Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 421 - The Inner Circle

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

Come see Cox n' Crendor Live! https://t.co/EeWQDuVDe1 The boys are back and this time Jesse's car needs repairs and that's just the start of his troubles. Have you been to Costco lately? Jesse has - on a Saturday! It was horrible. Meanwhile Crendor is curious about fruit and Guy Fieri. And then the boys learn about famous amos and it changes their world view forever. All this and more on a brand new Cox n Crendor! Go to http://butcherbox.com/cox and use code COX to get $20 off your first order. Go to http://buyraycon.com/cox to get 20% off your Raycon order and free shipping.

Today's episode is brought to you by ButcherBox. ButcherBox has got that good meat that's going to be delivered directly to your home. Also today we're brought to you by Raycon. Raycon's got good vibes for your ears, baby. Now let's jump in this podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trendom. This is Trendom in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour reporting studios.

Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Cacks and Crendo in the morning. Cacks and Crendo in the morning. Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Cacks and Crendo in the morning. This is excitement. Oh no.

You sounded like an advertisement for like an old video game system. What we've got here is excitement and you need to partake. Neo Geo, this is excitement. Sucks. That's the end of his prime 90s. Very prime 90s. Little early 2000s. I feel like that faded out and it became kind of ironic stuff in the early 2000s.

A little bit. I'd be like, this is excitement. Taco Bell burritos. Dong. Tong. excitement. Taco Bell burritos. Dong. Tong. Yo quiero Taco Bell. 2000 to 2003, it was still kind of like that. I think once we got past that, it started really phasing out.

I'm glad we've solved this. I'm glad we've solved this for everyone listening. Yeah. We got it. Nailed it. That's what they're here for. Yeah, no problem. Also also could i just say i just went to like click on discord and now it's what it's trying to give me discord loot boxes i want

to let you know that it did the same for me and i was like oh my god what could this possibly be and i clicked it and i got a plushie air quotes because i didn't get a plushie i got a plushie, air quotes, because I didn't get a plushie. I got a plushie that I then can keep on Discord out of all the things Discord could do. Like, you know, solid call quality or maybe like having more than a bunch, you know, more than like five people on before it starts to get crappy. Like anything. Any of those things they could have worked on. Mm-hmm. But they put their time into putting loot boxes on,

which is cute. I did not think of all places Discord would be the next loot box. I feel like it shouldn't, but maybe it's an April Fool's thing. Oh, that's maybe what it is. I forgot it's the April Fool. Yeah.

Maybe? It might be yeah is this it's gotta be right it's gotta be oh yeah because it said seven hours ago loot boxes have arrived okay it's gotta be an april fool the thing is i don't know how to get back to that screen even if i wanted to and it's probably for the best Yeah I think so I was like where would it be Shop what was it under And you know what I'm not even gonna look for it You know what I'm gonna say it I don't really like the April Fools

Dude I was gonna say that today But um I woke up and I thought The first thing I saw today was on my phone was a really stupid April Fools joke I was about to be April Fool's joke. I was about to be, April Fool's is stupid.

What a dumb thing to do all day. And this morning, while leaving my apartment, turning down our favorite intersection, hit a pothole. Pothole shredded my tire. It exploded my tire, which then caused damage to my oil pan or whatever the hell modern cars have that holds the oil and made a hole in it. And now it's going to cost thousands of dollars to fix. Oh, that's been my day today. Was that the first thing that happened today? I got breakfast. But then after that, yes, that was the first thing.

And then the worst part was is I then had to pull into. So it was right away. So I pulled off onto a side street. And the side street was behind a bar and grill, which was doing like brunch or some nonsense. And so everyone there was watching my car just like fall apart. And I was like, well, at least it's good watching. And then because the parking there is only 30 minutes,

the police drove by like five times. And it was a different cop every time. Like, what's going on over here? Like, my car broke, dude. I can't move, man. He's like, okay, Well, just stay safe. I'm like, yeah, okay. I called the tow company.

I was like, hey, I need to take this in. And they were like, okay, sure. We will send someone over. Now, this was 10 a.m. ish. And the tow company didn't arrive until 1230. Oh, my God. I sat in my car for at least two hours. How did that take a mile long?

Well, it took – so what ended up happening is I had to call the tow company. I don't have AAA. I used to have AAA, and now I wish I did because I feel like a fool. But I don't – I don't know. Whatever. I'm not going to try to justify nonsense. But I called, and the don't know, whatever. I'm not going to try to justify nonsense. But I called and the guy was like, cool. What we need to do is send you the contract to tow it.

I'm like, okay. So they sent it to my email. Thankfully it was a link to a website where I could go and sign the thing there. Then, which is insane. I've never had to sign a contract for a tow. But again, I've had AAA before, so it's a whole thing. Anyway. So the guy's like, okay, so sign the contract.

And he's like, all right, we'll send someone right away. I'm like, okay. And he's like, it could take between 30 minutes and an hour, depending on where the tow truck is compared to you. And I'm like, sounds fine. Hour goes by, you get a call, and they're like, hey, tow truck guy, I'm headed to you right now. Sorry, there was a delay.

And I'm like, okay. So then the tow truck guy shows up An hour later I'm like cool cool cool cool cool But what am I going to do yell at him like I'm at his mercy now So I was like thanks so much thanks for doing This and he You know lifts up the car

It was actually pretty amazing I've never Sat and watched how modern Tow trucks do their thing. But that is some cool automated shit. It's pretty interesting. The way that they can lift the whole thing off the ground without even moving it or having it in neutral. This dude was like from the future. It was pretty cool.

So I got into his car and we were going to drive it to the repair shop. And the traffic was so bad. I felt bad for this man because they're stuck in traffic so now i'm just like oh my god and uh my car is like hovering off the ground it was dude it was wild that like i don't even know what technology they were using but it was pretty amazing and i'm sitting there and i'm just being patient i'm trying to hold in my anger at the world they're just like there's nothing i do. I can't get mad about this. I just have to just go live this life

and just do this thing. Well, it was very clear the guy who was driving was mad because at one point he was so mad at traffic, rather than yell or whatever, he turned up the radio and it was like blasting mariachi music. It was like, loudly. And It's like.

Loudly. And it's like. And I got to be honest. I was feeling it. So I'm just bobbing my head. And he's like. So you like mariachi? And I'm like. I mean.

I like it. And he's like. Who's your favorite? Like don't do that to me man. I'm not on the spot. Yeah. Who's your favorite? I was like.

I mean. I don't really have a favorite. He's like, oh, I see. Now he's like, this guy's a fake mariachi fan. You put me on the spot, dude. So we didn't talk the rest of the ride. That really hit home. That like struck a nerve with him.

