Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 459 - ASMR Has Gone Too Far

Episode Date: March 16, 2025

The boys are back and this time Crendor is somehow, once again, SICK. How on earth?! Meanwhile Jesse continues to live his best life, if best life includes becoming a mobile game addict. And then the boys discover ASMR is getting real weird, but not as weird as a man swallowing diamonds in Florida. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/heroforge/custom-dice?ref=8yhmoe to see all backing tier options and gear up for your next big tabletop adventure. And don’t delay–the Kickstarter ends April 5th! Go to http://meundies.com/crendor and use code CRENDOR to get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping on orders of $75 or more.

Today's episode is brought to you by Hero Forge. Hero Forge has got some cool custom minis just for you. Also today we're brought to you by me undies. Me undies are the undies that I have on me. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody it's time for Ghost in Tredong. This is Tredong in the morning. In the morning. We're broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. Before our recording studio ends. Recording. Oh boy what an exciting week oh I don't know that it is but I'm curious why you think it is uh it's not as long ah that was sarcasm I see our chasm was the thing I use there mmm and why exactly is that the case I've had a

cold all week I thought your immunity was top-notch. I thought you were eating yogurt. I thought you were defying the laws of physics. I think I gotta start injecting yogurt. We need to get into 2025. Nobody's just eating yogurt. I gotta start injecting. I get it.

I get it. Although, speaking of yogurt, I don't know what I did and I don't know... It's been bugging me the last few days. So I went to the grocery store and I saw they had a yogurt that looked very fancy I'm talking fancy and I had some leftover granola at home and I was thinking oh if I get one of these yogurt cups these fancy yogurt cups I can put my granola in the yogurt and I'll have like a cool breakfast. When I say fancy, I mean, it didn't come in plastic. It came in like glass.

Ah, I see. And I was like, yeah, all right, let's go. So the yogurt I got was like a vanilla honey kind of thing. I think it was just regular yogurt, but with honey flavor or whatever, I don't know. So I took it home and I made it for breakfast and I was really excited to eat this thing cause I was like, man, it's gonna have like that honey taste

plus the yogurt, I'm so excited. I don't know if someone mislabeled that package, but it tasted like lemons and it worried me cause I don't know if it was sour and spoiled or if it was mis-packaged or if the yogurt just had that flavor because it was a fancy type of yogurt I have no knowledge all I know is that when I took a bite. I was like what the hell? What was it called?

Something French like lay yogurt That does sound like French yogurt I mean cuz I know that Americanized yogurt tends to have barely any flavor whatsoever, and I know that if you get that Scalding gherkin or whatever the hell that's called yeah the Sort of Norwegian Finnish Swedish whatever that yogurt is That has like a different texture and a different taste to it. But this, I was like, ooh, a French, I'm here for this.

It just tasted like lemons. I didn't get a hint of honey at all. I was like, maybe it was mislabeled or someone changed the, I just don't know. It seemed sealed tight, everything seemed fine, but it tasted so weird that I literally did a check. Like, is there fungus? Is there mold in here?

What the hell? Nothing. I don't know what the hell I ate, to be honest. Huh. Still ate it all, though. I mean, everything, gone. It was still fine. Well, when was that?

I don't know, like two days ago. So I'm fine. Oh, okay. I was like like you said like an hour ago Oh, no, no, no, maybe I also have like incredible gut strength though. That's true. You could have power immunity to yeah like immunity to weird molds and stuff, although man I This is why look I love the idea the idea of This is why, look, I love the idea, the idea of organic food, but every time I get it, every time I finally break down, I'm like, alright. It spoils so quickly.

Yeah, that does kind of suck. It sucks, yeah, I want to, I mean, I want to eat like more organic fruits and vegetables and whatever, but they go bad quick. I got a, a like organic cheese thing that I was gonna that cheese turned green so I was like you know what I'm done fill me with your weird medicines and chemicals like I just it needs to last longer than four days yeah sometimes I'm like you know what whatever I'll eat the the preservative cheese right I'll eat the preservative apple

actually I don't really like apples that much I'll eat the preservative cheese right I'll eat the preservative apple actually I don't really like apples that much I'll eat the preservative orange like even with oranges you're eating the inside it's not like you're eating the outside of it I do have questions about that because right because like the difference between an organic orange and an orange that you would buy just normally is they sprayed it with something or is there more to it you know what I mean I've heard I've heard that they even use organic pesticides like they still have organic pesticides so you don't even know those are doing

something yeah yeah I mean I genuinely don't know I mean the it is shocking to me when you do the research so I was obsessed I think we talked about on the show was obsessed with organic wines not drinking them but the concept of them cuz I'm like isn't it just grapes and Fermentation like hey, hold on. How does that? What do you mean? You have non-organic? I Discovered they put so much crazy stuff in wine. I had no idea Yeah, they do some crazy stuff with wine. I watched a wine making video. I was blown

away I was like oh they put all sorts of things in wine to make wine wine. I did not know. I'm used to seeing that meme video of the woman stomping on grapes and falling over. Like that's all I can think of. That's not it. Yeah that clearly is back in the day, but not not this day Yeah Yeah, I don't know it's uh How that's gonna help your immunity, but it might it might I'm doing you know Just as good as you right now to be honest didn't you ever I feel like you had a cold I did get a cold.

I don't remember if it was because I was flying somewhere or, oh no, it was because Davis hung out with his little cousins and his little cousins got him sick and then he got me sick. Once again, reminded me, kids, they're the worst. I would have never guessed. I would have never guessed, yeah. I, because I know there's gonna be people like,

Cranador, weren't you just sick like a month ago? Yes, okay, I had a like a month ago? Yes, okay I had a cold a month ago. I got another one. All right. I didn't willingly go out try to get it So I was like I looked up I was like dude my immune system was like ass but Apparently the average adult gets two to three colds a year kids get six to seven colds a year. Kids get six to seven colds a year, which you know adds up because their immune system hasn't developed like yet, so they're you know every cold is new to them while adults have fought off like a bunch. And it says that the older you get you actually get less colds because you've built up immunity to so many different strains.

They said a strong immune system can actually make colds worse. Because the symptoms of a cold are actually your immune system fighting it off. It's not the actual virus giving you the symptoms. Right, then runny nose, the cough, that's your body trying to expel all that crap. Yeah. Yeah, so if anything, my immune system was fantastic this cold. I felt like ass. What a positive way to look at it.

I'm pretty sure I know where I got it. There was one day last week, this all kind of checks out. So one day I went out to a bar restaurant with my friend and they were doing karaoke night. That was a likely potential area I could have got it. Karaoke night where everyone's screaming loudly at a crowd, yes. Yep. The other one was the following day.

I then went to the mall. And then right after the mall, played Warhammer at my friend's house, who has two grade school kids and a wife that's a nurse. So you're really just putting yourself in the line of fire as far as I can tell. I think that was my issue. I just went straight into the line of fire. And then you walked out into no man's land

and just got lit up. Yeah, so literally a week ago Sunday at the end of Cox and Crendor, I could feel it. You know that feeling? Ah, the old tingling of throat feeling feeling yeah, I had a little post nasal I felt the the throat little irritated, and then I just started feeling like oh, and I was like oh no It's happening My favorite part about this is the fact that you had to do streams

I mean, I guess you didn't have to do do them but you still did them and then you use this ridiculously hilarious voice bot thing and I assume you were typing responses but holy crap the way it spoke was so funny I don't know if you found one that just spoke funny or if it just it sounded like an alien trying to mimic a man for the first time it's hilarious a lot of people said sounds like octo voice quality wise sure but speaking wise that no one on earth speaks like

that thing oh yeah no it's probably the same shit they use for those youtube videos oh 100% yes though they'll talk Oh yeah, no, it's probably the same shit they use for those YouTube videos. Oh 100% yes, they'll talk normally then randomly just be like Say some really weird Like word or say something really odd instead of organic. They'll be like organic And you'll be like what it reminds me. I know you've never played it, but in cyber 2077, one of the characters, Panam, who I love, she's the best, also has some truly insane dialogue, where I don't know if they told her,

this is how your character talks, or if she just read directly from the script, but some of the lines of dialogue read like an alien trying to speak the English language. Imagine if you were to say I can't go with you. She says I cannot go with you like that and I always thought that was crazy because it's clearly a voice actor voice acting and I don't know if they said her character just doesn't use words like can't and wouldn't. And you know, like she's like, I would not like that.

