Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 461 - Live Your Own Erotica

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

The boys are back and this time Crendor brings some more of his worldly observations from the gym and his brunch place. Oh, the joys of waking up at 1pm. Meanwhile Jesse probably shouldn't be allowed to go to brunch OR clean up his apartment. But at least he's learning things, so that's okay. Then are you curious what two old men think about Minecraft kids?! Of course you aren't, but we do it anyway. Then a man hides a turtle down his pants. Why?! THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION! All this an more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://buyraycon.com/cox to get 20% off sitewide.

Today's episode is brought to you by Raycon. Raycon has got those good earbuds for your ears. Now let's jump into this podcast! I'm live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, apparently you forgot the intro lies though I did I don't know why I forgot but I was also tired and it happens you know what if I forgot it this time which I didn't by the way if I did it's a cox and Crandoor show it's a show with cox and Crandoor and they do lots of the things that you like to listen to Cox and Crandoor for in the morning yep and then at the end it yeah it goes and then a robot she says good morning to you good morning yeah that's it so you got it you got what you wanted yeah there you go except it's not last week well you know it could be if you just mash the two episodes together play

them at the same time that's true honestly that's probably the best way to go about it these four guys are having a crazy conversation you know speaking of crazy conversations oh yes I heard one that was not like that crazy. So I don't know why I said that, but it was just a fun segue. Um, it was just, I was at the gym and there is this older couple walking in going to like the locker rooms and they're just talking about like I guess their business or what they're doing. And they're like 60s and the guy was just like I wrote it down quote if we had two more people like Gina I wouldn't even be worrying about this but

we don't we don't have two genus first off I don't know Gina but I automatically know Gina yes Gina gets shit done and I love Gina for that yeah so it's just from this The small paragraph you can put together Gina is the one that gets everything done like she's just like how do you need done? I got it everything and then there's the others Who you're like we're not Gina who do not get stuff done. Oh, no. I'm with this person and Honestly Gina's a rarity Right like it's this's like the mythical pull where it's like, oh my god, you found somebody that gets

the stuff done. But then there's, then you probably got like Bobby and like Beth and they're just like, oh sorry. Oh, Bobby and Beth? The two B's? Yeah. Oh, more like two D's because they're dumb and dumber. Oh yeah, no, I'm with them.

I'm with them. Oh, Bobby and Beth suck. Did you mail that letter? And there's like, what, what letter? And they're like, the letter I put on the desk the other day. And they're like, oh man, I meant to do that. It's like, Gina's like, don't worry, I did it.

He's like, oh, thank you, Gina. It's like, Bobby? I saw it was left there for three days and I know you said four days ago to mail it. So I took it upon myself to mail it. It's like's like Gina if I could give you a raise right now I would but I have to pay these other two idiots so I don't have the money yeah yeah oh I feel this at my core yeah this guy clearly runs a business whoever this man is oh yeah clearly runs a business and has to deal with multiple employees yeah

no no I understand this yeah so I wrote that down because I was like, it's a fun, you know, fun little thing for us, not for him. And then there's also, we went out to breakfast the other day and we sat behind this table of like, I don't know if they were like at a business meeting because we get we always get lunch at like brunch times or like 1 p.m. so like there's a lot of either old people or business people or like a mom with her like small child like that's usually the crowd or like sure just one singular old man being like I love brunch which will probably be you know me really that was me until toaster woman was like I'll get brunch I was like nice then we just get

brunch there was a time period was just you getting brunch by yourself yeah cuz cuz I was just like hey you know what I'm getting brunch no just do it and then we just started going she was like I wanna get brunch I was like all right and then we did I wonder if you was like, I wanna get brunch, I was like, alright. And then we did. I wonder if you could like, pick up ladies at brunch. You know what I mean? Cause in my imagination I think- I like how that is the first thing that goes into your mind. It's like, you're ever getting brunch, you're just like, what if I could find someone to

date or bang at brunch? Yeah, I mean like, what's, you know, what's wrong with that? Why can't I live my life, man? Why can't I just live my life? I'm just saying, if you, my question is, would it be cool to do that, or would every woman see you at like 12-15 eating breakfast being like, nah, this guy's a loser? What is the vibe? That's what I'm asking

I mean if they're saying you're a loser. They're also eating at 1215 Well, I meant like the waitress you know the staff the people that are forced to be there that can't get away from me What I'm like a girl You know yeah, those are the people they hate It's like I think she likes me. It's like no they just work there and want a tip and they can't yeah, but like I Got the tip for them So this is again the fact that your brain goes here is your first thought yeah, I Don't know what to think about

Look, I don't want to be thinking about food, because I'm very hungry, so I can't think about the food. I'm not going to ask what you ate, because I don't care right now, because it's going to make me hungry. I haven't had breakfast. So second off, I then was thinking, okay, well, if you go there by yourself, everyone thinks that it's, you know, kind of lonely to go out to eat dinner or see a movie by yourself or whatever.

Frankly, I'm fine with it. I love it. I do stuff by myself all the time. It's really fun. I don't need no one to be around. Right. So I was thinking, okay, then if I go there, what if there's a cute girl? What if I'm like, hey girl, you're pretty cute is what I would say apparently. And then I'd eat my breakfast like, damn, these pancakes almost as good as that cake you got stacked up in that boat right and then she'd be like oh my god you dirty right so then we start hitting it off and everything be cool but then I thought or I'm a lone man sitting at brunch at like noon on a Wednesday and she's gonna be like this guy doesn't even have a job so then she's not gonna be interested cuz you know

She's got it. She got to get that she got to get her bankroll up, dude. And so I'm like, it's okay girl It's okay. I'm an undercover lover and she'll be like, what do you mean by that? And then we'll like kick it off and she's like I thought you were broken. I'll be like That's what they all think but really this right here, this is a thousandaire. Is what I am. So, yum yum. So, right? That's what was going through my mind

when I asked the question. I had a lot of stuff I was thinking about. It sounds like you're writing your own erotic fan fiction about you. That is every day of my life. What are you talking about? If you don't wake up every day and write your own erotic fan fiction about you,

what are you doing? Are you even living? What's the matter with you? Yes. If you can't picture yourself erotically involved with everyone around you, then what is the point of living? I mean, there's probably numerous things

that are worth living for aside from the erotic fan fiction about yourself. Yeah, you're probably right. The most realistic scenario is you show up and you're like, hey, how's it going? And they go, oh, hey, it's this guy again. And they're like, he's pretty all right. And then it's like, here's your food. Do you want the same thing?

He's like, same as always. And they're like, all right. And then everyone just goes about their thing. And then maybe the old man starts being like I really like this place And they're like that's cool That's like it or they just let him talk like that's that's what it probably boils down to You're not wrong the real the reality is I'd go be like hey everybody sit down eat my food and leave None of what I said would actually happen but it's the dream crendor the dream of my own erotica

sometimes you gotta wake up from the dream you know what false ignore that listener ignore that sometimes you have to wake up from your dream? No, false. Sometimes you stay asleep. Sometimes when you wake up and you see how messed up everything is in the world, you say, not today Satan, and you put your head back down that pillow and you go back to bed and you dream sweet dreams because sometimes she'd be out of control and you don't want to deal with it, and that sometime has become all the time. And so I'm just gonna live my dream, okay?

I'm just gonna live it. Don't take this from me. Just saying, alright? If your dream is like the play in the NBA, and you're like 39 years old, and like not even making it into the first like you know G-League or something like you should probably just wake up. Or you're not going to have an airbug movie. Or make your own league.

Make your own professional league. Plan that. You can do it. I mean I don't know how well it would go. You just need money, which is really just life in general. If you have money, you can kind of just do whatever you want. Yeah. It's the, uh...

