Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 507- Florida Man's Bag of Sugar

Episode Date: May 17, 2026

The boys are back and this time Jesse watched a movie happen in real life at a concert - but then also saw a guy up his own butt. That's Hollywood baby! Meanwhile Crendor has some concerns over Jesse's work life, but then we learn about yotta years, and time seems to have no meaning anymore. Especially in Florida where no matter what year it is, Florida man is working over time to create the craziest stories around. Invincible VS is out now on PlayStation, Xbox, and PC. Come see us live! https://lh-st.com/shows/08-22-2026-chilluminati-cox-n-crendor-live/

Today's episode's brought to you by Invincible Verses available right now. We'll talk about it later. Also, Cox and Crenor live, reminder to get your tickets, they're almost gone. I'm going to keep saying it. And then one day I'm going to be like, they're gone. Y'all, they're gone. So please click the link in the description. If you'd like to join us, August 22nd in Chicago.

Hello, everybody. It's time for Cawcant Crendog. In the morning. In the morning. Rockcastle live, live, live, live. Before our reporting studio is recorded. Wait your ass up. It's up, Gak, Brendan, the morning.

Everybody wants to say to a lot of Jackson Crendar in the morning. Uh, yes, another grand old time. Is the grand old time you and I together again, or is it a promise of a good episode? I would never promise a good episode All right, so implication-wise, just you and I being together is a grand old time. Yeah, exactly. And sometimes there results in a good episode,

sometimes there results in some terrible episodes. It'll always be a grand episode. It'll always be a grand old time. Right. It's like the grand old opera, remember that? You know what? I do. My grandmother loved it.

I think my grandparents also liked it, but I never really watch. it would just... Neither did I. Dude, same boat. I'm aware of its existence. I know family members who loved it. I have not an idea what occurred on that.

Couldn't tell you. Yeah, I figured they were just like country singing. There's plenty of shows like that back in the day. Not for me, though. Yeah, definitely not for me. I did not care about it. Yeah, no, I wasn't watching that. I think I brought it up once before.

My dad loved the Lawrence Welk show. Still does. Yeah, I just, I got nothing for you on that. It's one of those references that it's like when my dad tries to reference a movie from 1965 and I'm like, dude, I got nothing. I can't help you. Yeah, and he'll be like, you remember Lawrence Welk, right? And I'm like, no, not at all.

He's like, yeah, you know, you remember him. I'm like, sure. How's your week and or weekend? Yeah, I spend most of the week working mostly so that I could spend the weekend. Not working. It's my birthday on Monday. So I wanted to do a bunch of stuff this weekend before I had to go back to work. And everything picks up before Summer Games Fest.

So, yeah, I busted my butt this week. But then Friday went to a concert at the Palladium here in Los Angeles in Hollywood. To see The Midnight, I love that band. It was a great show. With that said, I am aware now that I observe people maybe a little too much. I think this show started that But I noticed stuff What I probably should be

And would be better off being oblivious Some of it's great Some of it is disturbing I'll give you two examples Before the concert started There was like this blonde girl She was kind of by herself When I say she looked like a movie character

I really mean it But in like a romantic comedy kind of way Where she was dressed up pretty nice but by herself she had her bag and she had a drink in her hand but she was holding it in that way where she's kind of like also holding herself you know what I mean

and she's swaying to the music that's playing but there's no bands on stage yet it's just there's music playing and she's you know swaying and looking kind of like wistful and I look over up like y'all that girl

she's here alone and she's looking she's looking for love watch it happen and she hopes tonight's the night. And when I say the midnight is the band for that kind of thing, I really mean it. A lot of the music is like something you would play in your car in the city at night. It's that kind of vibe. They have a great saxophone player.

It's that kind of music. Not 10 minutes later. She's walking over to some guy who looks like the best way to describe him is elder emo. Is that like Brother Beards rival? I mean, it might be But just imagine a guy Who Dresses like he's still 14

And mad at his parents But is clearly in his 30s Okay, I can like an elder emo Like he has the hair, he has everything But he just looks older It's like that guy that's like Oh, I'm like still looking like I'm 19 But he's like 40 and he just

Still looks 40 just weird Yes, except this guy I don't think he's trying to look younger I just think that's He is who he is. Anyway, she walks up to him. And everyone looked at me and I was like, I told you. I told you.

She walks up to him and they start talking and flirting. And he gives her his number. And I was like, we're watching a real life meet cute. This is happening right now. She's living her Hollywood dream. And then the two of them go off together. And I was like, yo, let's go. I was like, yeah, my elder emo, let's go.

And it was very cute. I enjoyed every bit of that. I got my own show before a show. I was watching them just like, oh my God, look at them. They're so cute. And then the concert starts. And of course, people start filing into the venue. And we managed to get a place that had a really great view.

The problem was these three guys decided to stand in front of us, which would have been fine, normal, whatever. Three people stand in front of people. all the time three guys is no different. However, one guy was clearly on some drug because the way he was

dancing was like a lane on Seinfeld. For anyone who remembers that episode, it was a crazy dance. Like the dance of a madman. It was wild. He had zero inhibitions. He was the way his body was moving, it was

like a Korean horror movie. It was wild. And then another guy, he was on his phone the entire time. The entire time his phone was out. He was like texting and talking. I'm like, why are you even here, dude? What's the point? Were you dragged here?

You could have said no. For three hours that dude was on his phone. Was he alone or was he with somebody? I don't know. He was with that group. Oh, I see. I mean, he might have just been dragged there. But even then, it's like just to sit there on your phone.

You may as well try to enjoy it. Yeah, at least pretend for your friends. I would have been like, get off your phone. If you rolled up with me to a thing and then you were just on your phone the entire time, I'd be like, get off your damn phone, enjoy. Or let's go to the bar and get drunk. Like there's, dude, this place, the Palladium has food and like more bars than I can count. Like there was a bar on every corner.

Like, they're just enjoy anyway. But then the third guy was the most outrageous of all. The third guy was, I'm going to say, you know, just from a scientific standpoint, the most handsome of the men. And he clearly knew it because he was like one of those like tight buff guy shirts where it's like three sizes too small. Right. He had his pants all like, you know, extra tight. So his butt was all like popping out of the. Anyway, here's the problem though.

It might have been too tight for this man because the entire concept. He was picking at his asshole. Like he kept hand going. He's, we're behind him. So we're seeing the whole thing. I don't know what he thinks we're seeing. He is rubbing, like his hands are down the back of his pants the entire night. And he's like rubbing stuff and moving stuff.

I don't know if he's got like a G string on. I don't know what's going on this man. Maybe he did it on purpose. Maybe he's establishing dominance because all of us behind him were like, mm-mm. There are people I didn't even know who were next to us who were like, mm-mm. No. that's awful.

It was the worst. Oh, it was the worst. That's like something you shouldn't do, like even alone. Like, that's just like too much. Like, something's wrong. Like, what are you doing? Yeah, oh, what made it even worse is that I was told, you know, when people randomly spout a fact, hoping maybe it'll help, but it clearly doesn't.

And the fact was that a lot of times when people scratch their butts, it's because they don't wipe correctly. So now mentally, I have this image of this man's dirty ass in my head now. I'm like, cool, cool. So his dirty ass and now dirty hands are, I'm going to say, a foot from me. I'm like, I can't deal with this right. You know me, I'm like, mm-mm, mm-mm. This guy's dirty as I.

