Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 465 - Some REALLY Important Advice for Women

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

The boys are back and this week Crendor is so so lonely. Just a man without purpose. Meanwhile Jesse is caught up in some of the wackiest internet nonsense imaginable. All this and so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://factormeals.com/cox50off and use code cox50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

Today's episode is brought to you by Factor. Factor's got good meals delivered right to your home. Let's jump into this podcast! Live, live, live, live! Before I report in studio order......recording! Beep beep! Wake your ass up! It's the Gags and Crenda's in the morning! Beep beep beep beep beep! Wake up! It's the morning! Hello everybody! Welcome to the episode of Gags and Crenda in the morning! Hey!

Oh, hey! Hey! We, uh... We're back. We're here. It's true. Yeah. And you're up. I'm so shocked. That's true. Look at you. New Crendor, new day. That's right. I've been waking up before noon for pretty much a week now. I'd like to think you've turned over a new leaf, but I know it's just cause you're bored. Well, not in particular well it started because of that toast left toast went off to go like live her life

and go to a convention and you were alone yes you know what you've got that you got that married man problem we're like I don't know how to live without you you're not wrong but yes I felt like you because what do you mean by this well whenever you'd be like I had nothing to do so I just went to bed and I was like I was like I don't get it but now I got it like stuff and I'd be like I had nothing to do so I just went to bed and I was like I was like I don't get it but now I got it I was like stuff and then I'd be like well I got

nothing to do now yeah it's like 10 p.m. and yeah you could stay up and watch TV or play a game or do anything or you could go to bed yeah plus I was like it was getting to the point with my sleep schedule where I wanted to change it a bit anyway. So we were going to bed at like 5am, and then the sun was coming up. So like, even with blackout curtains and stuff, if you had to go to the bathroom, you're just like, you just see the sun out there and you're just like, eh. But like, now, at like a healthy 3.30am. Right, the healthiest of times. like yeah but like now it like a healthy 330 a.m. right the healthy times yeah it's still dark outside and then I still get my eight hours sleep I wake up like 1130 so like it's you know it's technically before noon I'm excited for you yeah yeah the nice part is if I got to get up earlier it's not as bad

you know so that's kind of nice right right right right also from what I've read if you're going to die in the night most people die around 4am so at least you'll be asleep for that so that's pretty good there you go yeah yeah exactly the positives yeah you gotta look on the bright side man yeah so yeah pretty much I would I would also watch sumo wrestling love that yeah well like what got you on sumo wrestling was it because there's been a lot of stuff going around right now that's like a footballer wrestle sumo wrestler or stuff like that and course, sumo guys kicking everyone's ass because they're trained specifically for that.

But what got you? So there was one guy that was a viewer years ago. And he was asking me, I got on Patreon. And he was like, I really want to start a channel about sumo wrestling and stuff. And it just, I don don't know I don't think would do well or like he's just kind of skeptical or like whatever and I was like yo you just gotta do it and like that's such a niche category probably do

well and now he's like one of the biggest twitch sumo people he is a midnight sumo and he's getting like four or five thousand viewers streaming sumo wrestling and commentating that's amazing so that's fantastic yeah like that I, that's fantastic. Yeah, like that's really what it is, finding the thing you love that no one else is doing it and do it and you will find an audience like every time.

That's amazing, that's phenomenal. Yeah and so he's doing that so I was watching him and so he's just kind of rebroadcasting the sumo wrestling. This shit's like wild. Like I didn't realize how much goes into it. It's like- Oh, it's more than just fat dudes slamming into each other.

It's like a whole thing to it. Yeah, and it's like just the rituals of starting up where it's like they cleanse the arena, they drink from this little like wooden spoon, and then they like throw rice all over and then they stomp out the demons. And then it's like, they do this entire thing. And then they're like, all over and then they stomp out the demons and then it's like they do this entire thing and then they're like all right now we can fight I love that stomp out the demons is roughly how I played

the game dead space and frankly I get it I understand yeah you gotta stomp those bastards out you'll stomp them up and so did that I was watching that plus it was also kind of crazy where I already thought it was crazy when you watch something like basketball and they're sitting courtside and the players fall into you but like there's times in sumo wrestling they'll like fall off the little platform in the middle and those like crash into people and I'm like that's got to like kill somebody right at some point I feel like you would have time to get out of... Like, how close are they to the ring?

Not that close. They're like pretty close. Like, they got time to move, but if you don't pay attention, you're getting squashed. I mean, that's most sports, to be honest. I went and saw the Dodgers, and there were balls hit all over the place, and if you weren't paying attention, you'd get hit in the face with a ball. You know what I mean?

That's true. It's just... When it's a 700 pound muscular man, I feel like it's a little more intense. But they do try to like stop themselves I see. But sometimes you can't. Sometimes you're just shoved and you're flying. Honestly, that's the price you pay to go watch that. Yeah.

That would be like watching two gorillas battle and it's like you know someone's gonna get hurt but we want to see this fight so yeah it's uh you should always be paying attention I would I'd be want to sit and I'd sit a few rows back so I'm saying but there's I kind of want to like get up in the front and you know like when you see a live show like who knows what's gonna happen you get sprayed with water great. Yeah, but that's you You're right. That's the difference There's like the one the one thing that made me think that is the guy fell into the audience

I could have sworn there's this old woman to look like she got crushed is it looked like her face was like oh right, but also That's a story. She can tell she can go back tell her grandkids. That's true as long as she's alive Yeah, Nana had a run-in with with the sumo wrestler, and they're like did you win? She's like I did I don't know why she sounds like that. I'm probably a little Japanese lady, but whatever yeah As long as she makes it past 4 a.m.. She's good But that's I don't know why I know that and I'm not sure if it's a real fact I just know that I heard that somewhere and then I just said it on this podcast so it's real if it's set on

a podcast it's real yeah yeah I was watching that that was fun so I'd watch that and then go to sleep also the audience was always fun too just watching the people in the audience there There's this one, uh, group of women who like, you know how, if you go to a sports games, like if you're at a Dodgers game, people have their favorite player and they got jerseys on, they got signs like, Oh, whoever. Yeah. But it was like for sumo wrestling, it'd be like a group of like three women and they'd have like his face on a thing and then like his name and they're just like,

well, I don't know. Like it makes sense, but for some reason I just thought it was like funnier. I don't know, maybe cause it's uh... Cause it's sumo? That's like... It's sumo or something, yeah. I mean I guess it would be the equivalent of a bunch of uh, like ladies showing up to cheer on a guy, like a weightlifting contest or something?

Yeah. Like it gave me vibes of like Olympic curling or something, where it's like, go curling. Or like, I get it. In fact, I think it's better probably than normal sports, but it's just, it's fun, because it's different. And then my favorite, there's this woman, who I swear to God, her husband was in the Yakuza.

He was just like decked out. He had like the stone-cold face on he says like his arms crossed But his sleeves are rolled up like he looked like well of course he looked like he beat somebody up before Numerous times or ordered it. Yeah, like that type of guy, and then she's just sitting there, and she had like this little doll There's like a little rabbit doll or something I don't know what it was trying to figure out what it was and she would just keep like whatever something happened she'd be like shake it and like point it I was

like is that like one of the wrestlers favorite animals or like does he like like I don't know and I was just trying to figure that out maybe somebody knows but it was fun to watch I'm sure there's deep lore I'm sure there's like tons of deep lore that it's almost professional wrestling level you know what I mean? Yeah so it's uh overall very fun it was fun watching that so I'd watch that then fall asleep. I love that. Yeah I also did swap my ASMR. Oh

to what I Swapped it to eight hours of rain sound The the call map gotcha has a YouTube video Yeah, just eight hours of rain sound and so like I mentioned before on this show The my ASMR would always run out and then it would give me anxiety. So I'm like, oh God, the ASMR ran out, right? Cause you would hear her being like, comment, subscribe. Oh yeah, and then you're done. And then you're like, I'm not asleep yet.

