Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 505 - Bathroom Gushers

Episode Date: May 3, 2026

The boys are back and this time Crendor is bringing gnomes and vampires and adventure. Jesse is bringing sunburns. But hey at least he has a buff to stamina! Then of course it's your weekely streamer complaint sessions - but nothing can prepare you for shirtless men in bathrooms with gushers. In this podcast and I assume real life. All this and so much more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at http://square.com/go/COX #squarepod Go to http://heroforge.com and use code CRENDOR to get 5% off. Head to http://Factormeals.com/cox50off and use code cox50off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box Come see us live! https://lh-st.com/shows/08-22-2026-chilluminati-cox-n-crendor-live/

Today's episode is brought to by Factor Factor's got those good meals delivered right to your home. Also, today we're brought to by HeroForge. HeroForge has some awesome minis who can customize yourself and bring to your next tabletop adventure. And then, of course, we're brought to you by Square, the service we use for our live shows. Speaking of live shows, we got one coming up, August 22nd. Tickets are selling quickly. There is 20, I think, left in the entire place. So if you want them tickets, you better get them tickets.

Because they will sell out like they always do. Link down below. Let's jump to this podcast. Everybody, it's time for goes on Fred Dog. This is a friend of morning. In the morning. Live, live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour reporting studio.

Record it. Wake your ass up. It's up. It's up. Good morning. Hello, everybody like somebody. I was on Cox and Crendah in the morning. Yep.

Yep. It's a nice little song you're saying there. I liked that. That was fun. It's kind of like a whimsical forest intro. Yeah, like you were like a gnome, like a forest gnome on a little adventure. Yeah. But you had like, you know, it's like you and you had to go collect mushrooms, but they're so big those mushrooms.

How are you going to get it back to your gnome home? That's true. How am I going to get those? to my gnome home. I don't know. That's the fun of the adventure. That's very true. It's all about the gnome home journey, not the gnome home destination.

But as we know in this film called Crendor, Nomeway Home, you pick a mushroom, but the wind picks it up and carries you off like an umbrella. And you fly away and you get lost in the forest. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to need fan art of that at some point.

Yeah, Dodgers already living there probably. Her whole thing is mushrooms, which like, I don't even, I don't even know when she did that. When did Dodger make her whole thing mushrooms? I mean, she started thinking that way when she got to the farm, so I would assume it's some sort of farm-related bacteria. You know what? That makes sense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's getting black molded into thinking she's a mushroom. That makes sense to me. Yeah. No, that checks out. So, how's your week going? Uh, dude, it's been going. Great.

I got back from Fan Fest, and that was a treat. It was very nice to see everyone. I made tactical errors. I don't know what happened, but I just assumed I could exist like a normal human being and walk around and like enjoy the things. But I also live in a world where you know me. I can't say no to anyone. And more importantly, I thrive off attention like a big old attention whore. That's very true.

Yeah. So when I was there, anytime someone stopped me, I would like stop and talk to them. And many times during the fan fest, I got stopped by one person and then stood in line signing things and talking to people for, I'm going to say hours every day. And so one day, I just got stopped outside and I ended up being outside for four hours. Let me tell you, I did not plan on that. And I got my ass sunburnt so bad. I was like, no. So that was a tactical error on my part.

But other than that, I live for that. I'm a huge fan of talking to people and sucking their life essence that I might live longer. Like, you know, I love that kind of stuff. You're a huge fan of fan interaction. I will say convention-wise, they announced a lot of cool stuff that really resonated with me. I like that they're going a little more casual. That's what I want. I am in my casual prime.

And so I had a good time. But the thing that really impressed me, the thing that I felt the best about, and it made me feel like, yeah, You know what? Working out is helping. The day, so that's two days of just standing. That's pretty much all I did the entire time. Last day, went to the concert they had, which is my favorite part. It reminds me of the old days when Blizzard had, you know, elite torn chieftain and stuff like that. So they had a concert.

It was great, but we had to stand two hours before the concert started during the concert, the whole thing. Plus, I've been standing all day. And so I felt like a mess. But the next day, Sunday, as this tradition, when you're in Anaheim, go to Disney. So we all went to Disney. Huge group went to Disney. And I must stress,

we were there from 10 a.m. until 9, 9.30 at night. Walked the entire time. I think we did like 18,000 steps or something like that. Felt fine. I could have gone more. Every other time I've been to Disney, by the time I left, I was just broken.

Not this time. This time I was like totally fine. everyone in my group looked beat up and I was like, yo, I could do more. I'm fine. And it felt really good. I was like, yeah. I'm back, baby.

Dude, that's, now you're on the Crendor exercise mindset. It's all about. Real talk. And it's not just muscular gains. It's like, you know, stamina gains, just like health gains, just in general. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what impressed me the most

as I had the stamina to do. three full days of hold on let me see if i can look up the actual craziness that occurred those days friday was 11,000 steps like that's whatever that's what i should be doing uh saturday was 12,000 sunday was oh i'm sorry 19, 1226 oh my god we did 9.6 miles felt fine it was i genuinely was impressed with myself i felt really good i was like you know what this is all kind of paying off And I also got a lot of nice compliments from people at Fan Fest. Everyone was like, wow, you're looking good. I was like, you're just saying that.

Stop it. Yeah, I think that's what it's all about, you know, just, you know, being, I mean, I'm in my, currently in my rehab era, of course. This has been the year of the rehab. Not like drug rehab, but like, you know, intended. You know, I was just going to let you say that and not even remotely ask a question. You're like, yeah, yeah, no, he's in rehab all right. No, I'm not like the island boy. Which, by the way, can I just say that I had a...

I clicked to find out where Island Boy is now, and he is actually in rehab. I'm happy for him. He should be. Because that video, dude, that was painful. That, like, hurt my soul. It was, it was bad. I love the fact that he's like, I'm not even on anything. And then 20 seconds later hits his vape.

I'm just like, yeah, that's... The vape doesn't count. That's like a baby drug. By the end, his eyes were so red. I was like either one, he is trying to hold back tears or two, he is definitely on something right now. Yeah. Yeah, without a doubt. Which, if you watch the video, I fully believe that like an older Asian man who was just on set.

Oh, yeah. Definitely was the guy who was given him. Like, that guy had this look like, yeah. That man had a suspicious look about him. He was just like the kids told me I'd make this and make money, but what the hell is this? Yeah, I don't know what his vibe was, but he, I don't know if he owned the property or if he was someone's manager or if he was just like, there's girls here. Yeah, it could have been any of those. Yeah, yeah.

It was an interesting tool for this. It was, it was interesting. All right. Yeah. To the point where like, that's, I haven't even reacted to your latest one, because I'm still recovering. It's worth recovering from that one. Every comment was like, dude, I am too old for this. I'm like, that's what I'm saying.

I think I was too old for it like 15 years ago. Yeah, yeah, it's rough. But you know what? Island boys. Where was I at? Oh, yeah, steps. So, like, I also saw JP tweeted. And he was like, yo guys, look at this, 18,000 steps today compared to the normal gray.

You know what? You know, this is crazy. And then I checked. Oh, we had like a thousand. I was like, yeah, JP, that's like a thousand steps a day. Like, what do you? He's just like, Crendor, I don't need this. All right.

