Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 83: Black Friday Strikes Back

Episode Date: November 28, 2014

You'll notice we changed the titles. Why? Cause I wanted to do clever titles. So I started with a cheesy one! You're welcome internet! - Jesse

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trending! This is Trending in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Hit me! Wake your ass up! It's the next Trending in the morning!

Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me! Trending in the morning! Hello and up, next friend of the morning! Hello there, everybody. It is Black Friday. Tis Black Friday, the blackest of days, the heart of darkness. Mm-hmm. And much like The Heart of Darkness, a book I'm sure Crandor has never read. We are going down... Jesus Christ. I didn't know that. It is going down. Jesus Christ. I didn't know that.

Yes, that is a book. It is a very important book. It's a book that inspired many movies and video games and TV shows and other media. Why haven't I heard of it then? I mean, I assume that's because the only place you go to is Ikea and not a bookstore. I go to bookstores. I just don't buy the books. They have good coffee there.

They do. And I just like to look at the books and put them back. Well, this is Cox and Crennor in the morning and today's Black Friday. It's the very special day of the year when everyone goes out and about. And this episode's for you,

stuck in the car today, doing whatever it is you do. Hopefully not suffering suffering maybe some of you are back i don't know when this video video geez maybe maybe you're watching it if that's the case you shouldn't be watching it and driving but uh i mean they can't really watch it look i mean listen to it you know what you know what johnny ikea shut up you know you don't judge me you don't get to judge me in my mistakes this audio that you're listening to as you're driving around yeah we this is for you this is for you today hopefully you're recovering from your uh Uncle Bob's rants on you know the Illuminati

and your grandpa complaining about Obama. I told you he was a secret Muslim! Yes, Uncle Bob. He's a secret Mayan Muslim! Robot! Yes, Uncle Bob.

Now where are my glasses? I left them in the turkey, I did. Yes, awful Bob. Luckily, you got to leave Uncle Bob early to go find some deals. Or you had to go work at the places with the deals, and that would be bad. I was already starting to see texts from people and tweets and things that were like, Oh, dude, you should see the lines. It's crazy. I don't want to see the lines people and uh tweets and things that were like oh dude you should see the lines it's crazy i don't want to see the lines i know it's crazy i'm very much aware of it

here's the thing i kinda want to see the madness because i like that i like crazy people i enjoy crazies but at the same time i don't want to be involved in it. I have trouble going to a grocery store on Sunday because it's packed and filled with idiots. Let's be clear. Grocery stores on Sundays are usually parents with overactive children and the elderly all crammed into one space. It's just like, oh, my God, I can't. I can't. I go to the grocery store

when it's about to close. There's like nobody there. Monday at about 9.30pm is prime grocery store time for me. Yep. One guy's like, I need alcohol. And there's another person who's just like, got my late night shopping done.

And then there's some people that work the night shift and like one mother and you. It's great. It's great. You get everything you need done. You can stand there and look at prices. You don't feel like, here's the problem. This is how you know you're a better person than other people.

I mean, this is how you know. When I go to the grocery store, if I see, say, two products side by side that are very similar, and I want to choose one of them, I will sit there and I will decide between the two, like, you know, a normal person would, like, hmm, these are interesting. But if there are people there, if it's packed, I will just make a quick choice

because I don't want to be in anyone's way. Right? I will look at it, really quickly judge, and just grab whatever I think is the best choice and move on. Because I am considerate of other people. On Sundays at the grocery store, those assholes are like, hold on. Let me spend 25 minutes holding up the aisle as my body takes up one half of the aisle and the cart takes up the aisle, or the other half.

And you want to get through? Tough shit. You want to get through? Hold shit. You want to get through? Hold on. Jimbo, do you want green beans or do you want salted green beans? Mom, I think they're both salted. No. Don't give me that, sass.

That's what it's like. And I just block the aisle. That's entirely accurate. That's the problem. And then you block the aisle. And then sometimes it's triple blocked,'s entirely accurate. That's the problem. And they just block the aisle. And then sometimes it's triple blocked. Like, because there's one hold up.

