Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #14: Building Up Your Life Resume with Jesse Itzler
Episode Date: August 6, 2019My guest this week is Jesse Itzler--an entrepreneur, author, and former rapper as well as the co-founder of Marquis Jet, one of the largest private jet card companies in the world, a partner in Zico C...oconut Water, the founder of The 100 Mile Group and an owner of the NBA's Atlanta Hawks. He and his wife Sara Blakely have four children. And yes it is surprising that even Jesse Itzler has wi-fi issues. Meeting Jesse was a funny experience. He was walking a little slow and explained he had just run 40 miles the day before and was feeling a little sore. 40 Miles!?!?! What?? I feel proud of myself after I do a spin class. Clearly, I was going to need to up my game. The one word that comes to mind when I think about Jesse is EXTREME. He goes after it and by it I mean whatever it is he decides he wants. That is how he became a rapper and how he built so many successful companies. When he decided he was in a funk and his routine wasn’t working for him, he invited a navy seal to move in with him and his family for 30 days and then he wrote a best-selling book about the surreal experience. Jesse Itzler is a one of a kind. He is also incredibly kind and taught me a lot during this episode. Not only do you get to learn from one of the most successful men I have ever met but I also make a big announcement on the podcast today and I am so excited to share it with you! I promise you this one is big and it may even have something to do with my guest!! HINT! And thank you to today's sponsors: Great Courses Plus = Go to TheGreatCoursesPlus.com/CONFIDENCE to access their entire catalog for FREE for the entire month RayCon = Go to BuyRaycon.com/CONFIDENCE to get 20-percent off your order Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this link and when you DM me the screenshot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you! My book Confidence Creator is available now! If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! DM your questions for the show Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Thank you for listening to this Podcast One production.
Available on Apple Podcasts and Podcast One.
When you join me here, Podcast One, you're going to chase down our goals.
We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow.
And welcome back to creating confidence.
I'm so grateful that you're here and that you're with me this week.
I am freaking out about this episode and about the story behind the story that I need to
share with you. So hang with me for a minute while I give you the backstory. So this whole thing
started about a year ago. I've mentioned before, a really good friend of mine, Scott McGregor,
had reached out to me and I had just launched my book creating confidence and it had just dropped
and I was all over the country promoting it, really working hard, getting the word out about my book.
And Scott reached out to me during that time and said, I need a favor. I need you to write
be a contributing author along with a number of other contributing authors in my new book,
Standing O, which is all about gratitude and how you're grateful for someone in your life,
how they affected you in a positive way.
And I thought, my gosh, I have no time.
I don't want to take on another endeavor or something, another book to promote, blah, blah,
whatever excuses I was coming up with in my head.
But I just knew one thing.
This guy always posts for me.
Whenever I ask for anything or help with anything, he jumps right in.
So I had to jump right in.
It's the right thing to do.
So I was happy to do it.
I wrote a chapter for the book Standing O, which is an amazing book, all for charity.
I mean, how can you not want to be a part of something?
So good like that.
So I became really good friends with Scott over the past year.
Now, back then, I hadn't known him that long.
And we really started developing our friendship through the book, Standing O, and through
supporting one another.
So during this time, he's been on this journey with you.
me, you know, as an entrepreneur, as a speaker, and now as a podcast host, and as an author,
he's really been there every step of the way, always trying to help me out, always trying
to connect me to people that might be able to assist me or help increase my network.
And he's been such an amazing ally, an advocate, and friend to me.
So this backstory goes back to him.
When I launched my podcast, he was one of the first people to call me again and send me
a note saying how proud he is at me. He's such, oh my gosh, such a great ride or die friend.
So anyways, he reaches out to me when I launched this show and he said, hey, we need to get you
some really major guests. Let's brainstorm right now, Heather, on who would those people be?
You know, what does that great guest look like for you? So we started talking and sharing that I,
you know, I wanted to showcase people who had reached massive amounts of success, overcome adversity.
you know, really done the work.
And immediately he said, Heather, we need to get Jesse Itzler on your show.
And I thought, yeah, that would be amazing.
However, this guy is on massive shows and my show is still relatively new.
I don't know.
Do you think that we could get, you know, get him on?
He said, I'm not sure.
However, I am.
