I was cheering by the end of it. Loved every minute of it. Big fan. And then we walked around some more, and y'all got corn, which looked delicious, by the way. It was. And then I got the best pickle I've ever had That pickle was extra spicy That girl, that poor pickle girl She was like, so we got three pickles

Dill Garlic Or spicy, and I was like spicy please She turned around and went all the way to the back of her shack And this bucket Was all brine. And I see her reach deep down in that bubble. Like, oh, that's a bottom pickle. She pulls that thing out.

I was like, that's going to be the best. That was the spiciest pickle I've ever eaten. It was so good. It was so good. I walked around with that like, oh, yeah. I like this pickle. That's good pickle. But anyway, anyway yeah that was the Ren Faire Yeah Ren Faire was great

I had a ton of fun I'm glad I went I was not expecting to be as much Of a blast as it was Yeah Also I wrote this down I wanted to bring it up Oh boy okay I've noticed that. I wanted to bring it up. Oh, boy. Okay. I've noticed that everybody I know, Sam just started doing this.

I've seen other people doing it. You do it. Everybody on TikTok that's like a friend of mine, they all do the gamer TikToks, which is like you're playing a game, and it shows you, and the text pops over, and it's just like that's the thing i feel like i'm the only person that does weird real life tiktoks that aren't just game clips well i mean out of our friend group certainly but i don't think out of the internet well not the other i just meant our friend group but But I want to know why. Does nobody want to do the wacky real-life TikToks? Well, I think it's about time management, if that makes any sense.

Like, if I do... It doesn't. Okay, well... Well, you know how long it took me to make a TikTok? Like, two minutes. Right, right, right, right, right, right. But I don't know about Sam, but in my case, the only reason why I'm making any TikToks is because I am delving a few toes into the world of Zoomers, and I don't get it, frankly,

at all. I'm not very good at it. I don't understand it. frankly at all i'm not very good at it i don't understand it and um the the the fact of the matter is that i found a great editor who i love and i told her like make whatever you want and um she has that whole put the text there and do the thing and edits and it's very very good and so i just let her do whatever she wants and that's what she does i have zero control over it i don't my thoughts into the world of tiktok is 0.0001 every once in a while i'll log in to see how things are going and i'll be bombarded with either something like a thirst trap of some sort or on the flip side a dude who's like all women

are trash and there's no in between i'm like boy tiktok is ass and then i'll go see how we're doing and then i'll leave and i never have anything to do with it so i really don't think about tiktok all that much which is why i've given no thought to content creation on it because the content that's on there literally is cut up versions of the things i already do in order to focus energy back to that. So like if you find me on TikTok, right, then you're more likely to click a link that says see more and then go watch the other stuff that's like longer form. And that's the only difference. I don't use it as like this is me making TikToks for the sake of TikTok.

TikTok is bonus stuff of things I've already done. I mean, that's it for me. I assume that's the case for Sam as well. I think most people are doing that. And for you, it's easier to make a video that's 30 seconds long of a stick, for example, than to take something you've made, edit it down, then upload it to TikTok. But because I'm paying someone to do that and I'm not doing it, it's easier for me because I don't got to do anything.

That's true. I get that. I think it's, honestly, I think it's just because it fits my non-content style. Because, like, I'm just going to upload YouTube shorts or, like, a 30-second non-content thing, and now I'm like, Oh, this is just, I just put it on this platform. So I guess, uh, other people probably aren't going to do that because they're not doing my,

my non-content style. It's about the content you are doing, right? It's about the things you are working on. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, I just put up a tick tock with cat and Crenslaw.

Uh, it's about 17 seconds. Yeah. Well, there you sense. I mean, I just put up a TikTok with Kat and Crenslaw. It's about 17 seconds. Yeah, well, there you go. 15 seconds. That right there is a perfect Crendor video. It fits who you are. Now, if you were to start uploading onto TikTok the, I don't know, like pointless top 10 things, I don't know, like pointless top ten things. And it's like pointless top ten stupid shit and wow.

