Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 501 - Sharks Are On Drugs Now

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

The boys are back and this time Jesse has another terrible day driving in LA and gets so mad he does research into if people are actually worse at driving now. Meanwhile Crendor is obsessed with the Amazing Digital Circus. But nothing can prepare you for sharks in the Bahama's getting access to drugs. This year just keeps getting worse. Go to http://heroforge.com and use code CRENDOR to get 5% off

Today's episode's brought to by HeroForge. HeroForge has got those awesome custom minis ready for you to craft in your mind's eye and then bring to life. Now let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Cosent Red Dog. In front of all. This is it, Trendon in the morning. In the morning. Live, live, live, live, live, live.

In 4 hour and 40s studio, recording. Recorded. Witte me wake your ass up! It's up, Krenner, in the morning. Hello, everybody, one excited. I'm going to Sotomay and Krendor in the morning. Woo.

There's the excitement everyone knows and loves. There it is. They all know and love it. Yep. They've always said that every time anyone ever meets me. Like, man, so much excitement. What was the other thing you said? I've already forgotten.

I think we've discussed this. I say things on these shows and then we'll immediately forget them. Yeah, but that's like impressive. That was like a five second goldfish. That actually might have been worse than the goldfish. Yeah, well, you got to be a goldfish. Otherwise, I'd be thinking about all the things I just said, and I wouldn't be thinking ahead for the rest of the show.

You know, that's true. You always got to be thinking ahead. I think that's where your strengths are. Yeah, that's all I got, really. I don't have a look back at the past mentality. probably should. That probably would help me with many things. But I'm like, nope, forge ahead. Let's go. We got to keep going. Yeah. I mean, listen, we hit 500. Now we're on to 1,000. You're looking ahead to that 1,000. Yeah, I'm looking ahead for another 13 years. Exactly. Who not? I can't even imagine what the show would be then.

Oh, my God. Dude, maybe at some point, maybe like four years down the line where someone's going to like pick us up on a big major news station and be like, these guys, are just great at talking about nothing and forgetting what they talked about. And everybody's going to start listening and then we'll get so massive. Yeah. Propaganda mouthpieces for the state is I feel like what we can. They don't talk about anything. Perfect. Use them.

We'll get on there and make people forget about the, the water wars. The water wars. Uh, well, yeah, they'll be like, water, who needs it? I only drink Gatorade. You know what I mean? Isn't that, uh, idiot. That's no, that's Brondo. Oh, yeah, that's right.

It has the electrolytes plants crave, bro. Honestly, propaganda mouthpieces for the state sounds like a 90s album or something. It really does. It sounds like a rage against the machine album or something. Yeah. Speaking of raging against the machine. Yes. You said you've been raging against something.

Yo, dude, you're actually quite correct. That's really funny. So the only reason why this came up in my mind this week is that last week we talked about it. In fact, we talked about it plenty of times is the idea of like drivers getting worse since the pandemic. Yep. And so today I'm out driving around. I went out and got a very lovely breakfast, but way on the other side of this damn city, which I always reminded why. I do it maybe once every two months.

I just, I hate going to the other side of this city because coming back is the biggest pain in the ass. So coming back, and everyone around me is driving in ways that defy logic. Like just, you know, the same feeling as when you're in the grocery store and someone's standing in an aisle and they're oblivious to you and you're like, just please notice that I'm here so that I can get past you.

Exact same vibe, but with cars, is what today was. And I was like, how on earth are drivers this bad? And then I remembered our conversation. So I went online and I was like, screw it, I'm going to look this up. Factually, there must be evidence. And so I did. I got so upset. I did homework.

I went on the internet and started like deep diving. I was looking at newspaper articles, studies. I went on a few Reddit posts where people were like, question. And so I essentially have formulated the complete reasoning behind why everyone thinks drivers are getting bad. And the answer might be shocking to you, but they are in fact getting bad. And it is basically a perfect storm of terrible driving. So yes, drivers are worse post-pandemic. There is terrible driving going all around.

The perfect storm of it is that there's just so much involvement. It isn't just like one thing is why it's bad. It's because all these things came together and it just kind of sucks now. So one example is during COVID, a lot of people who would have gotten licenses didn't. They simply didn't get a license during that three, four year period. And so what happened is when COVID restrictions were lifted, everyone who didn't have a license went to go get license. So all at once post-COVID, we had a bunch of new drivers on the road. like right away.

And to make matters worse, many of those people, and especially people who during COVID still got a license, apparently states, not all the states, but some states, what they would do is they would get rid of the road test portion where you have to like get in a car with the person and drive because of COVID stuff where they were afraid to be, you know, you weren't six feet apart. So they would, as long as a guardian or parent said you knew how to drive well

signed a thing, you were fine. So you didn't even have to take the thing proving to someone you could drive. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. Right? That's one thing. Then add on the fact that it's now 2026 and there are more phones

and screens and crazy shit going on in cars, streamers. There are so many different things distracting people while they're driving now. And there simply weren't before. Plus, then add the fact that cars are now. faster and more powerful than ever before, which gives people more speed, thus the reason why people

are breaking more because a lot of people are just not ready for prime time when it comes to navigating a giant powerful car. That is very true. Honestly, the amount of just giant cars and just like the electric cars that go from like zero to 60 in like two seconds. Yes. And you don't feel it like in a gas car. And this certainly isn't a plug for, you know, gas, especially right now.

But in gas cars, many of them you can feel the like rev-up increase. With electric cars, you just zoom, which I love. But, yeah, many people just simply can't handle that. Then, aggression has gone up on the road because drivers, all the things we previously mentioned, but because drivers are getting more angry with bad drivers, they're getting more angry with all drivers. And then it like ping pongs back and forth. So more and more people are just angry on the road.

then we have a significantly higher population than we've ever had before. And that's in most places around the world, but especially here in America. And the boomers who are getting older and older and older but are still a sizable portion of the population, they are not giving up driving as much as the generations before them did. Mostly because of the infrastructure, which I guess we can get into. But like, they need to drive. in order to do many things in the United States you have to drive around. And because they're

stubborn as hell, they're not going to be like, well, I guess I'll take an Uber or a lift or a cab or a waymo or walk or whatever. They're like, I want my independence, like that kind of stuff. So they got a whole mental thing where you now have a much older drivers who 100% shouldn't not be on the road, who are still on the road. Then due to policing changes,

cops in most major cities and most high traffic areas now aren't really traffic enforcing. They're kind of allowing people to get away with little minor infractions because they're focusing on other things, right? And so what's happening is that people who are getting away with little minor infractions

think they can kind of get away with anything. And so they are. They're just driving however they want. Again, I don't want to harp on streamers, but like, how on earth are the same people filming themselves over and over and over again in a car and nothing's happening except them crashing? It's crazy.

