Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 386- The Bear Conspiracy

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

https://www.ticketweb.com/event/cox-n-crendor-bottom-lounge-tickets/13241238?pl=kickstand The boys are back and this time Crendor spends time with his family watching old TV shows, which of course leads the boys down a rabbit hole of old TV they've never seen. Then Crendor's streaming leads to the question - would he shave his beard or cut his hair? Would he get awesome viking dreads? Then a bear dsicovers cupcakes, which is only half as exciting as the Jesse discover Duck Donuts. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://hellofresh.com/cox16 and use code cox16 for 16 free meals plus free shopping.

Today's episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is gonna get that good food all up inside of you. Now let's jump into this podcast! Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! The broadcast is live, live, live, live, live! In 4 hour and 40 minutes.

Recorded! Live, live, live, live, live. In 4-Hour Reporting Studios. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's the Cacks and Crandall in the morning. Cacks and Crandall in the morning. Hello, everybody.

Welcome to another episode of Cacks and Crandall in the morning. Hey. Oh. Oh. You are in some sort of spirits today uh yeah i guess okay well maybe not um i'm doing all right i'll take it you get up to anything wacky goofy fun this week uh let's see wacky goofy fun uh let's see today Wacky, goofy, fun. Uh, let's see. Today we celebrated my mom's birthday. Oh, how was that? Uh, well, it's Memorial Day's tomorrow.

So, she was like, why don't we have a barbecue? And then my, uh, my grandma, my aunt and stuff were there and then we just had a barbecue. And then, uh, yeah, it was a good time. I like growing. How's the family? Everyone falling apart?

Everyone good? Always. Always falling. In fact, my dad was like the bursitis in my shoulder. The bursitis. They can give you a shot, steroid shot. So I go to him. They say, put it in.

He gives me the shot, you know, and it moves. I can move now. I can sleep. I can, you know, hopefully I can play golf. I'm good. You know what's crazy? Knowing that, you know, like, oh, my shoulder. I can, you know, hopefully I can play golf. I'm good. You know what's crazy? Knowing that, you know, like, oh, my shoulder. I can't move my shoulder.

I need this shot. And then when you can move your shoulder, being like, now how do I abuse the time I have being able to move this? I'm going to go golfing. I'm going to go lift weights. I'm going to go, like, carry boxes. I don't know if that's going to help or hurt, but, like, I mean, do you? I don't know if that's going to help or hurt, but like, I mean, do you? Yeah. There's gotta be like exercises or something you do to help it while you

feel good. I would imagine. It does sound a lot like you though. You definitely, you know, the apple of your father's eye because you are just like, yeah. So I couldn't, I couldn't move for a few days, but now I can move. So I, when I worked out and now I can't move anymore. Yeah, it definitely does sound like that.

That's probably where I get it from. Yeah. Let's see. Then we're watching old people TV, which they're like, we watch. They're watching PBS, uh, something. And they had Lawrence Welk on. Lawrence Welk. What year is it?

What are you doing? It was some 1960s like stuff. Let me tell you, maybe seventies. There literally was a PBS Lawrence Welk show. Yeah. And that was old. I mean, it's black and white. I went online to look it up.

His, I mean, it's black and white and, or recolored. Yeah. Well, the one we were watching, it was,

it adds color to it. So maybe that was towards the end. He did look older. So I guess maybe he was younger when it started and then eventually color television. Then he, you know, they got color television and there you go. I mean, it's definitely what's crazy is it's like it's our on PBS.

I'm looking at it right now. They're like, we're broadcasting the Lawrence Welk show. Yeah. Watch the carnival episode when the carnival comes to town. No, I'm all right. No, it was very much like, here's some old timey things. They'd be like, here's the, the, who the sisters and the sisters are just like, we like to sing and we're singing our song. And they're like dancing a bit, but not too much.

It's like too much dancing. That's the devil, you know? So they were doing that and singing and it's like a variety talent show but without the judgment so less fun what's crazy is lawrence welk i assume having been dead for quite some time right and the show having been off the air for quite some time. Still, I guess, on PBS. This is the stats. Lawrence Welk Show airs each week on 279 public television stations nationally and is seen by more than 3 million people

each week. Lawrence Welk is doing better than us. Damn. Yeah, this guy. I mean, he is dead. 3 million people listen every week or watch every week. I would love to have three million people every week. Watch anything I do.

That would be pretty great. Yeah. This guy. Basically, what you're saying is I need to get on 279 public TV stations and I guess probably be dead. Maybe I'm like an artist where my genius won't really be appreciated until long after I'm gone. Yeah, that's probably what you gotta do.

Yeah, that seems sensible. They used to watch MeTV, but I don't think they watch that anymore. What is MeTV? That's like the... They show all the old shows on it. Oh my God. America's number one classic network. You, oh boy.

Yeah. Oh boy, this is. You got your Andy Griffith show. Yep. Yeah, you're like old timey Batman, Bonanza, the Brady bunch, Carol Burnett, the,

the Dick Van Dyke show. There you go. Gilligan's Island. Oh yeah. Like it's these shows. I can't believe it. There's a show called California and me. Yeah.

Oh, let's save it. That's so funny. California and me air Sundays at 730 a.m. only in Los Angeles, and it examines the issues and topics relevant to the state of California, its peoples, and its communities. That is hilarious. Yeah, I don't see it.

No wonder. Yeah, you don't get it, dude. I wish I did. California and me. Oh, right, because it's me TV. All right, never mind. It's checking out. Yeah, you don't get it, dude. I wish I did. California and me. Oh, right, because it's MeTV. All right, never mind. It's checking out. Yeah, yeah.