I think it's the streamer life. It is a lot of streamers do eight-hour stream days where they sit down and stream. But then because they're gamers, their off-stream life is also sitting down in gaming. Yep. No, it definitely is that. Like, they don't do anything. And like even at my worst this year, all right? Like when I was, when I injured my hip, my ankles were bad.

Like my legs were destroyed. I still did 1,700 steps a day like while I was dying. And then like after that, I was up to like 2,400, 2,800 in the last couple of months, like 32, 34. And then last month was 4,100. So I'm like, I'm slowly coming back. online but like prior to that like I didn't even do like 10,000 a day

like a lot of times from what I've looked at pretty much you need like 5 to 7,000 but like you need to constantly move like the worst thing you can do is just sit for hours so like it's actually better if you're just like sitting for a bit

and then you move around and you sit for a bit and move around like that's the most impactful thing and then on top of that doing like you know exercise like at the gym like cardio or a strength training and stuff. It was like, even going to the gym, I would hit like, I used to average like six to 10,000 steps a day.

Yeah, and here's the crazy thing. If you go to like, I don't know, get on a treadmill or elliptical or whatever and you do it for 30 minutes, you're already going to clock in at 3, 4,000, depending on how fast you go. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's 30 minutes less. Actually, I think most machines, their systems are 28 minutes. Yeah.

No, it's... You can get it done and then move on with your day. Yeah, I mean, there's even studies with, like, hit cardio. Like, I don't even got to go crazy. You can just do five minutes of, like, really intense cardio and, like, ramp your heart rate really high. And, like, that's still, like, very effective.

Like, just... You just, like, really just doing anything. Like, just... It's good. There's all sorts of things you can do. But I think what Krendor is trying to say is just move around. Yeah, exactly. because I kind of mentioned the glute activation last week or two weeks ago.

But when you sit, your glutes turn off. And when your glutes turn off, you're like everything gets work. Because your glutes are like pulling your hips back. They're like stabilizing things. And so you just start getting a bunch of issues, which is why when you're, when you're, you know, working out for the first time and you're someone that sits a lot, everyone's like, my hip flexors are tight. My hips are tight.

That's because your glutes are off. So you have to stretch your hip flexors, but you don't just stretch them because they're weak. So you need to stretch them and then strengthen them in that length and position to then teach your body like, oh, wow, like this is the proper way of movement. And then you can't just go back to sitting constantly. That's the other big thing because then your body's like, oh, I guess we didn't need to do that. You have to tell your body like, hey, we actually need to use this and keep everything turned on. Because your whole thing is your body tries to conserve energy. So it's going to be like, oh, we're not using this.

So I'm going to turn it off. And you have to be like, actually, no, we need that. And so that's, when you're younger, it doesn't matter. But the older you get, it starts adding up, right? That's when it really starts, as the years go on and you're like, oh, man, that pain in my neck, that pain in my back, the pain in my ankles, the cat meowing. You know, it's just, it all starts adding up. And then it snowballs.

And then before you know it, you're just like, I'm falling apart. Yeah, I mean, that's my thing. so far I've been very lucky that I haven't had any of that, but I know for a fact that's only because I'm lucky. So I got to do something now or else I know. There'll be a day I wake up and I'm like, well, that's it. I'm done. I don't want that.

So I'm preemptive. I'm like, nope, I'm going to get it done now. I'm going to just start going hard while I can because one day I won't be able to. There's obviously going to be a cutoff at some point where you're like, you know, you hit 65 and the doctor's like, Like, you can't do that anymore. You'll die. Like, you can't go to the gym like that.

You're just going to have to go walk on a bike path or whatever. Like, so I got to get it in now. It has to happen. Yeah. No, it's especially even muscle, like strength trainings. They said, like, if you start working out now, your muscles actually do have muscle memory. Like, that is a real thing. So if you're older and you've already built up muscle and you have muscle memory,

your muscles actually can be stronger or, like, maintain that strength. or even if you work out when you're older, it'll like remember better. While if you don't do anything when you're younger and then you wait, it's just kind of like, it's just not as easy. I think that's the big thing.

You don't have to be a bodybuilder. You don't got to like, you know, run marathons. Just like, you just work out enough to feel good. Yeah, it's really it. And then I immediately felt bad because I got the game Soros.

And let me tell you, dude, that's, that I screwed up. I screwed up big time. What is that game? One of the most punishing games. It's so I've never felt even worse because we had Jack Septukeye on Geekenders. And he was like, yeah, I played Soros, beat it in three days.

And I was like, cool. Because I'm bad at it. Like genuinely bad. I don't, did you ever play Returnal? No. So Returnals is this game that it, story wise is right up my alley. It's one of those things that's like a completely weird drip fed to you story where you get visions of things that make no sense. You have to figure it out as you play, that kind of thing.

Except it's a bullet hell. And not a top-down bullet hell. It's like a third-person bullet hell. And it is tough. It's also a roguelight. So you would have runs where you just get absolutely shrecht. And you know me. I'm like, if I can't just play a game.

And on easy mode sometimes, I don't want to play it. So that game beat me to death. And this one, exact same team, exact same vibe, except it's more Eldridge-horreery, less scary game and more like, what is happening? This is weird. It's very cool, but clearly designed to hurt you,

like, returnal. And so Soros is great. I would explain the plot, even a little bit, but it would automatically spoil it for anyone who knows Eldridge Horror stuff. Like it's that, it's so on the nose, like, oh, okay. But you're trying to figure out what's going on and why it's going on. But, you know, the first one was you were kind of on your own discovering stuff and this

one you're with a team and the team, everyone's going crazy, basically. And so that's really compelling and I love it. And I want all the story bits. The problem is in between the story bits, it's throwing yourself at walls of enemies that do not respect you at all, at all. So I go from this convention where everyone's like, we're going to make Final Fantasy better and simpler, and it's going to be so much fun and more casual to this beast that is just completely destroying. And I got to be honest. I like the other one. I like casual better.

I'm going to be real on this one. I like it better Yeah, I've seen people playing it And I didn't really know what it was about And then I kind of watched it And I was like, it was definitely not a Crendor game So I just stopped Yeah, it

Like I love Rogue Lights I will say This one is significantly better in Returnal And that it lets you slowly Like you can have Stuff that builds up Like Returnal sometimes runs with just Well, that's it

And this you can Cumulatively keep going You know what I mean? Like over time, I will eventually, it will get beaten. Yeah. Returnal was like, well, this could be the run you beat it, or this could be the run that you wish you didn't exist anymore. Yeah, I mean, listen, I love a good rogue light,

but maybe I just don't like the scary element. Yeah, it's, Returnal is definitely has a scary element. This one is less scary and more, you know, know what it is? It's the difference between Dead Space 1 and Dead Space 3, if that makes any sense. Like, Dead Space 1, clearly a horror game. Dead Space 3, you're shooting, and there's some things that are kind of scary, but most of the scares come from the fact that, like, 16 enemies appear on screen, you have to find a way to kill them. You know, and so that, you know, it's kind of like the difference between, like, old Resident Evil's and the ones that, like, you know, later on, five and six, where it was just like, he's going to punch him older now. And it was insane, but you still had to fight zombies.