You know, he knows Jesse.
And he said, I know Jesse.
However, I'm really good friends with his business partner.
Why don't I connect you to him?
And I can't promise anything, but let's start, you know, the ball rolling and see what happens.
And in any situation, no matter what you're doing, you've got to lay the groundwork.
You've got to take those steps in order to get things going.
Who knows if it'll take a week, a month, a year, two years, but you've got to start that process.
So I said, great.
He gave me his number, sent an introduction for me.
And I got on the phone with Jesse's business partner, and we hit it off.
He's a great guy.
and we got along really well.
I was trying to help him with a couple of different connections.
And in the end, I said,
is there any chance that you think you could help get Jesse on my show?
And he said, oh, gosh, Heather, we're really trying to cut back on podcasts
because he was doing a number of them for a while.
And it just took up a lot of time.
Of course, the guy's really busy.
And he said, so I don't know.
I said, okay, totally get it.
Completely understand.
And I had to ask, however, you know, in the future, if there's an opportunity, just know in the back of your mind, I'd love to have him on my show.
He'd bring a lot of value to my listeners.
And I think I could bring him some value through promoting him on LinkedIn, you know, trying to add value and talk about how it could be, you know, mutually beneficial.
And of course, I said, and I'm happy to go to him any time because, as you know, I just so believe in the importance of face-to-face and being with people, you know, live in real time.
And so his partner said, okay, got you.
I hear you.
You know, if there is an opportunity, we'll definitely keep it in mind.
So a couple days passed and all of a sudden I get an email from his business partner
connecting me to Jesse's assistant out of the blue.
And it just said, hey, let's get Heather's podcast scheduled ASAP if possible if Jesse has an opening in the next, you know, couple of months.
So I was so excited.
and his assistant was so nice to me and just such a sweet person.
So she and I were back and forth trying to figure out, you know, how could we make this work?
And I was really, you know, imposing upon, no, I'll come to Atlanta.
Oh, no problem.
I'll come there.
I'll come there.
And I kept getting kind of blown off about that.
So finally in the end, I said, okay, whatever.
You know, if the best that we can do is a Zoom interview, let's do it.
Because I still want to bring the value and we'll just move forward with that.
I was a little bummed out. However, you know, life goes on. So it comes the day that I have,
the podcast is scheduled for Jesse. I'm on the Zoom with his assistant first because she wanted
to test the computer out and make sure everything was all set for him before he came on and it
wasn't working. And so the Zoom kept going out and I let her know. I said, listen, I just did
a Zoom podcast yesterday and I didn't have any problems with this. I think it's,
on your end. And she agreed. She said, listen, we're having some major internet problems. I don't know.
Let me go into another room. Let me go outside. So then Jesse gets on and was super nice and said,
hey, you know, we're trying to figure out a way to make this work. Let me go to another area of the
house. Let me go to this area outside. So there was this whole back and forth of trying to get the
Zoom to work. In the end, it just wouldn't work. It kept cutting out. So that's when I said,
listen, one of my best friends in the world lives in Atlanta. It's such a short plane ride for me
from Miami. Why don't I just come up there this week and we can just knock it out? It's 45 minutes.
And so he said yes. And that was, it ended up being just the greatest opportunity for me to get the
chance to meet him face to face, meet his assistant and get to know him. So I flew out to Atlanta
and I was so excited because I get to be with one of my best friends and stay with her and her husband.
their family and I hadn't seen them in months. So it ended up being this really amazing opportunity
and such a meaningful trip for me. So I go out there. And of course, I'm keeping my friend Scott
updated with what's going on the whole time. So during this time I said, Scott, who else do I know
that knows Jesse? Because while I was doing research on him, as I research anyone I'm going to interview,
I wanted to find out, is there any other point of contact that I might have? And he said,
oh yeah, Heather, you know his trainer from social media.
You guys are connected on social media.
So I messaged his trainer and said, you know, I wanted to get him in the loop and see,
do you have any questions you think I should ask, Jesse?
So I was really trying to understand as much as I could about Jesse before I went to interview him
and talk to everybody that he knows that's meaningful and important in his life that I might know.
So I take these steps.
I go to my good friend's house.
We have a great time there.
And the next day I'm going to interview Jesse.
And I was really excited.
