Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 394 - Happy Birthday Crendor

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

The boys are back and this time Crendor celebrates his birthday with a trip to Urgent Care. What did he do now?! Meanwhile Jesse somehow schedules 3 doctors appointments in 1 week and then possibly meets the Kardashians. Then infomercials! Who doesn't love a good infomercial. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://hellofresh.com/cox50 and use code cox50 for 50% off plus free shipping.

Today's episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is going to get you eating real good. Let's jump into this podcast. For our recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's the next Grand Dollar in the morning. Happy, happy, happy, happy. Grand Dollar in the morning. Hello, everybody. Exciting episode of Gags and Grand Dollar in the morning. Oh, boy.

Excitement. Wow. Yeah, I can tell. I can tell you're excited. Yeah. Well, hold on. It's been a week. What do you mean it's been a week what

happened to you so first off i had my birthday yes yes we're all aware yep that was fun i'm still i'm not gonna wish you a happy birthday you getting older means that i'm older and i frankly i don't like it that's fine i don't like it either so the day after my birthday, glad this didn't happen on my birthday. I was cleaning the floor. Are we about to find out another and then Crandor fell apart story? Because I'm here for this. Great. Cleaning the floor.

And I was under the kitchen bar counter. And I didn't realize I was under the kitchen bar counter and I came up and bonked my head and uh at first I was like oh my god it was kind of like a doink and I was like whatever and I felt a little woozy that's not good that's that's that's not good no so I was like but I don't feel like you know like if you get a concussion, people like they get really nauseous. They get like, you know, real bad stuff. And I was like, I don't really feel that. So I was like, all right.

You know, I kept, you know, I was taking it easy. I didn't do anything crazy. But then the next day it was kind of still there. I was like, I think I'm going to call my doctor. So I called the doctor and they're like, do you have this? Do you have that? Are you dizzy? Are you this? And I was like, I mean, I'm a little dizzy, but I can a doctor and they're like, do you have this? Do you have that? Are you dizzy? Are you this? And I was like, I mean, I'm a little dizzy back and like walk and stuff. And then they're like, well, you should come in and get checked out. And I was like, okay. So I go in

and I'm just like, Hey, I hit my head and I'm here to get checked out for a concussion. The guy was like, just to let you know know if you are deemed like bags it's head trauma we will admit you to the hospital and i was like uh okay wait i don't understand was he trying to warn you off of it or is he just letting you know because it sounds threatening like just letting you know if you go through with this we're gonna send you to the hospital that's gonna cost you more money bro that's then he sounded he sounded like he works at an urgent care all day gotcha all right so he was he was letting you know that there will be charges if we have to send you oh yeah okay well i think he's just saying protocol like we may have to uh

smit you to the hospital get scans like all this stuff and i was just like my anxiety is already hypochondria high. And that just sent it through the roof. But I think because it's an urgent care that he has to say stuff like that because a lot of the time when people go to urgent care, it's because they don't have a normal medical practitioner. And so he's letting you know like, hey, you may actually have to pay a lot of money. Which is a weird thing for a medical professional to do no matter what.

But I was like, it's like some people probably get in a car accident, like crazy stuff. And they go in there. Right. Like, you know, I was listening. I was reading concussion stories online. I mean, look, it's still an indictment of the medical industry in the United States that they're like, just warning you, you may have to go to the hospital. Like, wait, why? Like, send me there if I need to go there, but it's going to cost you money.

So I was like, I mean, that's fine. I just I didn't want to get sent there against my will. He made it seem like they're going to be like, yeah, we're sending you over. You have no choice. You know what I mean? So I was like, uh, OK. I'm saying it sounded threatened. The whole thing sounded threatening. So I was like uh okay it did i'm saying it sounded threatened the whole thing sounded

threatening yeah i was like freaked out and my my anxiety they took my blood pressure they're like sir are you uh anxious right now and i was like it's a bit of an understatement they're like all right so they do that and then finally the doctor or like nurse practice like you know the the main doctor person there comes in and she's like, all right, tell me about your symptoms. Tell me all this stuff. And I was like, I hit my head and I got kind of dizzy. Thinking kind of hurts a bit. But that's, you know, my normal every day.

Thinking kind of hurts is like. And I don't know what that means. Thinking kind of hurts it actually does so she was like i think so she was like all right from everything you told me and looking at you and talking to you she's like i think you do have a light concussion but she's like concussions are on a scale and she's like so some people they get really bad like obviously if you get like you know whacked in the head with a frying pan versus like bump in your head, you know, type of thing. So she was like, mainly just take it easy.

Relax. Don't like stare at screens too long. Don't do anything crazy. Don't, you know, whatever. And, you know, I was like, all right. And that was it. So I got a light concussion and it's still kind of, all right. And that was it. So I got a light concussion. And it's still kind of, you know, it's still taking time to recover.