What is the old person association AARP? N-B-A-A-R-P is what it is. Alright, yeah. And it's for 40 plus people, and it's basketball. You make your own league, and you do it that way. Don't let Cranador tell you what you can't do. N-B-A-A-R-B. You can do this. I think that's just like the YMCA leagues.

I think they are going to do that. It's just- But it's official because you made it and now you can say you're in the NBA. Don't let Crendor tell you what you can't do. That's true. You just need a small investment of several million dollars and you can make this happen. That's true. I don't know why I was so messed up in my thought process. It's because you don't live every day like it's your own erotic fan fiction and that's your problem my man. It's true. This is what we just talked about

this not like erotic fan fiction but, but on stream yesterday we talked more about the hypotheticals. Which we, I brought it up a few months ago. Whoa, whoa, what do you mean? How like, Toaster Woman or like people just be like, Krendor, what would you do if you were stranded on an island and like, there was nothing to eat? Or like, somebody in chat yesterday was like, what would you do if you went into a library and then there was just like, one book and it was just how to make dice out of bones and I was like alright number one why would there be a library like this number two why would they have

one book number three I'm probably gonna be sacrificed in some like satanic ritual so like there's more questions. Dice out of bones is the only book in the library? Yeah like whose library is this? that's what I'm saying. I don't know. And then people are like, it's a reference to a thing. I'm like, I don't care. This is what I've been. Okay. When you ask a hypothetical question, there's like so many different layers to it that aren't being answered. And I just want to know those layers. All right. It's like, that's what I brought up the other month where I said, somebody asked me if this was your what would you have for your last meal and the like whatever your last meal and I was like well there's a lot

of factors like why is it my last meal am I hungry or not hungry maybe I'm not gonna eat I'm probably too stressed to even eat right you've complained about this before and the reasoning is sound if it was real, but it's a hypothetical. And so they're literally just saying, pick one or the other, or answer this in a way that isn't complicated. But I can't answer in a way because it doesn't make sense to me, because there's no ad, like, it just doesn't make sense. But when they say your last meal, I think the question for you, because you, again,

do not live life as though you're in your own erotic fanfic. So you're not living on that wavelength. I think you need a question that's more akin to what would your perfect meal be? That would probably be a better question, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, for you, that simplifies it. I'm not asking, there's no scenario involved, there's not like, what is your perfect meal?

If you had to sit down and eat the thing you wanted to eat the most at that moment, and it could be from anywhere and a combination of anything, what would that be? But even then, it would depend on how I'm feeling. Because some days, I want one thing, other days I want another. So it would have to be like in the moment. Well then, today.

Today, right now. Today? If you had to spawn in, if you were hungry, assuming you were hungry. Yeah, I'm not hungry right now, I just ate. What would you spawn in immediately? If you had the power to do like a Star Trek, where they immediately make the food and it just appears. What would that food be for you? It's your favorite. Go. Um, all right. I would... Oh man, thinking. You know what? I'd probably just have the

Alinea dishes again from the first Alinea visit. Okay. All right. Look at that, easy, done. There we go, see, yeah, see that's all I need. I just need some sort of definitive, like scenario. There's a lot of times the scenario's too open-ended. I need close-ended scenarios. That's what people don't understand. Again, again, everyone listening,

Krendor isn't in our world of potential erotic fan-fishing. Krendor is in a confined box of no erotica whatsoever. So he needs you to be confined like him. And it's crazy in this box. You gotta step your foot in that crazy box. You gotta dive in and answer his questions on his level. Yeah. Like this box is like the fifth dimension. You don't know what's going on. So not necessarily a box. Yeah, it might not even be a box. Once you get into the box, it might not even be a box at all. Once you're in my plane of existence. The box unfolds into, yeah. I did eat my second breakfast today. You laughed at me for my second breakfast. I was going to mention it because yeah right before we did this you said hold up finishing my second

breakfast which again your hobbit lifestyle very funny to me yes but I I'm curious what this was compared to your first breakfast right what were the two breakfasts you ate today because I'm gonna imagine not actually a lot okay so my first breakfast is usually like 30 minutes after I wake up. Usually I'll like wake up a bit. All right, be like, all right, I'm going. Then I make coffee and I have a like,

what do you call them, a kind bar. Okay, it's a- Fruit, nut, chocolate, whatever, yeah. It's got like peanuts and almonds and chocolate and it's good with coffee. It's got some fiber in there, you know. I'm like, alright. And then, wait a couple hours.

Then I have my... So hold on, hold on. Your first breakfast is basically a snack. Yeah, it's like a snack breakfast. But it's still a meal, right? It's still breakfast. Sure. Alright, yeah.

You have coffee and a kind bar. I get it. Second breakfast is the full normal breakfasts And I've woken up digestive systems got a little more, you know rolling so then I make oatmeal with They got like that thing. It's like granola and flax seeds and shit all mixed together So I put some of that in there and then I have like one scoop of peanut butter I kind of solidifies it, adds more like carbs and

fiber. Right? Stir that up and then make another coffee and then usually I'll have like a English muffin as well. They got these, they got really good English muffins at Whole Foods. They're like stone ground English muffins. They're good. Check them out. Okay. And then they sell this jelly or jam or whatever and it's got it's got a bear on it. All right. And they use actual fruit. So you got like actual chunks of the fruit in there. I don't remember which one it is but like I don't know if it's called jelly or whatever. So I have some of that on there. That's really good. I either get raspberry or strawberry those are the best ones all right it's got a bear on it okay and that's my second breakfast

those are my two breakfasts I like that that's fine those are those are sensible breakfasts I think when people think first and second breakfast they think like I woke up had eggs bacon toast waited a few hours, and then had a sandwich and some home fries and that kind of stuff. Really, you just nibbled. Yeah, no, it's more so I try to have multiple smaller meals and by multiple I mean like my five meals of the day because if I eat too big of meals it upsets my

digestive system. One, because I don't got a gallbladder, but two, I think my body just handles smaller meals better. It's like less stress. I get it. I completely, I mean, I've definitely have like, I don't know what's going on lately. I think because of just everything being so much more expensive, I've been doing a lot of just at home cooking. And so I've kind of given up trying to, you know, mess around with various fast foods or dining out for a little bit here,

just because there's, like, right now if you go to restaurants in LA, you will see the prices are the same, but when you get your bill, at the bottom, there'll be like a 40% tariff fee. You know, like what? They're tariffing you in the restaurants? I'm like, yeah, what the hell is this?

So, I'm not gonna do that anymore. I'm just gonna go to the grocery store and buy stuff for the foreseeable future, and it's been working out fine. Like I got a very nice loaf of bread, and then I was cutting the bread and making like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with like that good peanut butter

that some old man ground and like sold at the farmer's market. So I'm like, yeah. So that's a real peanut butter. And then I'm using a, it doesn't have a bear on it, but it's like a marmalade. It's like an orange marmalade thing. That's very good. And so I'm making sandwiches and the bread, it's got an orange marmalade thing that's very good and so I'm making

sandwiches and the bread you know it's got extra fiber stuff in it it's got seeds and so I'm doing that whole thing for breakfast it's kind of what I'm doing it's PB&J dude I get the once again peanut butter it's got a raccoon on it that's the good stuff it's the type they only put peanuts and like salt in it that's it. The thing is, some of those, the one that I got from this guy, the reason why I bought it from him is because I did a taste test, and it tasted like the peanut butter I remember eating as a kid. Some of those peanut butters, they sell at Whole Foods especially, or any of those, we're not going to sell you Jif or Skip or whatever. Those peanut butters are always,

they have a layer of oil on the top and they always don't taste like how I think peanut butter should taste. Well you gotta stir it up. Oh no, I understand. I get it, you stir, you stir, you stir, and then you put it on your bread and it doesn't have the same taste.

