Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 508 - The Biscuit Bandit

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

The boys are back and this time Jesse is back from his Tiki Bar adventure and adjusting to life with new glasses. It's a whole thing. Meanwhile Crendor has found the perfect video game for him. But that's not nearly as important as this fact of the day he found. Also a man broke into Popeyes to make food, which has always been a dream of Jesses. All this and more on a brand new Cox n' Crendor! Go to http://buyRaycon.com/coxOPEN to get 15% off! Go to http://heroforge.com and use code CRENDOR to get 5% off. Come see us live! https://lh-st.com/shows/08-22-2026-chilluminati-cox-n-crendor-live/

Today's episode is brought you by Cox and Crendor live, August 22nd in Chicago. Hey, if you haven't gotten your tickets yet, we are, it's down to the wire. I think there's like six tickets left. I would love to see you there. Also, today we're brought to you by Raycon and Hero Forge. So let's jump into this podcast. Everybody, it's time for Cos and Fred Dog. Let's see Crendong in the morning.

In the morning. You're Castor live, live, live, live, long, before our reporting studio, recording. Recording. Wait your ass up. It's up, Gakst, Brendan, in the morning. Hello, everybody, the way,

so, to Cox and Crenner in the morning. Hey, everybody. That was a pretty good radio voice. Like, racket it all that long, 1077, The Edge. I was a little bit. I don't even know what I was going for, but I guess it is kind of radio. Maybe my subconscious was like radio. I mean, that's, we're almost like radio. Yeah. We're almost like radio. We're almost like radio. We could almost radio. How was your, that was your week. I mean, you had your, your birthday week. I did. I did. It was lovely. Um, Alex Fasciani got me sick. Excellent. So that was lovely. Uh, but after after, so last week, after we recorded, I went out.

to a teaky bar. Oh yeah, you talked about that teaky bar. And that was lovely. That was very fun. I got to hang out with a lot of good friends. Again, Alex Fasciani got me sick. But while we were there, it's lovely.

It is literally right next to the Final Fantasy, like, I don't know, cafe. You know, like not a made cafe, but like a themed cafe that isn't really Final Fantasy, but it's more fantasy-based, but it's clearly Final Fantasy. They have different events there and very specifically Final Fantasy 14 was happening there. But right next door to that is this Tiki Bar. It's an Anaheim and it's

awesome. You wouldn't know it for the outside because the whole area it's in. It looks like one of those places they tried to develop and make a cool hip place like a downtown but ain't nobody down there. It is empty as hell. But this one building

pretty nondescript out front has a sign and maybe a few tables, and then this huge door and a guy there. And you have to have a reservation to go in that door. And when they open it, on the inside is one of the coolest tiki bars I've ever seen. It's made by former Disney Imagineers.

There are tables that have little things that say, oh, this is where such and such a famous Disney person sat. And all the drinks was like 50-some drinks are these amazing tiki drinks and the tiki mugs, and they're delicious. They have great food. It was a blast. I was thrilled to go.

What I didn't realize is that the longer you're there, the more you start noticing things. So at first, yeah, it reminds you of like the inside of a ship maybe. Or the wreck of a ship. And there's vines and there's like tentacles hanging down from stuff and like cool wood carvings and skulls and paintings, old paintings and crazy stuff. Like the bathroom, for example, has 12 locks on the door, but they're all like goofy locks and there's paintings everywhere. And it is very interesting. But what I started to notice is things are moving, but it's so subtle you wouldn't notice unless you were looking. So like at one point, there was this big sort of voodoo mask.

And we're sitting there. And we had been there an hour already. And suddenly its eyes open and it started looking around. And then it closed them real quick. What the heck? Right, dude? I was like, whoa, wait, what? And then it never happened again the rest of the time we were there.

Oh, that actually is weird. I love that kind of stuff. And so, yeah, there's little tiny things to find. Like, you know, you'll be in the bathroom and there'll be like a thing you could poke and like a weird noise will happen. Just like crazy stuff is in there. It was great. But with that said, they very clearly have a set schedule. So when you book a reservation, you can stay for two hours.

And that's it. Oh, so it's like a very much like a, this is your experience. Now get out. Yeah, I assume because inside there, there's two bars. One's like the captain's quarters, which is very cool sort of like a pirate themed. And then there's the main bar, which is more like the shipwreck theme. And so the captain's quarters has a bar, I'm going to say five seats and then two very small two person tables. And then the main thing has, I'm going to say, six tables total and then a bar.

So it's small. It is not a big place. is whatever I think of these types of themed things I think of like you know rainforest cafe

it's not as kitschy or there's not like animatronics I mean there are some things that move but it's not the

it's not designed to be the focal point the focal point is clearly the drinks and the food so would you say that the thing that

where you saw it move and then not move again do you think it could have moved again you just weren't paying attention sure

it very much could have or it may be a thing that only moves like once every two hours i don't know yeah that is pretty cool but i like that i think it's it feels like a spot to hang out and drink and talk with friends without it being oh look at this silly ape or the rain's gonna start like that kind of thing and no one there they'll like welcome you to the voyage and they'll talk about like all the drinks the crew will have or whatever but they aren't like our matey you know they're not doing that Yeah. So it's very low key, but there's also weird stuff to find. Like if you're looking, you'll see things.

That's kind of what I would want, I think, from more themed restaurants. Because I like a lot of people do want that. They want more theme stuff. But it's just like you don't want to be over the top. Because a lot of those ones like Rainforest Cafe, it's like more for kids. But like I would still love if a place did like a like a rainforest theme with like some thunderstorms and like little like animal things all about like nothing. Like, it doesn't have to be crazy, but it's still, like, pretty fun. Yeah, I think the Rainforest Cafe problem is like, you'll be sitting there trying to have a conversation in the background.

I'll be like, oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! You're like, oh, my God. Yeah, or they could have, like, specified areas for it, like the depths of the jungle. It's like where you put, like, families or kids, it's going crazy in there, but you can go to, like, the nice part, or it's just kind of like a chill rainforest. L.A. has a lot of those now. We have one that is a Star Wars-themed one, but it's not legally, Star Wars. It's a cantina. It's a scum and villainy.

And it's kind of neat. It's kind of fun. It's like a lot of people show up to go there just to like take photos and stuff, which kind of ruins the vibe. And then there's one that's like a fallout theme. There's one that's a Harry Potter theme. There's one that is kind of like a horror wine bar. So it's a wine bar, but it's like horror themed. There's all sorts of different cool ones here.

There's a lot of neat stuff. That is pretty cool. Yeah. I mean, if you ever come back to L.A., I would take you to an entire themed town. Solvang, it's about two hours north of L.A. It's like a themed Danish town, but it has all sorts of little weird themed things. You can get like a lot of beer and sausage and stuff, but there's also that horror wine bar I mentioned. There's all sorts of weird stuff there that I think would be really fun to do.

Plus, it's like super chill. mostly it's old families and like Asian tourists and that's it Oh yeah I see it's Solvang And you can get great Bakery stuff or Last time I was there

I got like a beer and sausage And the vibe was so chill that Where we were sitting Because it's all picnic table sitting Where we were sitting this whole family Want to sit there and they were like hey This table's open If you guys move there and let us have this picnic table

We'll buy you beer And we were like, okay. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, it was super, super chill vibes. So, yeah, everyone there's great. Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. I was your, uh, hold on, I just, I got distracted because I was looking at chomp. And they have like a big, I don't know if it's a chocolate dinosaur or something there.

