Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 460 - Paddington Justice

Episode Date: March 30, 2025

The boys are back and this time Jesse gets lost and finds himself in an alternate reality Los Angeles. Meanwhile Crendor can't handle these bad drivers. But nothing is quite as bad as people who mess with our boy Paddington!!! Go to http://shopmando.com and use code CRENDOR to get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off).

Today's episode is brought to you by Mando. Mando is going to get you smelling real good. And let's jump into this podcast! Hello everybody, welcome to every little cacks and quendor in the morning! Ohhhhh. Ohhhhh. Oh yes. Ohhhhh. Yes.

Oh yes. Oh yes. This is what the people tuned in for. Us just saying oh yes over and over and over again other we always say that but like there's got to be a one time where we just take a bit and just run with it for as long as possible I hope that's the case I hope there's someone out there who is like guys just

do it let's see what happens oh yeah it would probably be terrible but it'd be kind of funny for like a little bit But then it would hit a point where it'd be like all right there really come in this is getting funny And then it would stop being funny. I don't know I feel like there's that weird threshold where if the bit keeps going it Suddenly becomes funny again Are you leaving what I was closing the window. Oh, I thought you were just walking away Yeah, I was like, oh, okay gave up this show. I understand that I get it. Yeah

So how's your life dude, um Absolute insanity happening over here in the the Cox world like actual insanity Um something akin to it. Very, very close. So there someone in our office complex, I have no answers for you. I do not understand. I do not know why someone in the complex, I guess has like an infestation of something. Oh, I don't know what. So they had to close down the entire complex to fumigate.

Oh, and so they booted us out of the office on Thursday and we're not allowed to come back till tomorrow till Monday and The entire time I was just like, okay. Well, what am I gonna? What am I gonna do with my life? So I came back to my apartment and I'm in streaming from here, which has been fine It's been one of those crazy like crazy sub weekends on Twitch so that's been fine I have no problem with that but I've I've had so many free hours in the day cuz I I'm I'm done with all my major projects at the moment and the thing that's going up

Monday is already done and so I was just like I guess I'll I don't know so I just went on a walk and He's walking With no purpose mind you usually if I'm going to walk somewhere, I'm gonna walk somewhere Nope, just with zero purpose went for a walk and discovered weird areas around me I found I don't know how to describe this to you it almost like a Stepford wife area where there's a bunch of homes, but in the middle of those homes is a square, like a public square, and around it are buildings that look real.

Dude, I don't even know how to describe this to you. It looks almost like a movie set where it doesn't seem like it's real life, but in it is a coffee place, an ice cream place, like an Italian restaurant, a post office, like all these weird, they, it doesn't look real. You can definitely go in them and they definitely seem real, but the whole thing has a movie quality to it where the facades of all the buildings look like it's 1926 and all the homes around it are very modern but then you hit this area and it just seems out of time and I don't I don't know why that is so I went home and looked it up thinking oh maybe it's just a historical district no not even remotely it was

built in 2017 I don't understand why it looks like this. And the crazy thing is it was Friday afternoon. No one was around. It was empty. I was the only person walking around. Which made it even more weird because there was a restaurant completely open, no one in it.

There was an ice cream parlor with a dude standing there hoping to serve someone ice cream. No one there. There were no cars. There were no people, there were no like, people with strollers, no one was running, there was nothing. I have no idea what this place is. I almost felt like I walked onto a movie set by accident. Was the guy selling ice cream even real?

You know, I didn't go in, so maybe not, but he looked real because he didn't seem like he wanted to be there. Okay, yeah, that checks out. Unless he's really good at acting. He seemed pretty bored. Yeah, he was like behind the counter, he was sitting there like flicking a card, you know, like one of those standee cards that is like, get our new flavor! He was flicking it as I walked by and I was like, uh-huh. Maybe all the people that live there just work all the time. So they're not home. Maybe, but then why put that very, like it isn't, there's no grocery store.

There was a bunch of like businesses, like one was a lawyer, one was a real estate agent. But also, let me just stress this. There was no one there. They have windows, you can see inside the this. There was no one there. They have windows. You can see inside the things there was, there was no one there. I don't know if they were in the back hiding. Everybody's just hiding. Yeah. Maybe I walked in there and they were just like, Nope, not going to deal with this guy.

That's it was a, it was a strange experience. I'm not even sure that it really happened. I'll be honest. It felt so surreal. I Walked my I looked around and left You may have imagined everything. I Mean, I definitely my steps are recorded on my phone. So I definitely did it but I don't know dude I it was very strange. I was not a fan of it so I don't know dude. It was very strange. I was not a fan of it. So Did you literally only see one person? There had to be somebody else. I saw the kid at the ice cream store

And then I saw either like a busboy or a waiter in the Italian restaurant But I saw no one else other than that not even like a cedar You know how cedar is a weird word, but like the host or the maitre d. No one was there. There was no one eating outside. And it was, I don't know, sometime in the afternoon. No one was eating outside. No one was doing anything. It was very strange. It does sound kind of like an LA place that would exist though. Like if this was anywhere else, I'd be kind of freaked out. But since it's LA, I'm like this has to be, it's got to have some purpose. Right?

Well, it's weird because the area that I'm in, as I mentioned before, has all these cool things and walking distance, but that's if you go one direction. This was, I decided to go the other direction and I saw it from far away. I was like, Oh wait, there's a whole other area to go shopping and do things and like buy stuff. That's crazy.

I had no idea it's over here. Nope. Nope. That's just not the case. I mean, admittedly the area I'm in also has, if I go to the place where everything's at, there is, I guess they built a mall, assuming people would go to the mall, but because it doesn't look like a mall, it just looks like an office building.

There's shops and stuff in there, but there's no people. I mean, that's less surprising because there's plenty of dead malls. Yeah, that makes sense to me. What's in there right now is a bunch of ghost kitchens. Oh yeah. So there's a taco place in there, there's an ice cream place, there's like a coffee shop and yeah, they have a storefront, but really they're just, you know, Uber or whatever

ghost kitchens. I think we did an entire episode on that. Yeah, and that makes sense to me because it was built right, this whole area was built like right before COVID. Yeah. And so that makes sense that they tried to, you know, it was going to be a mall and the only people that could afford to go there were these ghost kitchens and now they're just still open. But the mall itself is completely dead. If you walk around there, there is nothing in like,

there are shops that I don't even know what they sell. I couldn't even know what they sell. I mean, it's in the if it's in a town with nobody in it, then nobody's going to be in there either. Well, that's the thing is that is a different direction. This is where I use this is a place that is packed constantly, but there's just no signage because again, they're not real storefronts. Oh, yeah. They're like weird drop shipping things or you know, those like I was saying, the food

delivery services. Back in the day they used to sell drugs out of those and now they're just selling everything. I mean, pretty much. Yeah. It's very strange because you wouldn't know it but if you look up on like a Yelp near

me or whatever, you do like an ice cream near me it would show that and I've walked by there like 50 times I'm like, there's no ice cream here and I went into it and I was like, wait a minute. This is a mall and There is an ice cream place. It was very bizarre, but it exists Huh that is We need to we needed to go back at least one more time just to see. I intend to. I think the reason why everything's so strange around here is because the area of I'm in in LA,

all of it very similar to when I, like I don't know, 2015 in my old area of the city, when they started tearing down all the things that were there and just building apartments, that's what they did in this area of LA, but they did it in like 2019, 2020. So it was right in COVID and everything opened up. And I'm pretty sure it was just one of those things where it was a different

time for two or three years there. And all of that still remains. And so it doesn't feel real. It still feels weird. But with that said, directly next to my apartment are all these places, there's like an amazing farmers market, there's all sorts of cool stuff here. But if you just go a little further out,

it starts to get real weird. Oh my God, speaking of weird stuff, that's like not real, but real. Have you seen that uh, that game? The like Sims game? What's it called? Invoi? Inzoi or whatever? Yeah, dude that that game looks so weird. It definitely has a creepy factor to it. Every time I see video of it, even when I saw the trailer, it looks... I don't even know if it's Uncanny Valley. There's just something strange about it that I'm like, it feels like this is how

they get you. I don't know why. It just feels weird. It's like when you play The Sims, it's like cartoony. It's a little goofy, right? You're like, oh, but this like, if you do a quick glance, it almost looks like a real person. And it kind of feels weird that you're like, it's like you like a real person and it kind of feels weird that you're like it's like you're watching real people and controlling them and stuff and maybe that's what it is maybe it's like the AI look to it as well like I have no idea but it is kind of weird yeah I've seen a lot of people I don't know if it's the algorithms online but I'm seeing a lot of videos for it and a

lot of streams about it and more importantly a lot of videos for it and a lot of streams about it. And more importantly, a lot of social media where people are posting their avatar. And some of them are hilarious. Some of them are like people making the goofiest, ugliest thing they can think of. And that's funny. But also a lot of them are just like, I made myself and put me in the game. Come watch as I have a life. And I'm like, this is weird.

