Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 369 - Hangry for 2023

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

Back from a sick Jesse being sick, the boys are here to regial you with their holiday cheer! By which we mean, just the normal stuff they do - but at the end of the year. Also Jesse hasn't eaten all day and Doordash is messing with me so he's in a mood. Meanwhile Crendor is obsessed with vitamin C pee. You know, a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://go.factor75.com/cox60 and use code cox60 to get 60% off your first box. Go to http://mintmobile.com/cox to get 3 extra months free when you buy any 3-month Mint Mobile plan.

Today's episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Mint Mobile's out there trying to get you that good wireless on the cheap. Also today we're brought to you by Factor. Factor is good meals delivered directly to you that are super healthy. Can't go wrong there. Let's jump in this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio. Recording! Wake your ass up! It's the next Crendor in the morning! Hello, everybody! Welcome to another episode! Whoa, I just said words?

You know what? It's 2023. I'm redoing it. I'm redoing it, Crendor! Alright. Hello everyone, and welcome to Corks and Crendor. In the year 2023, it is a dark time for the Rebellion. As the Empire rages over the stars of the galaxy. Only one man, Crendoror can save the day uh hey that's the shittiest intro for a hero i've ever heard uh hey i'll be saving you today

uh how's it going i'll be your superhero today uh you know long time listener first time caller hero today uh you know long time listener first time caller well of course right right right uh we haven't we haven't done one of these shows in two weeks it's probably why you're rusty too we don't have it done in one week well it's been we missed one episode what's i mean we missed one episode but that has been two weeks right i mean i guess you're right. Look, I don't know. Time doesn't mean anything to me. Technically, it's been a whole year. I hate that. That's one of the most annoying things. People are like, see you next year.

Like, all right. Okay. How's it going? Terrible. It's going bad bad 2023 started off terrible I'm furious, I'm so upset Alright, do tell So I didn't get barely any sleep last night, I couldn't sleep for some reason

I was restless, I don't know what was going on there I was very upset, I couldn't get to bed And then, woke up today And still restless and a mess Tired now, right? And I was like, alright, well I'm gonna go try to get some coffee Went to the coffee place down the street They were closed

I was like, alright, well, I'll go to Starbucks Went to Starbucks They had a giant line I was like, alright, well, I'm not going to Starbucks And even though I'm saying I wanted coffee What I really wanted was espresso But I couldn't get it, so I'm not going to Starbucks. And even though I'm saying I wanted coffee, what I really wanted was espresso. But I couldn't get it, so I just went back to the office, made some coffee, normal-ass American Joe. That's, like, I've had nothing to eat today yet.

I'm so hungry. I was like, oh, my God, I just need to eat something good, put it into my body. This will be fine. I just need to eat something good, put it into my body. This will be fine. I know I deleted the apps, but I said to myself, okay, Jesse, you have an hour before you have to film with Crandor. There's no place you can go right now because you have to edit this video.

So just download the app, download DoorDash, just order, like, I got a soup and salad. I was like, that's fine. A soup, a salad, and iced tea. That's like, you know what? It's fine. I can't mess this up. It'll be fine.

Everything will be okay. It'll be here before we do the podcast. Because then, the minute I'm done with this, I have to go film more stuff. So I'm like, I'll be busy all night. I don't have time to go anywhere and get food. There's nothing in the office to make. Fine, I'll eat this soup and salad. Order it 55 minutes before we're supposed to film.

Right. I did not hear one word from them until 12 minutes after we were supposed to start. And here's the crazy thing. I'm going to see if I can pull up the messages. I don't know if they allow you to pull up old messages From your orders But uh This dude sucked This dude was terrible

So he took This is why I deleted all these apps This is why I'm deleting this one And I'm furious This dude Took five orders And I was the last of five so no matter what my food is cold yeah right and salad's fine not too worried about the soup now i'm like all right i messaged you

like i'm gonna have to reheat this reheat this damn soup right i'm i'm like oh god this sucks every time i order stuff it's always cold we're in la whatever anyway so he delivers the four and then he's a block and a half away from my office and it literally goes bing been delivered like what and it said it was left out it said your dasher dropped your order off okay so i walk outside thinking maybe he didn't call me and he dropped it off outside which is why am i giving you a tip what have you done to earn this like he did nothing for me you went and picked it up that's your job right and so i'm like okay all right so i walk outside nothing pitch black it's like the ground's still wet from rain so i was already mad that if you left it outside the bottom is so but no nothing was there so i messaged him this is the first time i've ever

messaged anyone i was finally i'm done right this is the jesse is done point i messaged him and i said dude did you call me and he responded uh can you send your address and so i sent him the address and then three minutes later he goes my phone is acting weird and i was like it was literally Responded, can you send your address? And so I sent him the address. And then three minutes later, he goes, my phone is acting weird. And I was like, it was literally a block directionally straight from where you just were. I'm standing outside. And he said, okay, now which building? There are a lot.

I'm like, I am on the street. Like standing on the street. You will see me. I got you, dude. I'm on the street. 15 minutes later, Crendor. He messaged me his phone number and he goes, call me, please.

And I literally just went to the app and was like not delivered insufficient service they refunded me everything and i was like i messaged the guy back and i said i just got a refund dude sorry but you suck at this and like left like just went back inside i have no soup i have no salad i'm so tired look i to be honest. The quality of person delivering food during the pandemic, I don't know what happened to them. They were on it. This, whatever this shit is, this like post-pandemic delivery, garbage. I've never, delivery apps suck so badly. And I got used to them because of COVID because I wouldn't have to go anywhere and I could be at the office working and like edit a thing. Now I'm back on old Jesse. I'm going to go to the grocery store and buy bread and meat and cheese now like the old days, pre-COVID like a normal person because I got caught up in all this because it was

convenient and easy. Nothing's convenient or easy about this anymore. This guy sucked. I've watched him deliver. He went past me to deliver the second to last one Why he picked me last I have no idea I've never been so upset. How did he and he couldn't even find you? Like a dude he was on the street that I am on I was standing literally in the road

There was no traffic. It was just me With my phone out, holding it up. And cars kept driving by. And it like, I don't know what, I don't know what he did. I don't know why he did it.