It's in Solvang. Yeah, yeah. There's also, there's a lot of chocolatiers and candy places and restaurants. and, you know, there's little hotels and things if you want to stay there. I don't know why you would, but it's like up in the mountains. It's a drive to get up there.

Interesting. Yeah, that's pretty cool. How was your day off, or did you get sick that day? Well, so I took the day off. I wasn't sick yet. But I took the day off and it was fine. I did absolutely nothing of value.

I got new glasses, which hilariously, so I got a new, I had to do everything because I guess I hit a birthday where they were like, you must change everything about yourself, Jesse. So I had to go get a new driver's license, which it was a long wait to do. It took three hours to actually get to the counter. But when I got there, it took, I'm going to say six minutes to get my license. It was crazy.

But yeah, they made me take a photo. And when I got my new license, the me from six years ago versus the me from now, dude, it's dramatic. I am going to keep my old license so I never get that big again. Like a motivation. Honest to God, it was crazy looking. I was like, whoa!

So, yeah, I even showed my mom the other day and she was like, I'm so proud of you. But then I also went and got new glasses, and now I can't tell whether they did the glasses wrong or the prescription or the lens or something about it is so different.

And it wasn't that different, to be honest. It was barely different. But when I wear my new glasses, I see more reflections. And I don't know if they forgot to put the coating on it or not, and it's stressing me out. And I'm like, oh, do I have to go back? But then I put on my old glasses to test,

and it wasn't that much of a difference. So I don't, I feel like I'm getting my own head. It's that kind of weak. It's that kind of craziness going on. Yeah. No, that makes sense. I see. So it's been a lot.

of that this entire week. And then I just, you know, sat around and did achievements while I was sick in video games. And that felt pretty good. That's, uh, I'm gonna say glasses just sound annoying. Yeah, I mean, getting new glasses is a pain in the ass. Because no matter what, even if it's a very small change in your prescription, you will get like a, um, your eyes will have to adjust. the light will be different. The way the lens is shaped is a little different.

And while it's not too big of a deal for me right now, at least wearing them, I feel fine. Again, looking in my monitor while recording and doing stuff, I'm seeing really detailed images of my screen in my glasses. And I don't recall that being the case before, but maybe it's just because I'm seeing better. You know what I mean? I mean, that's true.

It could just be from the prescription. Yeah. But also I'm stressing over like, well, maybe because I have a light in this room. And when I angle my head differently, I see a little glow of the light. So I was like, huh. All right. So I went and got my old glasses, angled my head the exact same way. And while it looks a little different, it's still there.

But I can't tell. You know, it's like, it's that kind of thing. I don't know if they screwed up or I'm just crazy. So I'm just patiently waiting to find out. It could be either one. It really could be. Yeah, because it's, I've just, I've never had glasses. Host woman has glasses and it's always like, it can be annoying to deal with it.

So like as somebody who is constantly injured, I'm glad I got something that works. Yeah. I mean, like I love the, I like glasses as like an accessory for my face. When I don't have them on, I feel weird. Yeah. So I enjoy them. And I don't think it ever gets contacts, but it is weird. to get new glasses,

which is why the new ones I got are almost identical. I dare anyone to tell the difference between my old glasses and these. Do you have them on the latest geekenders? No, no, I just picked them up this weekend. Ah, I see.

Yeah, yeah. No one will be able to tell. They will be in the newest episode of too old for this, and I promise no one will notice the difference. There's like slight changes but I like the

whatever the tortoise shell or whatever that's called so almost all my glasses end up looking roughly the same oh yeah I see what you mean it's like the little like spots on the glasses right

yeah yeah yeah it's like both blonde and burnet kind of vibes so I think it matches my hair pretty well and so I like it I like it a lot I'm not a big sucker for giant frames

Although in the past I've seen frames that have that dual color where like the top part is one thing and the bottom part is another And one of them was gray and I kind of thought like You know, maybe I hit that dad vibe eventually Like I get a pair where I have that sort of like Old Man Jesse vibe and I really lean into it But glasses are expensive so I'm not going to do that That's true

I mean that's like Dodger she like went full grandma Yes I don't like that one I don't like clear glasses I don't like the wireframe ones Back in the day I used to have them But the more I've been away from them The more I'm like Not for me

Yeah that makes sense I mean that's you know That's anything people style changes as they get older Yeah yeah yeah I It definitely has like a younger vibe to it For some reason Bigger thicker glasses scream like I'm an adult now

And I don't know why I have no idea why that is But that's how I feel That makes me think of like the Oh god what is it like the old like 90s or like 80 Or the nerds would have the really thick glasses And they're just like hey point Dexter get over here And he's like yeah his glass is like super thick

That's honestly that's how I like sunglasses Normal glasses don't care Sunglasses the bigger the thicker the better I don't know why Maybe it feels like it's protecting your eyes or something Maybe I actually like my sunglasses to be even like Wider of a lens or I guess like bigger of a lens.

So it covers more of my eye. I don't know. Something about it, I feel like, I don't even want you to see me existing, man. So don't even look into my eyes. Yeah. Wait, have you ever wore contacts? Um, I did years ago.

Uh, boy, I think probably high school I tried them out. And, uh, yeah, I'm, my ADD, I can't do it. I'll forget to take them out. I'll just go to bed and I'll wake up and they'll be like, my eyes will be on fire and I'm like, what's rah? Yeah, no, I'm, I tried it once and that was enough. I'm over it. I don't like having to poke myself on the eye.

Yeah, that's fair. That is, I don't think I could do it either. I mean, I get it if you're like, you know, aesthetically, you think glasses make you look goofy. But I'll be honest. I think I have like a glasses fetish. I don't know what's up, but like, ladies plus glasses hot. Ladies minus glasses still hot, but plus glasses, hot. I can't explain it.

So you just like the librarian. Honestly, yes. Oof. Or I discovered there's something called dark, dark academia. I think that's what that's called. Oh, dark academia. Where it's like a sexy professor

or sexy like school outfit. But it's like, you know, a little Gothic. I like that. I like that a lot. So you're just one Gothic librarian. Uh, yeah, but like Gothic mommy teacher vibes. Like your assignments late. You know, like that kind of, that kind of vibe.

Yeah, I see. I'm sure. I love all you just went. Yeah, no, I get it. Thank you for being so understanding. I feel like you're constantly morphing and shifting your ideal thing. Well, I have no ideal thing. I think people should understand that now.

You know what? That's true. If I did, it would be so much easier to find, like, I'd probably be married by now. Let's That's like with food When someone's like what's your favorite thing to eat? And I'm like, I don't know I get the pens

Like some days I'm like Oh man I really want this thing I love this thing And then the next day I'm like actually you know what I'd rather think it's something else That things whatever right It's like your your tastes And everything can shift all the time

Agreed I absolutely I don't know I for some reason right now Plaid It's so crazy but like A plaid skirt, count me interested. Damn.

