Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 426 - Monkey Jail

Episode Date: June 2, 2024

Come see Cox n' Crendor Live! https://t.co/EeWQDuVDe1 The boys are back and this time Jesse meets the newest character in the Cox n' Crendor rogues gallery. Also is having dreams about your friends weird? FIND OUT! Then Crendor explores the world of Monkey Jail! All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://factormeals.com/cox50 and use code cox50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. Go to http://meundies.com/crendor to get 20% off your first order and free shipping.

Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies are the undies that I have on me. Also today we're brought to you by Factor. Factor is going to get you those good meals so you can eat pretty damn good as well. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Gax and Credo and the Blood Egg. It's that time again. Oh boy. Are we doing show tunes now? Is this us? No, the show tunes are over. How was it?

Oh, it's just like, it's that time again. And that's all you had? That's all I got. That's enough show tunes for the day. You could have been like, welcome back, my friend. Yeah, no, that's if I kept going, but I didn't. I stopped. That's your show tune of the day.

We'll spend together for an hour talking about stuff. Sure. Or you could quit listening if you've had enough. I mean, like, it's fine. Yeah, I mean, you can keep going if you want. I'm done. No, you know what? I feel like I'm okay.

Well, how are you doing? I have a lot that I wanted to share with you. I wrote it all down, too. But before we even get to that, literally today. Like, today I went out and I saw a friend's new movie. It was lovely. He had a wonderful screening of this film he directed and it was very cute. It was a murder mystery.

Love the whole thing. But because I, you know, I want to go support in style. I took some of my clothes to the dry cleaner in order to get, you know, some nice shirts dry cleaned. And I went to go pick it up this morning. in order to get some nice shirts dry cleaned. And I went to go pick it up this morning. As I go to the dry cleaner, in the parking lot is a dude in the most flamboyant Jeep I've ever seen. Not like cool, fun flamboyant, but like I've got a lot of opinions

on immigrants flamboyant. And he's sitting there listening to, I swear to you, just a jazzier version of Right? Look at the giant stogie. The biggest cigar I've ever seen. And his window's down and he's just sitting there. I don't know what this man's doing there.

I don't know why he's there. But he's parked and the only other parking space available is right behind him. Right? On the opposite side of the parking lot. Yeah. So I pull in, walk to go get my laundry, get my laundry, pay the nice lady, take my laundry, put it in my trunk, get in my car, and I begin to back up. And because I have one of those cars that has, like, the beep, beep, beep, beep when you back up, and it has the screen that tells you if you're going to, you know, if it's like green then yellow then red right so i use it all the time and the damn thing i never get to red i just never get to red because the one time i did get to red i bumped in this dude's car because he had

again a giant pickup truck and i had no space and i thought i had space, and I didn't, right? Yeah. So I never let it get to red. And so I get to yellow, and then I drive away. I'm driving down the street, and I start to hear honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk. I'm like, what the hell? So I'm at a red light. This dude pulls alongside me. Same guy, stogie in mouth, except his shades are down now. And he's like like stop right there bro

stop right there stop right there like what the hell he's like you hit my car you hit my car and you're gonna drive away you're gonna drive away dude this guy must have been 70 maybe talk like the bro is bro whoever lived right and i'm like, what? The man, Grandor, I was at a red light in the middle of the road. He got out of his car, walked up to my car. And I was like, I'm so confused. What's going on? I was trying to be very, like, diffuse the situation. Like, I'm sorry, what's going on?

He's like, you hit my car. I was like, I promise you I did not hit your car. And he's like, I felt a bump. I felt a bump. I was like, ah, I don't think I did that. I have this camera here, and I backed up to yellow, and then I moved on. He's like, no, don't lie to me. I felt the bump.

And I was like, you're more than welcome to check the car, but can we pull over? And he's like, you're going to stay right here. Meanwhile, cars are getting behind us honking. And because I was positive this guy would chase me, I was just enjoying them honking at him. Oh, yeah. And so I was like, I'm telling you telling you my man i did not back into you i i if you want we can pull over and i will show you how my camera

works and show you exactly where i was when i backed out i turned there's no way i could have hit you with the back of my car because he's like you hit me you hit me and i was like feel free to check the back of my car and the back of your car for any damage if there's any damage i will gladly give you my insurance car but i promise you i did not hit you and he's like okay and he's he's inspecting the back of our cars in the middle of the street dude what the shit people are driving around us and yelling at him, so I'm enjoying the whole thing. I don't even give a shit. I was like, yes.

And he's yelling at them. And so he looks at the car. He's like, all right, well, there's no damage. But I know what I know. I'm like, all right, I understand. But I did not hit you. I promise you I didn't hit you. He's like, well, I'm going to have to take your word for it.

I don't even know you. I'm like, well, that's unfortunate, but I don't know you either. And I know that I didn't hit you. He's like, well, I'm going to have to take your word for it. I don't even know you. I'm like, well, that's unfortunate, but I don't know either. And I know that I didn't hit your car and you've chased me down to tell me that I hit your car and I did not. And that seems very aggressive to me. And he's like, well, this is why people have to talk like normal people. I was like, yes, that's exactly, exactly. And he's like, okay, well, I know what I know. I'm like, yeah, all right. Again, I did not hit you. I swear to you I didn't hit you.

All right, he gets back in his car. All of his windows are down. He picks up the cigar that he put in the cup holder, by the way, which I'm sure is ash everywhere in his car. Sucks on a little bit, puffs out smoke and goes, that's what's wrong with America. No one wants to talk anymore. And I'm like, have a good one.

And he's like, I know you hit me. I was like, I'm telling you, I did not hit you. I walked past you, noticed you were in your car. Oh, because he said to me, he said, did you notice I was even in my car? Is that why you drove away? And I was like, no. I walked past you to get my laundry,

noticed you in your car listening to music, some very cool music like that, by the way, and I saw you smoking a cigar, and then I got in my car. I definitely noticed you were there. I wasn't trying to hit and run you. And he's like, okay. Okay.

