Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 379 - Jumpin on the Bed

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

After a long St. Patty's day weekend, the boys stumble into the podcast booth to chat about the week and more importantly people watching. Oh it was a good week to watch. Also Jesse discovers he may be terrible at streaming, while Crendor learns that people have game tastes - and some of those tastes are self punishment. All this and using a third person to jump on the bed in order to out maneuver Jesus on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://hellofresh.com/cox60 and use code cox60 for 60% off plus free shipping! Go to http://auraframes.com and use code COX to get free shipping at checkout.

Today's episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is going to get you them good foods. Also, today we're brought to you by Aura Frames. If you're looking to hang a photo of you, why not hang several? We'll talk about that later as well. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Gags and Crandall in the morning. Hey. Oh.

Hey. Oh. I just like swung at the air when I did that, by the way. I could tell. It seemed very physical. You had a physicality in your voice. Yeah. Also, I changed up my chair.

I'm trying one of these kneeling chairs. So are you kneeling right now? Kind of. What does right now? Kind of. What is, whoa, what does that mean? Kind of. You're like, you're kneeling elevated. So that makes sense. So you're like sitting, your butt's on a thing,

but you're slanted down towards the ground, and then your knees are in the knee pad thing. Yes. I think I've seen these before. Yeah, I think I know what it is. Yeah, it's, I'm trying it out for, you know, the old posture. There, there you go. That's a picture, right?

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Here's the thing. In continuing with our trend of me not being able to visualize anything in my head, what I described to you, I wasn't picturing. I just was like, well, I know what it looks like. Yeah. So when you sent me that image, I was like, that's exactly what I was saying. Yeah.

Yeah. No, it's, I mean, so far, I like it. Because it's encouraging me to kind of like keep moving around. That's the whole thing. Right? You're not like slouched forward. And if you are, you kind of feel like obligated. Like, oh, I got to pull back.

Right? It's, I think it's pretty good. Yeah. I mean like alright I don't it's like whatever listen alright my neck's been better I'm just trying to keep it going

alright if it works for you it works for you man yeah luckily my vagus nerve is fine again or whatever it is. So I'm trying not to jinx it. Yeah, don't jinx it.

Yeah, knock on fake wood. And, you know, that's been good. I really didn't do much this week. Really? Oh, my man. Heartbreak. Because I did a lot. This is one of those weeks where a lot happened to me, but none of it's like great.

Just a lot happened. And it's just, I think I'm just an old codger now. Is it possible I've become? So a great example is this week. It was St. Paddy's Day. And here in LA, because I live in a touristy section. Very touristy. For some reason, don't know why, St. Patrick's Day was that thing. But there's also a bar near my office.

So I had it in my mind. You know what? What if I went out for St. Patrick's Day? That could be fun. So I was getting ready to leave the office and head home. Maybe change into something green. Maybe go out and do something fun. Instead, I drove past the bar and was almost like

t-boned or like side swiped by three drunk girls in green outfits in a pickup truck and I was like nah I'm alright I'm gonna stay home I was like nah I'm okay they came out of nowhere and they were trying to like find

parking and almost slammed into me And all three were on phones at the time Could have been those same girls from the Like a month ago For that Uber driver Uber driver's like You know what you drive and then they started driving Yeah no they were

Oof If you can just imagine every loud drunk girl at every party all put together into three girls in one pickup truck, that would be it. Like the Exodia of St. Patrick's Day drunk girl. Yes, you need all the cards, but when you get them, you're done.

Yeah, and of course, because... This is how I is how i knew i was like no i'm going home i'm done so they all these girls almost hit me when i slam on the brakes because i thought they were gonna slam into me they slam on their brakes and you know kind of fly forward and one of the girls like hits her head and then all the girls look at me and then start crying just bawling and like like freaking out and one girl sticks her out the window is like we're sorry we're so sorry it's like you didn't hit me we're fine we're fine are you okay and they're obviously drunk oh yeah and they're just like i was like yeah okay so i just like drove away I was like nah nah I got time for this um so what did you do on St. Patrick's Day nothing I went home

I went home I think I watched tv and then went to bed at like 10 yeah I think I worked out a little bit and that was it that sounds about right yeah that's what i did instead speaking of which we did do stuff this week because we did go to a bar on saint patrick's day it wasn't like a bar bar it was like a it was like one of those it's like a part restaurant part bar and they had like a bar and grill well they had like a band playing too and then uh so they were doing a bunch of like irish music but then after that then they started just playing like normal music i was like i don't want normal music you have 25 minutes of irish music and the rest it's all 1980s classics and then in a classic fashion me and toaster woman got a table like in the corner

away from like everything so that we could just like look out at everyone but like didn't have it not be too loud like just loud enough that's the that's what you gotta do you gotta get the corner tables hell yeah that's why that way you can see everyone coming in, exiting, all the happenings. Oh, yeah. It was great. So then we were just watching people. It is watching people on St. Patrick's Day with a band and just they're wasted. It's just it's a great time. And we were watching March Madness happening. But there was this one woman who like she had on, you know, those like giant New Year's Eve glasses? Yes.

She had on those but they were like shamrocks. Yes. Well of course. And then she had on a headband that was like it was doing the thing where it like blinks on and off. It was like the little lights that were like bloop bloop bloop bloop and it was green. And she was. My apologies to

all of Ireland because we are doing you wrong. We're doing you a disservice in this country because oh my god I'll have you know that like a third of Chicago is like Irish yeah well I don't know what the hell actual Ireland thinks of that but I would say they're embarrassed and you know what we're embarrassed for ourselves too honestly they're embarrassed. And you know what? We're embarrassed for ourselves, too. Honestly, they're probably just like, as long as you're drinking, it's fine. That would be Ireland. It was, but yeah, I don't know if they actually do a lot of that over there. Well, I mean, drinking they do, but I don't know if they're wearing big glasses.