So they just show a bunch of these old shows. And that's it. Can you imagine if there was a show today named Have Gun, Will Travel? That's the name of a show. Have Gun, Will Travel. Oh, yeah, there it is. that's the name of a show have gun will travel oh yeah there it is i guess it's an old-timey western so i mean that's still what a name i'm more obsessed with the fact that there's a show called svengoolie oh yeah svengoolie has been the premier horror show icon of chicago since the late. Yeah, I remember he used to come on TV, and I'd be like, what the shit?

Spangoolie. Yeah. 8 p.m., 7 p.m. on most MeTV stations. Whenever he came on TV, you just watch old movies and react or something. I never watch-watched it, but... All right, that's cool. Yeah. It's basically YouTube, but that's cool.

Yeah, pretty much. This is YouTube before YouTube. They're already doing it. That's true. History repeats itself. You know, it's sad, but you're right. Yeah. So yeah, I don't know. That's what they're watching.

Such old shows. And then my dad will just be like, you know, they're not like they used to be with the old Lawrence Welk and all these people. And I'm like, I mean, that's true. And I'm kind of glad because I don't think I'd want to watch this. Cool. Man, that's like when I go to my parents' house and they're like, so you're here for a little bit.

Let's watch TV. And the things that they want to watch are like the weird show they recorded on public access or the weird documentary they recorded or the last 25 minutes of some sort of sporting event that they kind of sort of recorded or it's just on TV in the background or any black and white Western. Oh, my dad will then spend 25 minutes being like,

Oh, you know this one, right? You know this one. I'm like, I don't, I don't know what this is. It's like,

Oh, well this one has flit, hard tackle and John C. Coolman. And they were these, they were very famous at the time for being cowboys. You'll also notice that the guy who's playing the bandito was actually an Italian man named Singarelli Fortune Favor.

I'm like, no, I didn't. I didn't know. He died from drugs. Yeah. I just sit there and he'll be like, oh, that's that guy from the movie. Like, what movie? He's like, you know, the one where he's like you know the one where he's like a convict but he's like on the run and he's he has a camaro you know the camaro and i'm like i don't i don't know anything about movies before the 80s i just don't

yeah or they'll watch like the news yeah and then they'll sit there and they'll talk shit on like whoever's hosting the news they're like she thinks she's so funny yeah the news is just like a show for people to criticize whoever's giving the news or for them to like if you almost like mini celebrity type because they'll be like oh i see judy goutman's on the news today and they're like i never liked her i know she was a little weird i heard i heard she had an affair with uh the hockey player like oh man yep they're like oh what about the weather here comes the weatherman robert robertson and he's just like hey it's me the weatherman and they're just like oh it's gonna be raining and i'm like yeah i know i looked it on my looked it up on my phone and so it's gonna rain and they're like yeah but here he's doing doing the radar hold on He's doing the radar next.

There it is. The rain. And I'm like, yep, there it is. That sounds very similar to my parents, which is pretty funny where they're just like, uh,

you know, we'll watch like a holiday special. My mom, every time it's the holiday time and time we'll watch whatever holiday. It doesn't matter what it is. Like there might be a Memorial day holiday special where, you know, they show this video. My mom will record it because she wants to watch it later. Then I'll be around.

Then we'll watch it. And then she'll put it on and it'll be like, hello, I am Maria Espososa. And this is the Memorial Day celebration. I am joined by John Smithington. And he'll be like, hello, Maria. So nice to be here. And my parents the entire time will be like, whoa, she's on cocaine, isn't she?

And then my dad will be like, this guy, no charisma, no talent. It's so funny. It's like roast everyone. And then they'll bring out a performer. It's like a high school band of like 12 year olds. And they're like, parents will be like oh this isn't very good is it oh my god that's like the the fourth of july you know that one yeah they always do a capital fourth and yes yes and they have like the fireworks and the music yeah and then every time like like

gotta turn it on turn on that capital fourth they always put it on someone like falls asleep watching it someone else is like watching it but just like kind of like actually listening and paying attention and then i'm always just the person just watching for stuff to make fun of because that's me that is one that is my family again like they'll put on something that i don't want to watch but i'm being a trooper and i'll sit there and watch it with them because whatever and then my dad halfway through will get up and either go to the bedroom or go to the roof and disappear for the rest of the show and my mom will then proceed to get up and down 12 times go to the kitchen disappear for like 20 minutes at a time come back

go back like do anything else and I'm left sitting there watching this thing and she's like don't worry you don't have to pause it I go I didn't I trust me I can pause this I don't need to watch this okay you gotta pause it and then they'll come back in and I'm on my phone.

They're like, you don't like it? Oh my god. Or a lot of times I'll just be like, I always get bad vibes from some people. Like, they'll be like, who's the one? This was like capital 4th of July thing too. Who was hosting it? Those on Full House. John Stamos. Yeah? John Stamos.

Yeah, John Stamos. It's always John Stamos. I have this deep down. It's always John Stamos. Well, they got rid of him like a year ago or something. He'll be back. Stamos will always be back. John Stamos just gives me like weird vibes.

He's Uncle Jesse, dude. He eats yogurt. He's going to live to be 200 i get it but i feel like he just he gives me like weird vibes like he would like drink a lot and yell at someone sure but that's you know most of the actors in hollywood let's not pretend that's also true yeah yeah let's not that's very true um but then uh and he would always just play with the beach boys and i feel like that's why he took the whole gig so he got to play the drums with or the guitar with the beast boy or the the beast boys the beach boys yeah they just come out that's a holiday special i would watch they're like and now the Beastie Boys. I'd be like, yeah, let's go. My parents would be like, they're so loud.

There's like, instead of the Beach Boys, we got the Beastie Boys. That would be great. I can't wait for the time when that's a thing. Because right now it's like the Beach Boys and like the 70-year-olds are like, oh, I love it. But, you know, if I can make it to 70, I want to see a show where it's like, and now the Beastie Boys, it's the old ass 80-year-old Beastie Boys. Like, come on, y'all. It's a sabotage.