And then I drove off. I was like, so I'm going to go. And he's like, okay. Just like still staring me down like maybe I did something wrong. And I was just like, I really feel like he just wanted to fight someone. He was trying to get in a fight. Because why else was he in the parking lot? What was he doing in the parking lot just sitting there smoking a cigar,

listening to smooth jazz? And then he just happened to see me and then come directly after me. I was like, what the hell is this guy's problem? And I was just like, all right, dude. Cool. And just drove off. And then he got back in his car and then kept going somewhere. I don't know where the hell he went.

But we were in the middle. For anyone who lives in LA who has listened to this, we were in the middle. For anyone who lives in L.A. who has listened to this, we were in the middle of Washington Boulevard. That is one of the busiest streets in the city. This dude did not care. I was like, I'm not going to drive away, because if anyone's going to pull out a gun and shoot me, it's this guy.

He does not care about anyone at all. Clearly. And I was like, yeah, sure, man. I was just very casual. And he was like, this is why people need to talk more. I was like, I didn't say it, but I was like, you came at me really aggressive.

If I was at your level and you came out, you pulled up to the side of my car, yelled at me, got out of your car and walked up to my driver's window. If I was anyone else, if this was a different state, you would have got your ass shot, dude. Yeah, this is. It was insane. This was at 9.15 in the morning, I think. Like around between 9 and 10.

So yeah, dude smoking a cigar at 9 a.m. That's already a sign. I'm telling you. I was like, oh, boy. Here we go. But the minute I was done, I did speech to text on the way home. I was like, all right. Need to remember this entire thing for Crendor.

Yeah, this was... we need a name for this guy he's got to be like stogie sam stogie steve stogie steve that's a that's a better one america's freedom cigar smith was it okay hold on so he was like in his car right like he wasn't outside of his car no he was in again if you can imagine a parking lot that's just big enough to have a path through the middle for cars to drive. And then on the right and the left are parking spaces, right? And it's like just a little mini mall area with a CVS at the end of it. And there's a cleaning place there. And he was parked right outside the cleaning place, smoking a cigar.

parked right outside the cleaning place, smoking a cigar. I walked past him after I parked and then got my laundry, then walked back. He was still sitting there smoking a cigar. I don't know what he was doing in that parking lot at all. Maybe that's where he loves smoking his stogie. Maybe. The only other places in that shopping center are a nail salon, a Korean barbecue place. No place is either open or a place that I think he would go to. Right.

So I don't know why he was... And he was nowhere near the CVS, which is on the way far other end. So again, I feel like he was just sitting there waiting to fight somebody because he was in a fighting mood. He might have just been waiting to fight somebody. I think so too. Yeah. No, it's, especially with the attitude of like, the people don't want to talk these days, which is more just like, nobody wants to talk to him.

Yeah, it's the same vibe as when like, you see those videos of the old ladies fighting with cashiers and you're like, oh, she just wants someone to talk to.. Yeah, it's the same vibe as when you see those videos of the old ladies fighting with cashiers and you're like, oh, she just wants someone to talk to. That's so sad. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little suspicious. I don't think Stogie Steve is up to no good. Yeah, Stogie

Steve, you know, he's no Gray Storm, that's for sure. He's doing my business. Yeah, he's no Newport Richie. But who is, really? Yeah, that's true. I also have another story that I have to read verbatim because it was a dream I had. Okay.

I woke up and wrote this down. This was six days ago at 2.38 a.m. I wrote this down. So this is, I went to bed at like 11. So this is, you know, about almost four hours in. Right. Had a dream where Crandor was hosting a panel at an outdoor festival

put on by Jack Black. It was about expanding consciousness yet for some reason put on by Jack Black. It was about expanding consciousness, yet for some reason, he tried his hardest to be funny, but no one thought it was funny. Damn, this is getting too real.

I wrote down, in fact, it felt painful. I was there with my parents for some reason, and as it went on, people fell more and more asleep. Krendel was trying to tell them about chakras, but making jokes the entire time, which no one got. While he was doing so,

I was busy scratching on a baseball bat or sword hilt, some type of hilt, because underneath it was the metallic figure of a little man, and I wanted that figure. I had no idea. In the dream, it was a little metal, almost like a toy soldier looking guy, but it was like a buff buff dude and i was just chipping away at it eventually crendor ended and i got up to leave but jack black stopped me and was like oh jesse cox is here too and waved and came over to say hi well now for some reason right right for some reason he looked like young jack black, like Jack Black from the movie. And then I wrote down the wrong movie name, of course.

But I was thinking of Demolition Man because he's in that movie. But for some reason, the movie I wrote down, I guess it was autocorrected because it says Dune and that's not correct. But I feel like it just autocorrected because it was 2.38 a.m. Oh, yeah, probably. My parents said, wow, he looks really good for being older. And my dad said, that's cause he's married. That's something your dad would probably say. Yeah.

Yeah. Then I woke up. I realized the reason I was probably having all those dreams is because when I went to bed I was watching you play Kaizo Ironmon or whatever the hell that thing is. Right. And I think I fell asleep

while watching you and it played just old videos of yours. So I got a mix of both you playing Kaizo Iron mon and then Tropico or something you were playing something. Oh yeah I was playing Tropico. So when I woke up it was the end of whatever that game was so I guess Tropico and I think the two of them combined your voice into my dream where

it was you giving a presentation on chakras and stuff and I was like dude I think I got incepted by Krendor so that yeah that happened to me dude that genuinely seeing the Trafico thing that may have summoned Stogie Steve as well he heard

he just like just came out of nowhere he was like formed by atoms they just showed up that's why it doesn't make sense why he was there it's just the universe i need to find a top to spin to make sure i'm i'm actually still in reality yeah yeah that's uh that's an odd coincidence too yeah yeah i didn't even think about that until now, but I realized, yeah, and again, I don't usually what will end up happening is I'll set some sort of timer. So if I'm watching or listening or whatever, something in my phone will go off by itself. But I guess I just fell asleep in the middle of you playing that.