He's in his plaid face. I'm in my plaid face. Speaking of the too old for this, it's kind of related to this in a really funny way. I don't want to spoil any of it, but I want to like brace you for it. Okay. The guys in the office were like,

hey, have you seen this Twitter post? And I was like, what do you mean? There is a post by a San Francisco polycule that has to be fake. Like, I can't believe it's real. But it's a polycule. looking for a seventh member, and they're asking people to fill out applications online. And I'm not going to go into super detail, but I will read you the poster they posted in, like, I guess, around town.

Also, can you explain a polycule? I did it in the video. I'm so proud. I actually know this now. So polycule, it can be any sort of number of people. beyond two. It's like polyamorous mixed with molecule. So the molecule being the sort of like living situation or relationship situation of these people. And the polyamory thing is like you, you know,

you are engaging in romantic relationships or potentially non with different people, but it's sort of like we all know what's going on. So for example, it could be like, I am dating a girl who is dating another girl, other girl and maybe all three of us get it on, but maybe she has a relationship with this other girl and then she has a relationship with me, but, and we're all friends and we all get it, but like I'm not in a relationship with this other girl, right? It could be that. Or

I'm in relationship with this girl, she's in a relationship with this guy, he's in relationship with someone else, and we're all friends, but we're not, like, I'm not getting on with the guy, you know what I mean? Or maybe I am, like that kind of thing. It's very complicated. It's one of the things I realized right away is like it sounds way too complicated. for me. Absolutely. But what they're saying is seeking new polycule member, we recently had a defector in our polycule, which I was like, what do you mean? It's like Scientology.

Right. And it's like, we are seeking a new member. A bit about us. Fun loving, diverse, rag-tag, bunch of lover people. We have long walks on the beach. And this is crazy. In a line or three-four formation, trying new restaurants. We share dishes, family style, of course.

and watching romantic comedies chosen by majority vote while we cuddle up on our XL couch. Already it seems like a lot. I was like, okay. Must live on site rent is $1,500 a month, including utilities, must commit exclusively to our pollicle. Absolutely no sneaky links. Any gender welcome must be sexually open to all our members.

5'5 to 510 preferred for practical positioning reasons. Like, what do you? What? What? And then they have a link. And you can click the link to read more and apply. So, of course, I'm too old for this. I clicked the link and I, I didn't apply, but I read more and I wanted to know more.

And that's the episode and it's incredible. I learn a lot, to be honest. But I'm going to say this pollicule seems a little too complicated for me. The deeper I dove, the more I was like, what do you mean? so that's the episode and it'll be a whole thing oh boy it'll be an interesting one to learn about

honestly I was surprised at how open they were about stuff but the more open they get the more I'm like this seems like a cult it's it's like a little fun cult that people make themselves and then I think it gets more complicated the longer they're together

and there's always like there's always like relationship problems and issues, then the more people you're adding in, it just feels like it gets crazier and crazier. Dude, I don't even understand the concept of like dating multiple people. It sounds like too much work for me. One person is more like,

that's enough. Like if you're going to commit to someone, great, because other than that, like I don't know how you pull it off. To everyone out there, like in the dating pool, dating multiple people trying to find the right one for you, I don't know how you do that and go to work

and have like time for you. yourself. I just don't get it. It sounds like so much work. Yeah. Like if people can pull it off, more power to them, but I don't think. And this is they're looking for a total of seven. I'm like bra. You mean I have to care about six other people to a degree

that like, I know everything about them. Other likes and loves and what's like, that's too much. I can't even raise an animal. Yeah, you can't even like figure out a calendar. I have plants, dude. I had one plant I left for a month and it

died. Yeah, but was it between 5-5 and 5-10? I actually kind of love that it's between 5-5 and 5-10. It does sound a little psychotic, but I also, I kind of love that. Yeah, it's, they know what they want. It's, yeah. The reasoning's crazy. The reasoning is a little weird.

The whole, for practical positioning reasons, that's a little strange. That is weird. That's of all the reasons. Yeah. You know what? They know what they want, and I'm proud of them for it. It's like, all right. Yeah. Well, it'll be fun.

I just, I click, I Google it as well. It's just like, the latest craze. It's like, all right. I feel like, I don't know if it's necessarily a craze, but I feel like it's one of those things that on the internet is getting a lot of traction because people are curious about what it is. Yeah, that makes sense. They hear it and they're like, wait a minute.

These are people that have relationships with more than one person. And they wonder like, what's going on there? Or probably some people are like, damn, how they luck out or you know, whatever. But as far as I can tell, it doesn't seem sort of, well, never mind. I was about to say, it doesn't seem like some sort of orgy situation. However, when you dive further into the link, they do insist. They have a whole list of things you must have done in order to join. And one of them literally is must have done five plus orgies.

And I was like, how are you going to say that? What the other? Five plus, dude. Five plus. That's crazy. Yeah. So, I mean, you know, to each their own, I guess. Yeah.

It does seem like a lot. It does. Yeah. But, you know, I have thoughts at the end of the video. And it's because the more deeper I dive, the more I'm like, wait a minute. Well, that's good. Yeah. It should be fun.

we we played this is like completely off topic we played the total warhammer yesterday that was fun

we did we had sort of a chaotic polycule of our own yeah that's there you go yeah yeah yeah chaotic polycule

there's various rats are a part of the polycule sure that's I believe that's a rat king I think that's what that is yeah I think so

that was good you know tried the wood elves didn't work out And then... Still hate the wood elves. Not a fan. I mean, I don't know why you hate the wood elves so much.

In that game specifically. Yeah, but you said you hated them before that game. It isn't that I hate them in like, um, conceptually in all of Warhammer. Just in video game form, I don't like the way they play. I don't like their starts. I don't like their factions. I don't like anything about them in the game. Ah, okay, I see.

But like, it isn't a, uh, you know, I'm sure in the actual like, Warhammed. You know, the figures are probably cool. They probably play fun. But I'm just saying just in total war. I don't like them. Yeah. No, that makes sense. I get that.

I mean, I play Sylvaneth, which is like the Age of Sigma version of the Wood Elves. And they are a lot of fun. They've got a new book a few months ago. And it's just like you can bring units back. You can like teleport around. You can like overgrow the board with like tree stuff and like spread your, your overgrowth and things.

It's a lot of like thematic. fun things you can do. That's very cool. Like, you know, like I was saying, this past week I was doing achievements. Like I went through and tried my hardest to do all sorts of achievements in both console and PC stuff because I was just stuck at home. And yeah, when I came back, I had a hanker in for Warhammer because I couldn't play on my PC and I started doing achievements.

And now I'm at the point in Total War Warhammer 3 where I have only those achievements. that are like, collect X number of points doing this stupid thing and defeat the game on legendary, which I still can't do because it won't give it to me, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Oh yeah, I remember you mentioned that.

I don't think we had anybody say anything about that either. What's crazy is I've looked it up and people are like, do this thing, and I was like, that's exactly what I did. The problem is I try again, but it takes so hard and it takes so long that I just,

don't have it in me to try. So I'm like, all right, whatever. But they released a new faction, so maybe it's worth trying on that. I don't know. Yeah, you can see. What's the new faction? Lion people, tiger people, and Cathay?

