Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 90 - Chlorophyll? More like BOREophyll!

Episode Date: January 15, 2015

Jesse embarks on his quest to reach 65 for his big payday. Meanwhile Crendor is still sick. This isn't helped by the fact that dieting is hard and Jesse is a mess. They also go crazy and become plant men.

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Grendor in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studios. Recording. Wake your ass up, it's Cox and Grendor in the morning. Hello everybody, welcome back to Cox and Grendor in the morning. Welcome back to Cox and Grendor in the morning. Hello, everybody.

Welcome back to Cox and Grendor in the morning. Welcome back. Welcome back. Does whatever a welcome back does. Pretty sure that is. That might be the second time you've ever done that. Maybe you've done that three times. I know I've heard that before.

I feel like you just watched Spider-Man and that's stuck in your brain. It's possible. I don't even remember doing it, but I wouldn't doubt it that I've did it before. You're a man of habits. You're a man of habits. I've opened up so many shows with things that I forget some of the things. Uh-huh. Well, you and me both, buddy.

You and me both. I mean, I've started to practice healthy lifestyle, so I'm using things to help my memory as well. Uh, but... I just realized what I just said sounded like a crazy

person. It did. I was only going to question your, like, I am living a healthy lifestyle. No, alright, alright, your, like, I am living a healthy lifestyle. No, all right, all right, all right. So I'm on. After our last podcast, I got on the bandwagon. I'm on the bandwagon, man.

I'm going hard to the paint. I'm going hard to the paint. So I'm going to, like, every day, gym, every day, going to eat, like, healthy. Every day I'm going to, like, take, like, you know, supplements and shit, i'm gonna like take like you know supplements and shit get my shit and shit you know and so today right now as we speak probably a horrible life choice uh i'm drinking uh uh what is this stuff called grapefruit juice can i ask a question okay what the hell who likes grapefruit this stuff is awful. People are like, it's good for you. We should drink it. It's the worst.

Wait. It is unbearably awful. All I know about grapefruit juice and grapefruits is they're always like, don't eat it with your medicine. Well, shit. Because you have it with the medicine. I'm going to die now, aren't I? Probably. No one ever told me that.

What medicine did you take today? Just, you know, like, not medicine. Like, vitamins, multivitamins. You probably made those useless. Well, great. Because for some reason, if you look up. I took them in the morning. I didn't take them now.

Oh, well, that's fine. Why would you take them now. Oh, well that's fine. Why would you take them now? That's stupid. That doesn't help you. Like, man, those vitamins are going to help me sleep. No, what about it? That's the secret. Take vitamins before you go to sleep and I just discovered it? I don't think that's the case. I'm pretty sure other lazy people would have done the same.

Your body, the vitamins sit in there, right? And then they just get absorbed i don't understand the science behind it though uh-huh so yeah that's my that's my life right now is i'm in full healthy jesse mode i got like this last year and then i gave up because it was because i just got lazy lazy. I'm back on the bandwagon. I'm back on the bandwagon, and this is how I'm going to do it. I still have my cough.

This cough is the most annoying cough I've had. You can't get rid of that cough. You are still sick. It's not even bad. It's mainly when I take deep breaths. It's like it just lingers there. If I'm just talking normally or whatever, it's fine. But when I'm like, it just tickles.

It's like I'm still here. That's like the way I was when's like i'm still here that's like the way i was when we made that animated episode where i laughed like a dolphin and nearly died oh yeah so sick so it's about time you got sick on one of these yeah i mean that's the main reason i haven't like done anything i was like when the new year hits just wait i'm gonna make a bunch of videos and start new things and make podcast and i was just like nope nothing just because i couldn't i'm still i'm still dying i'm just forcing it now look the kids want they're like where's the podcast mr j and i'm like look guys he's sick the man's dying it's like they're showing

up at your doorstep to like play baseball like we're gonna come pitch for us today? Like, aw, he's still sick, kids. Not today, kids. Aw, jeez. I was hoping he'd be ready to play today. No, besides Krendor's more of a catcher. If you know what I mean, internet. No, I don't.