No, I guarantee no one in actual Ireland is putting on giant glitter ears and stuff. I don't know. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. If you're from Ireland, what do you do? Let us know. I'm genuinely curious. For St. Patrick's Day,

I guarantee they do not do the same thing Americans do. I promise you. We co-opted and stole that shit and made it our own. Well, I guarantee they're not watching march madness that's probably true although there were some upsets that were worth watching so there were it was uh it was fun watching uh but then there's this one guy oh my god he was like he was the most uh like i don't even know how to put it he just had a jersey on so he had a jersey on but it was just a hockey jersey with no team the team was guinness and it said number 17 guinness and

you might have guessed it he was drinking guinness guinness yeah and i saw him he was from guinness corporate do you think he was like i got a rep he might have been Do you think he was from Guinness corporate? Do you think he was like, I got a rep? He might have been. He was feeling that or he loved Guinness. Because I saw him go get Guinness, I think, like five times. One Guinness is always enough. Isn't Guinness like only 5% alcohol or something? Guinness is, well, the problem is it's like a loaf of bread.

Guinness is a lot. It's like eating a meal. It is a heavier beer. Well, I've had numerous other stouts that are heavier. Guinness is actually a lighter stout. There's like... Oh, man. There's one I had.

It's called Sir Robert the Bruce. Sir Robert the Bruce. You're going to find probably the person instead of the beer, but. Yep. You look up the beer. It's from Three Floyds Brewing. I'm looking at it right now. It is.

Even the bottle makes it look like the inside. If you pour it out, you could bake a bread with it. Oh, yeah. It is. Yeah, there we go. It's a Scottish ale. So I don't actually know if that's the same as a stout might be it's probably a similar type but i don't know if it's a different whatever a full-bodied ale with well-rounded multi-profile and roasted biscuit like notes

oh yeah roasted biscuit it is it does taste like you're drinking a meal sometimes that's what you want i've never never maybe when i was younger but in the last 10 years there's never been a moment where i was like i want to feel full when leaving the bar i really want like to be weighed down by my choices. Oh, yeah. And then there's this woman who walked by. She had two beers. She literally spilled part of it on the floor, and she kept walking.

And she's talking to someone else. And all we heard from her walking by, she was like, this is what it sounded like. What the fuck? And then. You know, that sounds like a bar at St. Paddy's. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I want to know the rest of that conversation. That was great.

And so, yeah, that's all we did. And then we went home. Man, speaking of watching people. Today, my parents messaged me like, yo, you want to get brunch? I was like, hell yeah, I do. So we went to this place. It was good. I was going to get a steak and eggs thing, but I also wanted granola and yogurt. But then I saw they had one of those tasting menu things where you could get all of it.

And I was like, sign me up, dude. So the problem is I didn't realize it also came with alcohol. So then I got a drink. Plus then another drink came with that. Oh, boy. Yeah. Plus then my mom got a drink and then I ended up having some of that. It is to say my parents got me drunk.

Anyway, I was sitting there eating this delightful stuff. My dad discovered he liked uh bruschetta compote something or other my man was feeling himself i've never he was like oh it was like a little tiny piece of bread and then there was this honey glazed thing and nuts and i was like yeah dude you got fancy food and he was like whoa he was super into it anyway the point of the story is that while we were there, across from us, imagine, I'm trying to think of the best way to describe her. Imagine the most Karen-looking Karen who ever Karend.

Except she had really long hair. All right. She didn't have the Karen haircut. But everything else about her, mega Karen. And she comes in by herself. And the waiter, who was like a super nice guy, she sort of gives him a little snark when she's sitting down about the table, about the location. And she's like, can we get some water over here? And he's like, is someone joining you?

She's like, yeah, it'll be a little late, though. He goes off to get her water, comes back. She's sitting there at the time. So the best way to describe this is she's in the other corner and because this is a you know an la restaurant there's windows everywhere and some of the windows are overlooking a beach and so she is with her back to the beach facing the entire restaurant she's like right in the corner what then she takes a sip of her water looks around i couldn't stop watching this it was amazing she takes a look around switches seats pulls out her phone and then like i don't know kind of angles herself in a way that didn't make any sense to me the only

thing i could figure out is she was trying to prep the way she looked for when this guy showed up like and so i got big first date vibes i was like oh it's gonna be good so she's sitting there trying to you know she's moving in her seat and she's slouching and then not slouching and she's taking photos of herself and i'm like whoa this is this is this is exactly what i'm here for meanwhile i'm trying to keep a conversation with my parents, but out of the corner of my eye, I'm watching this lady. And so eventually, she switches seats again. This time back to her original seat. Looks at it.

Takes about 30 seconds. Nah. Goes back to the seat she was just in. And as she sits down and starts to adjust herself, a guy from across the room says whatever her name is, and she pops up. She's's like oh my god like runs over and gives him a hug and the best way i can describe him you know that guy who's in every porn who kind of looks you know like what other job is this man gonna have you know that dude

he's like a little greasy and a little sleazy looking and he has a face that like i don't know that i should trust this man that guy yeah and he's wearing yeah he's wearing a jean jacket and on the back it has sort of a kaleidoscope design that was sewn on i think i don't know and they sit down the best part she sits down in the original first seat she was in because he sits down facing the beach. And so she has to switch everything she's doing, moves her purse and everything. And then they proceed to have a conversation that I can only hear bits and pieces of it because she's very loud and he's very quiet. And basically, I think he said he didn't like the way the restaurant looked and she kept saying we can leave

we can go somewhere else like I just sat down it doesn't matter we can go somewhere else if you want to go it's totally fine and she's clearly over compensating for everything we can just go if you just want to go and he's like nah it's fine so they proceed to order food.