But now eight hours of rain, I don't know what time it is. I don't know where I am. If I wake up, I'm like, oh, still raining. Just keep going. Sometimes I like a story and just keep going Sometimes I'll wake up and just take it out. But otherwise, I'm like I'm just lost in the lost in the rain. That's been working I love that. Yeah, hold on. I I wonder if we're listening to the same thing. I'm trying to last night. I listened to Perfect rain sound to relieve insomnia from a healing coma. I wonder if that's supposed to be coma, but it definitely says coma. And then, um, yeah, you know, the healing coma.

And then the night before that I had heavy rain, a rainy night for sleep, eight hours dude, solid eight hours. My real favorite ones lately are ones where it's like solo camping and heavy rain. And it's just like some guy, except I did discover a genre. And I ask everyone to look this up. Take, take the time when you have time. Don't do this if you're in a car. Yeah. Look up camping rain. I don't know, like sounds or whatever. I keep seeing the top one be what is just a very attractive Asian woman.

And it's her kind of like seductively leaning over in the thumbnail, but I'm just like, do you have to click bait rain sounds? Is that where we're at now? I guess it's like this Chinese woman who goes camping and then just, you know, does all the things she like eats and stuff But that's not what I want. I just wanted some guy in the woods camping She does a whole production where she'll like eat and go mmm

I'm like no no one all right. I don't want to say no one wants this clearly people want this She's very popular, but I don't want that. I'm trying to go to bed. I don't need like popular but I don't want that I'm trying to go to bed I don't need like brain I don't want that no there's like there's straight up numerous channels of that of ways I just don't get it yeah like if you type in camping ASMR it is all like attractive Asian women camping in the rain I just don't I never understood it I never will. Millions of views. Yeah I like get it I understand men be horny I get that but also I got work in the I got stuff to do I gotta be up so please give me just most of the ones that I like are the ones where it's like the dude looks like

he's never slept in a house ever And he's out in the woods right and he's like eight days of sleeping in the woods, and he doesn't say a word The most sound might be him chopping wood, but it's like Edited so the sound isn't that loud and it's just like the rain. It's him like It puts me out it puts me out like glad there's like so many of these channel granted it makes sense because if it's getting millions of views everyone else can start doing it yeah I just feel like we should advertise things what they are instead of like ASMR to help you sleep it's like

you know you're a little horny, but you don't want to be a creep, and all you have is YouTube right now. Like that's what we should call it. Yeah, but then you would have to feel bad about what you're doing. No, we already feel bad enough. When I click on a video where it's like,

I'm gonna do mouth sounds, ain't nobody there cause you're like, great at mouth sounds. It's a... There might be. Don't assume. You're right, you're right. What a fool I am.

What a fool I am. I think you're just, you're projecting to some degree still. Completely. Oh yeah, no, this is full projection, yeah. Yeah. I did see there's that one, I completely oh yeah, no this is this is full projection. Yeah, yeah, I Did see there's that one the YouTube camping guy that's retiring you see that I did see that I think it was because people were harassing him and his family or something. Yeah, which is crazy That is he's just like I just want him to live a normal life

Yeah With that said though. I have a feeling it's cuz he made bank oh yeah it's like 20 million no one I'm gonna say no one who's broke is gonna be like you know what I'm gonna give this all up and live a normal life yeah every time I see people like that I mentioned it before it was like people go we got to take a break you know it's just stressful They're always like getting millions of views and I'm like well. Yeah, I could do that too like what? Like imagine if you you at your normal job as well. We're just like you know what it's just getting a little too much I think I'm gonna take a two-week break. You know maybe maybe even a couple months

It's like you can only do that if you're rich or you have vast majority of people just simply cannot yeah yeah yeah yeah and then they know they can come back and just be like hey everybody then it's just like some some some watch video and then just make more money that hilariously was this morning when I was eating breakfast I was having this conversation about the idea of what would I do if I didn't have to work? And the best I could come up with, because I would probably, here's how it started. Some actor, I don't know who, was saying they read two books a day. And all the comments were like, how's

that even possible? How can you do that? And when you have nothing else to do, it's very possible. Oh yeah. Like when you don't have to, if you're, oh I made millions on one movie and now I'm on a break. Like yeah, you can do that. And I think people just didn't register that if you have money you can kind of do whatever the hell you want.

And so the conversation was, okay, so I have money. What would I do if I didn't have to work? And I was like, yeah, I probably could read two books a day, but in reality, I know exactly what I would be. You know, and I think you know this especially, you know when you go to brunch, and it might be like a Tuesday,

but there's a group of five, six, eight old ladies, and they're all like gossiping, and maybe they came from pickleball, or they're gonna go do something together, like go for a walk, I'd be in that group. Me right now, myself, I'd join them. I'd be like, I got nothing better to do, I'm gonna go hang out with the old ladies.

And I'd become like, they'd be like, so what are the kids into? Like, I honestly don't know, but I'd make stuff up for them. I'm like, oh yeah, they're shooting turpentine in their eyeballs now, it's crazy. I'd go around and around telling the friends like He knows what's up It's the best I could hope for because otherwise they'd be so bored

It's honestly when I was thinking of what I would do because people brought up on stream like what would you do if you had? To retire or whatever and I was like I would literally do what I'm already doing Sure, I would just cuz I would sit around and I'd be like man What do I do now? And I'd be like well. I guess I'll read a bit which I do and but I'm not gonna read two books a day I read like a chapter a day I'm like alright. That's pretty good. I'm like alright. What now I guess I'll go to the gym alright, and I'm like uh you know I kind of make a video about like a Top 10 list of some random World Warcraft thing probably do that maybe a Geo guesser something in World Warcraft be fun be like hey, you know what kind of stream Pokemon

So I'll do that Just do what I'm already doing now I think that's because you enjoy and have fun with what you're doing like what you do on a daily basis is stuff you love not stuff you feel compelled to do and I think that's a huge difference in a lot of people's you know the vast majority of people who live in this world are like you know I got to do this in the room over there right now there are three people editing videos I'm sure they don't want to have to edit like You know, that's what work is. I know, I wouldn't want to edit your videos, that's for sure. Look, I don't even want to edit them. I made them and I'm like, nah, I can't even be asked.

That's true. I guess the difference would be I wouldn't be as focused about money, right? Because you're retired, you don't have to worry about money or anything because like now it's like in theory in theory is right now you have to be like alright how we doing on the twitch earnings how's YouTube looking alright maybe we got to change something up maybe I have to make a specific video maybe I have to stream a certain thing

maybe we need to get sponsors like I gotta check sponsors like get a you're always like thinking of like how's everything doing? Or all the the legs of the table being held up is one breaking is the table gonna fall over? Like it's that type of thing more than anything sure sure yeah, I am I'd like to imagine that My peak version of Jesse not giving an F when it comes to YouTube stuff would Completely be there's a guy. I'm not gonna call him out because the last time we called out a guy on YouTube

He everyone went to his channel and he shut his channel down so I'm not ever doing that again ever Shout out to whipped cream guy. I love you wherever you're at right now but there's a guy who Alex showed him to me and I must stress one of the craziest yet completely pure things I've ever witnessed so it's like a dude um imagine like I don't know overweight Midwestern guy I'm sure you can imagine that. Yep. And, uh, he's in a house and it looks like his grandmother's house. And I say this because everything seems to be from 1984. There are pictures of just, I'm going to say 35 year old Jesus portraits around, like just, you know, that kind of stuff. The kitchen looks very old.

It's, it's what you imagine every Midwestern grandmother's house looks like right and it's him doing a cooking video He's like today. I'm gonna make my favorite thing in the world It's a uh, I think you said it's like a Mexican pizza He's like got to take this nun bread and then you you put the naan bread down and then you're gonna put some refried beans on there. And he literally takes a can of refried beans and just like, like dumps them on there and then smooths it out.