This feels very, I don't know like ready player one ish like I get it's I think when people did that in the sims it's like cartoony and kind of goofy like okay but like in this it's like it looks so real you know but not like real real just kind of uncanny real and it's just yes creepy it has the exact same vibe as the, I think it was either late 90s, probably late 90s or early 2000s Final Fantasy movie where everyone kind of looked real but also like a statue. It seems very strange to me and yeah I don't, I don't like it. I genuinely people are you gonna play it? I was like maybe for the goof, but I Also, don't like it at all. Yeah, like sometimes

It's like people always think like oh man I want the game to be the most realistic game ever but it's like sometimes you don't Sometimes I enjoy games when they're less realistic I mean, that's how I've always felt about the wow Like I always liked how wow had its own art style, was always kind of cartoony and stuff. Like some people would rather be more realistic, but I like it being more cartoony. This is the same thing as when, oh man, you know, the whole studio Ghibli thing happening right now. Oh yeah, the AI.

Yeah, that sucks. But before this, there was that weird trend of taking the movies and then trying to AI-ify them and being like, the arch is better with this AI, it looks more real. I'm like, what the hell are you talking about? That's not even the point. Yeah, I don't know, people have an obsession with creating something that's real. Like, it has to look real, it looks real.

It's like, does it have to though, like why? Honestly, truly, and I mean this, I think most of this, we're trying to make it look real. It looks real. It's like does it have to though? Like why? Honestly truly and I mean this I think most of this we're trying to make it look real is just they can make porn I'm just gonna say it. I think it's absolutely cuz they were trying to make porn I mean you already know there's like some dude who's got this game and he's like I can create my favorite streamer girl Like live with her that is 100% happening. Absolutely There is no doubt in my mind, if I was to go to Twitter right now and type in Enzoi, half the images would be their bare ass naked character. Yeah.

Without a doubt. I'm convinced all this AI, all of this, like we're trying to make them look as real as possible. All of it is just they can have a real ass looking porn girlfriend that they can type to and be like, Hey baby. She's like, I think you're quite good at turning me on. Like that's just the voice stuff. When people, I don't know if this is happening to you, but um, my Cox clips channel is getting bombarded with AI companies trying to

use. They're like, Hey, we'll pay you for my voice. What the hell? That is creepy. Yeah, they're like, we wanna use your voice. Another guy sent me a thing and he said that some other website, I'm not gonna call them out. Some other YouTuber who I have no idea who they are, lent, was like, sold the rights to their voice and he's like, he earned up to $1 million.

By the way, up to $1 million is a funny thing to say. He earned up to $1 million. the way up to one million dollars is a funny thing to say here's a million dollars and I was just like delete I don't want this is so gross I hate this so much is what they what I say up to that implies that it's definitely not a million dollars and it also implies that they definitely didn't make that happen oh yeah and you can't

give me a number you're out of your mind like is there also incentives like that's whenever I hear that I think of it be like we'll pay you like fifty thousand and then every time we do a thing we'll pay you more up to this rate and like there's always some sort of if then statements built in. Yeah I was like look you might show big numbers in your email, but I never want anyone to then take my voice like we were just talking about and replace the like the dirty AI porn video they're about to make with me being like, Hey there, you're quite good at turning

me on. Like, no, you suck. Don't do that. That's terrible. Yeah. Especially for us. Like our voices are our livelihood. Yeah, absolutely.

I, yeah, no, I don't like it. Yeah, especially for us. Like our voices are our livelihood. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, no, I don't like it. I don't like any of it at all. Yeah, I think out of all the AI stuff, like the I like, obviously, the art sucks is just stealing people's shit. But like the voice stuff is also just creepy. Like, I don't mind it like my like my text to speech is like to me, is also just creepy. Like I don't mind it like my, like my text to speech because like to me it's just like a fancier version

of Microsoft Sam being like, hello, it's Microsoft Sam. Like back in the day, it's just a better version. So like whatever, but once it starts taking other people's voices or like sounding too real, like again, too real. I don't want things to be too real I think that's my cutout. I don't like it.

I'm not a big fan of the way we seem to be going in the fact that a lot of people their justification is that it is art to create things with AI, but not admitting that anything created with AI is literally just skimming previous creations of real people. Yeah. And so they're like, well, it's art, man.

It's art. We're creating something new. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're typing in prompts and then the AI is stealing other people's work to compile it into something new-ish, but that's not, that's not good, that's, don't do that! Good, yeah. No, it's, I don't like it, it's dumb. No. And it's stupid but I did see speaking of streaming I saw you were gonna try streaming

Two hours a day now. I am um not for any real true purpose other than I've bought eight trillion games that I've started and never finished and I would like to actually beat them and the problem is is that I feel beholden to people that if I start a thing on stream, I should finish it on stream. I don't know why. I just feel like I need to. It's like part of my mental programming. So I decided that I'm just, that's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to take the, rather than wait for a day when I have a full day to stream and I don't have to worry, I'm gonna just two hour day it in the morning, get it done, do my stuff, and then go about my day. I feel like you're gonna end up streaming longer than two hours. I can't. I actually have so much stuff to do every day

that I have to be done by noon. Oh, I see. So that's my plan. This is your plan. You're like, I have to be done. Yeah. Like I got to shut her down. Okay. I mean, that's a good plan then. Yep. I like that. Yep. So hopefully, I mean, obviously there might be a day where I go like five, 10 minutes

over because I got to finish a cut scene or I'm on a quest or I'm stuck doing something. But the objective is to be out by noon every single day. Yeah, that's good. That's a solid number. I hope it's good. Well, I guess that's true. I mean, I think it's better to do a bunch of smaller streams as well because then more

people can also catch them. I think once, maybe we talked about this before, once you go over a certain point, the retention of streaming or whatever falls off drastically. I don't remember if it was like, I think it was like four hours or something. But, you know, once you hit that point, it's like, it falls off. Which is why when people stream like 10 hours, it's like, what are you doing? Unless they're just running ads to make money that way, which I guess a lot of them are, but it's still, you have to value your sanity and health. Yeah, I think that's part of it too, in that when I do my, hey, I'm catching up and I would play a lot of whatever streams, when I'm done, that I stand up and my whole ass

hurts and I'm like, oh my God, I just, why'd I do that? And so I feel like shorter streams where I'm just sitting down is better, healthier for sure. Yeah. Like I even noticed that usually I used to stream like two hours now I stream like three to four hours but it's usually some kaizo iron man RNG roll and I just get lost in it but even that it's

like the right amount of time if I go over four hours of streaming I'm like I don't like this like it's it's usually that right amount of time. If I go over four hours of streaming, I'm like, I don't like this. Like it's usually, that's my cutoff. But there's plenty of people. It's like a short stream to them. They're like, guys, we're gonna do a short four hour stream today.

I'm like, what? Huh? But I guess the difference is I also do other things. Like I'm doing YouTube, I'm doing podcasts, I'm doing whatever, right right so it's like a Lot of people just only stream Same I think I think of anything. I'm very much on the Crenn train because I do the exact same stuff you do Except instead of stream every day at a sensible rate

I will get all my work done for YouTube or podcasts or, you know, video game producing and then immediately spend all weekend streaming. But if I have plans in the weekend, then I don't stream at all. And then it might be like a week and a half before I stream again. Yeah. And so things just build up and things get crazy. I'm like, well, I got to do a big stream in order to fill. So I would much rather have a consistent time and be like, look, you don't need to know when I'll be on because I will be on at the exact same time every single weekday, them's the ropes. Yeah. And you got a built in schedule there.