And yeah, just kept playing your videos all night while I slept until I woke up. It was like, what the hell? Now, if only everybody could do that, I'd be doing a lot better. Yeah. Look, I can't help it. I go to bed roughly the time you're on, like, hour two of you suffering in a video game. And I put it on, and I lay there and talk shit shit and chat and then I fall asleep. It's great. It's good stuff.

Yeah, luckily yesterday Blood Bowl was bad, Kaizo was bad but then I played Sinvicta in Battleship and he also was like, I'm having terrible luck and luckily his luck was worse than mine so I think I cursed him more than that. Did you finally do that? I know that was a promise you had made to poor Sinvicta years ago.

Oh, we've played Battleship numerous times. Oh, okay. I thought you were putting it off. You just kept putting it off and putting it off. I was like, that poor man. No, we played it numerous times, but this was for his sub-a-thon from a few weeks ago. And so, I've been putting it off from that. And so, I was like, alright,

I'm good to play after failing so many times at Kaizo. I was like, I need a battleship break. And it worked out. I beat him. Speaking of subathon, what is happening that I'm now involved in something of yours? What is, oh, from, okay. So yesterday we were talking about the non-content subathon. All right. So I did one last year and it was pretty fun, but people were like, you should have Jesse play Kaizo on a sub-a-thon. I was like, why would – Jesse would not come on to my stream to play Kaizo for one of my sub-goals.

It would have to be like a Jesse sub-a-thon. I mean, I'd do it. I don't know how I'd do it, but I'd do it. You would do it. Yeah, just logistically I don't understand how. I'm not that smart enough to figure out how i would stream to your stream i don't know that or how i would come on i don't know either i would have to like capture your window or like watch you play it i don't know i would

have to yeah it seems complicated it is complicated uh i was mainly saying that because i was like i need to do a non-content subathon again because now i gotta buy a new car ah i understand yeah so my car i do it to stream a lot after my tire exploded so i get it i get it so at first i was like yeah we could probably do one of those now I'm like all right well now I definitely want to do one of those uh because yeah my car he's like yeah this shit's like rusting here and this stuff and he's like I'm not gonna lie this car is gonna probably keep nickel and diamond you for a while I'll just get a new one so I was like all right well that's fine with me so I started looking at new and by new I mean new used cars. Right, of course. So right now, I'm probably going to get a Toyota Camry. That's what I'm leaning towards.

Because as we heard from the other episode we did, Toyota, one of the best cars you can get for just consistency, not falling apart, just lasting a long time. So I was like, hey, even if you buy one with like 50 000 miles on it that they'll probably last you like 15 years still i do feel like uh if you're gonna get a new car even if it's used you should definitely get um all the like bells and whistles in that car you know like the cameras and the different things just because it's so life-changing dude i can't go back i can't i can't do it well yeah that whole like looking behind you that's for suckers man oh yeah no i definitely want the rear view uh camera thing that's like the main

technology i want i don't care about like the supercomputer screen or anything like i don't mind like a touch screen or something but i kind of still like pushing buttons like I don't need a super touch screen but I do like the rear view camera so I'd probably want one of those oh yeah I don't uh every time I see people use like um teslas and things the buttons are on the screen I'm like yo that seems like a pain in the ass yeah I hate that the other day I took an uber and the driver – I got picked up on one of those giant escalades, which I'm not going to say no to that, but it seemed like too much. Yeah. But everything in it was digital. It was crazy.

He had a giant screen that was the whole front of the car. The rearview mirror was also a screen? That tripped me. It was nighttime and it looked like it was day. It tripped me. I was like, yo, that actually is awesome. I don't know how necessary that is, but that's the tech I want in a car. The whole thing was amazing.

I was talking to him about it, and he's like, this is the brand new 2023 model. And I was like, wow. I mean, how did you get this? He was like, oh, I do the leasing program. I get a new one every two years. And I was like, oh, that's awesome, but aren't you afraid that by doing Uber dudes are going to puke in the car and stuff?

He's like, hasn't happened yet. I give them my angry stare if they're sick. I'm like, okay. Okay. They were going to vomit, but I stared at them. I stared them down. That'll teach them. Yep, yep.

So yeah, I'm pretty excited. I'm not a car person, as you probably know. So I'm the type where I would rather drive a car as long as possible. So that's why I was like, listen, at this point, if I'm going to spend thousands of dollars on repairs, I may as well just put that down on a new car and just not have to pay repair bills in the future, too. Hopefully. So, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you might as well do it. You don't want to end up like my parents. My poor mom. She's like, our car is falling apart. I don't want to get a new car because I don't new car. And then we'll just be like those old people who die and have a new car. And I'm like, what the hell?

car and then we'll just be like those old people who die and have a new car and i'm like what the hell i'm like that's so dark mom so she she doesn't want to get a new car just because she doesn't want to be the old person that dies with the yes she's like that all then like what are you gonna do have a second car i'm like what a scenario are you living in? Just get a car. It doesn't have to be a brand new car. Your car, here's the thing. In my mind, their car isn't old, but in reality, their car is a 2002 car. Yeah, so it's pretty old. So it's an old car, right?

But I'm like, it's after the 2000s, so it's new. But that's not true. It's old, and they keep having to do huge repairs to it. And it's just like, just get like a new, like, find a 2015 or something. You'll be fine. It'll be okay. But I think she's just like, then we'll have a new car and then we'll both die. And I'm like, why?

Why is that your attitude? Or you could have a new car. And what if that car's so good it helps you live longer? Yeah. What if it's such a smooth ride, you're like, my back pains went away. Like, who knows? Just acting like it's the police officer last day on the job thing. It's like, as soon as you get that car, you're dead.

