Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 484 - Three Balls and a Dream

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

The boys are back and this time Crendor discovers that there was once an Italian royal crest that featured 3 "balls". Jesse of course becomes obsessed. Speaking of obsessed, the boys have some things ...to say about Twitch these days and peoples obsession with attention. Oh and apparently times are to tough people are using pumpkins as boats. All this and so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Eat smart at https://factormeals.com/cox50off and use code cox50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Go to http://uncommongoods.com/cox for 15% off your next gift.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to by Uncommon Goods. Uncommon Goods has some really fun holiday gifts for this holiday season should you want to give gifts, which is kind of the point. Also today, we're brought to by Factor. Factor's got good meals delivered right to your home if you're trying to eat healthy. And let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost and Fred Dog. In the morning. In the morning.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Broadcastle live, live, live, live. In 4-hour reporting studio, recording. Recording. Let me wake your ass up. It's up, Gak, Crendon, in the morning. Hap, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, d'clock in the morning. Hello, everybody, well, excited to the episode of Cox and Crendor in the morning. Dude, you went so high on that, it cut out on Discord.
Starting point is 00:00:52 It was, it's just like, welcome to up in the morning. I can't wait to see what the auto-translation picks it up has. Oh yeah, isn't there like, is there like some YouTube auto AI thing now for translation? I think there's also on Spotify. All I know is I very much enjoy trying to freak it out. Now that I know auto translations are trying to figure out what that intro says, I do it a little different every time. Gonna switch it up, gonna freak him out.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Yeah. That's not a bad idea. It's the little things. Yeah. It's I know one of my channels Someone was like Can you please turn off
Starting point is 00:01:33 That AI Auto Translate shit And I was just like Sure I don't even know what it does But I'll turn it off I mean Here's my question
Starting point is 00:01:44 If it's Autotranslating now What was it doing before Was that AI auto translate Because when translations Would appear What was the difference Between now and then
Starting point is 00:01:55 And is it better now Or worse. And also, couldn't you just turn off closed captions if that was an issue? Um, you know, I have no idea. And if you turned on closed captions, then you were upset by the AI auto thing. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't know how it works. I don't know how it works either. It's, to be fair, even just like figuring out how things normally work is hard to do.
Starting point is 00:02:25 You know? That is surprisingly real. You know what? Even normal things, I'm like, don't even. Yeah, that's kind of like some of those shows like how it's made back in the day, you know. It was always fun. What was that one show that the guy from the slime show did? Was that Mark Marin or whoever that was?
Starting point is 00:02:47 Or Mark Summers? Yes, Summers. The guy who go around and he like look and see how Twinkies were made. Once you saw how it was made, it kind of ruined everything. Yeah, unwrap. unwrapped. That was a fun show to watch because I was like, oh, that's interesting. It made me not want to eat any of those foods ever
Starting point is 00:03:03 again. That's, uh, oh my God. But it was interesting. That's like I was on TikTok and I started getting Alton Brown TikTok and he's talking about like salt and stuff. I was like, dude, hell yeah, this is great. Yeah, I like a good Alton Brown TikTok. You know what? His old show, Good Eats. That was a vibe. I would watch that all the time. Late at night
Starting point is 00:03:24 when I was in college, I'd watch it all the time at night. Yeah, that was great. That's why, um, oh man, I think, uh, his TikTok's got like three TikToks, but they're all in like the same fashion of good eats. Like he's got that good eats formula going, which is great. I love it. It was always a good formula. Honestly, that show was probably the most expensive show on Food Network. Oh, yeah, probably. The amount of cameras and editing and like stuff they had to do and put can, they had cameras inside everything. Yeah. So, I mean, What else did they have? They'd like Iron Chef. Yeah, but I imagine
Starting point is 00:03:59 like most reality TV shows that's on the cheap. Reality TV shows are the cheaper end of TV. Yeah. And then they just had cooking like Emeril, you know? Right. Yeah, but that's a one, maybe two camera show
Starting point is 00:04:14 where it's just one set and he goes bam, and he says, like most shows are just they build a set. They probably have eight or nine sets all in one building. And they move stuff around and they film at different hours the day so everyone, you know, it's quiet or whatever. And then, yeah, but Alton Brown, that show, they had skits and bits and science and they were doing experiments and all.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Like, that is, I imagine that had to been expensive, which is why it lasted a while, but when they started cutting shows, that was definitely one of the ones that went. Yeah. Yeah, it was definitely one of the best shows that Food Network ever had. It was fantastic. Yeah, it wasn't like a background show. Most Food Network shows are background shows Like diners, drivers and the dives
Starting point is 00:04:57 I love it That's not a show you watch to watch Yeah That's a show you put on the background When you do something else It definitely is There's honestly plenty of those types of shows too Just unlike any
Starting point is 00:05:10 Even like HGTVs got plenty of those Where it's just like We're gonna remodel our entire house Like it's very much a background show Like some shows are just straight up background shows And I mean I think a lot of people Do that for even streams and stuff too Like streams are good background noise.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Oh, for sure. Yes, that is one of the things I get often. Although, man, I, even this last week I was talking with someone for a future episode of Tell Me About. And we were talking about V-tubers and how this one V-tuber did, like, this is why I know we suck, dude. This is why I know we're bad at entertaining. So this girl was involved in, this V-tuber girl was like, involved. in some sort of goof where her audience was making fun of her because she was
Starting point is 00:05:59 I think into some guy or into some anime. I don't remember what the case was but what she did instead of just say no uh uh uh uh is she got all of her friends and all of her audience to do a trial to determine whether she really was into it or not and they hosted a massive trial Dude, that's brilliant.
Starting point is 00:06:24 That is so interactive. The fans were trying to, the fans were the jury. She had people come on and, like, that's incredible. Yeah, that is. And that's when I was like, oh, no, I'm bad at this. I never would have thought to do that. That's really smart. That's so engaging and fun.
Starting point is 00:06:42 And I was like, I guess I could stream me playing a video game again. I was like, oh, I suck. Yeah, I mean, there's plenty of people out there that are very creative and, Doing a bunch of stuff. But at the same time, then there's people that are just like chat, viewers, like, what should I do? And it's like, dude, this is your channel. This is your stream. Like, do what you want.
Starting point is 00:07:02 I think because a lot of people spend too much time streaming. That's also true. I definitely had a, I don't want to say mental break, but a crash out this week. I was just pissed at streamers in general for doing the bottom of the barrel, bare minimum levels of entertainment. And I was like, you are literally, we've talked about this before. It's like you're literally a street entertainer, but just online. Entertain. I have no problem if you watch a movie or TV show, whatever.