Yeah. And they got to keep the format. They got to keep the format. Because, like, as we get old, we'll probably enjoy that format more. That's what I'm saying. Like, here's the special show. And they'll be like, no, sleep till 4th of July fireworks. Here they come.

And you're like, yeah, here they come. Yeah, Beastie Boys. I'd like throw my walker around. Like, yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, take that, society. That's the Beastie Boys right there i love them oh it hurts you know that's bad for your heart so yeah that'll that'll be a good time yeah the host then would be uh it has to be someone younger than the Beastie Boys who wants to be with the Beastie Boys.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Probably, what the hell is that kid's name who's in Dune? What? The really skinny kid who definitely doesn't look like he'd lift any sort of weight. Oh, is it Timothy? Timothy Chalamet, yeah. Chalamet, yeah. That dude is definitely going to be the guy who hosts everything.

I can see that. A hundred percent. Yeah. It's weird. Cause like, even when my, when I go play my Warhammer stuff at my local game store, there's always like a wide variety of ages.

Like there's people in their fifties and sixties and like, cause they got into Warhammer back then. But then there's kids that are like 20, like 19. And there's one that looks exactly like him. And he's just the nerdiest person. Every single friend group has one kid who looks

like Timothee Chalamet. Timothee Chalamet is like Johnny normal human. There's nothing particularly stunning about his appearance, except that he could blend in with any crowd. That dude could just blend in and people would be like, yeah, no,

he's always been here. Yeah. He also looks, uh, he looks younger than he is. He was born in 95. he looks like he'd be like early 20s he got that young gene and and look as a person who who has been blessed with a little bit of that i'm here for it yeah i got that too i look like i'm in my 20s still i uh those those

photos we used to take way back when i looked like a little baby i was 29 at the time 29 yeah i got a baby i was like all right hell yeah so i'll take it oh wow yeah you're right i even because i was like 21 22 saying you look young i still look i look ridiculously young and it's like dude i was 29 in that photo yeah i mean the main reason I just think I have my beard now. That's like if I shave the beard, I would still probably look like that. Yeah, I'd probably go back to baby face. Little chubby baby face. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't want to know, though. I like my beard. It's too late. The beard stays on forever. It's too late. And the hair. Need no longer hair.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's see, the thing is with your hair, you gotta, like... I don't know. We need to get you to style it crazy. Yeah. I know you don't want to do this. Right. Yep.

Have you considered awesome Viking dreads? I mean, that could be cool. But I don't know. It could be very cool. I like... I like more just doing a man bunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, of course you do because it's easy. But what if Viking dreads?

What if you got someone to come in and, like, give you dope-ass Viking dreads? So you look like you would hurt someone. Plus, you got the muscles. You can flex on them. And so you look like you would hurt someone. Plus you got the muscles. You can flex on them. Like, my name is Kren Vindland, and I am here to take your fish.

Fish? Yeah, fish. That checks out. Yeah. I mean, I'd do that for a week. I don't know. You may like it. It may become a thing that you do all the time.

That's true. I feel like Sam is going down that arc. He would probably do that. Yeah, I mean, right now for sure. Because he's like his last vestiges of give it five years and he'll have a kid who's like embarrassed to be around him. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. A hundred percent. Like he's got it.

He's trying to get it out now. Yeah. And so, you know, you don't have to worry about that. You're living your best life. He's also not had any sleep since Brooklyn. Every time. That's a full circle right there. Every time I talk to him, he's just like, I don't sleep.

Like, even when I played the other week, shout out to my youtube.com slash crendclips channel, I played Fortnite with Dodger. And in order for us to play, I was like, when do you normally play games? And she was like, I play from British time 9 a.m. until British time 1 p.m. or something. And I was like, all right, perfect.

That's exactly when I go to sleep. And so I was like, okay. I could probably play at 3 a.m. for an hour and a half because it's 3 a.m. my time. And then she was like, all right, let's do it. So we did. And we played Fortnite. It was very dumb. We had a great time. my time and then she was like all right let's do it so we did and uh we played fortnight it was

very dumb we had a great time but i was like we're like what's sam doing while you're doing she was like oh he's like here and i was like is it didn't he just stream like all yesterday like during the day and the night she was like yeah but like he's trying to reset so like and i was like that man there's no reset in anything. He needs a full life reset. We need to pull him out of his home and just shake him, violently shake him. Like, bro, stop it. You don't need to stream so much.

I did. He did his subathon for like 10 days. So he was sleeping on stream. I was like, I can never do that. Oh, yeah. I don't want to sleep on stream. Mostly because I sleep bare-ass naked. Oh, yeah.

Everybody does. Who doesn't? And I wouldn't want anyone to have to stare at my ass hanging out on the covers. Because you know I'd do that. I'd pull the covers up and just leave butt cheeks hanging out. Just leave it on stream. 100%. Yeah, every time I go to sleep, I wake up, the covers are gone,

or I've moved the blanket. I shift. I don't want people judging my sleep. Yeah, I don't need that. I've already judged all the time. I don't need to be judging my sleep, too. Yeah. So that's one reason. The other is like, I don't need to be judged in my sleep, too. Yeah. So, that's one reason.

The other is, like, I don't know. Like, non-stop. Even if you are getting, like, a billion subs. I did my own sub-a-thon that you stopped by during. I did. The non-content sub-a-thon. And you know what? It was great.