How many screens have you been staring at since? How many times have you streamed? I've streamed zero times. Okay. All right. I was about to say, because right now you're looking at a screen, and I am very worried for you. Well, all my monitors

brightnesses are turned down to like zero gotcha okay i've got i like keep taking breaks so if i'm looking at a screen i take a break i was gonna do like pointless top 10 sudden i was like oh i'll just do like film one thing but it turns out like i had to like read information and stuff and after i was reading a bit i was like this is actually kind of giving me a headache not like a full-blown headache but like my head just kind of you know felt strained in a way yeah so i was then uh obviously i go to dr john i'm like dr john is this normal am i dying he's like you gotta calm down good man good man and then i was just like oh my god brain bleeds do i have a brain my god, brain bleeds. Do I have a brain bleed? He's like, Crendor, you don't have a brain bleed.

I was like, alright. So, yeah, it's been fun. Honestly, today, you know, it's actually a little better. I've been able to focus and do stuff a bit more and not be as bad. But it's still kind of there, so I'm still trying to take it easy. I'm not streaming. So, yeah. I can't believe that this is all because you bonked your head I can't either like when you were talking about you know getting older and hurting places I didn't know you meant I actually had a concussion I didn't know that's what you were referring to yeah and I don't think I've

ever had like a concussion well actually I might have had one concussion when I was younger. I fell off a fence. Sure, sure. Look, I get it. I was hitting the head with a golf club. Oh, my God. I understand head trauma. Oh, I was hitting the head with a golf club as a kid.

I jumped off of a swing trying to swing over it and landed in a pit of sticks. A stick got stuck in my head. When I was a kid, like a baby, I had an x-ray machine fall on my head. Like, look, dude, if anyone has brain trauma, it's me. So I understand. This is really explaining us in general. It really does. I'm pretty sure I have a lot of problems because of that.

But I'm diagnosed, so it's not my issue. It's been a great time. Honestly, the worst things are just the eye strain. If I look at something too long a screen, it's like normal eye strain, but it gets amplified. Do you have dry eyes? Not really. Hmm, okay. The last year, I don't know if it's because I changed my light setup or what I did,

but my screen's dry eyes constantly. When I'm done for the day, my eyes, like, I just want to itch them until there ain't no more itching to be had. It is the worst. And, yeah, I don't know what I've done. I don't know what I've changed about my setup at all. Huh. I don't know.

Maybe you're just staring too much. Maybe, I guess. I don't know. It's upsetting. It sucks. It's, yeah, I don't know. I was trying to maybe, like, maybe Grendor knows, but you don't know nothing.

I don't know nothing. I don't know nothing. Especially now after my head trauma. But I don't know. He's pretty much like Crandor. You know how often athletes and stuff get concussions and everything? I was like, yeah. But you're not an athlete. You're like a dude who makes videos on the internet.

You shouldn't have to worry about concussions. Well, yeah. I think he was just saying that to calm me down from thinking it was a brain bleed. Yeah, and then sometimes those athletes lose their minds later in life. That's because they get like 20 concussions and they keep some people. Well, you may hit your head again and that could be it. They're athletes. Maybe they need 20.

Maybe you only need two. That's true. You're like the worst hypochondriac. Calm her down or whatever. It's like the other time I had my hypochondriac thing. You're just like, maybe you are dying. I'm going to get a message from Dr. John that's like, bro, cut it out. It's, uh, so, you know, if you comment about your concussion stories, if you're listening, give me positive concussion stories.

Look, like I said, I was hit in the head three times. Three times, and I'm fine. I'm fine. Relatively fine. Almost fine. That's true. Pretty close to fine. Like, on a spectrum of of fine I'm on that spectrum

Somewhere on there Yeah Well hey look you weren't the only person who went to the doctor this week I did three doctor's appointments This week because I'm stupid So I decided because I was leaving the country for a while

That I just put off all the stuff I needed to do Until I got back. You know, like, I don't want to worry about it. Of course. So I, for some reason, just forgot that I scheduled a general practitioner, dentist, and eye doctor all in one week. Let me tell you how it all went real quick.

All right. Everyone was like, well, you're doing fine, but you're fat. That was pretty much the extent of the entire thing. Medical doctor, like, well, all right, nothing too worrying here, but you're fat. I'm like, yeah, no, I'm aware, doc. You know, I know. He's like, okay, we got to do something about that. I'm like, okay, any advice? And he's like, I don't know, I know. He's like, okay, we got to do something about that. I'm like, okay, any advice?

And he's like, I don't know, go for more walks? And I was like, I just walked around. I did 40 miles in, like, less than 10 days in London. And he's like, good, good, good start. Do more of that. Do it again. I was like, okay, thanks, Doc. And then I went to the dentist, and the dentist messed around my mouth.

And he's like, all right. Everything seems fine. You drinking a lot of coffee? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, you got to cut down on that. And I was like, it's how I get up in the morning. He's like, yep, it's going to make your teeth darker. I'm like, yeah, I know.

