Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 87 - The 8

Episode Date: December 19, 2014

Hey guys, GNOC? Maybe a little FWB? Don't worry, no CD9. Are not sure what the hell we're talking about?! Then you obviously aren't a cool teen! We'll fill you in. Also the boys discuss the scene they wanted most out of the Hobbit, and how you get the mumps!

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendor in the morning. Hello everybody, welcome back to Cox and Crendor in the morning. Y'all already know who it is, Cedar to Crendor, Crendor, it's coming to you live, coming from the Strat out of Bronx, Strat out of Compton, you know what I'm saying, cracking crabs 5-9-5 and 5-9 with the old crack crab shag, you know what I'm saying? Um, I'm not sure I do, but let me see if I can figure out what you just said. Kren Krendor coming out of something, coming out of Compton. No, you already know who it is.

Oh, you already know who it is. It's Kren Krendor coming out of somewhere, coming out of Compton from the Crab Shack. He loves crabs at the Crab Shack. Five for five. Five for five. Five for five. Sure. Yeah. That's my new favorite thing to say.

I don't know what any of that means. Is the Crab Shack like slang for something? No. Because like whenever you hear like rap people come out of like Pitbull, all those people are like, you already know who it is. So like I like to say that now. You don't know who it is. Just got to go to the Crab Shack.

But you just got to mix it up every time. Like, you already know who it is see the red door red door coming down live you have the old toys r us bodies toys you know what i'm saying straight out of brogues copster Arizona NYC FSU interviews and stuff i thought you meant like on rap albums well they do that too anyone was on a rap album going, Y'all already know who it is. Granddaddy, Granddaddy, toys, all around. I'd be like, who is this guy? Y'all already know who it is.

Granddaddy, company, live from Bath and Body Works. You know what I'm saying? Smells good. Smells fresh. Smells clean. You know what I mean? That's all I'm saying. Yeah.

No, it definitely is. Definitely is. Well, hello, friends and folks abounds. I went and saw The Hobbit. I did too. And I saw it in 3D high frame rate IMAX. Oh, I saw it in normal movie mode. Let me just tell you, my eyes exploded. Oh. My eyes

hurt. My eyes hurt for like a day and a half after seeing it. Just painful. And I realized it's not for me. IMAX movies, not for me anymore. How do you do that with glasses? Do you wear them over your

glasses? Yes, yes. For those of you out in the glasses? Do you wear them over your glasses? Yes. Yes. For those of you out in the world who are like, oh, well, I don't have to wear glasses. You have to put shit on over your glasses. That's how it works. And it's very uncomfortable. You have to sit there and just suffer through it. Because all your friends don't have glasses.

Screw you. I don't have glasses. People you can see. You'd think I wouldn't be able to see with the amount I've stared into this computer screen. Multiple screens. Then there's some people who are like, well, just get prescription ones. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Prescription 3D glasses.

That's what I'll do. I know what I need. Prescription 3D glasses. The only place you can find those is in SkyMall, probably. I can't even say it. I got choked up. SkyMall, probably. I can't even say it. I got choked up. Skymall. I got choked up saying Skymall, because no one,

even my body was compulsively like, don't talk about that, because that place is dumb. Wear the prescription 3D glasses, Bilbo. Do you need a giant cement hand that squirts out five different types of sodas?

Get in SkyMall. Do you need a knife that's made of chiseled sheep blubber? Get it at SkyMall. Do you need a pool made of donkey urine? Get it at SkyMall. I've always wanted one of those. SkyMall is, I don't think they have those catalogs in airplanes anymore. I'm not sure.

Their advertisement should just be Gandalf saying that, being like, it's SkyMall. However, right now I am going to the SkyMall website to see what amazing things you can get on SkyMall right now. SkyMall. Do you want a light that you can change with your phone? Get it on SkyMall right now. SkyMall. Do you want a light that you can change with your phone? Get it on SkyMall. Wow. Do you want an RC racer that looks like Mario Kart? Get it on SkyMall. Oh, man.

Where's the crazy stuff? This is like a really big, uh, what's that store that's at every mall? Uh, you know what I'm saying. I do know what you're saying. It's the one that always has the, like, massage couch. Yeah has the massage couch. Yeah, the massage couch and the sand. They're like, play around with the sand.