I don't, he's terrible. He's terrible at his job. I've never known anyone to be so truly incompetent at their, like that was, he's like,

he was doing fine. I think he just delivered my food to the wrong place and was like, whoops. I think he probably did too. Yeah. No, but anytime someone, they go,

Hey, my phone's just acting weird. That's already like a bad, a bad sign. Yeah. And that keep in mind, he said, my phone's acting weird.

And then said, here's my number. Call me. Your phone's acting weird, bro then said, here's my number, call me. Your phone's acting weird, bro. Why am I calling you? Yeah. Hey, my phone's, like, broken, so, like, call my phone. Yeah, there's no way I'm going to call this dude and have him, like, give me a sob story.

I was like, no, I'm done. I just straight went and refunded and was like, nah, I'm out. I can't. I just straight went and refunded. It was like, nah, I'm out. I can't. You suck. He was already 40 minutes late from the estimated arrival time. Oh, my God. I've never. And last time I was upset because some guy was like, sorry, your food's late. I just, I have not had a good experience.

Honestly, I think it's just the LA stuff. Like, mine's still all been fine. I think it's just the LA stuff. Mine's still all been fine. I guarantee it's LA. I don't like generalizations. I'm sure there are probably people listening right now who deliver food, and bless your sweet souls, but I'm going to say at least in LA, the quality of food

delivery driver has been dumbed down significantly. I'm just very mad that I I'm not going to have anything to eat today I'll probably have to go home and make toast That's all I have in my house right now That sucks I'm really upset I think you're just hangry

Oh yes no I'm full on I am rarely hangry but I'm there now Yeah I'm like this guy ruined my evening My evening was dependent on that. It was a green goddess salad too. Oh man, it was going to have fruits and veggies and it was going to be so good.

And I got a soup. It was like a tomato bisque. Come on, man. I was ready. I'm going to get none of that now. That was going to be a good soup. It was going to be a good soup, dude. I love soup. I'm a big soup fan. And I was denied my soup? Oh, I got no patience for that.

So yeah, so that's where I'm at mentally going into this podcast. So how are you? Well, that's good. I mean, I'm all right. I made it to 2023. Hell yeah. So that's good. Let's see.

I wrote down some stuff that's like from weeks ago what oh okay yes yes yes so because we haven't all right yeah yeah so a few weeks ago me and uh toast went on our anniversary dinner oh where'd you go uh we went to a fancy restaurant place good okay i love that that's very like i don't want people to know exactly where we went to a fancy restaurant place good okay i love that that's very like i don't want people to know exactly where we went yeah okay uh you know not like a linea but you know like this is good uh so we were getting you know we had wine had some food had some stuff it was great and then uh we went a little early it was like like 5.30, 5, 5.30. And so we got set, and then people started coming in from, like, after work and all that, you know, whatever.

And there's people getting in for the holidays, too. And so we're sitting. We're like, all right. It was pretty normal. And then this table next to us sat down, and it was these two women and this guy that looked like Florida May and Santa. Hell yes. Wait, hold on. Were they dates for this dude? Well,

I think one was his wife and the other one was their friend because Girlfriend? I think just her friend. Just let me have this fantasy of Santa with his like mrs claus then like the lady they brought along all right i'll let you have it thank you she came

in from florida because she was like florida's uh it's a lot hotter than this place right now i came in at a bad time i want to say they're in their 50s or 60s uh probably like late 50s i think uh and then you know they're talking to the waitress and she's just like ah this is crazy yeah blah blah and then the waitress like oh yeah i know people in florida and she's like i love florida but here's some things i wrote down that i overheard. Alright, first off, the man also had a Santa hat on. That's important. No, I'm here for the Santa. So he said, quote,

We talked to Sidney, and Sidney said to use the shut-off valve, but Kevin doesn't know shit. Why are you bothering me with this? Then he said, a few seconds later out louder, You own your condo! And then, a few seconds later, he says, well, my hot water isn't working. And I say, is the valve even working?

It's a solid question. Is the valve working? He wants to know. Not the best dinner conversation, but like it's on his mind. Then we have him say, this is probably like 10 minutes later. He says, kids were giving catch a hard time in the 80s. Are you kidding me, dude? Kids are giving what?

Catcha. It sounded like K-A-T-C-H-A. Catcha. Does he mean ketchup? He was like, kids were giving catcha. Kids were giving catcha? Yeah, he said, kids were giving catch catch a hard time in the 80s. Are you kidding me, dude?

That was the quote. I'm literally typing in catch a 80s. Catch a catch. I don't think it's a thing. It might have been too drunk at that point. It's possible, though. There is extreme makeover, boring 80s furniture flip. That is pretty cool.

And that's by a person named Katja. Maybe that's who he's talking about. Maybe. I don't know. And then he said, Idiot Comcast guys working up on the fourth floor. It's all mud. They're wiping their boots all over.

How can they be done? They got crap all over the ground oh is he mad they left after he after they like destroyed his his rug or whatever yeah they must have done something i feel this my apartment complex had to come and fix my refrigerator and right they pulled it out to do whatever they did to fix it scratched up all the wood flooring so that sucked and then just left it they didn't do anything to fix it, scratched up all the wood flooring. So that sucked. And they just left it. They didn't do anything to fix it.

So I had to call them up and be like, hello? And that took them two weeks to send a guy out. And they eventually fixed it. They came in and, like, did the whole thing. But come on now. Yeah. I mean, you know what? I get it.

I feel that. What I'm saying is I feel this guy about this one particular thing. Yeah. I mean, you know what? I feel that. What I'm saying is I feel this guy about this one particular thing. Yeah. So, you know, he wasn't like weird aside from the fact he's wearing Santa hat in a fancy restaurant. But, you know, I understood what he was saying. Like, I don't want someone wiping their muddy boots around. Yeah.

