Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 382 - How Do Leeches Work?

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

The boys are back and this time Jesse spent his week in LA, playing games about LA, and going to seen local sites in the games that he could have just walked to in real life. Meanwhile Crendor meets a man who has way too many pets. Also the boys learn about the Gingerbread Museum and attempt to understand how leeches work. All this and more, on a brand new Cox n' Crendor. Go to http://expressvpn.com/cox to get an extra 3 months free on a one-year package.

Today's episode is brought to you by ExpressVPN. You're trying to keep your information safe online. ExpressVPN is the best way to do that. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Cosa Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.

In 4-hour recording studios. Recorded. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Gags and Grendor in the morning! Yes! Yes! Sounded like you were under duress. What the hell is happening there? Aren't we all under duress? Some days it feels like that. I'll be real.

Yeah, I don't know. What's going on? A whole bunch of nothing. This week has been pretty chill. I realized that I had taken, I don don't know way too many brand deals this one particular week and so i spent all day planning everything around playing video games which is a good it's a good problem to have right and um thankfully hilariously both of the like two big games that i had this week uh horizon burning Burning Shore, and Dead Island 2, both happened in LA.

So I essentially got to play a video game that was my city and running around in it in both post-apocalyptic futures. And I'll be honest with you, hilarious. It was so much fun. The best part about Dead Island 2 is that you start in the Hollywood Hills and in Bel Air and stuff. And it is so accurate that all the roads, you can't see inside the mansions. And I was trying to explain to chat, I know

you think you're going to go up into the Hollywood Hills and see like a celebrity's mansion. Nah, it's all bushes and giant walls and you can't see anything and it's the most boring experience ever. Every time someone comes to LA, they're like, let's go to Hollywood. Hollywood sucks.

Let me just stress this again. Hollywood sucks. And I'm so happy Dead Island 2 put that in. It's hilarious. Everything about it sucks. It's so funny. So I'm very much enjoying it. That is true. The only times I've ever been to Hollywood, it did suck. That's it. Oh. I thought there's a story there i was waiting like and no yeah uh no that was it i remember seeing the church of scientology that in the mormon church which is about 20 times

bigger i just hate the hollywood culture like i don't even know if it has a culture. It's so culturally bankrupt. It is just as the closer you get to Hollywood, the more billboards and signs you see for people that I guess want to be celebrities. It's very bizarre. Agents will rent out giant billboards for publicity for a new show or whatever. Like agents will rent out giant billboards for publicity for a new show or whatever. And 90% of them you have never heard of and you will never hear of again because it's literally just for the people to be like, we're very popular. Right.

It has nothing to do with what's good or bad. And then award season comes around and everything turns to awards like for your consideration, house hunters. And you're like, cool. All right. It's a lot of that. And other than that, Hollywood, there's some cool venues and things if you're going to go to a show. That's cool. Everything else, what are you going to do? Go to the wax museum or go dance with a little too dirty Spider-Man?

What are you going to do up there? Look at the walk. The stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 90% of the stars are people you've never heard of. That's true. How do they even get stars? Honestly, originally, I thought it was you had to earn it in some way, but I'm almost positive you pay for it.

Oh, yeah, probably. Let me look that up. How do you? Criteria for receiving a star consists of the following. Professional achievement, longevity in the category for it. Oh yeah, probably. Let me look that up. How do you Criteria for receiving a star consists of the following. Professional achievement, longevity in the category for five or more years, contributions to the community and the guarantee the celebrity

will attend the dedication ceremony. Gotcha, gotcha. So the contributions to the community are the money bit. I see. So you're essentially kind of paying for it. Yeah, it says right here um can anyone buy a star and this one says a star

cannot be bought it is an honor and achievement however and then it goes on to list all these things you have to do and one of them includes spending money but they can't be bought yeah also there's a fee of $55,000 payable at the time of selection so they select you and a fee of $55,000 payable at the time of selection.

So they select you and then you pay $55,000. Right, right, right, right, right. Could you imagine just like getting selected for an award? And they're like, you're like, oh, my God, this is awesome. Like, yeah. So if you want your award, you have to pay $55,000. It's like when the guy gives you a CD. I don't know if they do this anymore or Blu-ray or whatever of their music.

And they're like, yo, yeah, I'll sign it for you. And then they hand it to you. And then they expect money. And you're like, I didn't want this to begin with, bro. And then they harass you until you pay them. They do that stuff to tourists all the time here, especially near the Chinese theater. Yeah, this one dude, when I was downtown at the Bean, tried to put like a bracelet on my hand.

He's like, all right, you buy now. And I was like, no, I don't buy. I was like, get out of here. I was like, walk away. I was like, no. Years ago, I don't remember where this was. This might've been New York. I went to go meet some friends downtown.

While I was getting off the subway, there was a guy standing there with like, I don know i'm not gonna say a trench coat but a very suspiciously long jacket and as i approached him he opened his jacket he was like yo i got rings i got i got necklaces and i was like no i'm good he's like dude i need to get rid of these like anything i'll take any amount of money and i'm like no no i'm good he's like like, anything, dude, anything. I was like, no, no. The fact that you want me to buy them that badly is worrisome. I'm just going to keep moving. He's like, dude, dude, three for one.

