Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #130: How To Use Perspective to JUMP START Your Journey with Heather!

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

I have just been so shocked and amazed at how the power of perspective has changed my week. Comparing where you were and where you are is an incredible way to measure gratitude and grit. Comparing yourself to others is never a good idea. But comparing yourself to who you were and what you went through is so powerful! Looking back on creating my first book to now preparing to launch Overcome Your Villains is completely different! Before, I had no idea about how to sell a book and now I am running towards a goal of 7,000 pre-orders! I am so excited for what is to come and how perspective will continue to motivate all of us toward our goals.  Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!    To pre-order Overcome Your Villains NOW and get the bonus bundle click here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com     See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Welcome back. I'm so excited to be back here with you today. I really am. Maybe I need get a life, Monaghan.

What am I thinking? Okay, but I really am so excited. All right, I have a lot to tell you today. This is kind of crazy. Okay, I don't know if I told you this. My son did horrible in virtual school. The past year has been a complete nightmare for him and I, you know, being stuck inside, him not having sports, him not being around friends.

Ugh. Worst ever. Okay. Cut to this summer. He was going to have to go to academic summer camp to make up some credits, which he was not looking forward to. However, it was the only way to do it. So the school ended up recommending, you know, we didn't want to do a virtual program.

He does not thrive in virtual, just like me. It's like, please, let us be in person. And so we found a program for him. He could live for one month in New Hampshire. It sounded amazing. It looked beautiful. Anyhow, cut to my 14-year-old is now in academic camp. We did not know.

He would be living in a tent. My son is like me, right? So we're all conditioned to what we are exposed to. And I understand there's lots of people in the world that enjoy camping and spending time in the woods. That's not me. that's not my son, right? He's never been exposed to that. So for other people, they're thinking, oh, this is great. You know, it's exciting to at least get to be with kids. And he's super excited about that part, by the way. And so happy he's made so many new friends. And that part's great.

But he just loaves sleeping in a tent and that, you know, there's spiders and bugs and he's getting bid and, you know, first world problems. But it's kind of funny. So one of the things that I do when I speak to him, I get to speak to him once a day for 20 minutes. And gosh, it's just, it's so weird. So they have no technology. You know, he said the classes are great and he's doing really well. But it is very different than where, you know, these kids had been for the past year. So I try to keep him really optimistic and focus going forward every time I talk to him.

I always talk about what we're looking forward to. And this is a great hack for you too. I use it myself, right? So I focus on that next. great thing I have coming up on my calendar or in my mind that I'm working towards. So I decided to, they told me I could visit my son. So I'm going to New England next. No, this week. Yeah, this week I'm going. I'm so excited. I, first of all, I haven't been on a trip. I haven't been on an airplane since the pandemic. And I used to travel, gosh, every week, right? So this is kind of

crazy. I haven't been on an airplane. I'm super excited to go. I'm super excited to see my son. I'm also, as you know, Overcome Your Villains is available for pre-order right now. So I'm working on my book launch team and I'm actually meeting with one of my really dear girlfriends out in Boston to help me with that while I'm in town. And so I'm super excited for a number of different reasons, but I can't wait to see my son. So I keep reminding him stay focused on mom's going to see you and X amount of days. Let's really looking forward to that. And then he shared with me, he said, mom, you know what else I'm looking forward to?

I said, oh, my gosh, tell me. And he said, oh, we get to go to an amusement park tomorrow. And, you know, just such a simple thing. But because they're in this grind of academics and during the week they don't leave and they just, you know, are in the tent and then in academic school, now that he's getting an opportunity to do is just something simple that before he would have totally taken for granted. He's so excited for it. So it just reminded me of that compare and contrast. And I know that comparison can be a big thief of joy. I actually wrote a chapter on that In Confidence Creator in my first book. But there are times where comparing and contrasting is really helpful. So I'll break it down the way that my son did for me. So a month or two ago, we had, I have quarterly board meetings for HealthLink. I'm on the board directors for HealthLink, the medical technology company based in Naples, Florida. And so once a quarter, I have to go to Naples and stay there for two days for meetings. Of course, as I've mentioned, I have my son full.

time now. He doesn't stay with his father anymore. So he, of course, has to come with me because I don't want to leave him at home alone for two days. And, you know, my babysitter situation is not ideal right now. So the last time we went, this is so funny. Okay, no, let me back it up. Back when I used to work in corporate America, the company that I worked for was based in Naples. So my son has countless times over 14 years when I worked there where he would come with me. And we would always state the Ritz-Carlton on the beach, the oceanfront, Ritz-Carlton in Naples, which is literally unbelievable. It's gorgeous. I love it. It's definitely a marquee property for Ritz-Carlton. Anyhow, so my son became used to that as, you know, a point of comparison, a hotel.