Was he like a meatball? How would you describe this man? He was a meatball. He was just like a he had like your dad, your dad's beard, you know, like white goate't think he was a meatball. He was just like a... He had like your dad's beard. You know, that like white goatee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, just like he had like normal hair. Was it my dad?

A little more like Hulk Hogan. Oh, no. But like, not like super buff, like modern Hulk Hogan. Of course. Like very old, withered Hulkulk hogan and then he had his santa hat on yes okay and then the the women there reminded me of like like i guarantee one sells like essential oils and the other one is probably like a fortune teller

like that was the vibes i got also would roll would roll with Santa to go out to dinner? Like give me the clothes. I'm trying to get a visual. Do they have any sort of like head accoutrement? Was there like any weird things on their heads besides the Santa hat? I feel like one of them did have like some jewelry or something in their hair, like beads or something. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I like this. I'd say it was like an 80% chance maybe my brain making it up but i'm pretty sure they're saying catch it in the 80s dog catch in the 80s we should just make a phrase like catch it in the 80s dog catch in the 80s it is what it is catch in the 80s um so It is what it is, catch your niggas.

So yeah, that happened. Oh yeah, you got sick. How was being sick? It was the first time I was sick in two and a half years. Wow, it wasn't COVID. Can't say I'm a fan of it. But it wasn't COVID. No, no, no.

It was literally just a runny nose and a cold. The problem is it happened. I'm pretty sure I got it at Gerard Khalil's Christmas party. But they had it like in an arcade and I played arcade games and I bet those sons of bitches didn't clean those cabinets. Those are germs galore.

Yeah, that's what got me. And so it was a fun party though. But yeah, like a few days later, the back of my throat started to tingle, but I'm still fine. And the next day, it started to get a little worse. And I was like, oh, no, not again. But I still felt fine.

And then Friday, so I guess that would have been the 23rd, I started to feel like sick, sick. And then, yeah, 24th and 25th Literally Christmas I was down I was I felt so It had that nasal pressure thing Where my face felt like it was going to pop open I was like

And so thankfully my mom showed up Rolled up like a hero Like a Christmas miracle With the most knock you out, like NyQuil fake night. I don't know what it was. Like definitely not over the counter. I don't know what she rolled up and she's like, here you go. Save my life. I was done.

Drank that all weekend. Slept. I think I slept more over that weekend than i had in like four weeks i was i think i was awake two three hours a day oh my god that i slept through it yeah i was like no i'm going down and then uh on oh i don't know maybe i'll say maybe Monday, Tuesday. I had that like weird residual, even Wednesday and Thursday a little bit. That like post cold cough. Oh, yeah. Where my nose was still like trying to figure itself out.

My lungs were like, bro, help me. And yeah. And then I was fine. And so it's good. And I celebrated Christmas with my parents days later. So we had like Christmas on the 28th or 29th. Yeah. It's crazy.

That is a fun holiday adventure right there. It sucked. I forgot kind of like what being sick was like for a minute. Yeah. Once I was back in it, I was back in it. But for a while, I was like, what's this weird scratch in the back of my throat? What's that about? I just went about my day doing my job, like, you know, didn't even think about it.

And I was like, man, I should have been drinking tons of vitamin C stuff. Vitamin C doesn't actually do that much. Oh, I know. I know. But it's like one of those things where I'm just like, throw everything at it. Yeah. You know what I mean? When I was sick, I ordered a pho, but I didn't eat all of it.

I just drank the soup. You know, like that kind of stuff. Yeah. I'll just get real crazy with it. Pretty much. Let's see. did we look into vitamin c I feel like we did before I mean I'm sure we have I know that a lot of time you take way too much vitamin c yeah your body just doesn't your body like pees out 90 of it well uh it's it'll pee out vitamins that aren't fat soluble so that's like like B12 vitamins, like the B vitamins. I don't remember if vitamin C is a fat.

I don't think it is. I'm about to type in, do you pee out vitamin C and I'm not okay with it? Or vitamin, as I'm sure our British fans would love. Water soluble vitamins are vitamin C and all the B vitamins. So yeah, you just pee it out yeah so the reason why i say that is because most people um have way too much like just in your normal diet you already have way too much vitamin c at least here in the states yeah but i like to bombard myself with uh like high vitamin drinks like um when i first realized i was sick i went to this place and

got like one of those like mega super healthy smoothies there's like a green f you up smoothie and i was like let's go no it's it's always not fun having a cold being sick and just being like especially when it makes you like not being able to work or like sore throats and stuff. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it wasn't like I was down and out. It was just like, oh, I can't talk because my throat hurts. And I sound like, hello. So I couldn't do anything. And I stayed at home and I would just take this medicine my mom got. And it would knock me out so quick that I'd wake up like eight hours later and be like,

Screw it. I'm taking more of that. And I was like, I'm going to sleep through this cold. That was my plan. I found. It worked. This says there is a study that vitamin C supplements may reduce the duration of a cold by about 8% possible. Yo, I'll take 8 whole percent.

8%? You know what, that's almost 10. It may work. It may also do nothing. I mean, it may. So, you know. I mean, I guess at the end of the day, it's not going to hurt anything.

Remember those, like, oh man what they call like the cold somethings and they kept hyping up the fact like i think that's just zinc it's like cold yeah literally it's just zinc yeah yeah uh zinc is another one that's not really proven but it's kind of the same where i think they're like it might reduce the duration if you take it within 24 hours or something. Or cold. Let's see. Zinc. Oh, here you go, man.

Let's find a recent one. Uh-oh, here we go. We're studying. Study, boys. Zinc gets lukewarm response for fighting colds. According to Harvard Health. It didn't really do anything. I remember that I had a cold once and was like,

yeah, but take these and they'll help me. And I think it was still just as bad as every other cold. I was like, what? I was doing sucking on these damn things the entire time. It did nothing. I think what it boils down to it, it really just is you get sick and you just need to drink fluids and sleep.