It's that kind of thing. I don't play Resident Evil either. Well, there you go. You won't play this either. But, yeah. I did play vampire crawlers. What is vampire crawlers? Oh, man.

Vampire crawlers is... Oh, is it the Survivors game? Is it the card game? Yeah, it's the card game. Yeah, it's survivors, but it's a card game. And at first I was like, all right, this is all right. And then once you get going, I'm like, actually, it's very fun. Like it ramps up and it's just it's a lot of fun.

So I played a lot of that. It's pretty much, I guess, a lot of the same characters from vampire survivors. But I didn't play too much of vampire survivors. Like I played and I played it so long ago. What should I play? Yeah, I played like 20 hours of vampire survivors. Yeah, you didn't play too much. Lo, la, la, la.

But yeah. I did play a game called Nomes. Speaking of Nomes from earlier By the way, I must stress The reason why I want to play vampire crawlers They saw people complaining online That it's too easy And I was like, perfect

Yes, great I wouldn't even say it's too easy There's a lot of There's some challenging bits in there Maybe once you like really get all your stuff The dudes online who are like Everything that doesn't hurt my soul is too easy So I'm here for that

Yeah, well, I like that Like the Dark Soul You know Of course they are Yeah yeah Wait so what's the Nome game. Nomes is a power defense. And it's honestly it's it's really good. So it's a turn-based. You know what? I saw this. I saw this. And I was like, yeah, this is a Crendor game. Immediately it was like Crenor, yeah, this is him.

It's a really good game. I must stress when I saw it, the art, I was like, wow, this looks really good. Mostly because there's a goblin butt on the screen and I love that. Oh yeah. But more importantly, the screenshots of the game look like pixelated nonsense which I'm like oh Credor's gonna love this Yeah so it's like there's all the little

Like elements of the land Like you have plants and desert And rocks and shit And then you set up your home and you set up Your gnomes and your gnomes are like your towers so like they can swing at everything nearby You know it's kind of like Warcraft 3 power defense

And so the goblins Will spawn and then you'll try to take them out. It'll show like a line of like this is where they're going to go, but they change every round. So you have to move your gnomes around and you can block their line with a gnome and it makes it like redirects. You can like redirect it in different ways.

There's like different types of gnome abilities. It's actually really good. So if you like old school kind of turn base tower defense rogue light type things, dude, check out gnomes. Is there like an end game

or is it just keep going and it gets harder and harder and harder and harder and harder. Well, you like progress through levels. I haven't gotten to the end game. My thing is like I never finish anything. Which, you know, it ties into my Warhammer painting too. Like all my army, I have like zero fully painted armies. My closest one's like 90%.

Understood. Yeah. Oh yeah, but hey, you know what? It's fun. I also saw Crip playing some game called like Heroes of Magic and Cards. And it looked like Slay the Spire, but. just like different and pixelated and like it had fishing in it. So I was like, dude, I got to play this game.

Oh, speaking of, I got, I think it was called like Martha's Magic or Martha's Mansion or Morta's something. I don't know. It doesn't matter. Earlier this week, I got recommended a point and click game. You know me. I love point and clicks. It reminds me of being a kid. So I was like, oh, cool, this looks really nice.

It almost looks like Maniac Mansion. It has this vibe of like old LucasArts games. And I was like, awesome. Cool, I want to play this. So anyway, I sat down to play it. And I'm going to say within 20 minutes, it was clearly a porn game. Yep, well. And I was like, why?

Is this who I am? Is this what people recommend me? And it clearly must be. Like, everything about the game seemed on the up and up when I started it. You play as these, you know, detectives going to investigate a mansion that has some sort of cultish background. and you're going to do a seance and you have to go around and collect things and combine them together do all the point and click stuff yeah there was a moment I was like wait a minute if I use these tentacles what happens oh no well it's a good thing I didn't decide to stream this I see I see um okay but then I was trying to figure it because I was like okay it's a game that's on itch it's a game that is free what is how does this person make money and why would

you do this other than just to be a pervert which I respect. However, I was like, I don't understand. I guess maybe you could have a Patreon, but it feels like, it feels like a lot of work went into this game, is what I'm saying. Maybe it is just the passion project. You know what? Of all of them to have, I guess.

But I was like, oh, all right, well that, I mean, that happened. Okay. I played that game. With that said, the point glue aspects were great. The level designs were great. But then just every once a while, it would go full on nasty and I was like oh okay

I'm right we're kind of just in that air I'd look at romanticcy and stuff right like that's oh for sure yes look dude the amount of Romanticy books that we pitched to me

as someone will be like oh yeah I'm reading this book you know they're like tell me about this like fantasy world and the princess I'm like yeah okay but then what happens like oh I mean

it's basically porn I'm like yeah all right okay I think Yeah, no, that's always has been. I'm trying to think of any other games I play. I mean, I stole Horse Girl race, of course. And I've been playing while.

I mean, listen, I've been going full while YouTube still. Like, I'm still, I'm on the YouTube grind. Yeah, I've noticed that. You don't stream as much. You go full while. And I'm here for that. I still, you know, I still do my stream. I mean, you still stream.

I'm not saying you don't. like on a relative scale you're spending more time editing videos yeah I mean for a few reasons number one I just think it's more fun uh it's just creatively fulfilling which I've talked about uh number

two is that I just I don't currently I think Twitch just kind of sucks like that's why you should go to kick dude I think you'd thrive over there that's yeah one of those live rigs and you can just walk around Chicago and like start fights Yeah, and then I can just take like 50 drugs and then go on a program where it's called like just 20, 20 whatever versus Crendor.

It changes every week. Yeah, 20 mythic wow raters versus Crendor. And I just keep going, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, you're dumb. You're stupid. You don't even know. Oh, man. That really set the tone for the week, I think. It really did.

Really set the tone for the week. Yeah. But yeah, I'm just like, it's fun to me, I think, because by doing stuff like YouTube, or I can just focus, like, everyone, I remember TB was always like, you need this, you know, variety, like you don't want to be with one game. But to me, we're in an era where YouTube actually kind of rewards focusing on one thing because. Oh, 100%. Yeah. That's like, they will say, if you look at the back end, they have those like weird videos. If anyone who has access to YouTube studio, they have these videos, they'll show every once in a while.

they're like, tips from the YouTube community. And if you watch them, they will straight up be like, what you want to do is focus on your brand. Who are you? What videos do you make? And then they'll explain that, you know, it doesn't mean you're the wow guy. But what it does mean is that if you're going to focus on something, it should be like, I'm the horror game player, or I'm the MMO game player,

or I'm the person who does rogue lights, or I'm the person who does video. essays on Disney or I'm the person who talks about, you know, all the things you can get at Sephora. Like, you want to be someone people can return to to get information about a very specific thing. And that I hate. Because I'm going to let you know right now. If you went to my channel in the last few days, I uploaded a fast and furious podcast, a

podcast about Dodger and I talking about really nothing, a video game. showcase and then the live reaction of the new trailer from Fanfest. None of that's related. It is, I am not YouTube, I can't, I'm not YouTube mate. I'm clearly a broken commodity and it's hilarious to me because I

will not change for them. I simply will not. And I know it hurts everything I do. I'm aware of it. On the back end it's noticeable. Yeah. It's like if you were, if I were to help you fix this, all right, with what I've learned in the last month.