Yeah. And we'll see. We'll see. I think for the most part, doing it from 10 to 12 is very smart because I got nothing really planned ever then Sometimes I'll plan stuff. But now that I'm doing this I'll plan around it obviously Yeah Well, hopefully it works out. I Mean it shouldn't it shouldn't be too tough again. It's not a major time commitment

I have more ridiculous time commitments to this pot like this podcast. We do this and this will take you know, two hours ish and then I will edit and do all that and then upload and you know, that's a Sunday for me. That's true. That's usually we always do this on Sunday. So it's like You got to dedicate an hour and a half two hours to that. So then you're like, alright Well, you just end up cleaning or something while you wait. Yeah. Yeah, I mean like I Have been

Binging bit as I'm sure I mentioned numerous times to many people but especially to you I've been watching the old seasons of Hell's Kitchen. And I finally made it to season 13 or 14, I can't remember which. It's the one that has my man Sterling. I don't know if you have seen this season or anyone listening right now has, but there's this guy Sterling. He genuinely seems crazy, like 12 cans short of a six pack, kind of crazy. He is just so goofy, but his attitude of positivity is so refreshing. Everyone on this season is a giant piece of shit, like just massive piece of shit. They all fight, they all hate each other, all yell at each other.

And Sterling's just like, man, we can do this. We can come on everybody Come on, let's we could come back the people on his team who even hate him When they lose the service he goes up to me. It's like it's alright, man You did pretty good and like thanks sterling like he's just he seems like a genuinely nice guy Surrounded by assholes, but he's also out of his mind and it's so much fun to watch him I need more sterlings in my life. I don't care that he's a out of his mind and it's so much fun to watch him. I Need more starlings in my life. I don't care that he's a little cuckoo. He genuinely seems like a good guy

That is Here's the thing. I've never watched. Well, I've seen Hell's Kitchen, but I haven't like sat down and watched Hell's Kitchen I've only really watched kitchen nightmares. Oh Hell's Kitchen is I've only really watched Kitchen Nightmares. Oh, Hell's Kitchen is, there's a YouTube channel, I think it's called Film Something, Film Rise, I don't know. They have all the uncensored ones. So I was unaware of how much swearing actually was on that show.

I guess over the years I just didn't notice. Because I remember watching the first couple seasons when it was on TV. Uh, so in my dumb idea, I decided to watch it backwards because it was like, I've seen the first couple of seasons. So I'll watch it from the newest season backwards because, uh, eventually I'll reach the stuff I've already seen and I'll know that that's what I've seen before. Well, I didn't realize there were 21 seasons of this show. I think there might be more. I think I saw there are 23, but this one only has 21. And I started watching them

backwards two proms. One, the further I get back, the worse quality these videos are. I'm watching it on TV, on YouTube, and it is rough. Some of the season I'm on right now is blurry as hell. And then, some of the competitions, some of the little games they have, they bring previous chefs who won, so I definitely know who won some of the seasons. I'm like, oh, okay, well. That's cute. That would kind of ruin it.

Yeah, but I guess I don't, the thing I realize is I don't care who wins. So I barely watched the last episode. The last episode's a glorified like, will they, won't they win? It kind of sucks. The last episode's whatever. So I never really watched them.

So half the time I don't know who really won, but it's, I usually watch episode two through whatever the second to last episode is. Cause episode one is like, meet all the people and then they cook for Gordon and Gordon's like, this is trash. Right. And it's, it's like their signature dish and it's very obvious. Most of them just suck, but that part where they have to work together as teams and Gordon yells at them because watching them scramble is very fun. And it's interesting to see how they do it

because I couldn't figure out why it seemed so hard for these chefs to cook because they all when they do the challenges seem like they can cook really well but whenever they're in the kitchen doing a dinner service they always fall apart. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Having watched as many seasons I have as recently as I have I understand now Having watched as many seasons I have, as recently as I have, I understand now, what he does is he wants to serve everything at once. So if I'm making scallops, for example, and you're making risotto,

we need to hand him the risotto and the scallops at the same time. If for any reason my risotto, or whatever, my scallops and your risotto, whatever we're making, sucks, he doesn't just say, all right, we make the one thing. He gets mad at them because they screwed up the order, and they have to remake both of the things. And so what ends up happening is it backs up the kitchen, and it gets worse and worse

and worse. And so now, I have to, even though mine was perfect, I have to remake it, which I stand a chance of not having it be perfect. And so it just keeps snowballing into a crap fest. And I, it's very entertaining, even though I don't know for sure real kitchens run exactly like that. Yeah, I mean, I know real kitchens are crazy, but.

Yeah, oh, they're definitely crazy. And you definitely want to get the food to the pass at roughly the same time. But I feel like Gordon wants it there at the exact same time and if you're off by a minute he screams and freaks out and he's like, this guy is so cold, you donkey! Like that kind of shit. Yeah. I mean, most people watch just to hear the Gordon Ramsay. Absolutely. He said, Oh, my God, I don't know what dish it was,

but he was yelling at the red team and he was like, Ladies, this is drier than a camel's ass in the Sahara. I laughed so hard. I was like, this man got jokes. Do you think he just sits at home trying to write some jokes or he just improvs all of it? I genuinely wonder if they take his best ofs and insert them.

Because there's times while watching this, where you'll notice that the people eating in the dining room are from a different service. Oh. And I didn't notice that until this crazy rewatch I've been doing where you'll see like the guests that are coming in are so excited to be here. You're like, wait a minute, that's the same dude from two episodes ago. What the hell? Unless they just rotate in people to fill out the dining room, but I don't feel like that's the case. Yeah, no, I don't think so. I think, I think, uh, if I was Gordon Ramsay, and I was like gonna go on these shows and stuff,

he's gotta have at least a few things he thinks up, and he's like, man, I really gotta use that insult next time. That's a good one. Right? Like, he's gotta have some of those. Some of them have to be that insult next time. That's a good one, right? Like he's gotta have some of those some of them have to be pre thought up I feel like he's just said it enough in the kitchen that he's roasted a few chefs over the years that he just has these stored Up, but they're definitely at the end of the episodes when he sends someone home He does like he might be a good person, but he's not a good cook and It seems very like those seem scripted yeah those the other ones scripted too yeah the other ones when he like absolutely destroys them in the kitchen it's very very funny and I think those are just ones he has built

in from years and years of just being the guy who yells at ships yeah I think that probably is I mean it's like anything you can usually tell if something's scripted verse just genuine. Yeah. It's like it's the equivalent of I think when you watch The Hobbit and you know what's written in there in the books and what's written by Hollywood where it's like they don't even realize blah blah blah verse like you bloody idiot. Like just it just feels natural. Yeah and and I'm now at the point where I'm watching for the editing and the weird things. Like I can't figure out the timing of things. So they'll be cooking and, uh,

have to present their dishes to Gordon Ramsey. And one of the things they do all the time, all the time on this show is have someone say, this is the best dish I've ever made. It's so good. Cut to Gorda being like, there's no seasoning. There's no salt at all. And I wonder when they got them to film that testimonial because usually in my mind they do the thing, then they go film it, and then they show, you know, when I was doing, um, tabletop, we would play the game and then we would go into a room and they record us, they'd ask us questions and they'd say, don't answer the question, repeat the question and

then say what you want to say. So if the question was, um, what did you think of playing with Will Wheaton? I would say, I think playing with Will Wheaton is so much fun, although I will destroy him, like that kind of thing. Yeah. And I can't figure out when they filmed that because the only thing that makes sense, and this is probably true, Gordon Ramsey is eating cold food. Wait, is he eating cold? Oh, I get it. Because if they make the food and they put it up and then they have to go film themselves or he eats the food. And then after they're done judging them,

they send them in the room and pretend that they didn't just get judged horribly, but ask them to say things like your food's amazing. I, I don't know when they, that's the little thing I'm trying to figure out, the behind the scenes. Honest to God, if I could get my man Sterling on Tell Me About, I would. I want to know all the deets. I want to know what's going on in there. Yeah, because that's... All these reality shows and stuff have that type of thing where it seems like it's all put together, but there's plenty of times where, whenever they do those segments on any reality show where they sit down and talk to them office style

and they're just like, we don't know what's gonna happen now. They film all that after the show is done and they just have to pretend they're in the moment. Exactly, exactly. But there's, watching Chopped, for example, another show I love, on that show, they don't do the things where they sit there

and they talk about like, this is the best dish I've ever made. They don't do that. But it's very clear that time passes between when they are done cooking and when they present to the judges. And you know, the background is completely clean now. All the counters and stuff are wiped down.