And that's really it. Absolutely. That's absolutely how you defeat that thing it's not even it's not that it's not rocket science yes there are like big terrible sicknesses but a cold like a common cold yeah just do the same things people did like 50 years ago yeah and you just the only things that help are things that like numb the symptoms like absolutely yeah stuff yeah all those things that whole uh uh thing my mom gave me is straight up just like it dries you out to the point where your nose doesn't run anymore and your throat's super dry and you're like well i don't have the symptoms

and then it knocks you out makes you sleep yeah that's it it does it doesn't really cure anything. Yeah. I'm surprised I fought off the sicknesses because Toastwoman's mom came here for Christmas, so she stayed with us for a week. And she was like, all right, let's go places. Let's go shop at the mall. Let's go here. I was like, oh, God, I'm going to get sick.

So we went to the mall twice. We went to a bunch of bunch of like Kohl's. There were people in Kohl's like. I was like, all right, I couldn't do that. I was walking down one aisle. Someone was just like, I like turn around. I was like, nope, not going down there. But one thing I have learned from the past years is I,

I like go out of my way to not touch my face now I used to be like oh you know I got an itch here like spread now I'm like my eye itches too bad I'll just I'm just like not touching it and I like wash my hands and that's the only time I like touch my face is after I've washed my hands and honestly that probably helps quite a bit uh and so i was doing good uh you know i had christmas i saw both families i was like all right and then i want to say maybe the day i think the day after christmas or the day after after christmas whichever uh i started getting the like the throat tickle you know like you said and i was like oh boy throat tickle coming in so i like i was like you know what tonight i'm just gonna sleep and i'm just gonna take it easy do all that so i did you know

i did i did some walking you know cardio and then i got a lot of sleep and then i did i got a little i got a little like sinus type of stuff you know but nothing bad. I had the kind of thick sinus snot, and then I still had a little throat tickle, and then after another day or two, it went away. So I was like, all right, good job, body. We did it. Man, I'm jealous. You recognized the signs immediately and were like, sleep? I was like, for two days, man days man what's wrong my throat i guess

i'll record 18 hours of video oh my god i'm so dumb yeah no you just as soon as i get that i'm like we're i'm sleeping i'm just i'm taking whatever i need to sleep or if i just don't if i can't fall asleep i'm like i'm taking my drugs to fall asleep. Give me the NyQuil or something. I don't know, Z-Quil. But I've been pretty good at falling asleep lately. I limit my caffeine. I cut it off at usually like 6 or 7 p.m. I cut off the caffeine. That's my thing.

Yeah, I'm on the same boat. I'm not a big, like, I'll do caffeine in the morning now. But if I need a, like, I'm on the same boat I'm not a big, like, I'll do caffeine in the morning now But like, if I need a I'm still fat, so if I need a soda It's like a Canada dry, you know Like I got I got a six pack of these Canada cranberry ginger ale Things, love a good cranberry ginger

It's holiday time, love a good cranberry ginger ale So I'll like drink that If I need a soda in the day. But, yeah, usually it's just water. I'm like, I go through tons of water. I'm a water boy. Water boy. Water boy.

That is, that's, man. I mean, there are some people, they don't like water, but, like, I love water. I don't know why. I think maybe just because it tastes like nothing. It freaks people out. I don't know. Everyone keeps telling me that room temperature water is where it's at. My water has to be from the Arctic.

I want my water as cold as if I shook it, it'd become ice. I want that. I love my water as cold as if I shook it, it'd become ice. I want that. I love cold water. I want it to, like, freeze my brain. Oh, it's so good. It's so, I'm like. It depends. Like, if it's too cold for me, it can irritate my digestive system or my teeth.

So I don't like that. And then you have to, your body has to warm it up. So it takes more energy, actually. Yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Give me energy. So I, too, like my room temperature water. No, no, no.

That's for suckers. You got to get that. You got to eat that Antarctic ice like they drilled down 200 million years in the past and pulled the cold water out. That's what I want. I want that. that water's been chilled for two million years sign me up i uh oh my god that's what i was gonna say so when toaster woman's mom was here we were she's like i got old mtv shows we can watch

and wait what why so starting i think it was like a few years ago i mentioned i was like what was that old tv shows on mtv is the nick and jessica one right and she was like i got all those on dvd because she used to watch them back like 20 years ago or whenever they were so i was like yo we should watch that so a few years ago she brought it up and we watched like the first two seasons. And then last year, we watched the next two seasons. And then she was like,

well, this year, I got the final season. I was like, all right. I love it. I love watching old shitty MTV reality show. Is that the one where she was like,

the chicken and tuna? Yeah. Buffaloes don't have wings or whatever she said. Yeah. She's like, buffaloes don't have wings. She's like, she's like buffaloes don't she's like it's chicken it's not buffalo wing there she's like oh geez um yeah it's that and then when they when

you watch the dvd there's like oh also watch carmen electra and dave navarro because they got married and she was like i'm gonna try to find that for next year she said that last year so she found it for like ten dollars on ebay and i was like all right'm going to try to find that for next year. She said that last year. So she found it for like $10 on eBay. And I was like, all right, let's watch it. It was terrible. It was so bad. If you want to suffer, let me follow up with, you need to get her to find the Tila Tequila show that they had.

Oh, my God. I forgot about that. Now that would be amazing. It was just great because we watched it and we were just you know kind of commenting like oh what is going on like what are they talking and then like by the end of it it ended and her mom just goes well that sucked yeah i believe that yeah it was just oh my god like the whole show's leading up to their wedding and then they to their wedding. And then they have their wedding, and it is the dumbest wedding I think I've seen. They have a shaman, a bird, some weird ass...