And he's like, I don't know. Maybe try drinking some warm water. And I was like, can I put anything in the water? He's like, no, no, don't do that. You'll get fatter. I'm like, cool, thanks, doc. And then I go to the eye doctor and the eye doctor is like, looking at my eyes, my prescription

is roughly the same, she says. I think I checked out two years ago. She's like, it looks roughly the same. You don't really need new glasses, but if you want to get new lenses, go nuts. And then she's like, it looks roughly the same. You don't really need new glasses, but if you want to get new lenses, go nuts. And then she's like, I'm looking at your eyes here and the health seems pretty good.

Yeah, I mean, your blood pressure, we checked it and it seemed fine. I'm shocked about that. I was like, what? She's like, yeah, usually with bigger guys, the blood pressure's pretty crazy. And I'm like, okay, so a third person being like, you're fat, bigger guys, the blood pressure is pretty crazy. And I'm like, okay, so a third person being like, you're fat, Jess.

Like, it's just a lot. It's a lot. It's like my parents being like, you know what? Eat a salad maybe. I'm like, oh, my God. I live this life every day, y'all. You don't have to keep like, but what if we reminded you again? Hey, fatty.

I was like, oh, my whole God. So that was my week. It was a real joy. Real joy. So, you know, we all have our burdens. That's true. Some people, you know, smash their head. Other people get called fat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. By medical professionals who, like, I'm positive could care less. They were like, get them in, get them out. We got to keep going. I was like, okay, thanks. I honestly couldn't tell you if something was wrong with me because they were just like, yeah. Just like looking through documents and go, well, it seems fine. What do you mean?

Like, is there anything I can do? Clearly it's not fine. If I'm like the fat guy, help me out. And they're like, I don't know, like go for a walk or something. I'm like, oh my God. Okay. Thanks. Dude, oh, my God. Okay. Thanks. Dude, you have like the opposite. My guy's just like, yeah, I think you're dead.

So we might send you to the hospital. And I'm like, oh, okay. I mean, that happened to me once when I went and got checked out and they did my blood pressure. But it was a new nurse and she did it wrong. And the doctor walked in like, are you feeling okay? I'm like, what? She's like, according to your blood pressure, you should be new nurse and she did it wrong and the doctor walked in like are you feeling okay i'm like what she's like according to your blood pressure you should be having a heart attack right now and i was like what and then she's like oh the nurse did it wrong sorry and i was like oh thank god i thought i was dying right now and i didn't feel like i was dying so i

was like a little worried yeah on the on the positive side i'm glad this didn't happen on my birthday. So I did get to have a fun birthday. What'd you do? So I streamed a few times, got some big time stream dollars. Time out, time out. What do you mean you streamed a few times? I did three streams, but like an hour each. You really have broken the system. You gotta hit all the demographics.

I see that. So did you do a morning stream to hit the EU and then you did like a middle stream? You're a literal genius. I need you to know this. Yeah, I mean, that's the best way to do it. And so one thing I did on the first stream was I watched TV Guide infomercials.

Love it. And it was from 2003. And there was one guy that you probably remember, and his name was Tony Little. Tony Little. Why do I remember that name? Is he like the workout guy? Yeah, he invented the gazelle. Yep, yes.

And he has the long hair and does the crazy run. Yes, I totally remember him. And watching him was, it was an experience. Like he was just like going crazy. He's just like, yeah, we're working out. Like he was just like going crazy. He's just like, yeah, we're working out. And he was just like, look at those buns. And then he's like, oh, like the announcer lady or whatever she is, the like host lady was like, wow. Yeah.

And he's like, yeah, you like looking at my buns. And then she was like, oh, it was, it was something. And then pretty much there's like three different infomercials for just dieting. And then one for something else. It was for making money flipping houses. Really? From the 90s they were still doing that? Ah, okay.

I mean, I guess it doesn't really change. It's been a scam the entire time. Like, flip like do that it's fine it was just the the it was the the diet one was one was just the gazelle one was like draw a picture of yourself not being fat and then work towards that but then they're like you're all a picture of yourself yeah they're like draw a picture of yourself and they mail you these cards it was stupid and then the other one was like you can eat more and work out less which i was like they're probably telling you to eat vegetables and uh then the the house one was later just like yeah pay a flip houses pay off your debt that was it i was like yeah these are some 2003 infomercials i don't understand the whole flip houses pay off your debt thing but like all right i didn't know what it was until they started talking they were like this is an amazing way to like save money and make money

and i was like yo what is it and then they were just like flip houses yeah yeah i mean it's the same vibe as when there's those youtube videos where guys like follow my five easy steps and you can have this many books and this many Lamborghinis in your garage. It's that. And so they probably had a bad time when the housing bubble burst in 2008. Oh, they definitely did. All those people are broke now. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you can – I mean, the VOD's up on my Twitch channel. You can watch me watch all those. I'm shocked you didn't get, like, the classics. Like, you didn't get Total Gym with Chuck Norris? No. Oh my god. At least they're all just YouTube videos. That's what I'm saying. I guarantee it's on YouTube.