I was like, why did you talk like that? Well, it has the vibe of someone reading a script written by a non English speaker, but only for her character, only for, and I don't know if it's just cause that's how she talks or what makes me go insane and I still have no answers on why but it sounds like this where your guy just said things you're like aha okay yeah but I knew it was you like the weird story tic-tacs you ever see those yes where it's clearly an AI voice do you know what the one they always use the one that sounds like and this is why women are the problem like that voice you know what I mean like it's sort of like a deep gruffy voice but it sounds but it's like

it's like constantly used by people yeah there's that one there's like the happy kind of uncanny valley woman where she's like these are the things blah blah blah blah blah whoo I haven't heard that one you don't want to hear that one I like that one okay and not a fan hmm so yeah now now I'm in the congestion phase if you couldn't tell you were not too bad oh yeah no'm way better. I have like all my energy back I'm just at the tail end where it's like you just have the lingering congestion Like you get the drip and then the drip makes you cough and then the cough is like oh I hate the cough, and then you just get a little clogged my

Like I'm just don't know and I'm like just clogged enough for I'm like oh It's annoying. It's more annoying now I mean, that's the that's the that's the cold in general. Yeah, there's about two or three days. You're like oh And then you're just annoyed for another two weeks Yeah, that's it sucks. Yeah, that's the worst part Yeah, that's it sucks. Yeah, that's the worst part That was the the thing when everybody was like dude Cranor is sick for so long with the in the Sonic the hedgehog COVID the worst part of that the the Cove it was fine for a week. The worst part was the laryngitis. I got after it That shit and like if I didn't have to do this for a job

It'd be like whatever, but I do apparently that's when I'd like the muscles in my neck like tensed up and So like the laryngitis was gone but I Would still get like tightness and whatever so it's suck So I do like vocal exercise YouTube videos with some guy that looked like Bon Jovi. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Maybe it was, dude. I haven't heard a lot of Bon Jovi lately. Yeah, so you'd just be like, you'd have to hum. Humming's really good, like, hmmmm, so it opens the vocal cords. It's one of those strange things where, I mean, we are very, very, very fortunate that this is is our job and talking is what we're paid for But with that said anytime you can't use your voice. You're literally just out of work basically

Let's use an AI text-to-speech Yeah, that guy terrifying like it was the worst. I hate him. Yeah, he's a listen. He's a good substitute teacher What was my Dennis Dustin? The people love Dustin the honest oh, I'm aware. I was in chat everyone was loving Dustin Yeah, and then I would come on and be like hey everybody and they're like get out of here Yeah, we want Dustin yeah Says it's been my week we watched pretty much just being like and then we watched Lion King Again the og lion king yeah the og lion king I was about to say you didn't subject yourself to that new one

No, not at all. It was a, you know what, it was pretty good. It was better than I remembered. Which, I've only seen Lion King like twice. Once when it came out in theaters when I was like five. And the other time I think I was like 14. So I remembered like barely anything. And I was like, you know what, it was pretty good.

Yeah, Lion King is a strange movie. It's good. One day I want to make a video on it. But is a, it's a strange movie. It's good. One day I want to make a video on it, but I feel like it's already been made by people who do movie YouTube. But the idea that it's like the first, I don't even know how long, let's say 20 minutes is very upbeat, very fun. Like I just can't wait. Right. They're doing the whole thing and it's circle of life and it's about the kid and he's having fun. And then it takes a tonal shift when the dad is

killed and it literally becomes Hamlet. Oh yeah. Like the movie, it's Hamlet with lions, right? Except it straight up just has a crazy tonal shift. And from that point on, it's not really played as a comedy anymore. It's like, we have to stop Scar. It's like, oh, okay. I always thought it was crazy. It's good. In fact, I liked the second half much better

than the first half. I think all the songs are better. I think everything's better, but like, just an absolute wild movie. Once Timon and Pumbaa show up it really kicks in. Yes, oh 100%. Yeah, cuz they up until that point then Simba's just like man life sucks and then they're just like what are you talking about? Come on kid let's go eat bugs. Yeah, Kuna Mathada. And he does. And then, it's like a crazy movie.

Cause there's definitely lion sex happening in that film, and there's weird like, there's a lot of stuff going. Like it is very 90's Disney. Yeah, then Rafiki's just like take the drugs, look at the sky.

Yes, you know. Lion King. Yeah so that was good mmm, and Built Warhammer. I saw you posted your giant stomper or whatever the hell. It's called stomp. Oh yep But I've been building Chaos Knights Welcome to the good faction. Yeah, I don't like many 40k factions, but chaos nights. I was like you know what? That's one more added to my 40k arsenal yes

Like that a lot yeah, I like them because they're mechs, but they're like cool mechs Yeah, you know all the other mechs are just normal mechs. I'm like whatever Give me some like rotting vulture mechs the one dudes. got like, I built the guy's got like big tentacle arms like Dr. Octopus. It's like the abomination or abominant I think. That's pretty neat. You still gotta have me on your show. I'll tell you all about Warhammer. I want to know more about Warhammer like...

Playing the game. Warhammer Warhammer. Not 40k but like like playing the game or hammer war hammer not 40k But like war hammer the game you play yeah, I mean I play 40k too right, but I mean like You know they all kind of tie together but not lore is what I meant Yeah, I'm like don't you play I meant the game that people the universal you play the tabletop Fight against each other roll dice. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, cuz I don't know a damn thing about that except for what you tell me so Yeah, no, I'll be I'll be a good one. I

I've I've played a lot of warhammer at this point like hundreds of games. I think about it Thousands if you include perfect perfect guest yeah, it's uh in fact I've been playing more 40k lately so I got we got our group got kind of tires sigmar And then we started going back to 40k for a bit. That's been fun Takes a lot longer though It turns out when your every unit shoots It takes longer instead of like some units don't do anything for turns and sig marks. It's more like medieval Okay. Yeah, I was about to ask you but you explained it so

Yeah, there's a lot There's a lot of shit then you're gonna be like are you eating something right? What are you eating right now? I'm eating a cauliflower pizza We're doing a podcast yeah, dude, I got a fight this cold up I podcast yeah dude I gotta fight this cold off I just thought you were stuffed up that was like hold on is he just eating a thing I am stuffed up with our pizza yeah both you're talking to the guy who does AI text-to-speech? Pokemon live streaming yeah, you did a whole stream, and you weren't even present except for Dustin yep Dude I also I also saw an old mind flame video from blues con 2011 whoa

Why how what was the did you see that they announced BlizzCon 2026 and you were like, damn dude. Uh... Remember BlizzCon? He like went down a rabbit hole or did you just stumble upon it? Toaster Woman found it. Then she was like, do you remember this? And then it was us at a table with Oxhorn. Oh man. Yeah, I miss those guys. It's been years, like almost a decade since I've seen

either of them. Yeah. Yeah, I think mind flame really became normal. As normal as he could be. As possible, yeah. Yeah. Oxhorn, I think, still does stuff. I did see him doing a thing, but it wasn't anything that I am even related to in any way So I was like alright do your thing But in the video you could you can tell I'm like try harding there I Hate you no no Well, I'm like trying to be cool. You know I mean Which makes it uncool, but I wasn't cool, so it adds up your logic is really flawless