They have so many weird things going on, and they're like, by the air, water, and fire elementals, I grant you marriage. Oh, Avatar. Oh, they're having an avatar they like an avatar wedding yeah i grant you the power of marriage and the bird keeps going like and they're like that bird keeps going crazy and then it was it was a weird wedding and then the whole show they didn't even like do anything fun they're just like oh man we're planning the wedding i can't wait but then they would keep making just like weird suggestive things constantly they're just like

yeah we're getting married because i got a big dick and she's like yeah he does and it was just like what like they would just say stuff like that that was like the whole show and i was like they didn't have any like fun moments like the other where she's just like there's chicken tuna or whatever and you're like no they had none of that but other where she's just like, is this chicken tuna or whatever? And you're like, no. They had none of that. But I think it's because that show was after they got married. So it was more of them just living while this one was going up to our wedding.

So that show sucked. Don't watch it. But then we watched the last season of The Nick and Jessica. And you could tell by that point they hated each other. Sure. They're just fighting. She's like, I'm doing this. And he's like, you always do this. fighting she's like i'm doing this and he's like you always do this and she's like well i'm doing it anyway it was like that type of thing but i love that it was fun yeah i have to imagine that nick and jessica as a show

is funnier because there's like an innocence to her stupidity yeah well the common electra one is just them hamming it up for cash like i don't i haven't grown up during that time period aside from common electra being beautiful i know nothing else about her as a person like she did nothing there was nothing she did in that space of media and hollywood that wasn't just her showing up, being beautiful, and that was it. So having a show about her... She just slept with Dennis Rodman. Yeah. A show about her makes no sense because

she doesn't do anything. She doesn't bring anything to the table. Jessica Simpson had I'm just a country girl who don't know nothing. And there was something sweet about it. Yeah. There's a difference between an episode where someone says I'm just a country girl who don't know nothing. And there was something sweet about it. Yeah. Right? And, yeah, there's a difference between, like, an episode where someone says,

So you're telling me Buffalo don't have wings? Compared to, like, he's got a huge dick. You know, like, there's a difference. Yeah. It was, like, you're just like, okay. And then they just keep, like, reiterating it. Or then Dave Navarro's like, yeah, we banged in this room. Then we banged in that room. And I'm like, all right, we get it.

Like, you bang. And I was like, all right, what else do you guys do? And they're like, that's it? I'm like, oh, okay. Well, that's a show. And she's just normal. She's just like, yeah, you know, it's my life, and here we are. And she doesn't drink.

She just keeps drinking Coca-Cola. And they're like, you love your Coca-Cola? And she's like, I do. And then he's just like, yo, I'm rocking out, traveling around. And now I'm back from traveling around. I thought it was going to be some crazy rock and roll. Because she was with, what do you call it? Like a Playboy model, right?

I don't know. I mean, I assume she probably was in Playboy at some point. I think she was, because I feel like they mentioned it. And I think I saw Hugh Hefner in there. So I'm pretty sure. Was Carmen Electra? Every time I hear Carmen Electra, I think of Carmen Sandiego. Carmen Electra in... Yes, she was.

From model to reality TV star. There you go. No. No. What? I hate this. What? I hate this. What? There was a show on MTV that I looked up Common Electra MTV.

There was a show. This is insane. I can't believe they did this stuff. There is a link to it on YouTube. I sent it to Crendor, but you listening right now can look it up yourself. Dr. Franklin Rose, MTV's I Want a Famous Face, Carmen Electra. It is about a young woman who is having, I assume, breast implants and nose job and lip injections to become like Carmen Electra. It's like her and her boyfriend.

Yeah, it's so exciting. Oh my God. I think I remember this show. I think I remember seeing advertisements for it. This is admittedly a terrible, terrible idea, especially as like a thing to put out to young women. Like this is bad. This is so crazy and then the next one down is date my mom which was another show i guess i remember that one

yeah i would go as far to say that a lot of those weren't even the actual moms it was just paid actor well i need you to know i might have mentioned this on the show before, but you are absolutely correct because they used to have a show where it was I don't know what it was called, but the premise was a man or woman would go on a date with a new

person while their current boyfriend or girlfriend would watch with the parents in a room. Yeah. And the whole thing was like, is this new guy better than the old guy? Like that kind of thing. And it was one of those things where the parents hated

the guy or whatever. I know that's all BS because one of the guys who is works for Gerard was on that show as the current boyfriend with the parents and he was like it was all fake I was just like I had to be like I can't believe she's doing this yeah and the best part is is they somewhere on a DVR or like a TiVo they have that episode saved and they'll never delete it. That is fantastic.

Yeah. It's all fake. It's all fake. Of course it's fake. Yeah. I cannot. I for one cannot believe that reality television would be fake. There's just no way.

Are you telling me it's all set up? That's so crazy. Yeah. So that's why even seeing like a lot of those shows, they're just like, you can tell the moments that are set up like you can tell there's like nothing going on and they're like what if you just go do some of these things and we film you and they're like

okay but still it's just it's fun to watch shitty old television or new television for that matter this is oh my god this is the description of A Shot at Love, the Tila Tequila show. Here we go.

This is why everyone needs to watch this, because it's insane. Dipping into the cultural wasteland that is MTV of the 21st century, the show capitalized off internet sensation Tila Tequila, and gave the crazy woman seriously crazy, she really is crazy, her own show. Where various people would vie for her affection, imagine The Bachelor or The Bachelorette with all the rules off. Tila, you see, was, is bisexual, so the MTV cast had the hottest hotties they could find possibly to woo her.

Were some of the women simply there for publicity? Of course. They had no interest in Tila, and after the show, it seemed the world didn't either. This is one of those forgotten shows that serves as another MTV bomb. For those wondering what Tila is up to, last time she really made headlines

was as a Nazi and claiming the Illuminati killed Paul Walker. There you go. That's what happened to her. Well, now we know. Now we know. And I just want to say, if you've never seen that show,

it is genuinely one of the worst things that ever existed. Just truly terrible. Just a terrible, terrible show. Teela Tequila Is If you look her up now she's gonna be her in like a Nazi Uniform like swastikas And shit and like her

And like QAnon conspiracy show Oh yeah she's cuckoo bananas Tila Tequila Is How old is she? I hate that when you look her up it says American TV personality. Like, I don't... I don't know about all that.