Yeah, so that, thankfully, they at some point decide to go get drunk and like left. But then they kept trying to get back in and then they would just get closer to us. But thankfully that guy was on the further side so I didn't have to look directly at him. But yeah, everyone was like, there was a row of us basically just watching this man grab his ass the entire time. That's just, I don't know. Some people just have no shame. Oh, yes, absolutely. And to be clear, it's also Hollywood.

So when there's no shame, we saw a guy come, this older man with his two very young, I'm going to assume prostitutes. Like there was, you know, it's that kind of, it's Hollywood, man. There's zero shame. Everyone was rolling how they rolled. Or they're just some sort of, you know, like he pays for them type of thing, right? I have to believe that's what it was. But yeah, zero shame, no shame to be found anywhere. Hmm.

It's, uh, I always think that, I don't know, because like, to me, L.A. just has everybody, right? I feel like you have at least one of every type of personality. But then I think of like the rest of the country and I'm like, there's a lot of times where I'm like, they don't have the, the same diversity of personalities, but they have a lot more of some specific personalities. So maybe like, in some state, there's like, you know, you go to a concert, there's like 20 dudes. scratching their eyes. Yeah, I believe that. I can think of many cases where that would be true. It's just that it's an interesting variety here.

Because when we were at the concert, I was like, wow, there's a really, like, crazy, eclectic group of people here. There's all ages. There was, you know, like, like I said, there's, you know, elder emoes, but there were also, you know, people who were in their teens. And there was, you know, people who were older. There were clearly Hollywood reps because there was just dudes and suits, like, you know, look into wheel and deal. One of the bands that was there, they just released their first album, so their agency and stuff was there.

You know, like that kind of stuff. Yeah. And since it's right in Hollywood, it has that vibe. But also, you know, you got your nerds, your jocks, your, you know, all the different variety of people are there. But with that said, yeah, I would agree. that a Friday night in Hollywood, while having a diverse group of people, is going to have a significantly different diverse group of people

than say like Branson, Missouri on a Friday night. Yeah. Like, I don't know if they'd have the same people at the Grand Ole Opry. Right, right, right. Although I would wager a lot of butt scratching. I would too. You never know.

Maybe more on the butt scratcher side and less on the elder emo side. Yeah. Well, that's pretty fun. Was that like your main thing of the week? Yeah, I mean, I did screw up in a way that was depressing today. I went and got coffee. Learned the darkest fact.

I found out that there's this really great coffee place. It's very small. All they do is make like, you know, six things. It's incredible. It's the perfect spot, dude. Love it. And I went there. It's one of those places in L.A.

that does their own coffee, but doesn't charge. You know what I mean? Because they're only making so much. Anyway, went there. They were like, just a heads up. We're closing down permanently on Monday. I was like, what do you mean? Depressing.

But the real thing that got me is they've, you know, been advertising this coconut something latte. And I was like, you know what? I'll try that. You know, while we're here, last hurrah, I'll give it a go. Took my first sip. and I screwed up because this week I had what I'm going to say might be

the best curry I've ever had except that curry had a coconut flavor to it and when I drank this coffee it tasted exactly like that curry and it felt like I was drinking curry all morning which is a weird vibe it started my day off weirdly

where if I wasn't looking at it, I could have swore I was drinking the sauce from the curry. That is definitely weird. And it's not a good way to start your day with coffee. It's a strange vibe. Let me tell you. It's been that way all day, just a strange vibe. Yeah, this is, I mean, I don't put cream in my coffee, but I would imagine if I put

coconut milk in it, it would have a weird vibe. Yeah. I mean, I will say I've come around to oat milk. I like that. Oat milk's good. It kind of tastes like Graham Cracker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oat milk's good.

I can't do almond. Almond makes me shit myself. And coconut milk I'm not a big fan of. And, like, two percent. I figured out something weird. 2% milk and 1% makes my face swell. What? Apparently it's a thing.

Apparently, if milk from a cow can sometimes cause people to have reactions that aren't necessarily you're allergic, but like, you kind of are. Because I guess we're all supposed to be a little bit allergic to cow milk. Like the hormones in it or something? I don't know. I know, but it'll make my face, like, not swell like, like, and red, but it'll make it look noticeably more puffy. I see.

And if I don't have skim milk, fine, but I don't like skim milk. So, you know, but the, or, or, you know, the veggie milks are fine. Yeah, you know, or whatever, you know, those. The not real milk. Like, you thought about like carrot milk, like broccoli milk. There's got to be a carrot milk or something out there. Yeah, like a cashew milk. There's, of course there is.

But I don't, yeah, I don't know what it is. So I just stopped drinking cow milk. Every once in a while I'll have it. But then I'll be like, look at it. my chubby cheeks. Yeah, I mean, the only cow milk I drink is the core protein

ultra-pasteurized one. That's fine. Yes, that is, when I have those, that is the literal only time I drink it, yeah. Yeah. But that's also because I like, I like, I'd like it. It tastes good. It does taste good.

It really does. It's like one of the only things that actually doesn't upset my digestion. Like all the other protein, powders and all that shit. Like it always gives me some sort of digestion pain, but that one does Yeah, yeah. I like that. I like it a lot. And it's one of the few reasons that I get to go to Costco. Buy that and then I get to have my $1.50 hot dog and a drink. It's great. Solid, solid choice. Dude, Costco, I thought, like, I saw people backed up at the Costco gas station, like more so than usual. It was like going into the road. And I was like, this shit's insane.

insane. I thought, I was like, you know what? How much is the Costco gas? Like, is it like a dollar cheaper? Like, I was curious. It was like 20 cents cheaper. I was like, dude, I'm not going to wait in a line for 20 cents. Maybe if you have like one of those mega cars, right? And you're like filling up like a whole ice thing. If you have a full tank on a big truck or something, that's probably worth it for sure. It's like 20 cents. I thought it was going to be like a dollar or even like 50 cents. I'd have been like, okay, that's pretty good. Sometimes you also have to find those gas stations. Like I know Costco is the, you're always going to, it's going to be cheaper everywhere for the most part. But with that said, there's like a hidden gas station kind of

around the corner from that Costco and they're trying to compete clearly because it's like, I don't know, two cents more than Costco and there's no line. I'm like, I'm just going to go there. Yeah. Like waiting in the line, you probably burn up like a bunch of gas anyway. Burn up the 20 cents you're saving. Oh my gosh. God, I forgot. Yesterday I got gas. All right. And so I was like, all right, whatever. I think it was like $5.10.10 here, or 20 cents.

And I'm getting the gas. Some lady pulls up behind me. She's getting her gas. Then a man pulls up in his like Chevy, some Chevy. And he gets out. He looks like Alex Fasiani. But like, of course. 70. Probably 60s. And he's wearing cargo shorts. suspenders. He's got like the same facial hair. And he gets out like a big like thing to put gasoline in for like lawnmowers and shit. And he starts fill up his car and he goes. Yep. $3. Donald. $3. Where's my gas prices? Where's the $3 gas? Donald? Where is it? And then he's like, you know where it is to the like other woman there? And she was like, ha ha. She like got back in her car. And I was out there. And he looks at me. He's like, you know where?