And then here's what you have to do. So there's like four people holding up the line in this one aisle. And because you're waiting and you're a patient person, you sit there and pretend to look at things that are on the shelves. Yeah. You're like, oh, yes, yes, those are things. Yep, I'm being patient. I definitely asked you if you could move but you said one minute so now I'm just being very patient as you take now two minutes to decide on corn

flakes there's only corn flakes the fake brand and the real brand are still corn flakes you can't mess up corn flakes pick whatever is the cheapest and move on lady if you like the expensive corn flakes get the expense don't waste my time you're, lady. If you like the expensive cornflakes, get the expensive. Don't waste my time. You're killing me. It's difficult because the expensive cornflakes are expensive.

And the non-expensive ones give my stomach not the good feelings. Who is this person that's in line? I don't know. Like an old Romanian woman. It gives my stomach the feelings. My stomach gets the feelings. Oh, my goodness. So, yeah, that's, I mean, I don't know what that has to do with Black Friday.

I don't think it has anything. I assume it has to do with the fact that we're nice people, so we don't go out on Black Friday. But I want to go out on Black Friday because I enjoy the insanity of it all. I think it is just about the craziest thing ever. A lot of stuff that's just nuts happens. And, I mean, if you go to the internet, you can see just tons of video footage of people getting stampeded and knocked over. And it's all over stuff that just doesn't make any sense.

Before we started this podcast, I looked up things that were like the deals of Black Friday. And they're all things that if you went online, you could literally get the exact same thing online. Yeah. So why are you pushing people over? I don't understand it. I assume it's because maybe some people don't have credit cards. I guess there's like – I don't know. I don't know.

I don't like buying online. It's dangerous. It's dangerous to go out on Black Friday? Yeah. And they're like, you can get 30%, 40%, 65% off a purse. But do you need that purse? Do you need that? I'll say it once and I'll say it again.

I am completely off of gift giving. I feel like I should just let people know in my life, you're not getting a gift. You're going to get my thanks, my love, and I don't want a gift from you either. I don't want anything. It takes away the spirit of the holiday. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for people, right? takes away the spirit of the holiday. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for people, right? And then immediately the

day after, it's about for 20-some, 30-some days, it's about Christmas. It's about this happy, joyous time. It doesn't matter what you believe, it's the holiday season, and it's about being kind and generous and wonderful to people. And I think

the idea of gift-giving started out well, and it was very nice, and everyone was like, I'm gonna give you a gift, and like, oh, I'll give you a gift, and oh, and it was very nice and everyone was like I'm gonna give you a gift and like oh I'll give you a gift and oh we're so in love it's like that stupid ass story like I cut all my hair so I could give you a comb like I cut all my hair so I could give you a comb right it's that kind of nonsense

that's what it should be but instead it's like well I have to buy them something because they're gonna buy me something this year and if they're oh man what if they give me something expensive I've got to get them something expensive too. And now everyone's in freaking debt. Now they're all in debt. That's how it works. You just don't.

I think I, I, I, Crandor, I think I told you this last time we were here. I might be becoming a Buddhist. I don't, I don't, I think it's just happening to me. I think I'm being taken over by the Buddha spirit. Is that a thing that can happen? The Buddha spirit? Because I'm like, you know, like possessions, man. I'm just getting rid of everything.

I'm just, everything about me must go. I'm just giving stuff away. I'm like, I don't need it, man. You're changing. You're changing as a person for the better of the Buddhist life. Oh, man. You're connecting with Buddha. Maybe it's because I'm trying to reach that audience.

I hear there are a lot of Buddhists in the world. If I can get all of them to watch my videos, we'll be good. We'll be real good. Yeah. Watch me, Buddhists. So Black Friday. Black Friday. I don't even know how we got there.