Like you would take all of these things and just make separate YouTube channels. Like you'd have like Jesse Cox Final Fantasy, right? And then that would be all your Final Fantasy stuff. You would have like the main one just be like geekenders or you can make your own geekender thing. And then you would like. I mean, that's what you should do. And that's honestly what, you know, that's why Cox clips exist. That's where all the Let's Play stuff are.

That's why the Star Wars old kind of book club has its own thing. Like I absolutely understand what you're supposed to do. but I at this point am not going to do it I just don't care and I would rather do what I do and YouTube can piss right off because

what ends up happening every time is if you make a bunch of different channels whatever one blows up the most is the one you focus on and the other ones die off every time yeah well you start spreading yourself too thin at that point

but I mean even if you just made like a final fantasy channel and that was like a final fantasy but the same time then like you know like you're how many final fantasy things are you making like is it even worth? Exactly. It would be like once every so often and would make no sense to have a second channel.

But by having it on one channel no one's expecting it to pop up. Someone does pop up. People like, what the hell is this? There's no winning when you try to do multiple different things. There just isn't. But if you focus on one thing and then it dies off, for example, you end up like all those Final Fantasy people who, when it exploded, their numbers blew up and they got more and more views and money than they ever seen before. And then when it fell off again, they lost everything and some of them genuinely lost their minds. And I mean that in the nicest way possible where they end up on

kick like full on next level grifting, doing like insane things. And you're like, what, what happened? Yeah. What do you mean? ultimate way to if you're like everything's failing and you're crashing out is you just become a drama news channel that focuses on other YouTuber streamers or politics and you just go like what did she say with a giant like streamer in the thumbnail and then it gets like 100,000 views yeah yeah look for as much as I want to talk about how all week maybe the last two weeks there have been so many streamers caught up in like botting scams and allegations and stuff. I just don't care.

I'm like, yeah, no, of course there have been. People been doing that. People are like, I don't understand how this stream sponsored by AT&T could have so many views but not any chatter. I'm like, does AT&T paid for that? Yep. They're paying for the views. They're botting.

Yeah. No, that's why most of these streams are botting that are higher up. Yeah. Like the fact that people are like, no one. talks in this girl's chat, but like she's got 12,000 people because it's fake, because it's fake guys, and got her.

She's still going to keep doing it. All these people are going to keep doing it because the ad money and the brand deals see 12,000 and they don't care if they're real or not. It's some dude who's working at a desk somewhere, it's like, there's 12,000 people watching.

Yeah. No, that's honestly my problem with it is that it's hurting people like us, because they're just like boosting their own thing and then they're taking away like sponsors and ad things so it like hurts people below them especially like medium sized streamers or whatever how long have we been doing this though for 16 plus years yeah it has always been the go to thing for advertisers not to look for people that are in their demo who would buy their game or buy their product it's just about we showed the ad to a million people rather than we showed the

add to 50,000 who would actually buy the product. I mean, yeah, absolutely. They don't care. It's like the laziest, I don't know what happened to Mad Men or whatever, but it's some lazy shit going on over there. Yeah. Like, you would think they would focus more on like the interaction

of people, you know, clicking on links or actually buying the thing or like, you know, no. There's like view big, number big me pick that. But I think the problem is it's gotten more prevalent, right? It's easier to bot now than it was even like. 10 years ago. The fact that there are websites that are literally advertised, like, hey, go do this, buy this thing, get this thing. It's crazy. I don't understand. Yeah. I will say, at least with YouTube, they've recently started cracking down on the AI and like shitty videos. And now there's a bunch of people being like, my faceless AI channels demonetized. And it's just like, they're all freaking out. Oh no. Like, oh no. So now YouTube now does a thing where it's like, your content is seemingly pumped out at a, you.

very fast rate without any creativity so we've demonetized you and they're just like what? This is unbelievable. So that's at least nice. Yeah, what a shame. I feel so bad. But yeah, that's why it's just like

it's, I just hate that because streaming like so now when I stream like I was mentioning before it's just kind of like I'm like let's just play a fun game. Let's just do what I want. I'll play some Pokemon. And that's that. Yeah. It feels good to be at that place and just do whatever.

However, I do recognize that it's like not the strategy. Anytime anyone asks me what to do, I'm like, don't do that shit. Yeah. Well, it's, again, that's one of the worst parts about being a streamer, right? It's like all the people you mentioned where it's like, I do final fantasy streams or like, I do this. And then when the viewers drop, it's like, what do we do now? You know, that's... And then it determines, like, if you love Final Fantasy, for example, but you're not getting the views you want, you feel obligated to do something else.

and that I think hurts because a lot of people want to play the thing they love but they can't because they're like well you know I used to get a thousand viewers on this

but now I only get 300 and that's you know I have rent to pay yep and it ruins the fun of what you're doing so suddenly you're just following trends and then it slowly kills you inside yep and then you start being like that one guy

who's like guys if we don't get 10 subs I'm gonna shut the stream off all right I'm gonna do it yeah it's not It's not on the people watching you to pay your bills, my dude. Yeah. So that's why, at least on YouTube.com, I can be like,

how long did I survive in IRL Wow zones and being like, you know? And I just have fun with that. I wanted to bring something up to you that I think is absolutely insane. And it is YouTuber adjacent. So this, this is, you know, it's a thing. All right. I was at Starbucks.

So before I went down to Fan Fest, stopped at Starbucks to get a drink on the road, and walked inside and they're at the counter. You know how they have Starbucks gift cards, right? Yep. I don't know if you've seen this, and I ask you politely to go to a Starbucks and check in your area. But here they have Starbucks, Beast Games, Amazon Prime Original, mystery Starbucks cards. What the shit Limited edition

Mystery Mr. Beast Starbucks card What's inside? Open to reveal One of five exclusive Beast Games designs Now I don't know if that means It's just a card That you then load money onto Or if you open it

And there's a certain amount of money on that card Yeah, that's I'm going to assume it's the first one But I don't know why anyone would buy that to begin with. Yeah. Who wants to roll into their Starbucks with a Mr. Beast branded card that they purposely bought and put money on? Probably children. I don't think children are like, you know what, Mom?

Take me to Starbucks for the Mr. Beast card. And then I'd like to get a caramel macchiato. I don't think that's happening. I actually do think it's happening. I think you're vastly underestimating it. Clearly I am. I mean, I think if anything, Starbucks has probably gotten more popular with kids where they're just like, here's sugary drinks with caffeine.

And then the parents are just like, I'm going to Starbucks. So I give it to my kid. And then the kids like, I watch Mr. Beast. It's Mr. Beast. It's Mr. Beast. Then they're just like, all right, whatever. And then they get their Mr. Beast card. It's so jarring too because, as you know, the branding for Starbucks is like green and white and maybe a little black.

These cards are bright, blue, and white And they're massive. These are massive cards. I assume you open it and there's a little card on the inside, but it's like gift card size almost. Seems like a waste of paper, but Mr. Beast don't care, clearly. He doesn't care. I found it.