He was not happy. Anyway, got to the dealer. And the dealer was like, okay, so looks like the wheel damage is about $571. And the damage to the oil. Let me see here. And he like starts breaking out the calculator. I'm like, oh, my God. And he's like, it looks like this will be about $1,900.

I'm like, oh my God. The best part is, is after I left, he called me. He was like, it's going to be about $300 more. I'm like, what do you mean? So just a complete mess of an afternoon. And I mean, thankfully they lent me a loaner. Wah, wah. So I can still get around, but not cool.

Not a cool day for me. They forgot to tell you the dealer fees. They're like, oh yeah, we forgot there's the $300 dealer fee we didn't tag on there. What's crazy is when I was there the guy's like, okay, so the wheel cost, no matter what, is going to be $571 or something.

But depending on what needs to be done with the oil stuff, that's either going to be $300 or $1,900. And I was like, okay. So when he went to go check with the manager, it was $1,900, strangely enough. Yeah, of course. And then I get a call. I'm on the toilet.

And dude's like, there should be $300 more. I'm like, the toilet and dude's like yeah there should be three dollars more i'm like oh my god so i literally just because i have nothing else i was like can you at least when you guys are done can you just have everyone can they wash and clean the car i mean like can you do that for he's like yeah we'll do that for you man i'm like thanks guys that was that was like when i had my car thing the other month. And then it was like a thousand or whatever, 1,200. And then he was just like, you want the car wash? I was like, no, I want to get out of here.

I was like, I don't wash. I don't even care. So I guess they're going to have to order the tire because they didn't have the tire there. I'm surprised they didn't try to sell me on. well, you know, you got one tire and you got it. Your tires got a balance. So we're going to have to do like, like you got to like, you know, get all four new tires. I'm so surprised they didn't do that.

I'm dreading a call that's like, well, we put on the one tire, but like the alignment's off. Oh, they'll definitely do that. It'd be like, yeah, the alignment's like definitely off definitely off also we found there's like a small oil leak i wouldn't let that go very long um but uh there's also a radiator it's nothing big but i would get it taken care of if i was you just while we got in here you know yeah big fan big fan so that's cute yeah yeah so that's that's that's been i did i did come with other stuff today i was ready to talk about some good old-fashioned jesse goes to costco stories but instead i'm suffering that's why i'm at home i was like i'm not even gonna go in the office i

don't even give a damn i'm so over it it. Well, did you not go to Costco either? Oh, no. I went to Costco. Costco was a few days ago. I see. This is all in the past. Oh, yes. Costco was in the past.

This is broken cars today. Broken car and broken you. Yeah. Yeah. Thankfully, I mean, I'm fine. And then everyone sent me a bunch of links that were like, hey, you can contact the city, and the city will pay up to $10,000 in repairs for you. And I'm like, cool.

So I go to the website, and it's like, what is your lawyer's name? I'm like, what the? All right. So I have to find a lawyer. I'm like, all right, this is trash. This sucks. Yeah. All you have to do is spend two years fighting for it with a lawyer,

and then they'll maybe pay a sum of money to the which pretty much they're like nobody's going to do that. Yeah, it's trash. So that's what happens. And the worst part was is when it happened. I like I wish you could have seen how my entire soul sank like the pop the noise was so loud. My car shook violently that i was just like come on man it was just like i had so much stuff to do today so yeah yeah uh is this one of those things where it happened like as you said it was by the intersection how close to the intersection

it's literally i was turning a right on the intersection. I see. Oh yeah, as soon as you hit that intersection, the car was like oh shit. The intersection of Doom got me again. You need to just like mark it off. I honestly thought

while driving back in the loaner like I'm never turning right here ever again. It's like I'm never But I can't It's the only way out of where my apartment is I have to go to this intersection I have to Well I mean at least you get stories from it God yeah

At least it'll you know Shout out to Ad Money for the podcast I guess It's gonna help pay for this car Uh What's your Costco Let's cheer it up a bit with some fun Costco to add money for the podcast, I guess. It's going to help pay for this car. What's your Costco? Let's cheer it up a bit with some fun Costco. Well, let me tell you.

So this weekend, went to Costco, thought to myself, boy, oh boy, it's Saturday. I'll go to Costco. Oh, that's a terrible idea. I hate myself, right? On a Saturday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm aware.

But it was Saturday in the afternoon, so I thought, well, all the people would have gone in the morning, surely. No, no. It was packed. Not just packed, but people fighting for parking spaces packed. And so I'm going around, driving around, looking for a place to park. And I decide to finally, you know, a lot of people are just following people. So they're holding up traffic, right? Because they're like, well, I got to follow this one person to their car.

So finally, I just gave in and did that. I was like, all right, fine. I'll just follow a person. So I follow this old Asian woman and she had this giant cart and she's parked all the furthest point you can be from the Costco. She's so far away that the only thing around her are like 15 shopping carts and they're all pushed up against uh a fence like a big brick fence that blocks off like the border of the parking lot so that's how far out i am i'm like we're all the way over and uh the the woman puts her stuff slowly in the back.

At one point, she pulled out pants, looked over the pants like she somehow didn't know how they got there. I was like, oh, pants. Folded them nicely, put them in the back of her car. Looked over some more product, put them in the back. So now I'm just waiting there like, oh, God. Okay, fine. i'm already in so she puts her cart in the pile of carts doesn't take it back just puts in the pile of carts then gets in her car but what she doesn't see is that the cart she put has now slowly begun

rolling back behind her car oh god part of me was like i should warn this woman you know what kind of tried i mean like i tried yeah there you can do but she was not paying attention she drove right into that damn thing and kept pushing it behind her car she was reversing for i'm gonna say far too long finally realized what she was doing got out moved her cart back and then drove away and i was like i've never seen anyone so oblivious she literally ran into the car a cart and then kept driving with the cart smacking into the back of her car how do you not realize dude i don't know but if there's one thing i learned about going to costco on a saturday they're more oblivious to their surroundings people at a costco on a saturday

than any place else on earth the amount of people that walk around in the aisles or like just stop randomly or like go to turn and they're the aisles full and you're coming one way and they just turn and they're like why are you coming this way? I was going that way, so why? It's like, what the? I will never. It makes me realize I never want to go back again. Like, I just hate it so much.