And then you put like number three. You just did number three. And then you're like at the end, we're like see more at. That's kind of the shit that we're doing. Yeah, that makes sense. And for you, I don't know that you would have the patience to do all that. No. But again, you could just then pay someone to do it for you. Yeah, I don't want that you would have the patience to do all that no uh but again you just then pay someone to do it for you yeah i don't do that see well there's your problem i'm the person where

someone like the first thing i would ever do is hire an editor so i could actually make wow videos really easily and like all types of videos easily and i was like i'm not gonna do that i'll just do it myself well the difference is that the wow editor the editor well the editor for like a youtube video is different than an editor for tiktok and that's one of the things I learned immediately is having trying to get people that edit long form stuff to edit really short things is very difficult and when I I put out literally said any zoomers out there who can do this kind of video that has the text and the thing, and I got a bunch of responses,

but this girl, Christina, who is amazing, responded and was like, you mean like this? And it was perfect. It was exactly what, in my mind, I imagined a 14-year-old would watch. And I was like, yes, that is it. And so I will say, so far,

they've been on TikTok, we're doing well, but also it translates over into YouTube Shorts very well as well. We have one that we made 22 million views. Oh, my God. I know. And this also is where I learned that TikTok and YouTube Shorts, for anyone who's saying, man, I want to get into TikTok or I want to make make shorts or whatever. They do not pay at all, at all, at all. I have never once gotten 22 million anythings. Like, I think the highest I've ever had view wise in a month was maybe six or seven million. Right.

That was the highest. Um, this video on Cox Clips Had 22 million In less than a month And it did get subscribers To Cox Clips which is great But I think at the end of the day It made like 30 bucks 40 dollars something

It was a crazy small amount of money I was like 22 million Oh we in the money baby I went to my analytics and it was like, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. It sucked, dude. So, yeah, I mean, don't go in thinking that it's going to make you bank. And admittedly, I never thought that until I saw 22 million. I was like, oh, my God.

And then I realized, oh, no, go back to what you thought before. This isn't about making money. It's about a brand thing. And if people see you one place, they're more likely to see you somewhere else. It's the same reason why we ended up on Twitter to begin with, right? We were on YouTube. And then we came to Twitter because it's like, we have to promote our stuff. And it's all part of the game.

It sucks, but that's what it is. Because then if someone sees you TikTok and they're like, I wonder what they're streaming right now. And then they go check out your stream. It's all pretty much. Or they see your stream and they're like, where are the VODs? And you're like, oh, they're like, I wonder what they're streaming right now. And then they go check out your stream. It's all connected. Yeah, pretty much. Or they see your stream and they're like, where are the VODs? And you're like, oh, they're over on YouTube. They're like, oh, is that why you don't have them here? It's like, yeah. And so you try to get the synergy thing and get people

to subscribe to stuff. And it does work. I will say that in the last month or two, I've gained since we really started focusing on this I went from Being stuck at

987,000 subscribers At YouTube, now I'm up to 992 So like, we're almost at that million And then over on Cox Clips Which is like, just living its own life Cox Clips is Already at 80,000

Woo And I literally And again my The only thing I'm doing is Putting those VODs and the same Things that the same TikToks over there So like It basically if you don't have TikTok

You don't need it because you can get it on Cox Clips Like that kind of thing And the work that I'm putting in The the stuff that I'm doing is very, very little because I have a team that's doing it. And so, again, it comes to the give and take of do you want to pay for that? And I do pay a premium to get it done. And so just, yeah, for you, obviously, I don't think anyone has your particular voice. But when it comes to TikTok, who needs a voice? You know what I mean?

It literally is. Everything's a formula. And frankly, just, you know, I'm just saying. I bet there's someone out there who could nail Crendor. Well, that's not what I mean. Well, maybe. But I bet there's someone out there who could nail your vibe and could easily take content you make and create things with it. That's probably true, but I'm not going to pay for that.

Well, all right. I can do it myself. Yeah. But would you, though? I say that often. I say, oh, I'll do it myself, and then I don't because I get caught up in a million things. Would you do it yourself, though? What specifically?

Anything else besides what you normally do. Probably. You can't say that. Probably. Saying anything else but what you normally do is very generic. I don't know what you're talking about. Content wise. Beyond what you create on a normal basis.

Could you find the time in your life to do more? Yes That's the difference I can't I can't find the time When I think of all the things I'm doing I literally have no free time Oh yeah, I got some time

But I'm always open to learning how to make more free time Maybe even learn how to do simpler videos. Well, that's when you hire me. Well, all right. All right. Now, first up, I'll tell you how to do it. You just make a vlog. You're in bed.