I was confusing people because they were like, oh, what's that? Like, what's the stream time at? And I was like, oh, we're actually at eight hours left. And then I was like, oh, we're up to 42 days left. And then people were like, what? Because I was doing a method where you add and subtract time randomly based on every subscription. So some subs may add 45 days,

while others may remove 45 days. But it could also only add a minute or take away a minute but i was the person controlling the timer you see and so somebody was like crendor is this just a way for you to end the stream whenever you want i was like absolutely and uh i did but you know when i streamed for 12 hours that was like that's more than i've streamed in a long time that's that's not bad that's not bad. That's not bad. It's a little too much for my blood. Although sometimes if I play a game, I'll just, and it'll be

12 hours. I'll be like, how'd that happen? That's true. We played that game for like four hours the other night. Yeah. You know what? Age of Wonders was fun. I had a good time with that. That was fun. We should play it again because I want to play Frog People now. Dude, I was the other day i played the

red-headed woman that has that that halves that halves or she has uh orc slaves i guess or like enthralled orcs and i tried to play as them and uh her whole thing is like fire so i was like trying to like stick with the theme and i was like man this is everyone's trying to fight me because I'm evil. So I decided to play the character I made for, you know, our game, my little Jessimer Moleman or whatever I called him. And my little mole empire, it was great. I built an underground mole empire, lived well. And then I was like, you know what? I think I don't need to win the game.

I think I did good. I just like shut it down and like felt good about myself. I was like, I don't even need to see the game. I think I did good. I just shut it down and felt good about myself. I was like, I don't even need to see the end. Everything was good. My mole people were fine. I was like, all right, you know what? I'm feeling good about this. I always did that in Total Warhammer.

Just being, I was expanding and you get so big. And I'm like, you know what? I've won. It's like start over. That's absolutely on the same way. Especially in Warhammer where it's like start over. That's absolutely on the same way. Especially in Warhammer where it's like, okay, I just spent five hours taking over

an entire continent. I got a whole other continent to go. Yeah, I'm just not gonna. I'm good. We all know where this is gonna go, so I'm just gonna wrap it up. Yeah, so that's fun. to wrap it up. Yeah.

So that's fun. What did you do this week? Oh, man. I spent the week trying to play catch up on just a whole bunch of nonsense. I, uh, like, so the only thing of interest that happened to me this week, uh, is I went out to lunch with my dear editor, David, uh, from back in the day who now has a job that I'll just say pays him better than I ever could. And, uh, we went to this sausage place that's like down the street. That's very, very good. Um, and it's kind of like a beer garden, like a German beer garden i think that's the one you told me about it's yeah it's some place

that if you're here we should definitely go but uh i didn't realize that i guess maybe during covid they opened up the back of it so there's like a an outside area now but the outside area is directly connected to someone's house so like the outside is right up against someone's house and i couldn't tell if it's someone who lives there also owns the restaurant or if this is just someone's house and they said i don't need a backyard i'm gonna lease you my backyard oh yeah but you're straight up in someone's backyard and it's the craziest thing I've ever seen. And the entire time I kept thinking like, there's maybe 20 seats out here and they've put gravel down and it's

clearly like, you can see the patio door. Like someone could walk out the house into the, into the restaurant. Yeah. I was like, I can't tell if this is insane or absolutely my dream. Because there's a beer garden with, I'm going to say, 70 types of beers.

I would be like, come on, let's go. Let's go get drunk. Open the door. Close the door. Hey, we're at the bar. That's pretty great. This could be, this is amazing. Yeah.

And you're probably making money from them being there. Again, I don't know what deal they have, but it wasn't like, oh, we're next door and there's a property line. The seats for this restaurant are literally up against the wall of the home. And I tried to see what was going on with the home itself, but it's sort of fenced in like most places in LA. It has a fence around it, so you can't really see what's going on. And the door has like a passcode to get in. Ah, yeah.

So I have no idea what's going on in this house, except for the fact that two walls of it are absolutely connected to this restaurant. And I was blown away. I was like this. I've always wanted to have like the apartment above the bar or the place, like the place next to the pizza place, like that kind of thing where you just have a spot or like the apartment next to the coffee shop. You can just walk over like, Hey, how's it's it going and like jesse like i've always wanted that

and for some reason this it sparked me as wow i never thought that this is a thing that was legal but here we are because i feel like there's a zoning issue i don't know, dude. I just, straight up, there is a door that leads out of this house, and I couldn't believe it. That just reminds me of the Simpsons episode, where it's Frank Grimes and he visits Homer and he's like, oh my god, you have a

giant house and a family and kids? He's like, I live in a single room above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley, and then Homer's like, wow. a single room above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley and then home is like wow yeah you have it all yeah that's what i'm saying i everyone has their own idea of perfect and for me it is living right next door to a noisy bar that i can then open my patio and go out into and be like, hey, I'm here to drink. It's like the, you just want like a cheers situation. Yeah, plus it's a place that sells incredible French fries, or I guess they're more chippy than French fries,

and like 12, 15 different types of sausage. And each sausage has like five different types of mustard or sauerkraut or onions or hot or sweet peppers. Oh my God. It's perfect. It's like a perfect little meal. That does sound fantastic. And if that was just right there, I'd like wake up, be like, yo, I'm going to

go across the street. Wait, hold on. Yo, I'm going to go into the backyard and get some rabbit and rattlesnake sausage which first off is delicious but also hilarious because it's like one ate the other and then we ate the other yeah that is funny so yeah that's for some reason i like the concept of like this thing could eat this thing, but you ate both things. That's it's funny. And I want it,

you know? Yeah. No, that is, I would, I think you would live your best life doing that. I 100% would. That's,

but the problem is, is part of me also thinks, okay, there's no way that I trust a restaurant to clean up well enough and i'm not gonna get their like weird ass bugs and stuff in my home yeah so i was also just like and i gotta deal with that and that's probably a problem or like the weird drunks who's like throw stuff at my walls oh yeah you definitely get some drunks throwing stuff oh my dreams although i could be the guy who comes out like opens the door and then screams at

the drunks from my home and then closes the door like it's their problem uh yeah you know it's it might be one of the things where it sounds better than it is. Yeah, but it sounds good, though. But it does sound good, yeah. It's definitely something I want. But would I be able to handle it? I don't know. It's a little bit of dog catching the car kind of deal.