And the entire time, this dude is just sitting there kind of fidgety. It almost looked like a drug fidget, but I don't know if that's true. He was just fidgeting in his seat. And I think because he just didn't like the restaurant or maybe he had been there before. I thought it was good. I thought the restaurant was great. And he's like, just fidgeting in his chair and she looks uncomfortable. And then eventually he's like, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

So he gets up and he leaves. He talks to the waiter guy and he's like, oh yeah, it's like, you got to go like over there. And then like around this thing, because for some reason, a lot of buildings in LA share bathrooms. Oh, I don't know why that is. Like if there's multiple restaurants or whatever together or a lot of times restaurants are part of a hotel that kind of thing and so he gets up and leaves and she makes a very loud joke to the waiter about well he'll be gone for an hour like that kind of thing like okay all right cool lady so then she proceeds to sit there and just sort of fiddle with her tablecloth

and look at the table and touch the plate and have a sip of water. Her drink's arrived. Have a sip of her drink. Sit there and wait. The rest of the time we were eating, that dude did not come back. I don't know if he ditched her or what. How long was it? That man, it might have been 20 minutes.

He was gone. Oh, yeah, he's gone. I don't know if he left. I don't know what happened. Here's the thing. She was, you know, she had big Karen energy, but she was attractive. Yeah. So I don't think, although it's LA, and dudes who look like this dude

definitely are, like like scummy guys. So I don't know what happened, but he was gone. That dude left. Yeah, you should have went to the bathroom to see if he was there. I didn't know where the bathroom was. It was not in the restaurant, that's for sure. Maybe I don't want to go to that bathroom. He could have gotten lost.

Who knows? Maybe. Again, she was like, well, he'll be back in an hour. Maybe she meant it. Yeah. Maybe. I have no clue. Maybe she really meant it.

Yeah, it was very awkward. She was on her phone, and she was frantically texting people. So I definitely felt the vibe of, hmm, something has gone wrong. But I don't know. I have no clue. We got up and we left we had stuff to do i was i was four drinks in at that point so hey what uh we all i feel like la breakfast always have like the craziest journeys like

that time we had the uh the woman ran or the guy randomly come in and sit down the best part about that is the woman was waiting for a blind date so everyone just assumed this wacky guy off the street was her blind date and she's like i don't know him that is how do you beat a moment like that and he was literally like are you my blind yes everyone just thought yeah they're just like yo get him out of here get this guy out there's just a lot of crazy people in LA that's the thing and

so per capita you're gonna have more crazy moments it's just gonna happen that's true so I'm here for it I love every one of them but it was like I knew it was going to be an awkward moment when the minute he sat down,

she was trying to correct the entire... She's like, we can go if you want. We can leave. I was just like, oh, boy. That's so many red flags. This entire situation is just fireworks of red flags. Yeah, that's... Anytime it's like a first date and they're already being like, place you pick kind of sucks.

It's like, all right. Yeah. It's not good. I mean, that's pretty much. Although I did learn something this week. All right. And I probably have said this to you before, but I truly mean this. I think I'm either the worst or the best streamer who ever lived.

All right. There is no in between. Because I watched a girl. You know, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with watching people beat Final Fantasy 14. It's a problem I have. All right. And so I saw on Twitch this girl was in the very end of the very last bit of the story.

And I was like, ooh, I'm going to watch this and get all them secondhand emotions. I was ready. Turned it on. Started to watch. I don't know. She was maybe an hour from the end. Started to watch. I don't know.

She was maybe an hour from the end. She spent so much, like every 30 seconds. Oh, thanks, chat. Oh, yeah. Of course. Spent 10 minutes talking about pizza toppings. And then at one point was like, oh, fish and chips are so good. Yummers.

And I realized I don't do i never engage there are times where it'll be two hours before i look at chat again oh i know that because i've showed up and like hey and then there's no response i'm like all right i don't i play a game i don't interact with people everyone's all look over be like hey thank you yeah's really neat. I don't do any of that. This girl, every 10 seconds someone would say something. She'd be like, oh, yes. Oh, my God. I'm sitting here just like, beat the game.

Just beat the game. Play the game. Just play the game. Just play the game. I got so angry I left. I was so frustrated. Just beat the game. i got so angry i left i was so frustrated i was like just beat just game so i have no idea what her ending was don't care because i and i realized either that is the way to stream and it's the best way and that girl's a pro or like i've cracked the code and just don't talk to anyone i don't it drove me crazy i realize i'm terrible

at streaming and i just i would say uh it depends on the person because like me i'm like that i like using games as background noise often but sometimes i like playing the games but usually i'm gonna talk and interact with people while playing the game. And that's just, you get like hyper-focused in your video game stories. I once went eight hours before I realized I had been playing eight hours. I just want to point out for the record. And that was me playing a game where I was like a Viking man building a town.

It's not even like that compelling. I was just in it for so long. And then you also, this is what I made fun of you for on the Crenn Minute this week. I don't know if you saw my Crenn Minute. I don't watch the Crenn Minute. Yeah, I didn't think you did.

So, I already knew that guy. I was like, he's not going to watch this. So, this one's Crenn Minute. I have to watch it to make sure you don't say anything crazy oh that's true uh who knows it could be like i have thoughts on and i'm like well that's the end of my career that's true um so this week you were talking about your okay i was on my tiktok and it made your show pop up. I don't even know if it was from your news thing or whatever. It's just you popping up, and you were rating all these open world RPGs.

Yes, I was goofing and crapping on chat, yes. Yeah, and you said, Elden Ring, no lore. And I was like, what? It's got a bunch of lore in it. And then, I already knew you didn't like breath of the wild so i knew you wouldn't like that but i was like the funny part is just that all the games that i enjoy are the ones you dislike the most and the ones you love are the ones i dislike the most well that's you know personal preference but that is just personal preference but i was like it's the it's

the irony of like when i'm playing i was playing diablo 4 or like the lore things would pop up and i'm just like escape skip skip and they're like the entire time yeah you're right i would have been like no i would have been eight quests behind you because i watched every cut yeah so i was like escape skip yep and i'm like i'll watch this when the real game comes out and i was like i'm still not gonna look through it i just my thing is like i don't get into stories like you do i just i like my competitive multiplayer game or i like just like like you know grind get loot type of thing or like for me the worst i was gonna ask you why would you play Diablo 4 then, but then you just answered my question. You're gonna grind to get loot. No, all right, I get it.