You're just like, guys, I got COVID. All right. Doesn't have to be long. You know, two to four minutes. That'll be enough of your energy reserved to get that video up all right then all right next day you're gonna be like what does jesse cox do when he's got covid all right it could just be you watching tv you're gonna film that okay boom another video probably gonna do better than whatever else you're putting out that day then you make a tiktok it was like

guys i got covid give me your t your TikTok COVID remedies down the comments section. All right. Boom. Easy. And then you can go sleep after that. All right. Boom. Look at this.

I'm giving you free advice. You're not even paying me. Yeah. I mean, that's why you're better at this than me. That's true. That's also why I'm selling my makeshift.com slash product slash credit slot. Which 11 days to go until it's officially going to be produced.

And we are 116 percent funded. I'm very happy that he's getting produced. I brought him to the live show. You probably heard about it last week if you listened to that. Because I plugged it a lot. But this will be my second plush next to my

zombie dragon, which was six years ago. Hell yes. Yeah. And you saw the Crensloth. You liked him. I love the Crensloth. Crensloth is so good looking.

Yeah. I'm surprised. Because it's a, let me, there's some other companies I've went to where he did not look great. Like, I don't know. There's like evil ninja shredder Crenslaw. I don't know if I showed you that one, but hold on. Here you go.

This was one company that wanted to make a Crenslaw. So basically, one of the things that I immediately notice is it looks like they are using a format they already have and just recoloring it yes and like his nose is like partially colored and then the other part is just like a different color it doesn't make any sense yeah it looks it looks like that was someone else's design and they just put your image on it yeah and his smiles like an evil smirk of like yes i will conquer the world it was and i was like all right i'm gonna find a company that actually knows what they're doing so this is like the company octopimp used and like all these people and i was like all right i'll trust them and uh they've been great and uh i'm excited because all i gotta do is promote, and they do everything else.

It's fantastic. It looks fantastic. Again, it's very cool looking. You nailed the design. Clearly you knew what you wanted, and I think that's very smart. Thanks. Yeah. Well, you know what else is very smart?

What? Taking care of your teeth. That's smart. And Quip is going to help you do that. I know. Getting into habits. It seems like it's tough. It seems like, you know, I got to do this. And especially when it comes to kids. Oh my God. Getting kids to brush their teeth, man, what a hassle. Yeah. But good health starts with good habits, and sometimes you just gotta like buckle down and do it. Thankfully, Quip makes it easy by delivering all the oral care essentials you need right to your house, right to your mouth, and they do it in a way that's kind of, actually kind

of fun. The Quip electric toothbrush is loved by over 7 million mouths and has, again, these sonic vibrations that are timed every 30 seconds so that you can sort of quadrant your mouth and do like one fourth, one fourth, one fourth, one fourth for a two minute clean. It's lightweight, has a sleek design for adults and kids with no wires, no bulky charger, no nothing. Has a multi-use travel container that doubles as a mirror mount, less clutter on your actual sink, reusable handle. It comes in so many different colors like all black or all pink or different plastic

colors to make it pop on your mirror there. On top of your brushing, if you want to upgrade, you can to the new smart motor. Track and improve your brushing, right? That's how you get that habit formed. Earn amazing rewards like free refills, products, Target gift cards, and more. Beyond the brush, Quip has everything you need to build a complete

full experience as well for this routine that you're going to start. Anti-cavity toothpaste, two ways to floss, like floss string or reusable floss picks, refillable bubble gum that is sugar-free, long-lasting with this mint flavor, comes with a little dispenser, and mouthwash, four times concentrate. It's good for you. It's good for the planet.

In addition to those brush heads, you also can get the fresh floss, the toothpaste, the mouthwash, the gum refills, all of it from $5. Shipping is free, so you can save money, skip the hustle and bustle of the store with a stylish electric toothbrush from just $25. You'd be a fool not to jump in on this for better oral care. If you go to getquip.com slash Crendor right now, you'll get your first refill free. That's getquip.com. That's G-E-T-Q-U-I-P.com.

Quip, it's a good habits company. Also today, we're brought to you by Calm. Hey, I want you to focus on something. Just like real quick, real quick. All right. How are you feeling? How are things going? Uh, a little stressed.