Starting point is 00:07:32 But if you like get up and leave for 20 minutes while that's happening, or if you like start to do something with your audience and then you spend the time on the phone, like that kind of thing. That to me screams, I stream because I feel like I need to be online all the time, rather than I stream because I'm trying to do a show. or entertain my audience. Yeah. I mean,
Starting point is 00:07:56 I would say... I just don't like when people give up. It seems like they just don't like it is the vibe I get. Well, I'm going to tell you right now, a vast majority of streamers and stuff don't like it. They just keep doing it because they're making money. Like,
Starting point is 00:08:10 yeah, so cynical. I hate it. Yeah, I hate that. Same with YouTube. I mean, there's plenty of people who's doing YouTube.
Starting point is 00:08:15 They don't care. They're just doing it for money. Which, I mean, there's plenty of jobs where people just do it for the money. I mean, I mean, dude, that's that one girl who I'm obsessed with, the, the, the ASMR person who started in 2020, I still will check in on her and be like, what's the vibe? What's going on? And the fall off from when she's really cared about making content to now her making content just to keep money coming in so she can continue to buy all the crazy outfits and stuff she wears all the time.
Starting point is 00:08:44 She is so tired of, like, making videos. It's really obvious. It is so funny to want. Anyway, yeah, I don't want people to think I'm shitting on this girl. She is literally just a science experiment for me. Like, I am fascinated by her. Genuinely fascinated. It's straight up like you look at younger people and you go, I remember when I thought like you.
Starting point is 00:09:06 I remember when this is the way I thought. And then you're like, see, they're going to go through like it. One day you'll learn to take your breaks. It's literally like what old people do to the young people. But, I mean, they're right. This is the ancient wisdom. that they're putting that like this is our ancient YouTube wisdom that we're spreading now yeah it's it's tough to say and this is probably the same thing that the elderly folks in real life
Starting point is 00:09:32 deal with it's tough to say to a kid hey don't do that it's wrong etc etc when as a kid you're living in the moment and in this case for example uh YouTube or streaming you're watching the money come in you have some drive you're getting you're getting you're You know, you're living this incredible life and you feel like if I stop, then all that will die down. Which admittedly, real talk, it does. If you take a break, you will get hurt for taking a break. You just have to decide that that hurt is worth your sanity. Like, yeah, all right, you're going to make less money because you took like a week or a month off.
Starting point is 00:10:13 And when you come back, less people are going to care because you're out of their conscious now. But you'll feel better, you know? And then I think people will get upset. Like, well, no, I won't feel better because no one will love me anymore. It's like, they didn't love you anyway, dude. It's, uh, yeah, like you need to just take breaks for your own mental sanity. So it's plus it probably feeds into your content. So you're going to feel better with your content.
Starting point is 00:10:37 I mean, also sometimes people just get tired of what they're doing. I think that's one of the biggest things. Like if you make one thing for forever and then you start doing something else, the viewers are, viewers are going to drop. Like people are going to be like, Remember when you used to do this thing? I mean, people do that with my wow machinemas all the time. Like, where's the bird you make machinima?
Starting point is 00:10:55 We're doing it. And I'm just like, dude, like, we moved on. Like, I've had so many eras of Crendor. That just so happens. Now we're in the pointless top 10 Crendor variety hour. So it's just like, it's another era. We had the Harstone era. We had the PubG era.
Starting point is 00:11:10 We had so many errors. Back in the day, like, those types of videos were great because YouTube was like, it was awesome. Now making a ton of effort into a three-minute video, it'll put you up. on the old YouTube shorts. Right. You'll make like three cents.
Starting point is 00:11:24 It's like, all right, great. So it's just, you know, different time. You got to adapt. You adapt and you change with the times and that's that. So it's, I mean, and people will learn just by being in this industry. And I mean, it can be like any industry, right? Like Netflix and Blockbuster, we've had like, just like numerous, like even retail stores. Retail stores didn't learn over the years.
Starting point is 00:11:48 They're just, they're like, eh, we're still going along. like they haven't adapted and they're trying, but it's like, they're just ancient. So, and it's, I mean, like, it's flattering when someone's like, oh, that thing you did, I really like that. Why don't you do that anymore? I get it. Thank you so much. That's very flattering.
Starting point is 00:12:04 However, I'm adapting, just like you are adapting, like everyone's adapting, to the current trends and times. And I still have bills to pay. And if you want any videos from me, I have to do the way videos need to be done now. Yeah, exactly. Like, that's just the way it is. Yeah, and it's, honestly, I mean, I still think it's fun just having the variety of everything, like doing all the different stuff, like podcast, YouTube, stream.
Starting point is 00:12:33 I think it's fun for a creator. As someone who creates, it's very fun. As an audience, I have no idea, because I don't listen to my own stuff. So I imagine they would be like, hopefully like it. But yeah, I don't, long ago I stopped giving my stuff a watch through again, Except now, whenever you react to me on Too Old for this, I have to watch it, which I'm like, oh. I even notice when you pause at the beginning and I have a weird face and I'm like, ugh. It's funny because like, people always point that out.
Starting point is 00:13:03 They're just like, you pause on the weird Jesse faces. I was like, I didn't even realize. I was just pausing at the start of the video. Like, I don't know. It's, yeah, literally you texted me the one day. You're like, you didn't react yet. I'm like, I'm busy today. I haven't had time to react today.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Yeah, well, that's your mistake. I needed something to watch while I was working out, and you didn't have anything for me. That's true. I'm failing. You let me down. Then we're going to, soon there will be some AI guy making AI cogs and Krenlore to replace us. You know, I wonder if it would be any good. Uh, I, it would be interesting, but not good.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Right. I have to imagine it would suck, but it would be highly entertaining for me, at least for one episode. Yeah, because it would be interesting to see how an AI replicated just us, like our personas. Yeah, if we fed all 480-some episodes into an AI and then it spit something out, what would that be? I kind of need to know, but I'm also terrified of hearing my AI robot voice. Yeah, I would also be terrified of that. It would probably just be like, aha, so what do you think about the sloth? war
Starting point is 00:14:20 it'd probably just have like take a bunch of like buzzwords we've said yes I am a fan of boobs but they are not a fan of me that's for sure
Starting point is 00:14:36 yeah that'd be it yeah like I saw I was watching his stream showing off that AI game the guy that tweeted that out his entire Twitter profiles just like
Starting point is 00:14:48 like AI wizard, AI entrepreneur, AI, whatever, AI. Like his entire profile was that. So you know, you know, he was just like, this is awesome. You know how bad it sucks is last night, or maybe it was early this morning, it's blending together. I'll be honest with you. I watched a, like a news report where they were making fun of that very clip. So when the normal like six o'clock news or whatever, or morning news is making.