This is what broke you. So, it did break me. But, before we even got a parking space, while driving around, I totally forgot this bit. While driving around looking for a parking space, I'm in one forgot this bit while driving around looking for a parking space i'm in one of the lanes and there's two cars um one is is in front of me headed out and one is coming towards me on the other side of the lane and they're both waiting for someone to back out right yeah so the entire lane is held up because these two cars are right next to each

other waiting for people to back out so i'm just sitting there patiently waiting for them to move because what am i gonna do i can't reverse their cars behind me i can't go forward there's two cars in front of me so i'm just waiting but i've left enough room that if someone comes out with a cart and gets into the place between those cars and me at least i can get that parking space right seems totally reasonable dude and his girlfriend behind me Totally reasonable. Dude and his girlfriend behind me come around me, pull in front of me. And I honk at them like, dude reverses, pulls up next to me, rolls down his window and goes like, that was not necessary. There's no reason for you to honk.

And I was like, bro, you can't go anywhere. I can't go anywhere. You pulled in front of me for no reason. We're all in the same boat together, my man. And he was like, you shouldn't go anywhere. I can't go anywhere. You pulled in front of me for no reason. We're all in the same boat together, my man. And he was like, you shouldn't have hung like that. He gave me this weird look, and I was like, patience is a virtue, dude. What are you doing? I was talking to him like a baby.

I was like, patience is a virtue. You pulling in front of me does nothing. It solves nothing. It changes nothing. And he just was like, rolled up his window and drove in front of us again. I do not understand what he hoped to achieve there. There was absolutely nothing that he could have done except he was a little bit ahead of me. It's just compounding stupidities of Costco. I feel like the parking lot is half the battle.

Honest to God, I must stress this. If you go to Costco and you enjoy going to Costco, you're the problem. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. And it's not just because my car exploded. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. And it's not just because my car exploded and I'm mad at the world right now. But if you're a Costco fan and you post like, deals at Costco, I got to get the deals, you're the worst type of person. I genuinely do not like you. And if you're going to message me like, Jesse, I've been listening to you for 25 years. You know what?

Then you know I hate Costco. What are you doing? You're letting me down. You've let me down for 25 years. Like, they don't even know you hate Costco yet. And they're just like, you're just like, oh, no. You should have known. I've had a rough day, okay?

It's been rough. Now, I will say, I like Costco. And I hate you for it. I will openly say I hate you. But, I only go there like, you know, once every month or two. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much.

We need to shut that place down. We need to shut it down. The thing, the one part that always seems crazy to me is everybody goes there for gas. Because there's always one. My parents do. My parents love going there for gas. They wait in line for like 20 minutes. Yeah, and then I'm like.

By the way, hate my parents too. Hate them. Hate them. Hate everyone. Every Costco, everyone who goes to Costco and is like, hate my parents too. Hate them. Hate them. Hate everyone. Every Costco, everyone who goes to Costco and is like, it's worth it. I just, if there's a politician who wants to shut down Costco's, you have my vote. This feels like it'd be like a sitcom segment or something like this. Curb your enthusiasm segment or something. It's like, you just go to Costco and you're just like, God, I hate these people.

Who is it? You get out. It's like Alex. He's just and you're just like, God, I hate these people. Who is it? You get out. It's like Alex. He's just like, what's up, man? You're like, what are you? He's like, I love Costco. And you're like, what? You go inside.

Then I'm there. I'm like, yeah, I'm just here having fun. And you're just like, oh, my God, I hate all these people. Like someone hits your car. Like, who's this idiot? It's like Davis. He's like, yo, just decided to go to Costco. That really is a succumbent.

I hate it. Pretty bad. You're driving back home. Your car explodes. The closest place that repairs it is a Costco. It's like, no! They drag you in. It's like, oh my god god I gotta be here all day

And then your parents walk in like Jesse you're here We were just going to Costco We were gonna get our tires fixed here Like no Yeah that would be funny Yep roll credits as it's just me Sitting in the waiting room at Costco People walking around me loudly

Yelling at each other. Like, Phil! Phil, I found the Cheetos over at Phil! Like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. That'd be a great segment. Yep. But really though, I don't know why people get guys there. It seems crazy.

It's cheaper, I guess. In LA, yes. It seems crazy. Like, is it that much? It's cheaper, I guess. In LA, yes. Oh, yes. Like, it's that much cheaper? Mm-hmm. For sure. I mean, what's the, did you see the gas price? No, but I think I can look it up if I do to the internet.

Costco, gas, LA. There has to be a certain point where you value time over saving like $3 on gas. I don't see anything for Costco gas, but the Chevron nearby is $5.78. Mamma mia, that's pricey. Yeah, and I know that Costco is significantly less. Okay. Yeah, I see. that Costco is significantly less. Okay. Yeah, I see. Which I get why people go.

Like, I get it. But there's also a gas station right down the street that is 519, which is way cheaper than the Chevron. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot cheaper. Costco. I mean, and that's the one I go to. Because you can get in, you can get out.

It's not a big issue. I value my time more than I value saving 13 cents per gallon. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like there hits a point where I would rather just pay the 13 cents a gallon more and not wait 20 minutes in a jam pack parking area yeah I never like it's like when people go and a lot of restaurants in LA a lot of fancy different places in LA are just like hey we're very popular right now and if you wait 25 minutes in a long line you you can get a sandwich.

Like, there's 15,000 sandwich places in the city. Why would I wait for that? Like, I know it's good. Like, I get it. But there's other good sandwiches that are probably closer to me and just as good. Yeah. I saw one Costco gas thing is $4.79 for regular in LA. All right.

So, I mean, like, that's significantly less than five, right? Yeah. So, again, I can understand why people would go there to save some money. I get it. Yeah. You don't have... Gas is the one thing I do understand.

I'm not going to use it, but I do understand that. Like, if you said I got a Costco membership just for gas, I would be like, all right, okay. Yeah. All right., I would be like, all right, okay. Yeah. All right.

But I would still judge you for using it. Yeah. It's also one of the things that I feel like people try to save the most money on. It's like one of the things they're like, the gas prices are down like seven cents. We got to get that gas. But then the same people go like waste money somewhere else like just absolutely blow the money away but they're like seven cent gas price difference i gotta i gotta wait 30 minutes in line

but they'll like buy something at the grocery store and it goes bad in the refrigerator and it was like i go seven dollars yes oh i'm uh i'm starting to really figure out what it is i i you know actually eat because i'll buy stuff and be like yeah yeah i'm gonna definitely eat this three bags of carrots i'll make my way through like half a bag And be like Well they've all gone bad So I guess I gotta become a carrot man Now if I wanna But the three bags they were on sale And I like carrots And I'd be a fool not to get the three bags

That are cheaper than the one bag Yeah you gotta become carrot man Yeah well Being carrot man's tough You can only eat so many's tough you can only eat so many carrots yeah you can only eat so many carrots it's plus like carrots are okay uh carrots are like my favorite thing but like they're all right i like carrots i like broccoli i uh i will say when i was at costco i got a four pack of carrot celery and broccoli with a little ranch dipping cup i got a four pack of those big fan big fan of my little uh platter of veggies love that stuff yeah i mean i love all the

all the vegetables for the most part there's some where i'm like yeah but for the most part i'll eat like any vegetable yeah oh oh yeah i um also fruits i If you got like a little fruit platter, I'll eat the hell out of that. But for some reason, singular fruits. Like if you have a fruit, a pre-made fruit platter of strawberries, you know, like blackberries, cantaloupe, blueberries, pineapple, whatever. I'll eat the hell out of that. But if you gave me a package of blueberries or a package of strawberries, I'd eat like three. Dude, I love blueberries. I have no explanation for you.