It's over. You get a new car, and you're over 65. You're dead. Like, why even bother? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. i do think that's the thing i want to i want a car between the years of like 2015 and 2019 i think one of those i think it's a good amount because i think if you go past 2020 i don't know what happened in the covid years right i'm like oh did they start like struggling with parts and stuff i don't want that

but if you go too far back i'm like then you're starting to get into the range of like my other car so i'm like you know what give me like a nice middle ground i think that's where it's still gonna have the buttons right but it's still got a touch screen and the rear view thing so i'm like that's perfect we get just modern enough but not too modern so that's what i'm aiming for yeah mine's a 2017 and i have a like a monitor dashboard thing and it does just fine. And I still have buttons, which is great. Sometimes people press the wrong button, Crandor, and break my car, but

like, it's fine. Yeah, who would do that? Also, my car, both the front and rear windshield have been broken. You know, LA, baby. I've had my tires explode at least three times i just god i put so much money into this car like i couldn't even get a new car if i wanted dude yeah it's it there definitely does hit a point where i think some people are like i don't need a new car i don't need one and then it's like you just keep putting money into it and it it's just like, it's just going to keep sinking money out of you. And it's like,

you may as well just upgrade at that point, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's no shame in being like, thanks old car, but you can't take me any further. Like you're just, you're not going to work and that's fine. It happens truthfully. Yeah. as long as you spend within your budget like if they're telling you it's four thousand dollar repair then you know find a car that you can afford that would offset the cost of that right it just makes more sense yeah exactly so because your car's only gonna keep falling apart it's not gonna like miraculously recover no like my car just hit 120 000 miles and it's like it's not getting any better you got all that right and then i've heard they're like oh yeah with those cars sometimes the transmissions start acting up and i'm like so you're gonna spend all this money repairing this and then

the transmission goes and that's another i'm like yeah no i'm i good. I do not mess with transmission stuff because when I was in college, I had a Honda. Oh, boy. A Honda something. Honda Accord. I don't think it was an Accord. It was something. But I had a Honda. It's been so long I forgot.

It was a little dark green number. It was very nice. But that car's transmission broke all the time. And I'd always get it repaired. I'd always spend a bunch of money doing it. And like into credit card debt issues. Even my parents helped repair it. And the transmission would keep breaking.

Now I'm like, transmission breaks once. I'm like, nah, this car's for the streets. Just trash it. I don't want it. Like I'm so, transmission breaks once. I'm like, nah, this car's for the streets. Just trash it. I don't want it. Like, I'm so broken by the experience. I don't trust anyone that says, yeah, we'll fix your transmission. Because the options either replace it completely or fix it and know that eventually it's going to break again. Yeah.

No, especially, yeah. And transmissions are expensive to fix. So expensive. Yeah. So when I was looking into it, they were like, oh, yeah, Toyota's got some of the best transmissions. I was like, there it is. I'll take it.

I will say, after my Honda died, I had, when I was in grad school, I had my parents, bless their sweet souls, that's when they got their new car that is now their 2002 car. But they gave me their old RAV4, and that Toyota RAV4, that lasted forever. I had that thing from whenever the hell they gave it to me until 2017 when I bought my car. Oh, yeah, that's right. I remember you drove around in that.

Yeah, and the RAV4 worked. Like, that damn thing, that thing worked. There was no – I never had an issue. The only issue I ever had with it is it had a back tire, and one time I took it through one of those auto washes, and the auto wash pulled off the back tire. And I did not realize it until I got home, and I was like, where the hell is the tire in the back?

Damn thing pulled it off. Did you go back? They they're like here's your tire yes they're like here's your tire and and it wouldn't like it had one of those cage lock things and that was just gone it ripped the whole thing off i was like oh well i guess i'm never using auto washes again yeah that's i don't know I mean I think they're okay although yeah I've heard it's like they can be bad for your car but whatever I mean I guess it depends if you have a giant tire on the back of your car yeah that's also true uh that's more like a SUV isn't that like jeep doesn't jeep have a lot of tires on the back? It's like Jeep. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's sort of like, I mean, a RAV4 was trying to be a Jeep, I think. Yeah. And same vibe. They just put a tire on the back. Eventually, I noticed that the newer models that weren't from the early 2000s, they actually fixed that issue where it wasn't just a tire strapped to the back

of a car. It looked like it actually had a cage and like a case that it was in. But that wasn't just a tire strapped to the back of a car. It looked like it actually had a cage, like a case that it was in. But that wasn't my car. Yeah. So it's, you know, even though it is stressful being like, all right, here goes more money. It's like, hey, you know what? It'll be more reliable and you get a fun new car to drive around.

That's neat. Yeah. And you know what? I can't wait to be driven around in it by you. Yeah. It'll be great. This July when I'm in Chicago on the 13th. Yes.

Only a little over a month away. I'm very excited. Hey, everyone. Hi. Reminder. We have exactly 12 tickets left, and I would love if they sold. 12 tickets. 12 whole tickets.

I want to get there, and want it to say sold out. Yeah, even if you're coming already, find some friend that doesn't know anything. Be like, come with me. Bring those suckers. Yeah, yeah. I mean, good friends. What?

And you'll be like, yeah, just go. You just need 12 of them. You can find 12 people. Go to work. If you own a business, force your employees to come. Yeah, force them. All pay raises are dependent on coming to the show. Even if they have a terrible time.

Oh, especially if they have a terrible time. Yeah. The more angry they get at us, the better. Yeah, if they go and they hate it, they'll be like, God, remember that time we went to that terrible show? And they'd be like, yeah, it was really fun. That was the worst time I ever had. I loved it. Yeah.