So time has passed and it's very clear, just because I've looked it up, they serve the judges cold food. But on Hell's Kitchen, I just don't know when they filmed the stuff. And it's very interesting because also the time makes no sense. There'll be times where it seems like, you know, it's episode six, but a contestant will say in one of those testimonials it's been three weeks of hell here I'm like it's been three weeks time has no meaning I'm like wait so how many services are you actually doing and what is what's filmed when I honestly have no answers it Hell's Kitchen mystifies me I am obsessed with this show as you can tell because I've watched from season 21 to season 13

Or whatever the hell I'm on right now And I've done so in a month by the way That is impressive. I mean, when do you mainly watch it? When I eat dinner when I'm cooking um When I like if I'm doing something on the computer, I'll have it on the background. Like if I'm writing something or editing something that doesn't require me having to listen to it, it's just like a bunch of cuts to things. Uh, I'll have it, like it's just white noise, but not white noise to the point where like I won't put it on to go to sleep because I want to want, I want to know what happens. I won't put it on to go to sleep. Cause I wanna know what happens.

Yeah, it's, I don't know. To me, that's like something I couldn't sleep to. Cause it's like, there's too much high tension stuff going on. That stressed me out. I keep getting got when I go to sleep. So I have for the last couple of weeks been obsessed with Pokemon

games done quick speed runs of the old games. There's these two guys, they did a Pokemon randomizer, but it was both of them playing together at the same time. And because it was all random, but they were on the same seed, they would tell each other what they were finding as they were playing through it, trying to make it as fast as possible. It was fascinating to listen to. Went to bed, kept playing that one for a while. Found a new one. It was this guy playing... Man, I think it might have been Silver... It was one of the older ones. And it was... He had such like a... I'm gonna play this thing thing. I do this. I'm like, it's such a great voice. It was perfect for sleeping. But I guess at some point during his run, he had like a low health thing or some alert thing. And the entire time I woke up, it was like, and I

look over and his kids, his screen is flashing. The crowd is freaking out and I was like what what? What I wanted so now I'm worried about that getting jump-scared in my Pokemon trying to sleep strain See that's what I mean all my ASMR stuff doesn't doesn't do any of that None of it. I don't have to worry about it. It's just all quiet all the time. The problem is, is that a lot of ASMR is too quiet. Like I need to hear something. And a lot of ASMR is either someone snapping, which is not conducive to sleep, or someone doing weird mouth sounds, not conducive to sleep.

Uh, or someone being like, I'm like, what, what are you saying? I can't, it just sounds like a mouse is whispering in my bedroom. What the hell? I don't like it. So I can't really do ASMR. I have to do, you know, like the one guy who's like, I like gemstones. Like that's the stuff I need. To me, it helps more because I'm like, wait, what are they saying? I'll try to listen more and then try to figure out what they're saying.

Makes my brain just turn off. That's the exact opposite. I would stay up. I would turn up the volume and stay up trying to figure it out. I can't do it. I need I need that unintentional. I need like a oh, my God, I found one. Except it did keep me up because it was so interesting.

It was a, um, an old man. I think maybe the video is called like the calmest voice you've ever heard or something like that. It's an old man with a beard and he's talking about, uh, meditation and existence and it's very heavy stuff. Um, like the first two minutes he's like, what are we? The bodies that we are or are we something more? When I, he's like in a few short years, I'll be dead and gone. But am I the body or am I my, I was like, what the hell? I listened to the whole thing.

It was fascinating. This guy was awesome. Even though the voice I did, I don't know what that voice was He's like an old British man, and he looks like you would imagine an old British man who definitely reads a lot looks That sounds like the most Jesse Cox fall asleep thing. I Loved it. No, I didn't the thing is I didn't fall asleep at all. I listened to the full hour or so of it What's the problem? I didn't, the thing is I didn't fall asleep at all. I listened to the full hour or so of it. What's the problem?

I was like, this is amazing. Well, I, the video literally was just like, it's the calmest voice or the best sleepy voice I've ever heard, something like that. And I was like, well, sure, all right, let's go. And he started talking. I was like, my God, that is, like that really is the perfect sleepy time voice.

But then everything he said was the most philosophical. I was like, wow. I don't know. I just. The thing is, like, if it's something on the TV, right, like if I'm like on the couch watching TV or something, even if it's a YouTube video on the TV, then I'll be like starting to fall asleep. But I can't do it if I'm like in bed That is the same thing with me that real talk

I will fall asleep more on the couch trying to watch something Than in bed trying to watch something to the point where I barely watch stuff on TV now. Um Unless I'm eating dinner and I'll turn on the TV and watch it But like most the time I have my phone and I'm playing something in the background while I'm eating dinner and I'll turn on the TV and watch it but like most of the time I have my phone And I'm playing something in the background while I'm doing something else. So you have to be like physically doing something or The stuff I watch it puts me to sleep every time. Yeah yeah, that makes sense because And I think it's cuz maybe it's just a big screen playing something and you're not kind of you're not really trying to fall asleep at that point I think which also

makes you sleepier yeah I think it's honestly I think it's the lack of activity if I'm playing a game or I'm doing anything else like cleaning up around the house going for a walk, you know, like actively engaged in something. My brain is focused and I'm fully awake. The minute I sit down on a couch and just watch the TV, my brain is like, oh, thank God, we're just relaxing. And everything shuts down.

It's like, it's time to sleep. And I'm like, no, bed is time for sleep. This is, I just, I have an hour to kill and I was gonna watch a thing and now you're like no no Jesse, go to bed baby. I'm like no. Dude the amount of times my dad would fall asleep watching TV growing up is like off the charts. I'm telling ya, I think I finally hit that old man age where sleeping on the couch is

a vibe. I used to think it was my old couch, but dude, this new couch, it's not nearly as comfortable as the old couch. I'm still fighting it. I still got to fight it. So I just don't sit down and watch that much TV anymore. Yeah. I mean, I don't really watch as much. I really just watch my sports and we'll watch like movies or TV show like,

like, you know, series that you like watch on the TV, like Netflix or something. Sure. Sure. Yeah. Not like sitting down and putting on actual TV. I can't even remember the last time I went to the movies. Like I... The last movie I saw was Deadpool and Wolverine in a theater whenever the hell that came out. And before that I couldn't even tell you what the movie I saw before that in the theater was. Maybe John Wick? John Wick, the last John Wick movie? Deadpool and Wolverine was last year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Deadpool, Wolverine. I saw, I remember exactly three movies that I saw in theaters. It might have Deadpool Wolverine was last year. Yeah, Deadpool Wolverine. I remember exactly three movies that I saw in theaters.

It might have been last year. I don't remember when John, the last John Wick came out, but it was Deadpool. The movie I saw before Deadpool was I went and saw an 88 millimeter screening of Interstellar in London, because I had a few days to just chill. And I went to go see that, and I was so upset by how insanely bad the crowd was.

There was a dude in front of me on his phone. There was a kid playing with a seat next to me the entire time, and the seat was clearly broken because it kept going, eh, eh, eh, eh. While the mood was playing. And I realized, yeah, no, this ain't for me. Obviously Deadpool Wolverine

I wanted to go cuz I wanted to go with the crowd cuz I knew it'd be funny and people be eating it up and Everyone be cheering stuff right but Mmm, I don't want to go see a serious movie in a theater if people are just gonna be the worst anymore Yeah, I mean I think people have always been pretty bad though I don't remember growing up as a kid. Also, there were no phones. But I don't remember people being hyper intolerable in movie theaters when I was a kid.