Yeah. If I got it, I don't know that I'd be able to handle it. But I like the concept. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the big thing that happened to me this week. Where's the revelation that, like, maybe that's a thing that I could do. Well, that's good.

Not too crazy. Oh, also, two things. First off. All right. I don't know if you've seen it yet. I finally got to watch the Dungeons and Dragons movie. I have not seen it. if you've seen it yet.

I finally got to watch the Dungeons and Dragons movie. I have not seen it. Genuinely funny and entertaining and I am going to say maybe like a 9 out of 10. Oh, wow. Really entertaining.

I absolutely loved it. It's not... It is the exact same type of adventure that I imagine you and I would have. Right? It is the exact same type of adventure that I imagine you and I would have. Right? It is exactly like what you expect a Dungeons & Dragons campaign to be,

except on screen. And it is played for laughs. There's a lot of good moments. It is actually really entertaining. I was so surprised. So, yeah. I mean, I enjoyed the hell of that. So, if you haven't watched it yet, go give it a watch.

I would love a sequel. But also, this week, Cox and Crandall live tickets. Link down below or wherever you're at. It's in the description. This is all I'll say. Last Sunday, we put the episode out and everyone was like oh my god tickets i guess i don't know i don't know what was going through people's heads yeah but sunday night it was marked as sold out what the shit i know dude and people were like freaking

i was getting messages of like dude it's sell it to sell out and i was like there's no look i i love the power of us as entertainers but there's no, it's sell out. And I was like, there's no, look, I love the power of us as entertainers. But there's no way it's sold out in one day. I was like, no, no, no, there's no way. So apparently it didn't sell out. I guess what ended up happening is they only put up so many

tickets for the first run. And then those tickets sold out, but they still had tickets left. So I think there's like 50 some seats left. So get them while they're hot. They still sold quite a bit then. Oh, yeah. No, we did great.

Shout out to everyone coming to the show. I told everyone it would sell well because it's a weekend show. Like I said that. You did indeed say that. Plus, I'm going to be handing out these drawings I've made of you. Oh, so cool.

So cool. You need to have one drawing for everyone there. Oh, boy. Well, we've got to hit some more sub goals for that. So, yeah, I think there's 50 seats left. I'm sure we'll update you. The show isn't until August. But, yeah, chances are we'll

sell out because it went fast so letting you know now also everyone kept asking me the artwork that is being used for the show yeah there'll be a poster of it uh there always is and i'm sure we'll have other stuff there for you to spend your money on. Hopefully, fingers crossed, it actually gets delivered. Yeah. Uh-oh. He died. Yeah, that was me dying of frustration. By the way, that poster looks great.

Yeah. Dan does it again. I guess it's not a poster yet, but. Oh, it is. I mean, like, there is a poster form. It exists. Yeah. Plus, you know, end of August, it's usually, it's either going mean, like there is a poster form. It exists. Yeah. Plus, you know, end of August, it's usually, it's either going to be like 90 degrees or like 70 degrees.

Yeah. Plus we're in like a new location. So this should be interesting. I don't know what to expect. Yeah. The place looked pretty cool when I checked. It's got like pinball machines and shit. Yeah.

It could be super fun. It, uh, you know, I think the reason why we went to new places, we couldn't get any spots in our old place that weren't until much later in the year. And I was like, no, we want an August show. We want to do an August show. Yeah.

Once you get later in the year, you don't even know if a snowstorm is going to hit and everything's canceled. I don't know. Sometimes when I plan too far ahead, in fact, You don't even know if like a snowstorm is going to hit and everything's canceled. You don't know. This is, yeah, this is the problem. Sometimes when I plan too far ahead, in fact, every, this is a true story. Every single time I've been dating someone and I plan something a year in advance, we've always broken up before that year moment hits.

And so that thing I had planned, I'm like, well, I can either go to it by myself or I can give the tickets away like that every single time so i don't do it anymore and uh you know sorry to everyone who ever wants to date me there is no long-term plans anymore i'm like yeah i have a feeling you'll leave me before then there's your life lesson don't plan plan anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I still, uh, years ago, I'll never forget.

I went to go get tickets that Harry Potter play musical, whatever the hell it is. And, uh, and you had to buy them a year in advance. And I was like, hell yeah. And then I,

uh, got the tickets and then we broke up and then I had these tickets, which meant I would have to fly to the UK and then go see this show. I was like, nah, I just gave them away to people in the UK. I was like, I don't care that much. So I've never seen that. I probably never will now, you know? Not that I think I missed out on much, but like at the time it was all the rage and everyone was like, you got to see it. So I was like, yeah, now I just don't care. But like at the time it was it was like oh what a waste of money yeah there's been a lot of things

have happened since literally pandemics and you know authors you are correct yes i totally forgot that like yeah yeah. She's not a good person, but whatever. Yeah. Well, you know what is good? Hey! Hey! Hello Fresh, where you get farm fresh, pre-portioned ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep.

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All right, Crandor, let's jump over to Chapter Cop to some of the scouts. Crandor, I said your name way too many times. How's that traffic out there, Crandor? Thank you for saying it again. I also like the emphasis on the chapter copy. That was very intense. But up here, you know, it's pretty good. Air conditioning broke, so it's pretty hot.

And I'm sweating up here, especially. Man, it is. It's starting to get warm. Open a window! Oh, yeah. Hold on. Let me just... Oh, yeah. There it is, it's starting to get a little, uh, yeah, hold on, let me just, oh, yeah, there it is, all right, so, uh, oh, man, it might be a little too much wind in here now, but, uh, it's looking kind of traffic-y down there, uh, oh, man, I can't even, my hair's blowing all over, hold on, I gotta close this window now, Alright, yep. Okay, there we go. But anyway, what is this traffic?