Oh, okay. It's like a tiger lady is the new one. I was like, oh, damn. Oh, I see. Yeah. I think it's like four bucks or something on line. Yeah, they're like a white tiger with like crazy fire swords or something or Fire blades. I have no clue.

I have not played them yet, but I did, I did buy them because I was like, maybe I'll stream that. Plus, I like, you know, I like the game enough that I'll give it a shot. But then everyone reminded me I need to play SIV 7 again because they updated that. So I don't know, man. Oh, yeah. We should do that one weekend. Oh, my God.

I don't know if my soul can take Sib 7. That's true. I need to test it first. It may, it may not be any better. I'll be honest. I don't know. Give it a, give it like an hour play or something. Yeah, I'll have to give it the old test because I'm like.

Like, yeah. Oh my God, you know what I've been playing? Is Yoshi in the Mysterious Book? Is it as cute as I imagine it is? Yes. This is, without a doubt, one of the most Crendor games that's ever been created. Wait, what do you mean? Why? So, it is pretty much a bunch of Yoshis

found a book. And the book was like with Bowser Jr. something and then he's like, wow, and he lost it. And the book's like, oh, I need you to like look through my pages and help me like learn about what's inside because I don't remember or something like that. So pretty much the entire game is going through this book and being like, what's this thing? Yellow magnifying glass and you go to like one of his pages. And he's like, oh, let's find out.

So you click on like one of the creatures and you warp in and then they're like all over a level. And he's like, all right, learn about him. So you like eat one. And he's like, oh, you can't eat these. they're too like prickly and then you like pick one up and put it on your back and it's like oh you can have them right on back of you Yoshi and then you like fly around being like and then like they start singing notes and it's like ooh this creature sings music and it like impacts the environment and it's pretty much just doing that there was one creature that was just

fishing and all I did was like put them on my back and you could like fish uh it's really just a game about exploration and like adventure. Like that's really, there's no like, yeah, there's no like, defeat a boss or, you know, like, get better

weapons, get better gear, like, make it, and I think that's why there's some people that don't like it. So I've seen some reviews be like, ah, you know, it's okay or whatever, but it's, for me, it's a 10 out of 10. It's a phenomenal game. And it's, it really is just like a chill,

adventure exploration game. It also looks really cute. Like just visually, it's very charming. Yeah. No, it's, if you go to my Crendor Vod's channel,

I put up the streams of me playing it so far, and it's just like, it's just a fun time. It's a little like frog man. And one of the fun parts is after you discover a creature and learn about it,

he's like, all right, we can name it now. What do you want to name it? And you could ask him his recommendation or name it something. You want, so he'll be like,

I think we should call it, uh, goobble-goobbles or something. And you could be like, no, I want to call it like boobbles. And he's like, that's good. So it's, he'll give you like an actual recommendation. Then later in the game, they can reference that thing again. Like, oh, no, the gobble gobbels are getting attacked by the new thing we don't know about. It's like, go help them and things like that. It's just, it's, it's very good.

I love this game. It's so funny. Just, I'm watching footage of someone with the fisherman on his back and he's just sitting there fishing. And I'm like, yeah, no, this is a Crendor game all right. Yeah. No, it's, it's very much a Crendor game. And I can see how some people wouldn't like it. Like I know someone like, like the, the Sam and G-Marts and all them, they're just like, what am I doing? Where's the progression? Right? Where's the like Dark Souls mechanics? But that's not what this is. This is just a fun exploration adventure game. That's cute. Yeah, I, it's fun to see all these weird games on

switch, like Tomodachi Life. Everyone's sending me clips of they're like, they're like, I put you in my game. And it's hilarious every time. I don't know what this game actually is, but they'll have just people talk to each other and they'll post the comments online and they are very funny. And I just don't, it looks so cute. I don't understand it. But man, I love all the footage of it. It's very much kind of like an animal Crossing-esque game, but with more control and kind of more open-endedness for chaos. So that's pretty much what I've seen. It also allows you for a lot of creativity with it, too, which I think is why a lot of people

like it. It's weird that you can get them to talk about things that are relevant to you. Like, I got sent one that is a video clip of myself talking to a. another Final Fantasy 14 community member about something in the game. And it's so relevant and so silly, I don't understand how they did it. Like, I don't know what information they put in to make the game have the conversation. But it's amazing. I just don't get how it happened.

Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, it's, yeah, I don't know. I just know that in the Tomodachi somewhat, I think Ben, Angie made me and he made like a bunch of streamer people. And then it was me and Dave. And then we just were named goonmate one and goonmate two. And then they just talked about gooning. And then everyone in the chat was like, dude, what the hell is happening?

And he's just laughing. I mean, that's what I'm saying. Like, how do they know what to talk about? What input information do they have? Or is it, it can't be a natural thing the game just figured out. I think there are some things the game puts in there. but there has to be some player input type of thing otherwise yeah I don't know

I don't know either I haven't like actually played it enough I've seen like people playing it everything I've seen seems hilarious like it seems like such a funny game to just play and then see insane stuff happening but I don't understand how that insane stuff happens it really is a mystery to me yeah

it really is uh yeah I was gonna try out Subnotica too. Good luck. I know you're not going to play that one. I hate that the ads for that game are lying as hell. Like, the ads show like, live underwater. Can you survive?

And it's like building a home and building aquariums. And this very fun thing, that's not that game. That's a lie. That is a lie of an ad. That game is a horror game where when you swim, giant monsters eat you. And the fact that Des are like, we'd rather you not fight the creatures.

So there is no combat. How dare you? How dare you? No thank you. Also, we had a stormfall on geekenders, and she was saying that while playing, when a creature that can eat you is stalking you, the game is like,

you are being hunted. No, dude. No. No, thank you. I mean, I'm mainly trying it because I was going to, try it and I was like I don't know and then a Twitch Bounty thing popped up and it was like play it for an hour for money. Never mind.

Get that money. You get that money. Hold on. Do I have a Twitch bounty? Hold on now. Hold on now. I may play if I get paid for it. Yeah. I mean it's not like a bunch compared to like normal sponsors by like hey you know what? I get the game for free and they'll pay me something. Oh yeah. Play some Nautica

too. No longer available. Well, you missed out. Well, that's cool man. Yep. No, I always keep my eyes open for those Twitch bounties. That's mainly for the ones where they're just like watch something or play a game that's like a popular game. Those that I don't do the ones that are like play mobile masters for. I'm like, I don't give a shit. Like whatever the last thing I care about. It's crazy because some of these are like available till May 26, available to May 29th.

And it's like, sorry, not for you. Like, oh, okay. Cool, man. Sometimes people abandon them and then they like pop up again. Yeah, I also have to create a profile. Oh, my lord. All right. That's all process. I saw stream elements was like dying or something. Yeah, I guess they're dead.

Yeah. I mean, that's what's going to happen when Twitch is literally like, oh, people are using stream elements. Great. We're going to steal all their stuff. Yeah, they really did. You just use Twitch's thing. They did the old Blizzard shuffle, man. They were like, oh, you guys like that thing.