I was very prepared.
And I get to his house.
And I will tell you, there, I have, over the course of my career in my lifetime, I have
known a few different billionaires.
And in my mind, that stereotype or the experiences I've had with people with that amount
of wealth is sort of.
of, I see it one way. Now, when I got to his house, I was really surprised.
Other than, you know, obviously, there was tremendous security and, you know, that part's,
you know, a little different versus what I'm used to. But once you walk in the door,
it was like walking into your own home, super comfortable, pictures of the kids, you know,
really normal is the best word that I can think of. And it was, it made me feel so,
relaxed and at home and everyone there was so nice and so accommodating and really just it was an
amazing experience. So it was brought down into a room to wait for Jesse. He was on a call
or in a meeting and I was sitting in this room waiting. So I am a little bit curious. So I start
looking around and I see there was a magazine cover or book. I don't remember exactly what it was
was Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spinks, Jesse's wife, on the cover.
And so I pick it up and I'm so excited looking at it.
And I think, oh my gosh, I should totally take a selfie holding this book, standing in front
of their bar, you know, and I put that on Instagram.
And as I'm about to stand up and do it, I think, oh, my gosh, you knucklehead.
This is probably not the best idea if you ever want to be invited back here again.
I bet there's probably cameras.
So luckily, now that I'm in my 40s, I have a little bit more wisdom than when I was in my 20s, I start to look around.
I see a camera and I say, okay, all right, Skippy, dial it down a little bit and put the book down, sit back down.
Okay, so I get myself back together and I am just looking through my notes or whatever.
And in walks, Jesse, and he couldn't have been nicer, amazing energy, you know, just such a great guy.
And the best part about this was he brings me into his office where we could record.
And I pull out my, I have a traveling microphone so that I'm able to interview people on the road and be able to go to their homes and interview them when, you know, we can't do it in studio.
And I pull out my microphone.
He says, oh, you're packing props.
And I said, no, I'm not packing props.
This is legit how we're going to do the show.
And he was really blown away by that.
So I thought that was kind of funny.
I pull everything out.
I'm getting organized because I wanted to be respectful of his time and I did not want to go over.
And he said, hey, hang on a second.
Tell me about you, Heather.
I want to hear your story first before we start talking about me and go on your show.
And I thought that was so nice.
You know, so many people are rushed in their day and, you know, are in back-to-back meetings, which he definitely is.
However, it was really thoughtful and just really sweet that he wanted to learn about me and hear about, you know, what
I'm dealing with in my life. And it was so cool. I end up telling him about my son and how he had that
awful experience at sleepaway camp. And I was nervous because he was actually at the Duke camp right
then. And then it was so ironic. Jesse tells me, oh my gosh, I went to the men's basketball
sleepaway camp at Duke. And I know Coach Kay, and he's my friend. Your son's going to have the most
amazing experience. And then he opened my eyes to something really cool. He said,
Heather, the fact that he had this negative experience is good. That is a character-building moment.
Life is not easy. And he said, I really celebrate those challenges that my kids have and face,
because then they can see they were able to overcome that. They were able to overcome that adversity
and bounce back. And he explained to me that it was probably a really great thing that
Dylan had a negative sleepaway experience because now he was in this amazing experience and it would
open his eyes to the fact that just because you have one difficulty or challenge doesn't dictate
the rest of your experiences. It just shows you that you can grow from it, overcome it, and then
have great experiences moving on. So I was so happy to hear that. It really made me feel so much
better. And in the end, he was so right. My son loved Duke Sleepaway Camp, already signed up for
next year, wants to go the whole time. And it ended up being this great bounce back story for a 12-year-old.
So that was so cool and made me feel so much better.
Now, all this goes on, we have a great interview.
You're about to hear it.
And it was just such a great experience.
I had to jet out of there because I promised my girlfriend I would babysit her little son so she could go to a meeting.
So I had to run off.
But Jesse was so nice.
And I said, you know, we'd love to work together in the future.
And he said, let's stay in touch and, you know, keep me updated on your progress and your business.
I'm behind you.
I'm cheering you on.
He was just such a great guy.
So I leave there.
I call Scott immediately.
You know, I'm so grateful and thankful for him.
We're talking and he says,
you know what, Heather, you should be speaking in Hypergrowth Boston in September.