Well, if the answer is anything less than amazing, we are here to help you. Our partners at Calm have the tools to get you feeling your best. It is the number one mental wellness app to give you everything you need to

improve the way you feel. Reduce stress and anxiety through guided meditations, improve focus with curated music tracks, and rest and recharge with Calm's imaginative sleep stories for children and adults. There's even new daily movement sessions designed to relax your body, uplift your mind, get you breathing right. designed to relax your body, uplift your mind, get you breathing right. If you go to Calm.com slash Cox, you can get 40% off a premium subscription, and new content is added every week. You can be like me and just vibe out to the morning meditation

where she comes on, she's just like, Hey, hi, let's breathe a little. And now I'm going to tell you something that's probably really profound, but you're sitting there breathing and that's good. And it works. You always forget that you need to like recharge yourself in the morning and just deep breaths work so well. It's crazy. Over a hundred million people around the world already use Calm to take care of their minds. Calm is here to help you stress less, sleep more, and live a happier, healthier life. Right now, you can go get 40% off a Calm premium subscription at calm.com slash cox.

That's C-A-L-M dot C-O-M slash cox. For 40% off Calm's entire library. That's C-A-L-M dot C-O-M slash Cox. Alright, let's go to Trump. Let's go to Trump. Traffic is actually

getting better. Everybody's back in school now. Everybody's, well, not everybody, but a lot of people are back in school now. People are still going back to work. Gas prices going down, but that's not doing much. Vacation, summertime, coming to a close. We're getting into

fall. I'm a big fall fan. I like the fall, the autumn. I think a lot of people do. You get the cooler temperatures. You get the pumpkin stuff. You get the October Fest beer. I had an October Fest beer tonight. It was pretty good. uh yeah thank you thanks crendor now let's go to crendor at the weather desk how's that weather weather first off let

me show you the beer i had because the can was great i bought it because of the can that owl is me holy crap that is all right crendrandor showed me this can of beer. And it's, you know, like a normal can of beer, except there's an owl in it. At the very top, the owl's face literally just looks like Crandor. And then you're like the boar at the bottom. That boar at the bottom is just like, I'm happy to be here. It does look like me too. Wow.

That is... I don't like this at all. I don't like this at all. We, they stole our likenesses. It's the half acre logger town Oktoberfest. Damn. Great stuff. Tastes good.

But anyway, we got a weather request from somebody that said, My hometown of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. A small city in the Canadian prairies named after a berry. It holds the world record for largest snowball fight. It also is home to Canada's only pierogi drive-thru restaurant. Yo!

That sounds great! Also, check out the controversy around the proposal to change the name of the berry from Saskatoon's to Juneberry's. There's a lot of stuff going on there. Yeah, wow. All right. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada.

All right, here we are. Up in all Saskatchewanan saskatoon 76 degrees uh we got a pressure of 29.92 inches feels like 76 degrees uh humidity 65 visibility 10 miles wind 17 miles per hour sunrise 6 a.m sunset 8 17 p.m dew point 64 uv index zero moon phase waning crescent looking at the 10 day we got 62 with periods of light rain low 62 winds northeast 15 25 miles an hour chance to rain 70 monday am showers 82 degrees tuesday 83 partly cloudy wednesday 82 mostly sunny Thursday 84 sunny Friday 83 partly cloudy Saturday 82 p.m. thunderstorm Sunday 75 partly cloudy and Monday 76 partly

cloudy you know how usually when we when we go to a city usually when we're in the city we look up different restaurants and different things about the city honestly there's only one thing I want to know about Saskatoon. Okay.

How many Tim Hortons are in Saskatoon? There are 33 Tim Hortons. Oh, my God. That's a lot of Tim Hortons. That's all I need to know. That's all I need to know about this place. 33 chances to get some Timbits Maybe a soup, sandwich Get a coffee What's the population

That's a fantastic question Surely we should be able to find that out 273,000 So that means If you have 33 Tim Hortons Alright 273 Are you calculating this right now

That means you've got 9,000. Or wait. Oh, God. I did this wrong. Stay in school, kids. Yep. Wait. We're learning that every day. The fact that you're having such trouble with this is worrisome.

I thought I did it right. Do that. 200 something thousand divided by 30. Oh, there it is. Wait, what did I do? right. Do that. 200-something thousand divided by 30. Oh, there it is. Wait, what did I do? It should be 8,272 people per Tim Horton. Right? I mean, that's a good odds.

You're going to get some fresh donuts. Let me tell you. Get some fresh Tims. I love the fact that there are. All right, I need to look this up. Hold on. Let me tell you. He had some fresh Tims. I love the fact that there are. I got it. All right. I need to look this up. Hold on.