Where's the $3 gas? I was like, I don't know. Maybe it's in the mansion. And he goes, ah, and then he just kept filling up his gas. And I was like, all right. And then I left. But he just kept saying it out loud.

It felt like an LA moment to me. I mean, here, we're beyond that. Like, the dejected looks in the eyes of people that have to get gas, I think the cheapest in my area is 619. Damn, that's crazy. Mm-hmm. So that's where we're at. Everyone's kind of like, all right.

I'm sure it'll change any day now. Any day now. Should be fine. Should be good. You got your birthday coming up, don't you? Are you doing any fun birthday fun? I mean, yes. So tomorrow night, I'm doing a bunch of stuff like today.

For example, I'm going up my parents. It's tomorrow. I'm running around doing stuff. But tomorrow night, I'm going to a Tiki bar designed by former Disney Imagineers. What the shit? Yeah. So in Anaheim, it's a drive, but I wanted to go. When I was down there for Fan Fest, we went to this little street.

I don't know where the hell it's at, to be honest. But they had like a Final Fantasy Cafe there, and next to it was a Tiki bar. We were like, what? So we went over to it. it and it was packed. You could not get a place inside. They had tables outside, but it was kind of like, what's the point? The whole point was to be inside

in the bar. And so we walked around in the bar and I was like, this place is amazing. I would love to see what, like, reservations for this are like, it's two weeks out, dude. There's no right. You have to book weeks in advance. So I was like, oh, that'd be fun if I

booked a thing for my birthday. And it's going to be, this tiki bar is great. They have like 56 different drinks and they're all in like weird cups and stuff and there's stuff that moves in the walls and there's it's fascinating it's a really cool place it's called um it's called strong water oh oh my god i's pulled up pictures right that shit looks crazy yeah dude it's cool as hell you can like sit by a tree that's like throwing up a whirlpool yeah man there's technical coming out of the floorboards.

There's all sorts of weird stuff. Yeah, I guess it's designed by former Disney people. Oh my God. And they're like, yeah, we made a bar and it's cool. And it's very cool. Did they just like,

did they retire and they're just like, let's have fun and make our own shit or something? Yeah, I guess. This place looks great. It also has crazy reviews. This is like, if I was rich, this is what I would do.

I would open like crazy. themed cool restaurants kind of like really fancy versions of the Rainforest Cafe that's what I'm saying it's and the best part is every drink has like an insane looking cup

so it's even more themed plus there's treasure maps and stuff they were just like screw we're gonna do a whole thing we're gonna have fun it's like a weird sea monster with like worms coming out of his eyes or something or rope there's like a skull with pentacles

There's a Medusa or whatever's her name is. There's one drink that is, it's a dragon, and you can put straws and two ends because it's so big. What the hell? Yeah, there's one that they light on fire. Just the whole thing, I was like, I have to, I have to actually do this. So it is going to happen. It's crazy. You got to send me pictures.

I will. I will. It will happen. Yeah. So that's my, my little birthday treat. for me. And then Monday for my birthday

I'm going to do absolutely jack shit because you know that I do not actually like celebrating my birthday. So I intend to do nothing of value

and yeah, just take the day off and relax. Maybe clean my apartment. Yeah, clean my apartment is what I'll do on my birthday.

I mean, not having to do anything is like a birthday, a fun birthday thing because you get the day off. You're just, you're chilling. Yeah, I mean, admittedly, I'll probably have to wake up early tomorrow and get some stuff done just because all the guys are going to be like, uh, we still have to work.

I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm aware that all of your jobs are contingent on me doing my job. So, okay. That's true. You do have to constantly help your employees with their stuff. It does. Look, this whole system is screwed up. It should be they do a thing and then I show up every once in a while.

The reality is I have to work all the time and then give them things to work on. Otherwise, they have no work. And I'm paying them for nothing. So I'm obligated to do it. Like, I got to work. If I don't work, they got nothing to do. And then I'm just wasting money. Yeah.

I mean, you're like the anti-CEO. Honestly true. Yes. I mean, they would probably, if it was some CEO per, they wouldn't care. They would just be like, I'm going to overload them with work. And I'm going to make sure they're. constantly working and if they're not then I'm gonna shit myself

oh I would do I would do that I would do that in a heartbeat except I can't because that means I would then have to constantly be working the flow is all messed up it's really I see when you're the face of the operation everything has to come through you first and I'm like oh lord

so yeah that's that's why I do everything on my own then I only have myself to blame well I mean I have myself to blame to blame, but then I have the others blaming me too, so, you know. Oh, yeah, I guess he screwed up there as well. I'm saying, I really screwed up.

I did not think this through at all. Yeah. We did have, we have a lot of people watching our, what do you call it, our streams we've been doing. Yes, like the back rooms and all the stuff. That backrooms game. Yeah, if you, Just search Cox and Crenor backrooms, and you'll, you're in for experience.

You'll find it. You'll find our adventure. Yeah. That was, honestly, those are the types of fun games, well, quotation mark fun, where it's like, you can, you have a few hours of just goofing around. And it hits a point where you're like, all right, I think we've had enough. Yeah. Then you get up and leave and the- Usually the game causes that problem. Yeah.

The games like, we're going to be difficult right now and not let you have. fun and I'm like, yeah, all right, well, I'm done then. Yeah, or it takes it a little too far. I think that's what happened. Like the RV game, right? Like, we were having a great time. And then it just, it started to hit that point. We were like, it's got a little too much stuff going on here now.

Yeah, yeah. You want to use physics? No, we were fine when we were trying to jump over a cliff. Now we have to swing across a thing. Like, I'm not fast and the furious guys. Yeah, like I just want to, I don't have that ability. on the road. If a bear attacks, that's fine. Right? Like, that's, that's what it is. But there's, like, there was a volcano and, like, hollies and shit. Like, no, man. I'm good. Yeah. Same thing with the, the back rooms. It was fun until we had to sneak past a bunch of guys who were not sneak passable.

Yeah. That's, it didn't even make sense. Because the clown guy, like, you couldn't even get him to, like, turn around. He's, like, facing the doorway. Like, what are you supposed to do? That's what I'm saying. What are you supposed to do? That was dumb. Dude, do I play any fun game? Oh yeah, I've been playing everything is crab. Play that? I've heard only good things about everything is crab. Dodger was extolling its values to us on Friday.

Was she, is she like a crab expert? I don't know about that. I do know that she said she liked it and then dropped a weird fact, which is probably a fact of the day level fact, like, everything would revert to crabs? I don't remember what she said. She's like, technically, evolutionarily, everything becomes a crab. And I was like, what do you mean?

What does that mean? Great question, dude. She said it, not me. That's a weird Dodger thing. Her brain might be getting melted on the farm from the mold. Maybe it could be the fact that, like, do, hold on. Do all things become crab? It's okay, this is weird.

Apparently it's a meme. Ah. But it's called carcinization. Where it's an evolutionary process where non-crab animals such as hermit crabs and king crabs develop flat round shells and fold their tails underneath imitating true crabs. What? So it's only crustacean level. Oh yeah. It says only crustaceans can do it.