He's like, oh yeah, that's gonna be good. Okay, and then you take, I got some hot dogs. He starts cutting up pieces of hot dogs. He starts putting it on it and he's like and then I got these uh this cheese sauce it's like Velveeta spread or something he starts oozing it on this thing it is so gross looking but he's so excited and then he's like all right then you you put it in the oven and he puts in it in the oven, and it comes out. It's just a goopy, oozy mess.

You know, it's got refried beans plus the... It's basically if you opened a bean and cheese burrito from Taco Bell and then just ate it open face. That's what it looks like. Yeah. No, that sounds terrible. Yeah, and he cuts it with a pizza cutter. And he takes a bite.

He's like, oh, God, you're so good. He has tons of videos like this. He has one video where he makes some sort of pasta dish and it looks like what I would have considered food in college. You know what I mean? Like he puts so much random shit in it, but he's like, it's all so good. All of his videos are this every single one is just him completely in his element, just cooking food. Each video has like 22 views and he still makes them. He's making them right now. And that is where I want to live. Like I respect the hell out of that

guy. I think it's crazy what he's doing, but that's where I want to be. I want to be at that crazy where I just don't have to care anymore. Like right now I care because I got responsibilities, but if I didn't have responsibilities, that's the kind of content I'd make. It'd be like, okay, so today we're going to make, um, a grilled cheese sandwich and that'd be it. I just make a grilled cheese and then I'd upload it. The end. That was kind of what I did like 12 years ago, be honest. And here you are.

And here I am. Look at that. Propelled me forward. Yeah, I have a video stuck in my head of you and me in an elevator and you literally just throw a water ball at me and that's the video. Yeah. That was a good one. That was it. There's actually a few water bottles. A few water bottle videos.

It's almost like a trilogy of water bottles. It was almost like a trilogy. Oh bottles was almost like a trilogy Yeah, I think you gotta get a surfboard or some like Witcher boarders something like that Yes, the witchard wake whatever that is the longboard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one Actually by the there's a wow Person that watched my videos. He's like a streamer youtuber PVP guy named Zarya you and I was watching him during the the we call it the soda pop and hardcore challenge or whatever

but of course he reacted to a pointless top ten and It was funny because when he's watching it. I mentioned in the video I'm like so I found this thing and he's like wait He found this thing is he's like fly around and look for stuff and everyone in the chat was like yep. Yep Yeah That's part of the fun is just going around and finding stuff It's like you're finding hidden gems that have been lost to the ancient times you know I mean mm-hmm so it's fun

seeing him react to that and then he was just like dude I gotta watch more of these and I was like yes that's awesome yeah that's so it's always nice when people out of the blue watch your stuff and are like I'll do a react video I know it sounds crazy because it's also kind of content sniping but also on an egotistical level

I like it a lot. I do enjoy when people watch myself. It's one thing if they do it and don't like Shout you out or give you links or whatever but like with it when they link your channel and they're like, hey, it's cool Subscribe whatever that it's just like they're you know, it's free publicity. It's like somebody went to a restaurant They're like this is great food. I'd come back here. like it's that type of thing. I love that stuff. Yeah Speaking of which rewind Okay, yes You mentioned reading so I as you know I've been working on my book for many years many. Oh, yes. No I am aware

I thought it was I thought you just weren't doing it anymore. No. So I've pivoted numerous times. So after finishing Brandon Sanderson's writing lecture thing, I took the advice of doing like the one-off book. You know what I mean? Instead of working on a trilogy or something crazy, he was like just write a one-off book and do what you want to do. So he was like that's my best advice for like your first book right because you just kind of pick the tropes you like pick all these different things and run with it so I've been working for at this point like months like world-building plotting everything right in a bit I've written 2,000 words so I have done stuff of a

book about magical fishing. All right? What? That's right. What does that mean? I'm you know I'm still figuring out the details. There's a lot that goes into it. I've actually written, I've got like documents, I've got pages on my phone, I've got so much stuff about just like the world, the characters, just everything. It's just... But the base of it all is magical fishing. Okay. I guess I would have to ask for specifics, but I'm not sure you want to give them. Because when you say magical fishing, I don't know whether you mean people are using magic to fish, in which case, what are they... What does everyone else do with the magic or the fisher magical?

Yes, both So what is happening in the world with Matt so people only use magic to fish? No, you can normally fish, but there's also magical fish You can only catch these magical fish at certain places and only certain people have the power to magically fish The same way that you would have to have a powerful wizard to cast powerful spells you need a powerful fish wizard to catch powerful fish. Now those fish... Is this a world with wizards in general? Yes. You got wizards, you got druids, you got necromancers, you got everything and they all... Oh everything's there Yeah, and you can learn how to fish properly and catch these magical fish the thing is oh

Okay, so you have like the the the benefits of the magical fish But you also have the negative side effects of the fish so people will just be like I need my Magical fish powers because it can like boost your ability so this this is kind of like a, if you remember years ago, I talked about doing my book, which was like a magical lake and I was like, you could use this lake water and it gives you powers and stuff like that. And then I was like, I gotta do this with fish. So I swapped it up.

And so what I learned from Brandon Sanderson's course was he was like like the most fun magic systems have great limitations. Because he's like nobody really remembers like, oh, he just pulled out this Deus Ex Machina spell and he's like everyone is safe now. But it's like the limitations of it's like, I can, it's like the ring. It's like I can put the ring on but then Sauron knows where I am and like they know it like everything and I feel the power of there so it's like you have to use it sparingly so it's like maybe you you

could you can use a fish to gain some sort of power but maybe you like get really tired and pass out maybe your arm like burns for days like maybe like there's numerous different things you can do. But that's kind of the angle I'm going with. That's fun. So what, uh, let me ask you a question. What did the magic fish get you in this universe? Uh, well, I'm still figuring everything out. Understood.

In fact, I'm still figuring out, like, the in-depth lore behind it. Like, why are they here? So, you know, it could be like, did it it could be they were just always there Like there's numerous ways I can go with it, but i'm still trying to Plan all that sure. Yeah. No my favorite version even though this sounds weird my favorite version of magical fish air quotes Is in dishonored um the way that that world works is uh, the game kind of takes place in

what would be like steampunky England, even though it's not really, but it's this island off the coast of a main continent. But the main continent is this weird place no one goes to. So for the most part, people stick to the island and they fish and most of their stuff is powered by oil from whales, but the whales, as you read through documents and stuff,

there's something going on with them and there's definitely some potential old god stuff and the whales, they are magical in a way and so the whale bones do things and yeah, it's this crazy world where they're, you know, the whales power their life, but at the same time are these beautiful, majestic magic creatures that they need to kill

in order to live, but by killing them, they are potentially angering some sort of, you know, deity. And I was like, yeah, this is cool as hell. And then that went nowhere, because they ended the game after the second one, because I guess they didn't want to make them. Yeah, they had this huge franchise.

They had all this lore. And then the second game, they literally just stopped. I just don't, I don't know what they were thinking. They created this thing called the Outsider, which was like this big overarching deity. And yeah, I'll just let you know that the second game they're like we're making a DLC called the death of the outsider that's it done I was like what never been so disappointed big disappointment but I do

love the first game and would highly recommend it all right very close it's one of those games that lets you do whatever the hell you want so yeah it's good vibes yeah I actually thought of that So yeah, it's good vibes. Yeah, I Actually thought of that idea as well. It's like a cool thing. So I like I know if you've seen princess Mononoke Yes, yeah, I like the I like the theme behind that of just like it's like man versus nature and like trying to corrupt So I was like that could kind of be a theme of like the People are trying to mass catch these fish or like hire these wizards to like force them the fish or just being like we need to catch as many as we can get powerful and then the The actual like water and nature starts fighting back in some way like maybe they got crazy creatures that start Attacking or like, you know, there's a bunch of ways you can go with it

But I kind of like that aspect of like man vs. Nature Yeah, I think the best way to do a story like that is to start with a Cataclysm or some type of of you know the nature reacting and people being like we don't even understand why that's happening And then reveal slowly through the book that like oh, no the people are doing this. They're just dumb Yeah, like that kind of thing is always fun where it's like thousands died when the waves washed up upon the shawl and then it's like nobody like we did that whoops yeah a lot of times that's fun prologues do but apparently now people don't like prologues which like I get I think if prologues are really badly done then well yes if anything is badly done it's

not very good but I think prolog especially, a lot of people just skip them. But sometimes they've got really great, like I keep thinking back to, what was it? The second Jurassic Park book, Lost World, where the opening is on a beach and a bunch of those compies like eat a little kid, and I was like, holy crap, that is a hell of a way to start a book.

