Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #114: How You Know It’s Time To Bet On Yourself & Take The LEAP with Heather!

Episode Date: May 19, 2021

As I come up on my 4 year anniversary of being fired, I think about all the advice I’d share with my younger self that I now know. Where would I be if I left my toxic job 10 years ago instead of holding on to the comfort and betting on others rather than myself? So here’s the advice: take a moment to gauge how the people around you are treating you and ask yourself these questions: do they appreciate my time, thoughts, and opinions? If not, get out of there as fast as you can! It’s time to shine a light on the shame, honor yourself, and find the solutions.  Rate, Review, and Subscribe to the podcast here! To inquire about my coaching program opportunity visit https://mentorship.heathermonahan.com/    Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!    My book Confidence Creator is available now! get it right HERE   If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! https://heathermonahan.com    *If you'd like to ask a question and be featured during the wrap up segment of Creating Confidence, contact Heather Monahan directly through her website and don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list so you don’t skip a beat to all things Confidence Creating!     See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, welcome back. I'm so excited you're here with me. What do you think about the new two episodes a week? I want to hear from you. Definitely want to know if you like this new setup. I hope you do. I'm doing it for you. Okay, so interesting this week. I had my second in-person board of directors meeting in Naples for HealthLink. And I'll tell you a few different things. One is that things are changing so fast right now. So for example, I live in Miami,

but my board of directors meeting is in Naples because HealthLink is headquartered in Naples. And Naples, basically, there is no coronavirus at all. No one wears a mask. You don't need masks. I'm vaccinated, but, and again, no judgment zone if you are or if you're not totally your call, but it was so surreal that I was there for a couple of days and literally driving just a couple of hours away. It was a completely different experience. And kind of surprising, I adapted to it really quick, so quick that I was driving home last night from Naples.

And I forgot to even have a mask out when I got back to my apartment building in Miami where I did need it, and I just forgot about it. I just jumped out of my car. So literally within 48 hours, I had completely adapted to this idea that coronavirus is gone. So crazy. So depending on where you're going, things are very different. I also read that Walmart announced no longer do you need to wear masks in Walmart as long as you're vaccinated, which is a huge deal. That's a massive U.S. employer, right?

So things are moving quickly. It's funny because a year ago right now, I would not. even be able to believe that, you know, this would be happening as we were all still on lockdown a year ago. Just, it's so crazy. The past year is so crazy. Our lives are crazy. Okay. So back to being surreal. For me, I used to work or I worked for a company that was headquartered in Naples for 14 years. I actually lived in Naples a long, long time ago when I first started working for them. But what's bizarre now is that when I go over for our board meetings and we do a dinner as well, and, you know, just going over to Naples now for HealthLink is so bizarre.

Of all the companies in the world, I was hired by a company that's headquartered the exact same place. The old company I used to work for was headquartered, a little surreal. And I'm not going to lie, it's always a little awkward when I arrive. Well, it's only been my second time, right? So having gone there for 14 years for this company that ended up firing me, and now going there for this new company that appreciates me, supports me, me, encourages me, is so grateful I'm on the board. You know, it's so bizarre. And for me, experiencing this, it's just, there's no words. I definitely feel a little emotional when I roll

up to Naples, you know, because your memory just triggers immediately. And you start thinking back to, oh my gosh, that last time when I got fired and driving away from Naples and how devastated I was. And gosh, it just was emotional. However, each time I go back, it's less and less, right? Now it's becoming, Naples is about health-linked. Naples is no longer about that company I used to work for. But of course, I always wonder if I'm going to bump into people from the old company, right, when we're out for dinner. And it's just, it's surreal. And a little nerve-wracking, I guess, is the best way that I can put it. It's just, the whole thing is freaking bizarre, frankly. Okay. So I am now a part of a team where people want me there are grateful

for me being there and it feels completely different. So wherever you are with work or in your life, give yourself a moment to assess how are the people around you responding to you? For a long time, I was around people that really didn't want me there, specifically one person, but I would just try to ignore it. And I'm so grateful now to be surrounded by people who want me there, who are so appreciative of my opinion. You know, for years I had pitched myself to be on that company's and I would get the runaround. I don't know about you, but I hate the runaround, almost as much as I hate crickets, right? Oh, we'll discuss it. We'll get back to you. Great idea. Food for thought. BS. So, you know, when I look back, if I were to give advice to my younger self, I would say leave,