Even in college, no one did that shit. I mean, there definitely, I'm sure it happened, but I wasn't a witness to it. Now, every time I'm in the theater, there is someone within the vicinity of me just on their phone the entire movie and it's like why did you pay to come here then? Yeah and like what are you doing? They go with somebody else? Yes oh if my friend any friend pulled out their phone during a movie I would be like nah you dead to me dude that's the stupidest why why are

you even here? You should have just stayed the car Yeah, no, I agree. You definitely if somebody's on their phone be like hey get off your phone The worst part is is then if you say something to them it's over they're gonna lose their mind They're gonna make a whole a whole spectacle. I can do whatever I want. I don't need someone telling me where I live my life. Yeah. What happened to shame? I wish we could bring that back. Yeah. We do need more shame. We need to bring back shame. People, people, I don't know. Maybe I'm the problem. I did say be shameless for a while there, but like maybe I'm the problem. Maybe people took that to heart because dear God some of y'all Just don't like I don't care what you think like maybe you should though, maybe you should

That's the same people that are like the parents that care too much what their kids think they're like he's gonna be mad at me It's like you're a parent like the kids are supposed to like Not like you at points because you're supposed to be parenting them and being like no you can't do this and then you're not their friend Yeah, like a bunch of these parents are like I want to be my kids friend He must've he doesn't like when I do this thing and this thing even though I think it's good But I just it's just like dude stop be a parent, but

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That's shopmando.com code Crendor to get $5 off their starter pack. All right, Crendor, let's go to Traffic's got something going on, there's traffic out there. Oh man, let me tell you, traffic's picking up because it's getting warmer outside, weather's getting nicer, people are starting to go out They want that sunlight the daylight has taken over now. You see a dark like 435 now

It's light out till like 7 730 dude. It's getting crazy So gas prices going up, but you know, what is it at this point in the economy? Watch out. Thank you. What a... Watch out. Watch out. Watch out. Hey watch out. Watch out on the road. Some of that dude, even today, some of the worst drivers, maybe because it's Sunday, absolute terrible drivers. I'm starting to think that we don't make people go to driving school anymore. Like when I was a kid you had to. At least in Ohio. But I'm starting to think you don't gots to know more because there are some people

that just don't understand driving. Or. Or. They really don't. Or it's delivery culture. There's a lot of times where I'll see people on their phone and they'll just slow down and rather than just drive they'll slow down and start looking around they're looking at their phone they're looking around and I'm like just pull over. If you're gonna do that. Yeah there's the phones have definitely made much worse drivers everywhere.

Yeah. The amount of people I will definitely see on their phones or like people that's like swerve a bit. They'll be like, like coasted into the other lane and be like, they like swerve back in. It's like, what are you doing? I don't know if it's just because I grew up not having a phone while driving or all those commercials that were like, don't text and drive or you'll die, actually worked on me, but I genuinely am like,

hmm, what if we, you can wait. The message will still be there, it'll be fine. Yeah, it's, some people, I don't even think they're looking at messages. They're just like browsing shit. Desk. Like just apps. That's crazy, I don't understand that

yeah uh see at those I've definitely seen some people that are just terrible at driving I'm like is this guy on his phone like nope it was bad I don't know what they're doing and then there's just people like the zoom oh my one dude today he was like trying to pass every car. He was going like 45 and a 30. He was like trying to pass somebody. He's like, oh, he's about to like go into oncoming traffic. I was like, dude, you got to calm down. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's insane.

I always wonder where that guy like it's first off. It's always a guy, by the way. I always wonder, like, where's that guy going? And yeah yeah why is he going that way is he late and if he's late why doesn't he just not leave so late you know what is going on with this man that they have to drive like that like weave in and out of traffic in order to get ahead it's like dude you're gonna get caught the same stoplight as the rest of us what are you doing yeah

it's I don't I don't know what they're doing they're just they lack patience or something I don't know there is also a I don't even know how to describe this there's definitely a culture of men and women, when it comes to cars, who are just like, there are no laws, speed is the only law. Oh yeah. It's the, some of the people that put all the loud shit on their car too, or it's constantly just like, brrrr. It's like, okay.

I remember seeing this video of this girl, she was like, you know what men are total bitches? The ones that use their turn signals. I was like like you mean to alert others of your intentions on the road She was like my man does not ever use a turn signal and I was like you two are gonna die in that car together Yeah, that's great. See then you know that if you ever meet this person to not interact with them or to get away from them. There's some crazy people out there. Yep that is true. The biggest sign of crazy people out there is I saw a some guy posted a thing that was a

poll of Americans and it was like do you think we should invade Greenland and 26 percent of people said yes and I was like that seems about right 26% of us are completely stupid Was like yes that that makes perfect sense yes, I see that as being true there are 26 I would say that seems low for America, but yeah, yeah 26% checks out That's Yeah, that's why I said stay safe yeah yeah it checks out that's the traffic all right let's go to weather we've got a weather request for Marietta Ohio yo I actually know where Marietta, Ohio. Yo, I actually know where Marietta, Ohio is. Damn. Not only the first US settlement in Ohio, but was the first permanent settlement of the entire Northwest Territory.

It is, uh, imagine a very old looking town. Okay. Like it looks, it looks like you would imagine Main Street USA looks. Uh, and that's the best way to describe it. It looks like you would imagine Main Street USA looks. And that's the best way to describe it. The middle of Ohio. Oh, there it is. Okay. It was like,

actually, is that Southeast Ohio? It literally is, yeah. Okay. Well, it's 67 degrees right now. Fahrenheit over there, currently. It is 69% humidity nice 29.75 inches of pressure 10 miles of visibility 8 mile an hour winds dew point 57 UV index 0 with a waxing crescent moon phase 712 a.m. sunrise 748 p.m. sunset

looks like it's about to have thunderstorms there. 100% chance, few of them may be severe. So watch out, wind and tornadoes are possible. Monday, a.m. showers 62. Tuesday, 55, partly cloudy. Wednesday, 71, cloudy. Thursday, 68, rain, thunder, Friday 64 rain, Saturday 74 rain, Sunday 63 rain, Monday 50 partly cloudy, Tuesday 49 partly cloudy, Wednesday 54 partly cloudy, and then pretty much 50s with partly cloudy. Having lived in Ohio, I don't even need to go look. I want to play a game with you right now. Alright. Where you confirm if I'm correct. Okay. Marietta, Ohio has exactly four types of restaurants. One, Italian, two, steak houses, three, like, um, American-y style diners slash bistros and four fast food places. That's it. I dare you to find anything else. I'm convinced that's the case.

It is, Mariana is like right on the border of West Virginia. It is, I'm telling you, that's pretty much all you're gonna find there. It's again, very like Main Street USA vibes. Okay, let's see. We got Smitty's Pizza. Smitty's Pizza? That looks... I feel like we've talked about a Smitty's

before. I don't think so. It looks pretty mediocre. Alright. We got Tanya's Country Kitchen. This looks... This is the American food. Like it looks like Tanya's Country Kitchen. Pretty much imagine it in your head and then imagine the food you would think would be at Tanya's. It looks just like that. My favorite part is like.

I know Tanya's Country Kitchen, which is really funny. And I can tell you exactly, I believe looks like they took a old country buffet and then just rebranded the building. It does, yes. Yep, that's the one. And the food looks like slightly higher quality Waffle House, but like not that much higher. That sounds right. Yeah, the

bakery and coffee house, that looks pretty alright. I don't know what's decent. Yeah, I imagine you can't really screw that up. Yep. A Boathouse barbecue. Americana. Yep. Yep. We got Busy B. What's that? OK. Busy B is let's see. They got breakfast.

They got sandwiches. I think it's like a brunch place. OK. It actually looks pretty good. I would eat here. I guess Americana. That's still that's like a brunch place. Okay. It actually looks pretty good. I would eat here. I guess Americana. That still counts. Yeah, it's like a breakfast Americana. Let's see, there's the original pizza place.