I keep thinking about that. Like sometimes it's done really, really well. Yeah. So I think if it sets up the theme of your book, then it's actually really cool. Cause then you kind of know what to expect. Cause then you can kind of play around with more boring things where you're just like,

here's a character doing this. Like maybe they're just fishing or whatever. But then you know, like shit's going to get crazy. Cause I read about it at the start of the book and I know it's gonna happen Yeah, I'm always a big fan of like huge set piece insane intro thing cut to my name's John Johnson I'm a like a Fisher and it's like him and it's very you know Hobbit esque and you can imagine the music in the background and it's like a totally different on the other side of the world vibe

Yeah, I love those cuz that's um those were Brandon Sanderson's things too he's like the prologue is supposed to be like a promise where he's like in Star Wars that the movie opens up and you see like the big battle on the ship Darth Vader's walking through the halls and he's like where are they and then it like cuts the loop being like I'm a farmer and here I am he's like right there promising you like hey guys There's gonna be some crazy like star battle shit and whatever but like just hold on for a while. We'll get to that Yep, I love that kind of stuff. I think that is

Absolutely the way to do it. It. You know you need that hook, and I love a good hook so yeah So that's been a lot of fun. I've literally just been working on that for at this point like months just planning out stuff retooling stuff eventually you're gonna have to go like eventually have to pull the trigger on this thing well it's not me well I've been writing still like I said I've written two thousand words so you know somebody somebody will be like two thousand words I write that a day like that's's cool. But, I don't care, it's more just making actual progress. Yeah, you're doing it for fun right now, instead of, this is my job.

Yeah, exactly. So, because that's one of my big goals, is I just want to write a book. And my goal isn't to have that book be the greatest book ever. I just want it to be a book where people read it and enjoy it and go, wow, I can't believe Krendor wrote this. That's the main comment I want. I want that book to come out so I can say, wow, yeah, no, Krendor definitely wrote this. Yeah. So we'll see. I've also been reading, which helps, obviously. I was reading Mistborn. I don't know if you read that. That's the Brandon Sanderson one. I have the first book on my audible. I have not. I was gonna listen to it when I went overseas and I, as I mentioned on a previous episode,

got distracted by all the movies I've never seen in theaters and was like, I'll watch these instead! Oh yeah. But it is, it is, the very first book is on my phone right now to listen to. Yeah, it's, I'm like a third of the way through that. It's pretty good. It's one of those things where I'm reading it and then I kind of go back and analyze the writing and the writing style now that I'm like doing that. And then I also started reading Game of Thrones again. Oh good god. I love those books to death but I don't know how that translates to you because that

man George RR Martin's like 18 pages of describing a feast. Oh yeah no I it's not my writing at all. My writing is more probably like far more basic but I kind of like reading it just to see the comparison you know I mean it's almost like a study type thing so I only read like a couple pages of Game of Thrones but it's nice seeing the writing style and kind of learning from it because yeah it's very much like and here's it's like reading a history book half the time of like here's a name of like sir Eddard Stark son of blah blah blah Heir of the throne and blah blah blah, and you're like okay

There's like 20 names and then it's like yeah the description of like an entire paragraph describing a patch of grass Thank all right. I think those books are very very very good Better than the show I will stand But I think everyone agrees after Better than the show. I will stand on that. Oh, yeah. But I think everyone agrees, after a while the show fell apart. But like, the biggest issue is there's so much to follow.

Like, the big difference between the show and the books is there's like 15 additional characters not even in the show. And then there's all these different houses and different... I don't know how much I'll remember when this man finally releases the next book. It's been so long. I'm ready for it. Yeah, I'm ready for it. I know what's happening in the story, but I also am just...

I know I'm gonna be like, hold up. Let me go to the wiki. What? It's uh, I was actually reading somebody's theory and why he hasn't written it yet. And I said... Number one was he's a perfectionist. So like, if he doesn't think it's good enough, like, he's not gonna do it. They're like, he's to the point where he revises his own writing so much that he doesn't even need a rough draft. Cause his draft is just like constantly being revised. So it's like, okay.

And now he's gotten to the point where there's so many characters that he has to make sure they're all like intertwined correctly and like nothing's out of place or nothing feels wrong. And then he has the added pressure of the show doing terribly at the end. So people are like- Yeah, he has to nail it. Yeah. So like he really has to get it right.

So you have that on top of everything else. So he's just probably Constantly rethinking stuff and rewriting and on top of that. He's just busy with all the other shit He's doing and for the most part um From what I understand the way the show Ended is The rough outline of how he wanted to end it and people did not like the ending So I wonder if he's like oh back to the drawing board I go so is the rough outline of how he wanted to end it, and people did not like the ending.

So I wonder if he's like, oh, back to the drawing board I go. So I don't know, I just don't know what's going on over there. I also, to be honest, kind of have a feeling of maybe he doesn't want any of the criticisms, so he's working on them,

and then he's just like, when I die release them yeah you know what I mean maybe it's like I want to see people complain and hate my stuff if I'm dead like I honestly don't know I have no idea what his thoughts are he could just be caught up in it I mean the man's now working they he helped with the lore of Elden Ring and now they're making an Elden Ring movie and I guarantee he's attached yeah it it's plus it's kinda like what we mentioned earlier. He's to the point where he has enough money that he doesn't have to care.

I care because you can't tell me a multi-book story and then not have an ending. Literally for people who are curious where the books left off. Remember in the show where a certain main character just dies? That's where we left off. That's like before the show went downhill, we're at that point. So and if you're wondering why the show went downhill, because they had to make it up as they went along with the rest of it. We're at the point, like the man is the greatest cliffhanger in forever and we're just like, brother, what are you doing?

Give us answers. It's rough. I think he probably also has some bitterness towards the show and the way they handled it. Oh he definitely does especially House of the Dragon he is not admittedly I'm with him. Season one House of the Dragon I actually really really liked. Season two nothing happened. It was eight nine ten episodes of people just being like something's gonna happen and then nothing happened in the season finale the last five minutes was people marching off to battle and I was like

How dare they nothing occurred it was crazy Yeah, it's I haven't read a thing He said he was like bashing the way they handled numerous characters or he was like little finger wouldn't have given sands up like that Like he's just directly being like yeah, they were I don't know what the shit they were thinking As someone who has done shows Once writers have it out of the creators hands They can kind of do whatever they want and the creators can approve or disapprove, but if the majority of producers agree, then that's what it's gonna be.

And so I can't tell you the amount of times I fought for things and was overruled and was like, all right, I don't like this, but okay. And it just happened. Like, that's just how it works. It sucks, but that's it. Yeah, I think that was, Brandon Sanderson said that was one of the reasons he hasn't done any shows for any of his books and stuff.

