Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 446 - Hashtag Not My League of Legends

Episode Date: December 1, 2024

The boys are back and this time the boys regale each other with their thanksgiving adventures. At the same time Jesse's life seems to be MORE INSANE somehow?! Speaking of insane, Crendor has some hot takes on the show Arcane that are crazy. Also we learn about lemons, limes, and why we don't get news from Cosmo anymore. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://factormeals.com/cox50 and use code cox50 to get 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month. Go to https://go.privacyhawk.com/cox-n-crendor to download the app and use code COX20OFF (lowercase for Google Play) for a special price on the PrivacyHawk Platinum Subscription.

Today's episode is brought to you by Factor. Factor's got those good meals coming straight to your home. Also today we're brought to you by Privacy Hawk. Protect yourself online with Privacy Hawk. Now let's jump into this podcast. We have jumped into the exciting episode yeah yeah we have landed in the excitement can you feel it I mean I feel something mild annoyance maybe yeah I don't know if it's excitement that might be it yeah let it build build got to see where it goes follow that where does what's gonna lead you yeah Excitement that might be it yelling it build

Got a little goes follow that we're just gonna lead you yeah, where's it going uh? somewhere It sure is how you doing good good. How was your Thanksgiving? It was pretty good. We we cooked so with the turkey came out on time last two years It was a little late, but this year we were like, all right, make sure it's thawed. Make sure we get it in the oven. In fact, it came out a little early. Did the old let it sit, wrapped in foil after it was done,

cooked everything else. It was probably our best timed Thanksgiving in terms of getting everything out. That's great. It's a weird way to judge Thanksgiving, but I'm happy for you that it all came out on time. Well I think people underestimate the timing of everything because like you need to get everything out on time because like if something's like late

and you're eating that thing's not even gonna get eaten right or if you finish something too early it's like what do I do I want to serve it when it's hot so they either got to wait around for it to like, you got to reheat it or you just got to, you know, it's like, everything's got to come out like perfectly timed or you, uh, you got to reheat everything all at once. So that's why you cook some of it the day before. And then you start the things early where you're like the turkeys going to take like two hours.

So you like put that in and then, uh, you know, I do like asparagus last. That takes like 10 minutes, stuff like that. So it was, uh, it was good. Got it all tied. That's a, you know I do like asparagus last that takes like 10 minutes stuff like that so it was good got it all time that's you know what I'm happy for you my Thanksgiving was time to accept that we went to a restaurant so mm-hmm they brought it all to us I was in a timely fashion was great it was delicious Thanksgiving meal my parents were like yo Thanksgiving at noon at this restaurant. I was like, great. Thanksgiving was over for me by two.

I went and I streamed, I did the whole thing. Wow. It was a fine day. What did your parents think of it? They loved it. My mom got a breakfast scramble. She didn't even have Thanksgiving food. Oh.

She was like, I'm gonna have scrambled eggs and toast. I was like, okay, live your life, mom. This is straight up like, yeah, I don't want Thanksgiving food. Yeah, my dad and I got turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy and vegetables. I think it was vegetables. I don't remember what vegetables. Maybe it was carrots and stuff.

Pumpkin pie, like a starter. got like my dad had like a lobster bisque or something. I just got a salad. They gave me a full salad Cranador not like one of those baby crap salads like a full ass salad I couldn't believe it. Damn. The full ass salad. Yeah the full they gave me the full ass salad. It was great. It's uh was it like a fancy place or just like a normal place? No, it was straight up one of the many restaurants down towards the beach here in LA. Huh. And it was just like a lovely restaurant. It was you know Thursday afternoon. We literally rolled in at noon. So basically it was lunch

brunch still. And it was pretty good And there was a bunch of other people there eating turkey and we just sat down and yeah the turkey was delicious. It was great. And then we got up and we left and I took my parents home and then I went and streamed. Solid Thanksgiving. One of my better ones, I'll be honest. I mean that does sound like a solid Thanksgiving. It was great. Yeah, got to see the parents

and then got to go do stuff I liked to win. Great, you know, I'm thankful for that. How about all your other stuff? Because I know you had apartment issues. Oh my God, I did. So, but, oh God, everything's just, dude, what a, it's all minor things, and the grand scheme of things is all first world problems, but it's also just like,

the most ridiculous stuff, things that shouldn't be an issue, right, you'd think if we're gonna first world problem it, it should be things that a first world can handle, you know what I mean? So, when it comes to the apartment, well I'll complain about this, I have been wanting to move for some time. My apartment, it keeps getting worse and worse and worse.

I do not like it there. The quality has declined and the prices keep going up. Right? I've said this before on this podcast. Well, I went and I found a place that I really, really enjoy. I think it's a very nice apartment area and so I

Was like I guess I'll go and check it out and see what's up So I went there looked at it. It was very nice I don't know if I mentioned it on this podcast, but I feel like I've told everyone so I'm just gonna say it again I found a place that I really like, but comically it has a terrible view. Like one of the worst views I've ever seen in my entire life. But the apartment is very cheap because the view is so bad.

But it's in a very nice complex. And within, I'm gonna say, 100 feet, something ridiculous of a Whole Foods, a bunch of restaurants, like a coffee place, a bunch of like activity things, like it's just walking distance of a bunch of stuff. And I was like, maybe it's worth it. And the guy was like, well, you know, this unit,

we'll give it to you cheap because because no one wants to rent it, and it's because the view sucks. I was like, well, let me see this place, I gotta see it. So I go up, they open the windows, the windows look directly onto the roof of the Whole Foods. There are giant solar panels, air conditioning, like it just looks directly, there is no view, it is directly onto the roof of a Whole Foods.

And it's like one of those hotel views where you check the view and it's just like, oh boy. It's terrible, terrible view. Like one, clearly no one is going to buy this to look out their windows. But I thought to myself, well I'm never going to open my bedroom windows, right, unless I'm going to get some like real kinky role play stuff. And the room that I would set up the, cause it has like a den, right? The room, that room I would use to set up stuff for home. So I could record from home,

which means I would black out the windows anyway, and I'd put up foam around so it didn't echo, right? So like that wouldn't matter. You're never gonna look at it. Yeah, and the room that's in the living room, the window that's in the living room, I'm gonna keep that closed most of the time anyway because if I'm watching TV or whatever,

I don't wanna get the sun in the TV because I couldn't see anything. So only very rarely am I gonna open that window and step outside onto the porch and be like, yeah, love me this view. Like very rarely is that happening. Yeah. And I was like, it might love me this view. Like very rarely is that happening. Yeah. And I was like, it might be worth the deal.

So the guy was like, well, you know, you can submit an application. It doesn't mean that you have to buy it. We'll just hold it for you. And you can think about it. I was like, all right. So I submitted the application. I go home, I'm talking to my parents.

I'm thinking like, man, I really want to do this. I think I should pull the trigger. This could be, this could be a good move for me. And as the night goes on, I'm just sitting there alone in my apartment. I start getting like, but man, I love this apartment. It's so good. Like this apartment, it's a really good apartment.

And this was Tuesday night, right? So I was like, oh man, this could be good. This, I don't know. Do I want to move? Oh man. As I'm having this mental conversation, power goes out my entire apartment complex. And I'm like, huh, well that's not good because my phone's at 10% battery and I can't charge it now. So I assume it's going to, the power's going to come back on. So I'm like, all right, well, I guess I'm going to bed. And it was, I don't know, 9 30 PM, right?