McDonald's Saskatoon. There are. Incredible. Incredible. Incredible. I'm blown away. There are 12 McDonald's. Wow. Only 12 McDonald's Wow

Only 12 McDonald's That's pretty crazy I didn't think that would be That's Hold on There are more Than double the amount of Tim Hortons That's insane I mean I guess

I mean look I used to live next to the Canadian border Our brothers to the north They they love Tim Hortons. So do I, though. I can't hate. Have you ever been to Tim Hortons? I've driven by one in Ohio. Bro, change your reality. Go to Tim Hortons.

All right. I have to go back. Let's see. I've got to find the closest Tim Hortons. I can't. That's so funny. Surely there's one near you. The closest Tim Hortons is in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Oh, my God. Never mind. Yeah, I don't know if I'm about to go. How are there not Tim Hortons in Illinois? That makes no sense. The only Tim Hortons, I don't even think there's Tim Hortons in Wisconsin. That's closer to Canada. What? There's a bunch of Tim Hortons in Wisconsin. That's closer to Canada. What?

There's a bunch of Tim Hortons in Michigan. There's Tim Hortons in Ohio. Fort Wayne, Indiana. Crazy. That's it. That's where it stops. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. You know what, Tim? Never mind. I think Tim Hortons has gone off the rails My Tim Hortons the Tim Hortons of yesteryear Was like a few Tim bits And like a sandwich and maybe like a A side of something

I went to the Tim Hortons website and they have Tim Hortons boost It's energy Red Bull mixed with something else And I'm like what My god What is that Tim boost It's Red Bull mixed with something else, and I'm like, what? My God. What is that, Tim Boost? I honestly think that maybe Tim Hortons has changed.

I'm over here dreaming of a Tim Hortons 20 years ago. Yeah, you're living in the past, man. I clearly am. But, man, was it a good time. The past was good. The past was good. The past was good. The past was good. That's the weather.

All right. Let's go to sports. Sports. Over in sports. We've got a lot of sports coming at you live from sports. From sports. From sports. Let's see.

Baseball. We've got some baseball standings. We've got the Yankees still in first, but only by eight games now. They've actually had a terrible August, and they are three and seven in their last ten games, but they finally won one today. Then we've got Cleveland in first in the AL Central.

We've got Houston in first in the West. We've got the Mets in first in the AL Central. We got Houston in first in the West. We got the Mets in first in the NL East. St. Louis in first in the Central. And the Dodgers in first in the NL West. Over in football, and by football I mean NFL football. Right, right. Preseason continuing on. We had the Bears beat the Seahawks.

The Patriots beat the Panthers. The Packers beat the Saints. The Texans beat the Rams. Lions beat the Colts. The Bills beat the Broncos. The Chiefs beat the Commanders. The Titans beat the Bucks. The 49ers beat the Vikings.

The Steelers beat the Jaguars. Yo! The Raiders beat the Dolphins. The Cowboys beat the Bucks, the 49ers beat the Vikings, the Steelers beat the Jaguars, the Raiders beat the Dolphins, the Cowboys beat the Chargers, the Eagles beat the Browns, the Bengals lost to the Giants, and the Ravens beat the Cardinals, all in meaningless preseason games that don't actually mean anything.

Did our boy play at all? That's a great question. He, let's see the eagles uh eagles browns i mean they did win so he must have played let's see stats he what the shit nfl.com sucks okay hold on eagles yeah that Here we go. Let me go to the old thing here. He did play, and he completed 14 of 17 passes for 142 yards. That's pretty good. I mean, yeah. That's pretty good.

No touchdowns, but no interceptions. I mean, and he's working with the backups. So, I mean, I think he's pretty good there. So, we'll see. We'll see what happens. But, yeah. And then that's pretty much sports. All right.

What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. Here, we'll keep going with the Canadian theme. Canada eats more macaroni and cheese than any other nation in the world. They love their Kraft dinner. They love it. They love it. Nothing better than that.

They're huge fans. Tim Hortons in the morning, macaroni and cheese at night. Yep. It checks out. Yeah. That's really all it says. It gives no substance, much like actual Kraft macaroni and cheese. Maybe someone in the audience

in the comments, let us know. Let us know your vibe. Why, if you're Canadian, why is it Canadians love their Kraft dinner so much? Yeah, what is it? What's going on there? What's the vibe?

I don't know, but it's your fact of the day. Okay. What's our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day is a pretty big one. Oh, no. Seal bursts in the home through pet flap. Temporarily ousts family cat. Okay.