Because he's like, I always tell him, like, I want full control. And they're like, no. Yeah, and they never will, because it's all. When you go to a production company, you go to someone and they're like, hey, we'll give you six million dollars to make this. They're going to want full control. It's just what it is because it's their money. And I get it. If I'm putting money into a thing, I want control over it too. And that's the problem is a lot of times

You just never get that Yeah, so it's there's definitely some bitterness from George R. R. Martin there being like they messed up my show So and maybe he's gotten over it now, but I feel like when it happened He probably didn't work on the book as much because he was just like they ruined my Project there might his child essentially he'd been working on With that said he could have

Completed one of those books by the time they got to that point in the show So they could like it is a little bit on him to man did not do anything. Oh, yeah No, it's definitely on him to plus. It's like I think he's plenty of time I think he's perfectionist and so he just he probably could have released something by now, but he just hasn't Yeah, I mean it's very clear that when he went to go make a book, and then he had split into two books Mm-hmm. It's like okay. This guy is operating on a whole other level of insanity Yeah, well he talks like an an insane gnome engineer from WoW. He really is a gnome! Yeah.

I like to craft my books! That's how he talks. Which doesn't surprise me. But speaking of that, you see Nick Cage as John Ben. Dude, not only did I see that, I messaged you like we have to watch this movie.

Yeah, oh yeah. That's incredible. This is the most insane movie he may be a part of. Yeah, it's just Nick Cage and Christian Bale together in what will be an incredibly ridiculous movie. I know they're going to it seriously which makes even better Yeah, it is Genuinely insane I need to hear Nick Cage's John Madden voice I need to see him to like a play call. I just I need this

of like all the people To get to play John Madden. It's just like I the people to get to play John Madden. It's just like I can't believe they picked Nick Cage but it is perfect. Yeah I would be very excited if at some point this movie they did like a bit where he signs his name over to the Madden NFL game series. Yeah. And we're just gonna see Nick Cage do that. I kind of want there's so many things I just want to see Nick Cage do that. I kind of want there's so many things. I just want to see Nick Cage do yeah No, that would be fantastic just one night in addition with Nick Cage on it You open the game. He's just like EA Sports

It's in the game if they had the audacity if EA had the cojones to do this They should do a free DLC of Nick Cage Madden do this they should do a free DLC of Nick Cage Madden that'd be incredible that would be incredible hey there players it's me Nick Cage I mean John Madden no they could be Nick Cage in the game as John Madden yeah right right right me Nick Cage as John Madden look at that look at how they toss the ball boom run up the metal oh I could toss a ball for hours that's it's gotta happen I was gonna ask you because you said honey nor you said

it I think it might been my stream you said there's a story that you have to tell me I do and I'm not sure if we should save it to be our new story or not because it's that good It is we can say it's the best thing. It's not news, but it feels like news all right Yeah, we'll save it for the news story though. It's pretty I couldn't find any good news stories anyway great But you know what we're not saving for Make this spring your best, because summer's around the corner and I know you want to look good out there during summer, where the clothes comes off and the sun hits your skin.

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snacks, desserts, juices, all sorts of amazing stuff. One of my favorites that they have. I just, it's so simple. It's just smoked Gouda and bacon shredded chicken hash. It is, it has green beans. It's just like, you know, it's so simple. It's just smoked Gouda and bacon shredded chicken hash. It is as green beans It's just like, you know, it's not complicated It's super simple and if you want to be like a little fat boy like me get some Tortilla chips dip them in there you can you can have a whole little dip thing

It's great or you can get a big fan of salmon and so a ginger teriyaki salmon with roasted cabbage and I'm a big fan of salmon and so a ginger teriyaki salmon with roasted cabbage and rice and sesame green beans and that's just that's just a little taste of what they have and more importantly you can get side things like sausages and chicken wings and little tiny desserts and stuff. I just love them so much and a lot of you at home do as well. Thank you to everyone who reaches out and is like yo I started doing factor, man down 45 pounds. Like hell yeah. Keep it up. Get started right now at factor meals.com slash Cox five zero.

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We go. Whoa. With Crandoor. How's go to Chopper's of May I believe it's like 18 degrees below average right now so that's kind of dumb at least here I don't know where it is other places got like tornadoes and shit so that's pretty crazy so watch out for those thank you thanks Crendor now let's go over to Crendor at the weather desk how's that weather we've got a weather request for the Greek island how much said the geek islands the geek islands geek islands of Kia kea the island is quite popular

location for scuba divers one notable dive site is the wreck of HMHS Britannic sister ship to the Titanic Britannic was serving as a hospital ship during the First World War and when she struck a German mine on November 21st, 1916, she sank about four miles northwest of Kia and was the largest ship in the entire war, or lost in the entire war. There is a conspiracy theory, I can't remember what it is, there's a conspiracy theory about the Titanic and the Britannic being this like switched or something. Dude, I don't know, I can't remember what it is. There's a conspiracy theory about the Titanic and the Britannic being this like switched or something. Dude, I don't know, I can't remember what it is, but look it up on the internet.

It is, well you would imagine most conspiracy theories are like absolutely bonkers, but I love it. Perfect for Mathis. Let's see, KIA South Aegean Greece? Aegean, is that what you mean? Yeah, Aegean. Yeah, South Aegean Greece? Aegean? Is that what you mean? Aegean? Yeah, the Aegean Sea? Yeah, the South Aegean Sea.

It sounds like a Game of Thrones name. The Aegean Empire. Oh wow, it is kind of right off the coast of Athens almost. Yeah. It is 65 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 65 degrees Fahrenheit. feels like 65 degrees Fahrenheit. Humidity 59%, pressure 30 inches, visibility 9 miles, winds at 7 miles an hour, dew point 51. UV index is a zero, because it's currently nighttime there, and you got the waning crescent moon looking over you.

6.08 AM, sunrise, 8.30 PMpm sunset, and the 10 day. Uh, Thursday, we got mostly sunny, 70 degrees. Friday, 69, nice, partly cloudy. Saturday, 72, mostly sunny. Sunday, yeah, mostly cloudy. Skies with a 70 degrees. Monday, you got 66 and sunny. Tuesday, 67 and sunny. And Wednesday, 69, mostly sunny.

Nice. I'm like mesmerized by this place. It is both completely in the middle of nowhere. Everything here seems kind of like you're in a national park vibe. But at the same time you go to one of these in the middle of nowhere kind of housing developments and it's gorgeous houses.

Like very modern looking, beautiful homes, but it's also just, there's one I found called Greek Odyssey Homes. And the wall around it is straight up just like an old stone wall that looks like it's probably, you know, a hundred two hundred years old but then behind it Using those same stones are houses that I'm like that looks like a very modern home And then there's nothing else around there's like four or five of these houses and then nothing else for miles I'm just like looking but I don't know how things operate Maybe somebody just wanted a modern house there.

They just built their own. Yeah. And then there's some, like every restaurant I click on looks absolutely gorgeous. The, the views, the way they're designed, just gorgeous. But then you click on the food and it looks like any Greek restaurant you would ever go to. Yeah which I mean I guess it checks out. Yeah but I like I get it but it just looks like you know I guess you're paying mostly for the view. There are some very nice views I mean there's a lot of places where you're paying for the view.