Oh, wait here, Mr. B, Starbucks Mystery Gift Card game. I open nine cards to complete the set. is you complete the set? That's... What do you... So it's like a loopbox? Yes, it's there's... It's a loopbox situation.

Yeah, I mean, I'm clicking... I'm just clicking on like an image thing of people had got them. And it's just people being like, I just found these or like, influencer people being like, can I get all five Beast Game Starbucks gift cards? Like that type of thing.

I mean, yeah, you can. If you spend the money. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I watched people, it's actually insane the amount of people that underestimate the amount of like psychoanalysis that Mr. Beast doesn't do literally everything that he creates. Yeah. Oh, like one of the most shrewd business people I've ever seen. Oh yeah. It's like like the colors. Like the way everything's designed. Like I was I was watching a thing of his thumbnail artist.

And the way his thumbnail artist just breaks down everything is like they're just like, yeah, we make like 500. thumbnails and then we'll like test them in our own algorithm. Then we test them in the YouTube algorithm. Then we'll like change specific colors. We'll change the way things look like little tweaks, little like text designs. We're like we don't like the way that lines up over that. Like it's insane the amount of just effort and everything that goes into it. But they're they're like that crazy about it. Which I guess you know, if you're that rich, it doesn't really matter. You can do it. And it's not like like normal. Oh, I outsource it. Look, I don't want to call it cult like, but it is as close

as you can get without being a cult. Because everyone who works for him lives on a compound. That is actually insane. One of my, one of the old editors who used to work way back when

for some maker stuff, ended up working for him and he had to move him and his wife out to this compound and he lived there. It's like some Scientology shit or something. I'm telling you. I, it's, I, And I think, again, because you know that he like social engineer stuff.

I genuinely believe, and again, no evidence for it, but this is what I believe, that he does this because when you live on this kind of compoundy thing, you one, feel like you're part of community. So you're all working a little harder. Two, you're kind of cut off from everyone else. So all you have is work. And three, he has full supervision over you. Absolutely. Yeah, I think so. it's it seems like he's definitely a control freak he's probably like just because i mean just from

seeing the way he works on all this shit like he's definitely a control freak plus you've seen him like there's been stories and like things of him you know coming out being like he's not good to work for he's like crazy he's like you know but the thing is i want to know what is his dating life-like. Because the vibe I get is he's a little like American psycho. Yeah. When they showed his room

at the office and he has like a bedroom in the office, I was like, no, this is a little American psycho. That's where he kills people. Like, this is wild. Yeah. That's I didn't even see his room. Hold on. Because he doesn't, he has the same vibe

genuinely as the rock. And that his outward persona is one of like I'm hyper wholesome and I don't even think about like sex. It's not a thing I'm sure. I don't talk you know it's like all I do is work out and make videos like very rockish. Yeah. And it's like that can't be that can't be real. Who's the Mr. Robot rich guy? It's like Tyrell. Oh yes, yes, yes. I know exactly you're talking about. I can see the guy's like Bonsoir, Elliot. Yes, him.

I can see him kind of like that. Like, he's got some weird shit. He'll just like, he's got like some weird things. He's like, I paid a woman a million dollars to rub her feet on my head. And she had to do it right. But at least I'd understand that. At least I'd be like, look, he's got the money. He can do whatever he wants.

And he's that kind of young asshole vibe of like, I can buy anyone at any time. I would get that. But this, I genuinely believe that he was like, no, no, that money can be better spent on convincing some guy to live in a shopping center until all the food is gone. I think that's where he's, and that's crazy to me. I was like, what is your life other than like, how can I get the pores to entertain each other? But the thing is, he does donate the charity, right? And that's...

I mean, monsters have always donated to charity. That's what I mean. It's a tax right off. You can still be diabolical and donate to charity. Yeah, I meant that more is like a, he's got to be good, right? Right, right, right. No, he's got to be. He's got to be.

Which, like, in the grand scheme of things, you know, it's good that the charities are getting money, which is better than normal rich people that, like, barely donate. But at the same time, it's very much a, like, you know, a card you can put into your pocket of, like, this guy did a bad thing. And it's like, I donated a million. dollars to charity and they're like well he is a good guy right it's like that type of

dude the amount of that I've seen over the years especially from YouTubers who are like I did a bad thing but in order to make you forget about it I'm going to donate to charity and you're like mm-hmm yep no it's it's very much especially if you're rich already and you're just like how do I look good and get people off my back and they're just like give money to the orphans of cancer whatever they're just like all right And then they'll do that and be like, okay, can I let's like go back to what I was doing now? I mean, that's literally the reason why parks and hospitals and wings of, you know, libraries or whatever are named after rich people. Because they were like, well, we'd have to donate a lot of money to make this problem go away.

Why don't we build a hospital? Yeah. The people will love us because we're taking care of them. And they'll forget the fact that we killed all those hookers. Yeah. It's, it sucks. but, you know, at least it gets stuff done. Yeah, I mean, at least you can collect all six Starbucks cards.

Yeah, you can collect them like the whatever stone. I was going to say the Arkinstone, that's the Hobbit. The Infinity Stones? The Infinity Stones. The Arkinstones. Get out of here. Get out of here, you nerd. Actually.

So, yeah, this all boils down to I've enjoyed YouTube, but for my own reason of I've enjoyed, you know, You know how most like YouTubers with like wow or stuff are just like, the game is awesome right now. The game is terrible right now. Blizzard's great. Blizzard sucks as, right? It's just like back and forth with that. I'm just like, listen, man, I'm here to talk about whether I could survive in real life in Ungoro Crater.

And the answer is no. I'd probably die in less than an hour. Oh, you would die instantly. You wouldn't make it there because the road to Angoro is filled with giant bugs that would eat you alive. Exactly. So like in my- You would die in Teneris. Yeah.

You wouldn't even, you wouldn't make it there. Yeah. So, like, I recently made a video called Wow Zones. I'd visit in real life and avoid. And then I thought, like, man, there's a lot of dangers in all these zones. So now I made a video called how long you'd survive in IRL Wow zones where I was like, Goro less than an hour. But I was like Stormwind or Elwyn Forest, you have Stormwind, right?

You could get there. You could live for years. So I was like years. I was like Duratar? Like, you go to Orgamar. But, like, I would say months. Maybe years if you're lucky because some orc guy would have like, his wolf and then his wolf would be like

and just run over and kill you and he'd be like like zog zog and just like keep going like you'd have some more chaotic shit going on so I just I go through all the zones and do that I did like wow classes ranked by whether I'd want to be them in real life you know and then I'm out here making top

10 you know best zone transitions so like that's why I'm here I'm here for like I'm here for the fun like what I've realized is I just love the world of Warcraft though I like the world part. Stop it. I just love the world

of Warcraft. I love the world. And so that's kind of just what I've been focusing on. It's been great. And I think that's why I've been loving it so much. I don't have to be like, this new wow patch really isn't up to standard.

I'm just like, I don't give a shit. Here's like 97 pointless wow facts. So, yeah, it's been fun. But you know what else is fun? Hero. Forge, if you're saying to yourself, man, I want to know what I should be if I was trapped in a RPG situation, Hero Forge can create that token for you of your character. Whether you be, I don't know, warrior or a paladin or a...