And I want it to, cause it's much healthier, it just doesn't have the same taste. So I don't know what this dude at the farmers market did, but his tastes like how I remember peanut butter being. And I don't know if he's like secretly spiking it with something. I don't care because he's like, it's just the peanuts and I put the oil in and I grind it in this machine and here you go. And I'm like, you know what? I don't know how you're doing this, but it tastes delicious. So that's where I'm at mentally at the moment, is that. And then, you know, I've been trying to make meals

that will last a while, so I made, I think last time we talked, we made spaghetti, and that lasted for like three days. And yeah, right now I'm making my way through a very interesting order of factor meals that I got. Not sponsored this week at all, but like, it was, they have a bunch of ones that basically you can make into dips. And so I've been, like, I got one factor meal

that was like a chicken bacon spinach thing, and then I would use tortilla chips and scoop it in. It was like, that's real bad. I'm like, screw it, I'm just gonna have fun at home. And so that's what I've been doing. It has been an issue with the amount of cleaning I had to do. You know, the psychopath cleaning.

So every time I cook at home, I don't wait. I immediately am like, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean. And I realized that I was boiling water on the stove and I guess it like overflowed a little bit and it hit the, you know how above a gas stove there's metal, I don't know, grating, tiling, whatever, so stuff doesn't get hit by the flame. So anyway, water hit that and because my meticulous nature

was like, oh, I gotta clean it immediately, I probably should have waited. Because obviously my apartment complex, while very nice, isn't like the highest quality of the world. So I started scrubbing the water like stain that was on like, you know, the boiled water hit the hot thing and then immediately evaporated and left a mark. So I tried to wipe it. Damn thing started wiping off the actual black coloring of the place where you set your pan down on. So now it's like gray.

And I was like, I probably shouldn't have done that. So, you know, I'm learning things, which is not great, but yeah. Yeah, learning things, never great. Yeah, yeah, well, not in this case. I would have rather had very nice looking, this like pure black tiling or whatever it is, not tiling, but grating above my oven,

than, I mean, it definitely looks like it's been used now, that's for sure. I'm like, oh boy. Yeah. But the aesthetics of my very clean home are now ruined by the fact that above the stove are these just very gray stained. I'm like, oh god. Yeah, I've been trying to...

Whatever. I've been trying to cook more too. I like making paninis. Those are easy. Because you just usually... Ooh, do you have a panini press? Yeah, we got a panini press. What? Yeah, it was only like 30 bucks or something. Got it years ago. Oh,

that's fun. I was curious if you just decided I want paninis or you had the panini press and then we're like screw it we should start making paninis. No, yeah we got it years ago to make paninis because I remember eating them at like Panera but then eating at Panera would give me digestive pain probably because it's Panera. That sounds right. I was like I could really just make this at home and it'll probably taste better as well. So I did and it did taste better and didn't hurt my digestive system. And so yeah yeah you just go to the store got some sourdough bread all right get some cheese. I like to use Munster cheese. I think it melts well. I like a good Munster. Good stuff. Yeah. Usually I get some arugula. I like to use Munster cheese. I think it melts well. I like a good Munster. Good stuff.

Usually I get some arugula. I like to actually throw the arugula on the panini press for like 10 seconds, like kind of grill it up. To char it up? Dude. Who are you right now? Okay, panini man. You scoop that onto the cheese before you even press it.

That way you get a little melt action right away. All right. Get some cherry tomatoes, cut them in half. All right. Put those on there. Then sometimes I'm feeling onions. Sometimes I'm not. I will also try to like grill those up on it too. Just a little caramelization.

You know what I'm saying? Then- Is this meat free? Yeah, I don't actually use meat on it. I used to- Whoa, okay. Used to buy the lunch meat, not the deli meat, but the actual pricier,

they're like, this is healthier lunch meat. But then I was like, I don't even need that. So I just didn't even use it. And then you put another thing of cheese and then I put on the bottom side of the bread, the horseradish sauce. Love horseradish with the mustache man? Yeah, with the mustache man, yes.

Love mustache man, horseradish, that's the best. So put some of that on there, it's a little kick, right? And then you just throw it on there for a bit, flip it over and then boom, you got panini. I'll usually eat two, just because. Damn. First off, sounds delicious. Second off, I'm shocked by your ability to be like,

no, I decided no meat, because I have a problem, and I don't know what it is. If I, let's say for dinner, I have a salad, right? If I have a salad and there's no meat or bread on there, all I want in my brain is meat and bread. And it will be hours later, I'm like, yo, I'm so hungry, what if I got like meat and bread? But if I had a meat and bread dish,

hours later I'd be like, what if I got a salad though? And so I'll end up going with that sort of like salad with meat on it with a slice of bread or whatever they give you is I need all of those components or else I will have hours later just an incredible desire if I get like a salad it's meat and salad I need bread interesting because like I don't feel the need for the meat my dad is very much always like everything's got to have meat or like bread or potato like he's that person but like or rice I need rice or potato or bread for sure I need that yeah ah just like I don't know that's enough for me

and then I'll actually have sometimes I'll have some chips with it and then I buy like kimchi in a jar. I'll have some of that. I like the kimchi. So I mean you're definitely filling out the get as much as possible in your body to fill yourself up. But beyond that, you can give me eight gallons, gallons? Gallons of salad. Eight gallons of salad, yeah.

And I would try to eat all of it and I'd still be like, I just want a steak, dude. I don't know. You liquefied the salad? You took eight gallons of salad and liquefied it? Yeah, we blended it down. I've actually, you know what? I've had enough fruit juices and things in my life that are mostly kale at this point to say, yeah, I probably have. I probably had blended salads before,

which is a very, I'm not sure what it's like. Again, I've been in LA for, God, since 2012, however long that is, I don't wanna think about it. And before then, going to a place that served just juice wasn't really a thing. I mean, there was like Jamba juice and things, but those were mostly sugar, you know? Just getting a weird juice mixed with all sorts

of weird stuff wasn't as huge as it is now. And so I never really had experience with it outside of LA, so I don't know what the rest of the country or world is doing in the juice world, but in LA, there is a juice bar on every corner almost, and it's filled with people that again look like me, that definitely are like, yeah, no, if I drink juice, I'll lose weight. And it's like, dude, you gotta do something else besides that because it's not helping. And everyone is drinking the juice and loving the juice,

and the juice is the thing. But also, it seems kind of douchey. Yes, it does. And so I'm not really big on drinking a lot of juice, but I will, I'm not against it. But it seems like, you have to have my morning matcha, lacha, kale, acai, peanut butter, banana smoothie with extra chia seeds and you're like do you though? Do you? It's like it's only $24 and you're ah, okay. I'm not a big smoothie pro.

I don't really like liquified food. Like maybe if I'm, you know, if I'm sick or like, like when I have my wisdom teeth out, I'm like, all right, cool, I'll have this. But not like as an everyday thing. Like I'd rather eat foods that I have to like chew, you know? I just prefer it. I never eat foods that I have to chew, you know? I just prefer it. Do you deal with boba the same way?

I mean, like what, chewing the boba balls? That's the reason why I would much rather prefer liquid than liquid that shoots balls in my mouth. Well, I don't really mind that. That's more like an addition to the liquid thing. Like usually Toast Room will get it and then I'll have some of it. And that's, I don't have like a whole one.