This is where he stays when he's in Naples, which that was normal for him and his routine. Obviously, cut to I get fired and I'm starting my own business. So I go from being an expert and having expertise and having built up, you know, a large paycheck and whatnot. to that literally disappearing overnight, scariest thing ever, and making the decision, I'm going to go out of my own and start over at ground zero with zero dollars. And so obviously for us, you know, vacationing and staying at amazing places like that kind of disappeared, right? We're not back to that business cadence of a pipeline where I feel comfortable doing things like that. We're not there yet, but I swear I know we're so close. The tipping point is within reach. I'm so

focused on it. Okay. So anyways, that was my son's norm. So cut to. to the CFO of the company had called me and said, do you want to stay at the Ritz Tiburon? It's really close to headquarters for the board meeting. I said, yeah, that would be great. Thank you for, you know, taking care of that for me. So he knew I was bringing my son. He wanted to make sure my son was happy and my son was going to have to stay in the hotel room when I was in the meetings. But I wanted to be close in case I needed to jet back over to the hotel to get my son something. Worked out perfect. Now, I've stayed at the Ritz Tiburon before. My son Haddon, right? So there's two Ritzcarletons in Naples, and they're very different, but they're both

super nice. I think they're nice. Anyway, so we wheel into Ritz Carlton Tiburon, which is the golf resort. And my son says, oh, no, no, no. This is the wrong hotel, which I understood. He was conditioned to, and his benchmark was the Ritz Carlton Ocean property. And so he says, no, this is not it, mom. And I said, I understand that in the past you've only stayed at the other property, which is the marquee property. This one is not as nice. But however, it's great. Like, come on.

Let's go, buddy. It's Ritz Carlton and we're not paying for it. And I got to go to work. So we get into the hotel and he looks at me and he says, I mean, he was in shock. He thought it was, he complained. He was comparing and contrasting it to his benchmark, which was the other property. And I was a little annoyed because it's. It's not that bad, right? It wasn't like I took him to a motel six. We were at the Ritz-Carlton-Tiburon.

Come on. It's still nice. But in his mind, the expectations he had were something different, which I do understand, right? But this is part of life. And I still think it's good. I want him to have the highest expectations for himself. I want to have the highest expectations for myself. I love that I know the Ritz-Carlton, Naples Ocean Front property. That's my benchmark, too. And I want to get back to it. And that's why I work so hard. I'm shooting for it. So I believe it's great to have amazing and high benchmarks. I've flown private before. You think I want to fly commercial again? Heck no. That's why I work hard. I want to be able to access things that I want and have the funds to do it. Right. So I believe in always raising that benchmark in our lives and then working

our butts off to be able to afford them when we want it. And I think it's a great lesson for my son to learn too. It's great that he's seen this whole thing that's happened with me, how I was doing financially in corporate America, how I had to start over it with nothing and the struggle, the Struggle is flipping real. However, I stay focused on my vision for my future. And I know I'm going there. There's no doubt. And I know it's hard on my son because his benchmark has changed, right? And he's saying, and he says sometimes, when will it be like how it used to be, you know, on trips and stuff again, mom, you know, when can it be like that? And I always say, let's just get this overcome your villains trending and we will be there. Okay. So he was not happy with that Ritz Carlton trip. And he complained a number of times. And we were driving home after the trip wrapped. I thought the hotel was fine. I did not see that big of a difference. And again, I had stayed there a few times.

So I knew what to expect. My expectations were set differently than his. And so he complained. And I got annoyed with them. I kind of, you know, gave him a hard time on the drive home. I said, I don't want to hear about this anymore. Like, knock it off. You sound not nice right now.