I cannot explain it. Here's my issue, is that the blueberries, a lot of times, you either get fantastic blueberries or they're terrible. And they're like squishy. They're mostly out of season. Yeah, especially if they're out of season. But sometimes they'll get them in and you're like, these are great. That's because they're probably in season. It's especially especially if they're out of season but sometimes they'll get

them in you're like these are great and then that's because they're probably in season it's probably in the middle of summer and they're delicious yeah but i like blueberries all the time so i always check blueberries but then the the price goes so high and i'm like listen if i'm gonna buy these blueberries they better be good right because like i'm not paying eight dollars they're all squishy like this is terrible why'd i even do this i hate i am a anti-squishy fruit an anti-limp vegetable person i need my veggies crisp and i need my fruit like tough i want my fruit not to be like blueberries you're right i don't want a squishy blueberry i don't want a soft blueberry. I don't want a soft strawberry.

I don't want like a, you know, an apple with some bruises on it. I'm just, that's not how I roll. I don't want that. I know a lot of people are fine with it and that's cool. You can eat the ones I don't eat, but I am, I, you know, I want my vegetables crisp. I don't want like a, you know, limp lettuce or like a weird crappy looking celery stuff. I, you know, I'm a stickler. I'm a stickler for what I like.

I just, I just picture it. You say, I like my fruit strong or whatever. It's like some like orange is just like ripped going to the gym. It's like, yeah, workout. Yeah. He's juiced, dude. That orange is juiced. I did have some good juice today.

We went to that place, Yuster, that place that you and I went to that one time. Oh, yeah. That's where I had breakfast. It was great. I got a breakfast burrito and a coffee and some OJ. It was delicious. Yeah, that was, honestly, that was a great place, a breakfast burrito and a coffee and some OJ. It was delicious.

Yeah, that was, honestly, that was a great place, and I'm glad you got to go there and enjoy it before your car exploded. Before everything went to hell. I mean, the thing is, is when I was there, I realized, and again, it could be because it was a Monday at 9 a.m., but I realized that it wasn't nearly as packed as it was when we were there, and that place that we had to stand now has chairs And I was like oh I feel like the LA

You know influencer Rush is gone and now it's just a normal Restaurant again But when we were there it was the place everyone had to be at Everyone was there And now it's just like a normal chill spot And I'm just very thankful Yeah well that's nice

Sometimes you just gotta it's like getting past the like what's his name guy fieri eats there or something everyone's like i gotta go to the diner drive in and dive place and then they get like a big rush and then it calms down i'm not gonna lie i have been to several of those whenever he does an la one i will find it and go yeah i've been to a few places in the Chicago one. The one was pretty good, but he definitely plays it up a bit. I was like, this is good, but I'm not just like, oh, the cheese. Yeah, I mean, there was one that was a German-Korean fusion restaurant

that was like a sausage place. And it's good, but it's not like, in the video, it was like, oh, oh, this is game changer. I'm like, it's it's sauces that has a little like kimchi in it. It's like, all right. You know, it's like fine. It's good. But it's not like I didn't drive across the city for this. I'm fine.

I'm not coming back. Yeah, no, it's definitely that's what it was like a burger place. They like put cheese in the burger. They're like, this is crazy. And they're just like some little place. And they're just like, yes place and they're just like yes there we go and then uh it was you know it was good but i was like i'm not gonna i'm not gonna go out of my way to come back here yeah yeah it's and i think that's the fun of it it's just trying it and being like okay i did that but um i have no desire to to go back like if I lived closer, maybe.

But this city is too big for me to justify going anywhere to eat that isn't within, like, 10 minutes driving distance. Yeah. I just can't be bothered. Oh, I was getting berries. I was literally getting blueberries. Oh, I was getting berries. I was literally getting blueberries. For some reason, I know you said I was getting berries, but I thought you just started a sentence.

I was getting buried. I was like, what? I died. Where is this going? I was getting buried. They were burying me. For my new YouTube video I got buried alive And it's just you getting

Crushed by berries Dude we need to do that We need to make a video called buried alive And it's putting you in a tub And then we just pour berries on you That would be great I got buried alive in a way That you would not believe but there was uh this is the whole point of my earlier berry story i was at the the grocery

store and i was like looking at the berries i was feeling them i'm like oh these are squishy and one of the like employee people there was like bro you like touching the berries i was like yeah and he's like come on don't do that and i was like what do you mean and he was like you can't touch the food and i was like you have to see if they're good or not and he's like yeah i don't know and i was like i was like so this guy wants me to just like pick it up buy it come like take it home look at it be like this is bad yes and then bring it back and be like hey these are bad i don't want them And then return it

That's what you want instead of me just like touching it People are going to wash it Let me once again regale you with the story of my father And it taught me something Mostly about my dad but also about life We were at the grocery store And my dad Was looking at I think it was grapes

Or maybe it was nuts. I don't know. And he was like looking at them. And then he just picks them up and put them in his mouth. And the kid was like, you can't do that. My dad was like, what are you going to do about it? And honestly, I think the man's on to something. What are they going to do about it?

You're trying to find something to buy. I'm going to buy them if they're good, but I first need to know if they're good. Yeah. People do that with all of them. They pick up oranges and feel them. They pick up a bunch of stuff. But I guess they're like,

oh, but an orange, you've got to peel it. Everything's inside. But still, you're going to wash it when you get home. I am picky as hell with apples. I'll pick up 15 apples before i find the one i want yeah like if they got a problem with me i'm gonna be like bro you wouldn't

hate someone if they were knocking on a melon yeah that's come on come on like people are gonna feel this stuff that's the whole it's like you're at the you're at the market you got to feel if what you're buying is good or not right I guess maybe because the berries come in their little plastic package and they don't want you to open the packaging. I don't. Yeah, maybe. It's still, you know, it's not like you're going to the cuties, the little oranges, and opening a package of the cuties to see if the cuties inside are good. Yeah, yeah. It's a totally different thing.

It's little tiny. Every one of those, there could be like six that are good and the rest could be trash. Exactly. Because sometimes you look and you're like, oh, these look pretty good. And then you get home and they're just all squishy. There's like a moldy one in there and I'm just like, oh, this sucks. You got like, you know, if they were like $3, who cares? But now they're like $6, $7.