Yeah. Or, like, I like tycoon type. Like, I'm managing your strategy. Like, it's what I like. I don't like playing through a story with dialogue or, like, a mood. Like, I swear, like, God of War, I was, like, falling asleep.

And then there, I was like, when do I play the game? And then it's like hit triangle. I'm like, ah, all right. I'd rather it's not hit triangle. That is what the funniest part about that is while doing God of War with Gerard, I was like, gotta

sit here for an hour while he plays this stupid game so I can do another cutscene. That's what I cared about. I was like, dude, I want another cutscene that's what i cared about i was like dude i wanted another cut scene so badly and i'd be bored like falling asleep while he's like grinding and murdering guys and i'm like what is the next scene yeah you're right you're totally right yeah it's just that's just the way uh it's just the way we're different that's the you know we're almost one complete gamer yeah together we can be one complete gamer

yeah uh like i said oh my god like the games i know you always play the games all the dialogue options i'm just like oh my god like the dialogue i'm just like whatever click thing is just like johnson what does it mean that the thing i'm like oh my god i'd rather just go outside oh my god i'd rather just go outside so you know and i think that's what i was putting together was i think that's why you don't like breath of the wild doesn't really got a lot of that it's just a lot of like open world exploring and like combat and like doing puzzles and stuff which i was like this is amazing yeah i was totally bored by it yeah and the aesthetic oh my god i love the aesthetic and just being in that world the difference though is you know link to the past is very similar there's not a bunch of story you just wander around and explore stuff but for some reason i love that game

i don't know breath of wild just didn't do it for me i don't know now it's like one of my favorite games i've ever played i'm like breath of wild too i need it now and it's right around the corner ocarina loved it i hate your mask hate oh my god ocarina of time was okay i don't did you play it when it first came out or no well there you go that's here's the part of it's i don't have the nostalgia with it yeah it's what for me 100 i can't's I don't have the nostalgia with it. It's what, for me, 100% nostalgia. I can't go back and play it. When I played it originally, loved it. Looking at it now, it is too jank for me.

I can't do it. Yeah. Like, I was doing my thing where I'd play a bunch of old games, and then I was like, I'll play Ocarina of Time. Because the only time I played it was when we'd go on vacation to, like, you know, like the water park like the Wisconsin like in the hotel yeah yeah in the hotel they got the little Nintendo 64 you could play on you like pay like five bucks for an hour or something and I would play the first level and I would never beat

it and so I was able to beat it and so to me that felt like beating the game and then everyone's like all right keep going and I said like I got like a bit into it and i just like kept dying and like i couldn't beat the one boss and the controls were making me mad and i was like i just don't i just don't like this game but i like the aesthetic of it i like watching people play it and stuff but like me per i don't want to play the game i don't know if he's still doing it. I know last night he was. Our dear friend Octo. Yeah, I rated him after I streamed. As soon as I rated him, literally I hosted, rated him,

and I opened the stream up to be like, oh, thanks, Gruner. And he goes, I swear to God, chat, if you do this one more time, I'm going to stop playing this game. So the way he's playing, he's playing through Ocarina of Time with some mod where chat can affect the game. And last night, as an example, I showed up to say hi and chat, because I showed up, killed him like five times in a row. Just like he'd respawn and kill him again. I was like, yo, you guys are ruthless. They would shrink his screen down

so he couldn't see anything. I mean, my sympathies. I couldn't do that. You and I are over here just be like, oh, if it gets too hard, I'm out. I'm not playing anymore. And Octo, he's like, hurt me, chat. Hurt me.

I mean, he's got to make money somehow. That's the some people you got to make money somehow. That's the some people you got to turn to that. You're just like, all right, guys. Hurt me for much. I don't like the way you said he's got to make money somehow. Some people, they turn to that. You made it sound like Octo was into domination or something.

I don't know. It might be. I'm not judging. I need you to beat me. I need you to just beat me black and blue. Just like really beat me. Yeah. Just like kick me in the nuts a bunch.

Trust me. God, they keep donating and Zelda spit on me. It's unbelievable. But I was actually going to use the crowd control mod but for one game

and that game is Banjo-Kazooie. I think you have enough skill in that game you could deal with whatever they throw at you. That's what I'm saying. I think I've played through that game so many times that now the first time I beat it, when I was like, I got to play it for nostalgia years ago,

it took me like 11 or 12 hours. Last year when I played it, I beat it in under six hours. It was like five and a half. I've got that game down to a science at this point. I think adding the crowd control and people playing around, I think it'll make it fun. I want to see how much it'll change

my playthrough. People will hurt you. They probably will. It is interesting to see the flow so i don't know which one he was playing before it might have been majora's mask he was playing one before he also had crowd control on and even though they did some brutal there was one room with a bunch of skeletons that octo had to get through and they just kept shrinking him down to the point where the skeleton stepped on him he died or. Or they would make him slow.

Or they would make his weapons not do it. Or they would give him, like, times damage, but negative defense and all sorts of crazy things. Just a mess. Oh, yeah. And eventually, though, people were just like, sorry, pal. Here's the buff you need to win. And then they would just run around one-shotting guys. And I was like, interesting.

This seems like a fun way to do this. It's essentially just chat determines whether you win or not. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. That does sound fun though. But yeah, fun for only one game that I've played numerous times and know how to beat. And just want to do it for a while. And I'm not going to do this all the time.

Kidding me? I can only imagine. Like you said, when you went to go see Octo and he was like, Chad, if you do this one more time! So I imagine at a certain point there's a moment where you're like, nope. Nope.

F this. Yeah, so. That was fun. I don't even know how we got here oh yeah different game tastes uh you know everybody's got their own their own taste in games some people want to be punished while they're playing games others want to have story some want to have competitive stuff someone enjoy the environment you know that's that's the joy of video gaming video gaming video gaming well hey everyone has different tastes you're right crendor that's true which is why hello fresh is the best way to make meals that are delivered right to your home because your different tastes are considered because you're the one making it.