I don't know. We're going anywhere. I don't either. I still remember that other year. It was like last year. Some lady was at Target, and she's all, do you have the movie White Chicks? And I was like, why would you buy that movie? My grandson loves White Chicks.

He tells me all the time. Ma'am, I don't think that's... He says he likes to watch white chicks all day. Grandma, I didn't mean the movie. He says sometimes he likes to watch white chicks in his boxers. Uh-huh, ma'am, I don't... Every day from his window. It's weird. Why would you put the

TV in the window? My grandson, he's a strange one. So where do I buy that movie? Kids these days, back in my day, I wish we had window TVs. We didn't even have food. Oh, boys will be boys, though.

Yeah, that happened. No, but speaking of movies and stuff, this is the craziest thing on this list that's on the internet. It tells you things not to buy on Black Friday, right? Yeah. And the number one thing is movies. Yeah. It says don't buy movies. Here's the crazy part.

Let me read you this list, and you'll be like, you know exactly what you'll be like. All right. Things not to buy on Black Friday. One, movies. Don't buy movies. They're always overpriced or useless commodity things. That's pretty much what it's saying, right? Two, toys.

People think it might be the best time to buy toys, but it's not. They're hard to find,, but it's not. They're hard to find and everyone fights over them. Three, video game consoles without a bundled item. Why buy just the console if you're not going to get the game? Games are scarce. Don't do it. The discounts aren't there.

It gives you a list of reasons, right? Yeah. Next, brand name TVs. All right? All right. DSLR cameras. Why not a camera? I don't know. I right? All right. DSLR cameras. Why not a camera? I don't know.

I thought it gave reasons. Oh, well, the cameras, it says, there's no shortage of cameras around right now, but premium current generation cameras are about to be replaced. So why buy them on the cheap when you can just get the new ones in February? Oh. Again, again, let me just, just, just, let's keep going. All right. Next on the list, winter apparel. Yep.

What if he wants some winter apparel? Hold on. Next on the list, Christmas decorations. Next on the list, exercise equipment. Next on the list, jewelry or watches. Next on the list, any Apple iPad products. Whoa. Next on the list, any Kindle products.

Next on the list, any Amazon Fire products. Next on the list, bedding or blankets. Next, wine or specialty foods. And after that, international airfare. It's pretty much everything. Yeah, so I'm glad you noticed that. What are you supposed to buy on Black Friday? Basically, the article should have been called, just don't buy anything on Black Friday.

It's cheaper the rest of the year. Yeah, like, don't buy a camera cheap because the new one's going to come out. Yeah, but the new one's going to cost a bunch of money. Yeah, the new one's going to cost a fortune. Why not get the, like, this article's so stupid. That doesn't make any sense. It's like, movies are dumb because

you're not going to watch a movie all the time. It's like, yeah, but it's like, any time you buy a movie, and now you can get it cheap. I don't, look, I don't understand it. I don't get it. Look at this. On Amazon, you can buy rio x-men first class a dollar 96 each they're 93 percent off six yep that's a pretty good deal i know i watched movies i know i almost bought it i was like a dollar 96 for that movie and i was

like you know what i i don't really need it I've mentioned this before and I'll say it again I currently own four movies Shawshank Redemption The Rock and Die Hard those are the ones I own that I bought because those are the ones I'll watch all the time

and then the movie The FP was sent to me The FP? Yes, it's about a post-apocalyptic post-apocalyptic dance competition to ddr it's pretty great and you have lord of the rings too um i thought you did i have no actually i changed that i have i have – I also was sent the complete Blu-ray of – oh, goodness, Lost. And the old school DVDs of Lord of the Rings and then old school Star Wars DVDs. But those were all sent to me. So the only ones I've ever purchased were those three that I initially spoke of.

Like, I just don't buy movies unless I know that I'll watch, like, if the, not the Power Girl, but if the internet goes out, I can survive on watching The Rock, Shawshank Redemption, and Die Hard over and over and over and over again. That's all I need in my life. X-Men First Class is good, but it's no Die Hard. Let's be clear. It's no Die Hard. That's no Die Hard. Let's be clear. It's no Die Hard. That's no Die Hard.