Well, now it's an our thing. Although it does say that they, got a founder or like a person to give them money to keep them afloat I think whatever that means I feel like it's way too late at this point yeah I don't know well it said it's it feels like you can't announce that you're done and then come back and still have any impact I mean like some people will probably still use it but I don't know that people are going to seek it out now they said I guess a lot of people already use it so they would just like stay with it, I guess more than anything.

I will say stream element sponsored things are like absolute garbage. Yeah, the stream element sponsorships are like, play for two hours and we'll give you $25. I'm like, what? Yeah. No. Or worse, the ones that are like, we have a CPM. Every time someone clicks this link, I'm like, no. I hate that.

That's the worst one where they're like, it's on you to make the money by getting them to click the link. It's like, no, no, no. That's not how this works. And we'll pay you a bit more if they actually sign up and play, like that type of thing. It's so dumb. I hate that. It's as of May 21st, it says they're not shutting down and they're in conversation with an amazing partner aligned around one thing, working in the interest of creators and the community. That is absolutely not true. There's no way someone comes in to save a company and is like, it's for the people. I don't believe that. It's because they're like, we can probably make some money here.

Yeah. They're not like me when I say, oh, I want to sponsor an indie game, and I have a 50-50 shot of it making any money. I'm like, yeah, well, we'll see what happens. I am not the greatest investor. I like investing in things I love, and sometimes things I love, other people do not give a shit about. Yep.

Heroes of the Storm, e-sport. Yep, that's one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a few games we've released where they have not sold even remotely enough to make any money back. And I'm like, all right, well, at least I did a thing at least you had fun

doing something you know a game you enjoyed or like hey you know what I'm glad it got made even if it didn't do well I mean that's the crapshoot of it sometimes you'll make a thing and you won't understand why anyone cares

and sometimes you'll make a thing and you know it will it will succeed and you'll be like oh alright yeah I don't know much like a lot of things in life honestly Yeah, yeah.

You just got to take a chance and create stuff you love. And sometimes people will care. Yeah. And thank God people still care about this podcast. That's shocking to me. It's shocking. Yeah. The thing is like, when we started this podcast, there's like 50 podcasts out there.

There's like no. But now it's like everybody has a podcast, even like your neighbor has a podcast. That's literally true. Yeah, I mean, I don't even know what their numbers are over there. I just know they're dumping money into the production. They spend so much, I genuinely have no idea how they make any money. Honestly, I get more surprised by people making money off of like their short stuff, like the YouTube shorts and the TikToks and all that.

So I'm like, I think the only way to make money off that is like sponsors and like plugging other things you do. That's what's crazy is going over the Drusky stuff. dude is like Instagram creator TikTok shorts he makes like two minute videos in my mind I'm like these are so expensive to make how did he make money originally and I guess he just blew up and people threw money at him is the best thing I can imagine

I mean I've seen him on like draft kings that's what I'm saying he's been in music videos and shit like I guess sometimes you're famous enough that even if your content doesn't make money you will still make money from other sources Yeah, well, there's plenty of that. I mean, there's streamers like that. They don't even get as many subs or other stuff,

but I'll still see them getting sponsors and all these things, which is probably why they view bot to keep the sponsor money high. That's real, dude. The amount of viewbotting that is just there so they can get sponsors, and then they use the sponsor money to buy more viewbots. Yeah. That's crazy. Or just invested into their streaming stuff,

then they write it all off on their taxes. Yeah, I don't I mean, look, I guess if you're gonna play the game, play the game, but that's much like a polycule. Too much work for me. Yeah, that's the polycule of content creation.

Yeah. But, you know what? Games are fun. Oh, boy. Ones that you play with Hero Forge, nailed it. We talk about Hero Forge all the time on this show.

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I love that sensation. I love the feeling of knowing what's going on. while also being able to enjoy what I'm listening to. And what's great, I've tested this. I've cranked up the volume on these things to be like, hey, can you hear these? Because you would think if it's outside your ear, people would be able to hear what's going on.

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Oh, my God. The traffic don't get me started. It's terrible. You would think these gas prices are keeping people off the rest of. roads, but they're not. They're still out there. In fact, it feels like there's even more cars, but we've talked about that in previous episodes. And, uh, you know,

it's just, it's summertime. People are going to go where they're going to go. It's like, uh, people complain about the hot dog prices at the stadium where they're just like $11 for a hot dog. What is this? And then they pay it, right? It's just, you know, it is what it is. Thank you.

All right. Let's go to weather. Weather. Weather time. All right, let's see where we land on. Someone who said weather request, weather request, weather request, weather request, they put seven weather requests for their... But no actual request. Well, they put a request, but they're scamming the system.

I'm not going to allow you to scam the system, all right? You get one weather request into the lottery. Damn, dude. Prender putting his foot down. Otherwise, everybody's going to start doing weather requests. We're going to have like every comment, like just stacked with weather requests. like 10 years to cycle through these. All right.

You get one weather request. All right. I'll go another one. All right. I got Inver Cargill, New Zealand. We have the southernmost Starbucks, Pizza Hut, subway, McDonald's, and Burger King

in the world. We invented instant coffee. Keith Richards once called us the arsehole of the world and we're not near Papua New Guinea. That, I mean, okay, all right. Although I feel like further south of that is Oban, which seems like that seems like if Inver Cargill is the ass crack of the world, Oban is like a dingleberry. You know, they might have that on a shirt in their gift shop. currently in Inver Cargill

47 degrees Fahrenheit Feels like 44 degrees Fahrenheit High of 54 low of 44 Chance of rain 2% The winds at 6 miles an hour North Northwest humidity 91% UV index 1 Air quality 51 which is moderate

Dewpoint 44 pressure 30.23 inches 7 miles visibility, 8.11 a.m. sunrise, 5.13 p.m. sunset. 2.13 p.m. moon rise. 2.37 a.m. moon set. Dude, this is what I mean. The moon rise, in this one, makes a lot

more sense than the other one we did. I mean, they're barely on the planet, though, dude, so, like, you can't trust the information on that. That's, you know what? True. And it's a waxing gibbous, moon phase. 10-day.

To Monday, 54, cloudy skies, high of 54 degrees Fahrenheit, winds at 10 to 15 miles an hour with some rainfall at night time. Around a half an inch. Tuesday, 49 a.m. clouds, p.m. sun, Wednesday, 52, mostly sunny. Thursday, 51, p.m. showers. Friday, 51 a.m. showers. Saturday, 51 a.m. fog. Sunday, 58. Mostly cloudy. Monday, 57 showers. and Tuesday 54 PM showers It's actually A little bit chillier there

I thought it was gonna be warmer Nope I mean it's real far south That makes sense It's like You're just traveling to Antarctica It is

Hold on let's see here Oh yeah Wow look at that Plus it's the it's the other side of the equator. So what would it be? Like wintery now? We're heading into winter months.

It's like wintery now there. I just, I thought it's like Australia's really hot, right? Everyone's always like, yeah, but I imagine in there more summer months, very hot. But this is in Australia. This is New Zealand and it's way south of Australia.