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Takes like two minutes. You can use the app. It's the perfect gift for any occasion. Really everyone appreciates photos. And now that we're more and more digital, having a nice frame like this, where you can put it up in your home and you can just broadcast all of your wacky things you're up to immediately. I think that's really cool. The best part is Aura frames have meticulously calibrated high resolution displays. So all of your photos taken

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Don't miss out on this gift of a lifetime. Terms and conditions may apply. Once again, that's auraframes.com and use code Cox for that free shipping. All right, let's go. Whoa. I just said words. Chapter. Yeah, here we are.

The old chapter. Go from there. Yeah, it's it's dropping up here. Down there. It's actually starting to warm up all over It looks like Pretty warm temperatures for spring outlook According to the weather.com page

And Unless you're in the west coast Where it looks like it'll be cooler than normal So being cooler than normal Still ends up being like you know pretty temperate So I mean it's nothing crazy I guess well it depends on where you are. But this isn't even the weather.

This is just traffic. There's traffic out there. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Speaking of weather, let's go to weather. Woo-hoo, weather. Woo-hoo, weather. Here we are at the weather desk.

And we've got a weather request for Thessaloniki, Greece. I'm going flying. Thessaloniki? Yeah. I'm going flying over on the 22nd to surprise my girlfriend for our one year. All I know about that city is that it has great food and a ludicrous amount of stray cats. You have to let us know if it works out well or if it works out like the movies. You know, like when you fly over over It's like it's a secret and you get there

And she's like This is my other boyfriend Bastachio Bastachio? Yeah that sounds like A real Greek name Bastachio I'm gonna let you know If your girl's shacking up with a dude named Bastachio

I think you're just fine don't worry about that Bastaccio anyway in Thessaloniki Thessaloniki Greece it is 47 degrees Fahrenheit feels like 45 degrees Fahrenheit

you got a humidity of 64% pressure of 30.16 inches visibility 9 miles winds at 5 miles an hour degrees fahrenheit you got a humidity of 64 percent pressure of 30.16 inches visibility nine miles uh winds at five miles an hour dew point 36 you got 6 32 a.m sunrise 6 39 p.m sunset a uv index of zero and a moon phase of waning crescent uh take a look at the old 10 day we've got 65 degrees on mond, partly cloudy. Tuesday, 63 with PM showers. Wednesday, 66 with AM showers.

Thursday, partly cloudy, 66. Friday, 68, mostly sunny. Saturday, 72, partly cloudy. And Sunday, mostly sunny with 71 degrees. So pretty nice weather over in Thessaloniki. Especially for like a beach town. You know what I mean? Yeah.

No, it seems pretty good. It's not even that windy. It's like lightly windy, but not too bad. What's so upsetting is the first restaurant I clicked on in this town, which by the way, the town looks beautiful. The first place I clicked on was called Shark Bar. And I was like, oh my God, Shark Bar. And the first image, beautiful. It looks like a really amazing kind of adult-looking bar.

And I was like, wow, that's so cool. And then the very first piece of food looks like a shitty sub. It does not. Of all the images to include, that is bad-looking. That looks like, that's not a great-looking sandwich. Yeah, it doesn't look bad, but it doesn't look like oh, this is like a fancy. It doesn't match the decor

at all. The decor looks like a fine steak restaurant and it is maybe like seafood and I don't know what that is. But if you scroll down enough, suddenly you get to things that look there's something here that looks like a dessert. Yeah. It looks like, I mean like that looks delicious. There's things on here. There's like a gnoc like a dessert. Yeah. But it looks like, I mean, like, that looks delicious.

There's things on here. There's, like, a gnocchi dish, it looks like. There's a bunch of really fancy stuff. I don't know. There's just, like, sand with fries. And then there's this weird-ass sub, yeah. Which makes me wonder if there's just someone brought that food to the restaurant. Like, it does not fit at all.

Yeah, it really doesn't. Like, there's one dish here. It looks like rocks. Yeah, I saw that. That's incredible. Yeah, some of the food here, the fish, this one fish dish looks incredible. And then there is that ugly ass sub. And I don't know.

Like, it does not fit at all. Maybe that's the lunch menu. Yeah, maybe that's the lunch menu. Maybe the lunch menu is like the trash menu. Like, we got to get rid of the leftovers from last night that's true everything else looks really good so yeah that's jarring i don't i didn't tell you wow shark bar what's the deal it's funny because when i clicked on a restaurant for the first time i clicked shark bar and i was like i bet he's gonna say shark bar and then you did hell yeah

I like there's a place called brothers in law it looks like a burger place but all the burgers look like if you were an alien and you were told what a hamburger was and then you tried to create it without ever seeing one this is

this is what it look like look at this hamburger this looks like it doesn't look like if I if you were an alien I described you a hamburger this is what it would be. That just looks like a fancy Krabby Patty. It doesn't look right.

There is so much ketchup pouring over the edges and then a I don't know if that's yogurt or cheese or what that is on it it is bizarre looking yeah that is crazy looking it doesn't look like real and all the photos of the hamburgers all the hamburgers are like overflowing oh yeah the sides are dripping and it's just like i don't think that's what a hamburger is. I mean, it might be really good. I don't know.

I'm not a big fan of like over. Like this. All right. The best way to describe this. Imagine a hamburger and a BLT combined, except instead of mayo, they dumped ranch all over it. Oh, yeah. I see that. Just poured a gallon of ranch on it.

That is the least appetizing thing I've ever seen. I'm sorry. I can't do, I can't do, I can't do that kind of stuff. Look at this place. This is a brunch place. This place looks amazing. This is where I would go right away. Whoa, this place looks beautiful. Wow.

The pancakes look good. Why am I over here on crappy Burger Town when you got delicious... Even the hamburgers at this restaurant look better. They do. Wow. Some of these... This is dangerous. This right here, what is this? This is...