That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. And speaking of it's no Die Hard, this is going to be the worst segue ever. Walmart is making their employees work on Thanksgiving now? What? What? Apparently more and more restaurants are work on Thanksgiving now? What? What? Apparently more and more restaurants are opening on Thanksgiving More and more stores are open on Thanksgiving

And basically Thanksgiving is just A consumer holiday now Because Black Friday Because everyone sort of knows Black Friday was that day that Everything They put everything on sale And they make a ton of money And it lasts the rest of the year. It's the start of the Christmas season, basically.

The holiday season. And people have just decided because they kept opening the stores earlier and earlier and earlier and earlier. It was 4 a.m. We thought that was ridiculous. Then it became opens at midnight. People thought that was ridiculous. Now they're just, we open Thursday. We open at 6 p.m.

Yeah. It's nuts. And so Walmart, some Walmarts were open all day. Shh. And my question then becomes, why discount? Why not just make it another day? Why have Black Friday? What's the point?

Yeah. It's brilliant. Black Friday was an event, right? I know. You woke up early And he went crazy and had fun This is silly Yeah, and it gets rid of the mobs and stuff Yep How are we supposed to watch the crazy happen?

That's the problem, the crazy might have already happened Yeah Well, I found an article thing that says The Black Friday Guide for Road Warriors Uh-huh Which is, this can help us get through the day I found an article thing that says the Black Friday Guide for Road Warriors. Uh-huh. Which is this can help us get through the day. Yeah, it says before you leave home, take another look at inserts.

You probably have spent some time scanning the pre-released ad scans online. Check the Thanksgiving Day inserts in the AJC for updates. I'm sorry, what? The AJC. What are you reading? It's just the shopping blog. Where'm sorry, what? The AJC. What are you reading? It's just the shopping blog. Where did you find this? Good find, buddy. Good find. You went on the internet and found the most

insane thing. It says, Oh, the website's called AJC. that makes more sense uh it says take notes so that you can take notes and make a note of items on your shopping list that also require coupons rebates or include a gift card with purchase make a map so you know where you're going to be going uh decide on your payment methods. Arrive early. Know the store layout.

Stay focused. Note the store layout and stay focused? Sounds like you're getting ready to play a sports game. All this can be avoided if you just use the internet. Yep. Really, that's all you should be doing is just using the internet. And put safety first. If you see a fight in Walmart, walk the other way. Why is that's all you should be doing is just using the internet. And put safety first. If you see a fight in Walmart, walk the other way.

Why is that a thing? Why is that? Like, if you see a fault with Walmart, well, walk the other way. If you see a fight in Walmart, what? Like, what else are you going to do? Like, oh, I'm going to go closer. Let me investigate this fight. Like, you might be like, but I really want the thing they're fighting over. Like, no.

No, don't be an idiot. Yeah, I guess it makes sense. There's nothing. My only problem with all that is, is why specifically Walmart? Instead of fighting Walmart, is Walmart the place fights happen? But, like, there's nothing. Is there ever a fight in, like, American Eagle? Out of the way, man.

Trying to get my clothes. Oh, my God. Trying to get my latte from where I left it. You know what I'm saying? Oh, my God. Like, on your mind, American Eagle sells lattes. They do if you know where to check. Oh, shit. American Eagle sells lattes. They do if you know where to check.

Oh, shit. Is that the section of the store that's reserved for just the super sexy people? Yeah, it's got a bouncer that says, you're not allowed in. Oh, yeah, you're not allowed in. You are not nearly as sexy. This coffee's for sexy people only. I mean, granted. This coffee was shit out of a monkey's ass. It's for sexy people only.

Half my shirts are American Eagle. I don't doubt that. Listen, their things they're soft uh yeah there's nothing that somebody'd be fighting over that i would care enough to go and like try and get it from them i don't know that i care enough about anything that yeah like i guess it's if you have like if you have people you need to buy stuff for but because i've given given up buying things, I just don't care anymore. I looked at all the deals, and I was like, meh. Yeah. I just don't care.