But so we're not going to become crabs or other mammals. Right. But I guess it's a meme that everything becomes a crab eventually. Ah, okay. I see. I see. Yeah, all right. Because there's a lot of things that are like the truth about it.

Internet memes versus real evolution. So apparently it's, we're late to this meme, I guess. Yeah, I guess we're just late to the memes. Because yeah, in 2020 there was a popular science why everything eventually becomes a crab. But how is it? It's great. Big fan. I will say, I think there hits a point where you start losing steam on like, you're like, all right, I've already done a lot of this. It takes a while to like get the run going. So once you die, like halfway through a run, you're just like, oh, I got to do the start again. That's kind of annoying.

But it's essentially just you're a little guy and then you kill stuff and you eat food and you level up and you get buffs. And you get things like wings and you get like snake sliding. You get arms and you get all these evolutions. actually appear on your little character, which is fun. So I did one, or I kept getting bigger and bigger, and so I was at like 700% size, and I would just go around, just whacking stuff, and I had body slam, which scaled with my size on damage. I was just doing like a billion damage to everything,

and then I won. But then it is like the progressive thing, where it's like, now go to rank four, rank five, like in terms of difficulty. So I got to rank five, and I was like, all right, you know what? I'm pretty happy right here. Maybe when they, if they add stuff in the future, I'll play more. Yeah, it's interesting.

A lot of the DLC stuff, the adding more later stuff, will bring me back to a game. I'll play it. And lately, that's been the case for a lot of games I have in my PlayStation because, you know, I don't have a computer at home. So I've been dicking around on the PlayStation. And I'm doing achievements now that I would not have tried to do before. And Dynasty Warriors is one I just 100%ed, which I've never 100%ed any Dynasty Warriors game ever, because most of it is like, okay, you need to get strong enough to beat

Lou Bo on the hardest difficulty to get his horse. That's the achievement. Get the horse. Except the process of doing that is basically level everything up all the way. So once I was on that track of, well, I got to get this horse. I started doing everything. I was like, well, if I get the horse, that means I have to level up. Well, he's very hard.

So if I keep leveling up other weapons, I'll get overall levels and it'll make it easier. So by the time I was ready to fight this guy, I had all but like three achievements done. And I was like, well, I might as well get them all. And I did. And over the course of whenever the hell that game came out like a year ago, maybe a year and a half, until now, 128 hours played, beat it. 100%. I never have to touch it again and I won't. I won't even, I'm going to delete it from the system.

I don't even want to look at it. I'll look at the 100% and be like, I've done it, I'm done moving on. So now you can move on the bigger and better things. Like, uh, potentially. Like a sieve seven expansions. Honestly, you know, I saw the news. Did you see the changes they're making? They said they're going to make it like the old one where when you advance, you don't change your

sieve. Yes. Apparently it's a setting in the beginning now where you can turn it on so it doesn't do that whole reset thing, which is huge. I actually will play it now and see if it's actually any good because that system was so terrible that any experience I have at the game

was ruined by the fact that I visibly I can see it in my mind's eye. Being at war, taking some cities, and then the time period switching and losing those cities because I didn't completely completely control them. Yeah. It was... Like, that's stupid. The fact that we would like,

we were playing that one time and then I was like the Mongols attacking a city and then we advanced and all of a sudden like all my units just disappeared and it's like actually you're like France now. It's like what? Yeah. It makes so little sense.

I'm glad they're doing away with that. I can't wait to actually check it out. And honestly, what sucks about it is knowing that the truth is still there, that any sieve game you're better waiting two or three years before actually picking it up. Yep. It really is nice.

Consistently. It's just the way it always is. And that's so funny to me because I thought for sure, well, seven. There's seven in. It won't be that way. Nope. It's exact same thing. Yep.

And it's just, it's that thing. We're like, oh yeah, we'll fix some bugs. We'll add some features. We'll fix things people don't like. And then they're like,

Oh, then here's like some new systems. And all of a sudden you're like, oh, hey, it's pretty cool. And it's, it really is like every single sin. I think it was Take 2 CEO. Someone over at Take 2 was like, yes. We screwed up. We tried to do something different. And it was in fact bad.

I'm like, thank God they admit it. And they weren't like, for the complainers out there, we've added. No, they were just like, yeah, no, that sucked. We tried to do something new. We shouldn't do that. I was like, no, you shouldn't. You had a lane. All you had to do is keep making it better and more refined.

This whole let's try something new thing. Cut that shit out. That's what so many company or just people in general do. They'll have something really good. And then they're like, what if we just change it for no reason? And you're just like, what are you doing? Like, why? It's like, it just feels different.

It needs to be different. If they were bad, like truly bad and then you changed it up, I could understand. Like, okay, we're trying something new. I love that. But Siv has considered. consistently been, you know, people have opinions on six, but I like six. I had fun with six. Yeah.

I think it's like Final Fantasy a little bit where each one's a little bit different, but you kind of know what you're getting. And so you're allowed to have opinions on which one you like better or worse and which one you want to play. But it, you know, it needs to be, every time they take a wild swing, like when they did the Mars one and that one sucked. Yeah. Like every time they take a wild swing.

swing. It's like, no, guys, go back, go back to bread and butter. You're good at that. Stick to it. Yeah. Like, just master it. You know, like, that's, that really should just be their thing. It's like mastering the one thing. And I get like, it's probably you get investors and, like, head people being like, what if we branch out a little bit? Or like, I mean, I don't even mind that they branch out and try different things. But as long as you're sticking to your main thing and it's still going well. Yeah, I mean, keep the core what it is. This time, however, they literally, changed the core and made it a completely different game. Yeah, which it's, that was dumb.

It still makes no sense how you're just like one minute your gangus con the next year, you're Benjamin Franklin. Like, how does that even, it's not even like they're related whatsoever. Like at least if it was like similar cultural people, you're like, oh,

you went from this leader to this leader in the same culture, but it's not. Yeah. I mean, I could see it being, you pick your leader. That's your culture. but based on your actions during the time periods,

when you go into a new time period, it changes the way your culture behaves. So it might be, you know, if they had taken three distinct different periods of Egypt, for example, and been like, ah, yes, under this one leader, it was very agricultural, but under this leader is warlike or under this leader. And so you have that aspect rather than,

because what would happen is you'd build a bunch of forts, then it would be like, you've unlocked the Normans. Yeah. It's like, okay, but why would, why would my ancient Mesopotamians be like Normandy now? That doesn't make any sense. But it would be, oh, well, you built a lot of defensive things.

So now we're going to give you the like archetype of this type of Mesopotamian leader. And he was very defensive, like that kind of thing. Yeah. That would be a lot better. It would make thematic sense and just be normal and good a job. But just, yeah, I, again, it just, it feels like they had a wacky idea. And they're like, this seems really cool. You get to plays multiple leaders, whatever.

And then it actually came to fruition. And they were just like, oh, actually, this sucks. Nobody likes it. And it doesn't make sure they just took the idea from another game too. Did they? I think so. I know people were saying online that there was another game that it seemed to be inspired by. Like a Europa system or something?

probably, you know it's probably one of those. It's like in 50X you know, micromanage your like families. That's too much. Too many X. Too many X, dude. Micromage your families, families,

families, royal. 4x already too much X for me sometimes. 50X? That's too much. Yeah, there's too many X. 2.3X? That's where I'm at. That's what I need. 2 3X? 2 3X.