Alright. If you're listening right now, imagine two pancakes, but in between pancake one and pancake two is a layer of chocolate something. like a chocolate hazelnut sauce. And then on top of pancake one, which is on top of pancake two, is a strawberry-looking sauce, Oreos, strawberries, and then pieces of chocolate. That is dessert, not breakfast. I don't know what the hell of chocolate. That is dessert, not breakfast. I don't know what the hell that is.

That's crazy. Oh, man. Meanwhile, the omelets look good. I think it looks great. Yeah, everything looks good. This place is called Bahamas Urban Brunch Bar. Also, you can get tiki drinks and little tiki

jugs. Oh, yeah, I see that. Love it. Big fan. That looks great. But all this, admittedly, everything we're looking at, when we say it looks good, it looks good for tourist food. Yeah. I think we should state that none of this looks like something that an average dude

in Greece would eat. This isn't something you're going to every day. Yeah, this all looks like touristy food. Yeah. But McDonald's on the other... What's going on with McDonald's in Greece? Oh, yeah.

Well, someone ordered a ton of food. Wow. That's ridiculous. I mean, it looks exactly like our McDonald's. Sometimes you see McDonald's from around the world and it looks way better. Nah, this looks just like ours. Yeah. This looks just as trashy.

Everybody needs their trashy food. Yeah. Ooh, what is Les Azus? Ooh, Les Azus. Yo, Les Azus looking like this is the spot now this is a place i would go every day even though it's probably very expensive this place the view is beautiful uh the food looks like simple simple and clean oh yeah this does look good i'm feeling tonight look yeah yeah some laser zeus right there. Look at that.

Yeah, I'm down for a big chop of meat. Oh, I'm here for it. Yeah, all right. See, all right. See, this is what I think is this place has a lot of, like, grilled shrimp and grilled fish. This is what I would expect if I was on the coast. Yeah. Oh, you're, like, in a port, too.

This is, like, grease grease. This is, too. This is like grease grease. This is, yeah. This is grease grease. This is grease. I thought for a minute that it was going to be more towards like Turkey or more towards like, you know, Italy. No, this is like the heart of grease grease. This is like right up in there. Yeah.

Interesting. Oh, my God. Look at. Okay. What did you find? This is called Beyond the Walls. Beyond the Walls? What the hell? What does that mean?

Yo, it's a scientific breakfast plate. They have beakers and shit. Yo, I love this. Yeah, this one's crazy. This is Beyond the Walls. Big fan, yeah. Crazy. this yeah this one's crazy this is beyond the walls big fan yeah crazy yeah all right yeah yeah well that's the weather okay let's go sports sports welcome to sports uh so nfl free agency's been kicking off a lot of free agency stuff happening. Aaron Rodgers probably going to go to the Jets.

Still waiting on that trade to happen. But a whole bunch of football players going all over. One important player. One important player going. I don't know which one. Did you not see the news about our boy? Oh, yeah. The Minshew.

Minshew going to the Colts. He might actually start yeah we need that we need we need someone needs to give that man the power to be in the lead yeah he is this could be a shot this could be his first executive decision every player has a mullet

I mean listen at this point Colts need whatever they can get. They haven't been doing too well. True. So and in March Madness, we had some crazy stuff. So the where is it? The Furman beat Virginia in an upset. Then we had Princeton beat number two, Arizona, and then Princeton beat number seven, Missouri.

So Princeton is like one of the 15th seeds, like one of the worst teams. They're in the third round now. So they're going crazy. And then on the other side, I believe, where's the other big upside? Oh yeah, Kansas lost. That was pretty insane.

They're another number one. They beat Howard in the first round, and then they lost to Arkansas in the second round. And then the other big upset, you had Fair Dickinson beating Purdue. That's the one I was going to talk about. That's amazing. Yeah, Fair Dickinson. Look at that. Do you see the Purdue locker room? Those dudes were pissed. Oh, yeah. One of them punched through a whiteboard. Oh, yeah. One of them, like, punched through a whiteboard. Yeah, I'd be pissed, too. Yeah, I'd be pissed, too. Although, I mean, it's a good-ass story. I don't think those dudes, I don't think Fair Dickerson are going to make it all the way, but, like, it's a good-ass story.

Well, they are playing against FAU, who's number nine, and they are losing nine to nothing right now. Yeah, that sounds right. Not a great start for them, but who knows? Maybe they'll turn around uh then over in basketball we got the bucks at the top of the east with the 76ers celtics calves nicks and nets in the top six then you got the heat hawks raptors and bulls looking for the play-in and you got the nuggets kings grizzlies sons clippers mavs in the west with the warriors

thunder timberwolves jazz looking for the play-in with a couple teams outside. And then in hockey, we got the Bruins up top still. The Hurricane top of the Metropolitan Division. You got the Dallas Stars atop the Central with the Wild right behind them. And the Golden Knights atop the Pacific with the LA Kings right behind them. And that is sports. Okay, what is our fact of the day? Fact of the day.

Day. Day. Day. Yep. Yep. Male students attending Brigham Young University cannot grow beards i guess just they can't they're not allowed to grow beards they just i just imagine they just physically can't like they attended the university about the school we can't we can't grow beards the horror movie

yeah we can't grow our beards here this This Mormon flagship university has several strict guidelines that include banning premarital sex, alcohol, and tattoos. Unless you have a medical condition or specific religion, men from this university are not allowed to grow a beard. You know what I learned about... So, you know rules, right? And how, like, you know, kids find ways to break them. Yeah. One of the craziest things i learned and i watched a video about it and was blown away um in as you mentioned

premarital sex is a no-no for mormons oh they bounce on the bed yes there's some other thing they do or like if you don't, it doesn't count as sex. So like two people will be not doing it, doing it. And then another person will be on the bed jumping up and down. That is hilarious. And I thought that had to be. I was like, that's a joke. That's a meme. That's stupid.