And I'm not happy about this. Cut to remember, he's now living in a tent. Hmm, interesting comparison. In contrast, right? I hadn't really thought about it. Well, I'm on the phone with him the other day. And he says, Mom, I have to tell you something. I said, what?

And he said, it's so weird. He said, I was thinking about this the other day. He said, do you remember we went over to the Ritz-Carlton, Tiburon, for your board meeting? And I complained the whole time. And I started laughing. I said, yes, I do remember that. Very clearly, I remember that. And he said, oh, can you believe now that I live in a tent where it's raining every day?

the mud and I kill bugs with a flip-flop that come on my head when I'm sleeping. He said, I can't believe I complained about the Ritz. I was so proud of him right for that perspective, and I challenge you to take a look at perspective in your life and what are you comparing contrasting. And there's two really positive ways to see it, right? There's a positive way, like for me, that I can compare and contrast to that Ritz Oceanfront property and know that I've been there, haven't been there in the past three and a half years. However, I'm coming back for it, right? I will be financially back to where I was and beyond all day. I mean, the pandemic obviously set many of us back, including myself. However, I have the vision for it. I know what it looks like. I've been there. Comparing to that benchmark,

for me, is good. It keeps the bar super high. I'm crystal clear on what it's like. I've experienced it. I'm going back at it and beyond, right? Like, I'm so clear on that. So I do like having that comparison at times. But I also like the perspective my son shared, which was really insightful that, gosh, I can't believe how ridiculous I was being now that I have a different benchmark for what low end is. So it was also good to see things can be a lot worse, right? So now the next time we go somewhere that he might not like the hotel, you know, might not be the five-star hotel he would hope for or has had in the past. I don't think I'm going to hear one peep out of him because he's going to cross-reference it and contrast it with living in the tent with the rain and the bugs and whatnot.

So it's been, listen, it's not been ideal for him, but it certainly is great life experience. And it's also helping me because it's helping me take a step back and like the pandemic, right? And I do, I really leverage the pandemic in my own mind a lot to say, okay, I'm having a tough week right now. I'm having a tough this or that. But I'm still able to go outside of my house. I'm still able to see humans and talk to people in real life. But I really feel so grateful for that.

And I will not let myself forget that. I'm going to compare and contrast the way my son is using the tent to compare and contrast to other places he may stay. I'm using the pandemic to compare and contrast what resilience is for me, what I can live through, what I can survive in. And any time I pump the brakes and I'm having a bad day and say, oh, gosh, this is tough. or things aren't turning out the way that I hoped, which happens all the time, right? Everyone has a bad day occasionally. I remind myself of what it felt like being locked inside of my apartment with my son, with him on virtual school, and me not knowing how I was going to make money when live events disappeared overnight.

So definitely taking a moment to appreciate this idea to compare and contrast and how, even though I wrote in Confidence Creator that's comparing yourself to other people is the worst thing, there are moments where it's super powerful to compare and contrast and to set those benchmarks high. And then also take a look at those lower moments so that you can reference those for strength and resilience, which I hope you do. And I hope you can take a moment right now just to think about where can you compare and contrast, where you've been and where you're going. And I will tell you, we are going big. And this is the year. So I do want to share with you something that I'm working on. I've been talking to you about overcome your villains. In Harper Collins leadership, I had a

meeting with them last week. And they made a really good point. So interesting to me, when you can work with diverse people and different people that you're not used to speaking to, you're going to get new ideas. So whoever you're currently working with, think of other people. Maybe you can tap and access so you can start getting some different ideas. It's so helpful. But immediately, I was on a Zoom meeting. We had a new team member from HarperCollins show up that I hadn't ever met for a woman name Becky. And she says, Heather, where you're sitting right now, do you sit there when you do podcast interviews? I said, yeah, I do. She said, but your book isn't in the screen at all. She said, can you go ahead and replace the artwork behind your head with the artwork from the cover of

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Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www. northwest registered agent.com slash confidence free. So for you, when you're doing shows or you're doing interviews or think about what does that backdrop look like, how can you potentially brand it to subliminally connect with people? So I went to a print store locally here in Miami, and I ordered the dimensions of the artwork that I have hanging in my wall. And now it looks unbelievable, this massive piece of art, which it's not a piece of art. It's really a poster, but it looks like a piece of art, which is the cover of my book.