Yeah yeah but I mean like food wise I'm trying to find something wacky and crazy but everything just kind of seems like a 4.4 on here they're all good but yeah it's a lot of a eating falafel you're eating you know yeah you're eating some meats and hummus and the whole thing like that's it like a heenie burger with fries or wrap most of the time you're eating some sort of wrap with fries a lot of kebab stuff But it's all the every restaurant. I'm looking at seems roughly the same It's almost like you just pick which view you're looking for

Yeah, food. It's like where do we want to eat today? What do you want? Okay? Let's go to that one Yeah, I found a chop house, and it's again, it's just a chop house and if you want meat plus fries that's what you're getting, but the view is outstanding. I mean I guess it's keeping it simple. I'm just amazed by this entire area. I just don't quite understand how it operates. It's just all mountainous. And then ever so often, Greek restaurant. Which again, makes sense. But I think this is the first time we've, like Greek food, Mediterranean food is so influential that when you think about going to places, right? The idea that when you think about if we were to go look at different places from around the world

We wouldn't it's not often that we see of like we're looking at Greece and all the food We're seeing is Greek food. You know what I mean, right? Usually be like yeah, we're gonna look at this place. There's the McDonald's. There's the Taco Bell. That's true. There's the pizza place There's the steakhouse. There's the sushi. There's the Chinese, right? This is it's Greece and it's all Greek and I think that's it's very fascinating but on point, you know what I mean? Yeah, no. Yeah now I'm looking around trying to see if I can find the McDonald's That's what I'm trying to find anything that isn't Greek. You know what I mean? That is like yeah, it's a steakhouse, but no, that's a Greek you know what I mean that is like yeah it's a steakhouse but no that's a Greek steakhouse yeah no I'm struggling to find it it's got yeah

there's a barbecue place it says it's Philippa's barbecue and I'm like okay barbecue let's go it the plates look the exact same there's mayor Marcy that's like a food store there's coffee places but the coffee places are still they're selling things that look very similar to the other places as well yeah maybe if we go like inland, maybe up. I guess it's only in the close. I think this island is, it's almost quintessential for what you would expect out of Greece. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I'm sure if we went to Athens, we would see the McDonald's of Athens. Oh yeah. It would be a little more, but this is an island in the Greek islands and they just were like we are where we are and we know what we are and when people come here they come here for vacation in Greece and so we're gonna

give them Greek food. I think you're right because it is. There's nothing that I can see here and honestly I get it I'm kind of here for it I imagine if we went to you know the middle of nowhere in China, it would all be Chinese food instead of, you know, that kinda, whatever else they have. Or if you went to India, there'd be Indian food if you ended up, you know, in some province way in the middle of nowhere.

For a brief second I thought you were gonna say Indiana. If you went to Indiana, there were a lot of Indian food. Yeah, and that's the weather. Alright, let's go to sports. Sports. Oh boy, here we are at the sports desk. Beep-a-doo, dee-doo-doo. NBA Playoffs, we've got the final four teams there.

We've got the Thunder up one game on the Timberwolves. And then we've got speaking of which Indiana the Indiana Pacers playing the Knicks and that game starts tonight so that's that's actually a good rivalry that's like a 90s rivalry Pacers Knicks it does you know the players aren't there we don't have players talking crap but But you never know. This might spark some new rivalries from them playing. Yeah. And then we've got the Stars Oilers in the NHL

and then the Panthers Hurricanes are the other team. So both one seed Canadian teams, the Jets and Maple Leaves both lose in classic NHL fashion. We now have the Oilers as the only Canadian team and the other three teams are Dallas, Florida and Carolina who are you know always known for their hockey. Right, right. Which I always think is funny it's like the the cold weather teams are always just losing. Well I mean I have to imagine that it's easy to lure good players to warm areas for hockey Yeah, that is true

I mean so it kind of makes it seem ridiculous that a warm weather team would win, but I get it Yeah, plus there's probably the it's only warm on the outside you go inside They're probably like I got out of that heat now now we're in the air-conditioned ice building. It's only warm on the outside. Yeah, it's like a hot pocket. Yep, that's what I was literally about to say. Just like a hot pocket. Molten lava except right in the center. That's just what every hot weather NHL team stadium is like. Yep.

And then in baseball we got the Yankees in first, the Tigers in first, the Mariners in first, the Phillies in first, the Cubs in first, and the Dodgers in first. How was your Dodger birthday game? Great. They lost. But it was fun. The funniest part admittedly was my mom can't accept the world for as it is, I think. And so we went and she bought these tickets for my birthday and it was very lovely. And you know, I got some Dodger dogs, I walked around, drank some, explored the park. Uh, you know, they were losing by four at one point. So I was like, I'm going to go for a walk.

Um, and, uh, I had a blast. I got my, the, the weirdest part is right where my arm, I guess, like my forearm and the top part of my, you know, right near my elbow, but not the elbow is sunburned on both arms, but nowhere else, just right there, which is very weird. So that hurts, but other than that, I had a great time. My mom, however, I guess, cause the seats were smaller than usual.

My dad couldn't get comfortable. So she was upset about that. My dad wasn't having a good time. My mom kept apologizing. She's like, you know, these seats I had before were better. And I was like, these are fine. I'm doing all. She's like, I know. Oh, and they didn't went on your game. You know, like all that kind of stuff. Right. And she, I, it was very much like a, her trying to preempt me being upset, but I wasn't upset. I was having a great time. And I literally had to in the car on the ride home be like, stop apologizing. I don't want to hear about the seats anymore. I don't like it's fine. It

was, I had a good time. You don't need to apologize for something that's not, it's not in your head. You did nothing. You did nothing wrong. Why are you upset? It's that kind of stuff. Or I was like, calm down. It's chill. I had a great time. So yeah, I had a good time. I walked around and looked at stuff. I drank a little. It was good. The guy sitting next to my dad was a Japanese man who he kept claiming in broken English that he was Otani's former roommate in Japan. And we were like, okay. That's definitely interesting. Yeah. I was like, I'm not sure that man had a former roommate like yeah

He's been very good at baseball his entire life and only was ever in like baseball lodgings, but whatever okay? Yeah, I don't I don't know if he would have a roommate outside of like fellow teammates that would probably also be playing baseball Yeah, I was like but he insisted he insisted and so I was like oh, yeah, oh cool cool What if he's gone to every Dodgers game as a fan, then he's just convinced himself of that so he just tells anybody around It's quite possible. Yeah, it's good. I will say it is prevalent That we have a very good Japanese player because the audience was like the crowd Was a lot of Japanese tourists. Oh, yeah

That's like it was there was a lot of lines and stuff because people were trying to translate and I was like honestly I kind of dig it. Yeah, it's um, that's why a lot of the Japanese players sign with West Coast teams usually plus they're closer to home so and the amount of Japanese food themed things now? Pretty insane. My favorite part is they had a, we were walking by, and I'm not sure how best to describe this, but you know like Takoyaki, the little octopus balls, right? Well they have a mascot for them. It's a little tiny ball octopus boy. He's very cute.

But what's funny about it is they have stands in the park now at Dodger Stadium where you literally can just get Japanese finger foods. And one of the best parts was my dad walking by was like, what's that? When you're sitting there, they have giant screens, right? One of the best parts was my dad walking by was like, what's that? When you're sitting there, they have giant screens, right? Yeah. One of the giant screens was broadcasting

a full on commercial for them, explaining what they were. And I was like, ah, they know my parents. And I thought that was very cute, cause it was like, first we take the octopus and then we give it love. And I'm like, okay. All right. It was cute.

It was pretty fun. I mean, we have Japanese players on the Cubs, so we get some Japanese visitors and stuff like that, but I don't think it's nearly as much as LA. Yeah, oh no, it was sizable to the point where it wasn't just a few people here and there, it was noticeable. Everyone who was sitting around us,

I would say everyone sitting around us, I would say out of everyone sitting around us, like, I don't know, three fifths of them were, I'm not gonna say Japanese, but I'll say Asian. And the one, hilariously, even in America, the loudest person, drunk American woman, loudly screaming, every time they, you know, got a home run against them or couldn't strike out a batter, she was like, like, loudly. At one point, it was so funny. She's like, my five-year-old could throw better than that. And the guy sitting next to her was like, you don't have a five-year-old. She's like, yeah, I have a grandson though. I was like, damn, Grandma, okay. She was gone was gone dude she was so drunk and I was

like well I'm glad all these tourists who came here I could barely speak English got to have this great moment that's very good yeah yeah I had a good time yeah um that sports oh okay has anyone come to us with tears in the... Wait, no, we have fact of the day first. Yes. And then we get tears. All right.

That's right. I'll have to wait for the tears. That's right. Fact of the tears. All right. Uh, fact of the day. Yep. Um. Yes?