Then infrastructure again, the roads are a mess. Streets are crumbling, bridges suck, but also just design choices in cities. Like getting, I know a lot of Americans will probably sympathize with this if you live in the suburbs. Getting out of your community onto a main road is a giant pain in the ass. You're winding around things, you're going all over the place. There's like side streets and back streets, but none of them really connected any logical way because everyone wants to. their private property and their Pete, like, I don't want to be on a main street. And so everything's kind of, it's just a giant pain in the ass.

And then to have all of those side streets where people just drive like crazy, if you interact with them, you're going to get upset because like just either drive or you're driving too fast. No one's ever happy. And then, uh, I think this is almost as crazy as the AI problem. Cars are safer now than they've ever been before with cameras and info screens and, and like different ways to save your life. And so drivers in essence are getting more lazy about driving their cars

and learning how to like understand their vehicle. So what ends up happening is they rely on the car to do most of the work and so they don't feel like they need to. And it leads to all I'm saying is there's so many reasons. I think I forgot a few that basically yes, 100% drivers on the road right now are worse than they've ever been. Yeah. No, I mean it does make.

sense because I think the thing is people realize it. It's just people aren't figuring out why it's happening or maybe they're just like, oh, it's because of the phones or it's just like a few reasons here and there. But it's actually just a lot of things compiled together. Yeah, it's like a complete, insane, perfect storm of a ton of different reasons coming together that all sort of compound on each other. And that's why it isn't just like, oh, I live in this one area, Or, oh, I have to deal with, you know, these bad drivers in L.A. It's like a universal thing. It's so many people across the country.

I will say across the world, I don't know, have this issue. And it's because it's like noticeable. And the reason it's noticeable is because it's not just one thing. It's so many things that it all sort of coagulates together into just shit drivers. A lot of curiosity. What? What specifically occurred on the road today that put you in this mindset? There was this white car in front of me as I'm coming back from the Hollywood area.

We're at a light, right? And the light is the right-hand lane is turn right only. There's a middle lane. There's two middle lanes, and then there's a left-hand lane that's turned left only. So I am in the right-hand straight lane. I'm not trying to turn. So I'm in like the second to right lane. And this white car is in front of me.

Well, this white car, you know, the car is turning to the right. There's traffic there. So the right hand turns a little bit blocked. Well, the car in front of me that's in the, we should be driving straight lane, is trying to turn right. But can't because there's nowhere to go and is out in the middle of the lane. I'm behind them halfway in the middle of the lane as the lights in front of us are, you know, turning from green to yellow to red. And it's one of those things where it's so obvious like, dude, you're holding everyone else up behind you because you desperately want to turn right. You've clearly screwed this up, so just drive straight and hit the next right.

Like, it's not that hard. Just you didn't plan on this. So drive straight. You're holding everyone. I got cars honking behind me. I can't do anything. I'm about to get trapped in the intersection with this guy because he simply cannot navigate how to get around this moment. And the cars turning right are not moving at all.

He can't get in that lane. And it goes from green to yellow. And I'm like, oh, my God. Now, normally I just be like, all right, go around him. It's chill. Just go around him in the left-hand lane and you'll be fine. Except there were so many cars doing that behind me that I couldn't. Right?

Because they were getting fed up with waiting. So they're driving around. So I'm stuck here just like, brother, what do you do? So then he finally. As it turns red, decides, oh, I'm going to drive straight. I'm like, cool. I'm glad we came to that conclusion. So he starts to drive straight.

And I follow him. So now I'm stuck behind this guy. And he proceeds to not, you know how it's like, if you can't get a turn on a street, you go to the next street and you turn, right? He is looking at every single driveway entrance. Like, every time there's a possible right to turn, he slams on the brakes and looks I can see him look to see if he can get into that driveway

or into that you know parking lot area to then go back to the street that he wanted to go down so he is just slamming on his brakes repeatedly every time and at this point I'm almost taking it personally like this guy's got a thing out for me you might be one of the worst drivers I've ever seen my dude and uh you know it was just ridiculous driving To the point where I was like, this guy sucks.

This guy should not be on the road. This guy's terrible driving. That's what set me off. And I was like, I got to, I started thinking about the podcast. I was like, it's true. They are bad. And then I was like, but why though? So then I just went and looked it up.

I was trying to think because there was somebody, I don't think it was yesterday. Some point this week, there's a driver where they do the thing where they'd go really fast and then they would just like break. And then they would like go slow. and then they'd go fast again. And I was like convinced they were on their phone

and then when I was like going past him it was just like some old guy like looking ahead. And I was like, what? Like I was just like I was more flabbergasted that he wasn't on his phone. If it would have been someone on their phone

I've been like, yeah, they're on their phone but it's just some guy like looking ahead. I'm like, is this guy okay? Like what? I think it goes back to the power issue of cars. Was it a newer car? I don't know just like a normal

like Honda or some shit Yeah but I mean like It's it's from the last 10 or 15 years Not like it's like a 1990s Like yeah cars are just more powerful And people aren't used to that power And so I can understand why he would zoom Ahead really fast and slowdown

And zoom ahead and break Because he's just This is how I used to do it Yes yeah Stop doing it the way I know One of the things I've notice is that I remember one of my very first cars was you would have to put your foot down all the way to the floor to get that damn thing to hit 60. Like you really had to put the pedal to the

floor to drive that thing on the highway. Now my current car, if I just lightly press, I'm going fast. Yeah. I have rarely put my foot all the way down to the floor in my car. Yeah, no. And that's only when I was like driving to Vegas and there was nothing around. And there's no speed limit. And it's like, just go. And I'm like, let's see what we can do. And I try it. But other than that, I'm, I am barely pressing the pedal and it goes. And I think that's the difference. A lot of people are used to the way cars used to be where it's like, pedal to the metal baby, let's go. And that's not a thing right now. No, I was thinking that too. Not even that long ago. I remember my first car, which was like 2008. And I think the car was from like the early like 2000s, like 2004. And that thing, you had to like push all the way to the floor to get it. The like you can super go like at a fast pace.

Yeah. So and now it's way better. Yeah. It is. It's kind of crazy. You think about it. Yeah. And I mean, and you're not rocking a sports car.

You have like a sensible car. And that's just that's how it is now. All cars have that kind of like get up and go thing going on. on in them, at least here in the States. I'm sure in other places that's different, but like here, it's all about power, baby. Yep. And giant cars. Like, I feel like the people here are like, if my car isn't, like, big enough, I'm going to get destroyed out in the road or something. They're like, my car has to be able to run people over. Yes. Yeah. Because like everyone's driving these massive ass, like, like SUVs used to be the biggest car. Now we have like super SUVs. Like the

Shit's like, you can fit a whole family in there and they can like have food and watch a movie inside and you can like run over literally anybody. It is crazy how big our cars are. I understand the American dream of like, I got our, well, you know what it is? I think it's because I was about to say I got our minivan, but I think at some point in the early 2000s, everyone was like minivans are not cool and never have been. And so parents were like, I want to drive a cool car. And so they just advertise giant things that should be vans, but are just big cars. Yeah. And it's, I think the minivan also became like a like a mom car or something.