I played center field. Damn you. I had the speed, you know? I had the speed to get around the field. So that's what I did. I was a really bad infielder because my arm was weak. I'll never forget when I played. I could just, like, throw it in, and then some guy would catch it

and then throw it in for me. I think I've told this before. I don't know. When I was in Little League, my best game in Little League was against my brother. Not my brother. Oh, my God. My brother.

Your non-existent brother. Can I just tell you? Day one of healthy eating and living and going to the gym. I'm a mess. Yeah, you're a mess. I'm a mess. This is what doing healthy foods does. So far, I can't remember anything.

I'm a mess. I'm in a perpetual state of, like, I think balmy sweat. This damn juice in front of me is disgusting. What? Balmy sweat? Like, I'm, like, doing stuff and more active, and so I'm, like, trying to, you know. Oh, my God. It's a mess, Crandor.

It's a mess. I'm a mess. I'm a physical and emotional. I got back. Like, literally,or. It's a mess. I'm a mess. I'm a physical and emotional. I got back. Like, literally, I've been to the gym. I came back and was like, hey, I wanted to go do a podcast. So I'm still, like, post-gymnastic because my objective today is the minute we're done, I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed. I'm done.

I'm done with today. I reset my sleep schedule, and then it was starting to turn a little bit. It was getting back at like 4 or 5 a.m. Then I got sick. That's the one thing that helped. Now I go to bed at like 2 a.m. again. So I wake up at like 9, 30, 10, and I'm like, well, the sun's out. It's going to be out for a while.

I just be like, yeah, instead of waking up. That clearly is what got you sick. You got to get the sunlight in your life. That's what I read on the back of my vitamin d bottle oh yeah i had to take that for a while and then i stopped taking it let me let me advise you kids if you if you're on any medication don't stop taking it despite what crendor says you're probably on it for a reason it's not really medication it's just like vitamin d i mean it's like people are just low on it. Like everybody's low on it. At one time.

There's not one person I've met that's just like, oh, I'm just super high vitamin D. Well, you know what? There's a lot of people who say you should. Like I think I read somewhere and it could be like a crazy article by crazy people on the internet. So don't do this. But apparently, like, I think it's vitamin D. If you take too much of it, your body gets really warm and your face starts to blush and it's supposed to be good for you.

That doesn't sound like a good thing. Yeah. Like my body overheats and my face turns red. But they say that's something. I don't know. I don't know anything about health or medicine. I'm the last person you should ask. Kremdor, he's telling me to eat yogurt.

Dude's sick. He can barely move. I said it the other day. It's because I didn't eat enough yogurt. Whatever. Same damn thing. So he's out. He's down for the count.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm trying to, like, again. God, this is so awful. Like, what is the point of grapefruit? That's disgusting. Yeah, I don't know about you. You have the grapefruit.

I'm trying. Oh, there's, okay. Hold on. I gotta tell a story. All right. Please, please do. So, I was at a, what's that place called? A great story so far.

Hold on. I'll come back to this story at a later time. I already forgot the place it's called. Wait, wait. You can't stop the show, go, hold on, I've got a story, and then go, I'll come back to it later. Well, again, otherwise it's not as good of a story. Well, all right. Let's try to work through this.

Let's try to use our brains and work through this. What was the place like? It was a retail store. Sears. No. Sears is like dead. What does it sell? It sells everything.

Walmart. That's not Walmart. It's not Ikea. What did you buy there? Uh. I don't even know if I bought anything. Sometimes I just go to stores to walk around. Where was it at?

What was it near? Uh. Was it a food place? Oh, yeah, it was. Okay. No, here's what happened. I went to Target. Are we good?

At Target? What? No, but it Target? what? how can you forget Target? it's not Target though I went to Target speaking of Target there's this crazy lady there like she's a crazy person she always talks she's from Texas speaking of Texas at our Cox and Crandor thing

she's from Texas she's like I moved here cause of my family. And she always has crazy people stories. Do you have any of them? Like you'll buy a basketball, right? And she'll be like, my grandsons love basketball. I tried playing it. And it wasn't very fun.