I'll just have like a fifth of hers. And then that's that. Do you like the boba in the tea? Yeah, I don't mind it. I could have it without, but like I don't mind it with it either. I'm not one of those people where it's Yeah, I don't mind it. I could have it without, but I don't mind it with it either. I'm not one of those people where it's like I don't like textures. I like texture.

It's just one of the things where I don't want to have that every day. Because I like having different foods and variety of foods and different... Okay, alright. Because there's some people that are like, I can't eat slimy things. It makes me gag. That's me. I hate I hate them Hate it slime instant gag reflex every time the slimier and boba fits that slime Perfectly it's I do not like it at all and and the worst part is is You'll be sucking on that damn thing, and then you just get a shot in the mouth. I'm like. I don't like this

I don't want this on that damn thing and then you just get a shot in the mouth. I'm like, I don't like this. I don't want this. And you can take that out of context because it stands that way too. I don't like this. I don't want this. Um, so yeah. And then after that I'll have like, we'll have dinner and then usually our dinners are like one of a few things. We'll have like either, uh, we've been having a lot of sweet potato quesadillas recently those are good we got that from like a hello fresh fresh hello fresh hello fresh or something we'll have like chicken pasta

with like parmesan I got like some zucchini in there tomatoes that's pretty good we had like shrimp tacos or pork taco like alternate because you don't want too much like red meat and then sometimes we'll just have like shrimp tacos or pork taco like alternate because you don't want too much like red meat and then Sometimes we'll just have like a frozen pizza like a margarita pizza But like it's kind of the you know not really feeling anything else that night So yeah, like a few different things we kind of cycle through for dinner, too All right, yeah. I'm here for that. And then, uh, and then I'll have like a late

night like banana and some peanut butter almond milk. A little more there. Then so usually throughout the day I might have my, one of my protein thingies too. Just for a little protein boost. That's mainly it. That's like my diet. Yeah. Look at you. Look at you. You know what? I'm impressed. This is also why you're not a big buff man. Yes. Yeah, look at you. Look at you. You know what? I'm impressed. This is also why you're not a big buff man. Yes. Well, you don't have nearly as much, yeah, you don't have nearly as much good stuff in there.

You're eating like a healthy dude. We need to get you some more Five Guys. Make you eat a bunch of Wendy's chicken sandwiches. You know, just go to restaurants and only buy french fries you just you're not you gotta you gotta bulk up dude i don't know when we talked about this on stream this is what we talked about at some point first up i can't do that because it's gonna destroy my arteries all right i've got borderline that's kind of the point i've got borderline blood pressure. So if you start doing that, alright, I'm gonna be going into a hypertensive crisis. I don't want that. Alright? And then you start getting just more digestive issues, the IBS kicks in harder.

Like I don't need that. That's why I'm eating how I because I could bulk up get crazier but I don't want it I like I like being that where I am I think it's healthier I like being where I am I like being where I am no we don't need any dreams we're just in reality we're in the box the fifth dimension right in my mind the box you're in is like the end of interstellar yeah I can see it I'm just like I follow your path of just eating

five guys and I'm just like in the box like don't do it stop no you're begging on the wall yeah yeah also I didn, no! Yeah, that's you. Also, I didn't even get to the point I had about the brunch people I was behind. I think you wanted the ironic fan picture. There was a point? Okay, yeah. I was behind this group of business people, and the one dude there was like, he had a scarf on,

he was like, very fancy. And he was just like, there was a bird on my window and he was tap tap tapping and he woke me up and that was how I started my morning. Tap tap tapping and he said it just like that. So I wrote down tap tap bird on window and I was like dude if there's a bird tapping on my window I'd be like god shut up! I wouldn't be like ah the bird I feel like that's romanticized way of waking up though yeah the idea of nature waking you and you're well rested

enough that you're like ah morning the sound of a bird rapping upon my windows hill as I start the day fresh and new. Like I can get it, I get it. Again, that's what happens when you live in a world where you live out your own erotic fantasies. Yeah, but at the same time, the guy, they were getting up to leave and then the same guy mentioned his sleep and somebody else was like, yeah, I didn't sleep well last night. And he was like, I only sleep four to five hours a night, and I have for the last 20 years.

And I was like, that's not good. I, uh, I disagree. I think it's a great thing. Getting four to five hours of sleep, getting woken up by a bird? You know, cause nature said you should have gone to bed earlier. Damn. He's right. He's right. I know. He's right.

Nature was like, if you're going to do this, you've got to do it earlier, dum dum. So there you go. You know what? I think in my 50s or 60s, I'm just going to become a yogi. It's much more fun to do that. Yeah. You want to be that guy. You want to be the guy who just has answers to questions no one's asking.

I'll just be that guy making like yoga videos for people. It's just like today we'll do our 20 minute wake up routine to get the body out of its state of paralysis. The funny part is your videos will come out at like 5pm. Yeah. I wake up 1pm. Yeah, but it's gonna take time to make the video, then edit the video, then upload the video. I'll be like a day ahead. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. Oh my god, did you see all the Minecraft movie stuff?

I did see it all. People were getting very upset. And part of me completely understands, I think the idea of bringing a chicken or whatever the hell they were doing to a theater or setting off fireworks or destroying the theater itself is a bad move and I don't approve of that. However, young kids being excited and cheering

and some of the other videos I saw, them going crazy and running around to the theater, I just don't care about that. Like if that's, honestly, if anything, that probably makes the movie better for what it is. So yeah, I'm kind of mixed, of a mixed mind on that. Some of it's a little too much, but some of it I'm fine with and

Theaters are finally filled with people again. So well, I think movie theaters are thrilled I think the people working at the movie theaters are the less thrilled one The people have to deal with everything the actual people that own the movie theaters like this is great The people have to deal with everything the actual people that own the movie theaters like this is great so that you know going in there with a mop and Garbage can at the end of every Minecraft movie and then having to turn on the lights and be like if you guys you know One more time I'm turning the movie off of course I sympathize with the actual employees in the theaters cleaning up the messes But I did work in a movie theater and then movies, you know, this would have been the year 2000, I think people were still rowdy at movies then. And I still had to clean

up a lot of popcorn and stuff. I think that just comes with the job. And I really don't have a, you know, a big problem with people being excited in throwing popcorn. If it's a stupid movie, like Minecraft. You know, going back to Interstellar for example, I don't want that to happen during that movie. That would be a weird experience. Right. But the Minecraft movie where people are like, it's a chicken jockey and they're losing their minds. I'm fine with that. If they want to get crazy and stand up and cheer. Again, I'm not cool with them lighting fireworks and having a real chicken in the theater That's animal cruelty and you know, just destroying the seats and things like that's not cool. But You know, I was there I that's a job

I worked and I would simply say that popcorn on the ground that comes with the territory It's it's not every theater clearly and it's just some stuff online that a lot of it was done to be posted online. I would say, yeah, most of these people are just doing this for internet content. Sure. Which, again, the problem boils down more to the internet content being so prevalent and rewarding. They're like, dude, it's gonna get viral hits. It's just a prank, bro. Like it becomes that.

And that's why those kids that brought the chicken, I think that's pretty messed up. Yeah, no, it's... Because they did that just to, you know, have the whole internet viral thing. When I think the first couple of videos that came out were pretty honest in what they were. And it was just people being really excited and freaking out and like a few people threw popcorn,

but that's kind of what-evs. Yeah. It's later it became, all right, everyone's watching these videos. Let's get crazy. It's like, all right, no, that's stupid. Yeah. It's again, yeah, not a lot lot of these are kid like the kids are just watching being like yeah, right, but it's like quote kids which are like Probably old enough to know what they're doing Making these decisions primarily for viral internet content. Yeah, I know and I disagree with that I think that is is trash. Again, like the footage I saw of people setting off fireworks, that's stupid. You should be kicked out for that.