And it's great branding. So I love that idea. I'm so grateful that I had this woman on the call, and it was so obvious to her. I had no idea. Here's another thing that's interesting. In 2018, I launched my first book confidence creator. I had no idea what I was doing. I wrote that book so fast because I knew I needed a product to sell to drive revenue.

I had just been fired. I had no idea what the book business was about, and I made plenty of flipping mistakes along the way. However, and I will always say it's done is better than perfect. And I'm so proud of my book confidence creator. If you haven't read it yet, you need to. It's amazing. Okay. So what's interesting is now cut to here, here where I am, you know, three plus years later,

and I'm working with an iconic company HarperCollins leadership. And I actually, it's my second book now, so I have a little bit of comparison, right? I've met a lot of people who've done books. So I have more knowledge around the book process, but I'm not an expert like I was in sales and sales leadership in corporate America, right? I'm crystal clear on that. I'm only a couple years in on this thing. So when I meet with these teams and these women and men that I work with at Harper, this is all they do.

They've been doing it for 20 plus years. My agent's been in the game for 20 plus years. They're all experts. I'm the one that's not. I'm the rookie. So they teach me a lot. And it was super helpful on this meeting this week. They shared with me, Heather, were in window called pre-launch window.

I didn't know that with my first book. I didn't know there was a pre-launch window. I said, well, what's my objective? You know, set the expectations for me. Teach me what I need to do. and you're going to flip when you hear this. Well, I flipped when I heard it. They said, we have a goal for you of 7,000 pre-orders by November 1.

That's a huge number, by the way, right? Oh, and you can't do any bulk orders because the first thing I thought was, oh, I'll just tap all the companies that I know and have them each order 500 or 1,000, and I'll be done with this in a week. And they mentioned, oh, and by the way, these have to be by individuals, not by companies, and no bulk orders. Okay, that idea is out the window. Moving on, on to the next one. So I said to myself, okay, strategy, Heather, think how can you find a way to knock this out and do it smart? Right? Because, yes, I can sit on social media all day long and DM everybody and message everybody.

But that's a colossal time-consuming project that that's not the smartest way. So I start thinking, how can I go one to many? You know, how can we do that? And they shared that best practices is being a guest on podcast. I can do that, done it a million times, got my own podcast. Yes, hands up. Count me in. I'm going to go on a ton of podcast to promote the book and promote pre-order. But then I thought to myself, I'm the potential reader. I'm saying, why should I pre-order this? I'll order it when it comes out. So to that end, I said, okay, Heather, what value can you provide and then remove on November 1st so that people are motivated? There's a reward. There's a reason to buy now. We need to give people a reason to buy now. this is what I decided to do. Any, okay, first of all, I created this whole book launch team initiative, which is amazing.

And I recruited a couple of friends of mine, a couple of clients of mine to really help lead this initiative. And it's been, we're just starting out in the last week. And it's already we're having great, great moments. I'm super excited. So if you want to be part of my book launch team, go to Overcome Your Villains.com and sign up for it. I would so love to have you. It would so need the help.

So appreciate having a team of my book. people helping me to achieve this goal. And I'm giving a ton of value for it. I'm doing live Zoom trainings. You're getting access to the book before anybody else. I'm launching chapters to you directly. I'm giving you a bonus chapter that didn't go into the book because I wrote it after the book was done. I'm giving you, oh my gosh, my overcome your villain's workbook is amazing. I just finished it. It just went up. All you need to do is you can either send a screenshot picture of the receipt of your pre-order, or you can put the actual order number in on the site, Overcome Your Villains.com. And once you do that, you get the workbook or you get all of

these added values. You get to come to my Zoom meetings, and you can join and become part of my book launch team, which would truly mean the world to me. So I didn't know any of this stuff, right, when I launched Confidence Creator. And Confidence Creator did amazing on Amazon, but I didn't know that for the three, you know, plus months leading up to launch, you. You're supposed to be selling books. I didn't do that. So this is just yet again another example of I wasn't asleep at the wheel. I was a novice.