Total Gym, Chuck Norris. Look it up next time. Where he's like, I'm going to teach you how to work out with the Total Gym Fitness Center. And then Showtime Rotisserie Grill with Ron Popeil. That's a classic where he's like, set it and forget it. Oh, I do remember that.

That's a great one. I do remember that. And then, of course, all the George Foreman Grill commercials. So many of those. I do remember those too, yep. I had a George Foreman Grill in college. That thing got me through a lot of nights. That was mostly my meals.

I think we had a George Foreman grill too, and it was pretty good. I would say most people had a George Foreman grill. That was, you cook it from both sides at the same time? That was a technological marvel. Oh my God, have you, this is kind of off topic, but have you seen the TikTok NPC thing? I was informed about it by my team here in the office, where they said, hey, you gotta check out the NPC thing. And the one that I saw was a porn star doing it. And I was like, I don't get it.

She's not like I get I get what she's supposed to be doing. I get like what it is. And they're like, no, no, no. You got to watch this other lady. And it's like it's like this blonde woman who I guess is like the she's like gang gang like that. And apparently she is the it person. And I watched it. I got to be honest.

I don't know that I could watch it for long, but I understand it. I know a lot of people are posting like, I don't know what this is. I get it. I 100% get it. It is people paying money to control a human being. They've been doing that for centuries. So I very much understand. I get it, but I would not spend a lot of time watching it

oh yeah no I think it's it's genuinely one of the weirder side of the internet kind of things but I get it I get why people would want to be like if I pay money then she'll like say a thing and I can make her do stuff I get it I. It's weird, but I get it. It's honestly just a weird version of, like, any type of thing. Like, people subscribe to Twitch or give bits and stuff so you call them out. Like, hey, thanks, JimboJohn115. Right? It's just that, but to a kindergarten level of, like, I eat apple.

Yum, yum, yum. I eat apple. Yum, yum, yum. Yes. I mean, that's exactly the difference I think is that it's a little is actually making my concussion worse yeah it's like a little like I don't want to say immature I don't know what the right word for it is but yeah it's a little it's a little goofy in a way that I'm not you know it's like when we went to that one bar

and they were singing pokemon songs yeah and and we were like yeah probably too nerdy for us it's like when we went to that one bar and they were singing pokemon songs yeah and and we were like yeah probably too nerdy for us it's that kind of thing like look i'm down for a nerdy bit but sometimes it crosses the line and yeah i'm down to watch streamers and twitch people on twitter or whatever but sometimes it's like all right that's a little too far for me and this is one of those cases where it's just a little too far yeah no i agree, I agree with that. That's how I saw it as well. It's like, you know. I'm not going to yuck anyone's yum. If you're into it, go for it.

But, like, you know, it's not for me. Yeah. No, I'm not going to make fun of the people, but it's, you know, I'm too old for that. Yeah. Plus, anyone can make a decent argument that, like, we're no better. Oh, yeah. 100%. can make a decent argument that like we're no better oh yeah 100 we just hide it behind like oh i'm making good goofs now i'm gonna clap for you like it is roughly the same thing smash the

like button bam bam bam hit the bell ding ding ding hit the bell yeah subscribe subscribe it's the exact although i think you could do that. I probably could. If all of yours were like, hit the bell, like, like, like, follow, follow, follow. Honestly, that's probably what I could share the video until I'm like fully healed. Just like sit there with my eyes closed. Like hit the bell. Ding, ding, ding. Subscribe.

Tell your friends, tell your friends, share this video, share this video. Yeah. Yeah. I would do that. I'll this video. Share this video. Yeah. Yeah. I would do that. I'll be honest. I'd do that. Yeah. I mean, listen, doing that, you're making a bunch of money.

The most shameful version of it. Yeah. Please subscribe. Please subscribe. Ding dong. Ding dong. Hit that bell. Oh, I forgot to mention this other guy.

So I think this was like the day before my birthday i went to this like cafe uh like you know local cafe place they do like bakery things and coffee and latte whatever yeah yeah like a cafe yeah like a cafe you know so listen i mean you don't know it could be a maid cafe uh so but they still do those things there like maid cafes aren't just like you show up a maid talks to you and then you leave you still get a drink or a sandwich or something yeah yeah that's true but anyway there's this old man there you already know where it's going i always do there's this old woman like looking at cakes and there's this like her daughter was like filming him and the old guy goes that gonna be on youtube or tiktok

and then they just start laughing like haha and he's like see made him laugh and then and nobody was like uh-huh yeah and so then he starts checking out his food and he bought like some tea thing or something and they're just like that'll be 666 and he's like 666 i should play the lottery that's unexpected i'll be honest i uh for years when i worked at mcdonald's back when i was in high school uh when people's orders and and this, of course, was Ohio. So it might be different for the rest of the world. But when people's orders would be 666, there was only one of two reactions. One, someone would be like, ooh, scary.