So, yeah, buy those tickets. If you're just a rich person, you can just buy them up anyway. You know, you don't even have to go. Just buy them. Yeah, if you're like a Saudi prince, you don't have to come. You don't need to. But if you buy the tickets, we'd be grateful. Yeah.

And then, you know, if I drive you around, I'll be like, look, my backup came. And then I'll back up and then I'll hit yellow. Oh, I'll be like, that's a good camera, dude. And then a guy with a stogie will come out and be like, hey, you hit my car. You hit my car. I'll be like, dude, this is some weird time loop. Then we'll both wake up.. Then we'll both wake up. And then we'll both wake up.

Which, by the way, actually, I don't really watch anime, but I've been watching a good anime called Summertime Rendering. That's pretty good. Oh, boy, now I've got to look it up. Summertime Rendering? Yeah, it's only like 24 or 5 episodes. Oh, it's a thriller yeah

I love the thriller mystery type things it's pretty crazy it's kind of like Parasite where the aliens came down and then there's a little Migi hand guy it's kind of like that interesting and I'm picky with anime

as you probably know I am aware of that. I'm aware of your pickiness. Yeah, so check that one out. It's pretty good. What sparked this? Toaster Woman watched it, and she was like, you'd probably really like this. And I was like, all right.

And then I watched it, and I'm like, I like this. Okay. I mean, of all the answers, that's the best one you could give. Yeah, that was it. We took a break from our sailor moon watching to watch this apparently there is a watanabe made anime that i really i don't the problem is i always forget the name of it because it's one of those things where i'm just like ah it's called lazarus i am so so excited. So it kind of, um,

so, you know, Watanabe's the dude behind some of my actual favorite anime, because I don't watch a lot, but it's the ones that I love, like Samurai Champloo, and Space Dandy, and Cowboy Bebop, which are the all, like, I love them. I love Space Dandy

too. If, Crandor, if you haven't seen Space Dandy, I love it. I have not seen it. Also, apparently he did Vision of Escaflowne, which was a show I watched as a kid, which is pretty amazing. I didn't know that until I just looked at this. Anyway, Lazarus is

basically the premise. I guess it's not out yet. I don't know. It's 13 episodes. But it's the year 2052, and Dr. Skinner has discovered a miracle drug. And this drug cures everything. It's like the cure-all of all drugs. But then three years later, the dude announces that the drug is actually going to kill everyone who took it within three years. Oh. Maybe something along the lines of like when you took

it you have three years and everyone's about to die soon is what he said. I see. Okay. And so a task force of five agents is assembled to locate the doctor, find the vaccine and save everyone and the show's called Lazarus and it's one of those things where it's like did he actually poison

everyone? Or did he actually poison everyone? Or did he just say that to cause society to collapse? Or like it's like one of those mysteries and I love that kind of stuff. Yeah, that's what I like. That's pretty much what this show is too. Yeah, I'm excited about that but I don't know

anything about it. I guess they said the project is planned to be completed in 2024. Oh, okay. So we got a little bit to go, but that's the next one I'm excited for. Is it called Lazarus or Project Lazarus? I see Lazarus on here. Oh.

Lazarus anime. Yeah. That one looks really cool. I think I saw a trailer for it a little bit ago, so at least there's a trailer. That seemed pretty neat. Yeah, there you go. I see it. Yeah, that's pretty good.

I'll watch it. Yeah, it's directed by one of my favorites, possibly the only director I know who makes anime. I'm sure there are others, but for some reason, this dude, I love all of his stuff, so we'll see. Well, did you have anything else that happened? No, I got nothing. No.

All right. Except for the fact that I spent time this week looking up Garfield on Etsy to find you something to buy, but I didn't find it. I didn't know what you would want, so I gave up. Dude, I will say, I am going to go see the Garfield movie next week. We need a report. I need, you're the biggest Garf fiend I've ever seen in my entire life. I need a report. I need... You're the biggest Garf fiend I've ever seen on my timeline.

I love me some Garfield, but I do know that it's reportedly bad. Sure. It's got a 5.9 out of 10 on IMDB, 36% Rotten Tomatoes, 31% Metacritic, 91% on Google, though. percent on Google though which is probably just a meme thing but I'm I'm genuinely curious to see how good bad like fun bad bad bad this movie is so I will report I'm excited because if anyone's gonna give me the real truth on the Garfield movie I feel like it's gonna be you yes no I'll give you the real truth nothing but the truth also I'm you. Yes. No, I'll give you the real truth. Nothing but the truth. Also, I'm going to need the plot.

Oh, yeah. I'll go into full detail next week about the plot. Good, good, good. It might be the Garfield episode. Yeah. How Chris Pratt is as Garfield. I mean, now he's been Mario. He's been Garfield.

He's been everybody. It's got Samuel L. Jackson and Snoop Dogg in it. So that's something. Who do you think plays normal? I hope it's Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg is apparently Snoop Cat. Oh, that's, I mean, that's cool. Yeah.

Someone was like, what if instead of making him a dog, we make him a cat? And everyone was like, oh, good idea, sir. Oh, my. It's funny because Snoop Dogg is his name. Yes, yes, yes. Hilarious. I don't see a Nermal on this list.

I see Otto, John, Jinx, Snoop Cat, Vic, Roland, Odie, Marge, list i see otto john jinx snoop kat vick roland odie marge odie number one nolan and olivia oh this probably this would this is supposed to be the origin story right so probably there would be no normal because normal was a little bit yeah i think so um that's for the sequel. Yeah, that's the sequel. That will definitely get made. 100%. Yeah, this is... You know, even looking through the books, John is pretty weird.