Yeah. I'm also not the audience for the Minecraft movie. Oh, I haven't seen it. I probably will never see it. Yeah, it doesn't affect me at all. Yeah, so for those who see it, enjoy it, I guess. I'm telling you, I would imagine most people are not going to have the experience of people screaming and shouting in their theater. It just won't happen. Yeah, or they might just yell. The normal response is people in the theater will probably just be like, yeah. That's probably it. Look, I saw some guy, I don't know if he was regal president or AMC or someone, was saying that they were thinking about making theaters designed specifically for people who want to like vape and text and all those things. And honestly, do it.

Yeah. Might as well. I would rather have theaters marked with, you can't do any of that in this theater. Go to this other theater so that the young kids who want to like halfway watch a movie but also text their friends can do that. Go nuts. Make the crazy kid theater. I will not go to a theater again.

Again, I haven't been to one in a while. I won't go to the theater again until Again, I haven't been to one in a while. I won't go to the theater again until they make some sort of ground rules and enforce them because like I've said before, every movie I've seen the last two years has been just unbearable theater experience. There's always two or three people just not ready for prime time who are there acting a fool. And I'm like, I can't, I can't do this. I can barely focus on the movie.

And it's not like home where you can throw on subtitles and then be like, oh, I got it. I'll watch what's going on. But if I get caught up in something, I can look at the screen, catch up really quick. That's not, that's not a movie that you gotta pay attention and hear what's happening. And you know, I can't do that when there's a dude

in front of me on his phone. Yeah. and you know I can't do that when there's a dude in front of me on his phone yeah it's luckily the last times we've gone to see movies we usually go at like a Wednesday at like 9 p.m. so like there's never really anybody there usually after a movie's been out for a bit so with the one time we went there's only like one or two other people there. Last time there was literally nobody else there when we saw... I don't even remember what movie it was. We saw some... Oh, Sonic! We saw Sonic with literally nobody in the theater.

Sonic 3? Amazing. I haven't seen that either. Yeah, so I mean... It probably depends when you go. If you go at like... 5pm on a... Friday or something, it's gonna be crazy, but I'm telling you, Wednesday, 9 p.m., best time. That's prime movie night.

I mean, I do have a movie theater right next to me, and I could at any point go see a movie, but I just make the decision to not, because in my mind, I'm like, well, it's almost summer, so I'll be traveling a bunch like I always do. And on those flights, I got to have something to watch, so I might as well have the most possible movies to watch. So I just won't watch any in theaters.

That's where I'm at right now. There's nothing that's dragging me to a theater. There's nothing that says I got to see this right now. There just isn't. I mean, that's fair enough. I get that. You just isn't. I mean that's fair enough. I get that. You know, you're trying to conserve entertainment. Yeah, I mean have you ever been stuck in a 12 hour flight with nothing new to watch? Dear God, it's the worst. No, I have not. Mainly because- That's right, you haven't. You've never suffered that. The

longest flight I had was the England one. It was only like seven hours. Now it's already long enough for me. That's when I watched like interstellar and Paddington which phenomenal The back-to-back experience that's probably life-changing Interstellar and Paddington. Yeah, what is time? What is space? What is love? I think I also saw the Jungle Book live-action Which was okay? That is a solidly okay movie. That's a very good example. It's okay. It's fine. It's okay.

What else did I watch in that play? I also watched... It was like an award-winning movie. Was it like Birdman? Is that a movie? Birdman is the one where Michael Keaton, I believe, thinks he's a superhero? I think that's the one. Is that the one that's like one continuous shot?

Oh, I don't know about that. I feel like it was something like that. It was like a movie. I think it was Birdman though. I think I watched that. Is it the one? It might have been. Maybe, because I feel like that's the one where she looks out the window at the end.

She's like, wow. Yeah. And I think that might be one continuous shot i don't remember though but yeah that's definitely the one where he's like i'm a superhero and everyone's like no you're not you're crazy oh this said with a brief exception bird man is presented as though it's filmed in one continuous take so yeah even if it isn't and they make it seem like it is then yes, that's probably okay. Yeah, I watch that I Honestly don't remember much about

Except for the one premise. I just said I don't remember much about it like If you wanted me to ask like a play-by-play that movie. I got nothing for you. Yeah, I definitely remembered more padding than than anything So no, you. Yeah, I definitely remembered more padding than anything. Um, so no. You know what else I remember? It's April. I know Mother's Day is a bit away, but why not get all the planning done now instead of last minute cards and loan flowers from the convenience mark down the street?

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Right now Raycon is offering up to 20% site wide. When you buy again on raycon.com slash co, C-O-X, buy Raycon.com slash Cox. All right, let's go traffic out there. Oh man, traffic, let me tell you, there's so much traffic, it's like back to back, back to back, back. There's so many backs that you don't even know the backs, if you saw it.

I don't know what I just said. So there's a lot of cars out there. It's getting warmer out Looking down at the 408 looks like the 408s can be backed up all the way to the 603 But if you take the side roads, that's gonna be half the time, but you will have to pass numerous buildings that are Man I don't know where I'm going with this. There's a lot of traffic out there. Back to you. You didn't know where you were going the same way. There was a guy this past week in front

of me. I don't even know how I would describe this man, but it was like an older gentleman going 15 in a 45 in a, one of those old wood paneling station wagons and the back of his car was filled with like 50 plants. They're hanging out the back. They're hanging out the windows. There's leaves blowing in the wind as he's driving 15 miles down the road. Again, 15 in into 45. I'm stuck behind him and I'm waiting to, you know, people are zooming past us and I can't get beyond him. So I'm patiently waiting, patiently waiting. Finally, there's no cars. I get into the right-hand lane. I think, okay, finally I'm past this guy. Because he's also like swerving a little. So I don't know what this dude's vibe is. So I just want to not be behind him.

And as I start to pass him, traffic slows on my lane. Of course it does. And so this guy, he goes up one, two, three, four, five cars, and then pulls over into the same lane that I'm in. So now I'm backed up by him and five cars behind him. So everyone's trying to get now around this guy who's in the right hand lane now. So I'm trying to wait my turn. Meanwhile, cars are piling up behind me, trying to get behind, you know, beyond

this guy. So everyone's trying to get over into the middle lane now and no one can cause everyone's trying to do it. So people are trying to fight. Dude, I must stress one person can absolutely ruin traffic and this guy was that one person It was the longest ride I've ever had I was like, dude Why are you driving so slow it was crazy those plants are probably like his children Right. Probably doesn't want the leaves to blow off. I mean I look I understand it rolled the damn window then my man

I have no idea what's going on there You don't understand they're gonna die Yeah, that was that was that was wacky. It was a weird weird drive. Not a fan Do you think that man has a house full of plants as well? I? Wonder if that car was his house. I'll be honest, I don't know. That's true, yeah, he might just be living in the car. Maybe, because that was a lot.

It wasn't just a few plants he bought, or a few plants he was moving. It was a jungle in the back of his car. The front part was the seat that he was in and a passenger seat that I think had his wife question mark. She looked old but also like a child so I don't know what was going on there. And then the back where you would have the back seats and then the trunk space all plants. Just like I said maybe 50 plants. Dude I got a question yes do you think there's the type of person like this is what I like these people all right that

they love plants so much that they only eat meat ah first off I don't think that person exists but also I think that's hilarious Like the end I would love yeah I would love for one of those meat bros who only it's like meat and butter right make a video It's like the reason I do this isn't because I think meat and butter is better It's because I don't eat plants their living things, and I love them Yeah, it's like never harm me everyday animals are trying to kill us and eat us plants They don't want to do that plants are just living living their lives and I don't want to eat them. Dude, I'm telling you. This, the plant car guy, if anybody's gonna be that, it's him.