Starting point is 00:15:18 fun of it, you know it's bad. Like, that footage sucks. It's embarrassing. Yeah, it's and like the people creating this stuff aren't going to actually play these games. They just like the idea of being like,
Starting point is 00:15:35 dude, we can create games and like pump it at the same way they pump out like YouTube videos and make money. They just care about money. It wasn't even a game. It was a series of clips that he then strung together with weird text prompts at the bottom. So it was like a point-and-click, choose-your-own adventure.
Starting point is 00:15:50 More like Dragonslayer, that old arcade game where you'd like have to move through the level. Except you weren't controlling anything. You were just selecting one of three prompts like, you know, like right-left mid. Except if you looked at what those prompts were, when he clicked it, the thing it said did not happen. All it did was keep moving you forward. And at one point, the man walks down a subway track and then it turns. into a subway car that he then goes into and throws a grenade
Starting point is 00:16:22 that explodes but then keeps rolling on like it's just one of the stupidest thing I've ever seen and the fact that he's like this is the future if that's the future I'm taking up books I'm done I can't like that sucks he says this is the future it looks like a generic like any generic FPS game
Starting point is 00:16:38 you've ever seen in the last 10 years like no one wants to play that like even if that was even visually if it didn't look jank if all the weird artifacts and things weren't happening. If it was just click to move, click to move, no one would play that.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Like it kind of just looked like the division. You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it reminded me of, but just like weird. Like a really shitty division. Like if I was having a dream. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:07 It did look kind of dream-esque. Things happened for no reason. It was like, oh, a train just came out of nowhere. My gun's shooting like a invisible wall. Like just like random shit happening. Like, I don't know. Also, by the way, when I looked up Cox and Crenthor, it said the host are known for their improvisational Seinfeldian controversial style. Yo, that's, I mean, that's us.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Sincelden controversial style. That's how I would describe us. Sure. Yeah. Who said this? The Google AI. When I typed in. Yeah, damn right.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Yeah. Also, I feel like all the people that do the, like, AI games or just like all that. They're the same people that did NFTs, like 100%. Which, by the way, did you see that when Amazon's online service or whatever the servers went down this past week and websites couldn't be accessed and everything was a mess on the internet, people lost their NFTs for a minute. And then it was like, but I thought I own those. Like, dude, you didn't own shit. What are you talking about? Idiot?
Starting point is 00:18:14 it's like thinking you own your like shit you've got on Steam or something like sure you own it but yeah at any point in time Steam can revoke a game you own I have had plenty games where it was a copy that was sent for review
Starting point is 00:18:34 and when the review date was over even though I hadn't beaten the game they took back their copy yeah like companies can do that Steam could do that. There's nothing stopping them from just taking a game or removing the servers for a game
Starting point is 00:18:49 and then it's pointless to play it. It's just taking them space. Yeah. It's honestly, like, I have just like thinking of Steam games. I have so many Steam games. It's actually kind of insane because when you think back on it, like I remember being a kid just being like,
Starting point is 00:19:05 oh man, if I just had like more games or like some games, but now I have like hundreds, if not thousands of games and I'm just like, if I play like the same things I've been playing over and over. I mean, that's a comfort game, right? Like, that will never change. A game that you love and can keep going back to and playing over and over and over again, that's a game you will play 10 years from now and still enjoy. And though you and I probably have way more games than most people,
Starting point is 00:19:35 I think that while we play many games, we just like everyone else, succumb to the comfort game thing. Whatever that is for us. I mean, that's also, uh, that's also wow to me just because, like, you also have, like, so many variations of wow, you got retail, wow, got classic wow, you got remix stuff. Like, there's so many ways to play the game. Or you can just, like, farm stuff. Yeah, and they do a good job of, of keeping you in it.
Starting point is 00:20:00 They are very good at being like, there's so many wows to mess with. Yeah. So, I mean, stuff like that's nice. And then, you know, I'll find games like, just rogolites, like Mega Bunk or Ball Pit. Those keep me going for a while. So it's like, I just like those types of gameplay loops. But everybody has their own gameplay loop that they enjoy. That's the fun of, you know, finding that.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Finding what you enjoy. Yeah. And that's what Twitch television used to be. Having fun with video games. Yeah, having fun. Finding the thing you loved and sticking with it. Now it's kind of like, you know, people, I honestly, I think Twitch is kind of like how people feel about PVP games
Starting point is 00:20:42 and that when you talk to them just like you with League of Legends they hate love it and I think it's a lot of streaming where it's so drama filled and everyone's picking fights and everyone's got like beef I can't tell you the amount of
Starting point is 00:20:59 nonsense drama I've seen since TwitchCon and I guess I shouldn't call it nonsense because some of it's like real drama but there's so much of it and I genuinely had the thought of like, so wait, what does that person do on their stream? Do they
Starting point is 00:21:15 just drama farm for four hours every day? Is that exhausting? What do people, do people tune in? And I realize people definitely tune in just for like, the T. Oh, yeah. But it's shocking to me that that's just, that's the
Starting point is 00:21:31 industry now. I'm like, oh, okay. Anyway, I'll be playing my game. I mean, even yesterday when I was streaming, when I did just chatting, I had way more viewers than when I started playing games. Yeah. It's just the industry.
Starting point is 00:21:46 I would say a lot of people just like watching that because it's like you're interacting with somebody that you like to watch usually. So it's like maybe they watch you play games on a different you know like on YouTube or like they've watched you play games on Twitch before. So it's fun
Starting point is 00:22:00 to just see you talk for a bit just as yourself. Oh for sure. Like the drama aspect of everything that's just like life. Like I think Twitch and YouTube have a lot of drama because people work together and there's YouTubers and streamers that have massive
Starting point is 00:22:16 egos and you just get them all together and shit's going to happen. Like that's money. Egos and money. But, I mean, you could go find drama. Go to like a local doctor's office and the receptionist working there will be like, God, I hate Jane. She's the worst.
Starting point is 00:22:32 They'll be like, oh, hey, Jane. Like this drama, like, oh, this doctor's a dickhead. They'll just be like, oh, yeah, sure, sure. I mean, like, some people are assholes and dicks, but then there's like, there's a level of attention whore when it comes to YouTube and Twitch that is, it's just unfathomable to me. Like the idea that, you know, there's the whole Hassan, did he electrocute his dog or not thing?
Starting point is 00:23:00 Yep. Right. But then at TwitchCon, people showed up dressed as Hassan and his dog in cosplay. Right. Like that is, and it wasn't just, you know, like a fan or whatever, it was other streamers trying to cause drama. Well, yeah, you get views and stuff off that. I get it, but like that's the level of attention horror where I'm like, no, dude, that's pathetic. That's sad.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Like, that is very obviously sad. Well, that's why this is what, not just Twitter, but like the internet entertainment has become. It's become like one-uping everybody in terms. terms of dramatic crazy shit that you do. And like, it's only a matter of time before it gets, like, too insane, which it's already pretty insane. But, like, it's going to keep getting worse. Like, there's going to be people disrupting the public, disrupting, like, just crazy
Starting point is 00:23:54 shit out. Like, it has to, it has to hit a breaking point at some point. Yeah, it's the same thing has been happening for a while where people act crazy, get punished for, like, seven-day ban, come back and are more popular than ever. Yeah. There's no real punishment for acting a fool. If anything, it's encouraged. Mostly, look, we got to put that.