I know Jesse's speaking there.
You know, you guys hit it off.
You guys should work together again.
He said, I'm going to call the CEO and tell him that you need to be on that lineup.
So yet again, my good friend makes a phone call for me.
And wouldn't you know, a week later, I hear from the Hyper Growth Boston team.
and they were amazing.
And they said, Heather, we'd love to have you as a speaker at our event.
Would you be able to do it?
You know, let's work out the logistics.
Let's set up a call.
And I was so excited.
And then I heard that they wanted me to interview some people.
And at first, you know, when you create an idea in your mind of what you want and how you
want things to be, you can feel a little let down when it doesn't turn out that way.
So at first, when I heard, I got a message saying that.
that they wanted me to interview someone instead of do my keynote.
I was a little bummed out.
However, in the end, it ends up being this amazing opportunity
because what I found out is I'm interviewing Jesse and his wife, Sarah Blakely,
which is such a cool thing because now I have this friendship with Jesse.
I haven't met his wife yet.
I'm so excited and honored to get the opportunity to meet her,
but to be able to work with both of them together is I'm so looking forward to it.
It's going to be amazing.
And all this happened and started over a year ago with a good friend of mine reaching out to me,
asking if I could help him with something.
And I just think it's so important that we're grateful for the good people in our life,
that we make time for them.
And when they need us, we show up for them because my good friend Scott shows up for me all the time.
And in other serendipitous information, he actually reached out to me about a week or two ago
and said, Heather, we're coming out with our new book, Standing O,
encore again all for charity he said and i met with my team to figure out who was going to do the
forward and who was going to do the quote for the book we decided jesse isler if he would do the
quote he's agreed but the team would love it if you would be willing to write the forward i had never
written the forward for a book before i'm so honored and to be a part again of standing oh in this time
the encore i am just i was about to rap jzy i had to pull myself back how
However, I'm so grateful.
I'm so appreciative.
And it's just crazy how serendipitous this is all working out.
And I truly believe that when you follow your passion, when you show up as your real authentic self and shine your light, amazing things just start connecting and working out.
And I feel like I'm really on the cusp of that right now.
And it's such an amazing feeling.
So I don't want to give you so much backstory because I just want to get to the interview because you're going to blip out.
love it. He's such an amazing, extreme guy. Extreme is definitely the best word because when I first
met him, he said to me, I'm so sore. I ran 40 miles yesterday. I about fell over. I don't even under,
he's older than me. I don't even know how this man's knees hold up, but I will tell you,
if you want to be driven or pushed, he is definitely the one to follow on social media and you're
going to get that kick that you need to go to the next level. Surrounding yourself with people that
ahead of you is always such a great idea because it pushes you to realize how much more you can do,
how much farther you can go, and how much harder you need to try if you want to get to that same
level of success. So as always, you know I have some deals for you guys and I really have
an amazing deal right now. So please jump on this. This is not an ad. Hypergrowth. I am getting
an amazing opportunity to interview Sarah Blakely and Jesse Edsler. It is going to be
unbelievable. I'm so excited. And I want to see you in Boston. So September 3rd, you better meet me in
Boston. These tickets are expensive. And for good reason, the lineup is insane. However, I have a code
for you today. And the code is Monahan, all caps. If you want a free ticket, these tickets are going
for $5 and $600. This event will sell out. It always does. You need to use my code,
Monahan to grab free tickets right now, September 3rd in Boston. Hypergrowth is the fastest
growing modern business event on the planet, bringing together the next generation of leaders to
share their strategies for building, selling, and marketing products in a customer-centric world.
Join me there, September 3rd. Use the code Monahan. You're going to get a free ticket. I'm saving you
$500, and you are going to love this event. I cannot wait to see you there. Can you tell them a little
excited. I'm so, so fired up about it. But I'm not going to just give you one deal. You know that I'm
always going to bring you another deal. So I want to give you an amazing deal on the great courses
today too. So, you know, I recommend checking out the outsmart yourself brain-based strategies
for a better you course on the great courses. It's pretty amazing. For example, did you know
doing nothing for 20 minutes has been proven to help beat procrastination? I mean, that's some pretty
powerful information and I'm down with doing nothing for 20 minutes if it's going to fire me back up
and I learned that I'm outsmarting myself. I need to give myself that those 20 minutes to really
reboot to go after what I am holding myself back from achieving. So you know the right answer.