That's some internet lie. No, there was like interviews with people talking about it. They're like, yeah, I was about it they're like yeah i was doing it for my friend i'm like what that is insane like first off but i guess you have one of your friends standing there with both of you yes yes it's so crazy like i take it it's some sort of like religious loophole but at the same time... Absolutely. Is it like you... Like, why would it matter? You can get the heaven and God's just like, ah, he got me. You tricked me.

Youse, guys, you got me. Okay, you can have your own planet. It's fine. Like, it just doesn't make any sense. Yeah. He's just looking down like, ah, I got my foolproof plan. You didn't specify. You didn't specify. It my foolproof plan. You didn't specify.

You didn't specify. It's genie rules. You didn't specify. Like, I don't know. Maybe. I just don't get it. I just don't get it. You know?

Yeah. I mean, if you're going that far already, just keep going. Right? Again, it's one of those weird things I mean if you're going that far already just keep going right again it's one of those weird things where just kids will constantly find ways to get around stuff and

yeah I don't it's just so dumb I remember thinking that just like this this is the craziest thing I've ever seen but also I'm pretty sure I did stupid stuff as a kid to get around the rules you know what I mean? Oh yeah, everybody. That's what you do. I mean, dating back to like

as little as you are, you're just, you're like, how can I do this thing without my parents figuring out what I'm doing? Yeah. I remember I did that with World of Warcraft. Mine never involved another person on a bed jumping up and down, but like to each their own. Yeah. Like I remember World of Warcraft, I like used my parents credit card to charge like a

subscription month and they were like what's this blizzard entertainment and i was like i don't know what it is um ice de-icer there must be they must dispute that one yeah i don't know i don't even know what happened after that i just remember that happening uh i heard that like utah is actually the state that consumes the most like soda because of not being allowed to have like alcohol and stuff that's like that guy that i sent you on tiktok that canadian dude who's like you told me i can't have four beer but i can have a two liter of soda. What's better, four beer or two liter of soda? I love that guy.

That guy speaks to me. That guy and I, we're on the same wavelength. I love that dude. Four beer? Yeah, you know, one, two beer. You know, three, four beer. It's like two beer a week. That's like a, that's not even a day.

It's like, I need that. Literally, he's just like, I need to drink two beers a day because what else am I going to do? The man has a point. He's in the middle of nowhere, Canada. What else is he going to do? Yeah. I mean, listen. As long as you're drinking in moderation,

you're not going overboard, you're not driving, you know whatever, just let the man have his 2-3 beer, right? Just let the man have his 2-3 beer. He does bring up a valid point. The government was like, we're trying to limit how much beer you drink. Then he's like, so I can go out and get like 22 liters. Isn't that way worse? The man has a point.

Yeah. I mean, everything's bad for you in some way. Yeah. He's very wrong on the fact that he definitely shouldn't be drinking four beer a day, as he said. It's like, you know, everything you do is going to have some sort of negative impact on you, especially if it's like soda or drinking, smoking. Yeah.

I mean, even not exercising is bad for you, right? Like so many things are bad for you. And this dude did not exercise, let's be very clear. Well, yeah, he's definitely not exercising. This man does not exercise. It's, you know, you gotta live life. Everybody's gonna die. You gotta live life.

You gotta just don't go crazy. You gotta get your four beer, get yourself a sixer. One, two beer, youer. One, two beer. You know? One, two beer. I just love the way he talks. Everything about that man, I love.

You got to have four beer. One, two beer. What are you trying to do? I'm going to get a two liter. Get four or five beer. Now I'm curious. Let's see. What state drinks the most soda? Here we go.

Soda. Wisconsin or Milwaukee? 100%. This says Mississippi. Yeah, I believe that. This is from 2015. Let's see. It's got Mississippi, Tennessee, Nevada, Oklahoma, and Georgia.

Really? I heard it was Utah. Maybe it's beer. Beer is probably Wisconsin or Minnesota, right? Oh, yeah, beer is definitely Wisconsin. Are you kidding? Yeah, it's literally. It's one of those two.

Somebody who lives right next to Wisconsin has been to Wisconsin numerous times. That is the state of, like, beer, bratwurst, and cheese. Like, that's what you got there. What state drinks the most water? Oh, California. Ironically. Yeah, that checks out. Also, because we probably need it.

Because we don't have any. Yeah. Why isn't Utah? I thought Utah was supposed to be up here. Am I crazy? Isn't Utah, isn't caffeine a no-no oh maybe that's what it is being like a no-no for mormons i don't know i'm not a mormon i just i think what it is is they they have a lot of sugar that's probably what i was thinking of since they can't have like caffeine they can't

have alcohol they have a lot of sugar i think that's what it was it wasn't soda specifically i guess people got to get their their vice wherever they can get it. Everybody needs a vice. It's not like somebody can't do those things. It's like, well, I'm perfectly normal now. Like, they're probably going crazy. They're cracking. Yeah.

On the inside, they don't got their one-two beer. You need your one-two beer. Three-four beer. You don't got your beer. You know, you got to find something else. Yeah. So that's your fact of the day all right what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day okay so this one is kind of dumb and funny so it's perfect good good job selling it so far

main motorists fight for the right to have naughty vanity license plates oh is this like ass man i think so Isn't that a Seinfeld thing? It is. I'm curious what people... Now, Maine, I'm just going to say this, and it's a fact. Maine has an older population. Not a lot of young kids flock into Maine. So I'm really curious what naughty license plates are considered there, right? Is it like pushmaster?

You know what I mean? Be pushmaster. are considered there, right? Is it like Pushmaster? You know what I mean? Like, is it like... Me Pushmaster. Pushmaster sounds like the name of a monster in Diablo. Let's not pretend. I'm Pushmaster! Um... I don't know about that.

You know it's true. You know it's true. Um... So, we've got Augusta Main. A main vegan whose custom license plate contains the word tofu is one of the motorists caught in a state crackdown on vulgar license plates. Wait, what? Tofu? Like we don't like that soy stuff here, mister.