Starting point is 00:24:17 The CEO of Twitch needs to be put on blast. That guy is. Yeah. That guy's a mess, dude. Yeah. No, it's, I mean, the one time he was showing off features on his phone, and it was just, it was just like all Twitch girls on his follows. So, like, is
Starting point is 00:24:38 My man, what are you doing? Well, I know one thing he's not doing is keeping the convention safe. We know that for sure. Yeah, shit. And we know he's not adding any value to the platform with new features
Starting point is 00:24:55 or creativity. That's also for sure. But he is gooning at a very high level. So, you know. Insane high levels. Truly. Truly unfathomable. Dude, dude, I need to tell you something that happened to me last night.
Starting point is 00:25:13 This was so funny. So I'm coming back from the office and the guy in front of me is like, I don't know, swerving, acting a fool, being crazy. And I can't figure out what's going on with this guy. Like I thought maybe he's drunk. I don't know what's going on. So because it's one lane, I'm just backing off a little bit. Right. I don't want to get caught up in whatever this person's deal is.
Starting point is 00:25:41 They're just a little all over the place. Anyway, we hit a red light and the door opens. The back, like a back passenger right side door opens. And a dude runs out. I'm going to say at first I thought it was a child, but his face looked very old. He had blue hair and was wearing a red shirt. and he ran down the street into an alley. What?
Starting point is 00:26:11 And I was like, what exactly? I was like, what? And in my, I don't even know how much time had passed. I was so confused. The right side passenger door was still open. Then the left side opens. And the guy comes around, he closes the left side door, comes around. He is wearing a red shirt, has crazy blue hair.
Starting point is 00:26:36 And I realized right then that his shirt said thing to. Oh. And so he went to the right side door, closed the door, and ran down the alleyway after the other guy. Ah, I see. Now, here's my problem. All right. I don't know if this is because it was a Saturday night in L.A. the week before Halloween. And these were people dressed up in costumes.
Starting point is 00:27:03 or if it was a Saturday night in L.A. And this is just stuff that happens on Saturday nights in L.A. You know, it could be anything. That's what I'm saying. I was, my jaw hit the floor. I don't know what I was looking at. I fully expected the driver's seat to open and the cat and the hat to get out. I'd be like, where are you guys going?
Starting point is 00:27:29 We've got a party to be at. those the car in front of me drove off completely normal not swerving at all drove off got to the main street and and turned away but those two dudes i have no idea where they went they ran down an alley and vanished they didn't get back in the car there was something going on there and i feel like i witnessed a story about 45 minutes into the story you know what i mean yeah like i sat down to watch a movie and i have no context for anything that's happening that's how i felt that is sometimes you just see stuff like that and you're like is this a TikTok is this like somebody filming something or is it like is this just like actually just crazy people is this just people having fun
Starting point is 00:28:16 like you don't know especially in LA that's what I'm saying it could have been anything if this was in other parts of the country I'd be like oh Halloween right right right right sure but it's LA I have seen bird men on the side of the road I saw a frog man while I was going through a drive-thru at a Mexican restaurant.
Starting point is 00:28:34 Oh, yeah, that's right. I have seen some weird things. I saw a guy dressed as a raptor, scaring people at a bus stop. I've seen incredibly weird things here. And so that just added to the list. I don't know anything about what was going on there. I'm going to assume it's Halloween related. But also could just be two people.
Starting point is 00:29:00 who really truly believe their thing one, and thing two, and that's their vibe. It could also just really been thing one and thing two. You're right. You're right. Yeah, and they're just having a fun time in L.A. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're on vacation. The cat was driving the car, swerving around.
Starting point is 00:29:21 He was like, they're out, they're out. They're out. So that's the most likely situation. man i i don't think i've seen any crazy uh any like crazy stuff like that i've just seen bad drivers but so you know i mean you're in the midwest there's not a lot of love openly crazy well there's crazy there's just not like la crazy that's what i'm saying midwest crazy is a different style of crazy that's like uh be crazy but like keep it in the privacy of your own home okay like don't no one wants to see you're crazy so you can go to someone's house and realize
Starting point is 00:29:59 They're absolutely bonkers when you go in. And I have done that when I lived in the Midwest. I remember, I'm sure I told you this years ago, when I was teaching, I met this girl. I was at a, oh my God, I was at a Chipotle. And this girl walks up to me and she's like, I think you're really cute. Do you want to go out sometime? By the way, this has never happened to me before my entire life. Never has a girl ever approached me and said, I think you're cute.
Starting point is 00:30:27 We should go out. So, of course, I was like, yes, no hesitation. And I went out with her, and it seemed fine. She seemed very nice. And then she's like, do you want to come back to my place? And of course, again, no hesitation was like, yes. I go back to her place. I open the door.
Starting point is 00:30:45 The walls are all pink. She has only Marilyn Monroe merchandise and paintings and pictures all over her walls. every wall the kitchen table is like a giant Marilyn Monroe face dude like just
Starting point is 00:31:04 it was overwhelming like genuinely overwhelming and the entire time I was like I don't all right I'm still horny let's do this let's get this so we end up going to her room
Starting point is 00:31:19 and she's like she's like you know when I get nasty I like to put on music I'm like all right whatever sure yeah okay so I'm like pants are coming up like whatever yeah sure okay she's like she pushes me back on her bed
Starting point is 00:31:36 so there I am dingle dangle out to the world the music kicks in she grabs my dick and sings to it like a microphone I'm like a bird I want to fly away dude
Starting point is 00:31:51 this is a real ass story. I have never in my entire life been so like, what? And some part of me kicked in, the part that's probably a good person. And my initial thought was, oh my God, Jesse, you can't sleep with this person. You have no interest in her at this point. You want out. And if you do sleep with this person, you're going to feel terrible. You'll have used her. You never call her again. Just get out, Jesse. Get out. To say that I fled the scene. an understatement. I was like, no explanation given just like, I can't do this and got out.
Starting point is 00:32:34 That is. I like panicked. I panicked. That's like a scene out of like a, like a shitty, like early 2000s college movie. It felt like it. Like that's straight up like an American pie type of scene. Like that's actually insane. Midwest crazy is everything was normal till we got into that home.