Whoa, the original pizza place in general? The original. Yes, the original pizza place. Damn. Another Smitty's Pizza? Tell dude I think as this either I know Smitty's or we've done it before it feels like a chain I feel like you know Smitty's all right I definitely don't know Smitty's I would have remembered they got a Tim Hortons, a Wendy's, a McDonald's, a Subway. That sounds right. Pizza Hut, Applebee's, another McDonald's.

The Norwood Tavern. Okay, got a tavern. Um, there's gotta be... Okay, another Smitty's. It's definitely just like a local chain. Yeah. I'm surprised, because it's been a while since I've been to Marietta,

but surely I thought by now in 2025, there would be like a Mexican restaurant, but so far. That's what I'm trying to find. Wait, what's this? The buttery blonde? That sounds Americana. That sounds like a burger place. sounds like a like a burger place

Says it's a bakery, but there's no pictures. Okay Maybe maybe it's you know maybe it's uh I don't know prostitutes. I have no clue It could be yep wait We got one Philippines best food Williamstown. Ah, but Williamstown's not Marietta. Oh yeah, it's across the river.

Ah, jeez. Yeah, so that'd be West Virginia. Okay, yeah, that's over the river. Wait! Spanglish! Spanglish Spanglish we got Spanglish tacos burritos more it's got a 4.9 you know what five hell yeah all right I'll take it that's a win for me as far as I'm concerned yeah it actually looks pretty decent oh yeah there we go and then right next to the star of India.

Damn. It really is 2020. They're doing it. I like that. I'm telling you, when I was there in like the early 2000s, like 2001, 2002, that was, I don't remember seeing any of that. There was no, hey man, come try our Indian food in Marietta.

Just wasn't a thing. Yeah. I think these are probably the only ones but they seem decent enough. Yeah I mean that's good at least. Yeah I'm here for that. Plus Marietta College is right there so you would imagine a college town would have a wide variety of different foods. Like you would have to most college towns despite being in the middle of nowhere in this country, still have some pretty great local foods. Yeah.

Oh, we got another one! The Tampico, Tampico Mexican Restaurant. Hell yeah. There you go. All right, I'm here for this. I like that. Look at that. Yeah.

And then Witt's Frozen Custard. That's a Midwest state. Hell yeah. You gotta have some frozen custard somewhere. You state frozen got frozen custard also there's a place called needers diner yo I formerly needers Conan shake all the diners all the different again Americana ish things are I know we're gonna be good

they might not look good but they'll hit the spot when you need it oh yeah that's That's like, what's that one? Like A&W. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, did you ever hear about the A&W story about how they tried to make a competition with the quarter pounder? Did you hear about this? No. It makes me so sad to be an American. Basically, A&W Root Beer tried to compete with McDonald's Quarter Pounder by making a 1 third pound burger.

But people are so dumb they thought 1 third was less than a quarter. And so they just, they went to McDonald's still. I bet you could look that up and be verified. I'm pretty sure that's the story. I guess that wouldn't be too surprising. Yeah, yeah. That's really upsetting to me. I think about that all the time. Like, eww, we really failed them. As a former educator, we really failed the youth of America.

Yeah, it's not getting any better. Nope. Well, that's the weather. All right, let's go to sports. Sports. Welcome to the sports desk. Bop bop boop bop. Baseball has started. We've got baseball happening. Currently. We've got the Yankees in first place. What a surprise.

We've got the Yankees in first place. What a surprise. The Cleveland Guardians, the Texas Rangers, the Miami Marlins. That actually is a surprise. The St. Louis Cardinals and the Los Angeles Dodgers. So we still got 150 some games to go. Yeah, that's just starting. There's your standings. Over in the NBA, we're actually getting towards the playoffs. We got the Cavaliers, Celtics, Knicks, all clinched playoff spots

already and then in the West we got the Thunder who have already clinched a playoff spot. We're obviously going to get more teams clinching playoff spots soon. We've also got plenty of teams that are eliminated. So it's just a matter of time and then we'll be in the playoffs over there. In hockey, oh god, we've got the similar situation to the NBA although I think they're a bit closer to the playoffs. They got the Washington Capitals have clinched their Eastern Conference playoff spot. I also think Ovechkin's like getting really high in his goals. He's got 890 goals now, five goals from the record. Damn. Alexander Ovechkin. Oh, Ovechkin. And then you got the Jets and the Stars

clinching playoff spots in the West and the Golden Knights about to clinch one as well. Then we got the March Madness going on. I made my bracket. So mad. Yep, I uh, this has actually been one of the least mad March Madnesses. It really has been. Everyone that I've seen who's kind of played the numbers game is doing pretty well. Yeah the final four is every one seed so every number one team in their division has made it. So it's Auburn Florida Duke Houston which I guess makes for competitive games here which which is good, but Everybody always likes the underdog story where it's like, oh man, it's a Lipscomb or like Ole Miss or like Liberty made it or like Mount St. Mary's going on instead of just like

Auburn, Florida Duke Houston. Yeah. Yeah, it definitely shows what powerhouses they are for luring in students, like student athletes. Yeah, mm-hmm. It's just luring students in. Put the breadcrumbs out. We got them. What a fool! Now you're on the basketball team. Oh jeez. I wanted to be a scientist not anymore So yeah they allured the most students so yeah I mean they're just big programs right so it's like they just get the most yeah good players so that's the final four so cool that was the women's tournament bracket actually maybe they're a bit a bit more exciting. I don't think it, I think they're also the one. Yep. It's also UCLA, South Carolina, both one seeds. And then one and two are playing each other. USC, UConn and then Texas TCU one and two again.

So it's all just one and twos in both men and women's. Yeah. But shout out to Southern California for the ladies teams. There you go. Just going to, you the ladies teams you know they're doing it so that's pretty cool hey if you get USC versus South Carolina it'd be USC USC versus USC that could be fun who do you root for fun yeah USC is gonna win uh, that's sports. By the way, real quick, I was unaware until, I think sometime earlier this week, the Winter Olympics in 2034, Cranador, we have to live that long, in 2034 are in Salt Lake City.

I want to go watch curling live. We need to both be around so we can do Cox and Cranador live from the 2020, the 2034 Olympics. Alright, the 2034 Olympics. Nine years away, you and me in Salt Lake City, we'll go to Utah, if Utah's still standing and not nuclear fallout, and we will go there and we will do live coverage of curling. Yeah, that sounds good. I definitely want to do that go to see live curling

that would be kind of yeah oh my god I would love that I really enjoy curling the problem is is the next winter games um is in Italy that's not gonna happen I'm not gonna go there and then the next one after that is in the French Alps oh that would be an amazing experience but no way I'm not going yeah there. Yeah, no I'm alright.

Yeah, that's definitely the closest one we'd get. Yeah, plus it's Salt Lake City so maybe, you know, they can try to make it expensive but it's still gonna be super cheap. That's a nowhere really. Yeah, which I'm still looking forward to this Winter Olympics gonna be great yep next February I believe yeah so 11 months ish yeah yeah hopefully we'll get some good sports that don't make any sense to me I'm like wait so he's on skis and he has a gun is that even safe

yeah that's honestly the best part the weird wacky sports like I don't even know what's going on mmm we need more of those in general across the board agreed yeah just in general like ice skating but they also have to like I don't know fence ice skating but they're fencing yeah

skating fencing yep ice fencing oh my god yeah that's it that's what we need ice fencing. Yep. Ice fencing. Oh my god. Yep. That's it. That's what we need. We need ice fencing. That's it. Add it in. It can be like jousting. Yeah, they have to go to the edge of the arena then skate at each other full force with their swords. Holy crap, that'd be amazing. That would be unbelievable. Oh my god. Yeah, let's get that. Start the petitions. Ice fencing. Ice fencing. We should we should.

I think we have to like grow it from the ground up. Holy shit, I typed it in. It exists. Stop. What does it look like? 17. It looks like they're just skating around fighting. Really are fencing on ice.