Like to me, total war is like a solid, a solid X. I don't know what the X's mean, to be honest. I mean, it's like explore, expand, you know, that kind of thing. But I would say that, yeah, total war is I manage the armies so I can fight when I want to. I manage the towns, but only on sort of a, what do I build there so they fund the armies. And then I have an overworld map where I expand into new territories. That's all I need. Oh, and I have little heroes that shoot fireballs.

That's really it. That's all I want. I'll be fine. But when you start making me have to like really get into economic detail, like I'm fine. Warhammer has economic stuff. There's taxes and things. But most of the time I'm like,

nah, I just let it do its thing and I'll build some extra things that make me more money and I'll be fine. But when you get to like really granular detail, then it becomes too much. I can't. Yeah. And that's a lot of people love that,

which is cool. It's just, yeah, it's definitely not for me. There's, like, there's a difference in, so in Warhammer for some of, like, in Warhammer 3, right, for total war, you can put scrap on your orcs, and that scrap will change their stats, right? Yeah. And that is about as far as I'm willing to go, where you have a defined set of like, oh, you can change these orcs and give them 15% more damage if you put scrap metal on them.

Right. That's fine. But the minute I get to the point where it's like, okay, you can determine what percentage it is and to what degree then we've gone too far. Yeah. No, I definitely agree. Where it's like build a ship, like for some space sim, and I'm trying to build a ship. And it's like, well, if you put your port cannons at this side and this angle, I'm like, no, mark, no.

I should, there should be a button that says you add these. They give me 20% more damage and I'm fine. Great. I love that. Or they say actually minus 6%. I'm like, okay, well, I know not to mess with that then. That's what I need. I don't want like...

The Yvonline spreadsheets. Yes, I don't want the spreadsheets. Again, I love the Yvonline concept. Yeah. But it's a little too mathematicsy for me. I'm like, all right, I don't need that. Yeah. We should do a total war stream one weekend.

Sure. I'll be down. I'm officially... Man, for Warhammer 3, I've gotten almost all the achievements. and what sucks is the fact that the achievements I do have to get still are like really stupid ones. It's like build this one specific building. At this one's, I'm like, ah. So I have to like be that faction, travel the world, get to that place, build the thing, like that kind of stuff.

Yeah, that's pretty annoying. Yeah, that sucks. But most of them are done. The only one that is still elusive is the legendary beat the game on the hardest mode difficulty. And I've done that. I literally went through, played as Archeon the Ever Chosen, beat the game. on the hardest difficulty and the game was like

I got nothing for you like what do you mean nothing popped nothing showed up I had set everything even the like the computer AI for battles up as hard as possible just to make sure I could get this achievement and the reason why I chose

Archaeon is one because I want to see if I could do it but two when you take cities and stuff you can give them to your minions and then because the computer cheats even the minions cheat so they got huge defensive armies, so I'm like, perfect, so I don't even need to worry about that stuff. So I was going through doing my thing, still didn't get the achievement.

So then I was like, well, maybe it's just the small campaign and not the huge map. So then I played as the elves, the easiest one, blew through the campaign, won nothing. I don't know what I've done wrong. I feel like it's broken. Maybe it is broken, unless it's like, don't do it with Archeon or something. It says in, wait, legendary achievement, because it's the legendary achievement, right? Yeah, the one where you have to beat it on legendary difficulty. Says legendary achievement requires a crisis or domination victory in i.e.

All their victory achievements just need a long victory. All right. I mean, okay. I went through and I did every, you know how like there's long victory, but there's also domination. There's also like the dwarves are pissed. beat them and win. I did all of it. I destroyed the world of man.

The map was empty, except for my forces, and I still didn't win, dude. I don't. I have no answers for you. Yeah. So I would happily play with you, because I've got a few things. Like, I have to build, like,

the sex dungeon or whatever as Lanesh. I have to do this one. I have to do some stupid thing as the ogres where it's like build five camps. So. Yeah. All right. Sure. I'd play in a heartbeat. Nice. Yeah, I don't know who I'd play. I just, sometimes I just feel it.

Sometimes I just click through the names and you just get that calling. Like you'll just be like, I get it, graw. And I'm like, yeah, that's the one. Yeah, look, dude, I get the, I get the, the, the, the, the, Skaven love. Yeah. That was, it's, it's funny. The one thing, the one faction I haven't completed the game on, like,

the super challenge mode yet is, the Tomb Kings because they're releasing that new DLC. I guess you get to plays in the gash or something and I was like, hell yeah. So I'm going to wait for that. I'll be an evil vampire slash skeletal lord or whatever the hell he is. Yeah, that's pretty cool. It says they just announced some big live stream thing they did like a month ago and it got like medieval 3,

Rome 2, Total War 3 and then 40K announced this stuff. Yes. I am hoping against hope that at play days this year there's some 40K stuff. Yeah, that'd be great. Because I know they're going to be there. Yeah, I know they're going to be there, so I really want to see if they're going to have a thing because that would be awesome to check out because that game is going to be huge. That's going to be, that might be the biggest total war game.

Yeah, 40K is significantly more loved than normal Warhammer. Yes, for sure. And it's all right. Normal Warhammer Total War is already like one of the biggest. like games they've had. Yeah, so I'm excited to see what the hell happens because I want to know how it's going to work, but I feel like we saw it in the trailer.

It's going to be a Warhammer map, except instead of on one planet, the map is the galaxy. Yeah. And then each planet is like a city, if that makes sense. Yeah. It's honestly pretty cool looking.

I mean, listen, I'm only going to be playing Necron-Tyrnid orc. So, And I think orcs are in the game to start. I think, I don't know if necrons are, dearie. I know orcs are, though. I hope Necron. That's who I want to play the most.

The idea of being a hellish skeletal army of the damned going through space and unleashing green lasers on people sounds awesome. It says it'll launch with four races and it's space marines, astromilitarim, orcs, and Eldari. No, no chaos? Crazy. Yeah, no, I'm sure they'll, they'll announce something like the week after. Like, be like, and here's like chaos space marines or some shit. Wow, interesting. Interesting.

I did get a box sent to me in the mail. They're doing like a big Warhammer push. And the box has a bunch of Warhammer stuff in it. But it has the funniest thing in the world because there's like, there's a baseball hat with the Nergel symbol on it. and then it says on the hat All Shall Rot And I was like What a crazy hat to wear

Like just going around the city Like oh hey everybody Hey there All shall rot Damn I want a Nurgle hat I was like okay I want a Nurgle hat Look man

Apparently you can actually Buy a bunch of them too Because I went online I was like hold on They're more than just a Nurgle hat They have all the hats There's a hat for every 40K faction Damn

I mean even the the space marines and the like chaos marines all of them with all their symbols and stuff I was like oh okay I just I'm actually excited for they're doing a new 40K like version of the like the actual game in the summertime I think the end of June or something mid to end of June so there's a new addition and that's to be pretty neat everyone's excited for that and the box has like orcs in it I'm splitting it with my friend because he wants the space marines and I always. the orcs. That's awesome. That's gonna be neat. Yeah, I'm pretty happy about that. I mean, listen, I play too much tabletop or hammer. So it's, people are still like, do you, what space marines do you have? And I'm like, I don't have space marines.