And I was like, well, I can't do anything. And I can't leave because if the power's out, the garage door's not opening this apartment complex. So I can't do anything. Plus the elevators wouldn't be working and the locks to the doors wouldn't like the stairs wouldn't be working. So I'm trapped in my apartment as long as we're blacked out. I'm like, okay, cool. By the way, if you're wondering at home, that doesn't seem very safe. It never is. And it's been a problem I have this place

forever. But anyway, I was like, all right, well, you know what? I'm gonna go to bed. I'll put my phone by my bed. When I wake up, I'll plug it in, you know, because I just assumed I'd wake up in the middle of the night. I'm like, if I wake up in the middle of the night, I'll plug it in, or if I wake up in the morning, I'll plug it in and charge it while I take a shower. So, go to bed. I wake up, it's pitch black, and I go to look at my phone to see what time it is, my phone's dead.

I'm like, well I have no idea what time it is, the power's still not back on, I have no idea what time it is the power's still not back on I don't know what's going on everything in the neighborhood is dark I look out the window I see nothing it's pitch black I'm like what the hell so go back to bed I wake up and it's light and I say to myself okay surely the power's back on now nope my phone's still dead everything is off I took the coldest, grossest shower I've ever taken. I was shivering. The water was freezing, Krendor. Freezing. The water wasn't even heated? No, the water was not heated. I was just like, oh my god, oh, like shaking in the shower. Doing that thing where I'm like, as I'm pouring, like cold water is pouring down on me, and I was like, as I'm pouring, like cold waters pouring down on me,

and it was like, oh no. So the whole day I felt off because I took a cold shower. I need a hot shower to start the day, or else I feel terrible. So, oh dude, I need a morning shower. I can take a shower at night, I can take a shower whenever, but I need that morning shower to get going, and a cold shower in the morning, I was freezing all day. Like my body temperature is off. I was a mess, dude. I was a mess.

I don't like morning showers, but if I had to take a morning shower, I would, I'd start maybe a little hot and then hit the cold and then get out. Oh no. I was, it was cold to start. It was cold to start. I sat in cold. To a certain point, right, I turned down the intensity of the shower. By the way, my shower sucks, but still turned it down so it's like a trickle, just so I could stand under a trickle of cold water, because it was less intense

than a pouring down cold water. So I go to the office, because I'm thinking, okay, if the power's out in the entire area, I need to get to the office before everyone else gets there so I can send them home if there's no power in the office. Right? Because I can't call anyone, my phone is dead.

I'm living like it's 1820, dude. I have no communication, I have to go to a place to communicate with people. So I'm like, okay. So when I go downstairs, someone has opened the garage door so it's opened, like they did it manually. And so I can at least leave. And for blocks and blocks and blocks going to the office, all the power's still out.

For some reason, I guess the office is on a different grid, because it's on a different part of the city, I don't know. Perfectly fine. So I get into the office, look at the clock, it's 7.07 a.m., I'm like, come on! Are you kidding me? I feel like I've been up for like four hours. I got up when the Sun was up anyway I Go about do my day. Everything's fine the entire time. I'm thinking like man

God I'm moving I gotta move that I can't do this anymore like that sucked that was so dumb Wednesday I Wake up go to go to the office no I'm sorry not Wednesday Friday because it was during geekenders go to go to the office and the garage door is broken I can't leave the apartment in fact no one can leave the apartment our cars are trapped in the parking garage because someone broke the garage door. Did someone break it already? Yes!

Before, dude! It happens with the Frequency! Again, let me remind everyone, when I went to the cops because people were stealing my mail, the cop literally was like, yeah, it happens a lot there. My apartment complex has gone to shit. It used to be amazing. And it has only gotten terrible. And the reason why, truthfully, is that the ownership

for the last several years has been passed around between those companies that just buy stuff, like investment companies, and then what they do is they buy stuff, fire staff, jack up the price and everything, and then resell it to someone else who's an idiot, and then they do the same thing. So it's just, it's of like when you look at at

fast food places you're like I remember Burger King being good same thing it's I'm living in the Burger King of apartment complexes right now you really are in the Burger King and it it's terrible so I I couldn't get out so I had to do the podcast from home you don't even get one of those paper crowns. I know dude. So anyway. They just go around your apartment hanging them out. After after. Please stay. Yeah after after that I was like I messaged the new apartment complex I'm 100% moving in let's make this happen. So that's I'm definitely moving at the end of this month I'm like I'm over it I can end of this month. I'm like, I'm over it. I can't do this anymore. When's your last day?

So the apartment, this is hilarious, the apartment opens December 17th. That is the day that I leave to go to Chicago. So I literally, when I get back, I can start moving, but I have access to it before I leave. Well, that's good. Yeah. So, and that's fine. So it's good, because I don't have a few days to move and I don't have to be out of my current apartment till the end of the month.

Yeah, that's good. That is nice, you don't have to rush. But, you know, I hate it. And then, to make things even more ridiculous, so today, I went and spent a lovely day with our Deer Freets... Freet? Our Freet friend, Kristen, we went and we like hung out at that crazy mall that you and I went to. Oh yeah, yep, the Cannavy-R mall. Yeah, it was just like let's go like walk around and munch on stuff and be stupid. So we did that, but when I went to go leave

and pay for parking, I went to go use my card. Now, I'm sure all of you remember the tale of when my bank account had to switch and it screwed up everything. Well, I had not received my card or my checks yet. So I called them and said, hey y'all, it's weird you haven't sent that to me, I need that. And so the guy that I talked to was like, sir, I will send it to you right away. I'm so sorry. Everyone else has let you down. I got you. So a day later, the card

showed up. I was like, Oh, thank God. Like that dude nailed it. Very pleased. So I go to use that card. I haven't used it at all. I go to use that card today to pay for parking. And when I go to do that, it says declined. I'm like, interesting. So on my way back, I call the bank to be like, hey, the card's declined, it's not letting me use the card. What's up with that? Dude, these idiots linked the new card to my old account.

When I called, you know how when you call your bank it'll be like, your current account balance it'll tell you the account balance? It literally gave me my old account balance. And then when I went to go enter in the information, it's like, please enter your card information. Everything it said was linking back to my old account. I was like, do these idiots link my brand new card to my old? I was like, this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen my entire life. And they're like, well, there's nothing I'm going to do

now. The person you need to talk to went home for the day. But tomorrow, if you go to your bank, I was like, oh my God. So that's why I had to do first thing tomorrow is go to the bank to get them to give me a card Which again will take a few days a card that is related to my new account. No how Stupid is this I just I Don't know. I don't know if this is the kind of thing that makes old people Intolerant of everyday life, but I get it. I'm getting there.

I was like, you had one job to do and you guys screwed it up spectacularly. You made, they made me change my account November 13th. They made it happen. It is now the 1st of December and I still don't have what I need. It's a bank. Surely the bank would want me to use banking services. It makes no sense. I just don't. I have no words for how stupid it is and it's upset me tremendously. The fact that I have to plan my day, I was like, I got stuff to do tomorrow, but I guess first thing I'm going to the bank. And because the bank isn't one of those things

where it's like, will be open before you have to go to work. No, no, no, the bank opens at 10 a.m. So I can come to the office, start my day a little bit, then go to the bank. What a joke. I mean, you're on Crendor time, you go to the bank first. I mean, sure, but I'm not, I'm on Jesse time and I got shit to do.