Mage? No, no one wants to be a mage. What? Hero Forge offers you fully customizable tabletop miniatures to be any of those things, except why would you be a mage? or you could be any fantasy species and maybe, you know, then you could be a mage. Human mage? Trash.

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And then HeroForge can even add something you create into their dice maker. If you want to die for your next D&D session and it's for your health rolls, you can make a little health potion one. You can make one for your weapon, for your damage. You can do all sorts of different stuff. They're awesome. You can choose any number, size, color, etc. polyhedral options from regular to Xl size, D20s come in both a standardized layout and a counter,

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Again, we are. When you come to see us, we are using Square. A great thing is one, you can get the hardware, right, where you can stick a little thing in your phone, you can get a little box that will do it all for you, or your phone itself with the Square app can become the third. thing that people pay on. Square makes it so easy. I was shocked, genuinely shocked. You get

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you run your business with confidence and clarity. And again, not all the chaos. It's easier than ever to get started. So why wait? Right now, again, you can get up to $200 off square hardware at square.com slash go slash cox. Again, square.com slash go slash cox. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. All right, let's go to chapter 7th, guys, and square outside traffic out there. Oh my God, the traffic. Well, it's still bad. And it's, you know, not getting any better. It's the summertime. Well, it's not summertime. It's the springtime going into summer. prices are way up, but people are still out there. It feels like there's more and more cars on the road, as we've talked about before. It's just people keep showing up. It's like they're just spawning. Shitty drivers just keep spawning all over the place. You gotta watch out for those. They gotta find the spawn points.

Back to you. It's like GTA up in here. It is. They just spawn to existence and run you down. Then they just go, hey, whoop-be- Oh my god, speaking of which, did you see that there's apparently a streamer was trying to walk across the country? Oh yeah, I saw you got hit by car. Yeah, you got hit by a car. I was like, oh my God. That is, that's the thing.

I would not trust any drivers if I was doing that. I would be like, I'm going to get in. Especially if you're streaming because you know already there are people out there. I'd be worried because you see those people who stream do like live streams where they're just walking around and then Randos come up to them and try to fight them because they're on stream and they think it's going to be funny. Oh, yeah. I would absolutely assume some guy would think be funny to hit me. Yeah.

It's without a I just would. I would assume someone would do it on purpose. Yeah. It's you never know. Plus they're they're probably like, I did it for the content. No, I got content.

Yes. Like I'm the one who hit him. They call me Jesse Slayer 69. I knew he'd show up. Like yeah, that's. Yeah, chat would be like, no,

that's what you call a stream sniper. We love kick TV. Because they would definitely be on kick. Well, for sure. Yeah. Jesse Slayer 69 is not going to make it on Twitch. That's for sure.

Yeah, no doubt. So yeah, that's bad traffic. All right. Let's go to weather. All right. Here we go. Weather is... It's still going.

I don't know why I keep doing this where it just keeps going. Weather request. Waterford City County, Waterford, Ireland, most known for our famous crystal and a very specific type of bread roll called a blah, usually filled with red lead. Lead? What? No what that is. Lead lead. Oh, yeah, Waterford crystals. Oh, interesting. Let's see. Waterford Weather, Ireland. Currently, it is 53 degrees Fahrenheit. We got three miles an hour wind. Humidity 94%. UV index zero. Air quality, 44, 2.8 miles of visibility,

29.85 inches of pressure. 51 on the dew point. Sunrise, 556 a.m., sunset, 8.56 p.m. and the moon is a full moon. Feels like 53 currently, but the 10 day. Sunday, 55 with showers, Monday 58 p.m. showers. Tuesday, 56, cloudy. Wednesday, 55. Mostly cloudy. Thursday, 55 p.m. showers.

Friday, 55. Mostly cloudy. Saturday, 55 showers. Sunday, 56 showers. And Monday, 58. Farly cloudy. It appears to be a lovely town. Just by looking at it.

It's on the river. Everything's very cute. However, I must stress, I was immediately distracted. If you've been attracted to something where you just know that's where you belong in your soul, there's a place called Ruby Lounge and Kitchen and Monaco Tom's bar. And I want to go to Monaco Tom's so badly. That does sound like a place you do belong in. Yeah, I want to go to Monaco Tom's.

It doesn't particularly look like. the fanciest thing. It looks like kind of just bar food. And some of it not that great. There's one photo of chicken wings and chips. And those chips do not look cooked at all. I don't know what that's supposed to be, but I don't like it. They also have what appears to be nachos and it's not the most appetizing nachos. In fact, most of the food looks mediocre at best. But I just want to go to Monaco Tom's. You can't name your thing, Monica Tombs and not have me roll in there. Yeah, that's... That's almost like a, that truly is a magnet for you.

Like it's dragging you there just through the, I want to go to Monaco Tom's. It's, honestly, I think Monaco Tom would have Monkey Mondays. Of course it would. You know they would. If it was allowed in Ireland,

you know they would have it. Yeah. No doubter. I mean, you're, you got, you're part Irish. That's probably where your ancestors went. Yeah, I mean, it isn't in court county, which is where we're from, but like, it's close.

It's close enough. Yeah. Someone from your family probably was from there. Went there and opened Monaco, Tom. Yeah, yeah. Monaco Tom Cox, of course. Um, let's see. We got most of what I'm seeing, though, dude, is like, uh, chip shops, fried food places. I'm trying to find like the fancies things, I don't think this is a fancy town. There's a Rob and Steve's confectioners. That's kind of fancy, but like not fancy fancy. There's a place called La Vita Loca outside town that is a Mexican place. But the tacos look great.

The meat looks great. Everything looks great except again. UK and Ireland. We need to talk about your chip situations. The chips look like they just came from a bag. And it's not hard to make chips. They're literally just corn tortillas, fry those things. Yeah.

Yeah, what, like. They got La Vita Loca hot sauces. I kind of would love to try this place. It is out, it's south of the city, on the way to the Waterford Airport and or Tramor. And it is like on the side of the road and it's a shack, dude. In fact, it's several shacks. Several shacks. Is this a park of shacks?

Dude, it is Oh, yo, I love this Oh, shack park It's a shack park There's a coffee place There's an Indian place There's Lovita Loca And there's an enterprise car and van

Oh, I love this place Yeah, it's like You know, in Japan There's those little rest stops Where there's a bunch of vending machines Mm-hmm Same vibe except it's little shacks And they all have different food

Oh my God, yeah, it is really cool I love this. This is better than anything I've seen in the city. It really is. And that's the weather. Oh, right. Let's go to sports. Sports.

We've got sports. All right. Let's see here. We've got, oh, apparently it's Derby Day. Kentucky Derbyes today. 152nd running. Oh, the old Kentucky Derby. Yes.

All the Derby hats are out. All the old latest are like, oh, I'm like the queen. Yep, that's all these random celebrities wearing hats. Yeah. I was remember there's that one Jessica Simpson reality show where she went to the Kentucky Derby. Oh, I do remember. Let's see, hold on. Let me see some of these horse names because now I'm all like Uma-Musa-made name.