He's genuinely a weird guy. Yeah, have you seen Garfield without Garfield oh yeah i think i i remember people telling me about that i've seen i've seen him a lot if you read it and there is no garfield john you're just like yeah no this checks out though him just talking to himself it everything about it still makes sense and you're just like wow no yeah no he's he's having problems uh so yeah i'm genuinely curious you know and at worst i'll get to eat some popcorn so that's good i mean an excuse to eat popcorn's always it's a good day yeah it's always a good day but not that like crappy popcorn but like theater popcorn yeah it's the theater popcorn you can tell the difference you really can and i

it's unfair i'll be honest i want theater popcorn at home but if's the theater popcorn. You can tell the difference. You really can, and it's unfair. I'll be honest. I want theater popcorn at home, but if you try to buy anything that says like theater popcorn, it tastes like butt. Yes, it does. Butt corn. The old butt corn. I don't like that. Yeah.

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active. Once again, that's factor meals.com slash Cox 50 code C O X five, zero. Oh my goodness. The traffic is getting insane. There's so many cars. There's so many boats, planes,

trains, uh, cicadas. I mean, the cicadas have taken over everything. They're on the roads. They're driving cars. They're getting kind of angry. Uh, they are cutting people off in traffic. Uh, they're

hitting people in the head. Uh, they're coming out of the ground. It's just very rude, but, you know, you gotta deal with them. They're also very loud. Thank you. Is that a thing you're actually dealing with? Uh, close by. There's a lot of people.

Like, my family more south of me has, like, a bunch of cicada stuff. There's, like, different areas that have crazy cicadas. Luckily, by me, I haven't seen too many. There's, like, some, but it's, like, normal amounts of cicadas. That's, uh, I've been watching videos, thankfully, at least here. When I used to live in the Midwest, I would see cicadas that's i've been watching videos thankfully at least here uh when i used to live in the midwest i would see cicadas but on the west coast only earthquakes only earth is trying to kill me not insects and so it's wild because i'm seeing videos of people like there was this girl who made a i think it was a viral tiktok where she's like i can't go outside and then it cuts to like a swarm of cicadas

on her front lawn and i was like yo no thank you yeah that's some people got crazy then their dogs and stuff are eating the cicadas like it's getting uh it's got a little wacky wild out there but luckily it's not too bad here. I'm impressed with everyone who's sort of making it through it because it isn't just one. It's two waves. I'm not sure what you would call that. Two invasions.

Two invasions, yep. Yep, the 17 year and the other year. 13 maybe? I don't know, something like that. Yeah. Good luck to everyone out there. Stay safe. Don't get caught up in it. Yeah.

That's the traffic. All right. Let's go to sports. Wait. Weather is what's next. This guy's skipping around. Let's see. I'll do the old hold down the weather thing. All right.

And bam. Can I get a weather report on my hometown Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam to increase the weather report tally, please? Wait, yes. Wait, the weather report tally. Have we done this one already? Or is he saying just for the. I think he wants the total weather report tally. Have we done this one already? Or is he saying just for the... I think he wants the total weather report tally. Oh, okay.

Maybe he's trying to get like a waning gibbous. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Either way, that's where we're going. All right. Ho Chi Minh City. What? Does Ho Chi Minh City have the Avengers Tower in it?

I don't know. I'm looking at the photo. I didn't know this. It looks like the Avengers Tower to me? I don't know. I'm looking at the photo. I didn't know this. It looks like the Avengers Tower to me. All right. Ho Chi Minh City, 88 degrees Fahrenheit. It's, wait, where's the, oh, here it is. Feels like 104.

Oh, my goodness. Woo. Woo. High, 95. Low, 82. Humidity, a 78 percentiles. Pressure, 29.98 inches. Six-mile visibility.

Eight-mile-an-hour winds. Dewpoint, 80. UV index, 10 of 11. Moon phase waning crescent with a 529 a.m. sunrise and a 613 p.m. sunset. Looking at the old 10-day. 10-day, 10- day, 10 day, 10 day. We've got ourselves a beep, beep, beep. 95 degrees, sunny Sunday, but developing thunderstorms in the afternoon.

Chance of rain 40%. Monday, PM thunderstorms, 97 degrees. Tuesday, PM thunderstorms, 96 degrees. Wednesday, 93 with scattered thunderstorms. Thursday, 92. Friday, 94. Saturday, 94. Sunday, 91.

It's just, it's a lot of 90 degrees with thunderstorms is what it is. Is it the rainy season, I imagine? It looks like it, judging by the amount of rain. I like it. Judging by the amount of rain. I'm mesmerized by this city because the places I find are either five stars, two reviews, or 3.9 stars, 80 billion reviews. There's so many places.

This is five stars, 18 reviews, five stars, 17 reviews, five stars, eight reviews, five stars, 50 reviews. There's so many places. This is 5 stars, 18 reviews, 5 stars, 17 reviews, 5 stars, 8 reviews, 5 stars, 50 reviews. It's all coffee too. Oh yeah, a lot of Korea. What the? This place is Bros Korea. 33,000 reviews, 5 stars. Like what?

Bros Korea? Yeah, Bros Korea. And it straight up got 33 000 reviews five stars that's what i'm saying this one five stars 170 reviews like i'm blown i'm blown i don't know what this means are we getting punked right now yeah i don't know this is five stars 15 reviews i've never seen a place with so many five-star restaurants. Yeah, this is insane. Are we getting bodied? What's happening here?

But at the same time, 4.2, 3,000. But then right next to it, five stars, nine reviews. What's five stars, 30 reviews? But this one, 4.3, and it has 5,000 reviews. Oh, yeah.3, and it has 5,000 reviews. Oh, yeah. I see another one. The Bon Con Quat. Yep.

4.3, 1,900 reviews. This one, five stars, two reviews. Right next to it, five stars, three reviews. Right next to that, five stars, three reviews. Dude, are we being punked right? What's happening? Pizza 4P's Vauve and Kiet, 4.9, 5,500 reviews. Now that's trustworthy. I trust that.

Just because it's a 4.9? No, just because it's 4.9 with a lot of reviews. Yeah, but there's like so many reviews. That's like all those people said five stars for the most part. Like it's crazy. Five stars, 25. Five stars, 25. Five stars, one. Is there like a program where they give us five stars?