So that's up like do the math yeah, so that was a trip down memory. That was 14 years ago. It's been a while. I think the last time from that crew back then the only person I Still talk to is you and then for a while Terran Gregory but he's been like super busy in the in the wow space I assume saving that game so you know bless him yeah they're making them do a lot now yes he is he went from being like the guy who makes cool movies to basically every time they bring out a lore thing they're just like Taron will do it and it's like okay so bless his sweet soul I hope he's getting paid what

he is worth because good God he is busy. Yeah they did that whole new goblin patch I've been loving that that's been great. It is really up your aisle. I saw the, all the videos for it. I was like, Oh, this is very cren coded. Yeah. It's been super cren coded. Uh, yeah. I assume you're making a lot of videos out of it. You're, you're getting a lot of good content. I did top 10 undermine. I streamed it a bit. Uh, I was going to do a thing on player housing, but then I got sick.

So, but honestly, the player housing looks insane. I don't know if you saw it. It looks good, yeah. It looks like WoW did exactly what they always do very, very well, which is they took something another game had, which is, it's basically the Final Fantasy XIV housing system, but made better.

Like it is dead on, like everything is dead on, everything they're showing, everything they're doing, it's straight up just the Final Fantasy 14 housing system, but they just took all the BS problems that are in the 14 housing system, that I don't know why they never fixed them, and they were like, we've removed all the bullshit. And honestly, love that, I think it's great.

Yeah, I think it's funny they did that after years of like, we can't do it. You're like, oh, okay. I mean, I understand. Yeah, I understand the reasoning behind it because I think the lesson they learned from the garrisons is that no one, if you build a house, people are just gonna stay in that thing

and no one's ever, ever, ever gonna populate game hubs. And it makes your world look empty. I get that. I understand what they were thinking. But with that said, having played Final Fantasy 14 for five years now, legit, it is not an issue. It never has been. People will go to their homes. They'll show it off.

But if anything, the homes are what are empty. It's the everyone that hangs out in the towns, like the homes are, it's not a, it's not a gimmick thing. You know, people store their stuff, they, you know, make a little thing to show off. But for the most part, people still hang out in public places and it's never really been an issue. And I feel like that was their concern. But the evidence shows that it's fine.

Just make player housing. People want that. They want to place a store, their trophies and the cool shit they got, or invite people over and do their weird ERP. There's plenty of that. Well, they're doing like neighborhoods too. So they are doing like little communities.

Yeah, I mean, that's the Final Fantasy 14 thing is there's little neighborhoods and you can go to the neighborhood and you can see everyone's houses you can go in some of them if they let you and sometimes they're amazing and sometimes they're creepy as hell and Sometimes you're like this is Fun I see this person's literally just storing their shit here Well, I saw they took a shot at Final Fantasy 2s

They're like you don't have to purchase it and wait for months or whatever. They're like everyone gets one Yeah, I'm I think The reason why they have a purchase so like in Final Fantasy 14 There's apartments and you don't have to like fight for people to get those they just exist You can have an apartment right you can store your stuff. So I mean like that's kind of The housing thing my curiosity. I don't know if you know the answer to this, is do they have different sizes of houses? Don't know yet.

I don't think they've showed off enough. Cause in Final Fantasy 14, the reason why there's, you know, purchasable things, cause there's different sizes. And so, you know, a giant house, there's only gonna be so many per server. And I think the reason why they have that fake cap on it is to make it so it's more exclusive, you know? And one of those things where if you really want a house, you have to pay for it, and then you have to maintain it.

If you don't, you lose your house. And I think on a, like, I don't want to say business level, but like a game logistics level, it makes sense to do that because you want people who have a house to make that house awesome and show stuff off in it to make those communities, those little neighborhoods seem more alive, right? Like it makes sense. However, I think much like, you know,

Blizzard trying to figure out if it should do housing or not, I don't particularly think that matters. Like those houses are still empty most of the time anyway in Final Fantasy 14. So yeah, these people got this giant house and they feel good they got the giant house, but no one's hanging out there. It's not like a big spot unless, you know, it's a community activity or a club or like sometimes in the game they'll make bars or dance parties or things and they'll have a DJ come and they'll play music from you know, something streamed into That's a whole thing that does happen in the Final Fantasy ecosystem. But at the end of the day

Yeah, everyone should just have a house, you know, it's really not I think lessons have been learned by by everyone here and wow like usual takes those lessons and says Alright, we're gonna do it our way now And then they come in they swoop it up steal it all and make it better every time without fail. That's just what they do across the board Well, I've even heard it has like some wild star elements, which medically makes sense They have some wild star people working there like yeah Yeah, I watched the video where it shows them sort of placing stuff and moving thing it is star elements, which makes sense, cause they have some wild star people working there. Like full moon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched the video where it shows them sort of placing stuff and moving things. It is exactly the kind of thing I've always wanted in WoW. I'm still in my holding pattern. I still don't know that the undermine or that first patch or the initial, none of it's really captured my interest in like, wow, they're really telling some great story story it still seems kind of like they're wrapping stuff up

and hinting the future will be awesome yeah I think so and I'm like hey I'll wait like I don't need to oh I'll wait I don't need to play this I'm watching all the scenes and stuff but the idea of housing it you know like having like a really cool troll hut house yeah for mojo maker I like have you know I'm thinking maybe maybe and you know there's people who make like tiny houses with a bunch of little mini things Yeah, oh, yeah, there's gonna be so much cool stuff Yeah, so I'll be neat. I will say with the goblin thing even though. I don't care as much about the story when I'm playing games it was fun to do like a

What would you call it? Like a story that doesn't revolve around gods or like crazy bosses and dragons and stuff. It was just like... The goblin people are getting screwed over. Can you help? And you're like, okay. But there, you know, there's like the influence of the gods and like the old... The blood and stuff like that, but it's...

It's more about the uprising, like take it over from the Bobby Code at Goblin. Right, I do think it's very, very funny that that is the plot, but at the same time it's like, Oh, geez! Xeladeth over there wants me to do this terrible stuff! It's like... Zell-a-tent over there wants me to do this terrible stuff. It's like Alright, okay. I don't understand why this like old god-coded villain would just be like yes the goblins I shall choose them as my minions like yeah, alright We had to wrap up that story, so that's fine

But also why like you have all these other ways of being evil and you're like no no no no no we're gonna take time with the goblins Like okay, all right. I'm fine with that choice, but Pardon me is like maybe they is a little Bobby Kotick metaphor in there right there overthrowing The galliwix Bobby Kotick I felt that a little bit the thing about it is it just reads to me like we The thing about it is it just reads to me like we promised to wrap up the story and so we're wrapping up everything and again Gallywix has not shown up in this game for I think a decade like dude was a big bad vanished Did nothing literally has like all these things

Going on it. He basically became the queen of Jara of, of, you know, the goblins where he's like, Oh, he's there though. He's there, but we're just not going to see him, but he's there, which now makes me think like they got to do an a jar of thing at some point where she comes back. So we'll see, we'll see what the vibe is, but they're definitely wrapping it stuff up. And I'm fine with that. I just want to know what their grand ending story is gonna be you know what I mean? All right? I got you mean I'll be back for like if it's a cool ass thing. I'll be back for it

I'll come back and play but right now. I'm like Nah, I already spent 14 bucks a month on a thing like I'm fine. Yeah, that's fair It's uh I mean. Yeah, it was pretty much just Gallywix being like, Hey, I got Zalatai feet pics and they're like, hey, give me those and then he's like nah, and then You know crazy shit happens. Yeah, that sounds exactly like it's pretty much what it was. Yeah I'm having a blast that the actual zones got so much cool stuff in it So it's like perfect for me like finding rats a lot of cool rats

Lot of cool rats dude a lot of cool rats Oh, yeah, then you have a story for me. I did I mean it's not as cool as rats, but I definitely did Oh by the way before I get into this uh I've been I mentioned this on GeekEnders, but I just want to bring it up here because it just got even better. All right, let me preface this by saying, no, not Civ 7, no, I'm not going to talk about Civ 7, I'm done talking about Civ 7. I'm going to preface this by saying, I do not endorse this game.