Like that's how she talks. And she does little laughs. I always ignore her in the checkout line if I go to that Target. Wait, does she? Wait, whoa, whoa. Does she check your groceries out? No, I don't buy groceries at Target. What do you buy?

Wait, so how do you know this woman? She's just a checkout lady. She's always there. Do you go to her checkout line? Sometimes if I want funny stories. But I thought you said you ignored her. I do because a lot of times she's crazy. So do you walk up to her checkout line, put your stuff down on the little conveyor belt thing, and then she talks at you and you just ignore her?

She's like, let me tell you about my grandbabies. They are crazy. That's exactly how she talks. You're just looking through your wallet. I just go along with it. I'm like, oh, wow. Oh, really? Wow. That's what I do to everybody. For some reason, a lot of people can't

even tell I'm faking my enthusiasm. Because they just keep going. I'm just like, and I love baseball. I saw baseball the other day. And I'm just like, oh, wow, that must have been great. And they're like, it sure was. Wow, you sure love talking to me. I'm like, what?

Why would you do that? The more you talk to them, the more they're going to be, like, wanting to tell you stories. I know. Hold on. Quit playing in the box. Okay. Where was I with this story? Oh, yeah.

Crazy lady. What does this have to do with? All right. So is the story about the crazy lady or not? No, I just remember that because I brought up Target. Oh, my gosh. You're the worst storyteller. All right.

Continue. You know, she's this crazy lady. She works at Target, whatever. So we go to Jersey Mike's. Jersey Mike's is a place I was thinking. What? That is nothing close to, like, a place that sells everything. No, well, I was thinking I was at Target, and then I went to Jersey Mike's.

Your thought process is that of a madman. So, at Jersey Mike's. If there's anyone who should not stop taking the pills that they've been assigned, it is you. Keep taking them, buddy, because I don't want to be around when you lose it. Those are placebos. Okay, sure. No comment. So, there's this lady at Jersey Mike's, and she's always, like, talking to everybody.

She's another crazy lady. And whenever you walk in there, she's just like talking everybody. She's another crazy lady, and she's whatever you walk in there She's just like what's it gonna be today, and you're just like I'll have a number seven or she's just like 42 36 20 and I'm just like What and she's just like I was just listed off some numbers trying to guess what your order was I was like I said I wanted seven and she's like did your order was. I was like, I said I wanted seven. And she's like, did you? Oh, man, I got it wrong.

She's a crazy person. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. So that's the story you stopped the podcast for? No, but this is crazy people. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Sure.

Okay. Now, I don't even remember what I stopped the podcast for. Yep. I figured as much. I mean, what we were talking about before that. Doesn't matter now because we're definitely on that train. We're on the train to crazy town. And there's like some other people there.

There's this Asian. Okay. Back to other people there. There's this Asian. Okay. Back to the target lady. There's this Asian family there. And they're buying stuff. And the crazy lady gave him high fives. She's just happy to work there. Look,

you are. First off, you can't, you can't shout out in a podcast. There was this Asian. Why not? And then, at least you followed up with there was an Asian family, but still, someone's going to take that out of context. It's going to be, there was this Asian.

People have already taken things I said on this out of context. Might as well just keep going. They're just like, Crandor said all homeless people should die. Like, what did I say that? I don't even know half the things I say. A few times, actually. That's okay. I said if a man

who pays for first class wants to masturbate in first class, he can. No one had a problem with that. Everyone agreed with me on that. First class is expensive. If you want to jerk it in first class, you go right ahead. That's why the secret is you always wait right before, and then you try to upgrade your seat so it's super cheap to upgrade to first class.

That's what I did when I flew. But the problem is everybody tries to do that, so you've got to be fast. Yeah, you've got to be fast. Yeah, because it's like 80% off then or 90% off. Willing to jerk it in first class. Yeah. They just give you a complimentary bag. I'm sorry, what?

A bag. What? Who gave you a bag? In first class, they give you like a puke bag. What? No, they give that to... What are you talking about? Oh, my God. What are you talking about? Oh, my God.

What are you talking about? First class. You know? Damn it, guys. No. No. No. That's not true at all.