I just don't care. I think I've evolved as a human being. I'm like Data on Star Trek. Like, maybe if they had computer parts like 80% off, I'd be like, all right, I really need this like new graphics card for super cheap. But even then I'd be like, do I need it? See, that's where I'm at, Crandor. I think I've got problems. Good problems though, but I think I'm just done.

Yeah, you got some good problems. I'm like, do you need it? I just ask myself, do I need it? Right? Like every time I'll see a t-shirt, I'll be like, that's an awesome shirt. And then I'll be like, but do I need it? I think I'm ruining the spirit of Black Friday. You are.

I'm like the Ebenezer Scrooge. I need ghosts to visit me and tell me that Black Friday will be okay. I mean, two years ago is when we started this podcast. I want to know, are you the same as you were back then? I still enjoy watching crazy people. Yeah, but didn't you go somewhere back then? Didn't you go out and camp somewhere? No.

Oh, God, no. I could have sworn you did. It wasn't on Black Friday. No, that was for the Playstation Oh that's what that was Yeah and it was totally worth it I definitely you know

Really have used that since I got it Yeah I think I've turned my Playstation 4 on Maybe Six times ever I have used mine more as a blu-ray player than an actual game thing yeah i don't it was a total waste of money and i have never i have never i think that might be the start of when i was like well i just spent money on junk i'll never use yep like i bought

the wii u and i was like well this is dumb and now i've played my wii u more than like the other two systems. Yeah, and the Wii U is how many years old, comparatively? It's like an extra year old. So, there you go. There you go. I don't know. Black Friday.

Now I'm a bummer. I've ruined your Black Friday merriment. Yeah. I mean, we'll bring it back, because I found some stories. Oh, good. Oh, good. All right. Well, then, I think it's time to go to Chopped Goblins. Chopped Goblins. Chopped Goblins.

Chopped Goblins. With Grendor, how's that traffic out there? Chopped Goblins. Chopped Goblins. We're flying over Black Friday. Down there, man, it is backed up the wazoo backed up the wazoo, we got people at Target, we got people at Walmart, there's fistfights breaking out, there's fight fists breaking out, there's a walrus that just broke out of the zoo to get some of these crazy deals, but there is a

Buddhist down there, and that Buddhist monk is trying to encourage people to think with their mind and not with their emotions or whatever. And it appears that Justin Everton does not care. He is rushing in to get a big screen TV, and he is... He got it. He's got that TV. Oh, and it's got ripped out of his hands by another guy. Back to you.

Thanks, Crandor. Oh, that sounds awful. That TV deserves... It was his. Yeah, it was his. It was his TV. He, this guy ripped out of his hands by another guy. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Oh, that sounds awful. That TV deserved... It was his. It was his TV. He lost it. It's just like football. You gotta pull it in. Can't fumble. Can't fumble that TV. TV fumble. Bad play.

Bad play. Speaking of football, we'll get to that in a minute. Because now it's time for weather. Crandor, how's the weather out there? How's it going over at the weather desk? I out there? It's good over at the weather desk. I've been doing pretty good over here at the weather desk myself. I never leave the weather desk. It's kind of weird.

That is a little weird. Especially on days where we don't do anything because it's very dark and nobody turns the lights on. What am I talking about? Oh, yeah. What's the weather? Let's see. I don't even know where to go today Let's go to Bass Arizona Did you try to type in Black Friday

But you typed in B-A-L instead I didn't even know I didn't even think of typing in Black Friday Now there's nothing What about Black Black What about black? Black. What about black F?

There's black, black flag, black flat, fort black, black forest. Black forest. Oh, that's good. Black forest, Colorado.