In fact, I endorse no mobile games. Do not consider what I'm about to say an endorsement endorse this game. In fact, I endorse no mobile games. Do not consider what I'm about to say an endorsement of this game. As an example, while playing it, I did PvP, and you can tell immediately when you're gonna lose because the guy you're facing off has like a brand new character with five stars, and you're like, all right, okay, all right,

this is trash. But I have been spending less and less time looking at, you know, Reddit and Twitter and BlueZ, like all those different places. I go on there, I post my stuff, maybe I'll look and see if anyone commented something, and then I'm out. So in order to fill that,

this is like when someone who's a smoker suddenly just starts eating a lot because they have that oral fixation. This is where I'm at, where I downloaded my first real true mobile game and the reason I downloaded it, and this is absolutely just, I'm calling myself out on this, is because I saw an ad for a sexy cat girl

and was like, that's the game for me. It didn't look too anime and it didn't look too booby. You know what I mean? Like there's mobile games where it's clearly designed to be like boobies, which are great. Love them, but not, you know, I want to be able to play things in public. You know, I don't want to be too embarrassed by what I'm playing. And so I downloaded AFK Journey and this game is a mobile game, right?

It is from top to bottom. It is actively trying to get you to buy things. I've actively been avoiding it, but it's still like, you know, this could be faster if you buy this and like, no, I don't want to. Anyway, there's a story in it, which I was not expecting a good story. I never am, especially with mobile game quality stuff. I'm like, Hey, and the first, you know, intro story that they give you is that it is not, is not good. It's like, let's go explore the world. Oh no, a witch burnt down this town.

We got to go find her. Like it's whatever. But a new season just started and they made a new story. And I don't know who is writing over there, but it is the most Jesse coated shit I've ever played in my entire life dude and it just keeps getting more Jesse coated so on Friday when I was talking with Dodger about this I brought up the fact that this new season has a plot that essentially is hey everyone we're going north to this winter festival and we're going to a town that literally feels like the town from Frozen.

One of the characters looks like one of the Frozen girls. Like it's just, you know, mobile game. So you go there and it's like, hey, let's have fun and do this celebration. We'll go to a dance and we'll, you know, do all the mini games. There's a bunch of mini games, like one's a snowball throwing contest and one's like an ice skating thing and you know you're doing it on your phone and you're

moving your finger around that kind of stuff but at night when you go to rest the very first night they're like welcome to the inn did you know we have a haunted house themed in this year and you're like what what does that have to do with the winter festival and they're like come on in you're like okay so you go into the haunted house and you get chased? What does that have to do with the winter festival? And they're like, come on in. You're like, okay. So you go into the haunted house and you get chased around by monsters. You have to avoid stuff. You have to collect items from this painting to like put the painting back together to solve the riddle.

And I was like, oh, this is, this is pretty fun. But then this monster shows up and chases you and you get out and you're like, whoa, that was crazy. Uh, and the woman who's running it, she's like, so did you enjoy it? All the employees there worked really hard. And you're like, yeah, no, it was great. Except that monster at the end was terrifying. She's like, monster at the end?

And you're like, huh, okay. So now I'm locked in. I'm like, something's going on. Something's happened in this story. So you go about, uh, the festival, you continue running around doing festival like things. out the festival you continue running around doing festival like things you go to this um dance party they're having like a big dance thing next to this bonfire and while you're there the princess this redheaded princess who's like the i'm so excited to be here like that character

a masked figure approaches her grabs her and is like you should be dead and i'm like what approaches her, grabs her and is like, you should be dead. And I'm like, what? And then runs off. I'm like, whoa, wait, what's happening? So then as you go through more of the festival, basically you have to collect, I think, like seven or eight petals on this stamp card. And whoever gets the most petals becomes the person

who lights the statue at the end and symbolizes the end of the festival and of course it's gonna be you because you're the main character of the story right anyway you do all this you light the statue everyone's like wow man what a great festival and then you go back to sleep except when you go back to the end this time it's the same haunted house in you have to do the same like all right let's go do the haunted house again except this time there's no one inside of it. The haunted house is, it's just an empty haunted house, which makes it kind of

creepier and you're like, what the, like you'll walk by the jump scares that got you before, except now there's nothing there. And I'm like, Oh, this is so interesting. What does that mean? You wake up the next day. They ask you, Hey, did you enjoy the haunted house? And you're like, yeah, except there was no one in there. Like, what are you talking about?

Like there was no one in the haunted house. And they're like, huh. They're like, well, all right, I guess we'll go. The festival's over. And they're like, the festival hasn't even started yet. What are you talking about? Dude, it's a time loop. Suddenly you're now trapped in a time loop.

And everyone else thinks the festival hasn't happened yet but you clearly went to the festival and I was like what is happening? So then as you keep time looping there are less and less people in town but more and more snowmen and I was like what what is the plot like I can't believe I'm playing this and they got they got me dude they got me so yesterday they another patch came out where they open up a new area and there's more snowmen and when you log into the game now and this is what I knew I was like they they ah damn it they really someone over there is is from the Jesse Cox

school of storytelling on the title, usually your characters are there dancing or doing something. Like there's one version where they're in a field and they are, you know, laughing and telling jokes. There's one version where for this event, they're all in front of the circle, like the plaza where the the festival is taking place. You know, two of the characters are building a snowman. One character's singing, I guess, like a Christmas hymn. I don't know. It's weird that we're having like a holiday themed thing right now. And then, uh, some of the other characters are playing on loots and it

plays this like very cute song. Except now when you log in that main screen is only snowmen and wind noise and there's a loot on the ground and when you press play it falls over and there's like dust comes off it I was like bro what is this I am in love with what they're doing again the mobile game itself is a mobile game it is still gonna be a shitty mobile game but this thing they're doing? I'm like... Yeah, yeah, this is right up my alley. This is exactly... I don't know if I just picked the right game or if the game picked me.

I don't know what the choi- but I've been obsessively playing this. How long? Like how long every night do you play this or day? Um, I'll just let you know that I know everything resets at 5 p.m So immediately at five i'll be like Start spamming all the different things to do. Uh, I would say in a given day. I probably spend an hour playing That's not too bad I mean i'm not buying anything so i'm limited by what I can do So there's a lot of things where it's very clear that if I was stronger, I could do them more effectively.

But there's like raid bosses and things, and they'll kick my ass. And then at the end it will be like, if you were this much stronger, and then they'll give you something to push on to literally just buy it. I'm like, no, no, I'll slowly get there, don't worry. So I'm not, like, there's an arena mode.