It's got to work. I imagine some people are just like, oh, you know, I guess I'll just, I guess I'll buy it, you know, just to not make a hassle or like not create a scene or something. He was trying to get me to buy and i'm gonna do this with air quotes air quotes gold necklaces and gold rings for 16 dollars i was like nah i'm all right this man has found you gold literally found you literal gold something that has been try people have tried to get that for

generations. And he's trying to give it to you for only $16. Yeah, damn. Unbelievable. And then like, I don't know, I played Horizon and that was fun. LA is like the year 3000 LA

is wild. I will say LAX still there. I mapped say LAX, still there. I mapped out the highways, which was really sad. I was like, oh, well, this must be the 405. So that means the 10 is over there. Oh, it's beautiful. So what you're saying is you enjoy trying to find your surroundings in a video game.

I mean, I like exploring in games. And when I can explore a place that I already know and be like, my god so a great example is when i was going through the hollywood hills in bel-air and dead island 2 i was like oh my god i actually know this street and even though it's a fake hotel i know what hotel they're mimicking and that side road over there oh my god that's a side that's kind of the side road that sometimes i take to get to a friend's house right like yeah so that kind of stuff was fascinating to me and uh yeah i love that i'd love stumbling upon something and be like oh my god i recognize this yeah i mean it's pretty

fun i can see that i could have gotten out and literally walked around the town and done the same thing but instead i sat on a stream and played these two games all week well to be fair one of them was paying you money to do it the other was just you would go outside true very true however I'm no longer being paid I'm still playing both so you know I played a Tara nil that game was really fun hell yeah yeah I liked it a lot it was very chill it's my type of thing just like creating the environment and just hearing rain sounds and i was like yeah it is a very crendor game i love it yeah i loved it too um Um, so I did that. And then, Oh my God, I forgot.

So I went, all right, here's a story. Uh, I went to pet smart or pet co whatever. It was a pet place. One of them. And I was buying cat food.

And so the guy there at the checkout thing was like, Oh, you got a, you got a few cats. And I was like, nah, I just got one cat. I'm just like loading up. And he was like, ah, Oh you got a few cats and i was like nah i just got one cat i'm just like loading up and he was like ah oh i got four cats and i was like oh that's cool and he's like and

six dogs i was like oh that's cool and he's like and a squirrel i was like what and he's like yeah the squirrel comes in and sleeps with me at night he'll like wrap around my neck and then the other animals are like sleeping all over the bed and he's like and then i got like two goats and uh something else i can't remember what he said i was like still like trying to process everything he was talking about i'm soaking is this guy like live in the countryside i don't understand understand. I have no idea. But all I know is he's got four cats, six dogs, a squirrel, and a couple random other animals.

And he works at a pet store, so I guess it checks out. Yeah, he must just love animals, I guess. I guess. But he was just like, yeah, my dogs, they love the squirrel. They've attacked other squirrels, but this squirrel, they know this is my squirrel and they love him. I was like, oh, that's neat. They're one happy family. They're like, you know,

a found family of weird animals hanging out together. I guess he's like the druid and the hobbit or something. Go through the animals again. How many does he have? Four cats, six dogs, a squirrel.

And then there is like a couple random other like a goat or like, I don't know, something like that. There's like a couple other things. And this was in a pet shop in your town. I'm trying to just piece together how this guy can live in your area and still have room for all of these animals i was literally checking out buying cat food i got my cat food i left he seemed all right yeah and uh speaking of random people out in public, so we got our we got our standard like breakfast again. Oh, yeah. And we're eating and there's these people like a couple tables down and they were just like, is this guy who is probably in his like late 30s, early 40s?

was probably in his like late 30s early 40s and this other guy who was probably like late 40s early 50s and the the late 30 early 40 guy was just like dude i i hate the real estate market gotta pay this jackass 10 grand and then i need my marketing team to do some other shit by the time that happens you gotta like buy the land And that's like all I could hear. But he was like, I don't know if he's like building something. It sounded like he's like overseeing a building process or whatever. But he was like, he was going all out. He was like, blah, blah, blah. And then when we left, when we left, when we left the restaurant, like 20 minutes later,

he was still talking to the guy in the parking lot at their car. So they were like, but the thing was, this guy did all the talking. The other person, I think, did like 5% of the talking. So it was a very one-sided conversation. But maybe the other guy just likes listening. Yeah, maybe dude was just complaining. Yeah. I think that's what it was.

I think he was just complaining. Yeah. Yeah. I have a theory, and it's completely untested, but it's just like a gut feeling I have that I know is true for some reason. If it's a weekday and you see two people out to lunch or brunch or whatever, I promise you, one person there has showed up specifically to rant to the other person about something,

to vent in some way. And the other person is there to listen, and that's the dynamic. That's just the way it is. I don't know why. And I know people are like, what about business? What about relationships?