Start learning with the great courses plus today. I've worked out a very special offer for you
a full free month of unlimited access. But you've got to sign up today and use my special URL
to get your free month today.
Sign up at the greatcoursesplus.com slash confidence.
That's the great courses plus.com slash confidence to get this deal.
You're going to get a month for free.
This streaming service is priceless.
It's unbelievable knowledge on any topic.
I mean, really, these are the best of the best.
I mean, exploring everything from the history of the American West to the solar system,
to the most romantic views in Italy, or even learning self-defense.
I mean, you can teach yourself anything with this platform.
The Great Courses Plus, it's got your answers.
So check it out today.
Start your free month today.
Sign up at the Greatcoursesplus.com slash confidence.
You are really going to take your knowledge to the next level.
So I've been talking enough.
And now I am so excited for you to meet my unbelievable guest, Jetsy Itzler.
And if you want to join us, meet us September 3rd in Boston at Hypergrowth.
And if you don't want to pay for a ticket, just type in the code Monaghan.
and we're getting it for you.
All right, let's go.
Hey, Jordan here.
I know a lot of you create your own podcasts,
and a lot of you already have one like me.
I obviously love what I do.
It's taken a lot of hard work to get to this point of success.
You shouldn't have to pay fees for platform hosting,
distribution, analytics,
or fees to create a podcast.
You need to be able to focus on producing the best show possible.
Now, Podcast One, that's a network I'm on,
they have Launchpad Digital Media or Launchpad DM for short.
So it's free, includes unlimited hosting, full control of distribution.
You have access to a full dashboard with analytics.
Again, totally free.
You own everything, by the way.
You own your content.
You own your subscribers.
No tricky stuff there.
And you get your own show page on launchpad DM.com for people to listen to and subscribe
to your show.
It's the only hosting platform brought to you by the leading network, podcast one.
Podcast One will promote the site, drive people to discover your podcast.
And if your show grows, you could even be invited to join Podcast One's All-Star.
which includes people like Adam Carolla, Caitlin, Bristow, Shack, Lady Gang, and of course,
me, Jordan Harbinger, I'm there too.
You also get access to their production and sales support.
So with all this completely free, don't use other hosting platforms.
Why would you need to?
Learn more or sign up now at launchpad DM.com.
And don't forget to check out the Jordan Harbinger show.
Thanks for joining us again.
You are going to flip when you meet this guest.
All right, let me tell you about Jesse Itzler.
He only eats fruit until noon.
go ahead and say that's true. I'm seeing it happen.
Loves run DMC because he's tricky, tricky, tricky, and enjoys living life out of the box.
That's actually an understatement.
He co-founded Markey Jet, the world's largest prepaid private jet card company in 2001,
which he and his partner sold to Berkshire Hathaway.
That was not an easy meeting to get.
He then partnered with Zico Coconut Water, which he then sold to Coca-Cola in 2013.
He is a former rapper.
I mean, I can't even believe this.
This is insane.
He produced insane,
both the NBA's Emmy Award winning
I Love This Game, Music Campaign,
and popular New York Knicks Anthem,
Go New York Go.
What are you doing living in Atlanta?
It slur is also the author of Living with A Seal,
New York Times bestseller,
number one LA Times,
number one Amazon,
that book crushed it,
and living with the monks,
again, another crazy move.
When he's not out training
for his next 100-mile run,
or yesterday, 40 miles,
Jesse can be found at the NBA's Atlanta Hops game, where he is an owner of the team.
He's also married to Spank's founder, Sarah Blakely, and a couple and their children, their four children, live in the ATL.
Jesse, thank you so much.
I love this.
We're face-to-face.
I know.
And we're only face-to-face because your internet wasn't working.
I know.
I love face-to-face.
And I love that you took the initiative to be like, I'm, my internet wasn't working.
You're like, I'm going to come do this live.