Like that's the car's moms drive with their kids. Yeah, yeah. And you don't want to be that if you're a guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. But then even then the moms were like, well, I don't want to be like a mom. But so now they started getting like the. Big assalades and shit.

And you're just driving a tank around there. Yeah, plus there's the image thing of when you see an escalade or you see like a bigger car that has the same vibe as like, the rap stars drive around this with their entourage. And so that's a vibe that people like. And so they'll buy those cars. So if you're like a stay at home mom with your kids and take them to soccer practice, I can be a ball or too. I still think you can do that in a smaller car. Oh, agreed.

For sure, yes. Maybe they also think they're safer because they're bigger? Yeah, I mean, like you were saying, if you can smash other cars, you're not the car getting smashed. Yeah. But at this point, it's like if you're driving these big ass cars,

then people don't know how to drive. So it's like you're putting everybody in danger. And it becomes like, it's even crazy because there's going to be somebody driving this big. big ass car barely fits on the road and it starts like swerving a little bit into the other lane and then he calls an accident like i said kind of a perfect storm of all these terrible things on the road and so yeah that's just that's where i was mentally today i was so upset i did homework that's how you know you've truly uh infiltrated the jesse cox uh mine pylos

yeah yeah yeah yeah take time out of his busy schedule to look up why things are so bad. I needed my answers. I was like, this can't just be a thing that exists only in my life. It has to be, yeah, and I was right, it was, everyone's kind of experiencing it. Yeah.

I was curious. Yeah. Because I was like, well, are the big cars or the little cars getting more like accidents or like death rates? Apparently the highest rates of driver deaths is the Ford Fiesta, which I think makes

sense because this is kind of like a tiny car. Yes. All right. The Ford. Yeah. I was like, what is a Ford Fiesta? Yes. Yeah. There's also the Hyundai accent and the Chevrolet Sonic, which also looked like kind of smaller cars.

Pretty much any of those like tiny looking cars. There's got to be some sort of intersection between like the cost of a car, the parts invested. You know what I mean? Like it isn't designed to save your life. Does that make sense? Yeah. Well, it's probably like cheaper.

They're using less materials and they're just like smaller. So like it's probably they're thinking about like convenience of price and just like getting a cheap car, low mileage, like all this stuff. But in return, you get a car where if you get hit by a mega car at this point, you're just like dead. Yeah, yeah. It's so weird that there's articles online. they're like, why the Hyundai accent stopped being made in 2023? And I'm like, okay, maybe we'll

get answers. And no, it just literally goes through all the different generations and what changes were made. And then it's like, they won't make them anymore. Cool, man. Awesome. Good article. Yeah, that's, you would think let's see.

Let's see, what are the safest cars then? Kia telluride, which is just a big-eyes-ass car. Yep. The Honda CRV. The Genesis GV-70. Let's see.

The Genesis The safest hybrid is the Honda Accord. The Accord always You know what? I can't even ever complain about an accord. I had an accord for a few years in college. Can't complain. Yeah.

A car was falling apart, but can't complain. It's, uh, like there's a reason some brands like Toyota and Honda and shit are always more expensive. And it's like they don't break down and they're safer. It's just, it is what it is. Man, there's, I'm trying to look. I've never heard of a Genesis car before. Yeah, I haven't either. And I guess that's a, the Genesis GV60.

Is it, it's a, it's a new. type of electric car? Who makes Genesis? I don't know. I just think a Sega. That's what I'm saying. But apparently it has got like incredible ratings. I didn't even know this car existed. Yeah, I didn't know either. Genesis luxury SUVs.

Luxury. What? I've never heard of this before. They out, you know what? Bless them. They out here with their electric car. You know what? I like other electric car options. I'll leave it at that. Yeah, look at that. Wow. Well, we learned a lot about cars today. We really did. We really did. You know, you know what?

Speaking of learning about stuff, shout out to Candid Al, 1947 over on Reddit, for doing a Cox and Crendor episode 500 quote quiz. Oh my goodness. There is, it's quotes from episode 401 to 499. And it's a brand new quiz, Crendor. Oh, boy, let's go. It's fitting that we're doing this on episode 501 and not 500. Is this you or me?

In Boston, they're like, get out of the way, you big piece of shit. I'll run you over and kill your dog. And I'm like, all right. I know where this guy's coming from. That's you. 100% me. Yep. I want to make my broccoli pop.

That, oh man. I'm gonna go you. It was in fact me. I did want to make my broccoli pop. I want to make it pop, baby. That's what I was thinking. I was like, I don't think I'd ever want to make my broccoli pop. Sorry, I got distracted by Uncle Monkey.

That's got to be me. It was in fact me. Oh. You know what? That could have been either one. It really could have. I would bet money that at least one person

after finishing their wine put their dick in this like 100%. Uh, this sounds like it'd be you, so I'm going to say me. It was, in fact, you. All right, there we go.

I have no idea what the context was, but, you know, yes, 100%. I don't even know the context. What the hell? How dare you use science on this program. I think that's me.

It was in fact me. I think I'm the one who uses how dare you more often. How dare you? You do say how dare you quite a bit. I don't give a damn what you believe. Make good pizza. That's got to be me.

It's a Jesse. Oh my God. What the heck? They got a horse ambulance? That's me. It is. I can even, I don't even remember saying it, but I can remember being like, they got a horse, say? Here's another one.

It's not the horse's fault, you're stupid. That's me. That's a Jesse. Whoa, all right. We must have been on some sort of horse thing that day. Yeah, it must have been a horse thing. Oh, my God. Every time we have a fun story, someone gets euthanized.

Um, that's, uh, it's you. Nope, it's you. Damn. My God. It is true, though. He has the last Bible. It's all up here. I don't even, what the hell?

I don't even know what this is context for. He has the last Bible. It's all up here. I'll let's say me. it's me I don't remember what we're talking about like the book of Eli I don't know I don't know I don't know

oh my god I don't know which I feel like we must have had a secret guest on because this doesn't seem like anything we'd say attack on Titan is less of an anime and more of a parable what how is that anything either of us said

yeah what the that's got to be you it is But I don't remember that at all. Although I don't remember what I said at the beginning of this episode. Yeah, that's true. Whatever. See, we are good at this.

We should be going into drug selling. That's probably me. It was, in fact, me. Oh. It might be insane, but at least we'll be insane together. That's probably you. It is. It is me.

You know, sometimes I read a quote of a word, like words that came out of our mouths and I think, what the hell were we on? I'd rather blast my dick with sound waves than do that. That's got to be you. It is. I have no idea what we were talking about, but okay. Now that's fish and chip power. Um, that's me. It's me.

What the heck? This is the one, you feed the monkey, you go to the cage. Okay, that's me. No, that's me. What? That sounds like a you. That doesn't sound like me at all. What the hell? Do we suck? Do humans suck?

Uh, that's... The only thing that's you. It is me. is me. All right. Yeah, yeah. You could have started with a dollar, but you went straight to five. Do I look like the $5 man?