And in the arena mode, it lets you challenge different people. Like you can be like, oh, that person's number 200 and I'm number 1000 or whatever. But if I beat them, I become 200 and they become 1000. Right. And so I was like, oh, man, I'm actually really good at this. So I was playing, I was doing great. And then I hit sub 200 and now I can't go anywhere. I'm stuck. Everyone who is that, like some of it requires skill,

it requires placement of what you wanna do. There's traps and things you can do in the battle that will change that. So if you know how to fight, you can kinda, you know, fake your way to the top now that I'm at That sub 200 which the top 200 people on my server nah I go in there and they're all like five star characters I saw one guy had a character that just came out a week ago

max level five star and he just one shot me and I was like All right, so I'm not gonna get any higher than what I am now, but I'm fine with that. I don't care that much, but um Yeah, I'm thoroughly impressed. It's again the writing's not like the greatest writing in the world But the fact that they're doing a thing in a mobile game. I'm like, okay. I like this I like what you're doing and it's better than going on Twitter and getting mad. Yes That is exactly the reason why. I'm not furious at the world. I'm amazed by a weird story happening in a game

that I did not expect it to. I think maybe that's why I enjoy it so much. Yeah. At least you found something. That's like when they tell you,, you know, just keep looking and you'll find the right person. That happened with the mobile game for you. Yeah, and it was because I fell in love with the, I assume, perverted cat girl.

It was great. Yeah, really, that is what brought you in. It absolutely, look, a stacked, stacked furry got me. I can't even lie. Uh, but, what's funny about is my team is like, like my character looks like a hippie. I dressed them all in flowers and like loose clothes. And then his team is a bunch of forest people. So my tank is a cat girl with a shield and spear and she looks like a lioness maybe. I don't know. And then my top DPS is another cat girl,

except she's wearing like a bodysuit. And then my range character is like a rabbit girl on top of a deer, sure. And then it's just like a rabbit girl, but she rides a deer. Like that's her thing. She has a mount. And then I have a fox girl. It's so funny in a game that has tons of human and undead. For

some reason I have all of these like animal girls. My furry is showing apparently and but she's just really powerful and they these here's the thing these aren't characters that I selectively picked. They're just the strongest characters I have and so I'm like I gotta use them. And then my healer is this little tiny, I don't even know what I would call her, like sprite girl and she's so small she hides under a leaf. What? That's she has a leaf she hides under a leaf that's how small she is it's very cute. And so that's my team and I'm getting my ass crushed by like a team that I fought the other day this guy had like a demon man who split into two demons a

like Sorcerer who made a giant black hole that instantly killed me a giant Undead pirate that when he does his ultimate a cannon fires like five shots at you all these cool things And I'm like go get them Leaf girl, and she's like all I do is heal like okay cool So yeah, I don't expect to be good at this at all, but it's a fun diversion That's uh it's like when I played a ton of that magic set that came out the bloom burrow one was all animals

Oh, it's very cute. Yeah, yeah I was easily my favorite set I drafted it so much. I played it a ton, and they're like here's like vampire Space or some shit, and I was like I don't care anymore Yeah, bring back the animals. I did see the spongebob ones, and they're hilarious, and I love them I haven't even seen the spongebob one I think they're they do like the What do you call it like releases for different? Media type thing like they have their official releases and then like side release. Yes

This is definitely like a goofy side thing because most of them are just silly. Yeah it's I haven't seen any of it but definitely give it a look you'll laugh they're pretty funny all right yeah check that out wait hold on what do they do oh they got dragons in April that'll be fun I like dragons yeah I'm excited because this summer is the Final Fantasy one so I can't wait to see what they do with it because like what do you even do at the end is my dream is to make the most over-the-top ridiculous deck that is like Final

Fantasy Street Fighter Spongebob Assassin's Creed like all of the ones people like why I want that I want to make one goofy deck that's uh the thing is like I love drafting too much because I don't know I just I like drafting because it gets a little more Fair maybe not fair. I think you know what it's the RNG element Sure sure you love that stuff. I just love RNG and that's adding it evens the playing field a bit So you don't have to play like sweat Lord's insane deck. He's built up So I I'm the opposite I want to make my insane deck he's built up. So. I'm the opposite. I want to make my insane deck, but I never want to play it. Because in my mind, when I play it, that's when I figure

out it's not that insane and actually sucks. So I don't want that. I just want to make a deck that logistically could be the greatest deck ever made, and spiritually is hilarious because it's a bunch of terrible cards put together that make something amazing but I never want to test that because when you test it really it's the randomness of the draw and so your awesome deck that you think might be awesome actually may suck because of randomness yeah that's how you kind of counter it with getting card draw cards yeah yeah yeah well I don't well there you go what you're doing is like everything. I did in Hearthstone. I'd be like let's go

I'm gonna build everything around two cards, and I'd be like alright. We didn't get those cards I Try again. Just keep going until you get it, but when you get it. That's just hilarious. Yeah Yeah, uh-uh I was gonna say I have another thing for you. That's what I was going to ask about. Is this the thing you were prepping? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. So this past week, my sleep schedule has been just, I've had to wake up early every day this past week, like 6 a.m. early. So my sleep schedule has, I mean like everything from I had to take a call early to my apartment complex was cleaning the garage

and so they were like, hey man, everyone's got to be out by 8 a.m. to clean on Wednesday. And I was like, all right, well, I got to be out by 8, so I I gotta be up at six. And so, just one of those. But in order to get to bed, I've not been looking at my phone after a certain time, and I will turn on YouTube and watch different things. Well, I guess listen to is a better way to describe it. Like I went down the rabbit hole first from listening to Games Done Quick to then listening

to like really, I guess it's called unintentional ASMR, where it's things that aren't ASMR but they like kind of are. So a great one is this guy did 1.5 hours gem store compilation and it's just this dude showing off the gems in his gem store. Oh, I see. This one right here was crafted by a fine artisan. It's made of a gate and is good for the soul. That was perfect. I love this guy. So that knocked me out.

But anyway, I think cause I watched, I think I watched that two nights in a row cause they didn't get through all of it. Obviously I fell asleep, but because I did that, my algorithm is giving me some of the most insane ASMR. You know, most ASMR is like, hello, I'm talking like this. Or the finger snap ones or the weird mouth ones that are definitely sexual, that kind of thing.

But now my timeline, my feed is insane ASMR. And I don't know what brought this on, but I went through it and I wrote down some just for you. My thought on this, because most of them appear to be from channels that started in 2020 or around then during COVID, my thought is ASMR as a whole is kind of oversaturated, right? There's just so many people doing the exact same ASMR,

the exact same thing. There's just so many of them that I feel like people are trying to come up with ways to stand out. And those ways, as far as I'm aware, have morphed consistently. Be it, you know, when it first started, if you were just beautiful enough ASMR you were killing it but now beauty isn't doing it for you I do gotta

do more so then it became like the mouth noises and there's a little sexual thing there and then it became things like suit fitting and then it became things like inappropriate suit you know like that kind of stuff all right and it kept getting more and more over the top and now I think we finally hit peak insane And this might be while not my thing something. I am greatly interested in watching develop so these are some titles of ASMR that have just I assume come from the fact that people need to stand out more and it has to get very much like MrBeast videos

where he has to do more and more and more or all those videos where it's like, I'm in a forest with dead people or whatever. It just gets more over the top. This is that. These are so good. The first video I saw was castrating your boyfriend. ASMR castrating your boyfriend.