Yeah, but it's like lined up with like Argentina, you know? I mean, sure. It's pretty hot there. But also, it's lined up with the southern part of Argentina, which is not that hospitable. Oh, yeah. Listen, this shows how much I know about the global. Look, I could be wrong. We get a message from New Zealand to be like, you guys are stupid as hell, and I'd be fine with that.

Let's see, average temperature. I will say, there's a lot of, like, I don't know, there's something about this that the more I look at, the more I'm like, I kind of want to just visit two. just have said I did it. Yeah. And to go to Bill Richardson Transportation World and classic motorcycle

mecca. Oh yeah, it says here January and February you're like 68 to 86 degrees Fahrenheit. And then pretty much the rest of the year is like 50 to 60s at Fahrenheit, which

honestly that's not too bad because like if it's going to get cold. It's just always kind of like a moderate cold. I wonder if it rains a lot. I would imagine so. Also shout out to Super Liquor Southland. It is interesting.

There's like, there are taverns and there's a lot of sushi and like takeaway places. I see McDonald's. I see Pizza Hut. There's the delightful looking bakery. Bakerets? Bakerays?

Um, But there's also fat bastard pies. Oh yeah, I see that. Fat bastard pies. They're meat pies. I was going to look for like a cherry pie, but they are meat and shrimp and stuff like that. But like, all right, I like a good meat pie. I'm not a hater.

The auction house is a, okay, that's kind of fun. The pizza looks insane. I'm just going to say the pizza looks crazy, but all the food looks a little crazy. and I'm kind of here for it. Yeah, there we go. That is. Wait? Uh-oh.

I clicked the McDonald's. Oh, dude, the McDonald's has like, uh, the first image. I don't even know what that's supposed to be. Yeah, it's like pork or something with like refried beans. Wait a minute. That's for Bombay Palace Indian restaurant. Yeah, what the, why is that here? That's not even McDonald's.

They're advertising other restaurants on the McDonald's. Although they do have a honeycomb. McFlurry, that's probably delicious. That does sound, it's got to be a New Zealand thing. Do you think they have a brecky wrap? Oh, 100%. They got to have a brecky wrap.

At Maccas. Oh yeah, they call it Macca's. I got Macca's Brecky Wrap. Although that's Australia. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, it's close enough. Although, man, the kids seem to be loving it. But da-da-b-bub-bub.

Yep. The kids are loving it. And there we go. That's the weather. Okay, let's go to sports. Sports time. We've got the NBA playoffs currently happening, which is the Knicks are beating the Cavaliers 3-0 in that series. They've got to win one more.

So it looks like the Knicks might be going to the NBA finals. And then the San Antonio Spurs and the Oklahoma City Thunder playing game four right now. Spurs currently up by five in that game, but it's the first quarter. And Oklahoma City is up to one in the series, so the Spurs really need this game. Then in the NHL, we've got the Avalanche and the Golden Knights playing each other. And currently Vegas up to nothing in that series. And they're up, oh, they're losing one nothing right now in game three.

So we'll see. And then in the other side, we got the Canadians and the Hurricanes tied at one to see who goes to the Stanley Cup. lost sadly against the Canadians. Rip. But at least they were good again this year. That's fun. Then FIFA closing in again.

Apparently, Arsenal Lifts Premier League trophy after 22 year wait. I don't know what that means, but I've heard of the Premier League. I imagine they won the trophy. I guess Lyft is like they won and held it above their head. I don't know. Well, I figured that. It's just I don't know what the...

I've heard of the Premier League. but I don't know like what you have you not watched Ted? Ted Lasso? Crendor you should go watch Ted Lasso It's like too many things I'm supposed to watch Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah Go either get one free month of

Or pay for one month of Apple TV Go watch Ted Lasso It's great it's great You and Toast will love it All right Am I'll learn about the Premier League You will you will learn everything you ever want to know about football.

All right. And then Aaron Rogers returning to the Steelers. He's back again. Oh boy. Oh, boy. And Mike McCarthy's there now, so they're reforming the 2010 Packers, but not young. But at the Steelers, right, yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure that will go well. It'll be fine. There'll be no problems whatsoever. Yeah, no problems at all. And baseball, we got games being played in baseball. We got the Tampa Bay Rays in first, Cleveland Guardians in first, the athletics in first, Atlanta Braves in first, the Milwaukee Brewers in first, and the Dodgers in first because the Dodgers.

And that's sports. Okay, what is our fact of the day? Fact of the day. Romans used urine as a surprising dental tool. Okay. Ancient Romans used urine. is mouthwashed due to ammonia's cleaning and whitening properties, understanding basic chemistry for hygiene. Great question.

Now it says the Roman government taxed urine collection, indicating its significant economic value as a commodity for cleaning and whitening. Portuguese urine was favored for dental care due to its perceived higher potency and effectiveness in cleaning. You know that's some like the Portuguese tourism board. Whoever was in charge of that, you know, that part of the empire was like, oh, no, we are, the pee here is of highest quality. Get me Portuguese urine. Can you imagine some like Roman senator sitting on some chair and he's yelling at his slaves because he's like, bring me Portuguese pee. They probably had like, they probably captured some Portuguese people and just made them pee and stuff. Yeah.

Oh my God. Can you imagine if that's what your life was? They were like, you will serve your lord as the pea master. That's some game of throne shit, honestly. That's crazy. Wait, so I am Matt, do they just collect all the urine and then put it in like a urine thing? And then you just like got whatever urine you got? I guess.

Now I'm worried. Now I'm worried I'm going to learn that there's like the fresher, the pee, the better. You know what I mean? Like, I don't like this. Don't like this whole thing. It says urine's ammonia content act as a, a chemical bleaching agent, a sophisticated method for achieving a white smile before modern

abrasives, and the practice of using urine for dental hygiene persisted until the 18th century, appearing in medical pecks as a legitimate treatment. The Roman word, lodium for urine, is the root of lotion showing its historical use in washing and skin treatment.

I need all those dudes on the internet who are like Roman guys, you know what I mean? Like the Roman guys? Yeah, the Roman Empire guys. I need those guys who are like, we should bring it back the days of old. I need them to sit down and really think about it. Listen, there's, there's a guy on TikTok that drank pond water

until he got Giardia. And he ended up getting Giardiya. And he hasn't posted since. So, I mean, if you're telling somebody that they have to like, drink pee or wash your mouth with pee, they'll probably do it. There's some people who will do it.

Cool. I mean, there are people who do it. It's a whole thing out there. It's just wild to me because the implication is that there's a certain type of pee that works best. We already established that. Or at least they were told that's the case of what they did. But then I have to imagine there's quality levels of that pee. And I'm curious about the freshness or how did they, was it prepared?

What, like, I don't. Did people have to drink certain things? Their body prepared. I just have questions and it's all uncomfortable. I'll be honest. Yeah. No, it's kind of weird, but like, it's one of those things we're like, okay, I see why they did it. But at the same time, it is weird.

Yeah, it's like when you hear a doctor say, if you do pee in the shower on your feet, it's a disinfectant thing. but it is still peeing in the shower on your feet. You know what I mean? It's still, it doesn't sound like a thing you should do. Yeah. But then, you know, some people are paying extra for that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah.

So, I don't know. Yeah. There we go. That was our fact of the day. That was a fact. All right. It was. All right, who has come to us with tears in their eyes?