That's your problem. And the bank, the worst part is if I go to the bank, I'm gonna see this very nice girl, she's very sweet, she helped me out before and she did her best, but clearly failed to deliver on the promise of everything she said would happen after I left the bank. Like it was one of those things where while I was there, everything she could do, she did. And then she said, we'll send you this stuff.

And it's very clear after I left, she just did not press send on that information. Yeah. Because I didn't get any of it. It just never happened. Yeah, that is... That's genuinely impressive. They may these might actually be the people running your apartment complex. Maybe dude and here's thing is I wouldn't normally go with a big national bank like this like my personal bank is a credit union right like but this is for the business and this is a business

bank and it's like my accountant was like yeah we should use them to I only did this because everyone else what this is this is my problem, Crandor. I keep letting other people convince me of shit, and I really should just stop listening to other human beings and become a hermit and live like Yoda. And then when people come to me for advice, I'll be like, when 900 years old you are, piss right off! Like, I just won't deal with people.

I get it now. I understand why the elderly are so angry all the time Like life just beats you down. You're like you can't be this dumb. You can't be this dumb yet people are You know it's very true There are a lot of dumb people out there too many man too many Yeah, it's You almost just have to expect it more than the other way around. And I should have. I really should have. Like this is, I'm learning this in production of

games too, like investing in games and stuff. I rely on people, even around the office, I rely on people and then I'm constantly let down. I'm like, I expected this to get done this way and it just wasn't and I don't understand why you didn't do it. The way that we had talked about, like, did I explain it wrong? Did you? And it's like, no, you just didn't care. That's why I never liked hiring anyone to do anything. Cause I'm always like, I'll just do it myself.

Cause I know I'm going to do it the right way. always like I'll just do it myself so I'm gonna do it the right way and if I don't I'm like damn that's on me. I mean right and it sucks because I feel like the person who let things get too far and now has to be a hard ass and it always is awkward like well we used to be buds but now I gotta be mean to you and I don't want it like that kind of thing it always seems awkward and weird when really I should have been that the entire time But I just expected people to be chill and like do their shit and it's obvious that most people are not that way and so I'm

Slowly morphing into bad boss Jesse Cox and it's upsetting me because I don't want to be that way, but Yeah, everything now. I'm like, I if it's not exactly how I want it, I'm just not tolerating it anymore. I'm like, I wanted it this way and you didn't do it this way. And now I'm mad at you. I mean, on the bright side, you. Got. Mail. I mean, there is the bright side, you got mail. I mean there's no bright side. I literally have a list of places I have to still contact because I can't pay them because I don't have a credit card that works.

Have you tried offering them old time bargaining? I did say, you know, I would easily prostitute myself for my phone bill. They weren't buying it though, it's strange. Oh boy. Now you've tried offering livestock. I have not tried offering livestock, but I figured prostitution has worked in the past. That's what I'm saying. Surely that's a valuable form of currency.

That's two out of the four old-timey currencies from like DC era. That's one of the oldest forms of payment. I thought for sure Adobe would be willing to accept a little sweet Jesse Lovin for the two Adobe accounts I have for the office, but clearly not. Yeah, no, that's... you're running out of options here I mean yes there's I mean what else is there's like offering your abilities like craftsmanship they don't need that right like yeah they don't need that that's offering your your daughters in marriage I don't have a daughter but in

can't do it um man what else, what else was, what else was from back in the day? We're running out of stuff. I mean, I could try and give seashells, but like I'm near the beach. Anyone can get seashells. Yeah. No, no. Spices. You can buy spices at the grocery store. There's really not much going on. Do you have like silk fabrics? I could agree to fight for them in some sort of war, but I don't think that's, you know, I could, I could offer my surfs and land, but I don't have either of those Yeah, you might just have to wait. Yeah, I'd bend the knee, but I got you know I got a bum knee man So I like you know I can't I don't want to bend the knee

No, you can't do that right right can't do that speaking of Literally none of that. We watched hot frosty. We did in fact watch Hot Frosty. You know what? Decent movie. For being a Hallmark-y movie. The movie was a completely fine, very entertaining film. Not like a great movie, but still very entertaining. The best part were the reviews.

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Yeah. That one review where the woman was like, the snow was fake. I can't believe they had fake snow on my Christmas. Like, what the hell are you, that's your concern? Like, I feel like she doesn't even think that, like, real, like, I feel like she would see fake snow and think it's real but she's like convinced herself of what it looks like and she's like that's not my fake snow but she thinks other fake snow is real snow it's like how girls can have the no makeup makeup look right yes I was thinking the exact same thing

and a lot of dudes will be like I like when you don't wear makeup and it's like no she's definitely wearing makeup my dude yeah no it's exactly like that I guarantee she's seen like fake snow in a different show and it's like no she's definitely wearing makeup my dude yeah no it's exactly like that I guarantee she's seen like fake snow in a different show and she's like why couldn't it be real like that like she doesn't know she doesn't get it yeah the one that the reviewer was talking about she's like I like this actor but Dustin's more attractive when he has his clothes on oh yeah it's like whoa Yes, I Mean for anyone doesn't know it was literally everything you can imagine from hot frosty. She puts the scarf on the snowman

He's a rip snowman, so I mean she could have put a dinosaur snowman she could we had a lot of yeah, we had a lot of questions about the premise this film because It's like crendor said scarf on man, man comes to life. Now if she put that scarf on a not hot frosty or on any of the other sculptures would that have come to life? Definitely would have. I mean is that the magic? That should be the sequel. But also there was

there was some biblical undertones clearly even though the movie tried to hide it Krendor and I picked up on it. Yeah no it was it was very much like there were some biblical undertones clearly. Even though the movie tried to hide it, Krendor and I picked up on it. Yeah, no, it was very much a like, he's bringing everyone together, he like died and rose again. He's Jesus, yeah, he's Jesus.

And the thing that's interesting about it is, in the movie, he has the brain capacity of a child where he just has no really, you know, adult sensibilities at all. But one thing he does know is anytime there is something even remotely addressed in the Bible, he knows. Oh yeah. So they don't mention the Bible, obviously, but you know, he won't understand one concept, but he'll understand that stealing is bad. Yeah.

He'll understand that like you don't want to kill anybody, but he will understand something else. And I think because he knows the Ten Commandments, dude, he's in it. He definitely is. He knows. Yeah. He's very, he's most of what he understood. Like at one point he has underwear on

How would a snowman know to put underwear on unless he knows? Original sin and basic shame he is he is very clearly some sort of Catholic snowman Yeah, no, he's Why I don't I think we couldn't figure out the denomination Potentially Mormon. Yeah. Yeah, probably more Mormon. I don't think if the Pope came down, like hot frost, he would be like, the Pope, where's my rosary? Or like, I think he would, I think he'd just be like, nah, dude, we're all about family

and having 20 siblings. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it was, it was, it's very funny because the, one of funny because one of the most awkward parts of the movie that I didn't talk about while I was watching it, but I kept thinking about it afterwards, is there's a scene where the guy from the office,

who is the cop, he gives a speech about how no one in the town takes him seriously. And he's like, I look out for you guys, but none of you take me seriously. And in that moment, I realize he's the only black dude in the entire town, I think. And it seemed like a really awkward like, ooh, this town might be terrible. But then the woman from the diner shows up

and I was like, oh, nevermind. Yep. Yeah, that's a classic Hallmark. Yeah, yeah. It was a good movie. It was fine. It's just so silly. And the fact that it doesn't take itself seriously makes all the reviews where people are taking it seriously even more funny. Yeah, it's one of those things where the less serious you take it, the more fun you have watching it. Like completely, completely.