All right. The next one I saw was crazy BFF kidnaps you And I was like how is this good ASMR the next one. I saw was Peppa Pig there's something in your eye, and it's a woman dressed like Peppa Pig That is That is You know it really feels like people have run out of content I'm saying dude is that it feels like they're at the bottom of the barrel like I gotta come up with something One of them is a girl literally dressed as that penguin zero guy And it's her just doing to doing that

Penguin zero. I don't know. He has a name, but I don't know what it is. I don't know his real name. I can't remember. I'm not plugged in. Um, there's one where a guy it's called massage with fire and he's doing a massage on a man, but with a lighter, like what? Um, one is called you're sitting next to the hot Cheeto girl in school Yep one is called got any earwax for me I don't like this one is called dentist steals your teeth

That's a good one. I like though, and then then my favorite one, because it has 27 million views, Lord Farquad does your makeup. And it's a woman in like full on Lord Farquad mask and outfit. It is, I will never watch these, because it doesn't

ring as good watching to me, but I am obsessed with the fact that they exist and I will keep looking up more of them because I can't believe that this it feels the same way as when game youtubers are like you've all played Red Dead Redemption but have you ever played Red Dead Redemption upside down while walking 80 miles and you're like no no, did you? And like, that's my new video. It's like, oh, okay.

Everything has to be a gimmick now. Like that's how you sell your stuff. And clearly ASMR is there. It took five years, but we are finally here. We finally hit peak ASMR has run out of things to ASMR and we're getting real aware of it and frankly I love it this is probably the time I should start doing ASMR I would thrive on this but you really should

it's just I'm already doing too much can't keep adding on more stuff that's true, that's true we do too much as is but my goodness I'm adding, finding more wacky ASMR to my to-do list for sure. I decided to go to my home page. I do not have any wacky ASMR. Maybe I...

That's because you didn't spend multiple nights watching a man count gemstones. That you know what? That'll do it. Yeah, just look up unintentional ASMR gemstone and you'll probably see that guy. It says like one comma five, I think it's supposed to be 1.5, our video. The guy's like, this is my gemstone store.

Lots of gemstones are here. The best part is... Is he this bald guy? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, there he is. The best part is, the gems he goes over, he talks about the different people who make them. He's like, this is an exclusive necklace that we have. And it might be one of the ugliest necklaces I've ever seen. It's like, looks like a 30 pound stone on a necklace.

I'm like, who would wear that? This looks like the shit that we'd find in like antique stores in the Wisconsin Dells on vacation. When I was like 13 years old. I'm pretty sure it might be. It probably is. Also, I like how his thing is a sloth. I again, watched that video at least two times. So it definitely screwed up my algorithm, but I don't care.

It was worth it. It made me laugh very hard. Here's an unintentional ASMR sword smith presents his Bronze Age swords. See, that's what I'm into now. I'm into things that aren't really ASMR, but it's just someone being like, I talk like I'm on now I'm into things that aren't really ASMR, but it's just someone being like I Talk like I'm on NPR

And I dig it knocks me out. It's it's the same thing with them. I Think that's kind of the deal with Bob Ross He wasn't ASMR, but it definitely made me fall asleep as a kid. Oh, yeah, it's definitely Bob Ross's thing He really he was probably one of the first ones to do unintentional asmr, and I love it Yeah to this day Bob Ross still can knock me out Can I say? There is one called glue man Unintentional ASMR loop heavy breathing and mouth sounds Nope ASMR loop heavy breathing and mouth sounds mmm nope so this man just like painting

or using so much glue is like sinuses are fried he's just like I don't know when you say glue man now my assumption is sticking glue up his nose and he's gluing his nose shut hence the mouth sounds I'm like I don't know what's going on over there I don't even want to look this up because my

algorithms already a mess It looks like he's got a jar of glue Jar of glue and he's putting it on a piece of paper fabric. I don't know what he's got and He is doing the thing or he just keeps putting the glue on it, but he's like Like he's struggling, I don't know if it's the glue on it but he's like like he's struggling I don't know if it's the glue someone said was looking for blue man group but happy to have found glue man instead I don't even know dude

well you know what else I enjoy listening to who boy my dulcetone I promote our Well, you know what else I enjoy listening to? Oh boy, my dulcet tones as I promote our sponsors? Why of course, you know that Hero Forge is all in on the customizable tabletop minis, but now your D&D campaign can be kicked up to a whole new level with Hero Forge Custom Dice. That's why we're directing you over to their crowdfunding Kickstarter for brand new custom dice using the same process as their color printed minis.

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crendor code crendor for 20% off meundies comfort from the outside in. Alright let's go to Trump's house and get some of the other crendor guys and traffic out there. Traffic's a little crazy right now because there's tornadoes and shit happening I don't know what's going on out there but but uh Yeah, there's a lot of those. There's also Looks like a big backup down at the old saloon I

Don't know I said that I just I like the word saloon to be honest back to you Thanks, Cran door you like the word saloon. Yeah, like the old timey saloon. Have you ever been to a saloon? I don't know. What's the, what makes a saloon a saloon? I imagine you have to go through the, in my mind, a saloon can be any building as long as you have to go through those swinging double doors. Yeah, I always think of those as well.

You have to have those. It just says a saloon is a public room or building used for a specified purpose. Right, but it needs to have swinging. You are not a saloon if you don't have swinging double doors. You might be a bar or a meeting house or anything, but you're in no saloon. You have to have those doors. Yeah, in that case, I've probably been to a couple saloons. I would love to go to a saloon you have to have those doors yeah in that case I've been I've probably been to a couple saloons I would love to go to a saloon with you something about that says you walk in you're like give me a sarsaparilla and they're like you

sure you want that city slicker and you'll be like I said what I'll say it and they'll be like all right take a seat over there, and then you sit down like a bunch of guys come over They want to play poker with you, and you're like There's like a guy in the corner, and he's like I don't like these out-of-towners And there's gotta be a woman with one of those handheld fans fanning herself Like oh my this stranger is so interesting oh my this stranger is so interesting yeah be fun yeah be fun that's the traffic all right

let's go to weather weather time we got weather requests i'm gonna hold the thing down Okay We have landed on Long Beach, Washington You know what not where I thought not right that long beach. I was like California. Nope, Washington Okay Vacation site for many people in Washington was nice spot to go during the summer until Airbnbbnbs and private equity bought up many houses. That sounds right.

That's like everywhere. Always remember Jake the Alligator Man, a local legend. Allegedly, he was found on the beach just hanging out and is a real alligator man. Allegedly, he now resides in a tourist trap museum and gift shop. One of my favorite restaurants is Moe's. They have nice clam chowder, bread bowl with fries and shrimp. That sounds like a north western beach thing. Yeah, that sounds very north western beach.

Gotta get your clam chowder and shrimp on the beach. Long Beach, 48 degrees. Feels like 46 degrees 725 a.m. sunrise 723 p.m. sunset 5 mile an hour winds no UVs pressure 29.76 73% humidity 10 miles of visibility and a waning gibbous moon. Monday, a.m. showers, 49. Tuesday, 51 a.m. showers. Wednesday, 50 rain. Wow, literally every day is just 50s with rain.

Welcome to Washington. Looking at Long Beach, I noticed something, and it's not important, but I noticed something that makes me laugh. Long Beach is, boy, I'm gonna say, boy, I can't do the math on this. Let's say a hundred miles. I don't know from Seattle. Right. It is. It's not close by, but it's not far away. And there's not really much. There's like wildlife refugees and, and, and parks and things.

So it's kind of in the middle of nowhere. It definitely is a tourist trap place. There's a lot of, it's like one big road with a bunch of housing off that big road. But for some reason, there's just churches here too. And I get, you know, if there are people, you know, if you're religion, you put a church there, but something about the idea of building a church in an area where there aren't that many people, right near the beach, like right near the beach, to me screams, guys, I got a great idea for our church.

We're gonna build it on the beach. Don't ask why, we're just gonna build it there. And every day that we're not in church, we're going to the beach, boys. Like, it just seems like that. It does. There's like, what if we had beach church? not in church we're going to the beach boys like it just seems like that it does there's like what if we had Beach Church everyone's like dude yeah yeah like it was a necessary no is it hilarious absolutely there's also a place called Gulletti's spaghetti uh I hope it's good Gullulletti's Spaghetti House.