Yeah, because, you know, and one thing in researching you, you and I are very,
similar in that way. If an opportunity is present in the moment, it's key to convert because you never
know what's going to happen a couple months later. Right. Well, you took advantage of it,
and here we are. I'm super psyched to do this. Oh, thank you. I'm so excited. So one of the things
that I wanted to, I watched so many of your interviews and read so much of your material,
done your course, you know, build your life resume, that concept, which is your online course.
It's interesting.
I grew up and lived the build your work resume, send out resumes, and I remember hearing that when you were leaving school and you weren't big into school, that wasn't, you know, your jam necessarily.
All your friends were building their work resumes and sending out work resumes, and you weren't.
What were you thinking back at that time?
Well, I mean, I was always a go-getter.
So even when my friends in college were sending out resumes and obviously I had to get a job, I've always, you know, I've always really focused.
always, even when I had no money.
I slept on 18 couches when I was coming up trying to make it in the music business,
et cetera.
I always invested in experiences.
I always felt like that was the best networking opportunity.
It made me more interesting.
It made me feel more alive.
And even at a young age, like if there was an opportunity to go to a conference or to take a trip,
I would figure out a way to make it happen, whether I had a volunteer there, sneak in there,
save money, put it on a credit card.
I just always was really into experiences.
And I just remember, it's funny he said this.
When I was starting out, my dream was I'm going to work mega hard to make enough money
that I could take a two-week vacation.
Like if I can make a two-week vacation, 50 weeks of work will be worth it for the two weeks
that I can go to Hawaii and sit on a beach.
And those goals started to change, and two weeks became four weeks and four weeks became eight
weeks.
But, no, I mean, I've worked really hard in my life to get to where I am.
But I do believe in building your life resume.
We focus on traditional resumes so much, and they're important.
But it's also important not to lose track of, you know, putting on experiences and living and doing what you love to do, especially when you get older.
When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business.
All in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today.
Northwest Registered Agents has been.
helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years.
They are the largest registered agent and LLC service in the U.S.
with over 1,500 corporate guides, real people who know your local laws and can help you
in your business every step of the way.
Build your business identity fast with Northwest Registered agent and get access to thousands
of free resources, forms, and step-by-step guides without even creating an account.
Sign up for a free account to begin managing your business.
business hub with lawyer drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership,
certificates, bills of sale, and more, all at no cost. Northwest is your one-stop business resource.
Learn how to build a professional website, what annual filings your business needs to stay in good
standing, and simple explanations of complicated business laws. With Northwest privacy is automatic.
They never sell your data, and all services are handled in-house. Because privacy by default is their
pledge to all customers. Don't wait.
protect your privacy, build your brand, and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes.
Visit northwest registered agent.com slash confidence free and start building something amazing.
Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www. northwesternigested agent.com slash confidence free.
If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app.
Talkiatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days.
Takayatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations,
diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more.
Unlike therapy-only apps, tachyotry is psychiatry.
That means you're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication
when it's appropriate. All their 600 plus clinicians are in network with major insurers
so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out
of network fees. You'll meet with an experienced licensed psychiatrist who takes the time
to understand what's going on, build a personalized treatment plan, and can prescribe
medication when it's right for you. Your care stays consistent and evidence-based.
head to talkiatry.com slash confidence and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network
psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's talkiatry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes.
Living, yeah, living your passion and finding a purpose-driven life is essential in living your best life,
in my opinion. However, for people who struggle with money and you had situations in your life where you
did not have money, they don't think that's available to them.
What's the advice or direction you give people in those situations?
I mean, most of the things that I've done in my life don't cost a lot of money.
I mean, it's an easy excuse to make, and I'm sensitive to it.
Obviously, and I can afford to take a trip.
But I just, I went camping in this winter with my son, my oldest son, outdoors at Mount Washington.
He slept in the snow, in a sleeping bag, in minus five degree weather.
It costs $18 to park.
Now, of course, you need a sleeping bag, but it wasn't like, you know.
Luxurious.
Right, but it's something that he'll always remember.
We still talk about it.
The experiences that I'm talking about are really more about just getting out of your routine.
Most of us live our life in routine.
So we get super comfortable in our day-to-day stuff, and life goes really fast when you do that.
You hear it all the time, like, oh, my, we're just talking about your son in six years.
It's going to be, and one like this is going to be in college in six years.
When you get outside of your routine, instead of, you know, maybe watching football every Saturday,
once every month or two, all of a sudden you take your,
kids on a picnic, whatever it is.