One time I got a tie in L.A. And the guy was like, hey, man, I'll give you 50% off that tie if you give me five stars. And I was like, yeah, okay. There might be. I've seen those as well. They could be doing that. Yeah, five stars, 28. This is literally just a chicken restaurant.

I went down to Boss Restaurant and KTV. 4.0, 576 reviews, karaoke bar. Okay, this one's not as good. 4.0, that's practically like a one. But like five stars, one review. Five stars, 13 reviews. Five stars, two reviews. Five stars, six That's practically like a 1. But like 5 stars 1 review. 5 stars 13 reviews. 5 stars 2 reviews. 5 stars 6 reviews. 5 stars 4. Like everywhere

I'm clicking is 5 stars 3 reviews. Yeah. 5 stars 9 reviews. This. Is there a 10 star system just specifically in Vietnam? What is happening? I've never seen this before. This has to be rigged. It's got to be rigged i

i don't believe anything this is there's although i will say the city is packed it seems like there's so many restaurants in one block oh yeah there's a bunch of people here there's so many restaurants in fact some might say there's about nine million people there 10 million uh that's a lot yeah this is pretty interesting there's a lot of uh i'm looking at the different bon me places and like man what's the what's the what's the vietnam vibe like would jesse cox going to vietnam be cool or like white guy pathetic? You know, like single white dude in Asia pathetic. You know what I mean?

I'm not saying it's pathetic, but like we know the stereotype. You know what I mean? Like, I'm here to find my wife. Like that kind of vibe. I don't want that to be the Jesse Cox experience. Yeah. You just want to go to see if the places really are five stars. Yeah, I just want to go to all these five star places. Yeah. You just want to go to see if the places really are five stars. Yeah, I just want to go to

all these five star places. Yeah. I'm not there for some weird sort of like wife tourism. I'm there for the food tourism to judge you. Can I do that? Yeah.

That's all he wants. That's all I want? I want to do it for another weird reason. Yeah. Some of these places I'm just like there's no way this is five stars. That's what I'm saying. Some of these seem honest. Like this

one has four stars and twelve reviews. I'm like okay. That I buy. That seems more real. Yeah. Some of them it's like alright. Yeah that sounds about right. Like I would trust those more than the perfect ones. This is. Yeah. I don't. I just don't, I just don't have answers. This is, it's a place. It's tripping me out everywhere I look.

Here's the thing, though. I think it's, there's so many restaurants that if you're too far out, it gives you the best ones rather than the real ones and people can cheese it yeah that's because if you go down to the block level i'm looking at one block that has 12 restaurants on it and two coffee places and they're like 4.7 uh 3.5 4.5 3.9 all right so these are actually i feel like we're getting cheated by being too far out on the map. Yeah. Yeah, that's possible. However.

Which is insane, but you know. I found a place called Hin Coffee. It's got a 4.9, 2,500 reviews, but I go down, and there's a person that gave it four stars and said, if you want to take photos, good place ever, not for coffee itself and then i think they're right because it's just a bunch of people like taking instagram pictures

there and then someone else gave it three stars and just said nice inside relaxed atmosphere reasonably clean can be cramped depending on amount of people people coffee drinks counter very small cramped i mean that, that sounds correct. Yeah. I found a place that's less of a coffee shop and more of a coffee stand out on the street, and I thought it was Fatus Coffee, but

the comment says, pronounced Fat-ass. And I'm like, is this Fat-ass Coffee? Fat-ass Coffee. What would a fat ass coffee? I mean, it's an interesting vibe. A lot of these restaurants are straight up just like holes in the wall. Yeah.

So I would love to know what is the good hole in the wall versus like, you know, sometimes you're going to get like, that's the spot. Yeah. And sometimes you're going to get like, that's the spot. Yeah. And sometimes you'll get food poisoning there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so you don't know. I mean, I guess it depends on the part of the city, but I don't know. I don't know a damn thing about Ho Chi Minh City at all. Yeah.

Well, that's the weather. All right. Let's go to sports sports oh boy we've got sports and we've got sports so currently sports uh the uh basketball we've got the nba finals and it is the uh boston celtics taking on the Dallas Mavericks in the finals. Meanwhile, in the NHL, we've got the Florida Panthers going on to the Stanley Cup. And currently Edmonton's up 3-2 on the Dallas Stars. And they will take on Florida, whoever wins that series between the Stars and the Oilers. And then over in baseball, we got the Yankees in first. The Cleveland Guardians in first. the Seattle Mariners in first, the Phillies in first, the Brewers in first, and the Dodgers all in first.

And sports. Okay. And sports. All right. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. Fact of the day. Fact of the day.

The day. Here's a fun fact. I'll be the judge of that. You can actually die laughing. I've definitely felt it sometimes especially on this show so i would love to know what puts you over the edge because i've almost been there or i could not breathe so this is possible this says and a number of people have typically due to intense laughter causing a heart attack or suffocation okay suff. Suffocation, I get. I've been there.

Yeah. And that links to this article. It says, yes, it is possible to die from laughing, but don't let this stop you enjoying your favorite sitcom. There are just a handful of reported cases usually due to intense laughter causing a heart attack or suffocation. People have also been known to faint from laughing, which can lead to injuries, and some narcolepsy sufferers report

temporary losses of consciousness triggered by laughter or other stronger emotions. There are some very rare fatal brain conditions that can cause uncontrollable laughter. So, like some sort of joker poisoning is what I'm hearing. Yeah, joker poisoning. Yeah, you get joker poisoned.

Right. Yeah, joker poison. Well, I mean, okay. Again, I've certainly felt it before where I've laughed so hard that my head went light. Yeah, I've had, you know, you laugh so much that happens or you just can't breathe, like you said. I don't know. I could see it. A little too crazy and then you're like, you never know.