And like, people can comprehend the fact that I just don't like space marines. I don't know what it is. I mean, I don't wanna mess around with space marines. I think, you know, in the games, they're cool. But it's like, choosing a human in a fantasy setting. Like, alright, I mean, you can. I just

won't. Yeah. I mean, I don't even like them in the games. I despise Space Marines. They're everything I don't enjoy in a fantasy universe. And the and the orcs and the tyrannids and the Necron, like, it's everything that I do

love. Like, Tyrannids like that Zerg. Well, they're obviously, the Zerger based off them, but, you know, they have all the bug people and crazy monsters and shit. Then you got like the orcs with all the wacky vehicles and squigs and everything and you got the the uh the uh who's the what's it

the necrons they have like all their crazy like robot shit and the silent king and all that it's honestly just I don't know I just think they look cooler and better I mean I like that in fantasy any or Warhammer fantasy too like just I don't really play any human

things although they did just release the cog fort and I do want to get a cog fort what the hell is a cog fort dude you haven't seen the Cog fort. I don't know what, I don't even know what I would look up. Here you go, it was a cog fort.

What is this nonsense? For those who are curious, if you ever played any sort of RTS and or tower defense game, imagine a basic ass tower with two cannons or a cannon, but then also mechanical legs and like a bunch of dudes hanging off the side with guns and stuff like yeah we're on this tower that's pretty much what this is and I would imagine it's huge oh yeah probably it's like the

old version of that remember that Fisher Price Castle back in like the 90s yes it's like that yes but Warhammer style so that's so funny in age of Sigmar the cities of Sigma which are one of the human factions they're getting like a big update they got a new book and one of of the things they released is this cog fort and they said that you'll be able to use it in like every army or there'll be rules you can so people are just getting it to kit bash so like people are gonna make like there's already someone that made like a scaven one uh with like a bunch of rat shit attached to it and a bell uh in fact here you go like look at that one the scavin cog that's so cool yeah so people are doing that is

The kit bashing is cool. It kind of has a vibe of those sarcophagus things in Eldon Ring. Oh, yeah. I can see that. With the bell underneath it? Oh, that's so cool. Yeah. I mean, I guess it makes sense that when you go to their website,

they have all these little units, little men, but the thing that's sold out is that. Yep. Everyone's like, I could care less about the humans. Screw them. Giant walking tower. I mean, it's a lizard man one. I love that one with the vines and everything.

It's also $210. Yeah, it's $200. But, oh, the vines look so cool. Especially considering in Warhammer, total war, the fact that there's a human faction right next to some lizard men in like what is basically South America. Yeah, yeah. Like you can see this being from that area where they like take over one of this. You know what?

It's very creative. I love when. artists, you know, do amazing things with these miniatures. I can't, which is why I'm going to ask again, please stop sending me them. Whoever is doing it, I love you. Thank you for thinking of me. But I'm not talented enough to deal with $200 pieces. I can't do it.

Send them to me. Don't put that on me. I'll do it. Yeah, send it to Crendor. He'll do it. Yeah. I don't have the talent. I think you can.

I just don't have the time. Yeah. I mean, I would have to sit down, learn to do the pay. painting, then like actually put the, you know, I want to put like stuff on the, on the base of it, like mossy things, like that kind of stuff. Yeah. I want it to look cool. Yeah.

It's, uh, it does take a while to, you know, get to a point where your stuff looks better instead of just kind of like, but that's just anything. If you want to send me something, send me like the $5 crappy one that's discontinued. I'll paint that. Yeah. Send them some shitty ones. ones. Yeah, I'll paint the crap ones. Yeah. I got you. Um, that one's cool. So I'm excited to do that. Uh, and so there's a lot of cool Warhammer stuff coming out. That was the, that was the

Warhammer section of the show. Uh, that's it. But you know what section is next. If you're a fan of Invincible, a great show, you already know the universe doesn't exactly pull its punches. Well, neither does its first major video game. Invincible versus is a brutal tournament quality 3V3 tag fighting game from quarter up Skybound's new internal studio led by Fighting Game Vets who brought us the 2013 Killer Instinct reboot. They've built the game from the ground up for the fighting community and it absolutely shows. We're talking dynamic 3V3 synergies, creative combo routing, a level of pure, unadulterated visual destruction that no other tag fighter has in the market right now.

The arenas literally shatter and transition mid-match, and it always is a spectacle to watch. That's really most of the fun for me. When it comes to fighting games, I like watching pros destroy each other and the map. It's awesome. Plus, the single-player story mode is written by the actual creative team behind the animated show. So the vibe is authentic. The game launched with a massive roster of 18 playable fighters, including heavy hitters like Mark, Omneman, Battle Beast, alongside the brand new character, Elemental.

It's playable right now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X-N-S and PC at 499. That's the standard edition. They also have like a digital deluxe and a physical collectors, all sorts of stuff. If you're ready to unleash some devastating bone-breaking combos, the wait is over. Invincible versus is out now on PlayStation Xbox and PC. All right, let's go to chopper. Whoa, what? With Crendor? I'm just doing it.

Yeah, he's just doing it. So, yeah, the Chopter Capter segments only going to be about 15 seconds because the gas prices on this thing are pretty terrible, so we don't have the money to actually keep flying it around. Yeah, back to you. Thanks, Crenor. Yeah, the gas prices have been crazy to the point where I've had people who normally drive.

to the office, work from home. Because I'm like, just don't. Most people, most of the guys in the office live an hour away. Oh, God. Yeah. So I'm like, just stay home. I mean, that's even more reason to get rid of your office. Yeah.

Yeah, it sucks, man, because I definitely am just kind of like, I'd be fine staying here if they weren't going to jack up the rent and hit me with a bunch of other nonsense with, you know, all the bills have increased. It's not a great time. And my favorite coffee place is closing down. What the heck? Unreal.

Thanks, Obama. Yeah. The economy. That's that. All right. Well, what's going on in weather? Oh, there it is. Weather request for Fortitude.

I don't know why I struggled there. Fortitude Valley in Brisbane, Australia, just went there. to see Hot Mulligan screamed my little heart out. Okay, I assume that's a band, Hot Mulligan. Yeah, hot mulligan. Unless it's like, I don't know,

some sort of Adam Sandler movie. That's one hot mulligan. Shub it in a no. Oh, geez. Oh. Currently in Brisbane, Australia, it is 68 degrees, feels like.

68 degrees Fahrenheit. Chance of rain 11%. We have 64 degrees as the low, 76 on the high. 4 mile an hour southwest winds. Humidity 82%. UV index 2. Air quality 10. Due point 62.

Pressure 30.16 inches. Visibility 8 miles. Moonrise. 6.34 a.m. Moon set. 508 p.m. Is that same as sunset? 6.21 a.m. is the sunrise.

506 p.m. is the sunset. You actually get two minutes of no sun or moon or wait. I don't think that's how that works. I don't know that's how that works, dude. Wait, wait a second. If the moon is rising at 6 a.m. and the sun is rising

at 6 a.m., how does that make sense? They're rising and setting at the same time? Am I crazy? I mean, they're all there. They're always there. Yeah, but isn't like the... Well, I know they're always there. The moon is still visible during the day.