There's gonna be someone in base Arizona. It's like, oh man, they were gonna do my weather. Tough shit, Arizonazona too bad uh black forest colorado is 41 degrees fahrenheit right now and it feels like 36 degrees fahrenheit uh we got 59 degrees uh on this black friday for your weather shopping this is not too bad. You can wait outside. Then it's just going to get colder, 56, 49, 31. Back up to 52, but then 47, 47. Not so much rain, just kind of some moderately mild medicinal temperatures.

That's because it's in Colorado. Is that the joke, or did you just make up the word that made no sense? No, I just made up stuff. Yeah, okay, great. Can I just point out, the way you said Black Forest, you're like, Black Forest. I imagine everyone says that. Yeah, it's probably a very nice town. Because it's called Black Forest, everyone's just like, it's pure evil.

They're just very nice people there. They're like, oh, welcome to Black Forest. Oh, Black Forest here. We make artisan cheeses. Artesian. Oh, yes, of course. Artesian cheeses. Artesian cheese.

Artcheesan. Artcheesans. We call it artcheesan. They probably are having a festive Thanksgiving and Christmas. They're going to go sing at the choir. But even they say it like, oh, hello there. Welcome to Black Forest. It's so nice of you to come here.

I mean, it's Black Forest. And what's going on in the sports world? Sports. We had some football yesterday. We had the Bears. They played the Detroit Lions in Detroit. Five people showed up. And the Lions won.

They beat the Bears 34-17. Bears fans were not happy. Wasn't there talk of a Bears comeback? What happened? Yeah, they won two in a row and then they played it. Did you listen to the meatballs? What did the meatballs say? I did not listen to the meatballs today, but hold on, let me just...

Bears news. I'll tell you. There's no defense for the Bears inept offense. Just picture this in a Bears voice. Detroit, get away from playing last place teams. Get back to reality on this Bears season. A modest two-game winning streak against the down-and-out Buccaneers

and scuffling Vikings was extinguished in the second quarter Thursday when the Lions bombed the defense for 21 points, erasing the Bears' rarely seen quick start. Well, sort of quick start. When the team goes 96 minutes 40 seconds of game action between first quarter scores, it's hard to be picky. Good to know.

Good to know. I feel bad. I feel bad for the entire city of Chicago. Yep. This is a very sad bad for the entire city of Chicago. Yep. This is a very sad day for the Bears. You know, Jake Otler not doing his greatest. Oh, well. But the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Dallas Cowboys. Yeah.

And I don't know how that happened because Philadelphia is not that great. I don't care how it happened. I'm not a Cowboys fan. Don't care about the Cowboys. I don't like either of them. I'm a Cowboys fan. Don't care about the Cowboys. I don't like either of them. And Seattle beat San Francisco. That was probably a fun game. Because you know all the Seattle and San Francisco people, they're very close to each other.

So they can just go and, ooh, my team's going to beat your team. Every time I'm in Seattle, everyone has the Seahawks. Every time I'm in San Francisco, everyone has a 49ers thing on. Yeah. So you know the two of them are just like, Oh, our teams are playing each other. And they're probably all together for the holidays. All I'm saying is Seattle and San Francisco fans are unbearable.

That's what I'm saying. Well, they're both kind of doing... They're unbearable. They're unbearable at home. They're both kind of doing me. San Francisco scored three points. They lost 19-3 at home. It was really bad.

They're also not even in the playoffs if it were to start today. Good. Then I'll have to listen to all my friends be like, San Francisco's so great. You know what? No one cares but people from San Francisco. No, it is great.

Sunday, Packers take on New England. Battle of the best teams right there. That is, here's the problem. It's New England. I hope New England. Battle of the best teams right there. Here's the problem. It's New England. I hope New England loses horribly. I mean, it's in Lambeau Field. Can I just say, I don't know how it became this way, but I hate

almost every professional football team. Yeah. I just do not like them. Or professional sports in general? No, I like pro sports. Oh. I think there's a lot of great pro sports.