Everyone has a puke bag. Oh. I didn't know that. I don't even know what to do with you right now. I'm sitting here. I don't even know what to do with you right now. I'm sitting here, I don't even have caffeine, I'm sitting here drinking fricking juice. Fricking juice. Grapefruit juice. It's disgusting. It's making me, it's making my throat sore. I can't even talk! Oh my god!

Your brain's just off today. I'm so fried. I gotta deal with your ass who's like, do you know they have bags in first class? I imagine you took one and you just put stuff into it like, ooh, a bag? And they come around with crackers and stuff

and you just put it in your bag. Like, sir, that's for puke. And you're like, oh, my. I'm going to take those home with me. That's probably the crazy lady going to play and be like, wow, I got a complimentary bag. This is one heck of a fight. That crazy lady is you. You're the crazy lady.

That's what I'm going to do when I'm older. I'm just going to work at a Target and be like 70 just like talk to everybody like they're my best friend be like Oh, what are you buying here today buying some anvil, but you got yourself a headache It's all I'm gonna do that's all I'm gonna do well I think what you should do next is go to chopper cover something's got a door cred or how's that traffic out there? Oh, man, why installed a new chapter capture switch. It's called the Teletron. And what it does is when I flip it, it switches me with you.

Did you flip it yet? No, I'm going to flip it right now. Blah. Blah. Now you're up in the sky. What? Wait, what? Yeah, it swapped with you.

Your helicopter sounds weird. I'm going to flip it back. Oh, man. You were pretty bad at flying the chapter captor. I just had to switch it around. Luckily, we had... Andrew White here. Andrew White was here to take over the controls

while you terribly took control of the chapter copter. But if we look down, we're going to see it's a really boring day. A lot of people are just driving to work, driving to school. In fact, traffic has not moved at all because everybody just fell back asleep in their cars and in the school buses and stuff. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor.

Now let's go over to the weather desk. Crandor, where are we going with weather today? Well, today with the weather, I feel like we're going to go to... Oh, man, where should we go with the weather? Is there a crazy... I'm eagerly waiting. Is there a crazy place? There's no crazy.

Type in insane. Insane. There's an insane. That's good enough for me. Insane, Jeon, Ranamado, South Korea. It's 45 degrees in insane. I'm not sure you pronounced that correctly, but okay. 45 degrees. Insane. I'm not sure you pronounced that correctly, but okay. 45 degrees.

41 degrees tomorrow. 36, 40, 43, 46, 47 degrees Fahrenheit. We've also got a 20% chance of raining cloudy tomorrow, so probably not going to rain. But you know what? Just keep an umbrella in your car. Or South Korea. So they drive cars. I'm waiting for you to., but you know what? Just keep an umbrella in your car. Or South Korea, so they drive cars. I'm waiting for you to... I'm sorry, what?

I know a lot of people there just walk or ride bikes, right? Okay, so what would they put besides an umbrella? Like, put it in your backpack. They probably got backpacks. Right? Sure, yeah, sure sure i don't know it's like i look look i'm so i'm so days think i'm so dazed and confused from day one that i literally thought you said instead of an umbrella bring a house what look that's what i thought you said i thought you went crazy turns

out i'm the crazy one i'm the crazy one. I'm the crazy one today. You are the crazy one today. You're hearing things wrong. You're being teleported to the chopper copter and almost crashing it. Look, it didn't sound like a copter to me. I don't know where that portal went to. The noises I heard were not helicopter

noises. I don't know what you're thinking. Well, it's probably just the engine kicking out. Sometimes you just got to restart it. All right. Well, restart this. We're going to sports.