Or someone would be like, can I add something to that order? And they get like the cheapest thing on the menu so it wouldn't be 666. Because, again, people are crazy. Anyway, sorry. Please continue. The way you said that sounded like the npc thing like 666 oh scary 666 oh scary hell i mean no comment um that was really it then i got my stuff and left what'd you get what was your cafe order i got a uh well i got a coffee and then I got us two pastries. Just a normal-ass coffee? Yeah, that's what I do.

And then I got Toaster Woman and iced matcha latte. I like that. What was your pastry? One was like this milk bread thing. It's got like, I don't know, it's called milk bread. It's got like cream and stuff in it and then i got like a blueberry walnut uh milk bread thing that was pretty good too so you are you're all in on milk bread you're like a milk bread boy i mean you know i'm not getting it all the time but every once in a while right well i mean like okay was this in like an

asian themed bakery yes okay all right i was trying to figure out, like, all right, so we're hitting up matcha and milk bread. I'm like, this seems like more than just a normal bakery. Yeah, no, it's definitely, it's either Japanese or Korean. I'm not sure which one, but whatever it is, they make good milk bread. That's cool. That's very cool. Yeah, so i like that it's better than the uh your standard like old jimbos cafe or something they just give you like the

thing that's been sitting under the heat lamp all day or whatever i will say i'm a big fan of when i say themed cafes right now i don't mean like you know like you were talking about a made cafe never been maybe i'd enjoy it maybe the thing maybe the fetish i'm here for is made cafes i I don't mean like, you know, like you were talking about a maid cafe. Never been. Maybe I'd enjoy it. Maybe the thing, maybe the fetish I'm here for is maid cafes. I don't know. I guarantee you probably would. Yeah, yeah.

But I like a themed cafe. Like, I don't know. Something about that tickles my fancy rather than just like fills. We serve coffee in Danish. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's usually because those are pretty generic. I mean, not all of them probably but oh yeah i feel like i'm caught up in the like allure of it it's probably no different you know what i mean in reality they're probably the exact same thing

but i'm like oh the german bakery yeah i mean i remember eating in london like fancy little european baker or whatever the london, and then they give you a little cup. That was fancy, just sitting out in the metal chair with a little cup, drinking coffee. Yeah, that's what I did every single day. Every single day when I was there, I went to this bakery, got a coffee and a Danish and sat outside for like two hours and just watched people. And I'm going to let you know, people watching was good. There was one point where there was this woman who looked like she was a ghost.

Like, you know, I forgot to tell you this story. Like she literally, so she was with a group of people. And I think they were her family. I don't know. But you know how in the family there's always the like black sheep of the family? Yeah. This was that girl. She was dressed like a Victorian spirit in all black with like

frills and doilies and lace and she had a bonnet on and an umbrella and i get i understand how some people would will use an umbrella because they have very fair skin and you know they can't be outside or whatever i get it i understand but she was skulking through the streets. It's 11am and she's just like, she looks like she's looking for a victim to haunt. It was so wild. And the family was walking with her and at one point I think the dad had a shopping

bag, like a paper bag full of something. I don't know what it was. And he kept trying to hand it to her. She turned to him and she goes, I don't want it! And the dad's like, well then fine. He just puts it on the ground and walks away. And she starts screaming like a banshee whale. And I was like, whoa! What is happening?

Everyone outside's looking at her and then she sees that we're looking at her and she the best way to describe it is, you know when Scooby-Doo tries to run really fast and his legs go like blah blah blah blah blah and he like zips away? It was roughly the same she panicked so fast that she just zipped away and there was a bag of something sitting there on the sidewalk

for a good 10 minutes before the dad finally came back and got it i was like god i love people watching it's just the best it really is the best i was uh in fact the other day when I was walking, because I was like, normally what I'll do is I'll work on something, and I'm like, got to give my brain a break. So I just go for a walk, some light exercise. And then there's these guys. Plus, your office is in an area where there's a lot of stuff to see.

Oh, yeah. So I was walking, and there are these guys, and he's just like, bro, you're drunk, bro. And he's like, I'll fight you. I'll fight you. And they're just like yelling. And I was just like, uh, so I was like, obviously walked the other way. But then you could I could just hear him still be like, yo, bro, like, I'll fight you, dude. He's like, you're drunk, bro. You're drunk. What time is this? It was probably like 9 p.m. I mean, you are near an area where around 9 p.m. 10, there would be drunks.

I'm not going to lie. Yeah. So there's a lot of opportunities to drink in that area. There is. And so I was like, well, I think I'm good on walking today. So I did not walk again. I think I'm good on walking today. So I did not walk again.

But you run into some stuff like that out in the wilderness of the cities. You definitely do. That's true. That's why I love cities. I love the fact that there's so many. Even in the countryside, yeah, you got your people, like, a little wild. But in the city, the amount of wild you see on a daily basis is just like today. Coming to film this, there was a car in front of me with, I'm going to say, it was a Range Rover that had whatever the maximum limit of human beings can be inside of it.