That's me. I remember that. Yeah, I remember. Okay. Now this is spaghetti. That's me. That is you. That is you.

We were worried about AI. we should be worried about ape eye that's got to be you it's you what ape I you're worried about ape eye

dude I don't even remember saying that listen I'm old but also I'm young and I don't know that's me that is you 100% that's an easy one

I'd rather go to Disney than have a yacht. I don't want a yacht. That's me. That is you. Yep. I hate streamers and YouTubers. They're the worst. That's me.

That's you. That is you. Question. Have snake people taken over malls? That's you. I already knew just because you always go question. I'd pay $400 for a Lego Golem. That's me.

That's me. What? Damn. Yeah. This has to be the last one. We will destroy the ass. Only King Cox can do it. That sounds like you, but I feel like it's gonna end up being me. Oh, it's definitely you.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. That is. Destroying the ass. in the ass. Throw in the eye. I kind of remember saying that, but I don't remember why. I couldn't even begin to tell you why.

I don't know what we were talking about. Dang. Those are some good quotes. Those are solid quotes. I like that a lot. There's so many more. I think they're like 79 in total. It's great.

Oh my God. Yeah. Nice. We got future material. Yeah. If we ever, you know, if there's ever a glut, let's go back there. Yeah, exactly.

Dude, I'm excited because this week I get to react to you reacting to the digital circus. I'm going to spoil you on something real quick. When I submitted my video to the editing team, it was an hour long. So I have a lot to say.

We're about the, my reaction is going to be like the fucking twin towers or whatever, Lord of the Rings. Had like a two and a half hour full on deep dive, huh? Yeah. The two towers, twin towers, the 9-11. Yeah, no, that's the wrong movie. Yeah, you don't want to watch Lord of the Rings, the Twin Towers. The Twin Towers, oh, no.

Oh, no. The second tower has been hit. Mr. Gandalf, they've hit the second tower. Yeah, this episode is great. I mean, I've already seen it like a few times and I've skimmed through other stuff. A few times. Yeah, I've seen it twice and I skimmed through it a bit. What's crazy is it wasn't like I knew you would be someone who would have thoughts and be interested, right?

Because that's the thing we do. But literally I got like a message from Dodger that said, when you watch in that new T-A-D-C with a weird emote of her like spazzing very excited and then a bunch of other people message me like you watch that new episode yet? I'm like, no, don't spoil me.

So when I finally watched it, I messes them all back and all I wrote was, holy shit. So that's where I am. I wonder if they're like just enjoying it or also on like the Crendor deep dive conspiracy and sanity train. I don't know. I feel like everyone I know was brought in after us to watch it because I talked about how much I liked it.

So I feel like wherever they're at, they're like a little further behind on the deep dive, although I could be very wrong. That's true. Oh my God, I should. I saw one guy in Reddit had an insane breakdown of the hacking scene. He's like, I work in cybersecurity. and here's what I found. I can send you the thing.

He wrote an entire like thesis on it. In my video, I literally go through that section because I used to use Windows 95 like crazy and that's 100% the system they're using for that. And so I was like, dude, I was CD backslashing back in the day. Hold on.

And the things they hit in that are really cool. I imagine a guy who knows cybersecurity or whatever knows much deeper what's going on. But like, there was so much stuff I was like oh he's like literally talking to well I don't want to spoil it but it's neat there's some cool stuff going on there I sent you the the link of it but you can see how he like breaks everything down and it's like really interesting like the amount of shitty like breaks down I can even put it in the yeah okay wow this goes on for a while yeah that's what's like I'll put

in the episode description too or whatever but yeah he's straight up just like the they crafted their own windows. Like they are the windows and like here's what this means and like here's all these commands and like here's what these file names would mean. And here it's just like, holy shit. A lot of this, at least from what I'm reading at the beginning is what I kind of picked up on. I'm so curious. I'll have to read that after we're not recording a thing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so impressed with the show because they did the beginning. I also the very like first, I'll say two minutes of this episode, I did a, I spent some time talking about those in my video. I'm not sure what they're going to edit out and keep, I don't know, but I was like,

this, the whole red dot, blue dot thing was fascinating to me and I was like going through what it is trying to say, or at least what I think is trying to say. So I'm like pretty, pretty excited about your reaction to it. Yeah. No, I'm, I've been full-blown deep diving again. because it's I mean even though my

my crazy theories weren't like super accurate they're pretty close I would say yeah and I'm excited that I was going to say this felt like

we're getting close to the end of a season and at the end they were like yeah shows over at episode nine yeah it may be a

season finale it may be a show finale I don't know yeah I think the next episode is supposed to be like an hour. Great. I love that.

Hopefully we'll get a reveal. We'll have to talk about it post you watching. Yeah. Because, yeah, I'm curious to see your reaction to the different thing. Well, now as I react to you reacting,

now I, like, I also have different theories and stuff. I can. Yeah, you have more knowledge than me for sure. Dude, I had one moment where I was like,

I thought I'd come up with an amazing theory. And then I was like, all right, I think I if I can come up with this so easy I believe this is probably a thing that already exists in the community and I'm just not deep in the community so I probably I was like I'm not gonna you know what

I'm not gonna hype myself up I probably this is probably a thing everyone knows and I'm just very late it's I mean it's definitely those things where it's easy to get caught up in conspiracies with this type of show because there are like so many different things

and they but honestly they do so many things well of like, like foreshadowing. Like there's so much foreshadowing. And some of it like is just red herring and some of it actually does mean stuff. Yeah, I mean, again, the beginning scene where it's just the dots.

There's so much going on in that scene and I don't want to spoil the people I haven't seen yet so I won't talk about it. But like I try to break down all things you just said. There's foreshadow. There's like, but it's almost not, it's like the reverse of foreshadowing. It's like filling in the gaps. Yeah.

There's also just like so many people, they'll just be like, guys, I think this is a theory. They say like the most basic shit. I'm just like, well, yeah, obviously. Sure, sure. I mean, that's how I felt. This is what I'm trying to. It's like, I felt like I had like a really great theory. And I was like, this is so basic.

Probably there's 800 Reddit posts about it already. Yeah. It's, uh, I've been. I've been trying to currently toy around. Now, this is like one of my crazy ones. I'm like, no, I don't even believe this, but I'm like trying to see if it has any merit, which was is POMini an NPC.

Okay. There's different, there's like, I'll look at certain things and be like, oh my God, she's an NPC. And then I'll do other things, be like, actually, no, I don't think she is. And then there's like, I'll look at the community and there's like, no, I think she is.