Pown-a-Sour. And the horses are. We got Renegade, Albanyard. Albus intrepidot litmus test That's see that's a good name That's fun

Yeah commandment Uh Dane and Bourbon So happy That's a good one That's a good one That's a good one And I think that

That one is from Japan It's a trainer Isake Takay Yanagi We got Incredible Bolt that's a good one that's fun but it needs I always feel like horses

need to have two names you know what I mean yeah that's true like chief wallaby there's there you go that's a good one yeah let's see any other good ones here

uh everyone else is kind of whatever there's six speed emerging market golden tempo now I think I think Chief Wallaby and Wonder Dean

Chief Wallaby's a good name for a horse I like that horse a lot. That is pretty good. So yeah, there's your horses. I'm sure a boring one will win. Let's see. Then we got the NBA playoffs occurring.

Currently, the Thunder and the Lakers move on to take on each other. Then the Timberwolves and the Spurs will play each other. The other side, we got the Knicks taking on probably the Celtics, although it's kind of all in the air. There's three game sevens. Only a Knicks have moved on.

We got Pistons, Magic, Cavs, Raptors, Celtics, 76ers all in game seven. So that's to be crazy. Then in hockey, we got the avalanche in the wild moving on from round one, round one to take on each other. And then the Golden Knights and the Ducks will play each other in the second round. Then we got the hurricanes and the flyers moving on to the second round. And then the Buffalo Sabres move on and they will take on. Yep, still in it.

They'll take on either the Lightning or the Canadians, which doesn't matter. Go Sabres. And then in baseball, we currently got... Base a ball. The Yankees in first, the guardians in first, the athletics in first, the Braves in first, the Cubs in first, and the Dodgers in first. And that is sports. All right, what is our fact of the day?

Fact of the day, fact of the day. Fact of the day. People who eat... eat whatever they want and stay slim, have a slow metabolism, not fast. It says, a skinny person tends to have less muscle mass than others, meaning their basal metabolic rate, basal metabolic rate is lower than those of a high muscle mass. This gives them a slow metabolism, not a fast one. So you would think the idea of people who don't gain weight have fast metabolism, but what they're

saying is that the people who don't get weight, because they don't have a lot of stuff going on, they just... I'm not sure I understand. I'm not sure I understand either. It says, The metabolic process is by which our bodies turn food and drink into energy we need for life. Often scientists talk about metabolism

in the context of the body's energy use over the course of a day, which is called metabolic rate. The more energy expended, the higher the metabolic rate. It follows then that people with fast metabolism, are those that burn through a lot of energy in one day. Majority of energy we get from food is used by the body simply to keep us alive. Living is costly and we need energy to stay warm, fight off invading pathogens, pump blood, etc. The energy requirements of these fundamental tasks are often referred to as our BMR,

and our BMR accounts for 60 to 80% of our total energy expenditure in a given day. For most of us, physical activity accounts for 15 to 30% of the daily energy. expenditure. A small percentage of energy is put towards energy harvesting itself powering our digestion. One of the biggest components of BMR is the energy demands of muscle cells. Compared to other cells, muscles are much more active, needing energy to contract and relax, repair themselves against daily wear and tear, and the more muscle a person has, the higher their BMR. This brings us back to our skinny friend who can eat whatever their heart desires. They will generally have less muscle mass, and so their BMR will be able to bemen

be lower, giving them a slower metabolism. People who weigh more will have more cells of all types, including muscle cells, making their body's daily energy demands higher and giving them a higher metabolic rate or fast metabolism. I'm okay. I feel like there's something I'm missing there, but like okay. Well it says also, but weight on its own isn't a reliable factor or indicator for metabolic rate because two people who both weigh the same can have vastly different muscle mass, and physical appearance is no better. They're visibly skinny people who will have more muscle mass

and very little body fat like Olympic medalists and professional dancers and thus have a higher BMR overall. So why is our friend so slim? It could be inherited genetics, small impact on BMR, or they can be leading an active lifestyle, unbalanced diet,

or they may be eating less when they're away from your company. Yeah, so I think I kind of understand, but I still don't understand. Yeah, we're just, In the comments, because I think what it's saying is because they are so thin that their body's trying to, like, you know, keep as much as it can because, you know, by being so thin, the more the body uses up, the faster they'll just, like, you know, run out of energy, right? As a baseline. Yeah. Well, it's like your body, because you're thin, has less cells in general.

so there's less like for your body to put energy pores. Sure, sure. And I think the thing before that was because they're so thin it meant the body was using energy a lot and so you could eat a lot and not gain weight because your body was rolling through that energy, but this is saying that's not the case. So I'm asking where does the energy go? Uh, yeah, I don't know. If you're in putting all that energy, but your body's not you're you're putting all that energy, but your body's not, you're not, you're, you're, but your body's not, you're, you're, you're, but you're, you're, but you're, but you're not, you're. using it, where does it go? Yeah, I actually don't know. Someone in the comments explain it like we're five.

Let us know what you, let us know. Yeah, please. Where's Dr. John? Someone explained this. Yeah, somebody explained it. So there's your fact of the day that we don't understand. Yeah, all right. Let's go to those with tears in their eyes.

We got some tears. We p. Here we go. We got tears. Yippee. Kaii. Um, beep,

beep, beep, we have landed on. Your lustry sirs, they come to with tears of my eyes with a bear at my side. Whoa.

If you could have an arm wrestling contest with any celebrity, who would it be? Any celebrity? Yep. Uh, I feel like the whole point of this is to get the celebrity

in the room with you. I just feel like the plan isn't whether to win or not. The plan is that, this celebrity has to touch you and be close enough to do this with you, right? I mean, if that's what you're going to. I mean, that's the way I'm seeing it. So I would say Christina Hendricks for Mad Men.

And I'm not going to go in any more detail there. See, I was going to go with like Gordon Ramsey because I thought it'd be funny. Or like your arm wrestling him and he got like a buildup and he's just like bloody hell. No, you have fun with that. Yeah. You hear your whole thing. I'll be over here with Christina. The whole point is like the goofy interaction.

It's like Crendor interacts with Gordon Ramsey and he's just. like, you fucking donkey, I'm going to slam your arm into the table. And you're just like, Gordon, I'm not going to let you do that. I'm going to win. And then it's just like this intense, you know, buildup. And then he clearly would win because Gordon, no, dude, mine's the same. Mine's absolutely, it's like Christina Hendrix and Jesse.

And then they fall in love and get married. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Same thing. Yeah. So there we go. Yep. All right. Next, dear illustrious, sir.

Do you. Dear Lustry, sirs, I come to you with tears in my eyes and a tiny rat controlling my cooking. Like in ratatooie. Right, no, just like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What animal would be controlling you and for what skill set? That's a tough one, because there's options here. I would say it would kind of be fun if suddenly I was able to sew really well and like knit sweaters.

And people are like, how are you doing this? And then I reveal there's like a little spider on my head. That would be pretty fun. I like that. Yeah, what would be? Trying to think of what skill set I would want. Because maybe, well, like,

because it's like, would I want to be good at it for a little bit or for a long time? Because I was thinking, like, I could do like math and stuff. Like, because how long will that creature last? That's a good point. Yeah.