What the shit? I don't... How do I remove Tequila from my search history? Too late now. Too late now. You've ruined it, my man. Well, cool.

Great start to 2023. That's right. And that, this is the segue, is why it's a great time to talk about Mint Mobile. Because Mint Mobile is here to save you some money on your cell phone bill. Look, I know

the holidays are over. We're kind of in that, like, don't want to spend a lot of cash slump. But with Mint Mobile, that's the whole point. You don't have to spend a lot of cash. When you switch to Mint Mobile and buy any three-month plan, you'll get another three months for free. My good friend Ryan Reynolds told me that himself. I heard it.

As the first company to sell premium wireless services online only, Mint Mobile lets you order and activate your SIM card from home while saving tons on phone plans because it starts at just $15 a month. It's the easiest, and let's be real, best and cheapest way to get a new mobile plan for your phone, starting at just $15 a month. And for a limited time, buy any three-month plan, you get three more months for free. Starting at just 15 bucks a month. And for a limited time, buy any three month plan, you get three more months for free. It's totally online, like I said, they'll send you the SIM card and then bing bang boom,

you're good to go. 5G network, you're fine. The best part is, like I said, you can use your current phone and just switch the SIM card. If you need a new device, they got that. You can get six months free when you get a new device and a plan. And this deal arrived at the right time for me because I have had the same phone number for ever, it seems. At least 15 years.

But I moved from the East Coast. So I still have an East Coast number. And I still get harassing calls from Ohio about, you know, like, the federal government. You know, all those scam calls. And I've wanted to switch my phone number, but here's the thing. If I do, I have untold double authentication for things I don't even remember that one day I might need. And I'm like, oh, no. But thankfully, I still have my old busted phone.

The phone that I love, my iPhone 11, the one that was cracked. Put the Mint Mobile SIM card in there. I'm slowly, like, filtering through stuff, trying to figure out, and then one day I'll be free from this old number and it was affordable enough through Mint for me to do this. I know it's a very special, you know, Jesse only kind of thing, but man, am I thrilled to be able to have

something like Mint there for me. So like I was saying, for a limited time, buy any three month Mint Mobile plan and get three more months for free. All you gotta do is go to mintmobile.com slash cox. That's M-I-N-T-M-O-B-I-L-E

dot com slash cox to cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month. Again, mintmobile.com slash cox. Also today we're brought to you by Factor. Factor is here. You know, the hustle and bustle of the holidays. It's winding down. You're like done with it. You know, the hustle and bustle of the holidays. It's winding down.

You're like done with it. You know, you probably cooked. You probably made all these meals for your family. What if he just had something for you? Ignore the hustle. Ignore the bustle. Don't go out no more. You know what? Factor will bring the food to you. They shop. They prep. They cook. They deliver it all to your door

so you can enjoy chef-crafted, dietitian-approved meals during the holidays, minus the hassle. Plus, they got 34 meals a week, including gourmet plus, keto, calorie smart, vegan and veggie, and 36 weekly add-ons. I've ordered from Factor. My parents have ordered from Factor. Two minutes in, out. It tastes great, and it's good for you. Factor is cheaper than dining out or take out put the money saved towards post-holiday you time and thanks to factors

commitment to ingredients with integrity you can enjoy the flavor and the guilt freeness of like creamy parmesan chicken or three bean vegan chili if you need something a little extra, they got that for you too. They have all these bonuses you can add on from breakfast things to sweet treats to drinks to all sorts of different things. Not only is Factor fast and simple, it's just like good, y'all.

It really is. If you want to give it a shot right now, go to gogeo.factor75.com slash cox60, that's cox60, and use code cox60 to get 60% off your first box. That's right, just use code cox60 at go.factor75.com slash cox60 and get that 60% off. Alright, traffic is actually improving because now all the holidays are over

and everyone's going back to normal. Traffic actually calming down around everywhere. Look at that. I mean, that's all I got. That's the traffic. Calm out there, man. Good traffic report. Yeah.

All right. Let's go to weather. Weather. Wherever we go, I'm not looking at the food today. I can't do it. Can't do it. Good point. Whatever you choose, I'm going to let you know.

I'm sorry to the audience member who submitted it. I can't look at your lovely town. We have a weather request for the Niles District in Fremont, California. It is the local neighborhood in my town that's touted as the original Hollywood because Charlie Chaplin and a few other silent films were shot there before the film industry centralized to Southern California. It's mostly populated by antique stores and old people. Perfect. You know what? Perfect.

There we go. That's a good one for your hungry day. Whoa, whoa, whoa. In Fremont, California? Yeah. Amazing. That's near San Jose. That's like up near San Francisco.

I didn't know that. I thought that was like maybe north of L.A. maybe. But no, that's way north of L.A. Okay. Yeah, I didn't know that. Well, in Fremont, California, it is 48 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 59 with a low of 41 at night. We have a 58% on the humidity, 29.9 inches of pressure,

10 miles of visibility, wind 6 miles an hour, dew point 34, UV index 0 of 10, and a waxing gibbous moon. Sun, 722 sunrise, 5 p.m. sunset. Take a look at the 10 day. We got rain on Monday, 52 degrees, followed by Tuesday, 58, mostly cloudy.

Wednesday, 61 with rain. Thursday, 57 rain. Friday, 61, partly cloudy. Saturday, 58 rain. Sunday, 58 rain. Monday, 59 rain. Tuesday, 58 rain. And a lot of 50s and rain, which is actually some of my favorite weather.

I wish it was 50s and rain all the time. It was 50s and rain, which is actually some of my favorite weather. I wish it was 50s and rain all the time. It was 50s and rain here all through Christmas, even last New Year's. Last New Year's. It's technically true. I mean, yeah. Even for New Year's Eve, it was raining. It was pouring down rain for New Year's Eve. I'm going to move quickly past that, Credor.