That is it's a real thing. Well, now it has to be an Olympic sport. It's real. It exists. Crazy. ass thing well now it has to be an Olympic sport it's real it exists crazy yeah that would be you yeah they're like sliding under each other and shit that would be so much fun it honestly would be like that fight in what is that Batman begins where Christian Bale fights what's his face on the on the ice and they have a sword fight that was so cool

they've been in real life amazing yeah and then they can be like ice to see you exactly yeah it's got to be Arnold Schwarzenegger as well Arnold Schwarzenegger we pay him to do the announcements he's gonna do the commentary this guy has to chill out that was a frosty reception he just says the same as like an NPC just says the same shit over and over that was so good we should really be in charge we really should we should be in charge of a lot of things the world's

letting us down but not like the detailed parts of it only the ideas and like bringing it to I've said before we would be a great Chris Metzen we walk into a room yeah throw down a notepad we scribbled on of ideas and we're like figure it out and then we just leave and make a million

dollars yeah hundred percent we could do that we definitely have to like now we just have to find somebody that will execute our idea yeah yeah we need we need the hardest part we need someone who wants to be in Now we just have to find somebody that will execute our idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need, we need... The hardest part.

We need someone who wants to be in charge, but not the responsibility of being in charge. Yes! Um, and that's sports. Oh, right. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day, day, day... Bump. Bump. the day day day It takes a drop of water 90 days to

travel the entire Mississippi River interesting how you figure that out I assume what they consider the full Mississippi hold on because I'm wondering if it's if it's much further than I think it is. Says spanning 2,340 miles, Mississippi River is the third largest watershed in the world. That's one long stretch of water.

So long, in fact, that it takes one drop of water 90 days approximately to travel its entire length. Ah, okay. For some reason in my brain, I thought the Mississippi River went into Canada, but that's not true. It starts at Lake Itasca in northern Minnesota and then it ends in the Gulf of Mexico, which is what I knew that to be. But I did not know, I thought it kept going.

I don't know why I thought it kept going into Canada, but alright. Where? Oh yeah, I see it like kept going. I don't know why I thought it kept going into Canada but alright. Where? Oh yeah I see it there and it goes all the way down. Yeah look at that. They'll probably rename it the American Freedom River soon or something. Trying to figure out exactly where it all goes. Yeah, look at that. It really is. That really is the case. That's... Who knew? That's like how you glanced over what I said. You know what? I do that all the time now. Don't worry. I definitely, while I said, uh, Gulf of Mexico, did in the back of my

mind go so you change the Mississippi River to the American American Freedom River that it empties into the Gulf of America right right right well it's the Freedom River empties into the Gulf of America yeah of course oh yeah that would make sense it makes perfect sense yeah getting the

true issues of our country right right finally someone's tackling the problems. Yeah, who needs funding for education and libraries? Yeah, who needs affordable food and healthcare? And like, thank God we changed a map. I can sleep at night. But yeah, I mean how do they figure out a drop of water takes that long? Do they measure how long a drop of water, like, flows?

Uh, great question. I assume it's just math. They just mathed out the speed of the water, maybe. But, I wonder if there is some sort of test you could do with dyes, maybe? That's true. That would make sense. You could put some dye at the start of the river and then, but then you would think over time the dye would fade, but maybe it was one of those dyes

that you know, when they do tests on the body and they stick a dye in you and that's how they can follow your intestines and stuff, maybe it's the same kind of thing. I don't know, science, I'm not one of those. Maybe, maybe they get a drop of water and then they use some sort of drop water. Yeah. Actually, okay, what if they take a drop of something else

like an oil, right? The difference is if it's oil or if it's a hard thing or if it's anything that isn't water, potentially surface area or rocks or somebody could block it and make the yeah travel slower So I'm trying to think what it could be without it just being You know water, but honestly, I don't know I Couldn't even figure out like basic math problems with like a train going one way. I'm not gonna figure this out. Yeah, I

Don't even get me started on the two trains Yeah, that's there are two trains approaching each other at the same direction, different speeds. I can't do it. Yeah, that's too much. My question is why are those two trains on the same track? That's terrible. That is terrible. They're just gonna crash.

And that's your fact of the day. Okay. Who has come to us with tears in their eyes? Alright, here we go. We've got... Dear illustrious sirs, with tears in my eyes, I throw myself at the mercy of your mighty and terrible court. Yes, yes, I like this. At the end of episode 428, we were told a senior men's field lacrosse team needed sponsorship. What's going on with that?

Any updates? Sincerely, all those who serve you. So I got hit up by them on email and they said, Hey, would you send us a logo so we can put it on our Jersey? And you know, they were looking for a sponsorship and I was like, hell yeah, this would be so much fun. I sent them the logo. I talked to them about the jersey, I gave them our sizes because they were gonna send us the jersey and then never heard anything back.

Well that's the best part is sounds like many things. I mean we could make merch with it because I basically I made the logo look like the Pet Boys logo but it's just our face. Our faces are like animated faces, but it just looks like pet boys. And um, yeah, they, uh, I heard nothing back. So I guess they didn't use it. Or they were like, that was a dumb idea. It just stopped. But I haven't heard anything since that was, I don't know. That was like a like six months ago now. The head man. I wonder if they've even played by then.

Maybe I don't know. I couldn't tell you. But I wish I wish they would have, I wish I would have gotten an update. I wish they would have put us on the jersey because that would have been so much fun. I would have, all of our sports segments would be their scores. It would have been a whole thing. Pfft. Maybe they did and they just never told us. Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. Pfft. Yeah. Um. They did admit that it was the first

time they were done anything like this so maybe it just didn't work out that's true as well yeah it's probably something like that yeah and that's that dear illustrious sir now we have landed on dear illustrious Sirs with tears in my eyes. I ask you if you had to call someone out for a celebrity boxing match who would you fight? Which celebrity or YouTuber do you think you would beat realistically with a six month training camp? Ummm...Dodger. I could take her I feel like you got to fight someone at the same at the same like size scale um that's how the boxing always works right they have like weight categories and like size categories

sure sure yeah uh man I don't know enough people to know who I would fight I have to call someone out but I also enough people to know who I would fight. I'd have to call someone out, but I also want to beat them. So what about that Tricia Paytas girl? Can I beat up her? I don't know.

Probably not, to be honest. She'd probably kick my ass. She probably would. kick my ass. She probably would. Yeah I honestly don't know enough people that I would want to fight. Does that make any sense? Like there are not people in the world that I want to throw punches with and if it was a friend or if it was a friendly thing I just wouldn't want to throw punches to begin with. Yeah. Like I gotta really dislike you to want to throw a punch. Like I don't know if there's anybody I would dislike enough that I want to throw a punch. Like I don't know if there's anybody I would dislike enough that I want to fight.

I don't, I don't, I'd never really care that much. I'm trying to think of people that I could beat in a fight though. I mean I could definitely beat some people in a fight. But I also know that I would end up leaving like John McClane. I'd be covered in blood and just a mess. Like I wouldn't quit. I've got a thick, stupid skull. I would keep, I would just like,

just like every fight that Rocky was in where he just stood there and took it, that's pretty much what happened. Yeah, I'm trying to like, I'm trying to think who's like my height. I looked up content creator height. Apparently Shroud is 5'7". He looks about my size. I could probably fight him. You know what? I want to fight Queso. That's it. The reason why isn't even because I want

to fight Queso. I think Queso is probably a great guy. I want to fight Queso because I could probably get some subscribers off of that. Yeah. I did see there's a clip of I think XQC playing soccer for 30 seconds and then like passing out. I could probably fight him. He seems like he would fall over from a life of streaming for 20 hours a day and not exercising. I probably win that one. There is a thing that I feel like you have an advantage on that you like workout regularly. And a lot of people, even though they're very thin and look like they work out, definitely do not.