Starting point is 00:32:53 at home and then it was too much. That's Midwest crazy. Yeah, like if she was in L.A., then she would have been exactly the same, but she would have been displaying Marilyn Monroe's stuff much frequently or much more sooner. She would have dressed and looked like Marilyn Monroe, talked like her, and thought and pretended it was like the 1960s. Yeah, exactly. It would have been a step further.
Starting point is 00:33:17 That's the big difference. Biggest difference. Honestly, I feel like, Southern coasts, because I think Florida is the exact same vibe. Florida crazy and L.A. crazy, despite being politically different, are the exact same. Yeah, just one has like people trying to make it in Hollywood and be an actor or whatever, and the other is just people retire there, and it's just insane. The other people who dress up like pirates because it's fun.
Starting point is 00:33:45 It's like, Pirate Paul is going to sit out this hurricane. And he's like, I'll stay on the shores. nobody will take me. Yeah. Same type of crazy, just different vibe. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but then in L.A. it'll be like Pirate Paul and he's just like, I'm gonna be in a movie. All right, true, yo.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Pirate Paul is just a guy who dresses like Johnny Depp on the Hollywood Boulevard outside the Chinese theater and tries to get tourists to take foes with him. Yeah, and then he works at Starbucks two days a week. Right, well, he's got to pay the bills. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's I don't even know how we got here
Starting point is 00:34:24 So that's crazy Midwest I don't even know what the crazy thing was Whatever The moral of the story is People are insane That's I think
Starting point is 00:34:37 I think that's what we learned today People are insane That's the moral The moral of today's episode People are insane Yeah But You know it's not insane
Starting point is 00:34:46 preparing for the holidays early look gang it's holiday season it's sneaking up fast we are a week away from suddenly everything becoming Christmas related you know what's going to happen despite the war on Christmas raging once again it will still be all Christmas all the time
Starting point is 00:35:06 it's about to get crazy here in the States and um why not get the gift buying out of the way sooner rather than later uncommon goods makes holiday shopping stress-free, and a genuinely joyful experience with thousands of one-of-a-kind gifts you can't find anywhere else.
Starting point is 00:35:25 Uncommon goods has something for everyone. From moms to dads to kids to teens, book lovers, history buffs, die-hard sports fans, foodies, mixologists, I'm running out of things, avid gardeners. You will find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else.
Starting point is 00:35:44 These are unique, often handmade, from small independent businesses. Last year, for example, I got a planter for one of the two plants I have in my house. It's super goofy. I love it. It's just a big frog. And he's holding a pot. And it's got, you know, he's like, it's just, he's like, gnaw. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:36:09 His mouth soap is like, gnaw. I got a little hedgehog guy. and I also got a he's like a hedgehog watering cane like faintastic yeah I got a I got it from a totally different seller I got a frog with an open mouth
Starting point is 00:36:24 that looked very similar to it and you can put your phone in it and it amplifies the sound oh yeah that's pretty cool and I was like see no and so they both kind of hang out together on my kitchen counter and I'm like yeah
Starting point is 00:36:34 so if I want to listen to something while I'm cooking whatever I put him in the frog and I can you know it's amplifies the sounds so I can move around my apartment and do stuff love that kind of thing They're all handmade.
Starting point is 00:36:44 You can see underneath the signature of the person who made them. I love that kind of stuff. So when you shop at Uncommon Goods, you support artists, you support indie businesses. I'm totally here for that. Plus, with every purchase you make at Uncomic Goods, they give a dollar to a non-profit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3 million to date. So shop early, have fun, and cross some names off your list today. To get 15% off your next gift, go to Uncommon Goods.
Starting point is 00:37:13 dot com slash cox cox that's uncommon goods dot com slash cox for 15% off don't miss out on this limited time offer uncommon goods they're all out of the ordinary also today we're brought to you by factor i know i know the leaves are falling the weather's cooling and warm clothes are coming out the tempo of the entire world seems to just be changing and that's why i find when it comes to making dinner. Sometimes you just want a quick and healthy meal that you can eat and move on with your day and that's why I love Factor. Their chef prepared
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Starting point is 00:39:16 I was like traffic out there. Let's see here today. Oh, man, it's pretty foggy out there. Um, uh, I can't really see much. Yeah, it's, man, it's way too foggy. We might be flying over fogg town, I think. Is there a place called fog town? Because, uh, we might be there.
Starting point is 00:39:38 You know something's nickname that, for sure. Yeah, there's definitely something nicknamed that. that maybe like a San Francisco area or like the East Coast right, those places get pretty foggy I think. Silent Hill, yeah. Yep, yeah, Silent Hill, there you go. Definitely, um,
Starting point is 00:39:54 man, I thought I was going to go somewhere with this bit. It's really not going anywhere. Back to you. Like most of them. Oh, right. Let's go to Weather. Weather. Boy, is it foggy out there. There it is. Okay, a little bit.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Uh, we've got weather requests for, where's that tab? There we are. Uh, when you go look up Fogtown, I promise you, at least in the United States search, it's mostly weeds shops. Ooh, and Fogtown brewing. So, weed and beer. So there you go. Perfect. Weather request for Bergamo, North Italy. Town famous for giving the biggest portion of volunteers to the expedition of Garibaldi's Thousand, and famous for the tomb of Bartolomeo Colione, whose surname and coat of arms were multiple testicles. What?
Starting point is 00:40:59 Yep. Uh, in Bergamo, Italy. Hold on, I'll let Woppy do this one. People are like, where's Wapi? The Woppy activated 47 degrees, Borgamo, Italy. feels like 46 degrees. Humidity, 51% pressure, 29.8 inches. Visibility, seven miles.
Starting point is 00:41:20 654 a.m. sunrise, 515 p.m. sunset, winds four miles per hour, 2.30. UV index, zero, moon phase, waxing, crescent, 10-day. Be-ma-beep. 61, partly cloudy, Monday, Tuesday, 63, mostly sunny. Wednesday, 59. PM showers, Thursday, 59, showers, Friday, rain, 60, Saturday, 62, mostly cloudy, Sunday, 61, showers, Monday, 62, few showers, Tuesday, 62, shower, chower, chowers. There you go, he works.
Starting point is 00:42:03 All right, lovely to hear from Wampy. Fantastic. However, however, I don't think we need to talk. about the food in this area, it is, in fact, all looking like Italian food. You got delicious looking pizzas and bars and pastas and whatever. We need to go back to this man who has three pairs of human testicles as his coat of arms. The family's coat of arms was two pairs of white testicles on a red field and one pair of red testicles on a white field. What the
Starting point is 00:42:41 What's even funnier Is at some point in the future I assume because The family realized that they didn't have the balls To keep this Coat of Arms going Turn them upside down to become three hearts Oh
Starting point is 00:43:00 Oh yeah I see that That is and I mean this The stupidest thing anyone could do Solid pun They didn't have the ball I get it. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Are you kidding me though? How do you not... Yo, I'd be so honored to have... Like, we gotta sack up, boys, we're going to war! And then we just pull out our shields and we just had testicles on them? Yo, are you kidding me? Honestly, they kind of look like garlic. If you just...