Like this man- He's my children! These are literally his children. He loves plants. Anytime he sees them, like, cutting the grass, he's like... It's like his heart's getting ripped from his chest. He's they're killing the grace his neighbors always complained about his lawn it's out of control Philip he's like fine so he moved he moved all the stuff into a car and he's like now I don't have a lawn you think it's out of control the way nature just lives and grows naturally you're out of control humanities out of control yeah I would love that I want that to be someone's new viral tick-tock where they're just

like guys it's not even about the meat it's about saving plants they give us oxygen that's how we breathe I'm very health conscious I need to breathe yeah they're photosynthesizing That's like the guy who's like one step away from being a super villain Like you'd get married the poison ivy or something. I was about to say it's basically poison ivy. We've created Basically yeah, but she needs somebody to like work with that would be this guy the children planes but be this guy the children planes the check I don't like that just that's his villain name children plants help he's the guy with children plan then he

turns his plants into his like henchmen right right right but instead of pants they wear pots yes they're like bottom yeah legs brought out the bottom and they grow out the top but but to cover their plant junk, they wear pots, obviously. Yeah. That'd be great.

Yep. They should really pay us to write and come up with things. Anything, yeah, anything. Like, you're right, they pay us to come up with things. Yeah. What kind of things? You know, things. Anything.

That we come up with. Yeah. That's the traffic all right let's go to weather we got weather requests for but but but but I typed in wedger that's not right we all right we are cycling through the weather here it is we are going to land on ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne boom boom Marsa, Marsa Scala Malta the heck it is a

small seaside town which is 90% of all towns in Malta, whose highlight that Jamie Oliver once filmed an episode for a cooking show here in 2010. Currently, residents include one ex-prime minister and one ex-president. Landmarks of the place include the ex-national pool of Malta, the abandoned Jerma Palace Hotel, what? Fort St. Thomas, which was built in 1614 by the Hospitaller Knights and the restaurant Summer Knights.

All right. I went to go try to find the abandoned hotel immediately because that sounds amazing. But hilariously, the warm-up Jerma, or whatever the hell this is, when you look it up, the first image you find is just a giant image of Golem from Lord of the Rings. I guess they painted him on the outside, I guess? I don't know that's the first thing I see Here it is weather for Marska Marsa Scala Malta 17 degrees Fahrenheit damn it's cold this Fahrenheit What the heck I thought it's gonna be like 70 or something it was like

Tropical I mean it's right on the water so you would you would imagine wait this has to be there's no way hold on what it's in the Mediterranean it's right it's like right on the water in the Mediterranean you would imagine the wind chill is crazy there yeah but not like okay it was on Great Britain weather we were using okay it's 60 Celsius yeah we're using Celsius it is 62 Fahrenheit freedom units thank God we're back to normal 82% humidity 30.05 inches of pressure 9 mile visibility 6 mile an

hour winds 56 on the dew point UV index zero and a full moon 6 631 am sunrise, 733 pm sunset. Uhh, 10 day. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. Uhh, 69, nice tomorrow, mostly cloudy with some sun. Monday, 69, cloudy wind. Tuesday, 72 partly cloudy. Wednesday, 71 partly cloudy. Thursday, 66, mostly sunny. Friday, 68 sunny. Saturday, 69 nice 72 partly cloudy, Wednesday 71 partly cloudy, Thursday 66 mostly sunny, Friday 68 sunny, Saturday 69 nice partly cloudy, Sunday 68 mostly sunny, and Monday 68 mostly sunny. I was going to say, it's like 17 degrees here, it's like snow on a beach.

I have a lot of questions about this entire place because it doesn't appear like, I guess because it's such a small island town-wise, it's very small. So there's only so many roads and so many houses and there's barely any restaurants. Most of them are either pizza places or pasta places or little bistros. Oh yeah, I see that. However, they do have a bar that's called Bat, and I can't tell if that's a mistake. Because there's no reviews for it, there's no nothing, it just says Bat. I was like, oh okay, Bat, cool. They also have Legends Restaurant, and I was like oh I wonder what Legends restaurants like the interior is just giant wall size I guess that's supposed to be David Bowie but also what looks like Peaky Blinders the aesthetic is crazy this is this is but

also the food looks like fresh seafood, so I'm down for it. Just very... the vibe of the whole area is bizarre to me, but I've never ever been, so I wouldn't, you know, I don't have a clue what any of, you know, that little tiny island is. Yeah, there's a place called Mini Blowhole. Well, of course there is. And it's a rock, it's got water, looks like a blowhole.

I guess that's why. Summer Nights Grillin' Pub. Oh yeah, that's what they mentioned, Summer Nights. Lookin' at it right now. Teachers, what? Teachers Highland Cream? Mm, that could can get you fired I don't know yeah but also they it's a it's a totally I love when other countries try to

incorporate food from around the world into one single restaurant because it's always insane yeah summer nights pub and grill you can get just steak, like literally steak, that's it on the plate with two slices of lemon as far as I can see, a burger with I guess potatoes, pizza, you can get a complete fried sampler platter, and then for some insane reason, a ham? Just like a big hunk of ham? Yeah, I see that. And what I'm going to assume is coleslaw next to it, but it does not look appetizing. It looks like

pure mayo. It looks like a bucket of mayo they put there. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't even know what that is. But also nachos. You can get nachos here yeah I see those it's just like it's a bizarre concoction of foods that again I don't one of the nachos straight up just looks like they poured mayo on it and I don't know what that's supposed to be I don't know why that exists yeah it's worrying yeah some of the things look good some are like yeah that's all it's all too, like all the meat, the steaks and stuff, look delicious. But then the chicken, I look at the chicken, I'm like,

that is, that chicken looked like it died again. That chicken has second death. That does not look appetizing at all. But then the next photo underneath it is this glorious looking piece of meat. Yeah, no, it's definitely one of those places where they're like, you gotta know what to order. Like, oh, okay.

Clearly. Like, yeah. That is very... a lot, like, you know, they got the corner view, family restaurant. And again, seafood, burgers, pizza, pasta, breakfast, nachos. I genuinely question what the... I feel like every restaurant is trying to be everything. Yeah. Cause it's probably all tourists.

It's a Beano's and they're serving everything. Telling you it's all for tourists clearly. Although nevermind I found a place called Big Butt Burgers one town over and it's burgers, but also pizza, but also sandwiches, but also like, he can't be everything. Oh yeah, Big Butt Burgers. There it is. Roger's Bakery. Please tell me Roger's Bakery is just a bakery.

It is. Oh, thank God. It actually looks like a bakery that just sells bakery stuff. Great. Although the area it's in, as far as I can tell, is just some dude's house. Crazy. That'd be the best one. Probably is.

Wait, they got Big Boy's Pizzeria and Takeaway, and Big Boy is serving a bunch of random food. He's got fried, like, fish, he's got chicken, he's got wraps. Like wait, there's like one pizza and the pizza looks terrible. What the hell is this? I'm disappointed in Big Boy. Sorry Big Boy. Sorry. Well, that's the weather.