Yeah, and there's some people, they take their Christmas Hallmark movies very seriously. Yeah, and I don't understand why. We saw some reviews that were like, I watch all of these, and this is the worst one I've ever seen. I was like, this might be my favorite one I've ever seen. Oh yeah, no, I agree. Most of them are sappy and trash and this one was like, we're gonna tell a pretty funny story and it has a decent message, the end. And I was like, yeah, alright. Yeah, no, it's a solid feel-good thing, right? Like a, give it like a good seven out of ten. Oh yeah, perfect seven out of ten. Like it yeah perfect seven out of ten like it fits the seven out of ten

It is a movie that gets in the first three minutes the story is already going Yeah, like we hot frosty exists by minute five There is not much opening plot. It's like we're going we're getting hot frosty. It's happening It's like we're going we're getting hot frosty. It's happening That's yeah, I didn't expect them to come to life so fast then boom there is I mean the plot literally I think centers around The fact that a random woman who owns a store gives a magic scarf to a woman and is like here you go, sweetie Crendor to this day. I believe that that woman made her husband out of snow. Oh I agree. I was convinced he was gonna be made out of snow and there's like keeping the tradition alive. I thought for sure she was gonna tell her at

the end, honey I knew you were looking for a man and I got my man from snow and so I wanted you to have one too. And it's like we're basically snow sisters yeah I thought there'd be a whole thing nope didn't happen yeah no I actually really thought that as well and then it we got we got nothing but also so it was really disappointing now that he doesn't need the spoilers for the end he's a real man now that's there you go done because he got kissed by her right cuz you get the power of Christmas magic, he got kissed. Yep. So if he doesn't need the scarf, does the scarf still have the magic? And can you use that scarf on something else and make other snowmen? Can every woman in that town get a handsome snowman? You know, when I think

about it, if they had kids, would their kids be snowmen congratulations Kathy it is a snowman like like they're they are they just normal humans now because he's the normal human but like are they gonna have snowmen I don't genetics I don't know how it works dude because the entire movie he was freezing cold he was naked he was under 30 degrees the entire movie yeah was freezing cold. He was naked. He was under 30 degrees the entire movie Yeah, and to the point where the doctor was like that's weird, but I also should sleep with him There's a moment this movie by the way everyone where the doctor Straight up is like boy. He's weird. You should come home and stay with me like wait a minute. What?

Yeah, the doctor's like man. He's not normal. He's like below 30 degrees on both his temperatures. We should bang Yeah, like what and the only reason why he did it is because he's like I want to stay with Kathy Yeah, as he's coloring a snowman in and it's like okay, which by the way, he's literally like a six-year-old Yes, this point or he's like I want to be with Kathy coloring books and then at the end of the point where he's like I want to be with Cathy dead coloring books And then at the end of the movie. He's just like I Love you, Kathy That's my favorite moment the movie gives the entire time. He's like oh boy

I'm just excited to be here, and then when they go for the close-up and shot of the movie. He's like I Love you, Kathy It's totally not a character. It's crazy. It's such a weird character shit It's like if at the end of elf like will ferro was like oh, yeah It's like it doesn't make sense. He's an elf the uh also going back to him actually just being Jesus Half of the movie he fixes her entire house and Kredor just shouted, Jesus was a carpenter! I laughed very hard. We kept noticing the similarities.

Yeah, look, they didn't want to say it but we knew what was going on. They tried to hide it from us keen-eyed viewers but we saw right through their story. No, yeah, no, we saw. We knew. Yeah there's a whole scene by the way where an older woman who I believe is the like honeypot lady from Dumb and Dumber. This older woman is like she crashes her car watching him shirtless fix a house. Oh yeah. And then there's a full scene where he bangs her car and she gets off. Yeah. He's like, Oh, it's like,

and she's like, do it baby. It's crazy. It's genuinely insane. This movie had it all. This movie was amazing. I would love to every minute of this. And again, the fact that there are people who are, not even a real Christmas movie. I'm like, you don't even know what Christmas is. You suck. They're not even filled with the Christmas spirit. Yeah, this guy was clearly Jesus. Come back to save this woman from her seasonal depression. Yeah. Which was caused by her husband dying.

Right, her husband died Yeah, but she got she genuinely got over that like a little too quickly for a snowman I think I don't know she spent the entire movie being like I can't I don't I don't know how to love anymore Like that was her whole plot which by the way I thought was much better than what I thought the movie was gonna be which was a Woman makes a snowman the snowman comes to be, which was a woman makes a snowman, the snowman comes alive, she bangs that snowman. I was like, what is the Christmas message here? But really it was about acceptance and letting go. And I was like, that's a very sweet message for this type of movie. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. It's, uh, it was definitely more heartfelt

than I thought it would be. It's like you hear hot frost. You you're like, she's literally like making a snowman she wants to bang. Again, there was a group of women in town, there were five women in town who all they wanted to do was bang hot frosty. They had a support group about finding this man and banging him. They were like, can you come over and fix our stuff? And then they watched him put a light together.

Oh my God, that's, it reminded reminded me the entire premise of like the problem like there had to be some sort of thing going wrong was that at the start of the movie when he comes alive he's naked and he like breaks some glass and so the the police are trying to arrest him because he like broke glass and stole his outfit he's wearing yeah Yeah, and the thing is, halfway through the movie, he repairs the glass, and the people that, by the way, the people that he repaired the glass for, that he broke the glass, that was the couple that gave the scarf to the woman, to Kathy.

So he fixes the glass, and they're like, oh, well, all's forgiven. He goes and tells them it was him that broke it on accident, and they're like, all's well, all's forgiven. He goes and tells them it was him that broke it on accident. And they're like, all's forgiven. You're all good with us, Jack. And everything's fine. They drop the charges. So in the end of the movie, he's not arrested

for any crime other than streaking. So at the big holiday party, the cops show up and arrest the sexiest man in town for streaking. And everyone's like, oh, it's not even that bad. And they're like, well, we can let him out if you, if you get $2,000. And she's like, I don't have $2,000. And I was just like, the whole town's going to pitch in. They love this man so much. And that's what happened.

Yep. It's, it's always amazing how how easily you can you can call these things out. It's almost like I absorb a lot of media and know every trope and so when they are so easily visible I'm like okay alright um I would recommend this movie as a watch with friends movie. Yeah, it's definitely a watch with friends movie. Yeah, I don't know if your parents might actually wanna see a good Christmas movie and expect this not to be just really fun. And yeah, it's a very, very fun movie.

But it's not, you know, like, woman down our luck, her boyfriend's so mean to her, and now she's headed back to her hometown where she can meet with her parents and find true love from Dave. He's a baker, but he only wears plaid and works out constantly. But not like Jim workout, he works out by chopping wood in the forest. He's down to earth and a good man. He treats his son Steve well. Their mom died when Steve was a baby,

so he doesn't even know his mom. He doesn't know what a mom is like. I could be that mom for him. And then Christmas. Right, like that's so trash. I hate those. To the core of my being, the fact that this one exists, I'm like, that was good.