Starting point is 00:43:31 You're not wrong. Kind of squint your eyes. It really does just kind of look like garlic. So apparently... apparently the bar Bartolimio Coleyoni right apparently
Starting point is 00:43:46 although Colioni doesn't translate to balls there was like a slang sounding homophone kind of thing where it's like that's the goof you know like kind of like how C-O-X is close to C-O-C-KS
Starting point is 00:44:06 like that kind of thing And so, yeah, it's three abstractly rendered testicles. And I just, I love that. And their war cry apparently was balls, balls, balls. Dude, come on. How is this not the, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen? You imagine. Just on the battlefield, you're getting ready to fight.
Starting point is 00:44:30 And you're like, balls, balls, balls. Dude, I would be terrified. Yeah. Or just start laughing. Maybe that's their, they try to get you to laugh. Then you start laughing, but then they're actually serious. Like, they'll kill you. Balls, balls, balls.
Starting point is 00:44:46 Yeah, this is, I mean, they've got, they've got buildings that you can go visit that have the balls on. They even have a statue, a giant statue with a coat of arms of the balls on it. Come on now, this is, look, I'm sure there's great food. And usually we're like, wow, look at that sandwich. But this is the best thing from this entire city. Yeah. Don't worry. I've been looking around.
Starting point is 00:45:06 It's definitely just a lot of Italian food Like your classic stuff Although there is a Burger King with a 4.1 But it's Burger King That might be the highest rated Burger King In the world It really might Yeah
Starting point is 00:45:22 Yeah Like otherwise just looking around You know Like it looks good But man That's definitely I wonder Yeah
Starting point is 00:45:31 They're what a unique feature I guess you could say Yes Yeah. Yeah. I don't, uh, man. I'm jealous. I want to not only go see the ball statue and the ball building and get a coat of arms t-shirt with the balls on it, but I want to go eat next to the ball place. Like, I want to have a full triple ball experience. Let us know where it is otherwise. Yes, please. Please do. And that's the weather. All right, let's go to sports. Sports. Sports. It's sports time. Yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Yes, yes. Sports. Let's see. For sports, we've got sports. We had the Chargers beat the Vikings Thursday night in football. Colts beat the Titans. Broncos beat the Cowboys. Buccaneers beat the Saints.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Texans beat the 49ers. Ravens beat the Bears, the Bills. Killed the Panthers, 40 to 9. Mamma Mia. Eagles, 3820 over the Giants. Patriots beat the Browns. Jets got their first win beating the Bengals. The Dolphins beat the Falcons. And currently, it is the second quarter where the Packers are beating the Steelers 7 to 6, but there's a lot for time. So you never know. Then we've got hockey. Hockey standings currently. We've got the Montreal, Canadian. with 14 points.
Starting point is 00:47:07 First place in the Atlantic Division. New Jersey Devils 8-1-0, 16 points. Mama-Mea. Utah Mammoth, 8-2-0 at 16 points. Dude, the Mammoth are first place. Go Mammoth. Then Golden Knights, 13 points atop the Pacific Division with the Crackin, a point behind them.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Although, let's be very clear, the Mammoths in Stadium mascot. Not cool. It's just a man with a mammoth face. That sucks. Yeah. Should have got to be. a giant ass snuffi olfagus in there.
Starting point is 00:47:38 They really should have. That's what I was expecting. They can do better. And then in the World Series, it's tied one to one. So it's become a best of five, essentially. So Blue Jays blew him out, game one. Dodgers beat the Blue Jays 5 to 1 the next game. So we will see. It should be good.
Starting point is 00:48:00 And then the NBA has also started. We got all the sports. Currently, the Spurs. and the Thunder both 3 and O we've also got the Bulls and the 76ers at 2 and O and then the Warriors Grizzlies Hornets, Heat
Starting point is 00:48:16 Knicks, Cavaliers, Bucks and Pistons are 2 and 1 And then that's Sports Okay What is our Big Fact of the Day? Big fact of the day
Starting point is 00:48:34 Actually this is usually just a random thing It's never a big fact. So. Never a big fact. Never a big fact. Uh, on most maps. Wait, most maps of the world are wrong. Well, um,
Starting point is 00:48:54 I believe that for some cases, but I'm waiting for you to give me the explanation because technically, yes, technically. Uh, On most maps, the Med Mercator projection, first developed in 1569, is still used. This method is wildly inaccurate and makes Alaska appear larger or as large as Brazil and Greenland 14 times larger than it actually is. For a map to be completely accurate, it would need to be life-sized and round and not flat. That's why a lot of modern maps are sort of like two hemispheres rather than one big rectangle map.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Because, yeah, everything at the north and south pole, or the closer you get to the north and south pole on all rectangle maps is just warped. And so everything seems much bigger than it actually is. And the closer you get to the equator, the smaller everything appears. So that's why people will do those YouTube videos that get so many views where they take like the actual size of things and put them and overlay them on top of each other. And everyone's like, whoa, I didn't know that. Yeah. That is pretty cool, though. I always thought that was weird, too, because, like, I'd always be like, man, Alaska's gigantic.
Starting point is 00:50:13 It's also the same reason why dudes get weird theories about Antarctica. Like, if you look on one of the projection maps, Antarctica looks massive, which, you know, it's big and all, but it's not this giant wall of ice that is on maps. Oh, yeah. They're hiding something from us. Yeah, which like again, like if there was an ice wall and like secret government stuff, like the the rich people would be fighting behind the scenes. They'd be like, I want control of the ice wall. Like they would be fighting over the ice wall. Like they wouldn't be getting along. Like no, no doubter in my mind. Like other countries would be like, we're taking the ice wall. Like that's how you know there's no ice wall. So all I'm saying is education needs to improve. Yeah, that probably would be pretty good. And just people and that go on the internet as much. Yes.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Or to just not believe the internet as much. It's the more important one. That's your fact of the day. Who's come to us with tears in their eyes? We've got tears. Do do do do do do do do do do. All right, here we go. There's nothing as funny as we've got tears.
Starting point is 00:51:33 The happiest sad boys. All right, let's see. First up, we have landed on Dear Lusory Seres with tears in my eyes and a Cox and Crendor tattoo on my bicep, I ask you. Hell yeah. Could you please make a gym routine for me? I'm a regular at the gym,
Starting point is 00:51:52 but I would love to have a go at anything that you can concoct for me. Jesse's in charge of cardio, Crenor in charge of weights. Okay, all right. Step one. Before you go to the gym, you need to fuel up. Some need you to drink one of those like creatine shakes and eat two toaster strudels.