It all boils down to that. The midday lunch on a weekday is always someone has a problem and the other person sits there and listens usually i'm the listener so i get it i enjoy listening uh because the there's a another table right behind us i forgot about they weren't like crazy but it was just these like two older women and the classic like we need to get together for brunch. And then they got together for brunch and she's like, oh, my God, Mary, I haven't seen you in forever. Then she's just like, I love the sandwiches.

And she's like, I see. Oh, my God. And she was like, oh, the sandwiches. She did think she's like, you are not paying for this meal. I am going to pay for it and you cannot stop me. She had the vibe of like, like she used to teach probably like aerobic fitness in the 80s. You know what I mean? I mean, you're giving me like a good vibe and I kind of want to know more about her.

Not going to lie. I kind of want to like, she's single. What's going on there i don't know but she had that vibe of like used to teach aerobic fitness in the 80s definitely like you know uh just like high energy kind of you know extroverted but like you know like a nice person and she's just meeting up with mary who Mary? Mary looked like she either was like an office, like a secretary and was burned out, or was like a former teacher and was burned out. Both of those seem entirely plausible and accurate. Yeah, it was very much that type of atmosphere going on there.

But, you know, I didn't pay. I wasn't like holding up my listening horn or something like, oh, I need to listen to this table. What's going on over there? Don't spasm my listening horn. I just kind of,

you know, I just sit there, observe. If someone's talking very loudly, I'm like, what are they talking about? Oh my God, that just reminds me again. There's this other woman talking very loudly i'm like what are they talking about oh my god that just reminds me again there's this other woman talking very loudly and i it was like she was she's talking about dogs but it was like it was like she was collecting trading cards she was just like no way you got a golden when you say it like that i absolutely can't imagine what this is like no she's just like no, you got a golden?

I've got like two Germans at home, but you know, you got one. I was just like, what? It literally sounded like they're trading Yu-Gi-Oh cards over there, but it's like Golden Retriever and German Shepherd. If anyone ever shouted I've got two Germans at home, I would be like, what? So yeah,

I'd tune in too. I'd be like, I gotta listen to this conversation. Again, I mentioned this the other i mentioned this some people are just like you guys are a little too nosy like listen if someone's yelling out in public i'm not gonna be like hmm i can't hear i i am trying to just sit at my like no i'm gonna listen just let it be known that if you shout i've got two germans at home i'm gonna going to tune in. I'm going to stop what I'm doing, and I'm going to listen to you instead. And it's not, like, if she then said German shepherds, that is, I'd be like, okay, and I'd go back to my business. But until I got my answers, I'm in to figure out who the Germans are that live in this woman's home.

Yeah. I mean, she did say a golden. She didn't mention dogs. I don't know. I imagine it's a golden retriever, but who knows's home. Yeah. I mean, she did say a golden. She didn't mention dogs. I don't know. I imagine it's a golden retriever, but who knows, right? Yeah. Who knows what they were actually talking about?

And that's pretty much it. Everything else is pretty normal. We should probably say right now that we have an announcement, a minor announcement. It's not a real announcement yet. We're trying to finalize the date. Yeah.

But potentially, August 19th, Chicago, Illinois, we would love to see you for a live show. We're going to absolutely try our best to make it that day. The last time I looked, they were trying to lock it in.

It's not confirmed, though. So don't get crazy. Just like think plan ahead. Just mentally say August Cox and Crandor. Yeah. Cox guest. I run dog. August.

I don't know about that. Crandon.ist is pretty close Cron-Dawg-ist sucks Cox's that's also a Saturday it is I said I would love to do a Saturday show

because we keep getting put on like a Thursday or Sunday I'd love to do a Saturday there's a lot of people that are like I'd love love to go, but then they got to go to work the next day, so they can't do it. But at least on a Saturday, then they can go home Sunday if they got to. Yeah. I mean, and we do a great job selling tickets.

So here's what I'll say. If we do land this Saturday, we'll probably sell out faster. So just heads up. That is true. We're going to want to buy them sooner rather than later. So wait for our announcement. We'll do it here on the show, but just mentally plan. Yeah, mentally. Physically, emotionally.

Spiritually. Spiritually. Well, you know what else you should plan on doing? Oh! Plan on getting yourself ExpressVPN. Because if you spend time online, even if you're the safest, I promise you,

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There's also bad actors who use my email to sign me up for weird spam things or try to get my bank account information, or try to discover passwords and things. And ExpressVPN has honestly saved me from having to deal with that stress because it used to be one of those things where I get a message all the time that's like, information from this website's on the dark web. You got to change your password again. Now everything is encrypted and so much safer,

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to get an extra three months free on a one-year package. Expressvpn.com slash Cox. All right, Grendel, let's go to the traffic. Some of the guys at Grendel, how's that traffic out there? Oh, boy. We are in the sky, flying high, and it looks like there's some traffic out there right now,

although it's actually not too bad. Spring break's over. It's not summer now. Although it's actually not too bad. Spring break's over. It's not summer yet, so it's actually pretty standard traffic. Nothing too crazy. Weather's not too bad. So enjoy it. Back to you. Thanks, Crendor.