And other people are like, no, she isn't. So I'm like, I'm like 50-50 on it. I'm leading towards she's not. but there are like interesting things here and there. There's a lot of also foreshadowing about being real and what's real or not. Like if you go back episode two

and there's her and Gummygoo and the Gummygo discovers he's an NPC and he's like, I'm not even real. And she's like, well, I mean, you know, you're still like real, you have friends and he's like, no, but like I'm not real. And so like there's kind of like a foreshadowing about reality in that episode.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot. Again, there's a lot of that. And so I guess what's fun about this is they've laid so many dangling threads that they could just pool one and be like, this is what it actually is. And people will be fine with it because they've put in the groundwork for all sorts of different endings. So I'm like kind of here for it. I can't wait to see where this goes. Like I think I'll give you the abstraction theory.

I still don't know what abstraction is. But right now I'm currently thinking it's just cane messing with coding. And he messes too much. and then it just freaks out. It's like we know Kane can mess with people. Yeah, the thing that's interesting is the bit of abstraction we saw, like when you go into it, it's sort of like a peaceful, like, it kind of feels like the way people describe when they get really, really high

and they have an ego death. And they realize like the universe as big as, and they like open themselves up to the possibility of them not being that important. And I wonder if what it is is people discovering that they're not real Yeah

I mean it could be Like I don't know Man dude again I don't know Yeah But that's what's so good about There's like so many things to try and piece together And they're not going to give you all the answers I think that's like pretty obvious

Like they're not going to give a lot of answers There's going to be people like they didn't answer this thing And that's great Because I don't want all the answers I think that's always fun when they don't give everything. There's still some stuff they need to do. I don't think we need, like this show doesn't feel like lost, for example, where they made it all about the island.

They very clearly made it character-focused. So they need to give us character-based answers. Like we need to know about the characters and about, you know, Kane as an entity. But I don't think we need to know like the deep, insane lore of C&Day. And like we don't it's unnecessary really at the end of the day. It's a, we got in this episode most of the things I think you would need to know. Yeah.

No, I think so too. It's, uh, I think again, I think the, the end of the show is really going to be about like reality or just like existence. And I think that's kind of the topic of the like the whole series really is like, you know, are we real or like are we a simulation? does it matter? Like, or even, there's a lot of biblical references and types of things, obviously like Cain and Abel and other stuff,

but it's even, I almost got like the vibe of like a heaven thing where it's like they're existing forever and they kind of just don't want to. It's almost like, do you even want to go to heaven? Do you even want to exist forever? Or do you just want to like die and like go into the abyss? Right.

So final season of Good Place is what you're saying. I don't know what good place is. You've never seen the good place, dude? No. Crendor? Crenor. Crenor. Crenor. You and toast. Must. I'm not even joking.

Everyone who comments will agree with me. You must. You don't need to watch the whole series, but you will want to. Just watch the first season of the Good Place. All right. It's a delightful comedy. it's very good

it's about premise wise it's about four people who are in heaven but one of them is there by mistake I kind of remember and she's not a great person and she's like oh no

and I'll leave it at that and you should it's genuinely one of the best shows I've seen ever period it's so good just watch the first season and then by the end of that

you'll want to watch the rest. All right. I'll check it out. Yeah. I'm telling you, you and toast, sit down, watch it. I want to report. You will spam the series. It's so good.

All right. Are these like hour long episodes or like 30 minutes? It's like a sitcom. Oh, okay. So you're looking at 22 minutes, really. All right. Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, it's great.

You know, sitcoms, it's a comedy show. It's not a sitcom where there's like a crowd going, You know what I mean? But it's played for comedy. I see. Okay. All right. Yes.

Well, you know what else is? Played for comedy? Sure, sure, sure. Well, you'd be playing yourself for comedy. There we go. If you didn't get on these amazing Hero Forge, fully customizable tabletop minis. minis with dozens of fantasy species and thousands of parts to choose from all within your browser. Next time you roll up to your favorite D&D game or whatever you're playing.

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Plus, they're constantly expanding the catalog of what they have, all the different customization options, adding new parts every week. It's really cool to see all the different things you can get there. Go into the character creator. Go into the mini creator. You can do it through your browser on their website and just mess around. They also have the same material they use for the,

the color printed minis and the standees and stuff, they make dice as well, really perfectly weighted dye that you can use and then input stuff inside of it. So if you want to have like, oh, this is the dice I use when I roll my weapon, or this is my healing dice, so maybe I want to put a little healing flask in there.

You can have all of that. And they have different shapes, right? All the different polyhedral dimensions. And then regular size and extra large. They even have standard dice and life counter layouts. There's a lot going on over there. Plus, if you get the pro subscription, you get access to the kit bashing, the photo booth, the community library, all sorts of other things. Let me tell you, kit bashing is so much fun, just in general.

And so being able to do that, if you want to get on the pro subscription, go ahead and do that. And the way you can do all of it is use code Crendor to get 5% off on all orders of physical miniatures, although it's not combinable with other sales or promotions. So visit heroforge.com to start designing your custom mini and dice today. Check back off and new content, like I said, added every week again, code Crendor to get 5% off. All right, let's go to Chapter 7th, Screndor. How's that traffic out there? Oh, man, traffic right now, well, it's like we mentioned earlier, it's pretty bad because nobody knows how to drive. So that always makes traffic bad.

I used to think traffic was pretty bad, but then, hey, you know what? Wait a while, and it just keeps getting worse. You know, that's just, uh, that's the system, man. That's what they're doing. You would think that less people would be driving with the gas prices going up, and no, they just keep driving. It's like when you go to a sports game, they charge like $18 for a beer. They're like, man, nobody's going to pay that, $18 and everybody's drinking beer.

That's why they're charging it. Thank you. Dude, Krendor, every time I look at Scandal, And America pops up. I'm in shock every time. Because it's like you look at something in, you know, the EU or something in, you know, some other, like, Paraguay or whatever. And it'll pop up and be like, beer and hot dog four pounds. And then you see the American one.

It's like, beer and hot dog, $23. I'm like, what the hell? Every time. It's crazy. I have completed scrandle. You've done them all? I've done every single. Scandal now, except the Naman only the most recent ones. I didn't do like a few days.

Oh, I have to wait. I'd take a few days off so I have a backlog. Well, that's what I would do like three or four every stream. And then now I've just, I've worked my way all the way back to April 2025 and I ran out of scrandles. I just, it's so jarring. Just see, you know, some of them, I think I understand the meta now of how Scandal works. But sometimes, you'll just see a thing and you'll question reality. You'd be like, why? Why did we pick this? What was happening on this particular day that everyone said,

this is the winner? I just, I have so many questions, but also, I just don't care, but also I kind of do. Scandal messes with my mind. It makes me upset. I understand if Scrandall existed, I would, long ago,

I'd be even more of a content. tankerous old fool. Yeah, it's, there's definitely a lot of, a lot of things where it's just, I'm like, this has to be the winner. And then it just, it's just like the low,

it's like 10% or something. I'm like, are you kidding me? It'll be like a beer and like a, a pretzel for like $3. And I'll be like, holy shit, what a deal. And it'll get like 20% and lose to like mushy peas. I'm still upset over the fact

there was one where it was, I don't remember what the other choice was, but it wasn't that great, but the choice that I selected was literally like free sausage, no, it was you pay for sausage, but then get unlimited beer. And I was like,

that's clearly the winner. There's no way this cannot be the winner. That's a steal. And it was like, no, no, it's the other one. I was like, what are we, what are we doing? What are we doing? Like, even if you don't like beer, You could just take the beer and like chug it down or something.