And how long will they like? Let me like something like writing or drawing would be kind of fun But what would be good at writing and drawing? A human? Do you want a human on your head? No. What animal would be good to writing and draw? It's got to be something. Hey, humans are animals, I'm just saying. No, no, no, no, no. I guess monkeys. You like a monkey?

You can help you draw. You want a monkey on your head? Well, it says monkeys are going to draw. Who says this? the internet. You know what? There you go. All right. Never mind. I mean, I could always just have a sloth on my head. Yeah, no, it's fine. That checks out.

It would all make sense. Like, man, he's going slow. What does he got a sloth on his head? He's already like a sloth anyway. Do you think that's what people would be like, that guy's going slow. Does he have a slop on his head? That's, you know, that's probably what I would want them to think, but they'd probably be like, this guy's a bumace. Right. Well, of course.

Um, I don't know. That's a, that's a interesting. question, but I guess you know, monkey would make sense, but then again I think the sloth is pretty fun. I'd say one of those.

A monkey or sloth? Good answer, good answer. Yep. And that's your dear illustrious sirs. Okay, what is our big news story of the day? Big new story of the day of the day.

So let's see. I found one crazy one we're going to do, but I did read that millionaire US big game hunter trampled by elephants while hunting antelope in Africa was a story. So that's good. Uh-huh. I mean, that can happen if you're going to do that kind of thing.

Listen, if you're big game hunting, don't be surprised when you become the hunted. Yeah, when the big game hunts back. Yeah. That's why I only speak to small game hunting. That's like a Nick Cage movie or something We already had one title I'm pretty sure it was

Wasn't it the one where he was on the boat And the leopard got loose? Yeah, I think it was. And he was like, I'm a big game hunter I'm pretty sure that was a movie already Yeah, I think so. We watched it. We did.

It was not good. No, it was bad. But then we found shirtless Boston man forced teen to eat Gushers' candy in restaurant bathroom, police report says. I have so many questions. This is the story.

Yep. Boston. A man was arrested in charge after he allegedly coerced a child to eat gushers inside a restaurant bathroom and followed that child to a nearby playground. Ronald Johns. Whoa. Whoa.

Would you like drug the gusher? Like, what the hell is that happening? I have questions and I'm afraid this is the story's going to be, going to get dark. I'm afraid it's going to get dark. But all right, please continue.

Ronald Johns, 34, that's a name, was inside a 99 restaurant, restroom. 99 restaurant. The hell? I don't know what that is.

That sounds Boston enough. Yeah. In Charlestown, Massachusetts on March 21st when he encountered a 13-year-old boy, Johns was allegedly not wearing a shirt when the boy entered the restroom and was seen holding an unopened box

of gushers candy according to the police report. Stop. Stop. Stop. This man went into the bathroom shirtless and we're just waiting around for someone to come in and be like, you want some gushers? Imagine you're just like... Is that what this is? Is that what this is? He unopened box not like a pack of gushers.

A full on box of gushers. Dude, imagine you're just like you're just a kid, right? You're just like, man, this sucks. I got like homework later. Like, now I'm with my family. My dad's yelling about some shit. I just got to go pee and you walk in as just a man with his shirt off holding gusher

and he's like hey what one of these like just here's the problem I think as a 13 year old and as a 40 year old I would be like yeah sure man I love gusher well

you're right because after refusing the gusher several times the boy reluctantly ate one before he exited the restaurant John's then you know you know that's so awkward with the guys like hey you have you want some gushers.

The kid's like, no, thank you. And he's trying to pee. And he's like, are you sure you don't want any of these delicious gushers? It's gummy candy. And on the inside, when you bite into it, it's got a juic car. And he's like, no, I'm just, I just want to pee. He's like, are you sure I can't answer to you? They're the sour cod.

He's like, no, I'm okay. He's like, are you sure? The kid's like, fine. Oh, my God. Yes, just give me one. Yeah. That is. he has to be on drugs or something, right?

I don't know what this is, but if I went into any men's room and there was a shirtless guy, I'd already be on edge. It doesn't matter if they have gushes or not. Yeah, I'd be like, nope, don't like this. Johns then allegedly followed the boy who was at the restaurant with some of his friends to a nearby playground. There, Johns repeatedly attempted to interact with the group of children, despite their request for him to leave. them alone. The parents of one of the children who was with the 13 year old boy notified police about the alleged unusual interaction. It is unusual. Police then located Johns, who became instantly verbally aggressive with officers claiming that the children were bothering.

You got to eat these gushers, officers. Eat these gushers. Sir, we don't want put the gushers down, sir. Are you sure you don't? They've got juices centers. Sir, put down the gushers. Now, I paid for them. They're my gusher.

He claimed the children were bothering him. Right, right, right, right. What they're saying, quote, I didn't touch nobody or nothing. I don't have no drugs or no weapons. I didn't do anything bad, bro. I swear, Johns allegedly said. What's next?

Johns was arraigned on charges of kidnapping of a child and accosting or annoying another person on April 15th. And he set the pier in Zoom court via May 13th. I feel like one of those is a much worse charge than the other. He was arrested for kidnapping and annoying someone. Yeah, it was annoying another person or, you know, actual kidnapping. Right. The backstory. Johns has an extensive criminal history, of course, spanning a.

across several states, including Georgia, New York, Virginia, North Carolina. Oh, my accent's making a little more sense now. I love gushers. His charges for those previous incidents include forcible touching, burglary, assault, and battery, sexual abuse, criminal obstruction of breathing or blood circulation, criminal trespassing, public indecency, and criminal possession of a weapon with intent to use.

Yeah, no, yeah, yeah. This all sounds, none of this is surprising to me. Again, again, if you ever enter a bathroom and there's a shirtless man in there, know that that is a, that's, no one normal is doing that. Yeah, absolutely not. There's not a normal bone in that person's body. If you're shirtless in the public bathroom. It's just not, that's not no.

Expect that person to be a criminal of some sort. Oh, yeah. Plus, not only shirtless, but the gushers. If you walk into a bathroom and someone's offering you gushers in a bathroom, that's also just not good. Honestly, that should be a crime in itself. If you offer gushers to someone in a bathroom, you should be arrested. Or just, I stand on this. If you ever offer a gusher to anyone in any circumstance, you should be arrested. Really?

Yeah, as a fan of gushers, I agree. You don't want to share gushers. you open that pack there half of them are stuck together. What I'm saying is no sane person shares gushers. You just don't do that. Yeah. There we go. That is the big news story of the day.

All right. Well, that's it for us. Thanks so much for listening and watching. I enjoy this podcast. Crandor, hit them with the socials. Folks, we got socials. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. All one word.

That's where you can find all of these fine podcasts and subscribe. hit the bell, leave your weather request, leave your dear illustrious sir requests. You might get them answered on this show. Also, YouTube.com slash Cox and Crenlore for all the animations. Also, we're on Spotify, Spotify, iTunes, SoundCloud, others, wherever you get podcasts. Also, we have our own things. YouTube.com, Jesse Cox, where you want to see a variety of random, nothing that makes sense. thrown up there or YouTube.com slash Crendor if you want to see Pointless Wow stuff.

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To be continued.