Yeah, this one kind of ties back. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr of neon tetra fish cue so that they don't collide or clog up the line. Scientists interpreted this behavior is showing that fish can respect social rules even in emergency situations unlike humans. I was about to say. So I wonder if maybe it's just as simple as the fish are all British I think is what we learned. That's true they might just help you British fish who quite right come tetras here's a little cute you get a lot yeah yeah the ocean's basically tea you know yeah when you really think about it yes basically just tea so I get it checks out this is a

fact of the day all right to us come to us with tears in their eyes? We've got tears. Here are... We've got tears. Here are the tears. Dear illustrious sirs, I come before thee with tears in my eyes from seasonal allergies

and implore of you, what topics of discussion would each of your parents bring should they ever be guests on this podcast? I don't know. The best part is I know my mom listens, so she would 100% tell me. Like we might have an update next time of what she would bring. In fact, didn't she, uh,

she wanted me to talk about the Pope's portillo's order and eat it on stream. Right? That's true. Yes. She messaged me and said you should ask Cranor to go get the Pope dog or whatever the hell It is at Portillo's. Italian beef, yeah. Yeah, and then report back. Yeah, the thing is already offering advice The thing is I looked it up. It's pretty much the exact Italian beef order I get when I go to Portillo's so it's like I kind of already know what it tastes like and Me thinking you're you'd be a good pope continues. Exactly.

I already eat like the pope. Yeah. Just like him. Yeah, what would your dad talk about? My dad would probably start out making jokes and then veer very quickly into politics. He'd be very progressive, yet a little racist at the same time. Like I just know what would happen.

He'd be like, you know, like, yeah, yeah, I agree with this. No, okay, nevermind. Yeah. Yeah, I think my mom would just be like, I'm just happy to be here. And then my dad would be probably about the same, but he would be telling more jokes. He loves to try to tell jokes.

Yeah, my dad would definitely try to tell jokes, and they'd be inappropriate at best. Yes, 100%. There'd be a joke he heard once in 1967 that he thought was amazing, and I'm just doing a little retelling and it's like dad No, no, no, I'm not here. You can't Yeah, no, it's pretty much the same So there we go

And then Dear illustrious sirs do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Wait, what do you mean? What? The approval system for SCP. Ah, okay, now we know. Yeah, there you go, now you know. That was really a question. Yeah, I was gonna say, I was like, okay, and? I will say based on SCP, last time we were talking about it I went to go look up some. Hmm.

I forget it's fan-based. of them not necessarily written well oh yeah I mean it's I read through some of us like who wrote this this is this could be great like the idea of what it was I was like oh this is cool and then I started reading it was like oh, this is seventh grade that best Yeah, it's I mean I'm still under the impression that school actually teaches you how to write terribly Because it death I had to like unlearn as I was writing and learning more about writing you learn that school teaches you essentially to fill your Paper with meaningless filler words to hit a word count, right? Because it's, they'll be like, write a 1000 word essay on whatever.

And so you'll be like, this is an essay about the ways that things are in the place called England. And you just like stretch everything out so you can hit the word count. But then when you actually start writing, I think you have to unlearn that because people don't want to read that because it's just you don't read unnecessary words you just want the shortest sentences possible to get your point across. Yeah and I think that's definitely something that well at least when I taught it wasn't a big thing that I was trying to do I was more about about like, whatever your topic is, I want you to write as if you're passionate

about it, even though you hate it. You know what I mean? Like you were assigned this, but I know it's not your first choice. Like if you're doing a book report, for example, I'd be like, okay, I know there's this one girl she'd always have on her, like erotic books. That was her thing That's what she read and I would never hate her for that. I would always be like yo new book She's like, yeah, this one's about I don't know this lady who goes around banging dudes I don't know whatever the hell here and I was like cool

I'm glad you're reading and when I would explain book reports to her because she hated reading other books, I'd be like, just write, when you explain to me your books, write to me as if you were explaining the book you love, but it's this book you're forced to read by the state. Just do that. It doesn't have to be 500 pages. Just give it the same care you would for the book about like, you know, Janice's

adventures in, she started her own business, but she's got three guys who are interested in her and she's sleeping with all three guys, but they don't know, but when they find out, she's in a world of hurt. And I'm like, all right, yeah, okay. Do the same thing, but for to kill a mockingbird. Please, same, and it went so much better than everyone has to write 500 words or six pages or whatever the case may be. Because yeah, you're completely right. People would do the like, in ancient Greece,

which was an ancient time in Greece, there were many gods, plural, because there was more than one god in ancient Greece. That is because they were not monotheistic, which is the worship of one god. Like, okay, alright. Yeah, so, you can't blame people for writing like that, because it literally is taught to you, and you're just trying to take the easiest route possible to getting it done. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. It's school, you're like, to take the easiest route possible to getting absolutely yeah yeah it's cool you're like oh five hundred words great you

didn't say they had to be good five hundred words yeah well that was probably even worse people just like chat GPT write me a book report then you get like 30 of the same book reports and it's like I know what you all did write it again there's your dear illustrious sirs. Alright! It's time for a big new story of the day. Crendor, this is barely news. But I think it is. I think this is the greatest new story I've ever seen. I have a photo for you at the end.

Anyway, as you know, on Twitter, X, whatever we call it now, the advertisements, as most advertisers have left, Mm-hmm as you know on Twitter X whatever we call it now The advertisements as most advertisers have left because that place is assessable. All right Um now ads are just random dudes paying for ad space and it is all over the place crazy I've posted about it before where it's just like Sometimes the lady trying to be like hey Come look at my only fans and sometimes it's a lady trying to be like, hey, come look at my OnlyFans. And sometimes it's a dude just randomly being like, did you know that Mexicans are gonna kill your kids?

And it's like, what the hell? Yep. Anyway, I found the best version of this. And it's so long and amazing, and I can't believe some dude paid for this. I just need you to know, this is the greatest thing I've ever read. And I'm sure if you went to Twitter right now you could probably find this ad.

Ladies, siren emoji, here is the brutal truth you need to hear. After 20 years at the top of the game, I have seen it all. And my verdict for the ladies is devastating but true capitals. Most women are terrible at picking up men. My verdict for the ladies is devastating but true capitals. Most women are terrible at picking up men. They sit around waiting for guys to approach them and end up with whatever broke awkward zero value loser shows up. No wonder your life is miserable and full of regrets.

The path to a dream life is through a high quality man who protects and provides for his woman. Anything less is a guaranteed life of struggle and regret. If I were a woman, this is the exact roadmap I would use to secure a high quality man and build the life, I'm sorry, dream life every woman secretly craves. One, level up your body to the highest level. Gym, strict diet, full discipline. Men with money and power do not chase average. They want perfection.

If your body is average, so is your dating pool. Two, go full luxury. Book an elite plastic surgeon. dating pool. 2. Go full luxury. Book an elite plastic surgeon. New tits are crucial. Every real man loves them. Simple as that. Tight waist, polished face, like it or not, men are very visual.

Upgrade your presentation significantly if you want to attract high quality men. 3. Start fishing in the right waters. Change your environment, stop partying with broke boys and begin fishing in billionaire waters. Yacht clubs, luxury hotels, and business lounges are where you find high quality men. Sounds like prostitution, okay for make the first move by the way this is an ad this is some guys it is so long I can't believe

that this is the stuff that's on there right now it's incredible for make the first move yes approach him a powerful tactic is to write your number on a note with a short compliment and hand it to him. Men respect confident and feminine energy. You will really stand out. And you have just moved ahead of every passive woman still waiting for the right man to show up. 5. It's a numbers game. Like everything else in life, don't settle for anything less than elite quality. The chance that the first man, with a watch and a smile as your soulmate is almost zero. Go through your options and experience some rejections. It will only make

you stronger. Then, sooner or later, you'll find your soulmate. The man who gives you the life all women desperately crave to have. 6. This is very important. Get a clear photo of his face early and run face recognition online. That gives you full background access. If he's a broke, weak, or low value male, walk away immediately. Next! Walk away immediately period. Next period. The insanity needs to stop. No more broke men who pay with coupons and split the bill.