Alright, let's go to sports. Sports. Oh boy, sports. Currently, we're hitting the end of this regular season for the basketball and hockey. Currently for hockey, they are at, I think most people got like one or two games left to be played. So, in the Eastern Conference, we got the Washington Capitals at the top, who also had Alex Ovechkin break the single or not single season, the all-time goal thing held by Wayne Gretzky, so that was pretty crazy. They also have the Toronto Maple Leafs in the second, Hurricanes in third, Lightning in fourth, Panthers fifth, Senators sixth, New Jersey Devils seven, and then there seems to be a three-way battle for that eighth seed in the east between the Canadians Blue Jackets and Red Wings, but

it looks like the Canadians will get it unless they lose every game and the others win a lot but I don't think they'll get it. And then in the west, you got the Jets at the top, the Stars, the Golden Knights, the Kings, the Avalanche, the Oilers, and then there's a three-way battle for the final two spots between the Wild, the Blues, and the Flames. But it looks like the Wild and the Blues will get those unless the Flames go crazy and then one of the other two choke it away. Um, so that's cool. Then, in basketball playoffs, we've got the Cavaliers in the one seed. Celtics, Knicks, Pacers Pacers Bucks and Pistons

Pistons finally good again apparently and then the play in between the Magic the Hawks the Bulls and the Heat then we got the West which is the Thunder the Rockets the Lakers and then the Nuggets Clippers Warriors Timberwolves all Making the well they're actually pretty close for they're like one game apart so one of those teams will go to the play-in and the others get to be just in the playoffs in the play-in will be one of them and then the Grizzlies Kings and Mavericks. Then we got baseball standings baseball's going on we got the Yankees

in first by half a game over the Blue Jays, you got the Tigers in first, you got the Rangers in first, you got the Phillies and the Mets tied in first, you got the Brewers and the Cubs tied in first, and you got the Padres in first, by half a game over the Dodgers and the Giants only a game back, a lot of good teams early on. And NFL Draft is next week. Woohoo, I'm excited. Or wait, no, two weeks. We're doing our draft show next week with our football podcast, that's why. Okay.

Very fun. I'm one of the people that nerds out over the NFL Draft. It's a very, if you don't like football or you don't know anything, it seems like one of the biggest like waste of time. You just sit there and be like, with the 32nd pick of the NFL draft, the Miami Dolphins select John Johnson out of Utah State.

They'll be like, no, John Johnson's 5'6", a little undersized, but he's 378 pounds, big interior nose tackle. You know, he's going to fill that gap that they have down there on the defensive line now they did just lose Johnny Johnson his brother to free agency so big replacement right there and you know with some coaching help he

might get there and we'll see what happens and you do that for like 700 pigs it's very fun. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun to me. I'm shocked you didn't cover the most important news of the week. The curling news. Are you aware of the curling news?

I am not. Well, during the World Championships, China has been apparently burning the rocks intentionally. Now if you're wondering what does that mean, don't worry I looked it up because I too was like hold on. Curling has terms like burning rocks? Yes. So apparently, you know the sweeper guys?

The sweep in front of the moving rock? Well, I guess China has been hitting their rock with their sweeper guys and it moves and slows the trajectory of the rock. And they do it subtly to the point where in slow mo replays you can catch it, but in actual competition, the refs are missing it, I guess. And so this was April 5th is when this was going down and I have no idea what happened after that but it was huge and it was a big thing happening on the internet. They were like, can't believe this look at them. After watching several times they're purposely nudging the rocks as you can see here in slow motion. This is what burning means and no this guy says no surprise that Chinese are cheating

no surprise there that's like the flight gate or something like is it just is that a thing that's banned or is it just one of the loopholes in the system apparently it's illegal oh ok yeah it's supposed to if you touch if system. Apparently it's illegal. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's supposed to if you touch if you touch it, it's supposed to be your move it out of play. Like it's

just it's a you know, you don't get the point or whatever for that. Yeah. But I guess China does it so well and so sneakily that like, the refs didn't catch it. Are they gonna do anything about it? Are they like reviewing it? I don't know! This guy said, I'll be asking Devin Gereau, a CBC news guy for the Olympics and Paralympics based in Toronto, said he was going to specifically ask Switzerland ahead of the semifinal if they'll be alerting the umpire to watch for this. Huh? So there's like, this is some intense curling news. Yeah. Also, I love Devin Haro.

I assume that's his name because the stuff he posts is like a last rock victory for Brad Jacobs, a quick visit rink side with his family and then right into the post game interview. Here's my quick chat with Jacobs ahead of tonight's semifinal with Mount, Mount, Mount. Here's my quick chat with Jacobs ahead of tonight's semifinal with Mout, Mout, Mout. Jacobs for the win. An eight, six win.

I love, I love this guy's like, he's so in the world of curling. I need to follow this man. Cause he clearly knows what's up. Yeah, this is every post he's made. He posts once every hour. I don't know what the hell's going on over there. I got distracted by his own tweets, I was like, whoa. I mean, this man knows Curly. He does!

I should follow this guy more. Um... Well, there we go. And that's sports. Alright! What's our fact of the day? Fact of the day... Fact of the day. Day. Day. Day. Day.

Let's see, I clicked on this and it's got coffee facts. So we're actually gonna give a couple coffee facts here ok legend has it that coffee was discovered in the ninth century when a goat herder noticed his goats become hyperactive after eating some strange red berries I don't know if that's true is that a fact it's under the fact site.com it's

gotta be a thing all right let's see. Oh yeah, I guess it says it does seem like that is true? Coffee was discovered thanks to dancing goats? Legendary. That's what it says.

Alright, I mean, I kinda love that, but you would think coffee comes from all over the world, right? The beans? Yeah, it's one of those like the the legendary fishermen like I caught the fish it was this big. You're like, okay So like I don't know. I that doesn't seem Very that sounds like one of those tales people made up back in the day and then people has believed it Yeah, also coffee grow there's like a whole area

of the world where coffee grows. And it isn't just South America or African or, you know, like Asia. It's, there's a whole lot, like there's a belt. There's like a coffee belt of that sort of equatorial area where coffee can be found. And I guess the idea there was a long time ago some guy saw I don't know because I don't know where coffee comes from you

know what I mean because it could be any of those places yeah well there's the says the four main coffee types are the Arabic robusta excelsa and labarica or arabica coffee accounts for over 60 percent of world's coffee beans oh arabica or yeah rabica it's the you know tomato tomato yeah at first coffee beans were brewed into a drink instead the ripe red berries were chewed with

Ethiopia's Oromo people being some of the first to do so so So that makes more sense. I believe because Ethiopian, I mean like Ethiopia in general is kind of that area where everyone, like everyone's ancestor came from. Yeah. So I can imagine a lot of firsts happened there. Yeah plus I can imagine just picking the beans and like chewing on them and being like, these are good. Right? Like that would make sense Again my question for all that is Who was the first guy that did that?

That didn't die you know I mean because there's definitely they started chewing on some stuff that definitely killed him hundred percent That's one of those things where the people be like how do people know this is good or bad for you? It's like well people died They're like all don't do it that's a bad thing to do he did that and died, and they're like oh okay um let's see and then we also got

uh uh uh uh uh one more coffee fact here, this has got to be a good coffee fact um no that's a whatever fact that doesn't matter uh oh wait coffee plants are a great food source for animals interestingly bees get an extra buzz from coffee plants as even the flowers nectar

contains caffeine I don't want caffeinated bees I don't like that caffeinated bee would be a great restaurant name. Like a bar. Yes. Or like a coffee shop. Oh my god. Oh, honey butter biscuits and coffee. That kind of vibe. Yeah. Just the honey and coffee. Caffeinated bee. The caffeinated bee. That's a great restaurant name. Yeah, that's a great, they're only open breakfast and lunch. Yep. Oh That's good. That's good. Yeah That's your fact of the day Okay, has anyone come to us with tears in their eyes we got We got dear illustrious sirs I come to you with tears in my eyes and sand in my wounds.