That was fun. Yeah, it's like Medea's Christmas all but yes yes except without Medea yeah except there wasn't a scene where like Larry the Cable Guy showed up like look at that big old frosted dick you think his wieners cold too this movie really needed Larry the Cable Guy that would have brought it up to an eight out of ten yeah easy you can see there was a scene where they were the the car, like, having it out. And she was like, I don't know if I can love again. And he's like, I just want to be here for you.

Yeah, Larry the Cable Guy was in the back seat like, you think his testicles is frozen? Is there snowballs down there? He like comes out during the car scene where he's like banging the car. He's just like, are you putting your dick in that car? What the hell's going on? Frosty you're not supposed to be banging cars the woman would have been like don't let him do it let him do it dude Larry the Cable Guy would have just really capped this off like just what the he would be perfect with the jokes He would break up the ice literally literally just be like this what a motor an icicle You know what you know what the best part is is I keep thinking if that scene where he was like

Humping the car and the one was inside the car if that woman in the car was Madea how much of a better film this would have been Yeah There's so many so many replacements you can make or do you know what I think you could probably just slot Nick Cage in somewhere as well. Oh yeah oh yeah Nick Cage should have

been the hot snowman. I once was a snowman but now I'm a real boy. You could have literally had him be the main cop and then the office dude be the side cop and then Nick Cage would always get mad at him because he's like playing his piano he's like would you quit playing the organ? Stop doing that. Actually I would have loved it if he was the husband of the woman who gave the scarf because it would have made no sense to have such a big actor be the guy who has two lines in the entire thing. But is clearly a previous snowman. Oh yeah.

And at the end he was like, I was once a hot frosty. I'm a not frosty. Oh man. When I was cold, I didn't age. Now look at me. With that change, with all those changes, that is practically an Academy Award winner. Yeah, it would have been a great film. Also, if you want to watch it, but nobody else does, you can just watch our stream. Yeah, we do, and it will be up for a while. We have a watch along. Should be up for the whole month. Yes and you get to see

I ate an edible before we started you get to see we slowly start laughing harder and harder at stuff. Which by the way those will be on the podcast sponsors you can see in in full effect how Yeah, future sponsorship You know what that product well Speaking of products working well notice how the days are shorter, but your to-do lists aren't Power through your busy days with Factor's no prep, no mess meals from breakfast to dinner and anything in between.

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traffic out there oh man let me tell you, holiday season, that traffic is insane. You got people coming home from Thanksgiving, you got people getting ready to go buy gifts, you got people that are, they're doing stuff. Man, it's crazy out there. Um, yep yep thank you thanks Crendor now let's go over Crendor with you weathered ass how's that weather weather Merry Christmas Crendor

oh Merry Christmas Crendor I don't think I like that one oh by the way I can't help it I'm a man now. I wanted to bring up Because I mentioned it last night. I wanted to bring up arcane

Quickly, all right during the weather segment. Yes, because I was gonna bring it up earlier, but I Had the I had to mention I tried watching it and I got bored all right And I realized that it's just the show is just not for me. It's it feels like it's more Marvel League of Legends The show more like Marvel anime League of Legends is like how I put it and It's just it's all the champions that I just never cared about there's there's no fiddle sticks. There's no Rammus They literally they could have easily Reasoning for not liking the show is is in I quote where was sticks no sticks. I believe is what it'll sex I Said where's the stick the fiddle sticks?

I just think it's very funny that you hate this show because no one you like is in it And it's all the characters you hate because the people who play them It's I Have it an insane bias Towards all the wear because I've I've already played the game against these characters in fact most of the characters in this Like show are on my ban list, so I already hate them immensely Okay, like echo I have there's a point in league ranked where I banned Echo every game for months when I was climbing the ladder because I couldn't stay in the

echo and their dumb ass alt where they travel backwards after being at one HP and then they're back up to like 2000. And I was like, this is a stupid as shit banned every game. Now I'm supposed to be like, Oh, here's Echo in a show. Let's see what Echo is all about. Like I don't like Echo. I banned you for months months now you expect me to care like get out of here, and then they don't you know no ramus No, malphite no scarner. What about scarner? Let's learn about scar and someone's like good So they're doing piltover yeah, cuz it's got the most human anime champions in it that they can just shove it It's the same reason they have stopped making fun champions because nobody wants to buy them They want the anime ones because they sell more skins

They sell more shit. It's garbage. They've destroyed it now. Would you have been okay? If it was a whole yordle show? Yes, that'd be better if it had like a team ooh and grumpus You're not buying him on the Chinese website Amazon. I mean, maybe it depends on where the animations from although at this point They practically ruined emo. They got rid of all those stuff He's not even like an old war veteran now though Maybe he kind of is team who the team oh now Are you one of the guys that is definitely complaining about the fact they completely reworked Victor I?

Based on based on the show I Kind of was like not Victor last night, but like I honestly don't care Victor I based on based on the show I kind of was like not Victor last night but like I honestly don't care I write right because I never nobody really played Victor ever right because it's not it's not the Moo Moo a Moo Moo they even put a Moo Moo in the show did they

I don't think something they did I don't know that is saying oh god it's just I don't know I and like I didn't know who that is. He's already said. Oh god. It's just, I don't know. And like I didn't, I just, I'm somebody when I watch a show, like you already know about my lore and like story things. There's already people like, Creador doesn't like stories. Creador doesn't like anything. Okay, number one, I like some things. Alright?

I like some things. Alright? I like some things. I much prefer stories that are like kind of mysterious or like psychological thriller. You would absolutely enjoy the second season of Arcane. I don't think I would. Okay alright. I just, it's too marvel-y and I don't really like Marvel that much. It's okay. But like I always just hate the like They'll just say jokes that are just like and that's how I am and it's like alright

You know like I get that like once but it has that like Marvel humor to it And then the plots are always kind of generic. I couldn't disagree with you more. It's so funny The plots are just like it's it's like video game story plot, which is why I hate video game stories. I couldn't disagree with you more. I'm shocked. What do you mean? Like, I love Arkane, and I think League of Legends is not worth playing at all. Well yeah, because it's completely different, because they ruined everything. That's what I said, I brought it up. They made this for people that don't play League of Legends. Yeah, they did

Which or they made it for people that are just like they played all the champions that I hate in League of Legends So they made it for the everybody that's not me Pretty much the only thing I was like the art style is cool, the animation is pretty cool. I'm shocked. So, you want some sort of League of Legends Riot property featuring all the goofy characters, but in a serious way. They're not even goofy! They're not even goofy! Tito's pretty goofy looking dude. They could literally do the coolest thing like Fiddlesticks and maybe it's like this crazy horror themed Fiddlesticks thing. He's like haunting the farms and he's like Fiddlesticks is awesome. Who's farm? Who's he haunting? I don't know that's their job to write the script.