We're not going to talk about how I'm speaking like a crazy person. Move past it! Let's see. Any crazy stuff here? Fremont? They do have the Niles Esane Silent Film Museum, which is kind of interesting. Looking at that, they have a little

theater in there that looks like a really tiny high school auditorium. It does, they have like a little theater in there that looks like a, I don't know, like a really tiny high school auditorium. Yeah, it does kind of look like a mini antique Hollywood in a way. Yeah, they have the train depot, the devil's workshop discount store, which is all sorts of, yeah, everything. If you look at the street view, it looks like old-timey. You're driving through like, you know, a city that has like one road kind of vibe, except it's in San Jose. Yeah, that is cool. Also, I know you said no food, but there's a Bronco Billy's Pizza Palace.

God damn it. Which, yeah, I got to point out for the name alone. I like Paula's Grand Teaks. Big fan. God damn it. Which, yeah, I got to point out for the name alone. Bronco Billy. I like Paula's Grandtiques. Big fan. Ooh. Oh, yeah. A lot of these places are like Niles Antique Fair.

Memory Lane. Lost in the Attic. Manteaks. Manteaks. What are Manteaks? Manteaks. Oh, Manteaks are literally old toys Oh, I didn't know that

By old toys I mean Out of the box Wreck-It Ralph figures I guess Now that's a manteak I thought you meant like that's an actual term For them or is that just like what they sell That's what the store's called But also this guy right here might be

A thing I'd buy Uh Oh my god So that's what the store is called. But also this guy right here might be a thing I'd buy Oh My god, then the Goblin right behind. I love this but also I'm upset because they have um Like Star Wars in the box figures, you know, like how back in the day I thought those things would be expensive, but they clearly aren't yep the Beanie Baby Yeah, they got all that. Basically, it's like the stuff that 25 years ago we all thought was going to be valuable.

Yeah. Manteeks and Niles. But I'm also here for... I can't look at it. There's a place called the Ambrose Butchery, which I know is probably amazing, but... Ah, yeah. I can't look at that.

I'm more excited about a place called Not Just Quilts with a Z What else is there not just quilts? I'm looking at right now, and it seems to be mostly quilts. Oh Yeah, I see that not just quilts it does look like quilts a lot of quilts. There's some like little paper Thing designs for quilts. Oh, yes, those are just quilt designs, so yeah, it's not of quilts. There's some little paper things. Designs for quilts. I guess those are just quilt designs. It's not just quilts. It's things for

quilts, I guess. About six or seven photos down, they have necklaces. One necklace says maybe swearing will help. There's that. I don't get why you would choose that name.

It's not just quilts with a Z. Probably because there is the not just quilts with an S that exists. And they were like, we got to have the Z. Unless the Z is what's, get it? It's not just quilts with a Z because we don't have quilts with a Z. Why don't they just call themselves like quilts and more? I don't know. Great, great question.

Good, solid. Yo, now this is a place. Damn it, I screwed up, but I don't care. All right. Joe's Corner is a restaurant, but the seats are outside on the street. Oh. Do you see this place? I don't see it. Oh, wait, there it is. It's like a bar, but the bar is on the street. Do you see this place? I don't see it.

It's like a bar, but the bar is on the sidewalk. Love it. Big fan. All the food looks like good tapas stuff, but Joe's Corner, it's like an old deli, but it's clearly not. Oh yeah, that looks great. You got

sandwiches. It looks great, yeah. It looks super small and really inviting. Absolutely here for stuff like this. This does seem like if you and your wife were going to go antiquing one day, this would be the spot. Up and down the street, go get a sandwich, get a beer, sit outside, go look at the antiques. Mantiques? Oh, maybe it's like for you chad see like that does seem like it yeah 100 um that's the weather all right let's go sports sports sports time welcome to the sports desk we sports. First thing we got is football.

Big time football scores today. A lot of football. First we had Cowboys Titans on Thursday with the Cowboys winning. We had the Chargers beat the Rams. We had the Packers beat the Vikings. The Seahawks beat the Jets. The 49ers beat the Raiders. Jagu Packers beat the Vikings. The Seahawks beat the Jets. The 49ers beat the Raiders. Jaguars

beat the Texans. Browns beat the Commanders. The Buccaneers beat the Panthers. The Saints beat the Eagles. Giants beat the Colts. Patriots beat the Dolphins. Chiefs beat the Broncos. Lions beat the Bears. Falcons beat the Cardinals. And the Ravens are currently beating the Steelers with eight minutes to go.

We'll see how that one plays out. Oof. Not good for them. And I'm happy with the Packers. Now they just got to win one more game and they're in the playoff. They've done it. They've ran the table. And hopefully they continue to run it.

Then over in basketball, we got the Celtics in first with the Nets right behind. Then the Bucks, the Cavs, the 76ers, and the Pacers. Then we have the Nuggets in first in the West with the Grizzlies right behind and the Pelicans. Then the Mavericks, the Clippers, and the Kings. And in hockey, we got the Bruins in first, the Hurricane in first, the Dallas Stars in first, and the Vegas Golden Knights in first.

And baseball is going to be starting up in a couple months. Yeah, I was about to say, January's baseball is starting up. I'm very excited. Before you know it, I was about to say, January's baseball starting up. Very excited. Before you know it, there's the spring train. Sports. You're right.

Oh, God, you're right. Oof. Well, you know, excited for the 15 months of baseball coming up. Very excited. Woo! Sports. All excited. Sports. All right. What is our fact of the day?

Fact of the day. Day. Day. This is an interesting fact. Children are born less frequently on Saturdays. I wonder why that is.

Yeah. Among all the days in the week, most children in the world are born on a Thursday. Babies born on weekends in December is also the least common. Crazy. Well, that, I think, checks out more. Well, yeah, that checks out more. Because I would imagine less children are born in December because less people are stuck inside banging in the spring.