That's right, it's alright. Back to you. Thanks, Grendor. Alright, let's go to weather. Weather. Let's see whether today we got a request for someone's hometown of bayaman puerto rico uh they have the oldest continuous operating rum distillery on the island hell yeah okay a full 18 hole golf course there's a very good restaurant the pueblo and has an outdoor shipping container food court

with good selection and also the local dish chicaron volau is it chicharron probably been then they say been listening four years keep up great show keep up the great show like at least from what i can see, this place is either part of San Juan or a suburb? I'm not sure what the rules are. Yeah, I don't know the rules. I don't know what the rules are. I don't know the rules,

but currently it's 81 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 87. 29.99 inches on the pressure. 74% on the humidity 10 miles visibility winds 5 miles an hour sunrise at 5.48am

setting at 6.55pm dew point 72 UV index 0 of 10 and a moon phase of waxing gibbous take a look at the old 10 day here also for some reason it just it tells you the weather and then right under it says watch caught raccoon pool

party I mean that's very important for my weather needs I mean yeah I click on it and says raccoon celebrate Memorial Day weekend pool party style and then they're just swimming around in a pool I mean yeah thanks weather.com

they know what's up yeah a pool. I mean, yeah. Thanks, weather.com. They know what's up. Yeah, thanks, weather.com. So over there, let's see. Monday, it's going to be 89, mostly cloudy. Tuesday, 90 degrees, partly cloudy. Wednesday, 91, partly cloudy. Thursday, 90 with PM showers. Friday, 90 with showers.

Saturday, 91, mostly cloudy. Sunday, 91, mostly cloudy. And Monday, 92 with some PM showers. So very hot and cloudy, rainy. Maybe a little sun here and there. And that's how the weather is. Now, I don't want to target any sort of specific group of people, but

you know how there's some people here in the States that when they think of Puerto Rico, they think it's a foreign land? When it's clearly part of the United States. Oh states oh yeah all they have to do is click a map to understand it's part of the united states and if you want to know what that means in one square mile is olive garden ihop mcdonald's kfc church's Chicken Popeyes Longhorn Steakhouse Chick-fil-A

Starbucks Panda Express Chris Chili's Dave and Buster's Hot Topic like Home Depot Garden Center at Home Depot there's there's no never once should

you ever question what what nation this this island is part of it's just like let's be very clear it's american as shit yes there are a lot of places like uh this place oh dude look at this starlin i don't know if this is a good spot but this looks like every mexican restaurant in la star oh my god yeah duh except this place has pizza and i don't know what that is ever seafood like this place has everything seafood grill and pizza you can't serve everything starlin yeah trying to serve everything they got the the rice formed in the shape of like a cup. It's crazy to me that they're serving like a curry thing, but also pizza,

but also like a whole ass fish. Yeah, look at it. Oh my god. They got some drink. It's a fancy drink. Looks like they're selling fettuccine as well. Yeah, there's fettuccine. You can't sell everything. Yeah, I'm trying to find the spot.

I don't know what the cool spot would be, but I did just find Casa Bacardi. Casa Bacardi. Wait, is this the real Bacardi distillery? Stop. Is this real? Oh, maybe it is. Yo.

Mama mia. I just found the chick-fil-a yeah if you look in that area it is a whole bunch of just yeah this is the bacardi it's a bacardi distillery i don't know if it's the bacardi distillery but it is pretty cool you know i'd go to a rum distillery in a heartbeat and they would have to wheel me out of there i can't help it i love rum i'm like a pirate i love some rum i could picture that you're getting wheeled out yeah just like a bacardi bottle in one hand and you're just like you're that's me all right i'm a pirate and really bad eggs yeah i do the whole thing yeah i'm blown away like yeah man i you know what i've never said i should visit puerto rico but like this is selling me on it i'd go in a heartbeat although the, the amount of Sam's Clubs and Walmarts is a little distressing. There's a lot. There's a lot.

I'm looking at a Sam's Club. I guess I don't know how big San Juan is, but in the map screen right now, I am at one mile. So that means this Sam's Club... Stop!

A Sam's Club is less than less than 500 feet from a Costco wholesale. And then a Walmart is six miles from another Walmart. This is look for all of, for the people who are, I'm going to say a little stupid who always say like, we don't care about what's going on in Puerto Rico. Cause that's some foreign land. Uh, no, that's American as shit. Yeah.

The only thing missing here is like the Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks. Oh yeah. You need that. I'm sure it's there. I would just have to find it. Yeah. No, it's a lot.

These places look great. Yeah. I'm looking at like like especially look lots of like seafood restaurants which i'm here for a lot of mexican places which i'm here for and like just latin american cuisine in general and wendy's yeah and wendy's and cvs pharmacies yeah taco bell yo punto ikea oh let's go we got the ikea even here they have taco bell pizza hut the combo proud to be an american taco bell pizza hut that's you know what kind of sucks is is when you most of the time we zoom in like On a map of somewhere

It's somewhere crazy and we're looking at like this little Hole in the wall that serves amazing food And here it is just like looking Like the midwest Except with palm trees There you go you go Baskin Robbins Nice Nice

You know what I'm realizing is the further you get away from the center of the city, you start to get some like actual places that look pretty cool. This place is called this. So I went up into the mountains. I was like, screw it. I'm going to get out of here. I'm gonna get out of the city. This place I would go to with you in a heartbeat.

Paju. El Bati de Paju. It looks like there's a dirt road. Like, everything there is... I would eat the hell out of this. It's like bar food, but, like, not. Yeah, I know what you mean. I see it.

I'd be here for this. Go see a band, sit on a little plastic stool, drink a Corona, eat whatever the hell this bacon- meat is. Oh my god. That's so good. I think those are smash plantains, some type of salsa-y salad, and then whatever that meat

with bacon wrapped. Oh my god. That is delicious looking. Oh yeah. See, I knew I had to go up into the mountains to find something. I was like, get out of the city, get away from the McDonald's,'s and here we are now i'm like yeah i'm back in it baby get away from the mcdonald's that should be that should be the motto of this show except for when we tell you to go buy something specifically at mcdonald's yeah that it's stay away from mcdonald's unless we're trying to kill you with some weird concoction we made specifically from McDonald's.