Can I ask you to not give up on the slow process of sponsoring our Tommy Guns Lacrosse Club? We haven't forgotten your generous heart. Wait, so is it- First off, if that's really them, we haven't forgotten you. I haven't forgotten you! Yeah. Send us a message! Yeah. We're here. haven't forgotten you. Yeah. Send us a message. Yeah. We're here.

It's all good. Yeah. Whenever the new season starts, let us know. Yeah, let us know. We're not forgotten. If anything, we're just sad we didn't see ourselves on a jersey. That's all. The sooner that can happen, the better.

Yeah. 100%. Which I, you know what? I say 100% a lot. I percent which I you know what I say a hundred percent a lot I realized that you know what you're just like my man Sterling on Hell's Kitchen season 13 that's that's mr. 100% you're just like him yeah dear illustrious sirs I come to you with tears in my eyes beseeching your endless creativity with magic the gathering doing so many crossovers it truly feels Dear illustrious sirs, I come to you with tears in my eyes beseeching your endless creativity. With Magic the Gathering doing so many crossovers, it truly feels like nothing is off the table.

If you could each pick a character from any franchise to be a Magic the Gathering card, who would you choose and what would the card do? Uh, Doctor House. The card is called It's Not Lupus. What? Doctor, you play, the card is called it's not lupus. What? Doctor, you play, the card is doctor house. Okay.

And his ability thing is it's not lupus and he can identify, I don't know, like any sort of magical inflictions that you may have in your hand. You have to show it to them. Like if you have anything in your deck that could possibly wound or hurt your cards, you have to show them that if it's in your hand. I see, is the lupus thing like a reference? I never watched House.

It is, yeah. In House, they always will be like, it could be lupus, and he's like, it's not lupus. Ah, I see, okay. And it happens with a frequency that's out of control. Like, to the point where it becomes a meme. Like the writers just wrote it in because it became a meme? Yes!

And then I think there's one episode where it actually is Lupus, which is the whole thing. That was pretty good. Um... I... I don't think I would pick one specific one. I would pick a theme. I would love a Magic the Gathering, like, Studio Ghibli theme.

I think that'd be great. Uh, it would be great, because there's so many movies, you have so many different, like, themes with, like, the different movies and, like... There's plenty of creatures. But I think it'd be too many movies and too many themes? Yeah, but that's good for Magic. You'd have a lot of cards and a lot of different things to work with. I guess they could make a Final Fantasy one and include every Final Fantasy game they can include the Ghibli movies. Yeah in fact I googled it there's actually a lot of people just make their own Studio Ghibli magic cards. I did see in fact a guy propose his own magic card which again I guess is a thing people do like you were saying where he was like

again I guess is a thing people do like you were saying where he was like yeah it's called the mediator and I think the goof on the card was if everyone playing loses everyone wins or something like that if everyone agrees to lose you all win I think was the card and I was like I don't know what that means but that's hilarious I would never lose if everybody else is like can we just all agree I'd be like no Yeah, that's what I would do that'd be fun Okay, look at that look at that there. We're asked and answered. Yeah, that's the dear illustrious sirs Okay, what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day? Day Okay, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day, day, day.

TSA catches man smuggling live turtle in pants at New Jersey airport. You know, I don't understand that at all. I can understand smuggling drugs, I can understand smuggling fruit or money or anything but a live animal In your pants is just it doesn't seem like that's gonna work. Yeah, it definitely does not feel like it's gonna work It's just what it's a Pennsylvania man who was going through security at New Jersey Airport was found to have a live turtle concealed in his pants Why for what purpose? Like my first thought is like maybe it's him trying to

steal exotic animals or something like I don't know that's the only thing I think I guess it depends on where he's flying to is the big question. The turtle was detected after a body scanner alarm went off. TSA officer conducted a pat down determined the man was concealing something in the groin area. Well of course. He put the turtle in his groin? I would be so worried, I'm like that turtle is gonna be biting things it shouldn't bite. The man, when questioned further, reached into his pants and pulled out the turtle, which was about five inches. Well, first off, lol. But can you imagine being the TSA agent who's like, alright, I gotta scan you?

Because having been there and having a bunch of TSA agents over the years scan my junk, it happens with a frequency that's hilarious to me. And every time I'm like, yeah, do your worst. And I think it's funny because I gotta watch some guy get down on his knees and rub my junk with the back of his hand. And he's like, I'm trying to be respectful. I'm like, nah, you get in there, dude. You do what you got to do.

But I can only imagine, because they hate it. Every time you see the look in their eyes, they hate it. This guy rubs the back of his hand on this dude's junk and absolutely feels something hard like a tort- like a tortle? Like a tortle? A tortoise shell or something? I can't even imagine that guy's reaction. I'd be like, what the hell is going on right now? It is... He said it was a red-ear slider turtle, a species that is popular as a pet.

It was wrapped in a small blue towel. The man whose name was not released was escorted from the checkpoint area and ended up missing his flight. The turtle was confiscated and it's not clear if the turtle was the man's pet or why he had it in his pants. We didn't get why would they not get this information that's the most important part. Yet again they fail us. I genuinely believe most reporting is trash this is trash we learned we learned a thing happened and then nothing about why how?

None of it. Yeah, like where's where's the details? Where are they? I don't understand Quote we have seen travelers try to conceal knives and other weapons and their shoes and their luggage However, I believe this is the first time we've come across someone concealing a live animal down from the front of his pants As best we could tell the third the turtle was not harmed by the man's actions. He said the incident remains under investigation and it wasn't clear if the man would face any charges or penalties. Ugh.

I just... What? Why though? Why though? Yeah. There's no lies. There's literally no lies. Everyone's just like, he did this on purpose.

He did this on purpose. He did this on purpose. He did this on purpose. He did this on purpose. He did this on purpose. What? Why though? Why though? Yeah, there's no lies. There's literally no lie. Everyone's just like, he did this thing and nobody's asking why. Unreal. He could have done, like there's clearly a reason. But the reason also involved I need to smuggle it. I don't want to pay the trans to like take a turtle in a luggage or something. Yeah. want to pay to like take a turtle in a luggage or something. But also I can't get a turtle where I'm going. It has to be this turtle that I'm taking with me. There are layers to this story and none of them are resolved. There are a lot of layers. Like maybe it's...

Also why on the pant, why not like you can put it anywhere yeah but on the crotch do you think people wouldn't specifically check the crotch is probably nobody's gonna check my dick and that's absolutely if I was any sort of TSA agent I would assume that's where everyone's putting their drugs and or explicit stuff

oh yeah because every single person is gonna be like nobody will check there to the point where everyone's gonna check there, because that's where everybody puts their stuff. Yeah! I just... I don't understand. Well, I guess we'll never know. And that's the news story of the day. We'll never know. That man's turtle pants. Alright, well that's it for us. Thanks for watching over this podcast credit with the socials we got socials youtube.com slash Cox and crendor podcast that's where you can find all the episodes that's where you can post your dear illustrious sir or your

weather requests or your comments about how Jesse didn't put the intro on also you can find us on youtube.com slash Slyish Cox, and Crendor for all the animations! That's where animations are! Also, you can find us on Soundcloud, Spotify, iTunes, and other audio sites. Also, you can find us on our main things of youtube.com, Jess Cox, youtube.com, Slyish Cox, and Crendor, Twitch, Jess Cox, Twitch, Crendor, Facebook, Jess Cox, Facebook, Crendor, Twitter, Jess Cox, Twitter, Crendor, Blue Sky, Jess Cox, Blue Sky, Crendor, TikTok, Jess Cox, TikTok, TikTok, Cranador, YouTube, Cranclips, YouTube, Cranclips, and Patreon, Jessica, Jessica, and Cranador, and other stuff.

Okay, that's it. Thanks everyone. See you next time and as always... Boo! To be continued... food.