It's just the light from the sun makes it harder to see. That's, uh... I know that, but it's just like, it's blown my mind for some reason that... It says that the moon sets at 508 p.m. So it's like, it's saying that there's no moon... For like... For hours, but that makes sense. I don't know.

I don't know what to tell you here. I don't know what the thing. Um... Well, it's a new moon. as well. 10 day. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Sunday, 76 with showers at times.

Monday 71 with rain. Tuesday, 73 with showers. Wednesday, 75. Mostly sunny. Thursday, 74, mostly sunny. Friday, 75. Sunny. Saturday, 76 and partly cloudy, eh? Sunday 76, parley cloudy.

Monday, 44, partly cloudy. Tuesday, 72, partly cloudy. And Wednesday, 70. And mostly cloudy. I just want to say, once again, Australia coffee culture is killing it right now. Shout to death before decaf. I love that.

There's a, yeah, all sorts of great coffee shops. But also, just like a million bars. So many bars. There are a lot of bars here. Ooh, there's Wulun Gaba. I found it. That's where the Gaba is. I feel like we've heard that or done that before.

I feel like you're right. I remember the gaba. I do too, man. I don't know why, but I remember the gaba. I have forgotten everything else, but I remember the gaba. Right? Have we been here before? I feel like maybe we have.

We had to have. It's a major city, right? There's got to be someone. Yes. In 500 episodes, absolutely. The Gaba speaks true to me. Yeah, the Gaba does speak true. What if I go up a bit?

What's up here? Beerwa. North? There's a place called Beerwa. In Brisbane? No, I just went north a bit from Brisbane to see what else was up there. Because I just like see in the Australian names. And there's Bracken Ridge.

There's Mango Hill. There's Burpin Gerry. I do see burping Gary Is that how it's named Burp and Gary? Probably not You can go get divine pasta Pizza and pasta You can go to Yang Gofu hot pot and burping Gary

Come on now Burp and Gary Is this the guy named Gary He's like we burp them every day The Burp and Gary Tavern Burping That's dude I hope it's Burping Gary I do too

What a great name. Like you got Elmba, you keep going, you got beer, burrum. I think it's pretty crazy that the Australia Zoo across from it is Warrior Restaurant and Bar. What is that Warrior? Honestly, here's what's crazy. Crendor, go, do you see Warrior, Warrior Restaurant and Bar? Yep. It does not look like what you would think it would look like at all. It looks really fancy. Oh yeah, it does. The food looks really good, dude. It's like super fancy. I thought it was going to be kind of like, yeah, we serve meat because it's across from the zoo. We're hunting animals.

I mean, they do, but everything on the menu looks delicious. They got a bunch of Steve Irwin pictures on the wall. Maybe it's Steve Irwin place? I don't know. Maybe it is. But it definitely has the vibe of upscale. Yo, it's at the crocodile hunter lodge. Of course it is.

Oh, my God. It's Steve Irwin, dude. It's Steve Irwin. Oh, my God. No wonder it's so upscale. My man Steve always has the best. He does. I didn't know he was near Beerwa.

You can get, oh my God, you can get a, I guess it's supposed to be some sort of ice cream drink, like a milkshake, but it has a little crocodile made of chocolate on it. Oh, my God. Oh, they know what they're doing. Oh, stop. All the tourists with photos of Steve Irwin. Oh, it's so sweet. You know what? This is incredible.

Oh, I love this. this is really cool yeah this looks phenomenal oh my god I'm like kind of upset that I can't go to this I mean I guess I could but I'd have to go to Australia

yeah well that's the I've got to go all the way across the world for us yeah but it's like right across from it's I assume that's the zoo that Irwin was at yeah it's got to be

they put all this stuff here I didn't think the Australia zoo Beerwa of all places I just thought it was funny because I had beer in the name. North of Beerwa and south of Landsborough. Yeah.

Look at that. And then if you keep going north there's this aquariums and all sorts of stuff. That must be the area where like all the stuff goes down. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's definitely where all the stuff goes down. No doubt. But I've never been up that far. Like I've never been up to Brisbane.

I've been to Melbourne, I've been to Canberra, I've been to Sydney, but that's all still South, basically. Oh yeah, Sydney, Melbourne. Where's Cadd and Caterboro? Canberra is right in the middle of those two.

Oh, okay, so it's like, oh yeah, there it is, I see it. Yeah, I've only been to those three cities. I haven't been to Brisbane, I haven't been to Perth. But Perth is like a different world as far as I'm concerned. Why? Because it's on the other side of the continent And it's Like the one big city over there

And it's a different beast entirely You have to go through a desert if you want to get to it Or fly But like I just have it Oh and that's where all the sharks are So no I'm all right All the sharks just navigate over to Perth They're like there's our home

I'm pretty sure that's it Like Perth's where the sharks hang out It really is like all alone over there That's what I'm saying I think it was probably a mining town I don't know But I also know that's where a lot of the celebrities From Australia come from

Which is very funny I see I feel like Perth is the Ohio of Australia Like just like everyone I'm meeting L.A. He's like, oh I'm from Ohio It's like yeah, no that checks out I feel like that's Perth Everyone from Perth is like I got to get to L.A.

I got to get out of here Australians is Perth The Ohio of Australia Let us know Yeah, let us know. And that's the weather. All right. Let's go to sports.

Sports time. Currently, we've got the NBA playoffs going on, and we got the Thunder and the Spurs going to be playing each other in the West and in the East. It's the Knicks taking on either the Pistons or the Cavaliers. They're going to a game seven. So whoever wins that plays the Knicks. In the NHL, got the avalanche of the Golden Knights,

in the west, and then in the east we got the hurricanes taking on either the Sabres or the Canadians, currently Montreal up 3-2 in the series. Uh-oh. Come on, Buffalo. And then in baseball, we got the Tampa Bay Rays in first, with the Yankees a couple games behind. We got the Cleveland Guardians in first with the White Sox behind. We got the athletics in first with the Mariners Rangers right behind. We got the Braves in first in the east, and nobody really close to them. I got the Cubs in first and the Central with the Cardinals and the Brewers behind them, and then the Dodgers with the Padres, the half game back of them.

And then, let's see, World Cup update. There's games starting June 11th, I believe, is when it starts. But they might be doing like pre-match stuff. I don't know how it works, but it seems like June 11th. like a little under a month from now is when it actually begins. Um, and... And...

That sports. Okay. What is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. Electrons might live forever. What? I mean, I guess in theory, but I mean,

what do they define as live? Diantheists have estimated the minimum lifetime of the electron is about 6.6 times 1,028 years. This is 66,000 yada years. Yada years! No more Yolo, it's yada, dude. Yada! Like a new rap-pop album coming out, Yada years. Yada years.

Since this is about five quintillion times the age of the universe, even if electrons don't live forever, they may as well be. Well, and they don't live forever. But they don't live forever then. Right, right, right. It's a lie. Right. Right. Why would they lie to us like that?