You have one life. Do not throw it away and end up miserable, full of regrets. Choose a life of high quality man and it will become the love story. You could never even dream about. Good luck queens. Play to win. PS. Yes, I could easily teach any woman how to attract any man she desires and be for women what Andrew Tate is for men, a builder of high quality value. But I'm on a mission from God, so there's little time for distractions. Therefore, sorry ladies, the ultimate high-quality man is busy

And I just want to right now at the end here Send you this image Of the ultimate high-quality man Yep, that's Pretty much exactly what I was expecting. My favorite part is at the end of the ad he just posts this photo of himself. Like, sir, I would not have posted the photo. I just wouldn't have let anyone know. I would be like, no, no, no, that's alright. I would not have done that either.

I cannot believe that that is someone's, not only hot take which is crazy a crazy thing to say because it's clear he's not looking for a girlfriend or a wife but like a prostitute is what he's looking for and more importantly he paid for it to be an ad and then was like I want to be for women what Andrew Tate is for men but not really because I'm with God Queens Bye Like it's just one of the craziest things I've ever read And I know he means it Which is even funnier

You definitely know he means it It's also just It shows number one how bad the Twitter ads and shit are there now Especially you can make money off tweets and stuff people are just flooded with spam number it read like He was doing the opposite of Cosmo like he was doing his own Yes, it really it really reads even though it's like dear ladies. This is for you It really reads is like a thing for guys to read

Even though it's like dear ladies. This is for you. It really reads is like a thing for guys to read Yeah, it feels like he's just talking about his own things of what he wants like just being like you need fake boobs like I Don't think if you went around interviewing men they would all say that but it's like I think the worst part about this is a lot of people just be like This is what men want and it's like there's literally billions of men and women. And people being like, this is what women want. It's like, I don't think you can just generalize billions of people.

What's crazy about it, besides all of it, is the fact that the start of it, it's like, okay. He's like, hey man, I've lived a life that, you know, I don't know, starting at 20 years, the top of my game. I don't think that's accurate at all. But he says, you know, women are terrible at picking up men. That is actually something I agree with that statement. I think that societally women have most of the time been told that men will come to you and you need to give them subtle hints to like let them know it's okay and no man I'll say most men can't pick up on that at all they just can't then it's just it's so funny to watch

dudes not realize that a woman's into them like all right I can agree with that statement in fact his next one number one level up your body I think that's good for everyone I think everyone should level up their body. But then it's the follow-up paragraph that's insane where he's like, you know, you need to be on a strict diet. You need full discipline. Men don't want average. They want like perfection. I don't know that that sounds psychotic. That sounds like the guy we saw at that Los Angeles mall. That sounds like the guy we saw at that Los Angeles mall. The inlaid, you're done eating. Yes, yes. Exactly.

And then he says, two, go full luxury. And in my mind, I'm thinking, like, yeah, treat yourself, Queen, you got this. But the next sentence is, book an elite plastic surgeon. New tits are crucial. I was like, all right, go full luxury is not new tits. I don't think that's what that means, but it is to him which is hilarious And then he's like then he's like start fishing in the right waters And I kind of agree if you want to find someone of us like certain type

Go to where that person would be like that makes perfect sense to me that one That's a good, but he's like but he's like go to yacht clubs luxury hotels and business lounges again That's just you're gonna get confused for a prostitute if you do that don't do that that is I mean is that where he goes? or is he just Telling them maybe I don't know it's correct and then him saying make the first move. Yeah. Look. I think that's great I think everyone should be able to ask someone out. That's fine Yeah, look, I think that's great. I think everyone should be able to ask someone out. That's fine. But then he says things like, Men respect confidence and feminine energy.

But I know his definition of feminine energy and confidence is not my definition. Oh yeah. I agree, yeah. It sounds like he's reading or he's writing his own like fanfiction of what he wants In his mind there is definitely a very particular girl. He's thinking of yeah Like he was like I wish she would ask me out and then also accept that I think her tits are too small And I'm gonna make her go to a plastic surgeon like I think that's what's happening here Like I think he wants to go to the yacht club get invited Like I think he wants to go to the yacht club get invited

And then she shows up and is like hey want to go out he's like damn you got fake tits and And a great personality and feminine energy. Yeah, let's do it. I must stress for the record here There's nothing about personality in here at all. Yeah, of course not. Nothing. Personality is not included. Being confident and having feminine energy and approaching men is included. But I would wonder, because at the end he says, it's a number game. Go through the ejection, right? Right.

How much you want to bet if a woman approached him and said, hey, I think you're great. And she looks exactly how he wants. And he's super into her. And then she said, oh, said, Hey, I think you're great. And she looks exactly how he wants. And he's super into her. And then she said, Oh yeah, no, I've been following your advice for a while, especially number five on numbers game. And I've dated a lot of men. You say here, go through your options, experience some rejections. It only makes you stronger. Sooner later, you'll find your soulmate. She's like, you're my soulmate. And I finally found you. And I'm ready to go. Like even if it was 10 guys He'd be like you were ten guys before me tramp like I just know this type of guy, and it's like what?

It's very clear. He's just like looking for an anime waifu. It's not a real person He's looking for this is definitely the type of guy that goes on Instagram and leaves comments that are at the bottom of the comments section of just like yo Hit me up When you are you knows open? Or is the guy to go into like twitch streams with girls and just be like yo what's up looking good today and if they're like please

don't say that he'll be like dumb bitch. That's definitely this guy. You know there's just you need energy about this post. The fact again this is literally just some dudes ramble that he then took and Paid to be an ad For what again? He's not advertising anything

There's not you know, there's no link to click on there's no brochure to buy at the end He's like ladies. I would love to help you, but I'm with God and I can't buy like so what was this just pay to like talk some shit is that the exact he made off of it or something maybe like it's the exact same vibes when someone subscribes for a subscriber on chat to be like you suck it's like okay thanks for the money man yeah it's a weird vibe I don't get it yeah like the only thing I could think weird vibe. I don't get it. Yeah like The only thing I could think of is like I know you make money off tweets So maybe these tweets make money because they generate clicks

And then they will say it had a lot of views so maybe but there's no click You know what I mean like where do you get a click? I don't know how it actually works at Twitter money So I don't know yeah yeah I just I just don't understand and I don't think we ever will and that's the big news story of the day all right that's it for us thanks for listening and watching over during this podcast Cranndor hit them with the socials we've got socials youtube.com slash coxincorrendor podcast, all one word on YouTube. That's where you can leave the comments for Dear Lustrous Sirs, your weather requests

or any other comments or things you'd like to say. Subscribe, hit the bell, listen, playlists, watch. We've got youtube.com slash coxinc crendor that's where all the animations are then we're on spotify we're on itunes we're on soundcloud we're on other places you can find us on our main stuff we got youtube jessie cox youtube crendor twitch jessie cox twitch crendor

facebook jessie cox facebook crendor patreon jessie cox patreon crendor instagram notorious cox instagram crendor is taken tik tok crendor tik tok jessie cox tik tok crendor was taken Tick tock crendor tick tock just got stick tock crend clips cocks clips Yeah again I just went to Twitter just to see the first ad that popped up my first ad is Literally a photo of Jesus and it says Jesus Christ activated God consciousness not the ritual or religion

But through the power of yoga and breath That's just that's it's where's the ad dude, where's the ad I Mean, yeah, he just wanted us to know dude was like everyone needs to know what I'm willing to pay for this That's great I just can't I don't know if it's me algorithmically or I don't know what's going on, but I can't believe this is... these are my ads. That is... You know, 3rd Corinthians, Jesus did yoga, top the hills, unleashed his energy,

his chakras. Yeah, I don't know. Tell us any fun tweets you find, advertisements. Yeah, let us know in the comments. Anyway, thanks so much, see you all next time, and as always, shake the Rhino to be continued. Thanks for watching. See you next time. Bye.