Sports. Sports. I don't know. We had three intros for sports. Sports. Sports. And sports. We don't need that. People get it. We're on people get it we're on sports now sports uh so just to keep talking football news all the championship games are set up gonna be whatever

happened to when you were gonna go through news that was like crazy sports remember that remember that was a thing yeah well i am but that's when all this is over oh okay you don't have like you know yeah this is a high action nfl time this is like for the next couple weeks this is like big lead up to the super bowl then after that nothing happens then i go back to crazy sports so okay indianapolis new england green bay seattle those are the four teams that you're gonna possibly play in the super bowl i'm hoping green bay indianapolis because I don't want Tom Brady and I like Green Bay obviously. So I'm hoping Colts Packers. That'd be fun. Also

Rex Ryan is now the coach of the Bills. That's a big news story. Rex Ryan coached the Jets if you didn't know. No it is not a big news story. Nobody cares. Sorry Rex. The Bills haven't won in 19 years

For the playoffs but we're gonna change that That's what he said He's also drunk when he said that And the Jaguars now have a new coach Jack Del Rio No he coached the Jaguars now he's going to the Raiders So not very good at picking his teams to coach Not very good at all

Not very good at reporting on which team he's going to. We already know that. And really, that's sports. All right. Well, then I guess we go to our big news story of the day. I'm focused. I'm focused. I am ready.

I'm going to make it to the end of this podcast without losing my mind. I believe. So, first off off i was going to choose this new story but i don't want it anymore i found a better one the first one i was gonna choose is just walt disney world versus disneyland and i would pick disneyland i mean you made a very good choice and skip that article because that is stupid disneyland's the only one i've been to and it's in not Florida, so I like it more. All right.

It doesn't have Epcot Center. Epcot Center is great. You can go to all the world and eat at all the world and then poop at all the world. Whatever. So. I almost spit out grapefruit juice everywhere. Again, I'm the worst world traveler. Like, I would just complain if I was on a trip.

I'd be like, wow, look at the Eiffel Tower. I'd be like, it's cold outside. That'd be me. What if it was summertime? I'd be like, it's hot outside. What if it was the perfect weather? I'd be like, my feet hurt. You are unbearable.

Or I'd be hungry, my feet hurt. You are unbearable. So, or I'd be hungry. Speaking of hungry, 15 foods you should keep stocked in your fridge. Oh, don't talk about this. Why? I'm a mess. Oh, man, I'm a mess right now. What's going to help you out? Oh, my God.

All right, let's hear it. All right. Number one, Meyer lemons. What? Meyer lemons. What? Meyer lemons. Meyer lemons? They are a cross between a lemon and an orange. Meyer lemons are sweeter than the typical yellow fruit and sometimes referred to as the cooking lemon.

What? That's right. What? I've never heard of these. I haven't either. Meyer lemons. Where do we get? Now I've got to look these up. Where do we get Meyer lemons from?

On like M-E-Y-E-R lemon. Look at that. Where can I buy them? Yeah, they look like oranges, but they're lemons. Yeah, this is crazy. What? They're like a weird bread fruit. Oh, I can go and get a five pound box for 32 bucks.

Oh, man. You can get a tree for $64. Oh, I can go and get a five-pound box for $32. Oh, man. You can get a tree for $64. Oh, man. You can get a candle for $13.99. Candle? Can you eat it? I mean, you can. I wouldn't recommend it.

Oh. Minor Lemon Hand Cream. Apparently, this is a whole industry on lemons that aren't lemons. Whoa. Whoa whoa what if we just start cross-breeding fruits oh yeah like uh like bonapples that sounds horrible that's not tasty at all like apples that taste like bananas or bananas that taste like apples that is just stupid no something like a pear and an apple like Like an apple, a pear. A pear. Oh, a pear apple, the rappel.

Oh, I like pear apple. Yeah. Does that exist? I don't know, a pear apple. Pear apple. Pea apple? Nope, pea apple just leads to people. Pear apple.

That doesn't exist. I think we got it. What if it's an a pear? A pear. No, we got it. I think, what if it's an appare? Appare. No, we got it. We found a new fruit. Appare fruit. Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple, no appares.

We can combine the two. We can. Oh, what if we took a pineapple and gave it apple flavor? So it really was a pineapple. No, but pineapple tastes good, though. I like pineapple. It's true. I bought a pineapple the other day.

I cut it up. It was good. So why does it say we need this lemon stuff? I don't understand. It says we need it, but why? It says it's packed with D-limonene. Lemons have antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties and have been shown to help with mineral absorption.

Plus, Meyer lemons are in season starting around December. Hmm. Okay. I like that. I'll try some. Yeah, no, I'm on board for this. I'm looking at them. They're awesome.