So is he just, like, caught up in the crossfire? Is that what this is? I guess. Unless it's spelled like T-O-E space F-U, in which case, like, that could be a problem. Maybe that's why it's F-U in it. I don't know. Let's see.

Car owners across the United States can pay an extra fee to customize license plates, sparking creativity and personality, but causing headaches for state officials who have to decide what's acceptable. Maine had for several years allowed people to put just about anything on their license plates, including words and phrases that other states would ban. Oh, God. What would they put on there? That's a great question.

Oh, God. What did they put on there? That's a great question. The state decided to change course and this year recalled 274 plates it deemed inappropriate. Some people are fighting back. What was deemed inappropriate? Like, tofu's not inappropriate.

I see it now. Don't worry, it's coming. So far, the state has rejected all of the appeals, including one brought by the vegan whose license plate referenced tofu. The state concluded that the license plate love tofu

or L-U-V-T-O-F-U Oh! Oh! Alright, well I get that one. That's good, that's good. Could have been seen as a reference to sexual intercourse instead of... No, no. That dude just likes tofu.

The motorist insisted there was no mistaking his intent because the back of his car had several tofu-related stickers. It's my protest against eating meat and animal products, Peter Starosteki, the disappointed motorist said after a Zoom session, Heather Libby and her best friend grudgingly gave up their matching license plates as the word contained

a word for female dog. People are so sensitive nowadays, said Libby of Jonesport after hearing Examiner rejected her appeal. They wouldn't let me put bitch on my license plate. When the state

effectively ended the review process for so-called vanity license plates, in 2015, some residents obtained plates with all manner of profanities, including F-bombs, either spelled out or abbreviated. Residents in a state known for being laconic and even tempered

were soon sporting uncensored plates pairing the word snow or F word with snow haters and ALS the incurable neurodegenerative disease wait ALS was

oh so they're saying like FALS kind of like the F cancer F haters F snow like that right right right right right, right. Okay. Yeah. Right. After license plate freedoms spiraled out of control, the Maine legislator directed the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to reestablish a system for

vetting the state's roughly 120,000 vanity license plates. The new rules banned derogatory references to age, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, religion, or disability. Also banned is language that incite violence or considered obscene. Heather Libby and her best friend grudgingly

gave up their matching license plates that had the female dog word. I just, it doesn't, like, there's there clearly needs to be a line. This is one of those things where it sounds like they're taking a mallet when this is a scalpel kind of thing right it doesn't make any sense to yes if someone's being derogatory and

hateful yes absolutely but if someone is like i love tofu and it comes out as i love to f you that's just funny that's funny you gotta let that That is funny. But at the same time, I wouldn't care. I'd just be like, I got to change it and I'd move on. Yeah, but that's his person. You don't understand. The back of his car has stickers. That's that man's life. That's his personality.

Can I just say that whenever I see someone that has a bunch of stickers on their car, I'm like, this is a crazy person. Today, while we were at brunch brunch the person that parked next to us had all over their car uh jesus take the wheel god is number one all these different things and it was like uh you know jesus is my passenger but then on the gas cap was a sticker decal of a little stick figure holding the line of the gas on full instead of empty um and i just thought that was really funny because it's like god is powering this machine but also we are empty we are real i don't know what was going on with that i got mixed signals but yeah i immediately knew oh that person's a handful And maybe that was the lady waiting on the date. Either way.

Yeah, it doesn't matter either side, whether you're, you know, one side or the other. One bully for it. Just if you got a bunch of stickers. Yeah. There's a peak sticker. Like there is a moment where you've crossed. You can put one sticker, two sticker. Fine.

But there's a moment and we all know it when we see it, where you have crossed the line to crazy town. Yeah. You know, it is like someone who is just constantly like on Twitter, someone who just like lives to argue, somebody that's just like I need everyone to know

this is who I am. And it's like, that's great. I just want to like drive. We have a public interest in keeping phrases and words that are profane or may incite violence off the roadways. She said she's happy that most motorists have relinquished their objectable objectionable license plates without a fight. So far, there's only been 13 appeals,

but there could be more. If a motorist loses an appeal to a hearing examiner, they can then sue in superior court. So far, no one has taken that step. As for Starosteki, he was offered another license plate that had become available. Vegan, V3

G-A-N, but he declined. Yeah, no, that sucks. It's not 2001. No. He decided he was done with vanity plates. He's awaiting a new plate, a boring one randomly selected by the state. Libby, who lost her B-word plate, got a custom plate celebrating her dog, Zeus, named for the mythical god of thunder. Quote, that could be offensive to someone because it's a Greek god. But she quipped, but I hope not.

God, but she quipped, but I hope not. Maine is like the quintessential first world problem state. Just like, cool. Good job Maine. This is this is you can already tell this is the person

who's already got stickers on there like love my dog. My dog is my my grandson like shit like that like cool you have a dog and you like it i don't care like just you know just have a boring car have your boring license plate if anything you know have a license plate just says heart my dog or something i did i did have to change my license plate, though. My initial license plate when I first moved to L.A., even though it wasn't – I didn't make it, right? But I felt really uncomfortable because except for one number, it literally said – it was H8 something something like G-A-E. And it almost looked like it said hate gays.

And I was like, no, I can't do this. I was like, I don't want people to even assume. I was like, no, no, can't do it. There's some times I'll put up a YouTube video and the custom URL's got some stuff in it. I'm like, oh, this URL isn't good.

I was like, I don't want people to even make assumptions. I was like, nope, nope. Called up the up the state was like i need a new license plate so there you go if you're in maine you might have to change your license plate i guess well if you're not in maine thanks for listening i don't know i don't know yeah that's it for the show crendor hit them with the socials we've got socials youtube.com slash cox and crendor Not in Maine. Thanks for listening. I don't know. I don't know. That's it for the show. Crendor, hit them with the socials. We've got socials.

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we obey continue. you