Now let's go to weather. Weather. Shoot. weather you drove off on like a motor like a kawasaki motor cycle sometimes you just gotta rev up into the weather you know that's how i am sometimes when it's cold outside and i have to like step out the door. I got to rev myself up. All right. Let's see. Weather for. I just typed in weather and then I hit enter a bunch of times to cycle through other requests. And I have landed on. Can we get a weather report for Thorn Torun Poland?

Home to Copernicus and a gingerbread powerhouse on european scale it is one of the few medieval polish towns that avoided destruction during the war but the life here will never be as good as when the teutonic knights ruled the place what the hell hold on what is this place toroon poland. Wait, there's Torun, Kujawian, Pomeranian, Vojvodosie, Poland, and Torun, Lublin, Vojvodosie. I'm just clicking the top one. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. All right.

It is 54 American degrees, mostly cloudy, 64 at night, low 46, rain possible after 10 a.m. let's see we got the hives where i said that humidity 88 pressure 29.71 inches 10 miles of visibility of 5 28 a.m sunrise and 8 p.m sunset only three mile an hour winds 51 on the dew point zero 0 on the UV index, and a moon phase of waxing crescent for the 10-day. We've got cloudy, occasional rain on Monday, high of 64, chance of rain 80%. Tuesday, 53 and cloudy. Wednesday, 51, mostly cloudy. Thursday, 53, cloudy.

Friday, 58, cloudy. Saturday, 60, mostly cloudy. Sunday, 59, cloudy. Monday, 59. Partly cloudy. It's like the same weather as over here. I am officially obsessed with the Living Museum of Gingerbread. It's called the Living Museum of Gingerbread,

and it is a place where you can go learn how they make gingerbread, but like medieval style. Oh. And the commercial they have for it, I'm going to let you know. I don't know who these two women are, but it's like two ladies dressed up in I don't know, 15th century outfits.

And I've never been more attracted. It might be the gingerbread. It's like 90% of it. But I've never been more attracted to anyone in my life. And I'm like, oh, my God, look at this gingerbread, bro. It looks so delicious. I want to just go. Look at that. The photos of this place look so cool.

It looks like a place where you could take your kids and really have a good ass time. And by kids, I mean me. And then I make and eat all the gingerbread cookies. Yeah, that does sound something like you would do. Probably, you'd probably have like a couple alcoholic beverages. Oh, yeah. Go out and get like sausage and booze beforehand. Maybe like a pierogi.

Right? And then go there. Nothing like loading up on potatoes and then heading to get gingerbread cookies. Yeah, I know. That sounds fantastic. I love this. Yo, that's

this gingerbread, this gingerbread gingerbread city guard. What? What? Oh, no, that's just a terrible headline. A gingerbread city guard. What? What? Oh, no. That's just a terrible headline. A gingerbread city guards its secrets. I thought they had guards like gingerbread guards. I was like, whoa.

I mean, they still might. Maybe that's the secret. The secret. The gingerbread guard secret is they have gingerbread guards. Yeah. You never would expect it. Wait, isn't there like a big Teutonic Knight

castle in Poland? Is that where this is? Maybe. That's what they were saying that this was the... Teutonic Castle Ruins. Oh yeah, I think that is it. Here, hold on. Look at this. Teutonic Castle Ruins. Yo, that is old. Like that's

old. That is old. It is basically a old. Yeah. It is basically a wall. Yeah, it's... There's some interesting masks. One of the masks looks like what I imagine

when we played Goblins D&D. Do you see this guy? Yeah, I see that. Literally looks like a goblin. Like, it looks like Crandor's character from the game we played that's so crazy like look at these places and you're like hey look at this old ass thing and

just realize like i used to just be where people live yeah it's uh it's always strange to look at ruins and be like a thousand years ago some dude was like this is my home and now it is crumbling rocks yeah yeah i mean i guess that in a thousand years from now that'll be most of our stuff too that's true it could be the world my apartment won't be my apartment won't be around in 50 years going la yeah yeah oh that's Honestly, the worst part about the medieval ages, if you had a headache, you can't even take an Advil or something. Oh, they just give you leeches.

Yeah, leeches for headaches. Yeah, suck out the blood. Is that an actual thing? I'm sure it is. I don't know what leeches for sucking out blood is, but I know about headaches. Yeah, to relieve the pressure. I'm sure they did that.

Leeches for headaches dude i'm telling you this is a thing leech creates a strong reflex action that acts as a muscle relaxant without causing damage to ligaments tendons or paraspinal muscles yes they would definitely do it migraine leeches they're called stop what the shit no i'm all right i'm all right i don't need that i thought we were gonna find something that was like 500 years ago this is the thing they do i'm literally looking at arizona leech therapy yeah of course it's arizona okay cool cool we still doing that all right yeah yeah yeah yeah that is yeah look at this this lady literally at 2022 i had chronic migraines for five years then i discovered a cure leeches dude that's i don't know how i feel about that

uh i looked up leeches online and read that hyrudotherapy dated back to 400 bc and while leeches were used for centuries as treatment for a variety of ailments, the practice had fallen out of favor in the early 17th century. Well, why did it fall out of favor? Just because they ran out of leeches? Just because sticking leeches to your body is, like, weird and creepy. I don't know. I mean, it is.