Yeah. I mean, I'm not like. So they live a long time. But also, live is a relative, like, an electron isn't like, I gotta go to work today. I got to have kids. I got to like, you know,

electrons exist. Yeah, it is. But live, I don't know is the right word. Yeah, that's a dumb one. Here we go. The moon is shrinking. but only very slightly by about 50 meters or 164 feet

in radius over the last several hundred million years mysterious seismic activity known as moon quakes could be to blame right that's because of the aliens live inside of it of course yeah and they're fighting with the lizard people creating explosions in the moon right right right yeah the age old battle between the aliens and the lizard people in the moon everyone knows that yeah and they're trying to fight

to get the cheese of the moon so they can eat and survive. Everybody knows it. Everyone knows that. Yeah. And that's your fact of this. All right. Who has come to us with tears in their eyes?

We've got tears. Dear illustrious sirs, with tears in my eyes, I beg of you, what piece of advice would you give 12 year old you? Go for more walks. Not even work out more. Just walk more.

It's pretty good. That's a actual good piece of my guys. I will say though 12 year old me would tell me to shut up because 12 year old me had to walk to school every day and that was two miles one way. So I was like getting walks in as a kid for sure. But I guess it'd have to be like keep that up. When you get a car, don't stop doing that. Yeah, so you're, well, in that case, you're kind of talking more to just 12-year-old you, in hopes of 12-year-old you talking to older you, like at 18 or 19 or something. Yeah, I mean, the problem is no matter what if you tell your 12-year-old self, so it wouldn't be that. I couldn't do that.

You know what I'd tell my 12-year-old self? I tell my 12-year-old self, it's not that important. All the things you think are like hyper-important in your life when you're 12 really don't matter. all the things that worried you and stressed you out as a 12 year old enjoy the time enjoy being 12 stop worrying about like what Johnny the 13 year old thinks of you you know what I mean

yeah I mean what did Johnny the 13 year old think I don't know I don't there was no Johnny but you know what I mean like there's got when you're young and you start to hit that like a prepubescent you know teenage years everything about you changes and you become like really you know like oh I'm trying to fit in at school and I want people to like me and but you do it and you realize later like you changed a lot of yourself in ways you didn't really want to for other people just to get through high school and I like screw it I'd be like young Jesse you won't you'll never see these people again just do your thing man

nice honestly I would talk to my 12 year old self and say keep doing what you're doing It's going great. Let's keep it up. Maybe don't have as many sody pops. But aside from that, you're doing all right. We also have Dear Lustrius serves with tears in my eyes and my quill still wet with ink.

I come to you with a question. If you could create a dynamic duo of two different animals, which pair would each of you choose? I just finished writing a short SCP story about a bear who has an army of ants at her command, but I would love to hear what you come up with. I mean, I probably could think of a whole bunch of them. One, I could probably think off the top of my head, would be, uh, let's see, a squirrel and a frog.

Why? Why? Well, the squirrel needs to get nuts, and the frog could like jump around and get the nuts and his mouth. and then bring them back to the squirrel. And then the squirrel in return, uh, well, I don't really know what the squirrel would offer the frog. That's what I'm saying. I feel like it would be

maybe like chimpanzee and raccoon. Why? Uh, because I feel like they've got sort of a, you know, you can be the face of the operation chimpanzee, and I'll be kind of like the Sly Cooper guy. And I go around and we'll steal people. people's stuff, you know?

That's, yeah, I can see that. Because they always talk about how monkeys will, like, run around and steal your stuff. And I feel like, you know, but the raccoon is notorious for that. So the monkey can be the face of the operation, the raccoon can be the guy in the background. I mean, that makes sense. I mean, I could, honestly, I could see, uh, even like a monkey that has an army of alligators.

He sends out to fight people. It was like a Florida one. Right, right, right, right. And people would ask how that monkey, get those. Alligators and everyone just be like Florida and you go Oh, okay. Yeah, exactly. Right. Monkey Monday says a different meaning then. Yeah. In fact

When monkey Mondays comes to your town, it's the alligator's coming to get you. Yeah, he knows what's up. He's got he's got the gator army. He's not afraid. He's probably a mob boss or something. Which Honestly, maybe the squirrel's a mob boss And he's got the army of frogs. Gathers up

the nuts, sells them at like a higher price, marks them up. Runs the nut industry. The nut. industry. Yeah. There you go. That's the dear illustrious. All right.

What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day, day, day, day. Uh, it's a Florida man. Whoa. We're back. It's sugar. Florida man blows fentanyl in deputies' face.

Oh, no. Okay. A Florida man was arrested in a public's parking lot after he blew fentanyl in a deputy's face and attempted to claim a substance in his pocket was sugar. The Marion County Sheriff's Office said the incident occurred after deputies located a car belonging to Jesse James McColliffe who had an active violation of probation warrant.

Deputies pointed a gun at his car and he got out of the vehicle according to the video. MSCO or MCSO said deputies'eses noticed signs of drug use, including a tie falling off from the man's arm and syringes in his car. A deputy found a bag of fentanyl in McAffe's pocket, which he claimed was sugar. In the video, a deputy responds to the man saying, sugar, okay, you carry sugar in a baggie like that. He responded, yes, I do. My sugar gets low and I need to eat it. Okay.

Right. I mean, like, valid excuse. I guess. Yeah, you know. You're diabetic, you carry around your bag of sugar. That's how it works. That's how it works. Yeah. Video shows a deputy finding a bottle cap in the man's pocket,

which officials claim was filled with melted fentanyl. McAuliffe then blew the fentanyl from the cap directly into deputy Boebezi's face and the sheriff's office said, MCSO said the action was an attempt to destroy the evidence. I was just trying to blow that off your hands so you don't get it in your mouth, he said. You might get sick from it. Don't touch it, he said moments later. It's terrible. You don't want this in your face, sir.

Deputies found additional pre-filled and used syringes containing fentanyl in the man's car. Even a small amount of fentanyl can be life-threatening, the sheriff's office said. These are real risks our deputies are facing every day in the Florida area. McAuliffe was transported to Marion County Jail and charged with possession of fentanyl, tampering with evidence, possession of drug paraphernalia in addition to his outstanding warrant. That sounds like Florida all right. They're, uh, I mean, I want to be like, well, why this, why that? But again, as we've just said, it's Florida.

There's all the answer you need. That really is all you need to know. Why did that guy do that thing? Well, clearly drugs. It's in the fact that he, that's what he, that's what he, had on him. Yeah, he had numerous drugs, which crazy how he just had some sugar with him in addition to all those drugs. Right, right. It's so weird.

Yeah, it's crazy, but you know, everybody needs a little bit of sugar, I guess. Well, yeah, yeah, I mean, the man needs it. It's diabetes. Yeah. So you go. Even diabetics can take drugs. Come on. Yeah, that's what we've been saying for years. That's, yeah, that's it. That's what we're known for this show, as we keep saying, Even diabetics can take drugs, guys. Come on.

You know, Zepic's diabetic drug. We learned that. That's true. But I was talking about like, you know, fentanyl. Fentil. Yeah, that's what I was referring to. Yeah.

Right. That's exactly. There you go. It's your big new story of the day. Okay. That's it for us. Thanks so much for listening. I'm enjoying this podcast.

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I don't remember. Just look it up. And there's more stuff. Okay. Well, that's it. We'll see you all next time. And as always. Shake, Rhino. To be continued.