Exactly. They're so much more expensive. Exactly. They're so much more expensive. The difference if you go to a farmer's market, and there's so many farmer's markets in LA, they'll give you samples. They'll be like, try some of our berries. And then they'll package them. Like, here you go. We gave you some of our berries.

You're like, hell yeah. Okay, thank you. Yeah. You just got to go to the farmer's market. Yeah, except they give you less and charge you more. That's also true. But they trick you into like, but it's homegrown. Which is why it tastes better for sure. Because it isn't mass produced, but also it's more expensive. By this point, it can't be that much more expensive.

You're not wrong. The other day, driving by McDonald's that's also in the gas station hilariously. The McDonald's gas station, you can get I think it was spicy chicken nuggets but the meal was like 10 bucks. Oh my god. Like, I'm not gonna pay for

half cold fries, like lukewarm nuggets, and a Sprite for $10. Get out of here. At the gas station. Yeah, all the prices of, like, fast food stuff's gone up. And it's just like, the whole point of fast food is supposed to be bad for you and it's cheap. Now it's bad for you, it's expensive. I'd rather go eat good bad food.

Like some, you know, like a higher quality fast food place, at least. Yeah, I don't know why this came to mind but i was watching the show beef and uh what is that hey spoiler it's about beef that's crazy about a beef it's about a beef between two people that's it i see they they which ironically it's they get in a fight in a parking lot and that's and and then they can't let it go and they harass each other that's that's the show anyway um the guy from uh walking dead he is like he's he spends several scenes trying to buy property for his parents who are stuck in korea and or maybe china i don't remember hopefully that is not a racist thing don't hold it against me right um so he goes to the property sitting outside and the entire time it's like a five

minute scene of him trying to call the realtor and he has a bag of burger king and he's eating burger king sandwich after burger king sandwich and i'm just like dude what are you doing? And then he starts to get sick. And I'm like, well, there you go. And they make a point of like he has a favorite Burger King. He always goes to him. Like, no one has a favorite Burger King.

This guy just hates himself. Spoiler, he does. He hates himself. He's massively depressed. He's like, well, of course he's trying to kill himself with Burger King. He's depressed. You know, it's just your classic, my favorite Burger King. Like, just, you go to Burger King so much, you've got favorites.

Like, that's already true. He loves, the one thing I think is cute is that he loves the long chicken sandwich, which I think is funny. Those ones that look like, kind of like a sub that are just like chicken pate. Like, it's like a weird chicken paste. Deep fried. Those. And he's like getting sick, and I'm like, yeah, well of course you are.

That's all Burger King's good for is making you sick. Yeah, I haven't had Burger King in years. The fact that he had like eight sandwiches like he kept eating new sandwiches and I was like this guy must have spent $50 in sandwiches. He's broke yet he's like, got to go to my favorite Burger King. It's like, nope.

I actually just Googled it. And there's an article from last month that says, have McDonald's prices gotten too expensive? The home of the dollar menu has recently been slammed online for a Connecticut restaurant's $18 Big Mac combo and a $7 Egg McMuffin. That's so gross. That's insane. Plus, then people get DoorDash or Grubhub or whatever they're using.

And that's another like $10 on top of that. You're spending like almost $30 for your McDonald's. All those delivery services. You know what? During COVID, bless you. you kept us going yeah since then nah don't use those do not use those just get in your car and drive there you'll save time and money yeah and then get your costco guys yeah and if you can't if you can't get in a car and drive there call a friend offer them 10 bucks it'll still be cheaper yeah seriously dude if somebody one of my friends

nearby was like yo can you go pick up my mcdonald's for 10 bucks i'd be like yeah i'm just i'm saying i'm like i'll do it right now for 10 hell yeah dude i will get me i'll go get an ice cream cone while i'm there yeah that's crazy and because they because what they do is they do delivery fee yeah plus they have a driver, plus then they're like make sure to tip your driver. Yeah. Well, what's the driver fee for? Yeah the random fees You don't tip the driver the driver gets pissed at you because he didn't tip them. Yeah, so it's And then yeah, that's why overall you end up spending the same on delivery as you do on the food.

Oh, it sucks. Yeah. I mean, you can literally, hey, spoiler, you can literally just call the restaurant. Sometimes they'll deliver it. The other night got Indian, the restaurant, like, they'll deliver it. I don't have to do the fees. It's that simple. Like, it's, you know, pizza places used to do that. I don't know if they still do that anymore.

That's true. They actually, believe it or not, back in the olden days, pizza places used to do it. I mean, there's a couple other ones. But yeah, then it's all the apps started taking over and now it's just everybody has to use the apps. But a lot of those places,

they don't want to go through the apps because they get charged a lot too. But it's also why they raise their prices on those apps. So a thing that in the restaurant might be like $6 is $9. Like if you go look at DoorDash or Uber Eats or whatever and look at the price of a soda, a can of soda. It's like $3.25. Yeah. That's wild.

It's madness. But I think they're bas basing on the fact that like people are probably too lazy to care they are 100 dude especially like the amount of streamers and youtubers everybody there's like yeah doordash every meal i get you're just like what that's insane they're just dropping like thousands a year on DoorDash. Yeah, but I guess, you know, when you're young, you have the ability to not give a damn. And you're not saving for anything because you think you're going to live forever. So, like, it's cool, I guess. Whatever.

What do I know? I'm angry yelling at people at Costco. So, like, you know, do better than me, I guess. Enjoy. Enjoy life. They probably write off their DoorDash stuff. Like, this is my business lunch. That's actually really smart.

If they're doing that, they're doing the right thing then. Never mind. Screw it. Screw the government. You heard it from me, Jesse Cox. Get yours, internet. However, in this article, it does say that Taco Bell is, meanwhile, expanding its value menu to 10 items under $3.

That's because it costs Taco Bell literally pennies to make their food. That is true. But they could jack up the prices. They're just not doing it. Yeah. I did see the other day at the store, and I don't know if this is around the country. Could just be LA. But the infamous Arizona iced tea at $ cents is now $1.29.

And I'm going to let you know, it hurt a little bit. That's, man, you just, you keep seeing everything you know and love go up in price. Yep. And it's just. Heartbreak. It's heartbreaking. But you know what isn't heartbreaking? Butcher Box.

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I'm ready to go, dude. I'm very happy. And just like me who is ready to go, all that meat is ready to go whenever I want to eat it. And it's just right there. And I'm very thrilled. It makes mealtime pretty simple, especially right now. A lot of my friends are getting on like a big carnivore style diet.