I don't know. Just get, take a one, give it to a friend. Make friends in your, if it's free. Unlimited, just go get a bunch of beer and like make friends in your section of the stadium. Yeah. Let's just eat your damn sausages. Like you could do some. There's so many things you can do with that.

Even if you don't like beer. Bring it for someone else. I just my, and the fact that I just, man, I'm still upset about that. I was like, there's. No one has any fiscal responsibility anymore. That is clearly the best deal. At a stadium, it's going to get hot. You're going to want to drink, drinking beer.

And the heat is like one of the best things that exists on Earth. What are we doing? People just don't know. They don't know how to scray in and they don't know how to drive. They don't know how to scorn and they don't know how to dole. That's the traffic. All right, let's go to weather. Time weather

Time War Uh, we've landed on Quincy Oh man It said Quincy M.A. Exclamation point. I thought it said Quincy Mai.

And I was like, where the hell is my? Is that like in Thailand? Oh, is it Quincy Mass? Is that what we're doing? Yeah, yeah, Quincy Mass. Okay. I was like Quincy, my. Let's see, currently in Quincy, Massachusetts, it is 44 degrees Fahrenheit.

But it feels like 38 degrees Fahrenheit. I don't like this. I got to be in Boston in like less than a week. And I'm like, oh, come on, man. I think 40s isn't too bad. Yeah. but I'm in L.A. And when I hit 40s,

you remember when we were there and it was like 5 degrees and I was like spasming cold. 40? I'll be like, oh, God, it's so cold. Like, I just know me. That's true. That was Davis when he was in the live show we had.

Yes. He was here outside that Polish place just dying. He's like, I was like, dude, it's like 50 degrees right now. It's not even that bad. Wind 5 miles an hour Air pressure 38

Pressure 29.73 inches Visibility 8 miles Sunrise 643 a.m. Sunset 6.58 PM humidity 60 or no 93% Dewpoint 44 UV index

0 and a waxing crescent moon And a Beep beep beep Monday 37 degrees with rain and snow Tuesday 45 Partly cloudy

Wednesday 52, partly cloudy, Thursday 58, cloudy. Friday, 46 with some a.m. showers. Saturday, 40, mostly sunny. Sunday, 48, mostly sunny. Monday, 55, partly cloudy. Tuesday, 52, partly cloudy. Wednesday, 53, partly cloudy. I was going to say, oh, it's a suburb or like, you know, an area outside of Boston.

It is. And it very much has that vibe of like, we're not Boston, but we're all a American, baby. There is, the amount of, like, chain restaurants is very high, but also the amount of, like, Liberty Tavern and, like, you know, that kind of stuff. Right. It's also very high. It's a lot of, like, modern American bistros.

A lot of steakhouses. Oh, my goodness. Damn, there are a lot of steakhows. Look at it. Yeah, it has that vibe of, like, I wouldn't, I haven't looked into it, but it feels like it is, Uh, in, okay. Is the Quincy from like Quincy Adams? Is that what this is?

Because when you go to their website, it says, City of Presidents. I mean, I guess it would be John Quincy Adams. It 100% has this vibe of, um, like upper middle class. Yeah, I can see that. Just looking at it. The fact that it has like a fun.

little webpage definitely has this sort of, it isn't the vibe of like a city web page. There's a bunch of stuff on there and it's all this like, we are aware that the roads are destroyed. It's literally just like free soft rock concert April 18th. Thanks to Mayor Thomas Koch and the city of Quincy invite you to celebrate this spring, like that kind of thing. Yeah. Brothers roast beef and pizza.

I bet, I bet both of those are good. It feels like one of those restaurants where it both has great roast beef and good pizza. It looks pretty alright. It doesn't look bad, but it's not like, it doesn't look amazing. You got a 4.1. Every restaurant, as far as I can tell, has some form of burger and or oyster and or like, you know, when people started to make those thick fries? Like the steak cut fries? Yeah, like not quite chips, but like the big, thick, almost yucas. style fries. Yeah. There's a lot of those two. Oh, yeah.

Maybe that's a Quincy thing. Maybe John Quincy Adam love those. Loves it. Yeah, I don't know. Still alive. His ghost haunts all the burger places. But there are a ton of burger places.

Yeah, there are a lot. Burgers and pizza. Yeah, and steakhouses. But again, I guess that's kind of the vibe of like northern, northeastern America. You can get like your fish and your steak and you I mean I don't hate it. I found sweet frog.

It's really just a frozen yogurt place but with some like happy frogs. Yeah, the logo is very cute. Yeah. Oh, you're that. Oh my God. Hold on. I went to their website. All right.

This is from Kevin Mason on 32325. Here we go. Okay people. You know it's a best. that time to go crazy on all the ice cream that you can mix on the shelf. Serve side of things. You can have fun mixing different ice creams into one cup. It's such a beautiful thing.

Why are you not there? I don't know. So get your behind down here now. It's a beautiful thing. Wow. That's a beautiful thing. Part of that, the last part of that feels like something Trump would say.

It's a beautiful thing. Wow. Get you behind down here now. It's a beautiful thing. Wow. Beautiful thing. We love ice cream. You scream, ice cream.

We all scream. Or ice cream. I hate how easy it is to just do that. It's so funny. It's so much like easy flight, like easy, what's it called? Like the talking mannerisms or whatever. It's kind of like review broad being like, hello everyone. Like it's that type of same.

Yeah. He does the like, you know, he does the like, you have. the... Blah, blah, blah, blah. Is that, like, same type of, like, thing he always does. He, like, starts low and goes, like, we know that the American public... I found a photo of the frog mascot,

Scoop and Cookie going to the Chicago Theater. Oh, my God, it is. Scoop and cookie. Scoop and cookie. I didn't realize sweet frogs. We don't even have sweet frogs in Chicago. Never heard of it. Yeah.

Never heard of it. Yeah. The hell? Maybe it's like a Boston thing. Oh, wait. It says, I am a franchisee and my partner, John Skia Kata, took this picture in Chicago. Maybe it's coming your way, dude. Although this was 2013. Maybe they were here.

Never mind. Maybe they tried. We loved Scoop and Cookie until they went crazy. They became liberals. We hated it. They have TDS. They got vaccinated. It was so sad. They used to be such good people. They voted for.

me they did. Now they're turning the frogs gay and that's what happened. It's really sad. People are telling me. So many, so many people. Yeah, that's the weather. All right, what's going on in sports?

March madness. That's right. March madness is happening. I did a bracket. It's going pretty mediocre. Let's see. Any big upsides happening? What did I just say? Upsets? Upsets, yeah, yeah. I was currently beating number one Florida, but there's still 14 minutes to go.