It was all girls, I'm going to say all in their 20s or 30s all with long black hair. At first I swear to God I thought it was the Kardashians and they are trying to go from the furthest left lane to the furthest right lane to get off the highway and it was

as if the world had stopped in that moment. They almost hit four cars. Traffic was halted. And the entire time, they're oblivious to the whole thing, and they're all playing with their hair. I can see them through the back of the car all playing with their hair while they're making this incredibly dangerous turn on the highway.

And I was just like, man, i love the big city the craziness is just condensed yes it really is yeah so it's uh those are all my stories those like stories and then i got my concussion and now i've just been chilling so i don't really have any stories after that aside from the main story. Well, I got a story for you. All right. It's a story about how I made some delicious food this week with HelloFresh. Oh.

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There's so much stuff there. But we're talking about the meals because the meals are what's really important. They got calorie smart, protein, smart lunch, dinner options, vegan dinners to choose from all sorts of stuff. This week I got a box in the mail and I was like, Ooh, what did I get this time? Got three things, got a beef dish, a chicken dish and a shrimp dish. A beef dish, a chicken dish, and a shrimp dish. And the shrimp dish was a sweet and spicy shrimp noodle stir fry thing. Let me tell you, I'm not a big cooker of shrimp.

I don't do it often. It's not a thing I do. But I had the shrimp, and I was like, let's do this thing. It can't be that hard to make this. And it wasn't. It was literally oil in the pan, throw in the shrimp, then in another bowl, mix all the different sauce ingredients that are already pre-portioned, mix that up with some honey and it's like, oh, okay. And then put the noodles in the pot that was already boiling that I had going on. And it was like a really thin ramen-y noodle style, which was awesome. And then you

pour the sauce over the shrimp and then you throw the veggies in with the shrimp. And then you pour the sauce over the shrimp, and then you throw the veggies in with the shrimp. And then when you're done, you just mix it all together. The end. It was the simplest thing I could ever have done. Delicious. It looked exactly like it looked in the picture. Felt really good about the whole thing. So then the next day, I made the chicken dish. And here's the thing. The chicken dish had some sort of creamy sauce. It was like chicken, potato, salad. It was very simple. Didn't like the sauce. So what did I do? I made the chicken dish. And here's the thing. The chicken dish had some sort of creamy sauce. It was like chicken, potato, salad. It was very simple. Didn't like the sauce.

So what did I do? I made the salad the way they wanted me to make it. I made the potatoes the way they wanted me to make it. And the chicken, just cut it up. And then I put some peri-peri sauce on it and went to town. And it was fine. I didn't have to do the thing they wanted me to do because you're making it, right? If you have things you don't like in these recipes,

you can just take them out because that's how it works. It's so simple. That's why I love HelloFresh. It's one of my absolute favorite meal delivery services. It features quality proteins, fresh produce, and plans for any sort of lifestyle you got. It's no wonder HelloFresh

is America's number one meal kit. You can get on this too right now if you go to HelloFresh.com slash Cox50 and use code Cox50 for 50% off plus free shipping. Again, HelloFresh.com slash Cox50 and use code Cox50 for 50% off plus free shipping at checkout. That is why it is America's number one meal kit. All right. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, boy. Traffic.

Nothing's changed. It's traffic. Although we, uh, I forgot to mention, we did actually eat the saucy pork burrito bowls last night. And they were actually really good. It was really good. It was like, uh, it was like, like saucy, like onions.

It's like a cilantro lime rice. That shit was good. Sounds good. Yeah, it was really good. So, hopefully that protein's helping my brain. Back to you. Thanks, Grendor.

Let's go to the weather. Weather. Let's go to the weather. Weather. Let's see. Weather request for Woburn, Massachusetts. My best friend works there and listens every Monday on her commute, and it's got a super cute downtown square. Yo, she single though?

I knew that's what you were going to say. It's my bit man Let me have this It's one of the few bits I got Loneliness and depression are the few bits I have okay It's like half a bit Half a really whole thing Your dad's probably just like I'll take you to meet her

I'll drive you there Speaking of which oh my god my mom Messaged me after last week's episode and she said, and I quote, Sorry for the mean comment in the car. I felt bad after I said it, but I was just reacting for you making fun of Maxine,

which is their dog. So my mom got mad at me for saying that their dog sucked. She was like, you're never going to have a kid because you can't even get a girlfriend. You're fat and lonely. You're fat and lonely. You're fat and lonely and dumb. I messaged her back and I was like, mom, I've known you my entire life. You're my parents.