It also could be due to religious reasons, right? Yeah, that's true. I don't know. I mean, it also could be due to religious reasons, right? Yeah, that's true. I don't know. Where someone was like, it is sucking the blood, the Lord's blood. You know how that shit is. Yeah. Okay, listen to this. So she says, this is the experience, all right?

This is the, I said. I lay there obediently for 30 minutes. The slight pain of the leeches commencing their work was akin to what I felt in the hospital when my newborn son learned to latch onto my breast. When Irina came back into the treatment room, she was carrying a box of cling wrap and a bag of Kotex pads. I eyed her suspiciously. I would too. Time to wrap you up, my darling, she chirped.

No, I would be so out of there. And proceeded to take each sucking, clinging leech off me. Blood started to flow from all the puncture holes. She swiftly arranged several pads to absorb the spurting blood, then wrapped

the cling wrap around me several times very snugly didn't keep the pads in place i pulled my sweater on and practiced breathing in my post-leech corset i left irena armed with more cotex to change the dressings and instructions to text her pictures of the bloody pads when I changed them. That's too much. That's like some weird back alley treatment. Do we have bandages? No, we got cling wrap. I'll wrap you up. Oh, okay. We have gauze

or something. We have alcohol to sanitize. No, we got cling wrap. Kotex pads. It's just too much. Plus, do the leeches get dirty? Do they clean themselves? How do they even work?

How do leeches work is a question I never thought I would ever have to think about. How do leeches work? What if they're using these leeches for a a bunch of people and somebody you know like it's blood are you like trying like do the bleaches got like leftover blood from their last imagine leeches would get full right right so they wouldn't use the same ones

right away yeah i don't know bro i don't know plus Bro, I don't know. Plus, like, maybe if this was like a like an approved medical establishment, I'd be like, alright, they know what they're doing, but this lady, I don't know if I trust this, just Irina in Arizona. Yeah, I don't I don't know.

Yeah. So if anybody knows, if there's any leech experts out there, please let us know. Wait, okay. I need to see how she even discovered this. She says, I thought I had tried everything in the last five years when Tatiana, a mother at my daughter's elementary school, advised me to try leech therapy. The tall, striking woman confided that she routinely used the therapy for cosmetic purposes. Wait, what would it be something like? What is that stupid thing?

Botox maybe maybe oh, yeah, that's all I could think of Any clue Yeah, I don't know it was oh This is this is all happening from the treatment room, which was on the bottom level of her townhouse. So this is just literally in some woman's home that all this is happening. That is, yeah. Well, I don't doubt that it works, but I don't think. Granted, migraines do suck, so maybe you get desperate.

I don't know. I mean, I have to believe that, yeah, it's a desperation thing where you're like, I'll try anything. And I guess it works for some people. I don't know. I feel like there's an ickfacker for me where I'd be like, you know, asking, again, the same questions you are. How do leeches work? I'd be like, hold on. What's the, like, what's going on here?

Yeah. How do leeches work?'d be like hold on what's the like what's going on here yeah yeah how do leeches work somebody answer our question and uh that's the weather all right let's go to sports sports oh boy welcome to the sports desk we've got a lot of sports happening. Currently, in the NBA playoffs, we've got the Heat up two games to one on the Bucs. We've got the Celtics going up 3-1 on the Hawks. We've got the 76ers sweeping the Nets.

We've got the Knicks beating the Cavaliers 3-1. They just need one more. Timberwolves currently down 3-0 to the Nuggets. That game 4 is going on right now. Nuggets might sweep them. Lakers up 2-1 on the Grizzlies. The Kings and Warriors are tied at two games apiece.

We got the Suns up 3-1 on the Clippers. And I believe those are all the NBA games. Then in hockey, we also got playoffs going on. Then in hockey, we also got playoffs going on. We got the Kings and the Edmonton Oilers battling it out. And currently that is LA leading the series 2-1. And they're up 3-0 over the Oilers right now. Mamma mia.

You got the Hurricane up 3-1 on the Islanders. You got the Bruins up 3-1 on the Panthers. You got the Stars wild tied at two games apiece. And where are we? Next games. Then we got the, wait, Monday. There you are. Then we have the Rangers up 2-1 on the Devils.

We got the Maple Leafs up 2-1 on the Lightning. Golden Knights up 2-1 on the Jets. and the Avalanche up 2-1 on the Kraken. Then over in baseball, we've got the Tampa Bay Rays at 19-3. And right behind them is the Baltimore Orioles at 14-7. Surprisingly, the last place

teams over there are the Yankees and the Red Sox. That's kind of fun. I mean, that is a reversal of fortunes. Yeah. That is a reversal. I like it. We got the Twins atop the Central, the Texas Rangers atop the West, the Braves and the Mets battling out in the East,

the Pirates and the Brewers atop the Central with the Cubs close behind, and the Diamondbacks and the Dodgers and the Padres all battling out in the West. Also, the Colorado Rockies mascot was attacked while dancing on the dugout.

Well, of course. He is a purple dinosaur named Dinger. And a drunk man climbed up and tried to tackle him and did, and then Dinger got up and was like, get off of me, and then they got that guy out of there.