Let's see. Any big ones? Any big ones? Look in here, we had, no, it's like nothing today. Tennessee was number six. They beat UVA. It was number three. That's a little upset. North Carolina lost round one.

That was a big upset. But nothing too crazy, unless I'm like completely missing them, but it doesn't seem that way. Then in NBA basketball, we got the Pistons in first. They've already claimed a playoff spot. And then we've got the Thunder and the Spurs

who have also claimed playoff spots in the West. Then we've got the hockey. And the Buffalo Sabres still rolling. They won four in a row, nine and one in their last 10. They're the second best team in the east behind the Carolina Hurricane by two points. It's still pretty insane. I can't believe they've finally flipped it around. And then the Colorado Avalanche are first in the west behind,

or ahead of the Dallas Stars and the Minnesota wild. And then we've got the, you, yo, yo, baseball. This week we had opening day. I believe it's on Thursday, Wednesday. I think Wednesday is opening day. So we get the

start of the baseball season, so it'll be fun. I always like background noise baseball or putting it out on like the radio or something. Baseball is fun to watch, but in a like, yeah, just like you discussed, a background way. Even when I'm at a ball game,

It technically is background to a conversation I'm having. Oh, hit the ball. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So what were you saying? Like, that's how it is. Yeah, like even baseball announcing, it's almost like my type of live streaming,

where you're just kind of like rambling about something else. A lot of the time, you'll be like, you remember back in 97 when this guy was playing? And be like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember that. And ball outside. Yeah. 97 was a good year.

That's exactly. That's exactly what it is. There's something, I don't want to say quaint, because I feel like that demeans baseball, but there's something quaint about it. It's very, it feels very old fashioned and fun,

and you just sit there. Honestly, I think that's why people pay $18 for a beer. I think it's, I think it is too, although they'll pay that at any sporting event. That's true. I think it just boils down to people go there,

and they're like, well, I got to get a beer. Can't just not get a beach. Like, if I'm at an L.A. game, I'm getting a Dodger dog. It's just going to happen. Yeah. Getting that Dodger dog. That's the thing.

Although that ties back in the scrandle. I remember there was like a scrandal thing. It was like $32 for a Modelo and like a hot dog. I was like, bro, that's worth like three bucks. All right? That's like a $3 deal. And I was like at that point, if you're going to pay that much for like a Modelo and a hot dog,

you should just get like one strong IPA or something. Then that's the equivalent of like two, three modellos. Just go for your IPAs. There you go. Save money. Oh, it's so crazy too, especially in L.A. because they have different, I mean, they do most places, but L.A. really sneaky about it. Well, each thing will have, like, different drinks. And so you really have to travel to find what you want. And because each sort of stall is a different style of food, they will have matching drinks with it, if that makes any sense.

So, like, you know, they might have, like, one of the Asian stalls that's selling, like, like, Takayaki or something, and they'll have Asian beers, or they'll have one stall that is doing like, alcoholic ice slushies. Or they'll have another thing that's like, oh yeah,

no, this is where you can get only beers, but it's like Budweiser and Modelo and Takate and like that. So you have to like go on a hunt to find things. It's wild. Or you settle for what's near you. You grab it really quick and you go back to your scene. Yeah.

It's like they're trying to do like some like Disneyland themed, like Epcot. They really are. Dude, the last time I was there, I was walking around, more people, it felt like, were standing around outside talking and drinking than actually watching the game. But again, that's because every game I

physically go to, they lose, which is why I don't go to our games often, because I'm tired of paying to watch them lose. That is pretty funny. Actually, you know what? I think most of the Cubs games I've gone to, they lose as well. They weren't as bad luck. We're just bad luck, man. We've got to stay out. Yeah.

Not good. Not good. Um. Eh, yeah, yeah. That sports. Okay. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. Fact.

Did you know that giraffes come to communicate with each other? What? All right. You mean like, Like that? Or do you mean like, like, what do you mean they hum? Well, it says here that it's thought that low frequency humming

could be a form of contact call between individuals who have been separated from their herd, helping them to find each other in the dark. And there's researchers that think that they sleep talk as well. Interesting. I kind of understand that, the idea of you don't want to alert a predator at night because that's when most predators hunt. Mm-hmm.

And so if you get lost, you give like a call, but you can't go, hey guys, where are you? Because that's so you die. Yeah. All right. That checks out. That's interesting. Yeah, it says in 2015, researchers analyzed recordings of giraffes from zoos in Berlin,

Copenhagen, and Vienna and found that they make a low frequency humming noise at night. So, yeah, it's definitely like a, hey guys, let's stay safe out here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't draw attention. It's the same equivalent as don't flush your wallet after midnight. Yeah. You know, like, shut up, dumb, dumb, get home safe. Just walking outside like, hey, I got $500 in my wallet, but like, do you know where the other hundred went?

Guys, I lost some money. Yes, yes. The amount of people that think that that's cool showing off is insane to me. Like, I just want to be like, put your money away. Stop trying to brag. Yeah. I get it. You're young and you have money, but shut up, dude.

Yeah. You're going to get got. You're going to get got. You don't want that. So there you go, giraffe humming. Love that. Okay, you know what else I love? People who come to us with tears in their eyes.

Dear Lustry of Sirs, the tears of my eyes, I must ask. Over the hundreds of episodes, what Florida man or other news story is the most memorable? I still think about the attempted arson with spaghetti. I mean, obviously, that's an important one because that got us on HBO. That's right. This show is on HBO. Let it be known.

And all of my bios now I have as featured on HBO. I'm not even joking. Obviously, that's a good one. Yes. My favorite one to date is, even though I'm pretty sure we discovered it was a fake story, I don't care. Shout to my boy Tito Watts for all of his many misadventures from trying to sell fake golden tickets to heaven to trying to, you know, create a giant underwater restaurant.

All the different things Tito wanted to do. Trying to cash that one fake check. Just amazing stuff. Shout out to Tito watch. Wherever you're at, you possibly fake man. I love you. I always love Newport Ritchie. And I honestly can't even tell you what the news story was about Newport Ritchie.

But I just love the fact that there's like an evil villain named Newport Ritchie. Richie that lives in Newport It took place in maybe Newport and maybe involved a guy named Richie or it was a guy named Richie who smoked Newport's I don't remember but I do Yes, I love the idea of Florida Man has his villain Newport Richie

Yes, there's an actual city called Newport Richie Crazy, maybe that's what it was I think it was just taking place there and something happened But like it just It just be great if there's a guy Name Newport Richie that only smokes Newport's It's just like this is my

And he's like, he's like a mob boss, but not like a good one. He's like a small time, only Newport Richie mob boss. Like he runs only that city. But it's just a tiny like 16,000 population Florida City. I also want to give a shout out to the Florida Man Games, which just happened. The champions of 2026 games was the Freedom Factory, which is if I were to describe them to you, I don't know why I'd waste your time because this is exactly, they look like every group of bros you've ever seen. Yeah.