We've got tears. Wee landing on Dear illustrious sirs with tears in my eyes And happy birthday to Jesse I'd like to know what yearly traditions Do you guys do for your birthday? I do nothing I hate celebrating my birthday

The fact that I went out to a tiki bar Was only because I had never been And I needed to go And I could get a good reservation for my birthday That's it They were happy to help me accommodate My reservation for my birthday specifically Other than that, I don't.

I'm not a big fan of it. Maybe every four or five years I'll do something fun for other people. Or I'll stream and do like a charity thing. Or I don't. Or I'll buy things for friends. I don't like the attention of a birthday. I hate it. Damn.

That's a, I think there's a lot of people like that though. I'm sure it's some sort of psychological nonsense, but I just, it's not for me. I don't know why. personally I love my birthday it's a lot of fun I'm the complete opposite of Jesse the thing is like I like it with like just chilling here

like me and poster woman and like hanging out cat right like our own thing because then what usually happens is on my birthday I'll like stream for a bit and be like hey everybody it's my birthday I'm streaming

to make money. And then people are like, yo, there's some money. And I'm like, dude, thanks. And then we go out to eat at a place I want to eat at.

And then, like, you know, go somewhere, like walk around the mall, walk around outside somewhere, like whatever. And then I'll come back and stream a bit more.

And then we'll watch Spirited Away, which I've done every year for years now on my birthday. That's like my birthday movie. Love Spirited Away. And then, The next day, we usually go out with, like, my family to a place, like a restaurant or whatever. And usually that's more stressful because my family's there and just dealing with them.

But, you know, so that's, it's kind of like a full on two birthday day. In fact, I think last year, we even like went out somewhere the day before. So it was like a birthday weekend. So I don't know. It was full on birthday weekend, dude. That's awesome. I love that. Yeah.

See, here's the thing. I would happily celebrate that with other people if it was their birthday. But if it's my birthday for some reason, I'm out. But I'm down for other people's birthdays being delightful. Would you say it's because you're trying to make other people happy, but then with yourself? Oh, yes. No, that's my inherent problem is I consistently must make others happy. Yes.

Yeah. But then with yourself, you don't care about making yourself happy. In fact, I'm happy by making others happy. Damn. There it is. I get enjoyment from the joy of others, which is probably why I'm in the job I'm in. Yeah. Yeah, my thing is I enjoy, I would say I enjoy more helping people waste their time and forget about their problems. That's what I'm about.

And if that makes them happy, then I'm like, nice. Two sides of the same coin. That's what I always think. I'm like, man, I want to watch this YouTube video or the stream or whatever to just like forget. about my pain, forget about whatever's going on in my life or whatever, and then, you know, you offer that. I think that's a nice escape, and that's what I'm here for. I'm here to help you escape and forget about reality by showing you grass in World Warcraft.

Yeah. Or, you know, failing the place gavin in total war. So, dear illustrious sirs with tears in my eyes and a totally unrelated, exasperated sigh crossing my lips, I ask of you. If you could send a single sentence warning or instruct. to every member of a fandom, which fandom would you address and what would you send as your message? This one's easy. If you're a fan of The Amazing Digital Circus, you don't have to look online. Yeah.

That's my message. I am so sick and tired of people freaking out over, like they're yelling at Gooseworks about the movie and people stealing and spoiling stuff about the movie. but Gooseworks didn't do nothing. Yeah. Why are you not yelling at the person who went out and like put bootleg photos online and stuff? Like that don't like, I'm not going to get spoiled. I'm not going to look up that information. And when I see stuff that's even remotely related, I'm like, don't want to see it.

Yeah. No, it's that's why Gooseworks has like lost their mind. Yeah, absolutely. Like I never want to do anything ever again. I'm like, damn, what the hell? Yeah. I mean, honestly, I'd probably feel like that too if you're constantly going to be. getting bombarded with it.

It is something I think people don't understand. I think we're on that sort of end of the creator side, which is when it's just you when you're creating, if a random person sends you something, that random person is one person. And in their mind, they just sent you how they feel. But when enough people send you how they feel,

it feels like a wall of emotions and rage or concern or whatever. Just like a wall of information is headed your way and it's really hard to navigate and you will not understand how to do it the first time, second time, even third time around. Like it's just, it's not necessarily that people are malicious, but because they're one person

and they're expressing themselves, they are not thinking about the cumulative effect of all those people. Yeah. No, yeah, that definitely makes sense. And it's just, it, it, It can drive somebody insane. And I think it might have driven gooseworks insane. Maybe.

Like, I feel bad because they clearly put their heart into everything. And so, yeah, it's people are complaining on the internet. And I guess we'll find out in June what actually the end is. But I'm not going to go spoil myself. I'm not a fool. No, I'm not doing that. I can wait. I've already waited.

I mean, we waited a lot longer or a lot less longer than other people. We started watching it, like, not even a year ago. And honestly, you know. for a fact there's going to be people that hate the ending no matter what. No matter what it is. There's going to be people like they didn't do my ending or my theories are incorrect. They're like, this is this is dumb. What's the what's the play?

Or someone will have called the ending and people will be like, oh, they just took this idea. Or oh, it was so dumb because it's just this thing that already people said was going to happen. Of course it's going to be something like that. Or like some fan. There's only so many possibilities in a show where they've spelled out everything. You know what I mean? Yeah. Or I've even seen people be like, if they don't give my favorite character something, then I'm going to be mad.

They should give all the characters the same amount of like, you know, focus. And it's just like, dude, what? I don't know. I would tell everyone that was watching Game of Thrones, like, just stop in season five. You know, just like, hey, you know what? I think season five is a good place to stop. Just like, you know, chill there. Don't watch anymore.

Honestly, stop where the books end. Yeah, exactly. I think that was season five, which is why I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that's when the writers of Hollywood started getting their hands on the writing. Here's my, I'd add to that. Stop at season five, then go watch Night of the Seven Kingdoms. There you go.

Which is a delightful show from start to finish. Absolutely great. Exactly. You know what? We only got the one other dear illustrious, sir. I'll do it because it's also very quick, I think. Dear illustrious, sir, as I come to you with tears of my eyes

and a spoonful of Florida sugar in my mouth, how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Three. I was going to say four. You know what? Three, four wood. Three four wood. Three four wood.

And that's your dear illustrious sir. Hey. All right. is our big news story of the day. Big news story of the day. Hey. Hey. This one got sent to us.

And it is a story, all right. North Carolina Biscuit Bandit breaks in the Popeyes at 5am and starts cooking. Yo, yo, I feel this. A Biscuit Bandit. I love that. I love that. You know what? Yeah, biscuit bandit's great. That's, I love a good name for a bandit.

Yeah, that's, they can be added to the, the Cox and Crendor villain arsenal. If it turns out to be Tito Watts, I would be, I'd be like, yeah, no, it checks out. It's like, it's like, it's like, who's at it this time? Oh, the biscuit bandit. I should have known. A biscuit bandit is being hunted in North Carolina after the desperado broke into a Popeye's at 5 a.m. and started cooking menu items. It happened around 5 a.m. Thursday, May 21st.