I mean, I don't know why they said sitcoms. I've never laughed that hard at a sitcom. Yeah. I don't know. I've never been a thing where I've been like, never. It's never happened. That's funny. I had the exact same thing where they said sitcom.

I was like, sitcoms. Okay. Yeah. Like, there's funny. And there's been sitcoms that are funny but not like it almost killed me funny yeah more like a that's a good joke

great joke that's your fact of the day alright what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day we got more monkey news This is what I'm here for Okay

Thai Town launches plan to lock up Marauding monkeys and send them away Oh no they're going to deport the monkeys They're going to deport the monkeys I feel like some other town I feel like some other town was doing this as well Maybe it was a similar town We also know that in Japan they had

ladies with guns shooting monkeys. Yeah. A Thai town run ragged by its ever-growing population of marauding wild monkeys launched an offensive against the Simian Raiders on Friday using trickery and ripe tropical fruit. The Simian Raiders

sounds like a football team. It does. Several high profile cases of monkey human conflict recently convinced authorities Planet of the Apes style! That they had to reduce the animals numbers. If all goes well

most will end up behind bars before starting new life elsewhere. Where are they going to put the monkey? In prison? In monkey prison? That's what they say. Dude, I swear one other town, I don't know if it's Thailand, but we did a story. It was like similar to this. I think the monkeys are just taking over. Is it like the killer

whales? Are animals finally tired of our shit? I mean, I get it. I get it. The first stage of the plan instituted Fridays to bait cages with the animals' favorite food, then wait for hunger to get the better of their natural caution. There was early success for the catchers on the one street, with three of the monkeys falling for the roost and ending up trapped

because they had fancied a taste of rambutan fruit. The cages had been placed on the street earlier in the week, so the monkeys got used to them and found them less threatening. There are thought to be 2,500 monkeys around the town. The effort will go on for five days this month and is likely to be repeated. Some of the monkeys will be left free to maintain Lotbury's image as Thailand's monkey town.

I think maybe we did a story about this, but they hadn't started capturing them yet, and now they're capturing them. With monkeys monkeys intelligence. If some of them go into the cage and are caught, others outside won't enter to get the food because they've learned what happened to their friends. Damn, dude.

The roaming monkeys have been long a symbol of the town. North of Bangkok and are a major tourist draw. They become increasingly aggressive, however, with several videos of them snatching food from residents and causing injuries. One auto parts shop now trades... Wait, now trades

from behind wire? Oh, wait, what do the monkeys need with auto parts? I don't know. Of all the things. Yeah, why are they going after the mechanics? I mean, like a grocery store or a fruit stand or whatever, but auto parts? Yeah, I don't know.

They're just like, no, can't let the monkeys near here. I mean, I get it. That's why AutoZone is so heavily fortified. Yeah. No, it's... Pep Boys. It's like Pep Boys, not Pep Monkeys, dude. Yeah, those monkeys will go there.

The owners erected it at the time of the coronavirus pandemic, but keeping out the light-fingered primates was also a prime concern. They say they've adapted to the monkey problem, but not everyone has. Quote, When there are a lot of monkeys around, customers are afraid of buying the goods at our shop. Only our regulars aren't frightened. The town mayor, Cameron Salachip, agrees that the monkeys, while bringing in visitors, have also become bad for trade, with shops and malls seeing

a drop in income and even people's homes damaged. Lotbury, he said, is almost an abandoned town. After our operation's over, I'll do a big cleaning across the town and paint all the buildings to regain the faith of the people. These may seem like grim times for monkeys in Lottbury, but there's a plan to give them a fresh start. Sure there is. On Friday, authorities began sedating them to carry out health checks before cleaning and sterilizing them and inking them with tattoos so they can be identified to keep accurate records.

They're tattooing monkeys? They're tattooing monkeys. So wait, they're spending money to tattoo monkeys and to imprison monkeys and to repaint a town that is known for monkeys. Yeah. And everyone is just fine with it. Yeah. Okay. and everyone's just fine with it. Yeah. After that, they'll transfer them to a series of huge holding pens just outside the

town center while looking for a permanent home. Monkey deportation. Yep. Who knew it would get so bad? Yeah, who knew? The monkeys. They planned it, of course. Oh, 100%. They knew. Those monkeys. Just like Planet of of course. Oh, 100%. They knew.

Those monkeys. Just like Planet of the Apes. You're right. Yeah, they're too smart now. Yeah, they're too smart. Now they're not falling for the traps either? Damn, dude. Yeah. First, they don't fall for the traps.

Next, they take over the world. That's it? Yeah, then we're done. Yeah, it's over. Then we're replaced by ape. Yep, we're replaced by by ape yep we're worried about ai we should be worried about ape eye yeah don't die from laughter that's how you end a podcast right there yeah don't die from laughter there it's i know you might yeah that's just wrap it up all right well that's it

for us thanks much for listening watching I've enjoyed this podcast Crandor hit up the socials we got socials youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast that's where you can find these on YouTube they're also on Spotify iTunes SoundCloud just search Cox and Crandor you'll find it also we're there yeah the animations over on youtube.com such Cox and Crandor. You'll find it. Also, we're there. The animations

over on YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor. Also, we got our own stuff. Twitch TV Crendor. Twitch TV Jesse Cox. YouTube Crendor. YouTube Jesse Cox. Facebook Crendor. Facebook Jesse Cox. TikTok Crendor. TikTok Jesse Cox. TikTok. TikTok. Instagram Notorious Cox. Instagram Crendor was taken.

Patreon Jesse Cox. Patreon Crendor. YouTube Warhammer Crendor. If you like Warhammer. Cox clips. Crendor was taken Patreon, Jess Cox, Patreon, Crendor YouTube, Warhammer, Crendor If you like Warhammer Cox Clips, Crend Clips That's it Alright, that's it for us, we'll see you all next time And as always To be continued.