Like I feel like the problem here is a lot of the characters you love are clearly just Ports from Defense of the Ancients They're not human. Like Fiddlesticks is clearly just a port from the Scarecrow unit From Defense of the Ancients that they just put in League of Legends when League of Legends first started Yes, I like those. I get it, but he's also not a unique character. He's literally just I was a Scarecrow None of these characters are unique. They're just human. They're just like generic tropes. There's like it's Caitlin. She's not like unique. It's just she's Caitlin her whole thing was like I have a gun And I'm the sheriff of Piltover, and that was it. She was her champion, but they're like you know what this is a human

We can create a human story for they weren't like oh man. Let's take Corky Like who's Corky? who the hell is Corky? We got Heimerdinger that was fun my problem is this is everything that has driven This is like a buildup of things this isn't just like the show This is like a buildup of like number one riot canceled Christmas years ago. They destroyed Christmas and the the winter theme map Everybody has wanted the winter theme map so badly and they just refused to bring it back They're like we don't have the technology yet

They are selling like skin maps of TFT stuff and they have like themed maps to come up It's like where's the winter man? All right That's number one number two they stop making all the champions that I Like because they don't sell as much as the anime champions that people can Be like oh, I can play Yone. It's Yasuo's brother. They're definitely do some show on that I'm gonna hate because it's Yasuo and Yone. It's like my ultimate ban list every Yasuo player in the world is like Okay, it's just

And then they redo Timo one of my favorites and now the oh I've no I like what am I supposed to say I don't know half the references you're talking about yeah now they're like taking the show stuff and putting it at League and I'm like I don't know who this is they're like here's like a

person in TFT is like okay it's some guy I don't know and they're just like oh there you go so I don't like that it's I don't mind it I'm not like gonna write a forum post about it but I don't like it and it's just it's not my League of Legends it's changed it's not my legends Hashtag not my League of Legends, and it's I don't know I I don't hate what the people like the show. I don't think it's a bad show It's just definitely not My type of show and I have a very strong bias built in from playing the game over all these years from these characters So I can't see a character is just like some character

Because I see it as like a character I've played against in the game, and I have a like I care more about competitive multiplayer than I care about a generic story And I know someone's like it's not generic every story can be generic But it's like broken down and like it's to me like I said it's like anime Marvel. That's what it feels like. I mean, okay I don't know how to I can't fight you on this because I don't know that's inaccurate But I also don't know like your complaints are so hyper specific just to people who play That I'm sure there are people who agree with you. I can't deny that but also yes

It's really funny to me that it's like this isn't the thing that I love by the way The thing I love makes me crazy That's how a lot of people Does they get so passionate about something that they like they defend it because it's like it was a part of you that shit The legal legend is a part of me for years it wore me down Play against echo took years off my life now they want me to think he's the hero that man's no hero exactly trash I wish you got removed from the game give me two bands please it's I'm trying to like think of

a way I can like compare it it's like if they made a Final Fantasy story, alright, and they show you all these characters in a game and then they're like we're gonna turn that game into a TV series and then they change a bunch of the characters or like make them different and then you're like well this is weird they're not like from the game or like maybe you had a bad experience like playing the game with them and then you watch them in the movie and you're supposed to cheer for them but you already have a predetermined Like from the game or like maybe you had a bad experience Like playing the game with them, and then you watch them in the movie And you're supposed to cheer for him, but you already have a pre-determined bias Because you don't like them in the game and now they made them good that sounds like a you problem

It's not Sounds like you problem. I think is Listen, I'm just saying I Don't like it No kidding I I knew I wasn't gonna like it but I wanted to like I wanted to at least try it I didn't want to be the person that's like I don't like sushi but I've never eaten sushi I was like you know what I'm gonna at least try to

watch it I just uh-huh I just couldn't do it so yes that's it well I guess we got to go to the weather now. Weather time. I believe we just have Vermont left and then we've covered all the states. That's it. Yeah. Let's see where we land. We land at Vermont. Vergennes? What? V-E-R-G-E-N-N-E-S Small city with lots of history. I would go to the local library and walk along Otter Creek. The joke about the school name whenever going to events games was that we're from virgins

plus our mascot was the Commodore which probably didn't help. Long time listener, thank you for the laughs throughout the years. Yeah okay. It is... Wow! This city looks like it is an actual, like it's so cute. It's probably a hallmark town. I mean, do it. It is. It has a bridge and a waterfall waterfalls under the bridge

and like little cute houses on that bridge with the waterfalls. It is a hallmark movie location for sure. Well, currently there it's 28 degrees. Feels like, uh, 20 degrees. Snow likely coming around the corner. Midnight, we've got 68% humidity, 29.99 inches of pressure, 9 mile visibility, 9 mile winds, 19 on the dew point, UV index zero, moon phase, new moon, and a 7.08 AM

sunrise and a 4.15 PM sunset. Ten day. We've got snow showers in the evening, 21 degrees overnight, Monday partly cloudy, 34, Tuesday 33 with clouds, Wednesday 35 with clouds, Thursday rain, snow 36, Friday 24 partly cloudy,, 26 party cloudy and Sunday 32 partly cloudy. I must stress to you, this is such a holiday town that the main street is called main street first off.

Of course. And then the locations on main street are Black Sheep Bistro, Virginist Laundry, a place called Malabar. It's a gift shop. Lily Boutique, women's clothing, Stone Block Antiques, stone block antiques, diddle and zen florists, hair and the dog, a liquor store, a place called Jackman fuels, rockers pizzeria, and lulu ice cream. That is mainstream. Is really is a Christmas movie that is insane also the fact that force called diddle and Zen is really funny diddle still and then I don't know what that

means what is that a reference to oh I don't know diddle and Zen is a wild meanwhile rockers pizza yeah like a pizza place but then they got black sheep bistro that looks pretty good all Meanwhile, Rockers Pizza, they got like a pizza place, but then they got Black Sheep Bistro that looks pretty good. All these places, very small town, but also good looking food. Yeah, it's, I'm trying to, what if I just dropped in the middle of this town?

Let's see what we got. I mean, it is, again, it's one road, dude. This town is straight up a main street and then a few side streets where people live I mean this is actually pretty close to pretty close to Canada is it yeah oh yeah it's right across yeah look at that yeah it's like real close yeah it is very I would say what is that probably two hours from Montreal maybe Yes, that's an easy drive up there. Yeah, maybe less than two hours. I don't know you have to go past You have to go past Grand Isle State Park. Maybe I don't know what the trip up there is

Yeah, well we this is that's so fun like this town is I mean it's kind of close to stuff kinda it's also near a bunch of national park 2 national park national park 2 sounds like a movie national park 2 this time it's personal what's crazy is there's also a real-ass place called Santa's Village amusement park wait is Santa's Village amusement park year-round I don't know you think they'd it must be

because I'm looking at the summertime water slide. Oh wow, look at that. Santa's, I mean Santa in the summer is probably putting on his bathing suit going crazy. Yeah, I feel like maybe, yeah, open daily 9.30 to 6 p.m. Hey, look at that. But that's in Jefferson, New Hampshire. So I went across the border I guess. Sorry Vermont. Honestly, all these restaurants look pretty good. Like the little,

yeah, dude, they're all very like quaint and sweet. And yeah, also nearby is Ben and Jerry's flavor graveyard. What? It is a graveyard dedicated to all of the no longer made Ben and Jerry's and then there's a Ben and Jerry's nearby. That is... Maybe this is on the Ben and Jerry's property but this is they also just have a flavor graveyard. Yeah the factory tour. Oh that's so funny. Damn. Yo that's's pretty cool yeah I'm looking at some of them right now that's sweaty balls from 2011 that no longer exists yep cool

Britannia was 1989 to 1990 that no longer exists all right all right Vermont not bad so yeah that's uh that's the weather look at that we've now covered all 50 states. We did it. We did it. Now we have to cover every country in the world. Yeah, now we have to cover all the countries. Start giving us some countries we haven't covered.