get out of there. And even though it would have been scary, and I'm not saying it's easy, right, because you have a paycheck and you feel like you're in a safe zone, a familiar zone. What I didn't realize is the CEO position was going to change. It was going to be handed off to the woman that hated me. I was going to get fired anyways, right? So why not make the leap? Why not bet on yourself and take charge of that situation? That's the advice I would give me is believe in you, make the leap. You'll figure it out. And the sooner you do, the bigger and faster you're going to move and the bigger your business will get, right? Instead of I'm coming up on my four-year anniversary of being fired. That'll be July 27th of this. year. And I think to myself, can you imagine how far ahead I would be right now had I left 10 years ago? Oh my gosh. It would be insane, right? So yes, I understand making a change can be scary, but I do want you to know that I wish I had made mine years ago back when I felt that woman turning on me and belittling me and patronizing me. That's just not a situation for anyone to be in. Life is too short. and this past year has definitely taught us that. So make the move, bet on you, you're worth it. And there are

people out there that will appreciate you and want to be around you. Okay, so this is so crazy. I get home from Naples where literally there's no coronavirus. I roll into my apartment. There's coronavirus here. People wearing masks. So I put my mask back on. And it was so funny that I'd forgotten about it. I'd get into my apartment and I say, okay, I've got to get organized and get ready for the upcoming week. And something so big and so exciting is happening this week, I have my first keynote presentation for Google. Boom. I mean, that's bucket list. And I'll tell you, I've had a lot of bucket list moments in the last year. I did a keynote for YPO, my first one. Then I did my YPO forum, which was huge. My first entrepreneur organization, South Florida event,

that was a live in person event, and I hadn't done one, a live event in a year. So there's been these big moments, right? And that's the one exciting thing of coming out of a pandemic is there's going to be big first again, right? Like, haven't done this in a year. And it's super exciting and it feels amazing. When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business. All in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agents has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs. launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years.

They are the largest registered agent and LLC service in the U.S. with over 1,500 corporate guides, real people who know your local laws and can help you in your business every step of the way. Build your business identity fast with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free resources, forms, and step-by-step guides without even creating an account. Sign up for a free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer-drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership, certificates, bills a sale, and more, all at no cost. Northwest is your one-stop business resource. Learn how to build a professional website, what annual

filings your business needs to stay in good standing, and simple explanations of complicated business laws. With Northwest privacy is automatic. They never sell your data, and all services are handled in-house, because privacy by default is their pledge to all customers. Don't wait. Protect your privacy. Build your brand. and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit northwest registered agent.com slash confidence free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www. northwesternigestageragent.com slash confidence free.

If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Talkiatry makes it easy to see a sense. psychiatrist online using your insurance in days. Takayatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. Unlike therapy-only apps, tachyotry is psychiatry. That means you're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions

and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. All their 600 plus clinicians are in network with major insurers so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out of network fees. You'll meet with an experienced licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, build a personalized treatment plan, and can prescribe medication when it's right for you. Your care stays consistent and evidence-based. Head to tachiatry.com slash confidence and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's talkiatry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes.

Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered with lux essentials that feel effortless and look polished. They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts. Their versatile styles make it easy to reach for them day after day. Quince has all the staples covered from soft Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the markup to 100% silk tops and skirts for easy dressing up to perfectly cut denim for everyday wear. Their wardrobe essentials are crafted to last season after season. Their Italian wool coats are real standouts. They're beautifully tailored, soft to the touch,

and built to carry you through years of wear, not just one season. The quality shows in every detail, the stitching, the fit, the fabrics. Every piece is thoughtfully designed to be your new wardrobe essential. And like everything from Quince, each piece is made from premium materials and ethical trusted factories that are priced far below what other luxury brands charge. I can't tell you how much I am loving my new cashmere sweater. It's a staple for sure and I can't wait to give one to my best friend for her birthday this year. It is timeless, gorgeous and the softest thing I've ever touched. Which Quince pieces are you interested in that? I mean, from the bags to the denim to the sweater to the jackets, they're all incredible luxury high-end products without the high-end price.

Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com slash confidence for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash confidence. But the Google one, I had really wanted to have the footage of me speaking with the logo behind me selfishly. And I get that that's, you know, whatever first world problem, get over it, Heather. And I will. But I'm so excited to do my first Google keynote this week. I'm so optimistic about it about what that means for my business and moving forward.

And I'm just, I'm super grateful for it. However, I am still really looking forward to the day I get to be there on their campus live and get that Google footage behind me. That will be next. This one's happening live from my computer. But the cool thing is that I am grateful for is that same day I can do a keynote on the other coast and I never even have to board a plane. Right. So all of my events this week are virtual. Last week, it was all in person. This week it's all virtual. There's so much changing every week. I feel like I don't know what to expect and what next live event will be booked and scheduling and figuring things out with my son. But the cool thing is, with so much change and so much opening and so much positive things happening,

who knows what to expect next? And that makes me feel really excited. You know, don't forget, there's a fine line between fear and excitement. I choose excitement. I hope you're choosing it with me. Hold tight. We'll be right back. Okay.