It morphs into a bunch of stuff. Yeah. It doesn't stick to your hands. It's just as dumb as that. You're right. It's just as dumb as that. Like, here we go. Get yourself a phone charger and sanitizer. Sure.

Do you need a dark cabinet? Of course you do. Who doesn't? Do you want a simple neck contour pillow? Sure. Do you need a dark cabinet? Of course you do. Who doesn't? Do you want a simple neck contour pillow? Sure. Why not? Like, it's just random crap. Yeah. It's an adjustable height sit-stand desk. I'm trying

to find the crazy expensive things. Yeah, the fit-stand desk. I see that. I don't see them on here. It's almost like SkyMall is not as crazy as it used to be. I'm highly disappointed. Yeah. Yeah, they're getting a little too mainstream now. See all.

See all. And then we're going to do over $500. Oh, never mind. Never mind. Star Wars Darth Vader head toaster. It makes you stick your toast in Darth Vader's head, and then it comes out saying Star Wars on it. Oh. Nice.

I see. This is a Yankee Stadium barstool. It is a seat from the former Yankee Stadium, now in barstool form. That is $700 if you want that. A lot of sports memorabilia on here. Why are they like sports? What is going on? Ditka's heated slippers.

You tired of having your feet cold? Let Ditka keep them warm with Ditka's heated slippers. Alright, we need toys. New arrivals. Expensive. Over $200 new arrivals. Yeah. Y-Bike Explorer pedal pedal powered go-kart

little bit space kit or get your kids an air hockey table $299 yeah sky mall it's garbage all right anyway wait hold on hold on they have the stewart plaid pajamas and it's this whole family including the dog wearing pajamas i mean the dog's part of the family. He's very happy to be wearing it, and the kids look kind of like, what's happening? And the mom's just like, I am forced to be here, and the dad's just like, yeah, you're forced to be here. I dress the dog up.

Dog's just like, I am dog. SkyMall, it is awful. So yeah, I saw The Hobbit. And I don't think we can spoil anything, although the story is super old. So, you know. Was it everything you expected? I will say, and this is no spoiler, the movie has a line in it in which Saruman is basically like, don't worry, y'alls. I'll handle Sauron.

Yeah. And that's like towards the beginning of the movie. So for the next two hours of my life, I was waiting for a Sauron-Sauruman battle royale. I thought for sure it would explain why Saruman in the Lord of the Rings is evil. Right? Because in this franchise, in this series, in the Hobbit movies, they made him seem like

he's just an ignorant ass, but he's not bad. He's not bad. He's just an ignorant asshole. Right? And I was like, oh, well, he's gonna go fight him, and then Saruman's gonna be like, he's gonna be like, oh, shit, I totally screwed up. He's like, oh, well, he's going to go fight him, and then Sauron's going to be like, and then he's going to be like, oh, shit, I totally screwed up. He's like, yes, man.

Like a corruption scene. Right. I thought it was going to be awesome. I thought it was, because let's be honest. In the Hobbit movies, the best scenes are the ones where it's just Sauron's eye flashing at the screen, like making your brain hurt. Yeah. Those are the best scenes in the movies.

And I was like, this is great. This will be so cool. Didn't even happen. Didn't happen. It was just like, meh, deal with it movies i was like this is great this will be so cool didn't even happen didn't happen it was just like man deal with it i was like no i want that scene more than anything i wanted more than anything you know i had that same thought i wanted to see it too i was like oh man we're gonna see how he becomes corrupt as you know and it's just like of all the extra stuff they added in the one thing they should have added in was that. And they didn't do it. They didn't do it.

It broke my heart. It broke my heart. Yeah. Everything else is like, all right. I'd give it a, you know, it was what I expected. Solid. Yeah. It was what you expected. Going in, it was what you would expect.

Yeah. I wasn't like, this is amazing. I want to see it a billion more times. But it wasn't like, oh, man, I'm disappointed. It a billion more times. But I wasn't like, oh man, I'm disappointed. It was like, alright, I expected that. I'm content. The problem that I have with it is, I still firmly believe that Lord of the Rings was a better trilogy. Yeah, it was.

The problem that I have with it is, going into the final movie, I didn't know that there was anything at stake and it's the same problem that i have with um the prequel movies for star wars coming out after episode four five and six yeah you go into the final movie sort of knowing what's gonna happen yeah right even if you don't know the story of the hobbit you still know not it can't be all bad because it leads into Lord of the Rings. And most of the characters are around still, especially the characters you love. So you're like, oh, well, okay. It seems like it's going to be dramatic, but it's not like there's nothing at stake. And the Lord of the Rings movies, I think, did a really good job. I vividly remember, because there's a lot of mirroring mirroring scenes in this yeah and i

vividly remember the end like the final battle of lord of the rings uh return of the king it's like we're totally screwed and all stuff and then like up over the hill it's like what up rohan's son it's like oh and they go charging in and it's like this is the greatest like that scene alone is fantastic yeah there were a lot of, we're here to help scenes, but none of it was as good. Yeah, it wasn't as epic. Right? There was no, for an epic movie, it didn't feel epic.

That's a good way of putting it. Like, it's supposed to make you feel like, oh, like, you're expected to feel, like, manly emotions of, like, yeah, we're going to fucking kill me. Like it was at the end of The Hobbit. I went from like feeling overwhelmed with like, yay, they came to help them to like sort of sad to like, oh, The Hobbits. They're just for, you know, just four little guys and they change the world like that kind of thing. Right.

I didn't feel any of that here. I was like, I was like, eh. And I was like, that was cool. I felt that. Even the sad scenes, I was like, eh. I was like, okay, yeah, no, I get what they did there, yeah. They kind of threw in the love thing again just for no reason, just like, your mother loved you.

It's like, what? Can I tell you something? I want to tell you something. I'm just going to say maybe skip ahead two minutes. I'm not going to spoil anything, but skip ahead two minutes. So, if you want to not be spoiled for anything in the movie.

So, in the movie, it seemed to me like they ran out of stuff. The writers are very, very good at taking the works of Tolkien and translating it to screen. But when they extended it, they had to add their own stuff in. And I don't think they're very good at writing their own stuff.

Because the difference in quality. You can tell in this movie which lines are Tolkien's lines and which lines are written by the director, by Jackson and Walsh and like his team. You can tell because they're borderline fan fiction lines. They are. Like, why does it hurt? Right? Because it was real. Like, no one says that.

No one in the history. It's always that little dramatic pause thing too, like, because it was real. Right, and then at the end there was that line that was like, go to the north. You must find Strider, or by his real name, pause, which you will have to find out. Like, oh, come on, everyone knows. Everyone's aware of what his name is. I know. His name, which you, it's like, that's so dumb.

I know. Somebody just cheesy, little, or what was the other one? Because it's real, and your mother loved you. Like, he didn't even bring up his mother that much. He just talked about it for a bit, and then all of a sudden he's just like, your mother loved you like a loss.

He's like, Legos is like, hot strings. It's so silly. It's so silly. It's so silly. silly but you can tell that what was what was tolkien's writing and what was theirs and what was theirs was obviously not up to the same quality yeah uh i don't know it was you know it wasn't bad but it was what you would expect like i didn't come out being like yeah that was awesome i came out like okay that was cool yeah it's definitely not like uh the lord of the rings trilogy was one of those things where once it was over, I was like, I need to own those.

Yeah. I watched them over and over again at home. And this was like, I'm glad I watched them, but I just don't, you know. It felt more like a little, like a story being told. Like, this is what happened. While the Lord of the Rings was more like, duh, duh, duh. Like epic craziness. Yeah. The last Return of the Rings was more like epic craziness. Yeah, the last Return of the King was fantastic.

I remember I think I watched that in the theater maybe five times. I think I went and saw that maybe five times. I went and saw it opening night at midnight. And then that weekend, I think I went with three other groups of friends and saw it numerous times over that weekend. And was just so in love with that movie. I was like, it's so good. Like it's even just not even just the last one, like all of them, even the first one are great. Yeah.

Like like people like Boromir. You got Boromir at the end of the first one. That was more sad than like anything here. And then even Sam being just like, Mr. Frodo mr frodo mr frodo i want to come with you dude and seriously the end of of uh uh the two towers i was i was like oh no i couldn't have been more excited for the last maybe minute and a half of that movie is sam and frodo being like oh mr frodo they'll tell great stories of you and it'll be like like they'll call him you know frodo the ringy guy and then frodo's like oh but they can't you can't forget sam the brave and it's like a real touching moment and it's borderline like

they're gonna kiss and it's and like and then it pans over to golem who's just like oh we're gonna get that freaking ring and we're gonna kill him like no don't let no we aren't gonna kill him we'll let her kill him and then he's like come on it's and then they like go off and then it pans up and right over the mountain it's like mordor with like fucking dragons and it was like see you in the next one i was like oh it's so good i can't wait one, like, these had none of that. The best thing they did was, I think it was genius that they cut the ending where they did, where they let Smog out at the end of the second one. The problem is, is that story-wise, it doesn't make sense.

Movie-wise, it was great. It was like, oh, I have to watch the next one. Story-wise, no spoilers. It doesn't make much sense to have a third movie but whatever. Well you can tell they use smog too because it's like, they show smog everywhere like smog, hobbit, three, whatever and then it's like, oh he's not really a big part of this one is he? Nope. Nope.

But they advertise it. Yeah, I don't know, whatever. It was good. It was good. It was not great. Nope. But they advertised it. Yeah. I don't know. Whatever. It was good. It was good. It was not great. Yeah. Go see it once. Yeah.

Go see it. Go experience that and be like, well, that was fun. I'm done. Yeah. And then watch Lord of the Rings. Yes. Then go back and watch Lord of the Rings and appreciate how good it was. Mm-hmm.

All right. Well, that was a discussion. It was a discussion. So let's go to chapter number seven of the Sky with Grendorndor crendor how's that traffic out there oh man the traffic today's uh it's looking all right you know it's a typical day uh i do see down there uh zach brzozowski and he's on the chapter which reminds me i've been on the chapter part of the chapter copter in a while. Hold on, I'm going to eject right here. I'm on the chapter now. Oh, man.

There's a lot of things happening on the streets. Streets of the meats. You got Vlad Gavrula. She's cruising down the street right now. Oh, man. We're having a race. This race is intense. But I win because nobody beats the chapter.

Back to you. Oh, I didn't know where you had jumped to. Oh. I know you jumped out of the helicopter, but I didn't realize you meant like a choppa choppa, like a motorcycle. Yeah, like a vroom vroom chopper. I didn't know that's what you meant. For a minute, I was like, what the hell? Is he on the rotary? Is he on the top of it? It's been a while since I've been on the chopper part, and I was like, what do you mean? Yeah. The propeller at the rotary? Is he on the top of it? It's been a while since I've been on the chopper part.

I was like, what do you mean? Yeah. The propeller at the top? No. I just figured you were spinning around in circles. The actual chopter copter is split. So it's got like a helicopter. It's a chopter and a copter. I agree.

I agree. Yeah. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. My bad. Okay. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot. My bad. Okay, well, what's going on in the weather today? In the weather?

Let me tell you something about the weather. There's no place called Chopter, but there is a copper, Copper City, Missouri. And in Copper City, Missouri today, it's 24 degrees. Doesn't sound very fun over in Copper City. And it's going to be 29 tomorrow with 32, 35. A little bit of a warm-up, but then we got some PM snow showers and some light snow. So it's going to be snowing in the Copper City. You might even say it's a silver city.

No, you wouldn't say that at all. Good work, Good work. Good work. Okay, and sports. Sports. Oh, man, let me tell you something about some sports news. Sports has been going crazy. Sports is going crazy.

You know what? First off, yeah, I don't know where you're going to go, but I think we should take a moment to inform our audience, who probably, a few of them probably not big on sports, but there's something they need to know about. All right. Johnny Football. Oh, yeah, Johnny Football. Johnny Football.

We need to inform them that the schadenfreude is very high with this. So, Johnny Football, if you don't know, his name's Johnny Manziel. He got drafted by the Cleveland Browns after being a somewhat very big high school, or not high school, college football player. So much so that he got the name Johnny Football because he was just, you know, so good. And his big signature move was he would make money signs with his hands. Whenever something big happened. Show me the money. He's like, yeah, I'm making that money in the bank, right? Uh-huh.

Please continue. He played his first ever NFL start. They were like, you know what? He's getting the start this week because our other quarterback sucks, so we got to turn to him now. And in great fashion, he played one of the worst games uh nfl player could play and he had about i think they had like 10 total yards at halftime they never once got to the bengal side of the field yeah they never even get 50 yards out they They couldn't. It was so. Here's the thing, though.

Normally, you would feel bad for a guy like this. But because he's such a pompous asshole with his like, yeah, I'm making a bank and I'm doing it. When he was like sacked and like threw interceptions and everyone would run up to him and make the money sign in his face. Yeah. It felt so good. It really did. Collectively, I think America all felt like, yeah, fuck you, Johnny Football. Yeah. All the Bengals players, they just sack him.

They just intercept him. They just made the money sign. The one guy sacked him with one hand and got up and held him to the ground as he made the money sign. It was just like, you know they were just waiting to do that. Right? And I think it felt good for everyone. There was no one who did not enjoy that. I saw some guy who was like,

Johnny Football, more like Johnny High School Football. That's the kind of commentary you can expect in football. Yep. It felt good. Like, I'm not gonna lie, it felt really good to watch him suck. Yeah. It did. And I think I'm not going to lie. It felt really good to watch him suck.

Yeah, it did. And I think, I don't know what that says about probably Americans or, I guess, culture at large. But we do enjoy when pompous assholes get their comeuppance. Yeah. Like, we enjoy that. It feels good. It feels good to just hate on those people. Right?

Because it's like, you know what? It feels good to just hate on those people. Right? Because it's like, you know what? If you're going to be a braggart and you're going to be like, I'm so good, I'll make it all. At least be good and make all that money. Yeah, please don't suck. Yeah, if you're going to be an asshole, at least be good at what you're doing. Yeah, because then people can be like, what an asshole, but I mean, he's really good, so.

Yeah, so you can hate him, but every week they can. There are a lot of football players over the years who you hate, but they really good, so. Yeah, so you can hate him, but every week they can, like, there are a lot of football players over the years who you hate, but they're so damn good. Like, oh, my God, I can go back years. Everybody hates Tom Brady. Yeah, Tom Brady, Drew Bledsoe. Hell, I hate the brothers.

What's his face? My brain just died. The brothers. You know, the two brothers, the one that's good and the one that sucks, but they're both in the NFL. And? A lot of those. You know, hold on. Help me out here, football man.

What team? Colts and Giants. Go. Oh, Manning. Manning, yeah. The Manning brothers. Yeah. Nobody likes them.

Hate them. But they're good. You can't deny the fact that they're good. I hate them to death, but they're very good. I mean, Eli Manning, he's been slipping a little bit in that play. Well, he's no Peyton. He's no Peyton Manning. He's won more Super Bowls than Peyton has, though.

And so the idea is, like, these two guys hate him, but they're very good. And so you can't not appreciate it. But Johnny Football shows up, and he's like, he has never played, and he's like, I'm the best thing there ever was or ever will be. And then immediately gets destroyed and you just feel good. You feel good. Right as he's like, I'm going to NFL, man. And

he's like, I'm going to make all this money. And then he got drafted by the Cleveland Browns. It was like the lowest low. Yeah, he was like one of the best players in college football. And then they're like, yeah, the Browns select you. And the Browns are like one of the best players in college football, and then they're like, yeah, the Browns select you, and the Browns are like one of the worst teams in the NFL. Yeah, like he could have gone anywhere else, even like Jacksonville.

Like they at least got some promising stuff happening there. But like Google his draft, and you can see his draft date images of just the sadness in his eyes. Yeah, and this is why. Because now he has to play Cleveland. But then he's going to suck and then he's going to waste some years there and then he'll come out of it being a very mediocre quarterback, middle-aged

making mediocre money. And it'll be great. And he'll blow it all on hookers and blow. Yeah. If anything, the Steelers should pick him up because Roethlisberger can teach him a thing or two about hitting on the ladies. It's true. What I was going to bring up is in the NHL, a lot of people are getting mumps.

Yes. Why is that? What is going on? I don't know, but apparently. It's supposed to be like super contagious. Yeah. So all these players are getting mumps in the NHL and they showed Crosby, Sidney Crosby on the Penguins.

Poor Sid. Poor Sid. And if you look up Sidney Crosby on the Penguins. And if you look up Sidney Crosby mumps, you'll see his face. And they're like, he's got an illness. But they didn't say it. And then pictures popped up of him having giant cheeks. Everyone's like, oh yeah, he's got the mumps. And now their goalie probably has the mumps.

Someone else, the backup goalie, probably has the mumps. A lot of people got the mumps. Apparently it is a common childhood disease worldwide and it's painful swelling of the salivary glands and it basically means that you

just swell up. Like you just swell up and it shows pictures of people with the mumps and they just have big swollen necks. Here's my question. Oh, I was about to say how do you treat it? It says there's no specific treatment for the mumpsumps Just put ice on it Or heat on the affected area And gargle warm salt water

Slap a bandaid on it Yeah, it literally says there's no treatment for it Avoid acidic foods and beverages That's That is ridiculous How do they get it though? Probably like, I don't know Mouth guards or sweat I don't know, mouth guards or sweat.

I'm trying to figure out how. I bet it's, like, mouth guards or something. Because it's a saliva thing, right? So maybe that's how it's transmitted. Look, we don't know any of this. We are just grasping at straw. It's called, like, the kissing disease because when people kiss, then they get it because they spread it.

NHL confirms sexiest league. They're just all kissing each other. Yeah. All right. Well, that's sports. Oh, yeah, that's sports. What's our big news story of the day? Oh, man.

Big news story of the day. Hold on. Cat, stop playing with the thing. I had to yell at the cat. I thought that was the story. Big news story of the day. Cat, stop playing with the thing. All right. We go to our good friend Yahoo. And Yahoo's got us one of the best stories I've heard in a while.

It comes from Jennifer O'Neill. And she says, P-I-R? G-N-O-C? Texting acronyms parents need to know. What is P-I-R? Well, we're going to find out. What? Spotted your teen texting about wanting to KPC?

It's not a typo. It's not a typo about hitting Kentucky Fried Chicken. She's more likely intent on keeping parents clueless. As many parents are just now discovering there's a veritable dictionary of acronyms like this one. Created for that exact purpose and used widely online in social media and texting applications. Okay. Yeah? So what are they?

I can't wait to hear these because it sounds like they don't exist. It sounds like this is one of those things that's like, your kids are doing the MFQ. It's T-Z-Y. Sounds like a hip song. We're doing the MFQ. T-Z-Y. So from our great source, the cool mom text cheat sheet. False.

There's no such thing. More lingo about concealing activity from mom and dad, such as PIR, parent in room. PAL, parents are listening. AITR, adult in the room. PAW, parents are watching. PA or PA 911, parent alert. Parent alert. CD9 or code 9, parent around.

99, parent gone. Parent around. 99. Parent gone. 303. Mom. So these are all codes that what? Signify that there's an adult around. Yes. Which is. Okay.

So when you were in the olden days, mom and dad, when you were on your phones and your parent walked in the room, you immediately just switched to talking about something else. Yeah. This is them doing the exact same thing except saying, like, don't say that we're going to go get wasted this weekend. Mom's in the room. Same effing thing. Same effing you did it. Don't try to, like, snoop up on your kids like that. That's creepy as balls.

Stop trying to snoop on your kids. That's like, my little Timmy would never go doing that. Yeah, little Timmy would. If you did it, damn right little Timmy's doing it. Yeah. But the above acronyms aren't the most concerning when it comes to teens. Family Online Safety Institute Program Manager Denise

DeRosa tells Yahoo Parenting it's the sex stuff. Yeah, it is, Denise. It's the sex stuff, all right. Okay. And the list of lingo about sexual activity is long, not to mention graphic. Uh-huh. GNOC, get naked on camera.

GYPO, get your pants off. IWSN, I want sex now. LH6, let's have sex. CU46, see you for sex. 53X, sex. 8, oral sex. This is not, 8 is oral? 8 is just an oral sex thing?

8 is just oral sex. Just typing in eight? Eight. Eight. Wait. Eight. What? Wait.

What if it's just like, see you at eight? Oh, my God, my baby. What are you doing to her? What are you doing? I'm seeing her at eight, Mom. I'm just seeing her at eight, Mom. Oh, don't. Going into the Yahoo parenting.

That's not all you're doing at eight. What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. Go to your room. Go to your room right now. This is like my mom and Oprah in a car. Like Oprah said, it's okay if you're gay, Jesse. Like, what are you talking about, mom?

Are you going to have some eight tonight? Because if you are, it's okay. Are you going to get some eight? Oprah said it's okay if you get eight. Eight? That is ludicrous. That's not even a thing. TDTM, talk dirty to me.

Prawn. Porn. IPM. I'm posting naked. NIFOC, naked in front of computer. WTTP, want to trade pictures? Question mark, up sign, want to hook up? NSA, no strings attached.

Are you slash 18? Are you over 18? I and I, intercourse and inebriation? What the shit? I don't even know what inebriation means. Alright, Crandor, I'm not gonna lie. I think we've officially become old people. Cause I don't. Oh man. Inebriation's getting drunk. Oh.

I thought you just said we're getting drunk and doing it. Cause no kids talk like that. And if kids do talk like that, we are officially old people. Would you like to participate in some intercourse and inebriation, Debra? Why, yes, I would. Now, here's what DeRosa says. The most important thing is to talk to kids about what they're doing online.

Of course, kids are going to change the acronyms they use as soon as parents catch on, but you don't want them to feel like they always have to be hiding these things. The more overbearing you are, the faster they'll find a new way to make sure you don't see what they're doing. To keep the lines of communication open so that your teen will come to you or a big sister or older cousin to talk before they respond to that first GNOC. Let him or her know that you trust them. GNOC. I don't even remember what that was.

I don't know that either. Get naked on camera. Get naked on camera. Oh, wow. I was close. I was close. The old get naked on camera. Oh, get naked on camera.

By the way, here's the deal. Uh-huh. If I had a daughter, I would frown upon her getting naked on camera. But seeing that I don't have a daughter, if anyone wants to get naked on camera for me, that would be the best. Then you'd get mad at her for saying G-N-O-C. Oh, yeah, but if you said that to me, or I said that to you, oh, yeah, no, I'd be pissed. Yeah. Yeah.

You said that to me? Or I said that to you? Oh, yeah, no, I'd be pissed. Yeah. Yeah. So what I'm saying is I am a hypocrite. Uh-huh. And hopefully we'll have a son because at least that way society says I can let him be a crazy bastard and don't need to worry about him. Yeah.

Yeah, daughters, though. Woo, Lord, I got to worry about that. It's like we're a sitcom up in here. Yeah, it's like the sitcom. It's like, hey, you doing that GNOC? I mean, you know, it's okay if you are. Just tell me. Daddy.

But if you are. Daddy. Don't do it. You know, you're going to be on one of them prom sites. No, I would hope that if I had a daughter, she'd be smart enough not to be tech savvy. Like anyone, no one should be posting nude pics of themselves. Look, I've said this before and I'll say it again. When I finally post a dick pic, and trust me, one day I will,

it needs to be the sexiest, well-angled wiener shot the world has ever seen. Because you know, different angles. You know there's the Facebook angle, right? All the different angles make you look different ways right i want to discover the angle that makes my dick look like it's 12 feet long and and just super just massive and sparkling definitely sparkling and just, like a beautiful masterpiece. Master penis is what I want it to be. Yeah. It's beautiful.

That's what it'll be called. Then I'll be like, how'd that get on the internet? Oh, no. Boom. And it'll be Instagram titled like masterpiece of the master penis. Yep. I'll be like, oh, no. What?

Who put that online? It's like light sun rays shining down. Little cherubs drawn in the background. No. Who? What? Who? What?

It has the sets like. Hashtag GNOC. the set it's like hashtag gnoc oh no what who put that online someone must have hacked me someone oh damn north koreans they hacked me oh man that's look one day it'll happen and that happens, I want you all to know that I totally put it out there. I faked it. And in North Korea, all the people will be like, oh, the Jesse Cox. So very fine, man.

So big and beautiful. Become a celebrity there. You'll get flown out there. Oh, that sounds great I hear it's lovely Yeah I hear it's lovely In a sort of End of the world

Post apocalyptic Dictatorship way Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Anyway guys that's it Thank you for listening

We'll be back with another episode soon And as always I want some more chocolate