Let's start small. We'll take different provinces in Canada and I assume, is it states in Mexico? We'll take different Mexican states as well. I'll just throw all your, I mean I'll take random ass islands and shit too, just start throwing them out there. I just want to start small before we start getting crazy because I don't know what we've covered. I can't remember half the things we've covered. We need that dude who comes to the live show instead of giving us all the moons and new moons, we need a list of every place in the world we've covered. Actually we did have that before on the new moon

moon thing but that would require work. We need like a world map and the places we've covered filled in Now we make it easy for us visual aids. Yeah That's the leather all right, let's go sports Sports we had sports today We currently have the Bills blowing out the 49ers 35-10 in the snow game We had the Colts beat the Patriots the Steelers beat the Bengals The Chargers beat the Falcons the Seahawks beat the Jets Houston beat Jacksonville, Minnesota barely beat Arizona Washington blew out Tennessee Tampa Bay beat Carolina and overtime even though Carolina should have won, but they fumbled

That's pretty bad We had the Rams beat New Orleans. We had Philadelphia beat Baltimore and On Thanksgiving we had the Lions beat the Bears Bears got their coach fired because it was a terrible ending that they mismanaged a clock with and numerous other terrible weeks for their coach The Packers beat the Dolphins and the Cowboys beat the Giants. Over in basketball Cavaliers 18 and 3 in first place Celtics behind it 16 and 4 Then you got the Magic 15 and 7 and then the Knicks 12 and 8 bucks 10 and 9 and the Heat 9 and 9

That's top six teams. Then you've got the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Rockets tied For first place or wait no half a game separating them with the first and second you got the Grizzlies at third Warriors fourth and then Lakers and Mavericks at five and six. However, there are still like 60 games to be played That sounds right Yeah, then in hockey We've got the Florida Panthers and the Maple Leafs battling out for first in the East Atlantic in the Metropolitan you got the Capitals and the Devils and the Hurricanes all battling it out. The West you got the

Minnesota Wild and the Jets battling out first and then in the Pacific you got the Golden Knights and the Kings and a few other teams actually all battling out. That's all pretty close there but again many games to be played and that is sports. Oh right, what is our fact of the day? Lemons float in water but limes sink. Why? That's interesting, why? That's a good question.

This says, lemons and limes both have densities that are very close to water, so you expect that they would both float. However, limes are slightly less dense than lemons, which is why they will sink when unpeeled and lemons will float. Peeling the fruit affects the density of the lemon, it will now sink slightly. Damn, that's actually pretty cool. Yeah, that's interesting. Because they got a, there's some picture of like lemon-lime water and then all the lemons are floating at the top and the limes are at the bottom

so one of those sinus Sinus by sinus experiments my saw the science experiments where they they're just like look at that and you're like wow Yeah, this is one of those it does have the vibe of like a weird you watch some Cool science video online and then it changes your perspective on something that you probably already should have known. Yeah. Yeah, I like this. That's a good one.

Yeah. Uh, that's a fact of the day. Okay, who has come to us this week with tears in their eyes? Dear illustrious sirs, with tears in my eyes, I grovel before thee. Given how much the world you have explored through your weather segment and your love of restaurants, I have a question. If you get the opportunity to open any sort of restaurant in any country, money and language not being a factor, which countries would you choose?

Oh, man. I... If I had to open any... Here's the thing. If I opened a restaurant, is the assumption I'd have to work at that restaurant? I don't know. You'd have to at least show up from time to time. Yeah, that's the trouble is I'd want to open something that I'd want to be at, you know? Right. So, probably like a hot dog cart. It's a random hot dog like a hot dog cart but in like what's a country that needs a good hot dog like somewhere in the Philippines the Philippines are

they rocking hot dogs I don't know like Tanzania like we got to bring the hot dogs to the people you know I'm saying yeah yeah yeah dude oh my god I do brats that's what I'm saying we can make a whole hot yeah we do like a hot dog thing we got brats we got dogs we got some some hot sausage yeah the Italian sausage yeah we got peppers and we got sauerkraut and we got onions buns that we put on the grill spicy mustard oh yeah we get our spicy mustard like handcrafted from the finest mustard men. We have four different types of mustard. Yes. We have a mustard for every, we got a honey mustard, we got a yellow mustard, we got a

spicy mustard, and we got like a grainy mustard. Yeah, and these are like the best mustards you can get. These are mustards made by an old man Yeah, the old mustard man. Yeah, we call him Mr. Mustard and he makes all of our Mr. Mustard Mustard brand and he makes all of our mustards for us Yeah, he's like the guy where every morning he wakes up and he just has like a line of mustards that he tastes Yeah, before he does anything. And here's the best part because it's a cart. We can travel around the world and we can

deliver food to the people that need it. We bring, we travel the world and we're like, we got your hot dogs here, get them brought right now. It'd be amazing. We go to France, they'd be like, I do not know what's this is. what's disease and be like it's a street dog mister you gotta love it So there you go yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, simple. That's a good one and then dear illustrious sirs with tears in my eyes I beseech thee I completely understand not wanting to sit down and watch full-length Hollow live streams they're very fun, but not everyone has time for that sort of thing there are however hundreds upon hundreds of youtubers who upload short easy to Digest clips with stream highlights from just about every single stream and event this might make it easier if you explore their content see whether You'll like them there dozens dozens of girls to choose from they're all unique

In their own way most of them are from North America or Japan There's also Indonesian branch and even a few European girls joined earlier. I strongly recommend it. You know, I was with you until you said there are dozens of girls to choose from. And at that point, it became like, you know, have you ever seen those videos

where like a dude ends up at a brothel and there's like a bunch of women just standing around like, hey mister, and he has to make a choice That's what it's that's what you made for me is like a bunch of anime girls like hey mister, and I'm like What do you girls is the one for me you choose flavor? Yeah, I was with you right up until that point and I was like Yeah, which of these girls is the one for you, mister? I mean, like in theory, I'm down to looking, I've definitely seen stuff online.

I've seen little shorts and things, but like, I'm not sure if you're aware, I'm dealing with an apartment in a bank right now I don't have time to fall in love with a little anime character I can't I got bills to pay I don't watch streamers or youtubers I hate streamers and youtubers in fact I've heard that about you yeah but don't worry there's several girls to choose from yes several girls to choose from don't worry. There's several girls to choose from Several girls to choose from don't work. Yeah, you'll find one. That's right for you, baby I'm gonna do this next one just because this is more of a question that was more of a like you guys should do this

Dear illustrious sirs I come before you with tears in my eyes and on my knees and dire need to know what is the best grocery store bought confectionary to bring to the family holiday party? Oh here's the answer and it's gonna shock you because it's true. Those weird-ass cookies that have the icing that sticks to the roof of your mouth that it's almost like barely baked like like something house. Oh the sugar like the sugar cookies? The sugar cookies the ice sugar cookies that are the grocery store they come in that you know the plastic package yeah and they're there every grocery store and everyone knows what I'm talking about it's the ones that have the icing that I don't think is real icing I don't know what the hell it is and they're delicious but also

taste incredibly fake those are the ones. I I agree, those are like pure sugar too. Everyone loves those, and if they say they don't love them, they're just fronting. They're the most American version of a cookie in that it's all fake. It's perfect. And if nobody's like, I don't know, once they start drinking, they'll start eating them. Yeah, oh those will go fast. And the good news is, you know, that uncle that you hate, he's gonna eat a bunch of those and he'll barely be able to talk because he'll be stuck in his mouth the entire time.