Starting point is 00:52:17 How many milligrams of creatine? I don't know, like 100. All right, great. Is that normal? That's a lot, but there's probably people who do it. Yeah, well, because you're going to need it because it's going to be a workout. I just need a workout. And then need the sugar from the toaster strudels to keep you going, right?
Starting point is 00:52:34 It's going to also really work your kidneys to a state. Yeah, yeah, well, I mean, you got it. That's the whole point. It's working you inside and out, right? Yeah, exactly. All right, then, step two, when you get to the gym, you want to, you're not, you don't want to drive. You want to run to the gym. Right.
Starting point is 00:52:51 All right, so you put your workout gear on and you run to the gym. Then when you get to the gym, you're all sweaty, you're ready to go. You're worked up. You're good. You're good, right? So you go in the gym, people are like, did you work out before you came here? And you're going to look at them and you're going to say, yep did you and then you're going to you know sneer at them a little then find uh anyone
Starting point is 00:53:11 working out at a like an elliptical or a treadmill or the stairs or whatever get right next to them don't give them any room get right next to them established dominance you if they're going at a speed at like let's say they're going at like a five speed you're going seven you'll have so much creatine in your system it'll be fine yeah the creature will keep you going right plus you like you got yourself worked up
Starting point is 00:53:41 getting ready to get there by running to the gym so you're good and you establish dominance over them and you go faster than they are going so other people when they see the two of you together you look better that's just the rules yeah
Starting point is 00:53:54 then when you're done with that and you're collapsing because your legs hurt then Crenor can take over Yeah, perfect. Now, here's the thing. I would just put you through numerous physical therapy exercises. So everyone wants you to work the main stuff, but we're going to work the small muscle groups, all right? So we're going to do like tendon exercises, all right? You take like a couple pound weight, you just hold it out there, 30 seconds to a minute. Then you like twist your arm, hold it out, right? Just holding that weight out there in various positions.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Okay, then we'll do some of those like wrist exercises where you curl it up a bit and then curl it down. We need to strengthen the wrists and the tendons We'll do like isometric holds A lot of planks All right It's going to be all about isometric holds That would be my thing
Starting point is 00:54:43 Is everyone's going to be like At this point the creatine's kicking in Oh yeah You're like your body wants more But you're just going to do little micro movements Yeah But that's what we're doing We're bulking those small muscles
Starting point is 00:54:56 Yeah And that's what it's all about so I mean that that'll keep you healthy for at least of 50 to 100 years and you want to moan loudly when you do it too yeah that's so everyone in the gym knows that you're the dominant one yeah yeah if you're not doing that that's that's the that's the proper form if you're not screaming and moaning loudly it's if you're not like really causing a scene then are you working out yeah you're not and if someone has to think can be a
Starting point is 00:55:28 spotter, say yes. Yeah, and then after all that, drink another 100 milligram creatine shake. Yeah, and then, like, you know, go home and yell at someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Next up, we've got,
Starting point is 00:55:45 you're welcome for the advice. All right, well, we landed on the same one. We're not going to answer that again. And, dear illustrious sirs, I come before you with tears in my eyes, and no tears in my shampoo with a query. If you had the chance to revive Coxcon, but it had to be in Canada,
Starting point is 00:56:06 where would each of you pick for its future location? Would you go with a big city like Toronto, Montreal, or smaller ones like Halifax or Saskatoon? Obviously, we could end up at, like, climax, which is in Saskatchewan, or Spusim, which is in British Columbia but we saw a city
Starting point is 00:56:31 and I don't know if it was like Dildo or yeah I was like way up north and I remember that laughing at the name and being like that's an awesome name and now like Moose Jaw or something yeah that's where we'd have to have it in a small we have to be the biggest thing in that small town yeah
Starting point is 00:56:50 that's I'm trying to find it I'm looking around it's got to be around here Peace Point A Camp Who punky doodles corner That's pretty good That's a good one But punky doodles corner
Starting point is 00:57:05 It looks like it has exactly one house Which I don't think we could have a con there Yeah probably not Probably not There's got to be Flynn flan There's Flynn flan There's
Starting point is 00:57:19 Let's be very clear while I probably want to have it in either Toronto or Vancouver because of where Canada is it's gonna we're gonna it's gonna be like Winnipeg yeah probably oh you know you could have it in God's Lake God's you know what my ego can only be so big welcome to my lake everyone yeah I don't know they got God's Lake God's River. It would, we'd probably end up doing in Winnipeg.
Starting point is 00:57:56 It's small enough and it's close to the middle of the country. Yeah. I mean, if you go west of Winnipeg, there's Musoman. Musumann. That's a fun one. Musumann. They called me Musaemen. Yeah, so there you go.
Starting point is 00:58:13 We'd probably just pick a place like that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, look, I love. Toronto. I've never been to Vancouver, but I could go to Vancouver. I could do that. Yeah. And that's the near illustrious sirs. Okay. What is our big news story of the day? It is the big news story of the day. Day. Day. Day. Day. So my normal weird news, I couldn't find one. But then I found
Starting point is 00:58:46 I found one with my own research. I also just wanted to mention this one. I was like well maybe we'll see if Cosmo has anything just because you know You gotta check every once in a while I get it Yeah every once in a while we've always checked Cosmo I read one story
Starting point is 00:59:02 And that was it It said what happens if you fall in love With your therapist like nobody wants This Morgan according to a therapist What Yep And I was like, all right, well, that's enough Cosmo for today. Wait, what, what, what, so the whole thing is like, what if you just, that's the Cosmo article?
Starting point is 00:59:25 Like, what if you fall in love with a therapist? Don't act on it. The end. Yeah. I was just like, it's not that hard. Like, skimming down, it just says, is it ever okay for a therapist to date their client? Simply no. Well, right.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Obviously. There you go. Glad we had an entire article on that one. Yeah. Yeah, it seems like a weird thing for Cosmo unless, you know, that's the thing people write to Cosmo about often. Like, you know, I was in therapy sitting here reading a Cosmo and I thought to myself, I should ask, is it okay for me to sleep with my therapist? Yeah, like it's, that's some crazy shit. So anyway, I've had a better story.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Okay. A humongous pumpkin boat race features costumes, captains, and world record breaking sailor. Okay, go on. Is this in Florida? Uh, I don't think so. Give them pumpkin to talk about. Yikes. Let's give them something to talk about.
Starting point is 01:00:28 The Bonnie Raid song from the 90s and they're going to break out, give them pumpkin. Yeah, it's pretty bad. You know, who wrote this? Who wrote this? My aunt? Who did it? What the? Brooke Steinberg, who is, uh, let's see.