So I've been asked a lot and I've seen so many DMs about this asking me about getting fired. And then the other one is asking me about. how to handle when people ask you to do things for free. So let me address the first one. Listen, getting fired is not a negative thing. We need to shine a light on shame, extinguish the shame, and reframe the conversation. You have been redirected, not rejected. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Oprah Winfrey's been fired. Mark Cuban's been fired. J.K. Rowling's been fired. I've been fired. You are now in good company. Whatever negative connotation you have for whatever situations in your life, reframe it, shine a light on the shame, and put it to work for you.

It's exactly what I did. It's working out pretty well, and I strongly encourage you to do the same. The more you embrace it and are a champion of it, then you don't have to hide from it. And I actually just saw a post. Someone said, listen, I have to say I was lying. I told everyone I left the car business because I was over it, but the reality I actually was fired. There's no shame in that game. Own it. That means those people weren't for you. You just fired your villain and it's time for you to take off, embrace it, put it to work for you. Okay, the other thing I've been asked a lot about this week, and it's because of a post I did on LinkedIn, I was so frustrated that three times in the same day, I had DMs to me asking me to speak for free.

Now, here's a thing. People provide a service, right? And I'm sure there's plenty of people out there that, you know, are very, very independently wealthy and just want to do things for free. Good for you. That is not my personal. situation currently. The goal is to be there one day, but right now I need to pay my bills and compensation is really important to be, right? Getting paid and evaluating where is my time best spent. My keynotes are a lucrative position for me, especially as live events come back because I get paid a lot more for live events than I do for virtual. So when people, frankly, waste my time with DMs that'll say something like, hey, Heather, are super interested in

collaborating, working together, huge event coming up. I think you'd be great for it. Here's the thing. I could just dish everybody off to my agent, but I think that's kind of cold. If I'm going to see the message, I want to respond to it, right? Because people want to have more of a personalized response. Totally get, I'd want that too when I reach out to people. And you might make, you know, a good new connection and you could be networking. You never know. So if I've got the time I see the message, I want to respond. And it's been frustrating because literally, as I mentioned, three times in the same day, I basically engaged with people in DMs, and it was that each one of them had a non-paid speaking opportunity that they felt I should do for free. One was international,

which would mean I'd have to stay up till midnight or something. It was so crazy. It's actually comical, but here's the thing. If you don't value your time, no one else is going to, you know, either. And when I first got into the speaking business, I felt I needed to do things for free because I wanted testimonials. I've got thousands of testimonials now. I don't need it. I don't need it. anymore. I'm good. Right. So maybe if you're just starting out, you want to do that to build up a little bit of credibility, test your messaging. That's great. I'm beyond that. I'm 46 years old. I've tested my messaging. It's solid. Right now I'm in this business. I get paid for speaking. And I don't want to disrespect Google and my other paying clients. That's ridiculous to me. I value them.

They value me. We're doing business together. So I basically respond back to people, hey, my podcast is free, my e-book is free, and my clubhouse events are all free. However, I am a paid speaker, and if you would like to work with my agent to find a way to book me, please do so. I basically toss them off because I get very annoyed. But here's the thing, you don't need to apologize for that, right? For a while, I felt, oh, gosh, you know, that's not nice of me, or what if it is a charity and there's no way. Well, here's what I came up with. I can toss people a pre-recorded video link that they can use so that they can gain some type of a benefit from a message. I'm able to position non-paid opportunities separately and differently than I do the

valuable paid speaking engagements that I have, which respects my clients and myself, right? We need to respect our time. So coming up with solutions like Clubhouse, like my podcast, like, you know, sharing a pre-recorded video with someone, that allows me to feel that I'm still doing good in the world. I'm still putting good out there. But most importantly, I'm valuing my time and my services, which is really important. And I want you to value your time and your services without apology. And it just remind me that, you know, Gary Vaynerchuk charges, I think charges $300,000 for a 60-minute keynote. That was the last, I heard at the end, right for the pandemic had hit. That is what he was charging. And I don't think he ever apologized once for it, right? I don't think he was sitting in his

DM's feeling bad that people were asking him to speak for free. I'm pretty sure he would send the keynote fee or send the link to the agent and keep it moving. And that's what I'm doing. And I hope that's what you're doing too because you are valuable. You are worth it. And people will treat you the way you teach them to. All right. Until next week, I hope you love the shows this week. Please leave a review, subscribe, rate review, share it on social. It means the world to me. And it really helps so much. Until next week, I'll be creating my confidence. I know you will be too.