Don't mess with Dinger, dude, all right? Don't do it. Don't mess with him. He's just a dinosaur, and his team's in last place, all right? Let him dance. And that's sports. Okay, what is our fact of the day? We've got the Australian government banned the word mate for a day.

Sorry, what? The Australian government banned the word mate for a day. So no one can be like, good night, mate. Exactly. Good night. But, why? What was the reasoning? That's a good question.

There are probably slang or informal words that get on your nerves from time to time, particularly when you think about something that should be taken seriously. In 2005, Australian Parliament took a few citizens' complaints a little too seriously and banned anyone on their staff from using the word mate while at work. Fortunately, Prime Minister John Howard objected, claiming that mate was an important part of Australian culture and the ban was overturned within 24 hours. Yeah, I mean, I would agree with that. I feel like it's an important part of the culture.

Yeah. Yeah, that's one of the main things I think of when I think of Australia. Right. That and, you know, I don't know. Drop bears. Yeah. And the emu wars oh yeah you got a the emu wars are a staple yeah i mean other than that that's pretty much it yeah i don't know anything else about australia i've been there three times i don't know yeah and uh steve erwin

uh here's another fact just because because it randomly was right below it that isn't really surprising, but I guess it kind of is, but it's not. Apple pie isn't actually American. Well, no shit. Yeah. Most food isn't American. It was brought over with us.

Well, but they always go like, it's American as apple pie. That's because in America we love apple pie. I mean, that's true, but like hot dogs aren't American, yet it's the American like thing. Right. I guess really everything here isn't truly American. Right. It's all like from somewhere else.

The most Americanized stuff is still like when, when you think of, like, southern cuisine, right? Like, good southern food. That still is from somewhere else, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was perfected and changed and crafted. Like, if you're in Louisiana and you're having Creole, that is a combination of other cuisines put together, right? So, it's not, you know, nothing is truly American, except for maybe corn.

Yeah. That's pretty American. That's American as shit. That's true. That is. Other than that, like, I don't know. Apples originally come from Asia. The first pies were baked in medieval Europe.

Even the concept of putting apples in pie traces back to a recipe from England in 1381. Nevertheless, the phrase, as American as apple pie, turned up by 1924 and became a common saying during the years of the Second World War. I believe that.

That's when we're kind of riding high on our own ego. That's true. I can just picture that in an ad. We're like, We also just named foods for places without really French fries are not from France, but they had them in France

for the first time, so it became French fries. We clearly don't care about other people's cultures. Yeah, that's true. It's ours now! So those are facts of the day. Can you imagine being the first guy to make an apple pie in the 1300s? Just like,

so, I put the apples in the pan and bake. It's good, no? And everyone's like, no! I wonder if they were thrilled and thought the dude was like a wizard. You know what I mean?

They probably did, yeah. Actually, when was the first pie ever made? I'm sure the first pie was a meat pie. Absolutely. It had to have been, yeah. Probably pre-ancient Rome, I would say. To take unleavened bread of some sort and stick meat in it and then bake it off?

I'm sure that happened all the time. Let's see. The history of pie. Roman pies. The origin of pie date back to the early Egyptian culture. back to the early egyptian culture their pie had a honey filling encased in a crusty cake baked made or cake made from barley oats rye or wheat one egyptian tablet created before 2000 bc provided a recipe for chicken pie both sound delicious it shows the nation like both sweet and savory pies the ancient gree Greeks got in on the pie business

around the 5th century BC. The pie pastries mentioned in the plays of Aristophanes and Heben suggest there was a vocation of pastry chef totally separate from a baker. The pie that we know as a top and bottom crust pie was probably developed in the 2nd century BC. Ah, okay. The recipe is in De Agri Cultura

by Marcus Porcius Cato, Cato the Elder, and maybe the earliest recipes for a closed pie. So there's other pies, but the first pie that we know with a top-bottom crust would be then, I guess. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I like it. Look at that. Yeah, that's neat.

Okay. Wait, was that sports? No, that was our fact of the day. That's your fact of the day. All right, let's go to our big news story. So there wasn't any crazy news I saw, so I went to Cosmopolitan. Oh, lovely. We're back here again back here again and here's numerous articles let me know if any of these interest you all right hit me all right the top things are currently cheers to these 20 cheap drinks that are ridiculously easy to make

at home nope sucks it's official you like hard seltzer now nope sucks uh 22 amazing houses for bachelorette party weekend nope that sucks we got uh let's see here what's the deal with tiktok's viral knee thing nope i don't even want to know I don't want to know what it is. The Dom Sub Dynamic Define. Mind you. The Dom Sub? Nah, nah, I'm alright. Mind you, this article literally has this as the picture for it.

For people who are curious, it's a man licking a woman's boots. That's the image. And then on one of the boots, just to clarify it says dom just in case you didn't know just in case you didn't understand yeah yeah um we have uh women are statistically less likely to swipe right on dudes with cats i don't know is right good or bad i don't know i'm moving on i don't care i don't know uh we have uh mike kink boning in the bathroom at fancy restaurants obviously the obviously part is what upsets me that does

upset me too yeah if i would be interested until the comma obviously like Like, nah, I don't care anymore. Yeah. Obviously. Like, what? How is that obvious? Yeah. Okay. Cool. Let's see. We've got apartment essentials. Nah, I don't care.