Time out. Yeah. I now know you meant a seal. Yeah. But the way you said seal, I thought you meant music performing artist and model seal. You go, Seal. And then you started the story. And I was like, wait, like Kiss More Rose Seal?

And you were like, he burst through the pet door. I'm like, whoa. That changes the entire story. It's like, oh, my God. Seal's coming into our house again. Dude, you can't come in here. Seal, you can't come in here. Get out of here, Seal.

The pet flap door was open, all right. A New Zealand cat was not flipping happy after an uninvited seal entered her home through a pet flap in the door. Phil Ross of Mount Maunganui told The Guardian that his family found a young fur seal inside their house Wednesday morning, exploring different rooms and lounging on the couch.

Ross, who coincidentally is a marine biologist, was not home when the seal was discovered. His wife, Jen, had left about an hour before to go to a gym and stumble across the surprising visitor when she came back. and stumbled across the surprising visitor when she came back quote the big joke is that it is really the only family emergency where it would be useful to have a marine biologist in the house i mean yeah it's true i really missed my time to shine it's totally not clear why the seal went inside but ross suspects that his cat coco was outside and attempted to defend the home turf against the pinniped? Obviously the seal wasn't as intimidated.

You gave up on that real quick and moved right on. Sure did. Obviously the seal wasn't as intimidated as some dogs are, so Coco must have bolted around the side of the house into the cat flap and the seal must have followed her. The University of Waikato where Ross works shared photos

of the ordeal on Facebook including one showing the seal peering around a corner and another of Coco in the incident's aftermath. I'll just link you the article you can see. I need to see. Oh it's like a cute seal too it's like a little baby cutie pie

you know he was having the best day of his life Jen Ross shooed the seal outside an apartment of conservation ranger arrived to catch the bold seal and release it back to the sea as for Coco she took time to recover the best

the best part of this photo is there's the photo of the cat and there's the photo of like all this bs then there's one photo of the seal peering around the corner yeah so it looks like the seal's like caught me it's so cute i hate it this is what a cute what a cute cute seal uh coco the cat hid at the neighbor's house and wouldn't come home until the seal was gone ross told fox television stations in an email then for the next day she wouldn't go downstairs where the seal was we didn't see the cat-cat interaction, but it was clearly something that Coco did not enjoy. The intruding seal was in good condition and simply made a poor choice. We've all been there, seal. Don't worry.

It is really common for young seals to end up on unusual bits of coastline at this time of the year. The young ones are starting to get weaned going out on their own, and like most teenagers, can make bad decisions where they end up. I knew the kids were wanting a new pet, Ross joked, but this was definitely a step too far. I love this seal. What a cutie pie. Yeah. See, this is a prime story.

It's fun. It's goofy. Everybody's okay. Nobody died. And the best part is it doesn't end a thing. You know, like, we've had other stories where, like, this cute monkey was eating food, and that's why Monkey Mondays were ruined. And it's like, what? Yeah, it's not like, old man Meth Mark dropped the seal into the house.

Like, ah, there goes Meth Mark again. And now because of this seal, no seals are allowed in this town anymore. It's none of that. It's like, it was funny, it was goofy, and now we're moving on with our lives. This is a good story. This is a good story. This is a good story and a great ending. Neat.

Nice. All right. Well, that is it for this show. Thank you so much for listening or watching or having joined this podcast. Crendor, hit up with the socials. We've got socials. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor. Get all your Cox and Crendor stuff there.

Yep. Subscribe. Hit the bell to be notified when we upload these. If YouTube is working, it might not be, but do it anyway. Also, we're on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud. We're all over. You can also go to youtube.com

slash Cox and Crandor. Do the same thing over there if you want the animations. We also got our main stuff. YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Crandorox. YouTube.com slash crendor. Twitch jessicox. Twitch crendor. Facebook jessicox.

Facebook crendor. Twitter jessicox. Twitter crendor. TikTok crendor. TikTok jessicox. TikTok. Patreon jessicox. Patreon crendor.

Makeship.com slash products. Facebook crendor. YouTube.com slash warhammer crendor. YouTube.com slash products slash Crensloth. YouTube.com slash Warhammer Crendor. YouTube.com slash Cox Clips. YouTube.com slash Cren Clips. I think that's it. Good enough for me. All right. Thanks so much.

We'll see you all next time and as always, shake the octopus. To be continued.