Starting point is 01:00:48 Brooke covers everything from bizarre food trends to K-9 Couture since joining the post. In 2019, she's written about a whole bunch of stuff. She's been making her rounds on talk shows. Her articles have been referenced on Tonight Show of Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Colbert, Drew Barrymore show. wait reference what does that even mean you know when they're like don't hear about this that kind of stuff
Starting point is 01:01:16 oh I see so they're just like you see the pumpkin boat race like that type of thing yes yes so it's not even like they're like oh a great article from Brooke Steinberg they're just like oh she wrote about this thing we'll like reference yeah yes yes yeah like I can do that
Starting point is 01:01:32 I mean we're doing it right now yeah we're doing it right now as featured on the Cox and Grandor show I hope Gords and ghouls gathered in Toa Latin Oregon For the 21st annual West Coast giant pumpkin regatta To watch competitors turn huge pumpkins
Starting point is 01:01:50 In the hollowed outfloating boats This really is like a Dodger thing So it kind of checks out Yeah This event has drawn large crowds To the Portland suburbs since 2004 To get the humongous pumpkins Into the small human made lakes
Starting point is 01:02:07 some of which weighed over 1,000 pounds. Organizers used forklifts to carefully lower them into the water before the racers carved out the insides using wielding saws and knives to turn it into a vessel. You know, it's just, it reminds me of the Food Network show. Speaking of Food Network from earlier, where they like carve out pumpkin, you ever see that? Yeah, yeah, those are fun.
Starting point is 01:02:33 I'm not a big fan of the holiday shows because they're just kind of like, we're gonna make goofy cakes like you couldn't even eat that cake yeah it's like I was watching 90% fondant what the I was watching the pumpkin one
Starting point is 01:02:45 they're just like making scenes out of a pumpkin carving then they're just like we'll have a ghoul and a goblin and they'll be like playing a game of poker like just like random shit and then it's like oh that's pretty cool but like okay
Starting point is 01:02:59 I don't know but it's kind of fun to watch just because I don't know look the best the best version version of that is the Saturday Night Live version where they have like Eddie Murphy on and they do that, you know, Halloween or Christmas baking competition thing. Those are the funniest versions of that. It's one of my favorite lines. Why, his green penis, of course. That's one of my favorite lines of dialogue ever. It's from one of those bits. It's just good stuff. Look it up. Eddie Murphy cooking challenge or whatever. Very funny. the more insides removed the lighter the pumpkin and the easier it is to race when all the carving was done there was enough discard seeds and pulp to fill a dumpster competitors dressed into Halloween costumes
Starting point is 01:03:45 as they raced around the lake to loud cheers from the hundreds of onlookers Gary Christensen dressed as Will Ferrell's buddy from the Christmas movie Elf won the first race celebrating by raising his kayak paddle in the air from his large pumpkin boat you got an exciting activity that crowds love. You got costumes. You got cheering people, spectacle pumpkins sinking. It's got everything. Christensen said.
Starting point is 01:04:15 We also have... It's got everything. We also have a Shrek in a pumpkin, as you can see there. Yep. Yep. Honestly, I'm impressed. That is a... That is a, like, just the activity of going down a river and a gourd.
Starting point is 01:04:38 It's impressive. It is pretty impressive. Christensen competed in the regatta since 2013 and partakes in pumpkin boating more than just at the annual event. It's kind of an addiction at this point, he said. This dude's addicted to pumpkin boat racing. I can't stop carving them out and get inside and then throwing him in the water back in May he got the Guinness World record
Starting point is 01:05:06 for the longest journey by pumpkin boat after padding just paddling just over 58 miles breaking his own record he set the previous year the regatta has also become a passion project for Brad Bonds this year his fourth regatta he dressed up as a character from Squid Game Bonds grew
Starting point is 01:05:25 why we're a few years late on that one Yeah, remember when Squid game where they were all They all got in the pumpkins Dude, that was crazy And then they shot everyone Yep, that was One of my favorites
Starting point is 01:05:38 Bonds grew Is 1,376 pumpkin On his own Which took him six months total Wait, Bonds grew So he Yeah, he grew his pumpkin
Starting point is 01:05:53 Was he saying This is his like 1,300th pumpkin or like this is his way I don't even know what that means it took him six months totally he said the fun of doing it on his own is getting to culminate the season
Starting point is 01:06:07 by putting it in the lake and paddling with our friends Christensen said there's a simple formula to grow a massive pumpkin good seeds, good soil, good luck, hard work that's like the type of shit
Starting point is 01:06:20 they hang on their wall I was about to say that sounds like something like a 1950s guy and a horse would tell someone Good siege, good soil, good luck, and hard work, I'll get you anywhere. Thank you, Mr. President. He's like, yawn, rides off.
Starting point is 01:06:35 In a pumpkin. Yeah, right, of course. He kayaks down the river. Wow. The regatta, supported by Pacific Giant Vegetable Growers Association, which cultivates massive pumpkins throughout the year, has become a seasonal tradition in Oregon that makes the start of fall activities. I thought I was going to say
Starting point is 01:06:57 like fun that just says this makes the start that's it period we never said they were fun we also got one comment on this article that said I want to see giant zucchini whitewater racing that person is a listener of this show
Starting point is 01:07:13 yeah 100% yeah no doubt in my mind that person is a fan that would be pretty intense just white water rafting because you know at some point the zucchini and or pumpkin and or gourd would hit a rock and explode and that would be amazing to watch. Yeah, there'd probably be like actual deaths in the, like it would be intense.
Starting point is 01:07:36 Well, when, you know, we hit the future of the running man and or other, you know, post-apocalyptic hellscapes. Let's do it. Yeah. I agree. Why not? That and monster slash robot football. Let's go. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:52 This is now we're making the future. This is what we've been waiting for. And that's the big new story of the day. All right. Well, that's it for us. Thanks so much for listening and watching. I've joined this podcast. Crendor, head on to the socials.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Boy, howdy. We've got socials. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. Leave your weather request. Leave your dear illustrious sir request. Leave your comments. And subscribe. Hit the bell.
Starting point is 01:08:19 All that stuff. Also, you can listen on Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud. Also, you can find us on. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor, where you can see the animations. We've actually had plenty of people find us just from the animations, which I always think it's kind of fun. Yep. Also, you can find us on our own things.
Starting point is 01:08:36 YouTube, Jesse Cox, YouTube Crenor, Twitch, Jets, Twitch, Crenor, Twitter, Crenor, Twitter, Crenor. Blue Sky, Jek, Sky, Crenor, Tick, Tick, Tick, Trenc, Cren, D. YouTube, Cresclips, YouTube, Crenclips, YouTube, I don't know. There's more. Just go look it up. All right. That's it. We'll see y'all next time. And as always, shake the rhino to be continued.

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