I think that most of the sports teams, though, are awful. Yeah. And it's my job as a fan to call them out on sucking. I like my meatball brethren to the north. Meat balls. We'll continue to call out professional athletes who get paid to run the foosball up and down the field on their awfulness. They do the same with every sport.

It just shifts. It's just the same commentary for every sport. Like Derrick Rose, he keeps getting injured. Derrick Rose, back when he used to actually play basketball and his body worked, he was a pretty good basketball player. But now, probably the worst player I've ever seen in my life. We just got rid of him.

He's worthless, really. Just have him go shovel some snow. Make him useful. Put in Ditka. Put in Ditka, he can score a couple baskets. He wouldn't get hurt. Put in Ditka. Put in Ditka.

He could score a couple baskets. He wouldn't get hurt. Can you imagine Mike Ditka playing basketball? I could. Oh, my God. That would be amazing. That would be amazing. I'd watch that. All right.

Well, I guess it's time for our big story of the day. What's our big story? What's our big Black Friday story? All right. It is. is well there's two of them one's one's a florida man story and one is 17 weird things not to buy on black friday or ever what about the florida man story because it's florida man yes the popularity why did you even have to question that you're like oh thank god, thank God he chose that one. I don't know. I like giving you options.

Hold on. Let's read off some of these other ones just really quickly. Dammit. Body vibration machine. A boob harness. A breakfast for two machine. Wide leg velvet pants. A cosmic stick.

A fringed crop top. A $9,000 playhouse, a denim jumpsuit, Metallica Monopoly, loopy jumper, an automatic butter cutter, leggings with knee mesh detail, unicorn meat, two-tone

shirling jacket, baby jacuzzi, and unwrap me body bow. Those are that. That is pretty great. Half those things I think you can get in those crates you can get on the internet. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure some of those are in crates you get on the internet.

So here we go. Florida Man gets online to conquer Thanksgiving sales the old way. The popularity of online shopping stores spreading out their seasonal sales and even forecast rain have all failed to dampen the enthusiasm of a Florida shopper who is attempting a two-week camp out in order to land himself a bargain. See, all the things we talked about. This isn't phasing Derek DeArmond. That guy's got a great name, Derek DeArmond. it's probably derrick de armand oh yeah i know on november 11th derrick de armand 55 pitched 55 what are you doing with your life he pitched a three-room tent with air conditioning and tv outside the door of a Best Buy electronics store in Fort Myers. I hope that's all innuendo.

I hope it's all innuendo. He pitched a tent so big it had air conditioning and a TV. He plans to be the first through the doors when they open for the traditional Thanksgiving sale on Thanksgiving Day itself. Then he plans to give his main purchase to charity. first through the doors when they open for the traditional Thanksgiving sale on Thanksgiving Day itself. Then he plans to give his main purchase to charity. DeArmond has been going to work every day at the local newspaper where he is a press operator. While he does so, a team of friends hold his canvas-covered space in line. To pass the time when online, DeArmond plays dominoes with friends and serves them from a tiki bar he has set up inside his spacious tent. That is amazing.

He only goes home to take a shower and use the bathroom. We barbecue every night. We invite people in. We've made new friends, he told the New York Times. De Arman's target is a door buster's deal, a 42-inch flat screen television which will be priced at $199 instead of $800. For the first few shoppers through the door when the Best Buy sale begins. Advanced queuing for Black Friday, the day pre-Christmas sales traditionally begin in the U.S., the day after Thanksgiving, is not unusual, but it has become less common in recent years thanks to the boom in online shopping and stores spreading their sales. Everything we talked about!

Yep. years thanks to the boom in online shopping and stores spreading their sales. Everything we talked about! Yep. Many shoppers also dislike the modern phenomenon of stores opening on Thanksgiving itself. Darumond has solved that one too. His family intends to join him in the tent for the traditional meal on

Thanksgiving. Are you kidding me? Before Best Buy opens at 5pm and he can wade in to buy the television. He intends to donate it to a school. He also has his eye on an iPad that will be selling for $100 off list price. Okay.