I don't take offense at all. So I was like, you guys have to deal with me. So I get it. Don't worry. I'm not. I was not offended. It just was very funny to me that you guys Went in went in on me That is pretty funny

Yeah I was like I'm not It didn't scar me in any way I love you guys I'm not like I'm not like oh I hate my parents I love my parents it was just a very Funny thing where I was like yeah this is This sounds right which made it even more funny Because mom was like you just made fun of our dog And I love our dog so much and so we like

Went after you it actually is very cute now that i think about it that just being like we love our dog how dare you at least our dog could possibly give us grandkids we probably could well probably before I could, sure. In Woburn, Massachusetts, 84 degrees, 40% humidity, 29.93 inches of pressure. Feels like 85, visibility 10 miles an hour, 2.57, wind 4 miles an hour, 528, sunrise, 813 p.m., sunset, UV index 1 of 11 with a waxing crescent moon phase 10 day 87 partly cloudy on monday tuesday 84 with pm thunderstorms wednesday 89 sunny thursday 90 partly cloudy friday 91 pm thunderstorms saturday 85 partly cloudy and sunday 78 with am showers I don't know why I know this place. Probably Mathis. Let's be real. That's true.

But it also could be from listening to car talk on NPR for 20 years. Yep. But yeah, yeah, yeah. It's beautiful. It's like just a quaint, small New England town. Love it. Yeah, I see that. It does look like a nice little quaint small New England town.

Yeah, the fact that they have a lot of back roads that look like they drive through forests, I'm like, man, that's beautiful. I would go crazy there, obviously. Oh, yeah, 100%. I'd be like, there's nothing for me to do. There's nothing for me to do. But like, ew, beautiful. Yeah.

That's the weather. All right, let's go to sports. Sports. That's the weather. All right. Let's go to sports. Sports. Let's see. Football, basketball, slowly going through their off seasons. Hockey as well. There's actually the Women's World Cup happening.

Yes. Go Team America, as usual. Yep. It looks like currently. Get it, ladies. The standings are, let's see, as usual. Yep, it looks like currently... Get it, ladies. These standings are... Let's see, who's in first? Switzerland, New Zealand, Australia, Japan, Spain, Denmark, England,

U.S., Netherlands, and Sweden. Wait, didn't I already say... Oh, Switzerland, never mind. And Sweden. So, yeah, I don't know what any of this means. I don't know how long it lasts. I'm just like, I guess third first. Speaking of speaking of women's sports.

The I'm really impressed by this. The International Basketball Federation. I think it's it might just be the Women's League. I'm not sure, but I'm going to send this to you because it's super cool, and I want you to give your reaction. They have a new basketball court, and if this is the future, I am 200% in for this being a part of sports. It's an LED glass basketball court.

It is the coolest Basically it's your standard basketball court But the ground is a screen And stuff is happening on the screen While they play And it is amazing That is actually really cool However, that is prime advertisement central Oh, well of course

I mean, that's obviously what it is. But you can even see it in the video of the ground literally changing to ads as they move away from, you know. Here's the thing. This is what I've been thinking about the entire time, and I need you to know this. Splatoon can be real now, dude. Oh, my God. I mean, it can. All right, it can. This is Splatoon can be real now, dude. Oh, my God. I mean, it can. All right, it can.

This is Splatoon. We can do real-ass Splatoon now. You're a squid now. You're a kid now. One of the things in this clip as they go over the Switch watch logo is the broom. And the broom is literally mopping and changing the paint color of the floor. You could make Splatoon. There is some really cool stuff you can do with that, yeah well i mean for sure same thing with the um uh the

knights the las vegas knights hockey team and their arena when you know when they did that like long ago i love that i want more of that yeah it's uh there is part of it where, like, they get the ball, they start running down the court, and everything starts changing while they're running. I don't like that. I don't like shit changing on the floor while they're playing. Yeah, that would drive me crazy as, like, a fan watching. Like, if it's too much, sure.

But when they do the, you know, free throw... Yeah, any, like, pauses and stuff. And the ground does, like, a boing. I think that's neat. There's a lot of cool things you can do without it being too much. Yeah. No, I agree with that. So, yeah, that's pretty sweet.

I didn't even know they did that, so that's cool. I wouldn't mind the – but, yeah, they definitely did that for advertising purposes. But I wouldn't mind more people building that in. I mean, they're just gamifying everything. I was watching a clip of a baseball game, and the guy was like, watching a clip of a baseball game and the guy was like, is this a Major League Baseball video game or is this real life? And it literally is because they're using all this drone footage and the way the camera moves with the drones, it looks like you're playing a video game.

Absolutely crazy. Oh yeah, that's pretty crazy. Was it MLB the show? Well, I mean, it was the actual, it was the real ass baseball game, but they were saying it looked like it was the show. Yeah, I see. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it's, look, I thought we'd have flying cars, but if this is what we're going to get, I'm, you know, all right, I'm here for it. I'll take it. Um, oh, that's sports. All right. What's our fact of the day fact of the day they they

they you are more likely to get a virus, right? Right. But really, you're more likely to get a virus downloading a song or get a virus from an email that was sent to you. And it makes a lot of sense when you think about it because an adult site, they need you to come back. Yeah. They're not going to give you a virus and then you're not going to come back to their adult. The whole point of going to the adult site is they can feed you a million ads for penis size and weird stuff. Their whole point is that. They need you to come back because they need the viewership to make a bajillion dollars doing that.