They've got the giant sunglasses, the like hats that have logos for like, you know, some trucking company, I don't know. And they have the cut off shirts. Just solid. Love it. Big fan. Yep.

Fantastic. You know what? I think was Monkey Mondays in Florida? I think it was. Yeah. Yeah. That's got to be up there too. Let's see, hold on. I need the monkey Mondays, Florida.

It was. Those 2018? That's what I'm saying, dude. Florida is the gift that keeps on giving whether we want it or not. It's been eight years since Monkey Mondays. We could have had so many Monkey Mondays. We really, look, we could have. We could have. Sad times.

Sad times. All right. And then we've got, dear illustrious sirs, weeping and desperate I beseech you. Why is it called the fact of the day when this show comes out weekly? Surely it should be fact of the week, or is the conceit of the show that it is the fact daily, but we only get to hear it once a week? Well, it's because there are several facts that happen every day during the week. And this is the one we've chosen on this particular day. But if we were to do this on a Tuesday, it would be the fact of that day. fact of the day that we currently are existing in.

Exactly. Yeah. There's facts every day, but we only talk about this one. We only choose this fact of this day. Yeah. Exactly. Pull that out our asses. Pretty good.

Yeah, that's pretty good. That's the dear illustrious sirs. You get your dear illustrious sir answered on the YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast YouTube channel in the comments section. Look at that. Those two people commented And they got it done Yeah

Yeah Wow Well it's that time For our big new story of the day Not weekday Big news story of the day Day Day

Day Day Um This one I thought you would like So I picked it Okay Sharks in the Bahamas Are full of cocaine, caffeine,

caffeine and pain killers. First off, I don't know why you thought I'd like that. Because now I'm worried about cocaine shark. But, okay, yeah, I have many questions. Is it because just Coke gets dumped in the water? But then the sharks are just like, that looks delicious. What do you mean, Crendor? What do you mean?

Well, here we go. The crystal clear waters of the Bahamas are filled with enough traces of human pharmaceuticals and illegal drugs that it's showing up in shark blood. Oh no. Yep. A new study published in environmental pollution found that sharks off the coast of the Bahamas are carrying trace amounts of drugs. The research team led by the biologist Natasha Woznik analyzed blood samples from 85 sharks near Elyuthera Island and nearly a third tested positive for substances including caffeine, anti-inflammatory drugs like acetametaphne and dichlofenac and in one case, cocaine. Um, actually, I have an issue. I believe an anti-inflammatory drug would not be acinemetaphine. It would actually be ibuprofen. So the people at vice.com are failing everyone. Failing miserably.

Yeah. Acetaminephrine works. Esotisimofin? Yeah, yeah, by affecting the pain receptors or some shit like that. Gotcha. Uh, there you go. Listen, I know. way too much about medical stuff. Sharks in the Bahamas are eating tons of drugs.

Caffeine showed up most often. Caffeinated, cooked out sharks, dude, in the Bahamas. Oh my God. Caffeine showed up the most often, followed by ibuprofen and acetametaphic. Okay, there we go. You don't think about it once it clears up your headache or dissipates a muscle leak. Those common everyday pain killers do eventually leave your system and as this study shows eventually make their way into our waters. Species affected included in nurse sharks, Caribbean reef sharks and the juvenile lemon shark.

Ooh, lemon shark. So, so sharks that aren't like out to kill you. Okay, that's fine. Yeah. Although, but they get coked up, they might. They might be. You give them some drugs. Yeah, they're ready.

Is it? They start growing legs and shit. The researchers say that the likely sources are all human related, who would a guess, such as sewage, runoff, waste is charged, and of course, tourism. Forest waiting in the beautiful waters of Bahamas will pee in those waters, releasing trace amounts of whatever drugs they've imbibed, both legal and illegal. Okay, so I was thinking like, wait a minute, so they're saying that if I take some painkillers, go take a piss,

it somehow ends up from my toilet to the ocean? that's not true. But what you're saying is, this is just a bunch of people in the Bahamas all coked up and or caffeinated and or taking, you know, something for their headache.

And then they're like, you know what? I'm not going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to walk out into the ocean and take a piss. And that piss water, a shark is like, what's this?

Mm, caffeinated water. Yum, yum, yummers. And then gets all jacked up. Yeah, pretty much. Scientificallyly speaking. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yummers is very scientific. Yeah, and jacked up. Cocaine was an isolated finding, and its presence in the shark's blood rather than its muscle tissue suggested it had been exposed fairly recently. Researchers point out that sharks are opportunistic feeders who investigate unfamiliar objects they encounter,

just in case they might be edible. That includes inedible objects, such like a brick of cocaine. Dude. That's, I mean, like, that's what I thought. Yeah. Because, yeah, so, because sharks are notorious for just giving things a test bite

and they probably saw some cocaine in the water and were like, what's that? I, you know what? Just part of me wants to know what a shark on cocaine would be like. Yeah, it's like that movie with the cocaine bear or whatever it was. Yeah, obviously that bear goes crazy and kills everyone. But like, a coked up shark, what's that guy doing?

Yeah, what is that guy doing? The most concerning part of all this is the biological changes that could result from the wild cocktail of drugs. Sharks with contaminated blood show shifts in metabolic markers tied to stress and energy use. Researchers aren't sure what the long-term effects of exposure might be, but similar studies and other species have shown that exposure to stimulants like caffeine can alter behavior, affect feeding, movement,

and the animal's response to risk. Obviously, natural headline here is that there are sharks on drugs in the Bahamas. While it's technically happening, there's much more sensationalistic takes. The reality is we humans are blissful. unaware of the fact that the drugs we put in us eventually leave us and end up saturating whatever they flow into like microplastics. I was going to say, I don't know if we're blissfully

unaware. I feel like we choose to ignore it. I think we're yeah, we're blissfully aware more than anything. We're like, no, no, we understand. It's the same things when people are told like you know your phone is made in a factory by child labor and people are like that's terrible anyway and they just get back

on their phone. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Like we are blissfully aware. That's what it should be. It's a kind of contamination that's easy to ignore because it's invisible. Just because we can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't have serious ramifications, some of which might be directly affecting our food chain. That's, you know... Yeah, watch out.

I get bit by a cocaine shark soon or caffeine shark. I don't want to get bit by any sharks, man. They need to stay away from me. Those guys, that's the last thing I need is having one of my fears confirmed. Yeah, it's more likely now if they're drugged up. Don't say that Now I can never go to Bahamas Yeah, we're just don't go in the water I guess

But even then But that's the whole point Yeah they might Again they might start going online This rate Yeah You never know He's all jacked up on Coke

He's looking for a hamburger He's on his mind That's your big new story of the day All right Why do I feel like that's That's gonna be a quote in a few years He's all jacked up on Coke and he's looking for a hamburger.

He's going to be like, man, I don't remember what that was about. I have no idea what you're talking about. Yep, that's going to happen. Yep. All right. Well, that's it for us. Thanks so much for listening. You're watching.

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