Dude, this website sucks. I feel like it's not for us, dude. I feel like, I don't know, something about it. Low-key smart ways to get out of working today. Okay, I'm kind of interested in this one. Yeah, all right. Let's hear about low-key smart ways. Yeah, here we go.

Getting out of your super cozy bed and going to work is never easy. Between contemplating life's purpose to mindlessly scrolling tiktok with one eye shut because it just refuses to open why would you ever want to leave even if you love your job more than anything you'd prob still choose your sweet sweet relaxation over back-to-back you could have wrote probably you could it's it's an article you could have wrote. It's not a tweet. You don't have to say letters. This is this is a problem. Probs.

Probs. If you're down to tell a small white lie believable enough to get you a little weekday chill day, I've got you covered. Wait, so they're just going to give us lies. Yeah. you covered so wait so they're they're just gonna give us lies so yeah so what you're saying is the best ways to get out of work is to lie about people been doing that forever this isn't a hot new scoop what are you telling me the best way to get out of work lie about it like no shit this is oh my god so there's like a bunch i just scroll. This is the one I saw at the bottom. When I scroll down. I stubbed my toe really

badly. These are the worst. If I ever got a call from an employee that said I stubbed my toe really badly. They're like, alright, well then, you know, don't sit on it for like 20 minutes and then come in. Like, you know, lift your leg up, put some ice on it, and then come in like you know lift your leg up put some mice on it

and then come in a stubbed toe get out like you'll buy yourself 20 minutes max with me i'm not i'm playing that game they got my cat is having kittens and somebody said i skipped work because my boyfriend surprised me with tickets to see beyonce and jay-z i ended up telling my boss my cat was having kittens and I needed to be there for emotional support. Would the boss not be like, yo, can I like see the kittens? Yeah, I mean, I guess one of those things is like if they say

that, then you can say, you don't believe me! You know, then they take it to the next level and they freak out and then the boss is the bad guy. I think that's what they're trying to go for, I guess. Yeah, but then at that point, you're like, this person's crazy. Yeah, yeah.

God, what are these? My bathtub fell through the ceiling? I decided to take a girl's trip to Vegas for my bachelorette party and told my boss that my bathtub fell through my ceiling and I would be out for three days because of the repairs and he totally bought it. Got him. Got him got him

So I thought it's gonna be like creative things like say you're hanging out with the president, you know Say you stubbed your toe when you have kittens, that's a double whammy. Oh, yeah, cool. Somebody said I texted my boss that I had to have an emergency root canal the day before and I wasn't allowed to talk for two days. It worked. Okay, so you did that. Maybe this article should be things that you've done when you realize you don't like your job and you should move on.

That should be the title of this. It should be like top 10 signs your job is not for you. You faked a stubbing your toe. You told your boss you had a root canal. You had kittens. Like all those things are just a sign that you hate your job. Yeah. Like just like this is plus.

Okay. A root canal. I'd be like, yeah, I mean, I literally had a root canal. I was fine. That's not like you had jaw surgery. It's not like you're coming into work to

kiss people. It's fine. You're alright. Unless you work at the kissing factory, in which case, where is that? How do I get a job there? I'd leave YouTube in a heartbeat. Where'd Jesse go? Oh, here he works at the kissing factory now. Oh, that's good for him.

Like, what? Okay, what's another thing? They also have how to brag about your life without being a jerk. So, how do you do that? We're in a time that is uniquely hard scary and dire a lot of my clients or friends come to me worried that talking about their wins amid so much death and economic hardship is tacky as hell this is the same thing that when you see people who constantly talk about how hard financial times are and things like that and then they buy something

insane. You see it all the time in the YouTube space where YouTubers will be like, yeah, it's so hard out there. And then they'll buy something. Guys, look at this new thing I just bought. Two videos ago you were talking about how you had no money where'd that come from yeah yeah they're like yeah guys it's

rough out there then they're like at coachella or like at a concert like front row seats right yes okay and you're just like come on now yeah um a lot of stuff to put it literally as nice as possible sucks right now like they keep saying that but like sure it can suck but like we're not living in like the medieval times like right now man like stuff always sucked in fact back then just like, you'd probably worry you'd get assassinated by the rival kingdom or something. You know? Now stuff sucks in a different way. But stuff always sucks. Yeah.

Back then, you get, like, something wrong with you. Like, you do surgery. They're like, nah, you're done. I've never understood bragging about, like, buying things. It's always seemed weird to me. Like, I spent a ridiculous sum of money on this thing. Look at me. Like, cool, I guess?