I was new and I wasn't accessing the right information or knowledge. I didn't have those people back then at Harper Collins to tap for help. So things are going to be very different with this book. And I'm super curious to see, you know, what is the outcome? How different is the results with this book? Because I have this knowledge, because I'm getting a blueprint. And of course I'm going to share it with you, everything that I learned. I'm happy to share with everybody. But we're in this window right now.

And they only tell me what I'm, you know, it's not like they say, Heather, here's the whole roadmap and plan for the next year. They don't do that. They just say to me, right now, this is what you need to do. And here's your deadline. Here's your goal. Here's your deadline. They're crystal clear on that, which is great. I would like to be able to see out, you know, further. But for now it works. I've got a huge number, 7,000 that we are going to hit. My book launch team is amazing. And I'm in a, in short, And I guarantee this. I'm going to give so much flipping value to everybody that helps me on this because I want everyone to walk away feeling like they got more than they had to give because that is the right way to do business. And that's how you get people advocating for you, helping you, supporting you and cheering you on. And I am praying that you can help me in this initiative. It would mean the world to me. Please pre-order the book. We've got 7,000 to go people and we are going to get it done. And Overcom Your Villains.com. That's a spot to check it out to sign up. to pre-order. I've got all the links right there. It's very different. Oh, and P.S., I never even

had a Confidence Creator website, right? So yet again, version two, round two of this is incredibly different. Whenever you start over, you're starting, you know, as a rookie and you're going to make some mistakes. But I'm really excited this time. I'm going to make a lot less mistakes because this time I've got a team and you can join the team. Okay, hold tight. We're going to be right back. me a different guess. Okay, I want to answer a question that I received. It was a DM to LinkedIn. Hey, Heather, I hope you're doing well. I have more questions to ask you. This person's asked me a few. No problem. Honestly, would love to book personal coaching with you, but unfortunately right now, I can't afford it. Totally get it. But I will most definitely pay you back one day when I can if you

could help me now. I'm sitting at a crossroad in my life with regards to my personal relationship as well as making changes in work. That's interesting. I just want to pause for a moment and bring your attention to this. That's not shocking to me, right? Because I got fired from a job that I hadn't loved for a long time. I was in a toxic work environment. I was not in a good situation. I wasn't happy. And once I got fired, you know, I, gosh, I had a roller coaster ride of the next year, year and a half and trying to get my business off the ground, not knowing what I was doing, being so scared. but then within those first two years, I ended up ending my engagement with my fiancé. So, you know, there was things that I wasn't happy with at work for a long time and in my relationship, and I wasn't dealing with either one of them.

So I just want to bring attention to that sometimes it's not shocking to say you're not happy in your personal life or your work, probably similar reasons, right? Either you're not dealing with situations, you're ignoring situations, you know, you're repeating behaviors in some way, somehow in both. So just something to think about. And equally, you know, I talked to one of my really good girlfriends in Atlanta and she loves her husband and she loves her friends and works out. Like, she's happy with everything in her life.

And that's not shocking either, right? So just take a look. There could be some patterns, but it's up to us to notice them and then take action to change them. Okay. Here's what I'd like to know. When you got fired, yes, what did you do to get going with your business? Okay, the first thing I did is I said, I need a product to sell.

And I wrote a book and started pounding the pavement selling the heck out of it. That led me to find out there was a speaking business. I didn't know there was a speaking business. Then I pumped the brakes and said, wait a minute. I make way more money in the speaking business than selling books. I went all in on the speaking business. And just as that was taking off for me, the pandemic hit. And my speaking business disappeared overnight.

Then it slowly started coming back in virtual speaking business, which is you get paid a fraction of the price. So it's not as lucrative as the real speaking business. And it definitely dried up the business a ton. I've met with a few different speaker bureaus. And they've laid off so many people because the business just disappeared overnight. However, the great news is it is definitely coming back. I'm getting so many inquiries right now. And I'm so hopeful for sure 2022, it's going to be huge,

but definitely hoping for more in-person events for Q4 of 2021. one. Okay. So she's asking, you know, how, listen, it was messy. How did I build my business? Messy, made tons of mistakes. If I could go back now, I can't, right? So, and I'm still, I'm so glad I have my book. I'm so glad I am in the speaking business, even though it made it for the hardest year during the pandemic. But, you know, to make money immediately, if you're looking to start a business, think about what product or service that you can provide that adds value for others that they will pay for. And before you quit your job right now, test it. That's the kind of stuff.