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Oh, boy. Have we got some traffic today? There's a lot of traffic going on. A lot of rain. A lot of wacky weather going on out there. You got to be careful

wherever you are i mean there's there's tornadoes we got uh uh tornadoes uh water a lot of water some people call it rain uh i did five seconds ago so watch out for that and uh also it appears that we're going to be uh invaded by cicadas that's right cicadas are back and better than ever back to you better than ever i don't know it's true but you know cool i guess it's uh it does say invaders from underground are coming in cicada getting isn't uh is it every how many years what is the cicada timeline i guess they're like 15 15 to 17 or something but yeah something like that so i mean it happens they said this is gonna be the biggest cicada comeback since 1808 oh i mean for where

though not la right no according to this it is pretty much the entire south uh and then some like like illinois southern regions like southern Illinois Georgia let's see a lot of pretty much all the southeast I think they like how warm and wet it is down there honestly so there's an active periodical cicada brood in the US

that they follow and it goes wow what the hell this is fascinating they have the next brood So there's different broods that emerge at different times There are multiple broods That for example 2027, 2028, 2038

Apparently if you're in Western Ohio and Illinois 2038 is going to be a rough time for you Oh boy But it looks like The reason why this is crazy is because brood 13 and brood 19, uh, are both happening this year,

which means brood brood 13 is, uh, like heavy mid, actually they're all heavy Midwest. But for some reason, Brood 19 is also deep south as well. So it's hitting kind of everywhere except Ohio, Pennsylvania, Kentucky seem pretty okay. But Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, like all the way up are going to get just wrecked. Yeah.

Somehow Texas isn't getting hit. It's like cut off there. Although in 2032, they're getting them. Oh, I see. Yeah, 2032 is going to be rough for the middle of the country. Luckily, we're just getting like normal cicadas. I can deal with that. We got the yellow on the weather apocalypse oh yeah the yellow that's brood x so that you're not gonna

have that till 2038 it looks like oh i see all right yeah that's what i was saying so your brood x sounds awesome by the way it does that sounds like an evil plan they're like release brood x it It really does. I would always wonder, because when I lived in Ohio, we'd have cicadas all the time. And now I see there's three different broods. Yeah. It looks like there's brood 14, which is 2025. And then immediately after that is 20. What is that?

Purple is 2033, then 2038. Okay. So there's a time period. But next year Southern Ohio gets hit And Kentucky. Kentucky gets wrecked Wow Yeah, wow

Cicadas are crazy They destroy They're loud and annoying And eat everything Yeah, they just bump into everything I remember one time I was like Bumped into one time I was like, just standing there, like bumped into my shoulder.

I was like, ah! Like, they'll just fly around and hit you. They just like die. They got their like shells and shit laying around. There's some other weird bug, and I don't know what it's called, but I remember being a kid

and going to Lake Michigan, and I was there with my friends, and it was so gross because there were these bugs that looked like they had faces on their butts, and there were millions of them. and the hotel we were staying at they were oh all they were all over everything it was so gross and i don't remember what they were called but i remember they were just i guess very similar to a cicada and that they were everywhere and it

was that time of the year when they come back and it was every so many years they showed up huh yeah i don't know what other bug it would be somebody will probably know uh yeah i have no clue what it is but it is not a pretty looking bug they were ugly um so watch out for Yep. That's the traffic. All right, let's go to weather. Ooh, weather time is here. We got a weather request for, hold on, let me. Dumferlene, Scotland. It's the old capital of Scotland. Dumferlene?

Dunfermline. So it's Dun and then Firmline. Dunfermline. I would say it's Dunfermline. I mean, it looks like an old capital. There's a lot of old ruins, but also like it's a beautiful city. Currently in Dunfermline, Scotland, it is 44 degrees with rain. Who would I guess? It is 44 degrees with rain. Who would I guess? Feels like 36. 29.44 inches of pressure. 94% humidity. 7 mile visibility. 640 AM sunrise. 755 PM sunset. Winds at 15 miles per hour. 42 on the dew point. 0 of 11 on the UV index with a waning gibbous moon phase. Taking a look at the 10-day. Beep, boop, beep, boop, beep. We've got 46 with light rain on Tuesday. Wednesday, 44 with rain.

Thursday, 46 with rain. Friday, 52 with rain. Saturday, 56 with rain. Sunday, 53 with rain. Monday, 56 with rain. And this might shock you, but every day after that is 50s with rain. It's all it is. I will say, looking at the city, every photo I see is of people walking,

which makes you think it's a walking city, but I have no actual knowledge of that. So I would say to anyone who actually lives there, to our beloved listener, what's the deal? Is it like a pretty good walking city? Because every photo is like old people walking around. Oh, yeah. I guess it is right by Edinburgh, right? Edinburgh! Edinburgh.

So it's like you just go north, across that bridge, the fourth bridge, and then you're right in there. It was the fourth bridge, yeah. The fourth bridge. I then you're right in there. It was the fourth bridge. Yeah, the fourth bridge. I wonder how, what's the distance on that? Like, it's not that far.

Maybe like a 30 minute drive, maybe? Yeah. Doesn't seem too bad. Definitely if you were there in the city, you could go over here and hang out. Yeah. It doesn't look that far away.

It's got such famous restaurants as Tim Hortons. And Papa John's. I like how as soon as I zoomed in, I'm like, what crazy places do they have? Tim Hortons, Papa John's. Wow. Golden Kitchen, which is a photo of just a box of French fries. Oh, here we go. Stephen bakery drive-thru wait bakery drive-thru there's a lot of dessert places but also places that look like uh all right i need to know from anyone who lives here how americanized is scotland because look at these places holy crap they are it's like i'm looking at a basket and robbins it's just not called basket and robbins

this place is called doom this place is called bob and bert's This place is called Bob and Bert's. Bob and Bert's. Bob and Bert's Proper Coffee Great Grub. Bob and Bert's. That's the type of place. Oh, I see it. 4.2 for Bob and Bert's. I'd go to Bob and Bert's.

The old Seven Kings. Is that a pub? That's got to be. It's a something. Jim Jack's Fish and Chips. Jim Jack's. Jim Jack's. Dude jim jacks is a 4.9 yo i'm going in oh that's gotta be good i love a good chippy bruv i found the pj malloy and sons i don't know what's going on here but it's like a bar bar with a okay well you know it's a girl in a chair and like leather

slapping her ass i'm looking at the first thing i found yep it's the first thing i saw there's a sign above her that says bread street and i'm gonna say caked up caked up is what i'm gonna say yeah girl got a butt yeah good on her but then the next photo down for me is a couple, like an old couple, like, we're here to listen to the bands. Which is cute. Yeah. That's cute. Good on them. Yeah, it seems like a lot of performances happening here.