Like, congrats? Like, it always seemed weird to me. Is this, okay. They said, I've learned that flexing can make people feel uncomfortable. Thing is, once they understand that sharing their work matters and leads to being rewarded for their efforts it gets a lot less awkward let me break this down a bit we all know someone at work or in life who gets more praise money or opportunity while doing less and that might be because they're just better communicating their wins bragging all those dudes who make those videos they're like these are my 12 cars oh yeah people buy into that shit so easily and you're

like oh that's true all right i guess i guess yeah i guess stupid breed stupid who knew people buy into a lot of stuff that i'm like this is super fake like all the time yeah like especially on youtube or tiktok or any of those places like right away i'm like oh this is fake and there's people being like i can't believe that they do. Like, I'm like, are these people as gullible? Are they like 15? Are they both? I don't know.

It's just maybe because we're like doing this all the time. It just is obvious. But I don't know. Honestly, I have no clue. I don't. You would think it's obvious just in general. But I don't like you would think it's obvious just in general but I don't know man then it says first know that your voice is worthy okay I mean sure you can you know

being like hey this is my opinion on something and tell it to people like okay as long as you're not being like yeah I'm kind of cool and then it says accept that, okay, as long as you're not being like, yeah, I'm kind of cool. And then it says, except that bragging is just part of being good at what you do. This is, this is like an article written by a bragger to make themselves feel better about this is because there's, there's no, if you are successful and you constantly brag about how successful you are, that rubs everyone the wrong way. And it should because you're bragging and you learned as a child nobody likes bragging. Yeah. Like there's a reason. It's not that hard to figure out.

Just – no one likes when you rub success in their face right it's just a courtesy thing like you can be proud of your wins awesome good on you but to rub it in someone else's face when you don't know their situation and if they're going through a rough time you made that worse for them yeah and i know people are gonna be like well it's not about them i'm focusing on me you can also do that without bragging yeah well but like they say here bragging not only shows the good work you're doing but it also inspires others to work better that is not true because bragging is saying something in a boastful manner according to the dictionary right so like if you're saying something in a boastful manner like oh man that was the easiest thing i've ever done most people

would be like this guy this person's a dick right that's not gonna be like wow i want to be like them like it would be like that but there is this kind of weird thing where sometimes people when they brag about their success, people tune in to see their bragging, right? But I would love to know the longevity of that kind of thing. Because after a while, people tune in. It's just like when people tune in for shock. After a while,

eh, kind of over it. Like, eh, you know, I'm alright. And then they just say, make it a priority to show the good stuff you've done like okay that's normal you don't have to brag about it you just be like hey i did some cool stuff and people be like yo that's pretty sick dude be like nice then you move on i feel like maybe because we have it happen more often than most people we're just so over it because most conversations you have with youtube people or industry people or really anyone in la for example someone always drops a number or drops an amount of money or drops a like follower count or drops

some weird success thing or the person they just hung out with that's important. And it always happens. You're just like, yo, we're just friends. You don't need to do that. You don't need to do all that. Yeah, that's very true. That's a very common thing in this industry.

Just like, what's your sub count? Viewer count? How many people watch you? What's your thing? Who do you know? It's just like, uh's your sub count? Viewer count? How many people watch you? What's your thing? Who do you know? It's just like, okay. And it sucks because it absolutely, you're being judged on it, right? Like certain levels of success do not associate with other levels.

Like if you're in the top 0.1%, you associate with the other top 1% people, right? And if you're not in that top 0.1%, you could be in the top 1% and you're still not% people, right? And if you're not in that top 0.1%, you could be in the top 1% and you're still not good enough, right? Like they, we've had experience. People just ditch you to go like hang with the more important people

because now they're in your friend group because that's how millionaires are. And you're like, oh my God, you're the worst. Yeah, it happens and it sucks. Yeah. The moral of the story here is that this article is dumb and Cosmo

is dumb agreed and that's it oh right well that is it for us thanks so much for listening or watching or having joined this podcast Crandor hit up with the socials oh boy we've got socials you can listen to all the podcasts over here on youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor, hit them with the socials. Oh, boy, we've got socials. You can listen to all the podcasts over here on YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast, all one word.

In fact, I just recently went through all of our podcasts and they introduced the podcast playlist feature. And so now if you go to our channel page and you scroll down a bit, you'll see that all of the podcasts are organized by year. So you can listen to all the 2023 episodes, 2022 episodes, 2021 episodes, etc. I mean, all of it, I'm sure, very worth it. Very worth it. So it's, you know, it's an option if you want to.

It's an option. It's an option. You can also go to youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor. That's where all the animations are. That's where the funny bits get animated by Dan. Wow. Also, we're on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud, all those places. Then we got our main stuff.

We got patreon.com slash Jesse Cox, patreon.com slash Crandor, youtube.com slash Jesse Cox, youtube.com slash Crandor, Twitch TV Jesse Cox, Twitch TV Crandor, Facebook Jesse Cox, Facebook.com slash Crandor. YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox, YouTube.com slash Crandor. Twitch TV, Jesse Cox, Twitch TV, Crandor. Facebook, Jesse Cox, Facebook, Crandor. TikTok, Jesse Cox, TikTok, TikTok, Crandor. Twitter, Jesse Cox, Twitter, Crandor. Warhammer, Crandor. Cox Clips on YouTube.

Cren Clips on YouTube. Instagram, Notorious Cox. Instagram, Crandor was taken. You had like a breakdown there at the end, but I'm here for it. Break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break,