I'm trying to find what was the restaurant that we were told had the chowder? I think it was Moe's. I haven't seen Moe's. I found the Kraken Cafe. Yeah, I see Chen's. That's not Moe's. Maybe it's on the water and not on big street oh yeah maybe B&D's food hut it's so it's so funny that all these restaurants when you look at the inside of them they I under like I know Washington when you get outside of the big cities, has like a rural vibe,

but these scream Midwestern small town. They really do. Every restaurant looks like a building that they just put tables in. Like none of them have a restaurant feel, you know? It just looks like they just threw tables in a room and said it's a restaurant and the food looks good, but just the decor screams screams we're in Kansas. It is it feels more like in the middle of

Washington than like coastal Washington. Yes absolutely yeah it feels like it should be nowhere near the beach but again I guess the question is is it really a beach beach if it's Washington like you get maybe three months out of the year, you can go there. Unless you like rain beaches. Yeah, unless you like rain beaches, in which case it's the best. It's you know, it's one of those things where I used to love the rain. I still love the rain, but now I appreciate some sunny days. I used to be like, ah, whatever.

And now I buy it now I like the variety. I still like my rainy days and I don't like overcast. I just like either it's got to be doing something like rain or snow or it's got to be sunny. The only kind of weather I like is when it's doing something. Overcast is like it's trying to do something but it's not it's like pick one right it's just sitting there it's like you're gonna rain or you're gonna let the Sun come out and it's like oh no I'm gonna do neither like partly cloudy that's fine but just overcast like a heavy overcast I hate it. I realize that we moved on to talking about what weather

you love but I must stress if we were ever to talking about whether you love, but I must stress, if we were ever to go to Long Beach, Washington, I would need to go to the Pacific Coast Cranberry Research Foundation and Museum with you. An entire 11.15 acres of cranberries, plus a museum dedicated to cranberry history, I would love to go to this. Dude, yeah, there it is. Cranberry Museum. Cranberries are grown in peat or sandy soil. Cranberries grow on vines, not bushes. Cranberries require protection from frost, heat, insects, and disease. That's a sign at the Cranberry

Museum. The best part is the cranberry museum straight just looks like a dude's house. Oh yeah, it does. I love this. And they are. Oh my god, then you can buy a bunch of cranberry stuff at the cranberry museum? Do they have cranberry museum tours? I would need that.

100%, they gotta have it. Cranberry, they're an ocean spray cranberry grower. Okay, so they're working for big ocean spray yeah maybe I have to that's how you get out yeah I was about to ask how many people actually buy cranberries yeah I don't know well I mean you can there you can buy oh you can buy you can buy frozen cranberries that are dated wait like wines this one is a 2022 cranberry interesting my favorite cranberry vintage of 2022 I feel like cranberries me like holidays right like Christmas mainly Thanksgiving I'll drink cranberry juice just to drink it cuz it's like

good for your you know insights yeah. I'm looking at, uh, they got cranberry t-shirts. Oh, I buy a cranberry tour t-shirt in a heartbeat. Oh yeah. That'd be a good one. Take. Yeah. It's the walking tour on the working cranberry farm. Oh, this one's a self guided though. The self guided tour will take you through the middle of the farm about one and a half mile round trip walk between the evergreen huckleberry hedge, follow something down the dyke road and back.

Like, okay. Yeah, I'd rather have a tour guide like Curtis the cranberry man. Yeah, I want like some guy who's like, I worked in cranberry for 42 years. I'd love to have him talk to me. Oh, cranberry wine? Bro. 100% cranberry fruit, tasty local cranberries, this delightful cranberry wine combined sweet with tart. Start sweet and then get, I'd have to try it. It's 22 bucks, but I'd have to try it. I'd try it, but I know I'd hate it. Oh I would it sounds perfect for me. The

best part of the photos of there's one photo if you keep scrolling down photo by I'm gonna give credit to Anthony Powell who took this photo eight months ago it's a photo of what I assume is gonna be his dad it's somewhat some older man intently staring at the way my dad reads the little cards next to museum things This guy's doing that but it's a wall about cranberries and it's that kind of thing that I'm here for that's what I want to Do I want to be that guy who's reading every factoid about cranberries? What the hell they have a cranberry laboratory what the hell is that what are you doing there? experiments Okay, touche you're right What the hell they have a cranberry laboratory? What the hell is that? What are you doing there? Experiments.

Okay, Touche, you're right. You gotta figure stuff out. Experiments, experiments. You answered so quickly. Well, yeah, experiments. They have homemade cranberry ice cream? Come on now. Get yourself a cranberry ice cream,

glass of cranberry wine, and go for a walk in the cranberry tour That's a lot it might be too much cranberries No, dude. This is how many times your life you're ever gonna experience a full day of cranberries never never happening This is a unique experience. I would love to do this. That's fair enough That's the weather oh Okay... That's the weather. Oh! Okay! Let's go to sports. Sports.

Oh yeah, March Madness happening this week. Yep. So that'll be fun. Uh, fill out your brackets. Or don't. Or don't. Uh, you got the NBA. Pretty much nothing has changed.

The Thunder are at the top. The Cavaliers are at the top. Yep. The NHL, you got your Capitals in first, and the Jets in first. Really, it's just waiting for the playoffs, unless you're one of those teams fighting for the eighth seed or something and then baseball spring trainings going and

Opening day is actually getting pretty close. So that'll be fun and A lot of NFL free agency stuff that's been fun Because I always keep up on all that a lot of wacky wild moves going on all over Aaron Rogers still deciding Where he's gonna go? Or if he'll retire as we'll find out that sports I Heard Gardner Minshew is moving again Um, I guess oh yeah backup now. He's been a backup kind of but he's gonna know no no like like Like but one of the good ones. Oh Yeah, he's he's a top tier backup. Yeah, like the best backup. Yeah, and he's going to the chiefs, so that's yes

That'll be interesting if Patrick my homes ever gets hurt. I mean Gardner I'm not saying take him out, but It's your chance, but it's your chance this take him out but it's your chance bud it's your chance that's it now that would get me to cheer for the Chiefs for a bit at least yeah at least one game yeah mm-hmm that's sports okay what is our fact of the day a chicken once lived for 18 months without its head. What? Yeah. I mean I've heard chicken with a head cut off bit but like what? With help, right? Surely. Mike the chicken and his incredible feet was recorded back in the 40s. He survived as his jugular vein and most of his brain

stem were left mostly intact ensuring just enough brain function remained for survival. In the majority of cases, a headless chicken dies in minutes. Huh. How? How much of his head was actually left? Where's the cutoff point? This is...

You shouldn't tell me stuff like this. This is how I end up being a villain. The first thing I thought of was, well, have we tested it it again which I realized means have we just decapitated a bunch of chickens which is crazy but I was like well surely we've tested it because it's been so long surely someone would have which again insane apparently he was fed with an eyedropper through the stump of his neck. What the hell? That's crazy. Why would they do that?

I don't know, that is crazy. Maybe they just tried to kill him and he survived and they're like, shit dude, let him keep going. Yeah, I mean surely at some point they were like, we have to see how long we can keep him going. Probably, that's a pretty long time. Yeah, that's That's crazy That is crazy

Well there's your fag There it is all right does anyone come to us with tears in their eyes Dear illustrious sirs they come to you with tears my eyes and diced up onion to the side If you had to change something in the other's life that's really minor but would irrationally irritate them, what would it be? It's really minor, but would... Alright, originally, the minor thing is the problem, because I was going to say your new job is you have to travel, but that's not minor. That is huge. Yeah, that's a major thing. This is like a little pet peeve type thing. Mm-hmm. Minor, minor, minor. You have loud neighbors.