Okay, this place. I don't even. This place, I don't know if it's going to be good or bad, but it's just, I love the mascot. It's a place called Martin's Barbecue. El mejor sabor está aquí. And the mascot is basically if

I was a chicken. Yeah, with a chef's hat. It's like me with a chef's hat just being really proud of my barbecue. Yeah, it looks good. The chicken looks good. I mean, if you literally his little chicken chicken whatever the

hell that thing is that gizzard or whatever the thing that hangs down looks like my beard he's got a little jesse floof and he's just like i'm excited to be here that's me all right yeah what's the vibe yo if you're listening from san juan what's the vibe is it like chill is it like uh you know know, how do your sexy beach ladies feel about a fat dude? Like going to the beach being like, hey, ladies. Like an old fat guy. Are they into that? Do they like that?

Hey, girls, how's it going? It's me looking for love. Holy shit, I found the place. Uh-oh. Here it is. Folks's me looking for love. Holy shit. I found the place. Uh-oh. Here it is. Folks, we got Duck Donuts. Once again, this man clearly just picked it for the mascot. Yeah.

It's called Duck Donuts. It's a mascot. That's a duck. Yeah. It's very cute. But also, they've got donuts and ducks look at that and the donuts look like they look pretty good yeah they look like good donuts got good reviews yeah it's also i can't tell if they only sell cake donuts or if they have uh you know like those fluffier

donuts too uh looks like here they got sandwiches sund sundaes, coffee, milkshakes. This place is out of control. This place is crazy. I'm looking at a donut right now where it is. They cut the donut in half and then put a sandwich in the middle of the donut and then sprinkled candied bacon. And I assume that's maple glaze on top of it. I'm going to let you know that you've gone too far.

You've gone too far. Oh, my God. This is phenomenal. Yeah, it's called a bacon, egg, and cheese donut. There's a sausage, egg, and cheese donut. There's a, oh yeah, yeah. This is, that's absolutely it. So you can get a egg and cheese,

sausage, egg, and cheese, bacon, egg, and cheese donut. And then you can add maple and bacon to the top of it. Oh my god. This is wild. So wait, so they have their normal donut. This is wild. So they have their normal donuts, and then you can make your donut

into something else. So you have your normal donuts, and then you can cut the donut and put stuff in it, and then add maple and bacon, or you can cut the donut and put stuff in it and then add maple and bacon. Or you can get a donut and then put ice cream on it or get a salted caramel ice cream or get a chocolate madness. Oh, my God. This is – I would die here. You got Ollie.

Ollie's the duck. It says snap a faux duck graph with me and tag your local duck donuts hashtag ollie loves donuts ollie loves donuts hashtag yeah question is there a real ollie that's what i'm here for that's true dude are there any duck donuts in america this seems like something we should have yeah we should have we're fat enough enough to need this. I think. But also what's fascinating about this. Is it near you? Is there one near you?

There are two duck donuts, not like near me, but like in driving distance. We need in August. We're going, we're going to a duck donuts. And I'm not saying I, I will forget this, but right now I think it'd be fun to go to Duck Donuts and buy so many donuts and bring them to the show.

Oh my God. Can you get a donut? You know what? I think I'd be fun. I'll forget. But like in this moment, I think that's fun. Oh yeah. Dude, I might go to Duck Donuts this week at this rate.

I'm looking at the coatings for Duck Donuts. So basically there's a plain donut and then they have multiple coatings, toppings, and drizzles. Yeah. So you can get a donut and then make it your own way? Stop. This is too much. Oh, my God, dude. I'm ready.

I'm ready for Duck Donuts. I can't believe you got sold on the mascot, and the mascot delivered. I am impressed. That's all I'm... Listen, I'm saying, if you got a good mascot, like, I'm sold easily. I just... Like, especially

if it's a duck or some sort of animal. I made that TikTok on the old TikTok Crendor where I was, like, filming the animals jamming out on the tea boxes you know you commented on it that's how i know you saw it yeah uh and i was just like dude these are great like if you got an animal mascot on your brand i'm like 10 times more likely to buy it what's uh what sucks about this duck donuts is that right next door is a Marines recruiting center.

And I know I know my ass walking into a Duck Donuts, walking out eating them. Like, go get a Marines. That's just embarrassing. I couldn't do it. I couldn't get near there. I'm like, oh boy, all those

Marines are judging me. Yeah. That's the weather. All right, let's go to sports. Sports. Oh boy, over at the old sports desk, we've got sports. Monday night, NBA Game 7 Eastern Conference Finals between the Heat and the Celtics.

Heat were up 3-0 in the series. Now it's tied 3-3. So it's going to be a crazy game. Should be fun to watch. And then the winner will go on to take on the Denver Nuggets in the NBA Finals. Then in the NHL, Stanley Cup Finals. Florida is heading to the Stanley Cup Finals.

They'll be taking on either Vegas or Dallas. Currently Vegas up 3-2 in the series, but Dallas has won two in a row, so that could get crazy. And then over in baseball, we got the Tampa Bay Rays still in first, the Twins in first still with the Detroit Tigers only a game back, Texas Rangers in first. The Atlanta Braves in first. The Milwaukee Brewers in first.

And the Dodgers in first. And that is sports. All right. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. That was pretty entertaining, that little... Hey, thanks. Yeah, it was pretty good. Yeah, I tried to spice it up a little bit.

I think you'd be like an excellent trumpeter and or bard. All right, not that good. All right. all right uh the night's watch cloaks in game of thrones were made from ikea rugs okay but which rugs it says the show bought the rug shaved them down and then dyed them to make clothes okay okay all right so they didn't so they just like throw a rug on someone and be like, you're in the Night's Watch now, Jon Snow. Yeah. No, they didn't do that.