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, okay, sure. I'll go with it. You know what? Step one, get Meyer lemons. Go. What's the next one?

All right. Number two is olives. Really? Why? Why? Healthy fats, anti-inflammatories, and a dozen of antioxidants. I like olives, but having them around feels like too much. I don't like olives.

I think they're just really salty, and I don't like it. Well, you're not supposed to get salty ones. Oh, God. See? All those antioxidants and inflammatories you were going to release up now, huh, asshole? Like, oh, I hate those things that would help me get better. Why are you supposed to have non-salted olives? Look, I don't.

That's because they have, like, brines and stuff. There are multiple ways to eat olives. Can you buy, like, an olive thing, like grapes? Like a bag of olives? I don't. I don't know. Olives. olive leaf extract i mean there's there's olives green olives there's like most people would get those stuffed olives or uh like the whatever what those things called like the green ones uh like those aren't those

aren't olive olives you're not supposed to well Well, what are they? They're like, you know, like olives. You know what? I don't know. I don't eat olives out of a can. Sometimes I get them on a salad. Sometimes they come on a pizza. That's all I know about olives. Yeah, but they probably take the olives, like the typical, like, jarred olives.

It's probably the same ones. They're not going to use some, like, super high-quality olives for a pizza. That's all I'm saying. All right. Well, fine. Either way, I'm not eating them. Good pizza would. Good pizza would.

Well, here's number three. It's cabage, otherwise known as cabbage. For a minute, I actually thought you had found something new. Hundreds of studies have linked cruciferous vegetables to cancer prevention. When it comes to cabbage, those links hold true. Thanks to antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties, as well as glucosinolites. Two types to try. Napa cabbage is higher in vitamin C, and kale, more antioxidants.

Let's check them out. I mean, you know, lettuce, right? Or is this cabbage? I guess cabbage isn't lettuce. Romaine is good, but cabbage is far healthier. So just get a bunch of cabbage. Get cabbage. That's what they're saying.

Okay. Yeah. Sure. All right. I'm taking this under advice. I'm writing stuff down. I'm going to be super healthy. All right. A lot of this sounds advice. I'm writing stuff down. I'm going to be super healthy. All right.

A lot of this sounds like a lot of work, but okay. Yeah. And then I'll come film and see if you do have these things in your fridge. That sounds like a horrible idea. Don't put this on me. I'll just have like a checklist like I'm an inspector. All right. Number four is avocado, which I mean, I already know about

avocados. They add healthy fat. Yep. It tastes good. They got good fat. Good kind of fat in them. And studies have found they can help with everything from weight management to heart health. Here's the problem I have with avocados. I'm just gonna say it. They're too big.

If I have avocado, I'll use about half an avocado. Then I'm stuck with another half that ends up brown and nasty. Yeah. And I don't want to use it. Well. And then I feel like I've wasted half an avocado. Or it's like eat all the avocado, in which case I've overeaten.

No. Here's what you do. I learned this from making guacamole. You use like a lemon and you put citrusy lemon on the avocado, and that prevents it from going brown. Here's the problem. Then it tastes like lemons. Yeah, it's awesome.

No, I want it to taste like avocado, not lemon. Well, just scrape the top off. This is too hard. Let's just go to Chipotle and get some guac. Yeah, that's what I would do, too. That would be fine. That's much easier. Yeah, I agree. Number five, cucumber.

Cucumber's great. I have no problem with cucumber. They're packed with vitamin A. Oh, I agree. Number five, cucumber. Cucumber's great. I have no problem with cucumber. They're packed with vitamin A. Oh, God. A, B, C, D, E. Oh, my God. Looks like you could use a cucumber, too. I need cucumbers. You need this more than I do, man.

Man, it's like, I just need to eat these. Oh, my God. I should make a super tea. Uh-huh. It'll got these. Oh, my God. I should make a super tea. Uh-huh. It'll get cucumber. It'll get avocado. It'll get Meyer lemons. And it won't even go brown because of the Meyer lemons. Literally the worst idea I've ever heard.