That, you know, that probably would be an annoying thing. I think that's a good one. For you especially. Yeah, yeah. Just loud enough to be a a hindrance but not loud enough to like be constant right like loud neighbors that only are loud when you're trying to record something or sleep yes well I wouldn't do that to you that seems like yeah that's that's like a little minor inconvenience it's when because for most people it wouldn't matter but but for you because you have to record, they just be in the background like,

bong, bong, bong, like hitting something or doing something, and then the minute you stop, they're quiet again. You just like keep recording like, oh my God. Like, all right, fine, yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. All of mine involved your routine. It would be something like you have to you

don't have like the ability to get food out like coffee out or anything you have to make it that would be a minor annoyance but I would not have a problem with it I'd be like that's what I was thinking I was like I think you'd get used to it so I was like maybe not that one It's a minor annoyance cuz sometimes I'm like man I just want to go get a coffee not make a coffee cuz when I say get a coffee I mean like a latte not like a black cup of sludge that I then drink Yeah Or I cannot and will not learn to make a latte. It's just not happening

or it have to be something like You don't get to use your calendar oh I would fall apart that would be that is the you flying of my life. I would crumble That's true. I would be like I don't know what is happening anymore. That's true. I might be too intense I would fall apart it uh Billy Let's true I might be too intense I would fall apart it'd be like let's see I know I'd have to be something like every time you put away your car keys had to be like under your couch in a box so every time you had to

go outside you had to go under the couch get the box take the keys out and you'd be like why this is so dumb and annoying why do I have to do this I would hate you for that if that's what I had to do I'd be like why is it always under here yeah so that's all I got probably something like that mm-hmm I like it yeah all right let's see the

next one dear illustrious sirs I write with tears in my eyes for the thought of wasting either of your valuable time bring Good good What's a bad movie you think is good and a good movie you think is bad? Oh first off a Bad movie. I think is good Jupiter ascendingcending. Hands down, that movie I love. I don't care that it sucks, I love that movie. That's an easy one for me.

I would say, my problem is I don't watch a lot of movies, but... That means you probably have a few that are terrible that you love. I would say that a movie that I don't like but others do, and I think it's because I can't suspend disbelief, but that movie, A Quiet Place. I don't know what that is. It's a movie where if you make a noise, monsters kill you, so everyone's quiet.

Oh yeah. And there's just like so, my brain can't unn nitpick the plot holes There's things in that movie that make no. I'm like why would you do that? How does that none of that makes sense? So that's just kind of where I'm and then I made a sequel the sequel made even less sense to me I guess I can say a lot of Nick Cage movies That mean that sounds right But then right but then what would be a good movie I think is bad who the avatar movies are another one that I'm like no I don't get it but people love those

movies there's a lot of Marvel movies that I'm like like there's I like some Marvel movies but I like current Marvel I just don't really care for. That's a solid answer. I can agree that a lot of people are like, no I don't get Marvel. Makes sense to me. But I like the original like Iron Man 1, you know? Like I like those, but it's just... I don't know. All the current ones ones Just can't get into it. Yeah, especially since the current ones are like you need to know information to enjoy this yeah, and that's Definitely not up my alley There we go all right

What is our big news story of the day? big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Man accused of swallowing 770,000 worth of diamonds from Florida Tiffany's.

Whoa! What? You know what? I was going to say why, but I bet drugs were involved, but please let me know. Khhhhh! Uhhh, talk about taking a bite out of crime. Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho February 28th. Whoa whoa whoa! His name's Jaython. If your name is Jaython, you were set up by your parents for this kind of life.

Yeah that's... Jaython? That sounds like a League of Legends character. That's terrible. Jaython. Jason, sure. Jace, yeah okay we're getting out there. Jaython? Just making up name. We're allowed to do that? We can just make stuff up? Fine, okay. Jace, yeah, okay, we're getting out there. Jathan, just making up names. We're allowed to do that? We can just make stuff up? Fine, okay. It's like they're gonna go with Jason

and they're like, what if we just add a little character? Yeah, what if we made it fun? That poor kid. Everywhere he went, they're like, Jason, Jason, it's like, it's Jathan. And then every kid in school made fun of him. Mm-hmm. Terrible.

Uh, arrested February 28th in connection with a robbery two days earlier at Tiffany & Co. at a local mall. According to the arrest, he was there to negotiate a purchase for an unnamed Orlando Magic player. What? What? This is so much deeper than I thought it was. Yeah, I don't even know. Why would they go to him? He's obviously on drugs. Glider was then taken to a private room and shown a diamond ring.

And two sets of diamond earrings all worth five hundred eight seven thousand six hundred nine thousand hundred sixty thousand a piece The Afi davit states Afi davit Afi davit But during a discussion about using a wire transfer to purchase the jewels He jumped out of his seat grabbed the jewelry and ran to the door Oh God the jewels, he jumped out of his seat, grabbed the jewelry, and ran to the door. Oh god, dude, my nasal drip is dripping. This is what I talked about. As he attempted to leave the VIP room by violently pushing and pulling the doors open, Glider got into a scuffle with an employee who knocked the ring from his hand. Glider still had earrings when he was able to elude the store employee to get out of the store and get away car in the parking lot.

Detectives were able to identify the vehicle, stop him on the interstate, and then noticed he didn't have his rear lights on. What allegedly happened next seems hard to swallow. Uh huh, I was waiting for this. Yeah. Yep. When taken into custody, he resisted arrest and was seen swallowing several objects. It states that a body scan showed foreign objects in his body, and they will have to be analyzed after passing through his system to see if they are diamonds. According to the Afi David, Glider asked his jailers,

am I gonna be charged with what's in my stomach? I just don't understand the why. I guess to hide evidence but they saw like what the thought was if I swallow these diamonds they won't find them on me. And then I'll just poop them out later and you can just clean up a diamond, I guess. Is the vibe? I guess. He then also said I should have thrown them out the window when he was in the back of a patrol car. I mean, that is the he should have done that.

He should have put him in a bag, tossed him out the window somewhere and been like, I don't have don't have them I don't know what you're talking about officer and then gone back later to get them yeah but they probably would have seen him do that too I mean the guy was screwed no matter what but like I'm just trying to give options that don't involve shit and diamonds yeah although you can now say that's what you've done if someone says what you shit money like yeah, dude Is charged with one count of grand theft in the first degree in robbery with a mask USA Today reported He's been accused of similar robberies in the past in 2002 In Texas he also tried to go to a Tiffany and co and had 48 failure to appear warrants in Colorado yeah I mean the guy screams I've done this before so one might even

say 48 times poor Jayson it's all good that name yeah he was destined for this life of crime yeah you're not gonna meet a to meet a, like, Jathan attorney at law. That's not happening. And even if you did, nobody's going to go with him. Yeah. I'm not going to show up to court with my life on the line. It's like, is your attorney present? Yes, Jathan is here.

It's like, Jason? His name's Jathan? Yes, sir, my name is Jason this case is over we're tossing this out none of you are serious yeah yeah so that's that's a lesson everyone name your kids not Jason yeah there you go not Jason all right that's it for us thanks for

listening watching I'm enjoying this podcast. Cranador, hit em with the socials! Folks, we have socials. YouTube.com slash Cox and Cranador podcast. That's where you can comment your dear illustrious sir, your weathers, your... I guess that's it. You can comment something. Uh, hit the bell, subscribe, be alerted when these go live. Also, youtube.com such cox and crendor, that's the animation website. We also have YouTube, or wait, we also have Spotify. We also got Median, we also got iTunes. Dude, I have so much post-nasal drip right now.

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