Yeah, probably it's a venue. I don't see any food or anything, so. Yeah, it definitely seems like a venue. But a lot of, like, rocker girls get it, ladies. I'm impressed although here's a guy looks like he's like a 2007 uh male band like the like type that'd be like hey there no i like that type i did i found a ska band so that's pretty good i'm feeling good about that yeah i mean i bet you look i scotland's on my list i bet it's a fun time yeah i'd stop by i'd walk around the town for a day end up at uh pj malloy and sons for a concert

i'd do it and then you'd go to jim and jack's or jim jack's i'd go get that yeah that jim jack's fish that 4.9 215 reviews reviews. Come on, that's good. Yeah, they have literally no one, two, or three stars. It's like all five pretty much. That sounds great. Spotless, clean, gluten-free fish and chips. Come on. Portion size, excellent.

Great place to eat fish. Great deals. All the reviews are just crazy about this place. Yeah, that seems awesome. Yeah, I'd go late night, come back. What's crazy is apparently as far as I can tell,

what are the hours this place? Look, it says on... It opens at 4pm. It's open 5 hours a day, except on Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Oh yeah, 4 to Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Oh, yeah. Four to nine.

And then it's 12 to nine. Sunday, it's open four hours a day. And Friday and Saturday, it's open 12 to nine. Yeah. Friday, Saturday, it's open all day. You know you got to be balling if you're like, we only open five hours a day. Yeah. No, that's got to be good.

Open five hours a day and everybody's giving you five stars. Like that's got to be, that's the top tier. You know, you know, you're good. If you can just make your own like stupid hours, be like, if you want it, like they aren't even open late at night. Like, you know what? No, there's no late night food for you. You want it to be here by nine.

Yeah. They don't want to deal with the drunks either. Damn. I crave the power that these people have. That's some fish and chip power right there. That's amazing. That's fish and chip power. And that is the weather. All right, let's go to sports.

Sports. Welcome to Sports Desk. NCAA basketball happening. We had the women's tournament going on right now. We had Iowa just beat LSU. And it looks like USC is currently beating UConn. Don't know how that'll finish. Then the men's bracket.

We got, I believe, NC State is taking on Purdue in the Final Four, and then UConn is taking on Alabama in the Final Four. I didn't expect Alabama and NC State there, but here they are. Then over in baseball, we've actually had some baseball games happen, and the Yankees are 4-0. The Orioles right behind them at 3-1. The Tigers are 3-0. The Rangers 3-1. The Braves 3-1. The Pittsburgh

Pirates are 5-0. What's happening? My dad very happy. And Diamondbacks 3-1. Dodgers 4-2 right behind them. In basketball, we've got the Celtics at the top 59-16.

They've clinched first, and they will be first very easily. And then the Thunder and Nuggets in the Western Conference have both clinched playoff spots half a game apart from each other as we get to the end of the season, as people start fighting for those final playoff spots. And same thing happening over in hockey. And same thing happening. Layoffs!

Over in hockey, you got the Stars, the Avalanche, Canucks all clinched already. And then the Bruins, Panthers, Rangers, and Hurricanes have clinched in the Eastern Conference. And that's sports. All right. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day of the day. It's the fact fact of the day. Fact of the day of the day. It's the fact fact of the day. Great. You know what? We need a jingle. Like a real... If anyone out there

listening right now wants to make a jingle using the words that Crandor said. Like that song he just made up. You want to take that little ditty, turn it into something. I would play it i would insert it there instead of his nonsense and then i can even add in fact fact fact of the day

there you go it's the fact of the day it's the fact of the day there we go easily easily you can make something out of, you can make something out of that. You can produce something out of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I have to read the fact. So, we got a fact. Let's see. There's got to be a good one here.

No, we've already heard that one. Some of these facts, I'm like, dude, we've already heard these facts. We're like, we're going to win Jeopardy. We've already heard these facts. We're like, we're going to win Jeopardy. We've already heard these facts. That's a... I don't know. That one's okay. Wait. Okay, hold on.

This one says, Wally Amos is responsible for making more than just cookies famous is that like the famous amos oh famous amos cookies sure yeah what else did wally amos do that says you may be familiar with wally famous amos thanks to the packaged chocolate chip cookies but before he worked on his uh sweet treats he was in the business of making people famous he discovered and signed folk duo simon and garfunkel and was a talent rep for acts like diana ross sam cook and marvin gay crazy so wait what yeah i guess so he was just not only was he famous amos but he was like in charge of making people famous amos dude

all right I had to figure out how this all connected so I went to his Wikipedia by the way 87 living in Florida his photo is him and a watermelon hat I see that but according to this he basically became a mailroom

clerk for William Morris Talent Agency. And then he became the agency's first African-American talent agent. He then signed Simon and Garfunkel and headed the rock and roll department. According to Wikipedia, this is what it says. Amos attracted clients by sending them chocolate chip cookies, along with an invitation to visit him. He represented musicians like you said, Temptation, Sam Cooke, Marvin Gaye. In 1975 1975 a friend

suggested that amos set up a store to sell his cookies and in march of that year the first famous amos cooking store opened in los angeles california he started the business with the help of marvin gay and helen reddy they gave him a loan wow that's wild that's such a it's a crazy story wild that's that is that's crazy that he lured them in with cookies what a different time that was it was just you're just like hmm let's see who uh who should my agent be or like whatever there's like this guy sent us cookies. I'm not going to lie. If someone made,

if I had an agent, like I've had many agents, not one of them has made me a cookie. Half of them don't even call me. Yeah, that's true. I'd be like, this guy cares.

Yeah, I get it. Yeah, you'd be like, dude, Amos, these cookies are good. You should sell them.

That's incredible. I'm blown away. That is actually insane. That's a good fact. Look at that. Amazing. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, that's your fact of the day.

All right, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Day, day the day. Speaking of famous, famed groundhog Puxatawney Phil is now a dad of two babies. How'd that happen? How'd that happen? Let's see. He's going crazy down there. Hey, let's see.

He's going crazy down there. We now know that Puxatawney Phil, the groundhog, who predicts whether an early spring will arrive each February 2nd, we know what he does the other 364 days. Pennsylvania group that handles Phil and his groundhog wife Phyllis says the couple have become parents. It appears that they are pleased to announce that he has... I don't like that his wife's name is Phyllis. I don't like

that. Phil and Phyllis? And his sister wife Phyllis. Like, I don't like it. It doesn't... It's not good. That'd be like if I married someone named Jessica. Yeah, that would be kind of weird. I don't like it. I don't like it. Yeah. And you know they named them those things. Yes.

Yes. They did it on purpose. Oh, I hate that. That is weird. We're pleased to announce that Puxatawney Phil has had his first children. We believe they are two baby groundhogs and that Phil and Phyllis have started a family. Wait, we believe? I was about to say we believe.