I'm going to combine all these into a super smoothie. All right. Well, if you're going to do that, you have to tell us what the number one on the list is. What's the number one best food we need to have? Hold on. Let me just go through these real fast. We got chickpeas. We got raw mixed nuts.

Tempeh? What the hell is a tempeh? What is what? It's a nutty textured fermented food and an excellent source of plant-based protein. Nope. Pass. Anything fermented food I'm not into.

Pass. Dates. Tinned white anchovies. Nope. Pass. I like anchovies. On pizza, delicious. Alone, weird. Pass. Shelled edamame. Nope. Pass. Edamame

is something you eat when you're at a sushi restaurant to impress the girl you're there with. Pass. Jicama. Don't know what it is, so don't want it. Pass. It's a sweet starchy root vegetable. Definite pass. Cashew butter.

I mean, that's like peanut butter, but not. So spend 12 more dollars to get cashew butter. Whatever. Okay. Go to Whole Foods. Whatever. Next. Pass. Number, go to Whole Foods. Whatever. Next. Pass.

Number 14 is shirataki noodles. Pass. I'm going to say that's stupid. Just get normal noodles. They're translucent noodles. Noodles are not meant to be translucent. But they're made from konjac, are gluten-free, net carb-free, calorie-free, net-carb-free, calorie-free, and may be mild in flavor, but act as a vehicle for all sorts of flavorful sauces, dressings, and marinades.

That's stupid. That's not even a thing. If there's no calories, then it's not even a thing. Zero-calorie food shouldn't exist. Yeah, how does that fill you up? That's not even a real thing. Doesn't your body need calories, though? Your body would be like, what the shit, Cox?

What are you putting in me right now? What is this? It'd probably just get hungry for other stuff. I'll just go get a burger. No, all right, continue, please. And then, number one. Drum roll. No, pass.

Chlorophyll 2. Or wait, that's just chlorophyll. What? I thought the two L's were two. That's just the chlorophyll. Wait, what? What do they mean chlorophyll? Should the plants? Wait, what?

It says, while liquid chlorophyll, the green chemical produced by plants, may seem like a strange thing to keep in the fridge, experts swear by it. I keep chlorophyll in the fridge and add it to water at least a few times a week. Starting the day with a cleansing drink makes you want to be healthier the rest of the day, says Glassman. There is some evidence that the supplement can help to detoxify the liver and even protect against some kinds of cancer.

Two teaspoons added to water a few times a week is enough. What? I don't know. I'm clicking on this now. I'm clicking on this now. Dietary supplement, nature's own flavor. Derived exclusively from high quality alfalfa leaves

chlorophyll is essential to the process of photosynthesis a process which man does not have what this doesn't make any sense why would you need this why would you want to use this it helps control hunger and cravings.

Controls body odor. What? What? Encourages healing. Promotes cleansing. No, this can't be real. Google. Google, I'm looking you up.

Liquid chlorophyll facts. This can't be right. Ah, here we go. What? On WebMD, I'm going to side effects. Chlorophyll is likely safe. Oh, boo. For most people who take it by mouth, it is possibly safe when injected.

What? Chlorophyll can cause skin to become extra sensitive to the sun. Wear sunblock outside, especially if you're light-skinned. It's like you've become a plant. Oh, my God! You've become poison ivy! What? Oh, my God.

Oh, no, next thing you know, Batman's out to get you. It's like you're just sitting out in the sun, and you're just photosynthesizing, and all of a sudden all the birds start attacking you and stuff. What? Apparently like it helps reduce swelling. Really?

Should we try chlorophyll on air? I think we should. I think we need to go out and get... What? I want to try this chlorophyll now. Okay, so apparently... Okay, I don't know. These are like written in things that it's effective for, but not effective for.

This is amazing. Yeah. Possibly... By the way, nothing on here lists it being effective for anything. Just possibly effective. Yeah. Possibly effective for swelling of the pancreas injected intravenously. Uh-huh.