Right, no, we were aware. Yeah, did you know it was 5 a.m. though? I think it was 5 a.m. at the time. I'm not sure if it was. In Westgate City Boulevard, Greensboro, North Carolina, and the rogue fry cook managed to get in and out before staff showed up. Restaurant opens at 10 a.m. That man had five hours of bliss.

He really did. Quote, well, we've heard of the wet bandits and stick. bandits. We never come across a biscuit bandit. I don't know what the hell a sticky bandit is. I don't like that. I don't know what a wet bandit is either. What's a wet bandit? I don't know. You know what? What's happening in Greensboro?

Yeah. I don't know how to control over there. Too many bandits. We've dealt with the wet bandits. We dealt with those sticky bandits. I still got sap on me from them. But these biscuit bandits. I hope he's got no honey on him. It'll get sticky. He'll be a wet, sticky biscuit bandit and that's the last thing we need. I wonder if all the bandits worked together to make some sort of like a morning buffet deliciousness. Like a Power Ranger Megasorad of bandits.

Yeah, like they combine to form a complete breakfast. Yeah, that's when they're unstoppable. They have to stop them before that occurs. It was determined that an individual access the inside of the building started cooking shrimp, biscuits, fries, and then stolen other items before leaving. Popeyes is known for its fried chicken, but the menu also includes butterfly shrimp, seasoned in our Louisiana spice blend and perfectly crisp in our southern breading.

Realizing the intrusion was unusual, the police department took an equally unusual approach to addressing it on social media. Quote, To the individual who decided to break into Popeyes and proceeded to cook shrimp and biscuits, then stole a few things, Popeyes and GPD would like you to rate your food experience by contacting us and or Greensboro Crime, crime stoppers. The department's May 22nd Facebook post racked up nearly 9,000

reactions as of May 23rd. Well, imagine getting booked in here in the officer. Read the evidence list. One crowbar, three biscuits and a side of shrimp. Carrie Davis wrote on the Facebook page. Got them, Carrie. You know Carrie Davis was so proud

of that too. She was. I got him. Another one said, if you ever want to solve the debate on whether Popeyes or Chick-fil-A's better, well, nobody ever broken the Chick-fil-A and stopped to eat, Chad Holloman Robinette posted. I will say, though, I wonder, and sorry, Chad, but I feel like the reason why this was a shrimp-in-biscuit situation

and not a chicken situation is I am under this understanding that both inside Popeyes and Chick-fil-A, they do the chicken battering and stuff there. Oh, I see. So it's not frozen brought in. At least that's what I understand. I could be wrong. But I believe the reason why the shrimp and I think that's just easier to do

because they come pre-made. I don't think they're battering shrimp and stuff in a Popeyes. Yeah, I don't think so either. So it probably could just deep fry all that stuff or put the biscuits in the oven, which would be easier, than having to make all the chicken. Like I know at a chick flay They don't have shrimp or whatever

It's just chicken. So I imagine it would be more difficult To do that there. So while Chad has a fine joke, I think it's probably the case That you can't just, you know You can't just do all the chicken. Yeah, although I don't know I got to look it up.

Yeah, look it up. Is Popeye's chicken made? Why would I say Is Popeye's chicken made The first thing it pops up is with pork. What? Who's asking? Who's asking that?

That's a solid question. I got to go back to that. Okay. The Popeye's chickens made fresh there. However, chicken nuggets are pre-bredded and delivered, much like the shrimp. Okay, great. Good to know. So yes, that's probably why there wasn't a chicken thing.

But now I need to know made with pork. What does that mean? Yeah, why would they make it with pork? Doesn't make sense. Popeyes uses pork in several of its side dishes, the Cajun gravy and the red beans and rice. Which, by the way, red beans and rice of Popeye slaps, I'll go to the grave on that one.

But, um, no. The fact that they have to say it's pork-free chicken is insane. Yeah. No, that's crazy. I don't know. I don't know how you do that. I kind of want to try red beans and rice, though. Many locations outside the U.S.

offer halal or pork-free menus. But like, okay, I mean, I guess people were curious if there was, if you don't like pork, you don't want it in your food, but why would it be in the chicken? Yeah, I guess you'd be like, is it in the sides? Like, that would make sense. But like in the chicken? What are they doing?

They're creating like the turducken. Yeah, a lot of people genuinely, five years ago on the Popeye subreddit, does it have pork? Like this is, no, everyone's like, no, it doesn't. But also they have a list of halal locations. but then also, you know, why would the chicken be cooked with pork? Although I guess lard is used to make the biscuits, but like, I don't know. This is why I'm not a person who like, I'll eat everything.

I'm like, it sounds too complicated, not to. Yeah, I eat everything. It's like whatever. Yeah. You know what? I'm blessed to not be allergic to food. That is absolutely true. I'm like, I can't.

I have cravings for things. And if you're like, but Jesse, there's lard in it or pork was used to make this chicken. I'm like, I don't know why, but I'm still going to eat it. That's a, uh, yeah, there's a lot of people. Like, I can't have like a nut couldn't have touched it at any point. Or like a, like, you know, this, like a seafood thing. Like, no shrimp could have, like, touched this thing at a, like, I couldn't be near shrimp. Like, that's crazy because I, I feel for those people.

I genuinely do. But also, like, I don't like the idea that every day, your life is just, well, I'm one nut away from being dead. Like that sounds crazy. I'm one nut away from being dead. That is a good shirt. That is a good shirt. That's so many meanings. I love it. Yeah. I, uh, yeah, I would be constantly worried. Anytime I ate out, I'd be like, did they, is this messed up? That they mess it up? Because like, I would, I would assume like

somebody messed up. I'm going to die if I eat this. It's also really funny being in LA because they always ask you Do you have any allergies or whatever When you order at a restaurant And whenever we're like, no The look of relief they have on their face is crazy There's probably people that just

Say they're allergic to stuff Just to not have it in their food Like I don't want to eat that thing So I'm just going to say I'm allergic You know there's people that do that Oh I mean that's a When I used to work at McDonald's One of the things people would do all the time

Is they'd say Oh, I can't have salt Which was just a way of getting us to make fresh fries and then they'd take packets of salt and put it on it. Yeah. Like, I mean, people will be like that and I think that's fine. I don't have a problem with that. But I just worry for everyone who has all those various, like, I, yeah, man, if you, if, like, a crustacean ends up anywhere on your food, you're dead.

Like, I don't know how you exist, but, like, bless, I guess. Yeah. By the way, at the bottom of this article, it has Taco Bell burglary suspect had men's room soap dispenser stuffed in pants. He's trying to keep clean, man. And also as man breaks in the little Caesars, starts making and selling pizzas. So, yep.

Honestly? That's an entrepreneur. I don't care what anyone says. That's an entrepreneur. If we got a slow news week, we can bust out one of those. There we go. It's crazy to me that it's like people don't want to work. This man's working for free.

Yeah, he's working for free. Well, he's probably like stealing the money or something. Actually, you're probably right. That's your big news story of the day. All right. That's it for us. Thanks so much for listening and watching. I'm doing this podcast.

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Good stuff. Yep. Okay, that's it for us. See y'all next time. And as always, Jake the rhino. To be continued.