Oh, we believe their art. I was like, wait, what? Okay, that makes more sense. We're not really sure what the animals are, but we believe they're baby groundhogs. Thomas Dunkel said, president of a tuxedo-clad group called the Inner Circle that carries on the groundhog tradition each year.

What the shit? That sounds like a cult. That's a cult. That's a cult. I like how they just casually mentioned that. It's like the tuxedo-clad group, the Inner Circle. Okay, hold on. The Inner Circle.

And you know, here's the thing. You know it started as a fun, like, it's the Inner Circle. Get it? We all dress up in tuxedos and we pull the groundhog out and we determine whether it's going to be more winter but i guarantee since that tradition started someone's made it weird oh 100 like if you want in the inner circle you must first do these weird bizarre things and then kill a man it's it's actually if you go to groundhog.org slash inner dash circle you can see the inner circle and there are there's a lot of inner circle members there's i would say one too many inner circle members because like when i think of it i'm like okay how many are there like five

six there's like what is this one two three uh four eight twelve like 15 16 it's too yeah it's too many it's although you can go to the inner circles groundhog ball that's pretty good that's true yep saturday february 3rd 2024 sold out tom dunkel he's the president. You've got Dan McGinley, the vice president. Jason Gruski's the secretary. The treasurer is Josh Farkas. Then you've got his handler, A.J. Darium. The Iceman, Butch Philiber. Okay, what is the Iceman?

Iceman, that dude kills enemies. He definitely does. If anyone gets too close to the Groundhog home, Send the Iceman, that dude kills enemies. He definitely does. If anyone gets too close to the Groundhog home, send him to the Iceman. They'd send him to the Iceman. He puts him in a freezer. All their names, the most Pennsylvania names I've ever heard in my entire life. Yeah. They really are.

Jeff Lundy is the Fairweather Man. John Johnston man John Johnston John Johnston That's the guy who named her Phyllis Oh 100% He looks like he would too Is the chief health man Dave Gigliotti is the thunder conductor

Dude come on They're just making stuff up so they can like This is like when the mob Yeah yeah that's Tuna the fish. He's in construction. Yeah, I construct. That's Big Lips Maroon.

He is a driver. Yeah, okay. He's just like, yeah, I drive, I ain't saying nothing. And that's the Iceman. We don't talk about what he does. And neither does he. He's too cold to talk. And so are all his victims.

I mean, clients. Okay, Patrick Osakowicz is the Ozone. Stop. Stop. You can't call man the Ozone. Yeah, he is the Ozone. Stop. Stop. You can't call man the Ozone. Yeah, he's the Ozone. Jory Sarian is Daybreaker. Now these are just call signs of X-Men.

Yeah. Come to me, my X-Men. Ozone. Daybreaker. Rob McCoy is Downpour. They're literally X-Men. Yeah, they're just becoming x-men now uh patrick cassaday is the head huntsman rob gemmel is the storm builder come on man and jay lundy is overcast my dad if he heard these names he'd be in he'd be like yeah i love the groundhog club they didn't hear their code names and he'd be in. He'd be like, yeah, I love the Groundhog Club. They didn't hear their code names.

And he'd be like, losers. And he'd never talk about it again. And then Marcy Galando is the executive director. Well, right. Because she's the one. That's like when you look at the X-Men, it's like, I'm Storm. And I'm Wolverine. I'm Cyclops.

Oh, I'm Jean Grey. That's the exact same thing that's yeah um they said we're pleased about it and i talked to phil with my cane which lets me speak groundhog ease and phil cannot be more excited he started a family what's the over under on them really believing that cane can speak to the groundhog? You know, I'd say at least over half of them believe it. Yeah, I'm going to agree with that. I'm going to say that it's cult-like now.

No one's going to question it. They all know it doesn't really work, but no one's going to say otherwise. Yeah, I think some of the higher-ups have done it so long, they really believe it though i talk to him every day yeah and then down downpour is just like it doesn't really talk to him though right and everyone just looks at him he's like right like we're not really talking to him there's like downpour get ice man over here get ice man over to handle it. Phil emerges from his borough each year on February 2nd, blah blah blah. Phil and Phyllis live in climate-controlled quarters

at the Puxtatani Memorial Library, but like most growing families, they now need larger digs. Club plans to move them to a larger home on the library grounds. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, Puxtatani Phil comes with his own mythology, including the claim that he will live forever due to

imbibing some magic juice called the Elixir of Life. His wife is not allowed to partake of the elixir, and thus is not immortal, where our groundhog suffragets when they are truly needed. I don't like that he must live and watch all he loved die.

Yeah, that is weird. That's what they set up here. He's a vampire. He's like Wolverine! Oh shit, he is Wolverine! He's Wolverine! Whoa, dude! His healing factor is too strong. And what

about the kids? Will they someday inherit the responsibility of predicting whether there will be six more weeks of winter? Will they have to spend their lives waiting for dad to shuffle off to that big burrow in the sky before they can inherit the throne? But he won't, because they'll be forever. What are you talking about? Yeah. Alas, no, Dunkle says, because their father is

immortal. There will always be only one of him. It's so dark. This is so messed up this shit's crazy i didn't know that i needed to know the lore of something so silly but it is dark i didn't either yeah this is like the people read that and be like yeah that's fine but like yeah this shit gets crazy this is real dark you think Tom Dunkle makes him drink the juice? I mean, like, yeah. He's like, we got a good thing going here.

You're going to drink this. She's like, but what about my children? Can't you give them a drop? He's like, no. He actually is talking to him with a cane. That's why only he gets to talk to him with a cane. Because if people heard what he was saying, they'd be like, surely we could give his kids a drop. No, there's only enough for me and enough for this guy.

That's it. I too shall live forever. Me, Dunkleman the Immortal. Also, they have Cold Snap, Samuel Adams, the official beer of Groundhog Day. Again, I like that the Sam Adams beer also has an X-Men name. Yeah. It's very thematic. It is. And that is the news story of the day.

All right. Well, that's it for us. Thanks so much for listening or watching. I've enjoyed this podcast. Crendor, hit them with the socials. Boy, have we got socials. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. Thank you. know that by now also we're on itunes soundcloud spotify if you want to listen to it somewhere else also we're uh we got stuff we do over on youtube jesse cox youtube crendor twitch jesse cox twitch crendor facebook jess cox facebook crendor twitter jess cox twitter crendor instagram notorious cox

instagram crendor was taken tiktok crendor tikt Cox, TikToks, Patreon Jess Cox, Patreon Crendor. That's it. Thanks so much. And as always, shake the rhino to be continued.