All right. Possibly ineffective for reducing colostomy odor. So if you have a colostomy bag, it won't help you. And then insufficient evidence. They don't know if this works or not. The first one reduces the sores caused by herpes. That's a good one for you. Early research shows that applying chlorophyll to skin as a cream or solution

improves healing and reduces the number of sores caused by herpes. Great. Yep. Also, the shingles, which apparently on TV I guess everyone can get. Like, what's his name, that quarterback? Yeah, so you have the shingles. I got the shingles.

You can have two. Lung cancer, apparently. That's intravenously. We're not doing that. Skin cancer, if you rub it on. Bad breath, constipation, wound healing. Oh, man. What? We need, Crandor, we need this once a day.

It didn't say once a day. We'll do it every podcast. Unless we start doing podcasts once a day, in which case we will overdose and die. Alright. Yeah! Every time we start doing podcasts once a day, in which case we will overdose and die. All right. Yeah! Every time we start the podcast, it's like, are you drinking? We'll be like an ad for Chlorophyll. Are you drinking your Chlorophyll today?

We'll be the only people promoting something we're not even getting paid to promote for no reason. It's like, did you drink your chlorophyll. I'm going to Amazon right now. www.amazon.com I'm getting chlorophyll. I'm getting liquid chlorophyll. This is insane. Liquid chlorophyll.

Not Clorox. Chlorophyll. Liquid chlorophyll. More like borophyll. I hear ya. So I don't know what kind to get though. This one's got some good reviews. This one isophyll. I hear ya. So, I don't know what kind to get, though. This one's got some good reviews.

This one has 89 reviews. I'm going with it. Yeah, I like this one, too. The first one, yeah, liquid chlorophyll. Yep. Look at it. It's like a little tiny bottle. Uh-oh. Yeah. Whoa. The bottle that popped up on my screen changed.

Yeah, mine did. The image changed. Mine did, too. Uh-oh, that's not good. That's not good. Someone, hold on. Male nurse said, good for getting old fast and it gives you Alzheimer's. What?

Tasted bad and bland, no mint. It has 32. Well, if you put it in water, of course it's not. Of course it means it does not have a taste. It's water. Yeah. Threw mine away after an extensive research online. Good things. First, chlorophyll is a good anti-cancer substance with anti okay good chlorophyll why does it keep

making the yl at the end capitalized is in a what it's good for bones tension nerves okay it contains copper in the chemical structure copper is an antioxidant copper is in the chemical structure. Copper is an antioxidant. Copper is in the balance with zinc. Too much copper pushes zinc off the cliff. Bad immune system response. Copper accumulates in liver, brain, kidney, spleen. Causes Alzheimer's. Copper is found in excess amounts in elderly brain tissue. One more thing.

Do not believe me. Either drink it and be confused or do some research. Now I'm worried. But the one above it then says concerned about copper. And then they talk about how they strongly agree that free copper is not something we want to consume in significant quantity. The other review here concerned me because I use this product several times a week to help boost my consumption of greens. And because chlorophyllin has been found to reduce various indicators for cancer and DNA damage in the digestive tract. has been found to reduce various indicators for cancer and DNA damage in the digestive tract.

After doing some additional research on this tissue, it does not appear that the copper and chlorophyllin is significantly absorbed when consumed. Below is information from the FDA on this. I don't personally agree that there should be an RDA on copper at all, but we appear to be within reasonable amounts based on the data from the FDA. So it's okay? Yeah. So it's saying that it's got, like, it doesn't have enough to actually do damage. Kind of like how apples have, what do you call it in it?

Are we going in for this, Grendor? Yeah, I'm going in. All right, here we go. Here we go. I'm going to order this. I'm ordering it. I'm ordering it, too. Oh, no.

We could die. We could die a horrible death. Could die. We won't know it. We'll have Alzheimer's. Yeah. Shit, we don't remember why we're dying. Yeah, I'm not getting cancer.

I'll get Alzheimer's. I don't even know what the shit's going on, but I won't have cancer. That's true. That's true. I'm excited. And purchase done. Yeah. I'm excited. And purchase done. Yeah. I can't wait. We're going to have a future podcast

where we sit down and taste this live on air. Yep. I imagine it'll be awful. I imagine so as well. Can't wait. Alright, that's it, everybody. Thank you for listening. We'll be back with another episode shortly. And as always, to be continued