Yeah, like stamina is definitely a thing I think people take for granted. Like I can, I never really get tired. I can do a bunch of stuff like all day, like doing errands. I'll go to the gym. I like walk, I do a bunch of stuff like all day like doing errands. I'll go to the gym I like walk I do a bunch of stuff and I'm still going sure and then like toaster woman will be like I need to lay down Like we're doing too much. I'm like I keep going Like I go running like my stamina is pretty good. So I think that's not an issue

It's just I would have to be fighting somebody my own height and weight category I think I think I do pretty all right. The problem is I wouldn't want to do it. Number one, because I, my concussion already gave me a fear of concussions. Sure. So that's the last thing I want to do is a sport where you're supposed to win by hitting them in the head. Uh, and then I'd probably just like, like pull a muscle in my neck again.

Yeah. That's the last thing I need to I I just know that I would sweat like crazy and it'd be gross. I Just know I just know what I got But if you like fought somebody they slipped on your so yeah, all the punches would glance off me. They'd slide off Yeah, you're like Odin and oil. I know what I'll never forget us walking in Chicago and Tos was like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm just gross. I was like, don't worry. We were walking to dinner that one time and I was just like, I went to the bathroom and

she was like, you okay? I was like, I literally just wiped off sweat. I'm fine. I'm, I can walk anywhere I can do. I'm like, it's fine. I just, I'm a sweat machine. Just you have to accept it it It is what it is. I Think the only time I've seen you not okay was that time at e3 Ed Brunkitis

Yeah, that really screwed with me. That was not cool But any other time I can do whatever I just am a gross sweat machine. It's just who I am I remember we were eating our food and you're like I gotta go to the bathroom You're in there for like 30 minutes. I was like is he dead? Oh I was I was hacking up a lung. I was genuinely hunched over the sink that was in there and just like trying to breathe. Jesus. Yeah the worst one was the doctor was like it'll pass. I was like you sure you sure feel like I'm dying yeah no I learned that from a dr. John who he's like yeah I've run kind of eight weeks

I was like oh my god that was insane yeah that was not cool even from this cough I've had my I had my cough like I think it's been two weeks it's finally letting up now it's like pretty good but like even two weeks is like coughing sucks yeah that residual cough man I need I need I know for a fact that this is available because I live in LA and I see it happen all the time I need to get one of those doctors like who's a doctor to the stars because they give them some crazy stuff they give them shots and things that I don't know if it's legal what they're giving them but they they're cold last a day and I have friends who are celebrities and they should hook me

up they won't but they should that is doctor to the stars sounds like the most insane movie it probably would be because you see a lot of the times when the celebrities overdose on crazy drugs it's because their doctor gave it to them it probably is give them like cocaine or some shit probably worse than that it's all the drugs that make them like fall asleep in a pool and they die and stuff oh yeah

they're giving them like the anesthetic drugs yeah they're giving crazy stuff and they're like was your doctor I can I'm like I don't know that you should though This will put you to sleep for the entirety of your cold Yeah Perfect. Look I have to be back on set in five here. Take this shot in your neck, dude I'll take a neck shot if you can freakin cure me

Or it's like that stuff where they're just they're like a harvesting like the DNA cells from like people and that's fine. I'll take that to inject Cells in me. I don't care. I just don't be sick for eight weeks. That was terrible Whatever the shit. It's like the they all the conspiracy people are like they're injecting stem cells blood or like I don't know Shit, I don't oh my god you mean the conspiracy stuff for they were like they're harvesting babies in the bottom of a restaurant like that stuff I don't know what they called it I need to get on that yeah where's that probably some of that hey you're not big enough you're right I. I'm not a big enough celebrity. Damn.

What's the point of all this that if I can't get my weird baby injections? What the hell? Yeah It's another great tombstone He's really right. What is the point? he's really right what is the point that's where are we dear illustrious yep all right what is our big news story the day big news story of the day day day day day day day day judge shames

royal Air Force engineers who stole Paddington bear statue You know what that is the right use of shame shame them 100% shame we like we said we need more shame Yep, bring it back London they didn't look after this bear in fact London. In fact, two men who had been drinking kicked and yanked on a statue of Paddington, the fictional orphan bear who came to England from Peru until it broke in half and then they took it. Like what? You don't do that to Paddington. They clearly didn't watch Paddington 2. It is one of the best movies ever made. 100%. I love that movie. Paddington 2 is a

great movie. People make a joke about it and they think everyone is lying to them. And then you watch it and you're like, this is beautiful. Dude, yeah, I watched... I watched Paddington... the first movie on the plane to... I think it might have been England. Or something. That was... I was so pleasantly surprised.

Or wait, no, it was Paddington too. I watched Paddington too on the way to England. And I was like, this movie was so good. I genuinely thought, this is no joke, I thought people were messing with me. I thought it was like a meme. Because I was like, Paddington, really? Shocked me, shocked me how enjoyable. So all I'm saying is, Paddington? Really? Shocked me. Shocked me how enjoyable.

So all I'm saying is, how dare they? Yeah. This is what shows you the true... What type of person someone is. Like their true intention. Seeing this shit. Because then they'll be like, oh they were drunk. I've had some alcohol and never been like, you know what I gotta do? Kick Paddington. You just don't do that to Paddington. Yeah, you just don't do that.

Uh, a judge on Tuesday chastised the duo, both military personnel for being antitheses of Paddington of everything Paddington stands. Damn right. Damn right. Yeah. Daniel Heath and William Lawrence, both 22 and engineers in the Royal Air Force, admitted in reading magistrate's court that they were responsible for the vandalism in Newbury, home of Paddington creator Michael Bond. Paddington bears a beloved cultural icon, with children and adults alike. Judge Sam Goosie said.

Goosie? Goosie said? Goosie? Goosie! Uh, he represents kindness, tolerance, and promotes integration and acceptance in our society. Your actions were the antitheses of everything Paddington stands for. I sentence you to death. They were the next to keep you. That would be amazing if he did!

The statue of the bear in his signature blue coat and red hat was one of 23 installed last fall as part of a Paddington trail across England to mark the release of Paddington in Peru. The introspective bear is gazing skyward while clutching a sandwich with marmalade about to drip on his lap, a classic. The judge noted that the label on Paddington's coat says, please look after this bear. Damn dude. They didn't look after him at all.

Prosecutors said Jamie Ranucca said the men were drunk during the escapade that was captured by a surveillance camera on the empty street just before 2 a.m. The two spirited away half of the statue in a taxi and returned to RAF Odeham, based where the purloin Paddington was later found in Lawrence's car. They really went with the alliteration on that. Yep. Guzie said the crime could, quote, only be described as an act of wanton vandalism and that the two had failed to uphold the respect

and integrity expected in the military, but especially of Paddington. The pair, who admitted criminal damage, were ordered to perform community work and each pay 2,725 pounds or $3,527 for repairs to the damaged statue and then executed. An RAF spokesperson said the service would consider the court's findings but that any discipline would not be disclosed because it would be a private matter. The statue is currently being repaired and will be reinstated, the Newbury Business Improved District said. Thank God.

Can you imagine going back to the barracks and your commander has to be like, you bloody donkeys. It's just Gordon Ramsey. Gordon Ramsey in charge. We brought Gordon Ramsey in to punish you for hurting poor Paddington. Probably like smother him in marmalade. Oh, that's a fitting, that's a fitting, you know what? In my court that's what would happen. We'd smother them in marmalade and throw them in a bear cage and see how they like it. Yep. You don't do that to Paddison.

Now that's pure medieval punishment. That's what we need. More shame and medieval punishment. Yeah that's what we need. Before that they'd have to do the thing like Game of Thrones, like smothered in marmalade, naked, walk through the streets. Walk through the streets to the zoo. Shame, shame. Little kids throwing stuff at them as they walk by. Mommy, I want to throw something at the main. Here you go. stuff at like you know just throwing stuff at him as they walk by mommy I want to throw something at the main here you go toss it hard you have bad intense now that's justice you know what that is

justice yeah just um yep and that's the big news story of the right. Well, that's it for us so much so much for listening So much for listening so much for listening Here's what the socials We've got socials youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast That's where you can find all these podcasts and drop your weather requests and your dear illustrious surs and hit the bell like comment Subscribe watch stuff. I don't know do whatever also you can go to YouTube.com slash Cox and crendor And that's where all the animations are a lot of good animations a lot of good stuff Also, we're on Spotify. We're on iTunes. We're on SoundCloud. We're all over the place also

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