It just changes the dynamic.
And that's the kind of thing that for me has been like a tremendous gift to my kids, to
myself.
And I've had a really unorthodox business career, a very unconventional journey.
I'm happy to talk about it.
But I think the number one thing that I'm, I always say I'm proud of is just like I've
had amazing life experiences with amazing people and became really bonded through those
experiences. So where does that unconventional approach stem from? Because it truly goes back to the
beginnings with you from what I can see. Yeah. I mean, I started out in the music business when I was in
college. I grew up in New York in the 80s when hip hop and rap was coming on the scene. And when I went
to college, I was really into it. I was like, I'm making a record. Man, I'm making a record no matter what.
And when all my friends were making resumes and sending out resumes, I was going to like open mic night.
I was in the studio, and I didn't have a resume.
I'm like, I'm going to go figure out a way to get a record deal.
And because that's what I wanted to do.
And everyone was telling you no, obviously.
Everybody.
Yeah.
There was no one white rapping.
No, not really.
This is pre-M&M days.
Pre-M&M, pre-vanilla ice.
Oh, my gosh.
Pre-third base.
I mean, I'm sure that everybody was doing it in their own garage or whatever,
but it was super early.
And I just felt like that's what I wanted to do.
do, I can always go back to school. I could always go get a job, but this is happening now.
And I want to be, you know, and there was no B plan, and I got a tremendous amount of rejection.
My dad owned the plumbing supply house and Mniola Long Island. I didn't have any connections.
And, like, the end of the movie was, I'm getting a record deal. And then I had to fill
in the plot. And the script changed a lot. The plot changed, but that end of the movie was
always, like, completely unwavering. And I figured out a way to get.
get myself into a meeting where I kind of took the liberty to say I was somebody else.
I don't know if I would do this at this time.
I got a meeting as a black rapper, a guy named Dana Dane because I knew the owner of the
record company loved Dane and he thought he had a meeting with Dana.
And I gave him while we wait for Dana, can I play my demo?
And he was like, sure.
And I was like, great because we're going to be waiting here forever for Dana.
So I'm glad you said that.
And I played my demo and that led to the two getting signed.
That's after a lot of rejection.
A lot of nose, you know, a lot of two years of just having partners that quit because they couldn't go the whole distance.
Most people can go the same 95% of the journey.
But the last 5% when the shit really gets stinky, most people can't handle that.
And for me, like I wanted it so bad.
It was in my DNA that that last birth 5%.
It was just a phase where I saw everybody get weeded out.
And I was just kept going until I got this meeting.
ultimately got the deal. That's a good way to see it. That's the weed out phase when you start
seeing everyone hit the adversity and some people are just giving up. That's when a lot of people
want to say, I should give up too. This doesn't make sense. Obviously, everyone else is going that
way. But in fact, that's the weed out moment so that you survive. Yeah, I mean, you mentioned this
40 miles I ran yesterday. I was training for an ultramarathon. And, you know, I get energized.
And this is probably not the route for everybody. But there is energy when you see that you're
stronger at a certain point than others.
It does give you like, wow,
this training did work. I do feel good.
Like, it is reinvigorating.
And again, I'm rooting for everybody.
I'm not rooting for anyone not too well at all.
But when people start to drop
because they can't do it, it's like, are you kidding me?
It makes me even more fired up.
Like, I don't want that to be me because when you quit,
it's over. You're done.
You're done.
So that's never been my, it doesn't always work out.
but, you know, I've always really wanted something.
I really, really want something.
And that want is bigger than the obstacles.
I like my chances.
If the obstacles are bigger than how badly I want it,
they're going to defeat me.
So you talk a lot about, you know, having that vision.
Is that about manifesting for you?
Is that about, you know,
when you just see something, you create that vision,
you focus on it?
Is that manifestation for you?
I just go three years out.
Like I always say, like, you know,
I talk about this.
my wife a lot. Just I always go to the future. Like Marquis, I always go to the end right away in my head.
What could this be? Can I do this? What would this look like? What does success look like? That's how I
start the conversation. I don't start with. I'm scared. I don't have experience. I don't know anybody.
I start with what's the opportunity? Do I have a different take on it? