Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 88 - Happy New Year Florida Man!

Episode Date: January 1, 2015

As one year ends and another begins, we take a look back at all the wonderful things that Flordia Man gave us. Also Crendor is sick, and offers what may be the most insane cure to a cold ever.

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendor! Cox and Crendor in the morning! In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendor in the morning! Cox and Crendor at the end of the year.

It's been a year. I'm sick of... Crendor's sick, guys. He's not feeling well. I'm sick of being sick. I'm sick and tired of these people telling us how to live our life, and I'm done with it. Who? What? What? You know who I'm talking about. No, I don't.

What's going on in your life? The man. The man? Who's the man? The man. What? You know who the man is. Are you high on cough medicine right now?

What are you talking about? I only took one NyQuil. Are you taking the gel caps, or are you talking about? I only took one NyQuil. Are you taking the gel caps or are you taking the liquid? The liquid. So one NyQuil is a bottle? No, not a bottle. Like a serving. One serving of the NyQuil.

A spoonful of NyQuil helps the NyQuil go down. That's the American way. The Simpsons version is better. It is better. Simpsons did it first. Oh, my goodness.

This month has been nuts. It has. For all of you who are like, where's the podcast this month? It's December. It's holidays and mallidays. Holidays and ballidays. Mallidays. Yep.

It's a mess. It's a mess. And then now Crandor's sick. It's just, Yeah. Look. I made the sick tea, though. You missed him going... A lot of people still want to know the recipe, so I'm gonna give you

the recipe right now. For sick tea? Yeah. Go for it. I'll sit back and I'll let you... This is your show now. I'm gonna sit back, drink my Mexican Coke, and just listen to you, baby. Hello, everyone. I'd like to sit back, drink my Mexican Coke, and just listen to you, baby. Hello, everyone. I'd like to intervene and say, don't do it creepily. Hello, Clarice.

All right. So what you want to do is go to your local grocery store, pick up these ingredients. Apple cider vinegar. That's the main one then you want uh honey lemon garlic ginger and cayenne pepper you put those all together and you create a sick combatant pause pause yes in what way do you put them together? Basically, the way you described it is go buy those things, throw them in a pot, and there you go. Well, if you want to do it that way.

But that's not how you do it. That's a crazy way to do it. How much garlic? How much cayenne? You were describing nothing. Basically, you're telling people a good way to get sick is what you're saying. No, no, no, no, no. Just drink a whole bunch of apple cider vinegar. That has to be good for you.

If you're going to do apple cider vinegar, just take shots of it. What? You're going to take shots of apple cider vinegar. What are you... This is... No. Guys, don't do anything that he's telling you to do. I've done it before. It's okay. Yeah, and look what happened to you. You became you.

Yeah, but I haven't done it in a while. Of course not. So I'd say about two or three teaspoons per cup uh and then okay per cup of the drink that you're gonna drink okay okay yeah oh yeah i thought you had lost your mind again and i was about to lay down the law but i understand you i get your crendorisms. I get you. Okay, good. And then, probably about two, three cloves of garlic. What? You smash them, and you cut them up a little bit. Not too much, just a little bit so it lets the garlic leak out. And you put that in.

And then you put in the honey. Just freeball that. And then you got the cayenne peppers last. Don't put that on. That you got the, oh, yeah, cayenne peppers last. Don't put that on. That's like the cinnamon on top. Then a lemon. Just cut up a lemon and put it in there.

That's your citrus, your vitamin C going in. That's disgusting. And then ginger. Just grate some ginger root. You can buy a ginger root for like a quarter or something. Just grate some of that in. Mamma mia. You'll be a ginger root for like a quarter or something. It's a great sum of that in. Mamma mia. You'll be feeling better in no time.

Because you will have puked out all the sickness. Much like the rest of your organs, the sickness will try to leave your body because it is so disgusted. It's been working well today on top of my vitamin C gummies. I mean like

this is like if I had created a special get well diet that was like, well, besides taking vitamin C medicine and drinking tea and getting lots of rest, also drink this bottle of Jesse's elixir.

And in it I've put in some cayenne pepper and baby tears and a black dragon fang and the toe of a dwarf. Right? Just weird shit. And people will be like, oh, that's what's getting me better.

No, it's all the other stuff you're doing. The stuff you're doing is getting you better. That drink you made is just making you feel weird. No, it's... There's a lot of health study behind it. No, no.

The only health study you know is because you went to an Asian market once, and the guy there was like, you know, it would be good for you. No, no. That's not how he talks. My bad. I'm sorry. Yeah. So, no, it's proven.

Just try it out. Every time I've gotten sick, it's worked. I'm just saying. It's proven no it's proven just try it out every time i've gotten sick it's worked i'm just saying either it works guys it's proven it's been multiple times at least at least seven plus and it's worked every time that's like clinical trials right there yeah at least seven plus and the internet a lot of internet people say the same thing they might remove or add a certain ingredient but it doesn't factor too much. You've got to keep the main ingredients. That's how it works. Sometimes you just want to play around with them, you know?

You're an idiot. That's the main thing. It might also just be a placebo, but if it is, it works well. So what did you do for your wonderful holiday what happened what happened to you what'd you do oh yeah so it's holidays we had our meetup with the fan we are our monthly patreon meetup yep that was fun that went well we learned that i love the new playstation uh video service oh i was i turned on the podcast today and i heard you guys talking about it and immediately i turned it off and went to PlayStation Playroom.

And? It was amazing. Is it amazing? It did not disappoint. First off, here's what I found. There was archives. I don't know how they archive these things, but there's like a hillbilly couple. One has blonde hair.

One's just a hillbilly, and they're just like, we're having ourselves a Christmas. And she's like, Clayton, clean up your shit. You got it all over. And he's like, did you fart? And then she laughs for like 10 minutes. I was like, what the hell? And they're like talking to their viewers. And there's like three people watching. Yes, there's like three people watching. Yes. And then

there's the live people. We need to explain this. We need to explain this. Okay. PlayStation 4 has this feature where you can watch people either stream games or play games or you can watch your friends play games, right? Yeah. But there's also a section. Strictly PlayStation users. Yeah. There's also a section in there called Playroom.

Playroom is where people who have the PlayStation camera can hook it up to their PlayStation and then just sit there and vlog live to people watching. Except they don't do that. What they do is 90% of them are people just chilling. Like there's one, the impetus of this was because I watched a couple lay on it. I was just going through it cause I was bored. I was like, I've never seen this. What is this like?

And turned it on and there was a couple laying on their bed, right? And they were high as kites, not doing anything, just laughing at people commenting. And there was maybe like 13 people watching, and they were just like laughing at them. And then the one woman got mad at someone who commented, and then started humping a couch. It was so

insane that I was like, I need to let Crandor know this is happening. And so then then the other night I had our friends Gerard and Alex over And they we were sitting there we had just gotten done Playing board game we were very very drunk Off of some

Drink a fan sent me that was Basically like super liquid Death and so it was I think it's called like tartan tea or something like that It's insane. And so we decided, let's watch this. Let's see what's on. I swear to God, the video that was number one with maybe 1,400 people watching was a girl.

It was two guys in the background. One dude with a wolf head on his head. And another guy who was playing with a pipe cleaner. And they were getting high off a hookah in the background meanwhile this girl who uh i don't i'm gonna say it was barely legal it's like stripping in front of the camera and like she's doing like dances and stuff and getting high and drinking and like flirting with the people watching while her boyfriend question mark is in the background reading the messages on his phone and like yelling at people who are hitting on his girl right it was insane and so we're sitting there watching like this is how is this a thing how like this is

insane that this is allowed to be on and she's just like dancing and and you could tell she's getting more drunk and more high and we're're like, this is going to end badly. And, of course, it becomes, like, full-on stripping, and we're like, this is insane. Eventually, we just got bored with it because, you know, after a while, it's like, all right, well, that was entertaining because it's weird. But we were like, eh, we're done. But it was, like, how is it possible that exists? One of the guys and one of the girls leave the room, And so it's just a dude playing with a pipe cleaner. It's insane.

And so I told Crandor and now Crandor is as obsessed with it as I am. Oh, yeah. So when I went on today, there is one that said the top stream was hot party girls drunk. And so obviously I had to click it and it's this like 30 year old russian man and his kid and they're like playing around with like the strobe lights and what i appear to believe like one of those you know how apple has the photo booth thing yeah it was like that and they were like playing around with that that's what it was and the chat was just like what the shit's going on and then number two number two was an asian man oh was it the asian man that i saw is he from japan well the one that i saw that one that i watched way too long of and i don't understand like it might have been an hour watching this guy

asian all right imagine close your eyes everyone listen close your eyes I don't understand. It might have been an hour watching this guy. All right, imagine. Close your eyes. Everyone listen and close your eyes. Japanese text. No idea what it says. That's the name of the channel. Japanese description. No idea what it says.

Little pink backdrop, right, with flowers on it. Yeah. A tiny little table. A floor mat that's sort of pinkish. And then on that table is a clock, and then a little scroll, and then a bunch of candles. And then next to the table, covering half the screen, is a bottle of some type of soda, but you can't really see it because the label's ripped off, and it's covering like half the

screen. And then the other half of the screen is a Japanese man sitting on the ground with a notebook in front of him. is a Japanese man sitting on the ground with a notebook in front of him. And he would take a sip of tea and then look at the camera and then go, and then start writing down something. And then take another sip of tea, look at the camera and go, and write down something.

And it went on for like an hour. I don't know what he was looking at. The comments were blowing up. Like all these people were talking to him. And he was know what he was looking at. The comments were blowing up. All these people were talking to him. He was like, he said nothing back and just wrote things down. I don't know what was going on. I still have no clue what it was about. But I watched it for so long, I was like, this might be the best thing I've ever seen.

No, I didn't know. I don't think mine was them. was like an asian man he had a japanese flag in the back and it was all japanese text too but he was sitting on the ground and people kept being like are you chinese he was like no i'm a japanese and then they'd be like are you russian he's like no i'm japanese and he said that like 20 times i was like dude they're trolling you and then he just kept saying that and then he'd play like japanese radio like the pop like they played frozen but in japanese it was really weird and i watched it for like 30 minutes yeah if you're wondering why you didn't get a podcast

that's why guys yeah that's why we were busy watching playstation live oh and then the other one was this black guy and he was on the phone just yelling at some guy. And he was like, if you want to come find me, come find me. If you want to get me, come get me. I've been mugged before. I was kidnapped. I broke out of that shit, man. And he was just going all out. And everyone's just like, what is this guy doing?

And I tuned out. And then I came back like 20 minutes later, and he's still going. and he's still going. There's like, there's, in that video of that girl dancing, there was one of the guys,

the guy with the wolf head on, and by the way, it was like a wolf head on his head. And it wasn't like a spirit hood. It was like a wolf head.

It was crazy looking. He, he kept asking for people's numbers so he could call them and tell them they're assholes. He's like, you want to call me?

Here's my number. And he kept like trying to get people to fight him over the phone. It was crazy. It was crazy. It was crazy. The stream, for people who were wondering, was called, like,

The Best Friends Y'all Could Have or something like that. It was crazy. It was. Oh, I know. Sony doesn't moderate that at all. Sony has no clue what's going on. Apparently, from what I was told, I guess when it first started, it was all porn. People would just play porn.

People would get on there and start banging. Crazy stuff was going on, and I guess they tried to regulate it. So now it's just people stripping. You know, regulation. Yeah, it's got down to a nice regulated live stream. It is so weird. 90% of it is garbage. There was one that was called Joe's Rib Shack, and it was just a dude eating ribs.

Again, I would watch this. I mean, most people watch you eat, so. Exactly. It makes sense. I don't get how it's like interact with it, though. It makes sense. Yeah. I don't get how it's like interact with it though.

Oh, there's like a whole thing where you can make the PlayStation like create little background images and cool things. And so one of them that I saw was this couple was like jump kicking the air. I'm not sure why. They're like fighting or something. And these little robots, chibi robots were watching them and like going, oh! Every time they did moves and I was like, this is great. I mean. So I would say

if you have a PlayStation 4 and you haven't turned it on because there's nothing to play on PlayStation 4, turn it on for that because it is bonkers. Just bonkers. Now you swore it again.

Yeah. Oh, it's great. It's great. All right. We've wasted too much time talking about this Yeah. Oh, it's great. It's great. All right. We've wasted too much time talking about this garbage. Christmas. Christmas stuff. Christmas.

What happened to you? Let's go back. Let's go back. All right. Traveling back in time. I ate some food. Got some presents. I got a lot of gift cards.

I got Starbucks. $50. I bought a coat. I thought you weren't going to bought a coat. I thought you weren't going to buy a coat. I seem to recall you saying you weren't going to buy a coat because you didn't think coats were necessary. Here's the thing. Were you forced into buying a coat?

No, I was at the store. I was looking at the coats, and I didn't see any I liked, but then I saw one I liked. It was one. It happened to be my size. You are continuously the worst storyteller. I went to the store and I saw a bunch of coats I didn't like, but then I saw one and I liked it, so I got it. No, it was half off. And then they had an additional 25% off.

It was like $250 marked down to like $40. I was like, you know what? If I'm going to buy a coat, this is when it's going to happen when I can get it like a really expensive coat for super cheap. So I did. There's a Twitter picture of it. Go to my Twitter. Oh man. I don't want to go look at your Twitter picture.

It's Twitter. It's probably a coat that says like Ikea on it. I go to Ikea coat. They wanted to sponsor me. Oh yeah. They want to sponsor this podcast, they're more than welcome to. Yeah. And then after that, I went to Target and bought Castaway with Tom Hanks. Why?

Because I felt like watching it. Why couldn't you just go download it? I wanted to support Tom Hanks. I don't think you supported the company, not Tom Hanks. Well, now I got a DVD. Tom Hanks already got paid. I got a DVD with his face on it. He gets no residuals for that.

Oh, well, I didn't know that, so now I got a DVD. And I'm probably going to watch that later. That's pretty sweet. That is, you have led a great, you know what, your Christmas was better than mine. I made videos and desperately tried to make Thanksgiving dinner and failed miserably. I don't know how to cook turkey to save my life. And yeah.

It was fun. I mean, yours sounds more boring than mine. That's what I'm saying. Wow. You had a fantastic Christmas. I did. I didn't get gifts. Actually, I mentioned a while ago that I didn't get any gifts. My mom sent me an email immediately afterwards like,

um, you got sweatpants and we sent you peeps. So I stand corrected. Thank you, Mom. You do stand corrected. Oh, my God. I got sweatpants and peeps. Okay, okay. Hold on.

Turns out in Chicago there's a chain of restaurants owned by Ditka. Yes, I'm aware. I have never tried them, but they have pretty good reviews, like all of them. Oh, yeah, I know, you said you were going to go to Ditka's restaurant. Did you do that? No, but I'm gonna. You should. That's something to look forward to in the new year.

Yeah, I'm going to try Ditka's. He's got some good looking food. It's got good reviews. There's some like foodies on here that are really into it. And they're just like, wow, he's got some good food. Like this one, it's got 473 reviews, four stars. That's pretty good. Mike Ditka, you know what you're doing.

I'm not sure he's doing anything. I think he's just the name. Or I could be wrong. Or my dick is behind the counter just like serving up meatballs to meatballs. Cut those fries better, you idiot. Shape those meatballs. All right. Speaking of shape, I don't know where I'm going with this.

Speaking of shape. Let's go to the traffic episode of this guy with the Grendor. Grendor, how's that traffic out there? Oh, man. Today, I can't even see the traffic. The night quill's really kicking in. I just feel really drowsy. Luckily, I'm not flying the chapter copter, but I don't know who is.

I think it's just a robot. But looking down, I just see a lot of fog. Even though it's supposed to be sunny today, I'm going to take a nap now. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk. How's the weather out there? Weather today.

Let's type in a zip code. 5-4-2-1-6. That's Kawani, Wisconsin. Really? Yep. And in Kawani, Wisconsin, it's eight degrees. It sounds like a place. Kauani sounds like a place in Hawaii.

It does. Kauani, Hawaii. That makes more sense than Kauani, Wisconsin. It shows. I can't even spot it on the map. Where is it? It's somewhere in upper Wisconsin. You can find it.

It's somewhere. I mean, it must exist. We just looked it up. It's somewhere in upper Wisconsin. You can find it. It's somewhere. I mean, it must exist. We just looked it up. It's somewhere. Yeah. And really pretty terrible weather for you guys. Yeah, 20 degrees, 24 degrees for the new year. So, I mean, if you're going out to a party, which if you live in Kewaunee, Wisconsin,

I highly doubt you are. It's going to be cold. 21, 33 on Saturday. Nice warm- you are. It's going to be cold. 21-33 on Saturday. Nice warm-up, but Monday is going to be 5. Mm-hmm. Sounds awful. It is pretty awful. Luckily, I live here where it's like double that.

Let's move on to sports. Sports this week, we have a lot of fun, amazing stuff. We do. Mostly thanks to the Steelers. Oh, yeah, the Steelers. You can talk about the Steelers stuff because you're a Steelers fan. I don't talk about my things. Oh, okay.

Antonio Brown. Mm-hmm. He is, look up the videos of him online. Yeah, he's got a lot of them. If you look up the videos of him online, you'll find out he is the most exciting thing in the world. He really is. He's like taking over Jacoby Jones' spot. Yes.

Jacoby Jones is gone. Antonio Brown is in. So his best known things as of late is, one, you can find this video online. He basically, this is Sparta's Browns player. He's returning, he's running with the ball. And essentially this Browns player gets in his way and he jumps in the air and like face kicks him right to the ground. It's amazing. You can see gifs of it all over.

It's really, really funny. against the Bengals, he essentially returned the ball twice for, I don't even know how many yards, but the entire time he's so fast that his own teammates are in his way, so he just pushes them down the ground. So he's running really fast and then just knocks them over. Like, he's so good. The rest of his team sucks in comparison. He just pushes them out of the way. It's really funny.

Like, the G the gifts and the videos online of him are incredible like i i'm mad that i didn't give a crap about the studios earlier in the season because of like how bad they were doing but now they're just fantastic they really are i just don't even know like i want them to go to the super Bowl so everyone can see how ridiculous he is. It needs to happen. It's gotta be the... He has like a bunch of records now for this. It's crazy. It's crazy. Also, what's even crazier, he's born 1988. I want to point that out.

That's a year before me. So, Grendor and I are wasting our lives. But this guy is just destroying. Yeah, but I mean, you know, I like wasting my life. It's fun. He is great, yeah. He's been good in the past, but I don't think he's ever been this good.

Yeah, I don't think he's been this good. This was, like, his big breakout year. I guess he played really well last year, but this year is just, like... Yeah, I think he was, like, MVP in 2011, too, the Steelers MVP. So, like, he's been with them for a while, but he hasn't really, like, become this legend of just, the Steelers MVP. So he's been with them for a while, but he hasn't really become this legend of just ridiculousness.

It's really funny to watch him just destroy people. Pretty great. Alright, well that's all I have to say. I can't wait for the playoffs now. After you, sir. Well, speaking of the Cleveland Browns, Johnny Manziel,

he threw a big party after saying he needs to take football a lot more seriously. What a dummy. The next day after saying that, he threw a giant party. He had some Browns players at it. And because of that. They didn't show up to practice. Yep. They missed practice.

And then some of them just got suspended from the game. So that's the cleveland does this happen a lot with with like football is this a thing that like i everyone keeps talking about like footballers and how they're like party animals i i i know that that's a thing because and most trust me i don't know jack about soccer yeah but um i know that's a thing like footballers are supposed to be like party animals and and lead crazy lives because they did an interview with a guy who was on a French team who gave his entire salary to charity, but he did it quietly, and he didn't want anyone to know.

And he did it last year, too, and he doesn't want anyone to know. But this year, I guess his team reported it. And so, like, people are people like why would you do that and he's like you know i'm very lucky and fortunate so i gave it all away and they're like in a in a league where footballers are known for their crazy lifestyles i was like is that a thing people here here i don't know that's i mean i football players and sports players here in the States get into crazy stuff, but nothing like Johnny Football level crazy. Like, I don't know.

Maybe he's just the most recent, and I just don't know. Maybe. I mean, there's also the Lions, who are a very dirty team. They've always been dirty, but they played the Packers, and Ndamukong Su, call him Donkey Kong Su, he got shoved into Aaron Rodgers as he was laying on the ground and proceeded to step back a bit and put all of his weight onto his ankle. And everybody was like, that was obvious.

But then today they revoked it and said, well, I don't think he meant to do it. But it was pretty obvious he meant to do it because he has a track record of doing this 20 times. His name is Donkey Kong. Of course he did it. Just look up Donkey Kong Sue. You'll see. Oh, man.

Yeah. Sorry if everyone doesn't like American football, but it's that time of the year when it goes down. It's the playoffs. Yeah, so. It matters't like American football, but it's that time of the year when it goes down. Yeah, so. It matters. We're very interested. I'm always interested, but I'm a nerd. All right, well, what is our big news story of the day?

Well, since it's the end of the year, I went out and found us a good article. Oh, boy. 49 tremendous things that Florida man accomplished this year. Yay, Florida Man. Okay, okay, just do the best ones. As 2014 comes to a close, it's time to salute the best and brightest of this year's class of Florida Man. Florida Man attempts to smoke crack in ICU, almost burns down hospital. Yay, okay, good.

hospital. Yay? Okay, good. Apparently, he was arrested on Christmas Eve after allegedly taking crack cocaine into the intensive care unit. Share with a patient. I like how someone's in surgery. I'm like, I gotta get that cocaine.

Just come on, man. Just come on, man. I need some crack. It's like, sir. You're going to die. If I'm going to die, you better give me that crack. Number four, Florida man claims wife was kidnapped by holograms. Yeah.

That's a Florida man. That's an episode of Florida Man. He's like, my wife has been kidnapped by holograms. And the hologram's like, no one will believe you. The aunt told investigators that the woman was drunk and that no one chased her. So, uh, turns out she wasn't abducted by holograms. Maybe. You never know.

It's true. How can anyone prove otherwise? Holograms just vanish. That's know. It's true. How can anyone prove otherwise? Holograms just vanish. That's a valid point. They're like shadows. Yep. Number eight.

Florida Man Escapes Adult Novelty Store with $300 Jenna Jameson doll and tow truck. The inner secret shop in Vero Beach and asked co-worker or asked worker

Catherine Morales some questions about the doll. Following the perp's question time, he grabbed the doll off the counter and ran out the store without paying. I want to know what those questions were, because I imagine they were creepy as shit. She's like, does this doll feel like a woman? Like, how much can I do to the doll? Like, does her mouth feel like a real mouth? Like, can I poke it?

No, you're wrong. You're wrong. He wouldn't have said that. He's a creep. He would have been like, does her mouth feel like your mouth feels? That's a valid point. That's what a creep would have said. Yes, that's what a creep would have said.

Yeah. Florida man calls 911 to check his tax return. What? I need help. I mean, it makes sense. I'm trying to check his tax return. What? I need help. I mean, it makes sense. I'm trying to think like Florida people. It makes sense that you would call 911 because that's who you call for help, right? That's true.

And he needed help with his tax return. When deputies arrived, he was still on the phone. He said he was, quote, messed up. No shit. Deputies asked why he called 911. He said it was to check on his tax return, arrest report states. Number 16, Florida man convicted of burying ex-reporter in concrete for his Magic the Gathering collection. Again, thinking like a Florida person, it makes sense.

Yeah. There's a lot of them. Yeah. Concrete, carbonite, same thing. Yeah. It's Florida. He probably can't read anyway. He's like, see, con-bernite?

Carbonite? That's from Star Wars. And he just buried the guy. He's like, I'll let him out in a few days. I'm so mad he stole my Magic the Goonies collection. That's from Star Wars. And he just buried the guy. He's like, I'll let him out in a few days. I'm so mad he stole my Magic the Goonies collection. I'll show him. Florida man tattoos Black Widow's spider on his face to combat arachnophobia.

Again, again, again. Thinking like a Florida person. That guy, he wanted to conquer his fear, so he put the spider on his face. Yeah. So he stared at it every day and he conquered it. Yeah, he's probably, he has no fear of spiders now. Unless one day he wakes up and looks in the mirror and forgets that it's on his face and loses his mind. Then we have a problem.

Florida man sent to jail after pouring hot sauce on three month old puppy. No, that guy's an asshole. He deserved to go to jail. That guy's a dick. Throw him in jail. Easily. Throw him in jail. Although, thinking from a Florida perspective, he could have been high

and probably wanted a hot dog and thought if I put this sauce on a, that's how I make a hot dog. There we go. He probably thought it was very funny. He made sense of it. Yeah. But, I mean, he should still go to jail. Oh, yeah.

No, he should be electrocuted. Yeah, easily. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no doubt. Pour hot sauce in his eyes and they'll electrocute him. Mm-hmm. There we go.

Florida men attack ice cream man who couldn't take 20 bill for pickled sausage wait there is so much wrong with that wait wait i can't even fathom this story so what so ice cream man couldn't give 20 change back for pickled sausage? Here's a story. The victim told detectives three men tried to pay for a pickled sausage with a counterfeit $20 bill. When the ice cream man questioned him, he said they pulled out a gun. He tried to wrestle away the gun, but one of the men struck him in the eye. Yeah, but...

Why is an ice cream man selling pickled sausage? Or are they just making that up? Why is an ice cream man selling pickled sausage? Or are they just making that up? Or more importantly, why did three men want one pickled sausage? Were they going to split it? They had a counterfeit 20. Couldn't they have bought as many pickled sausages as they wanted?

What even is a pickled sausage? I don't know if that's even a thing. It's a sausage that's in pickle brine? That's disgusting. That is pretty disgusting. Ew. Ew. Yep, I don't even need to look at it. Crandor says everything I need to know.

I did. Florida man arrested after urinating on in-laws carpet during Thanksgiving gathering. Look, going by my same process, if I'm Florida man and I'm at a family gathering, there's been many times I as not Florida Man have wanted

to piss all over someone else's carpet just because I hate them so much. Dogs do it all the time. It's true. Florida Man gets it. He gets it. Or he's a dog. Or that story was about a dog, yes. Florida Man pokes girlfriend in the eye after she

served him waffles. Oh, yeah, we covered that one. We covered that one. Florida man attempts to leave store with chainsaw stuff down his pants. No, that's just a boner. Just a giant metallic boner. There's a video of it as well. I mean, again, as Florida man, where else would i store a chainsaw no you gotta

see it you gotta see the video damn it all right oh wait a damn oh boy let's see this video scroll down to 22 15 seconds by the way looking at this article with all the florida men they all pretty much look the same. They do. Very easily. They all just look in their eyes. That's just like, what am I doing? Why am I here? And then they all have sort of mullets and stuff.

It's pretty awful. Yep. 22. All right. Florida man. Tempstley store with chainsaws. Oh, my God. He really is doing it. He really does it.

He really did. He really did it. He stuffed it down his pants, put a little thing over it. He really does it. He really did. He really did it. He stuffed it down his pants, put a little thing over it, and tried to get away. I mean, they noticed him, but he tried. I mean, he actively tried. He definitely did. It was

sad, very sad that he tried, but he did. He did. 23 Florida Man offers police officer $3 and chicken dinner for sex. I think we covered this one. I did. Mm-hmm. 23, Florida man offers police officer $3 and chicken dinner for sex. I think we covered this one. I think we did, too. Or there was one that was about a salad.

He offered a prostitute a salad. Oh, yeah. I think they just keep offering food. Mm-hmm. It's a new theme. Florida man resists arrest while dressed in Boy Scout costume. Look, I get that.

I get that one. Yeah. He's just trying to do his duty. I think, look, here's what I think. Uh-huh. I think this next one should be our last. It's my favorite. Florida man once arrested for fighting drag queen with a tiki torch, now dressed as

KKK member, now running for mayor. Yep. That sums it up. That sums it up perfectly. That's Florida. There's nothing, nothing. Actually, wait, never mind.

Florida man sentenced to prison for attempting to start race war near Disney World. It keeps getting better. I want to end it. Florida man surprised to learn mannequin is actually dead body. I don't even know. I don't even know. Just look even know just look like i just dress it up beautiful all right that's what we'll stop thank you guys we will see you shortly with another episode oh my goodness florida men as always to be continued.