I wish I had been working on all that before I got fired. But of course, I didn't know I was going to get fired. Hey, Heather, how did you get people to buy into you and your services? I will tell you what I did. I offered 100% money back guarantees. And I encourage everyone to do that. First of all, just badass, right? Like, I know, I guarantee you're going to love the experience you have.

I guarantee you're going to love my speech. I guarantee, you know, that you're going to love working with me. That's the easiest way. That's, it removes the barrier to entry. Did you do any courses to upskill yourself in order to get paying customers? No, I did not. Listen, I'm a fan of investing yourself, but if you don't have the money, and I definitely did not, I didn't know how long it was going to take me to start making money, and I was not sitting on piles and piles of cash, right? So for me, I just, no, I did not. Okay, if so, of course,

did you do, I did not? Or did you literally only take your past experiences and just build your business? Literally, that is what I did. I just took my experiences and expertise, from the media business and said, okay, I need a product to sell. I'm going to figure out how to write a book. And I got to move fast. I knew speed to market is critical, right? So I moved incredibly fast. I made tons of mistakes, but I got a product to market. And then I said, you know what? I know how to sell. I've led sales teams my entire life. One thing I can do is sell. So Heather, get going, sell this book. And so I started truly pounding the pavement, calling companies, asking if I could come in to speak to and if they'd buy copies. And I mean, I would cold call, hundreds of companies a day. That's how I started getting momentum with my first book. I didn't know this pre-order strategy. I didn't know to go on podcast. I didn't know any of this stuff. I just did what I know how to do from my career, right? My previous career. And so I never even knew there was a speaking business. I fell into the speaking business when I was out pounding the pavement, selling my book. So a lot of the things that you're going to do, you're going to make mistakes,

you'll figure out by taking messy action. That's at least how I did it. How long did it take you to get financially independent again. That's an interesting question because the pandemic set me back a year, right? I was literally, my business was exploding in Q419. The speaking business for me, just it started blowing up. I was so excited and so hopeful. And then everything disappeared. It was a hard hit, right? But like I was talking about with my son and compare and contrast, I also know I survived that. And once you survive something like that, you can survive anything. So got to see it as a positive. it made me more resilient, right? And I had to figure out how to become a consultant and a coach and, you know, get into courses and group coaching and trying and testing all different things.

So, no, it has not been easy. No, I was not making tons of money the first couple of years at all. And then when the pandemic came, it truly wiped me out. So here's the thing. If you're not happy at your job, you need to leave. Set a timeline for yourself to get out of there. Don't focus on how long is it going to take until I'm sitting on a beach. You're going to have to make sacrifices. You're going to have to take messy action. You're not going to have all the answers. And while you may be scared, that means you're in a growth phase.

You're growing. See fear as a green light that means go and go faster. If you could write a letter to the version of you five years ago, what would it say? Leave that job. Leave that bad relationship. So take that advice now. That's actually part of my Overcome Your Villains workbook. So I have to tell you, the workbook is incredible.

I'm so proud of myself what I created. I can't wait to hear what you think about it. When you go to Overcomeyourvillains.com, you upload your purchase order number for my new book and for your pre-order Overcome Your Villains. You can download immediately the Overcome Your Villains Workbook. It's going to help you so much. I'm so so proud. I can't wait to hear what you think about it.

So please check out Overcomervillains. dot com. Pre-order the book now. Let's cut this number from 7,000 down to zero and accomplish this goal. I'm crystal clear on it. I so appreciate your help and looking forward to what next. By the way, I will be reporting back on my trip to New Hampshire by next week. So hopefully it goes well. I can't believe I'm getting on a plane. I can't imagine what you're doing new. I can't wait to hear. As always, DM me. Send me a message at my website, Heathermanahan.com. And please, pre-order the book. No one succeeds alone, and that includes me. Until next week, keep creating your conference. You know I will too.