You know what I mean? That is true, yeah. They're out doing stuff. They're busy. They got less time for that. Yeah. It seems like it would be what's what's the most popular month isn't it like october or november it's usually either the end of spring or the beginning of fall yeah that's what i thought it's it's always based around like it's cold what are we gonna do I guess we could have sex. All right.

Yeah. That's really what it is. It is. So it's like, what, Valentine's Day is, like, middle of February. And that was eight months. So you have February, March, April, May, June, July, August, October. So you got, like, middle of October. There you go.

So you got Valentine's Day in the cold. And then in the winter, you're having sex sex and then you're having an April May baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That does check out. Yeah. Yeah.

But why is that? You always got to think about that nine month like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. The nine months. I thought it was eight. I guess it's nine. Eight, nine.

I mean, you know, some people have an eight. That's true. So technically you're not wrong. Yeah. Uh, the also he'll throw this one in. So technically you're not wrong. Yeah. Also, he'll throw this one in. Male bees can only mate once. Wait, what?

Is it stinger related? Maybe. After mating with a female, the male bee's endophilus is removed. Its abdomen rips open and results in the male bee's death. Yeah, that sounds right. Oh My god, that sounds good. Okay, man Your abdomen just rips open and you die. Well You know I had a good run Go forth my kids

There's your facts of the day. That's messed up. All right. Well, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Day, day, day, day. So we have, let's see. So this new story is from July, but I'm surprised we didn't cover it because it's in, it's a,

it's a story. Okay. Uh, Florida man tried to enter space force base, warn of us aliens versus Chinese dragons fight. of US aliens vs. Chinese dragons fight. I almost choked. You know what? It was going one way,

and then we went another way, and it almost killed me. I swallowed. I caught my own breath. I don't even know what... Oh my god, what? I was like, yeah, alright. crazy person goes to warn of aliens i get it you're like and chinese dragons here we go is that even that long of a story apparently we didn't get many investigations here i'm pretty sure he didn't get far i'm pretty sure he got to

the gate and they were like go home maybe florida man was arrested after stealing vehicle to enter a Space Force base and warned the government there were aliens fighting dragons. On Friday, 29-year-old Corey Allen Johnson was arrested for grand theft. Corey was arrested. He told Brevard County deputies he stole the 2013 Ford F-150 three days before and did not know who the owner was. Quote, He stated the President of the United States told him in his head

he needed to take the vehicle. Joe? Joe did that? Probably with those sunglasses on. He drove the vehicle to the Patrick Air Force Base where he attempted to get on the base because he was told by the president he needed to tell the government there were U.S. aliens fighting with Chinese dragons. Great. I mean, like, it is a good point. The president tells you to do that.

It's true. But counterpoint. Couldn't the president just tell them himself? Yes. He is the commander in chief. He is the head of the military. Yes, that would make more sense. Who told him that?

Was it his own military that did that? I don't know. It was just the president told him. This is like, look, I can't say this. I'd seem crazy. So I'm going to need you to do it, my man. So steal a car and drive over there. Deputy said the vehicle was reported stolen out of Rivera Beach.

Johnson was arrested and booked into Brevard County Jail. All that? You know what? If aliens were going to do anything, it'd be fight Chinese dragons. He also said that's why these were united states aliens well yeah because aliens yeah the aliens made a treaty with us in the 40s and yeah they're on our side and the chinese have the dragons i mean everyone knows that i've seen song chi i know how that works and so they have the dragons I mean everyone knows that I've seen Song Shi I know how that works

And so they have the dragons And yeah So we send our aliens To fight the dragons And yeah It's an epic Tales of all time Epic battle

Can you imagine one day You just like look up at the sky And there's just aliens Fighting dragons That would make the world Way more interesting Dangerous Way more dangerous

But honestly I feel like it would unite people a little bit more. Yeah. But a lot less like fighting for no reason when you look up and there's aliens fighting dragons. You're like, should we do something about that? Like, I don't know, bro. I don't think we can do

anything. You just gotta let it happen. Yeah, those are aliens and dragons, my dude. I don't think we do anything. I'm gonna go get a coffee and like a crawler down the street. Cause I don't know, what am I gonna do? I gotta be at work in 15 minutes. All I know is

there needs to be a movie with Nick Cage called Aliens Fighting Chinese Dragons. I'm pretty sure he's already been there and made that at some point. It does feel like he's already done it but i'm pretty sure that one movie with him and nate and christiansen that they're like yeah that's pretty close that man pet himself with a snake in that movie oh yeah and he forgot his wife's name

made no sense that's true he did he did and i remember because i was like he forgot his wife's name and then you were like well i don't think he ever said it and then i like checked and he Made no sense. That's true, he did. He did. And I remember because I was like, he forgot his wife's name. And then you were like, well, I don't think he ever said it. And then I, like, checked, and he did indeed say his wife's name. But then he just forgot it. Yeah, but then he decided to call her woman from now on. You know what? It was too much.

And she was like, God damn woman. Man, that was a movie. That was a movie. That was an amazing film. And this was a news story all right that's it thank you so much crendor hit him with the things that we do socials that's the word this man is not eating food all day dude i'm apart. Check us out on YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. That's all one word.

Type it in. You can subscribe. Hit the bell. Be notified when we upload these. Also, like, comment, subscribe. Do all that stuff. Comment a weather location. It might get put on to this show.

Also, go to YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor without the podcast part at the end. That's where all the animations are. Very funny. Ha ha. Also, go to to youtube.com. So that's Jesse Cox, youtube.com. So there's Crendor Twitter, Jesse Cox, Twitter, Crendor, Facebook, Jesse Cox, Facebook, Crendor, Twitch TV, Jessica, Twitch TV, Crendor, Patreon, Jessica, Patreon, Crendor, YouTube Cox clips, YouTube Cren clips, YouTube, uh, Warhammer Crendor, uh, Jessica Cox, TikToks, uh, Crendor, Jessica's TikToks, Crendor TikTok. That's all I got.

All right. Well, that's it. We'll see you next time. And as always, to be continued.