I love this guy. I think it's pretty cool that he's giving it away to charity. My question is, why? What does he get out of all of this? He's doing this for so long and he camping, and then he's donating it? What does he get out of it? That's all I'm asking.

What does he get out of it? Yeah, what's he get? I don't even. There's something fishy going on. Something super fishy. Super fishy. We need to dig deep. We need to dig deep into this one.

What does he get? Like, okay, what charity is he giving it to? He's trying to draw attention to the charity? And if he's trying to draw attention to the charity, what charity is it? More important, like, what if it's like the Childhood KKK Center? You never know. It could be. But what if he's doing it for, like, a school he used to go to or something,

and he's, like, given back to the school. What's his motive? That's all I'm saying. What's his motive? Yeah, what's his motive? Oh, wait. Because that's a long time. That's a long time.

Oh, my God. I found pictures of him. Okay. Yeah, see? There we go. A Malinculus article. Uh-huh. The New York Times.

And there's a slideshow. You can see all his pictures of his tent and everything Why does he have a giant rockstar energy drink thing? I don't know Maybe he got sponsored by them Alright, alright, come on This guy I think I figured out why he's doing it

Yeah, I think He appears to be The kind of guy who just does this stuff because he doesn't want to be old. Yeah. If you look at him, he's got a rock star energy drink thing. He's got a Hooters t-shirt on. Yep. He's sitting there peeling off bags of oranges, talking to dudes. There's a guy.

I don't even know what's going on. Yeah, he just wants the attention, too. He doesn't want to get old, and he loves the attention, and he loves just tailgating like a football game, man. Yeah. I mean, here's the crazy thing. I think I've seen stuff like that this, like, I can't even talk right now,

like this at the Best Buy down the street for me. Yeah. Like, I saw a tent. So, people, I mean, this is insane. Like, people understand this is insane, right? It is insane. Like, all he wants to do is he wants to get

a, he says after the one TV, he also intends to buy an It is insane. All he wants to do is he wants to get a... He says after the one TV, he also intends to buy an iPad Air 2 for $399. Mind you, the $399 iPad Air is a 16 gigabyte one, so it's the cheapest one. What iPad... Eventually, I mean, why buy an iPad Air if you're going to get no space on it? That makes no sense. And then a 50-inch Panasonic TV for $199. Yeah.

The iPad's a gift for his sons, and he plans to donate the television to a children's hospital for a fundraising raffle. Oh, God, I like him even more now! Oh, but I hate him for doing this! I like him, but I hate him. He said his two sons will be sitting down for the traditional turkey dinner inside the tent.

One son will be home from military in Afghanistan. The other is a high school student and is embarrassed and doesn't want any part of this, but will be here for dinner. Here's the question. Where's mom? I'm about to crack it open, Crandall. Yeah, where's mom? I'm about to crack it open. He and his wife got a divorce.

Yep. And he wants to be the cool dad. where's mom? I'm about to crack it open. He and his wife got a divorce. Yep. And he wants to be the cool dad. That's what it is. That's what it is. He wants to be the cool one. He wants to be the cool dad. The mom's the one who's like, honey, you have to do your homework. And this is the guy who's like, come chill with me and I'll make you some brews with my Hooters shirt and my awesome rock star.

That's it? That's it. We solved it. We solved it. It's pretty easy, to be honest. That's it? We solved it. We solved it. It's pretty easy, to be honest. That was easy. All it did was take some research and we figured it out. Yep.

Crando, we're very good at this. We are very good. That's why we make such great- He's the cool dad. He's the cool dad. Yeah. He's like, hey, man, I bought you this iPad. Oh, my God.

We could have made a show called The Cool Dad. It'd be amazing. It's just this guy who's really sad. I just want my son to love me. I have to wear this awful Hooters t-shirt. It could be a sitcom. The Cool Dead, coming to CBS this fall. Let's hope it never does. Anyway guys, that's it it That's it for Black Friday

Thank you so much for listening We will be back soon with another episode And as always To be continued