Why would they put a virus on there? I feel like back in the day they did have a lot of pop-ups to try and install stuff. Well, that's a different, annoying, pop-ups are different than a legitimate virus though. Right. Yeah, that's true. Like, you know, and that I think is a huge, huge thing that people learned. I mean, maybe back in the 2000s, maybe I'm just misremembering, and there were some erotic, dirty sites that had viruses, but I guarantee those aren't around anymore because it's not

a business model. It's literally some guy being a dick. And now it's one of the most, if not biggest parts of the internet let's not pretend porn is keeping the internet going so let's not even like try to pretend it's otherwise and that's one of those things where it's a business and just like how if we go to a convention yo i'm in bed by 10 because i'm there for business even if i'm there to have fun i got to be up the next day and do it all over again i'm not going to go out and get crazy party down because I got stuff to do. And I learned that the hard way, which I think a lot of people in the porn industry probably

learned too, where it's like, look, this is a long-term industry. And so, yeah, I would believe that they would put it on religious sites more than porn sites, mostly because right now, a lot of people headed to religious sites are, you know, going to like borderline QAnon sites. Let's see. According to research from Symantec, religious websites carry three times more malware

threats than adult sites. Symantec found that the average number of security threats on religious sites was around 115 compared to adult sites, which was around 25. In fact, only 2.4 percent of adult sites were infected with malware researchers hypothesize that's because adult sites need to generate profit so there's a financial incentive to keeping them virus free yeah yeah it's not you don't have to be smart to figure it out yeah it's a it's a business and a lot of religious websites

are just you know some guy ranting about something. And that's a different thing completely. Yep. I mean, they're non-profit. They don't pay their taxes. They don't need taxes. I mean, yeah, it's that simple. So, yeah, I totally get it.

That makes perfect sense to me. Yeah. So those are fact of the day. All right. Well, what's our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. All right. Well, what's our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Annual Ernest Hemingway lookalike contest begins in Florida Keys. We're back at it again.

I love this. Every year. The tradition. Many of the 140 bearded men competing attempt to copy the Papa persona, an appearance adopted by Hemingway in his later years. Almost 140 bearded men who resemble Ernest Hemingway converged on Key West, the late author's home during the 1930s to compete in the Hemingway lookalike contest that began Thursday evening.

Challenge is a highlight of the Island's Hemingway days festival that salutes the literary talent and adventurous life of the Nobel Prize winning writer. During his key West years, Hemingway penned classics including For Whom the Bell Tolls and To Have and Have Not. The three night lookalike competition is held at Sloppy Joe's Bar. Hell yeah it is. Where Hemingway often spent time with local and literary friends. That's one of those things you have, like, a famous author. Like, where do you think he went?

He went to Sloppy Joe's. You think he goes to, like, some fancy place or something or whatever? Yeah, but that's like if you think of, like, British authors. Like, where'd they spend their days? Oh, he went to a pub called the Queen's Tit. You know? Like, it's never as cool as you think uh closely observed by a judging panel of previous winners including 2022's john

alvill of dade city florida contestants take turns pontificating and parading across sloppy joe's stage many repeat contenders who bring their own cheering sections and most attempt to copy the papa persona and appearance adopted by hemingway in his later years many or the contest second preliminary round is set for friday the 124th anniversary of hemingway's july 21st birthday and the winner is set to be chosen saturday. Hemingway Days continues through Sunday with events including quirky Running of the Bulls spoof and a street fair and the Key West Marlin Tournament that recalls the author's passion

for Florida Keys fishing. I love it because it's literally just old, slightly overweight, gray-haired, bearded man. I see that, yep. Just a huge group of them and I love that they all are wearing the exact same outfit. It is really weird

that they all look the same. It's crazy. I mean, I guess that's the point. You're trying to look like someone else. But what a treat. What a fun look at all these guys. I love that this is a thing. It is truly a pointless, pointless thing. And I'm here for it. It is great.

That reminds me, i watched the other day the uh what's his name eddie burbank i believe he went to last year he went to every rainforest cafe yes yes he went to every margaritaville yep that is uh and i think i've said this before i'm gonna say it again the exact purpose of the internet. Yep. I loved it. It is so good. Yes. These are the kind of things the internet was made for, and we've fallen so far from it. I'll be honest.

We need more of this. This is content. That's the true dedication. He drove across the country to do this. To every single one, and it's just exactly what you would expect to which is perfect highly recommend very good video very good video yes um and that's the big news story of the day all right well that is it for us thanks so much for listening and watching i've enjoyed this podcast crendor hit them with the socials uh yeah youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast

like comment subscribe leave a weather request, hit the bell, be notified. We got other stuff. Listen, my brain's already aching. Just search us. Gang, gang. What? Like, hit subscribe. Gang, gang.

Oh, God. All right. Uh, you know, search. Hit that bell. Hit that bell. Hit that bell. Search Jesse Cox. Search Crandor.

You'll find it. I'm going to go take a walk after this. Hell yeah. That's a good idea. And that's that. All right. We'll see you all next weekend as always. To be continued. Uh! Tô bem que eu não tenho.