But that's neat. Yeah. At their core, they are Ikea rugs. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I mean, now that I know that both Ikea and Starbucks were heavily involved with Game of Thrones, it all kind of makes sense. Yeah.

It really does. It really does. It really does. I'll throw one more in here because this is interesting. I saw the shortest commercial flight in the world is in Scotland. Regional airline Loganair flies between islands Westray

and Papa Westray. Ray, I can't say that. The journey is just 1.7 miles, and it takes a total of 90 seconds. I guess I have questions about why anyone would do that, but... Yeah, I don't know why. Maybe there's, like, water in the way, or it's tough to... There's gotta be water. Yeah. Yeah, let's see west ray oh yeah this does look like islands yeah it's over water all right then that makes sense that

checks out all right hey that's interesting look at that go 1.7 miles and then you're Go 1.7 miles and then you're good. So those are facts of the night. Okay. What is our big news story of the day? Big news. Big news. Story.

You know, some of the intro songs are winners. I don't know about that one. Sometimes you strike out. Sometimes you don't. Yeah. It's not always going to be perfect. Yeah, you just got to take your swings. Bear barges into Connecticut bakery and scarfs up 60 cupcakes. Is it Hank?

I don't think it is, but we never know. Well, we might. What if it was Hank? What if? Because we found out that Hank wasn't responsible for those other things, so maybe Hank moved on.

Yeah, it's possible. I saw that Hank actually won his trial or whatever the shit happened. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Let's see. A hungry black bear barged into the garage of a Connecticut bakery, scared several employees, and helped itself to 60 cupcakes.

Workers at Taste by Spellbound in the town of Avon were loading cakes into a van for delivery on Wednesday when the bear showed up. There are between 1,000 and 1,200 black bears in Connecticut, with sightings last year in 158 of the state's 169 towns and cities. Bakery owner Miriam Stevens wrote in an Instagram post she heard employee Maureen Williams screaming bloody murder and yelling that there was a bear in the garage. Let's see. Williams told a TV station WTNH that she shouted to scare the bear off, but it retreated and came back three times.

He liked those cupcakes. Frankly, I'd be honored that a bear would come back three times. Yeah, I mean, they should make their logo a bear at this point. Yeah, a bear just munching on cupcakes? That's branding. It is. It's like duck donuts. Williams said

the bear charged at her so she backed out of the garage and ran. Surveillance video obtained shows bakery workers walking around the side of the business to try to scare the bear but then running away after it scares them. Video shows the bear dragging a container of cupcakes from the garage into the parking lot

and then eating the cupcakes. Baker finally got the bear to leave by honking a car horn the four-footed thief was gone by the time police and officers showed up no one was injured in the encounter one in a series of troubling interactions between black bears and humans in connecticut apparently a 74 year old woman suffered bites to her arms and legs when she was attacked by a bear walking her dog in a Hartford suburb. The first such attack this year. There were two attacks last year, including one in October, where a 10-year-old boy was mauled in a backyard.

Aw, jeez. That wasn't Hank. The frequency and severity of bear-human interactions is increasing. The frequency and severity of bear human interactions is increasing. Statistics show that there were a record 67 bear reports in Connecticut homes in 2022. The previous record was 45 in 2020. I'm starting to wonder if animals are just fed up with us. Because did you see this news report in the UK where killer whales, I guess, an older killer whale has an orca or whatever, um, was having issues with boats.

Like something clearly happened in this, this whales past where it was having issues with boats. And so it began to attack boats and now it has started teaching other whales to attack boats. And everyone's worried that there's going to be a whole generation of whales that just their whole thing is they see a boat. They're going to attack it. That's actually pretty crazy.

When you think about it, there's getting together like, yo, these humans are invading our shit. Let's take them out. That's what I'm saying. I'm starting to think they're like they're over it like you know what y'all been running stuff for a little too long yeah it's the whales time now and the whales we've teamed up with bears yeah i mean at this rate all the animals will be coming back soon and people might say jesse that that's stupid. Whales and bears together? Please, follow me here.

It's like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Orcas swim around in the Arctic. They hunt what? Penguins. Or seals. You know who else hunts penguins and seals in the Arctic? Polar bears. You're telling me those two don't talk?

And then the polar bear gets on the phone, calls up his cousin, the black bear Polar bears. You're telling me those two don't talk? And then the polar bear gets on the phone, calls up his cousin, the black bear, down south, and he's like, yo, dude, these humans, they're up to no good. And the black bear calls the brown bear, and he's like, dude, these humans up to no good. And the brown bear's like, actually, I know a few

of them down the street. They sell cupcakes. And then he walks on down there, and he eats the cupcakes, and next thing you know, come on, it makes perfect sense. This isn't science. They sell cupcakes. And then he walks on down there and he eats the cupcakes and next thing you know come on, it makes perfect sense. This isn't science. This is fact. It really is. I can see it. Yeah. In fact, we're seeing it right before our eyes.

Yeah, so who's the crazy one really? Come on, open your eyes. Wake up, sheeple. This is the conspiracy theory I want to start. This is the one. This is it. Like, the orcas and the polar bears started this whole thing as revenge for melting the ice caps.

It all makes sense. Yeah. Now we're going to probably start seeing penguins. Yep. The penguins are like, you took our homes. Right? Because they show up in suits, so you know they're like John Wick. Yeah, and they have guns.

Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, of course. There's just so many guns, especially here in the States. They could find one. They're probably in the water. That's the point. Yeah. Yeah, they just float it up there.

Yep. Well, that's it for us. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, they just floated up there. Yep. Well, that's it for us. We'll see you all next time. Crendor, hit them with the socials. Socials. We got socials. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. All one word over on YouTube.

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