Yeah. Two birds, one stone, baby. Yeah, there you go. And that's that. Okay, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day, day, day, day, day. Day. Um, mind you, I was struggling to find news today. I did find one thing. So I did end up going to Cosmopolitan.

Oh boy. Just to see. You know. Just to see what they were up to. And I saw 155 dirty pickup lines to heat up your spicy convos. Okay, you know what? I'm in. Hit me. Let's go. I need to know these pickup lines. I could use some of these.

Alright, so we have PG rated pickup lines first. No, that's trash. No, go to the dirty ones. PG? To be like, do you fall for heaven because you're my angel? It pretty much is yeah, no that's trash who cares do you have a shovel because I'm digging your look trash garbage It's embarrassing for all of us Now we got PG 13 okay. We can start here. Yeah

I can't taste my cherry chapstick. Can you give it a try? That is like a pick-up line you would hear in seventh grade. Probably why it's PG-13. You're just clarifying. Yeah, right. No, it's absolutely correct. Yes, yeah. Although this one's nice pants, can I talk you out of them? That doesn't feel like PG-13. Although, I don't know. That's probably something Jesse Cox would say in seventh grade. No, I would say I've got the F to C and the K. All I need is you. Ah, I see.

Yeah, that's a classic. I got, I'll flip a coin. Whichever side it lands on is what you'll get tonight Okay, I mean put a lot of chance there also why not both why can't I have both Yeah, you know a coin is both sides not just the one And we also have there's a big sale at my house clothes are 100% off I Would have enjoyed clothes are half off better. Because there's like an implication there that like you're going to keep something on though. We're not like, you know.

Yeah, and I think it's a little funnier that way. Yeah, clothes half off. Like which half? That's a good. Yeah. Are we Donald Ducking it? What's going on? Yeah. All right. Now we've hit the R rated pickup. All right. This is good. Are you little Ca-rated pickup lines. Alright, this is good. Are you little Caesars because you're hot and I'm ready?

That feels like a PG-13 one. That's very PG-13, yeah. Yeah. Your clothes look uncomfortable. Let me help you out of them. Wait, what? That's still not it. Yeah. The half off still not it. Yeah, that's the half off one. It

was better. Yeah. Um, is that some Halloween candy in your pocket? Are you just happy to see me? That's like, that's terrible. That would actually, that's not good at all. Also, if it's the holiday season, if it was Halloween they might just be like it is it is candy Yeah, also is the implication that that dude's dick looks like Halloween candy You mean the smaller than normal size candy? Damn you look like you got a fun-sized package I'm cold. Can I use your thighs as earmuffs? Uh, the intention is good. I don't think it's a good pick-up line though. It's a little too try-hardy.

Yeah, the intentions there I get it, but no. Yeah, um, I wish I was your phone so you'd be on me all day. That sounds less like a pick a pickup line and more like passive aggressive behavior yeah that's maybe if you got off your phone yeah maybe you weren't your phone the whole time maybe you'd pay attention to me just check my phone battery and it's 69 percent that's

that's just that's a number joke not even a pickup line that's like I'm gonna let you know guys if you find a girl who thinks that's a really funny joke keep her keep her she is literally laughing at the stupidest things she likes you dude keep her maybe that's what this is testing yeah really if you

want to just you know make a girl laugh Try this if she laughs she likes you if she doesn't it's a bad joke What time do you get off can I watch? That seems like something creepy you'd say to a little employee. It's a little sex pesty Yeah When do you get off work? Yeah, when do you get off? You mean from work? No, that's not what I meant. You know what I meant Whoa supposed to work. Yeah

The only thing I want to work is you later All right now we've hit the triple X pickup line. Oh, I can't wait for these classics Cosmo once again killing it truly Are you a haunted house because I'm going to scream when I'm inside you I? Know the implication is supposed to be like this guy getting off which again a little sex-pesty But I in my mind I imagine a guy as he's having sex with this woman just shouting in her face Like an actual like Just letting you know I'm a psychic and we're definitely gonna bang That's not even, that's...

It's not even good. It's terrible. It's like, yeah. Do you want to see a movie or do you want to make one? So this is just a random person asking you to make a porn. Or he really is an auteur and is like we could actually make a film Will you be my star? I must be a beaver because I'm dying for your wood

All right, all right That's not where I thought that was gonna go. I'm dying for wood sucks. It should have been I must be a beaver because damn that's funny that's a good one that's a good one yeah because damn that's cute that's funny I must be a beaver because I want your wood is like stupid yeah that's dumb these are so bad that shirts very becoming very becoming on you. If I were you, I'd be coming too. See again! Again. That shirt's very becoming on you, just like I will be later. Like that's the that's the line! Although like nobody's gonna even know becoming. I don't even like... It doesn't matter because he said the thing you said I'll be coming on you later like that's

That's the that's the joke this saying like adding extra steps to it is ridiculous Yeah, no making it overt like overly complicated for no reason I'm training to be an astronaut and my first mission is to explore your anus again, uh No, that's terrible. It's like an eight-year-old wrote that Yeah, it's definitely the Planets called your anus. That's also your butt head or your butt head your butthole, but But it's your butt head man

your butthole but but it's your butthead man my doctor told me I have a vitamin D deficiency you want to go back to my place and fix that do we have to go buy it or what would you want to do there yeah we can go there's vitamins for that we can go to the grocery store right now I'll help yeah this is these are terrible. These are bad. Yeah, they're really bad. Who wrote this? Rachel Verena. Rachel is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators to the best TV shows. Rachel is I'm going to I'm going to assume none of these have ever been used

on you. And you went to a website and typed in on Google, best pick up lines, then wrote an article. She definitely did. I mean, I bet if we looked these up we would find these on other sites. Oh yeah, 100%. Because none of these are good. Ten years of editorial experience.

So she's been here a while with bylines at Women's Health Elite Daily, Betches, and more. Oh, boy. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she's not testing out her toys 100 plus and counting, she's likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip totally and ideally at the same time. Yep.

Oof. Yep, that's... that's about what I thought. This new Cosmo trash? Hashtag not my Cosmo. Hashtag not my Cosmo. Hashtag not my Cosmo! That's your news story of the day. Alright, well that's it for us. Thanks so much for listening and watching. I'm enjoying this podcast. Crendor hitting with the socials. We've got socials youtube.com slash cox and Crendor podcast. That's where all these are are there are that's where all these are at.

And it's where you can comment the weather requests the the comments of the sirs and such and more also we're on SoundCloud Spotify iTunes and we got youtube.com such Cox and Crendor that's where we have the animations then we have our own things such as youtube.com, Jess Cox, YouTube Crendor, Twitch Jess Cox, Twitch Crendor, Facebook Jess Cox, Facebook Crendor, Twitter Jess Cox, Twitter Crendor, the TikTok Crendor, TikTok Jess Cox, TikTok Instagram Latorre Cox, Instagram Crendor was taken and more. And more? Okay well that's it you can find us on more but thanks for all the, well that's it. And more. You can find us on more.

But thanks for all the love and that's it for us. We'll see you next time. And as always, to be continued.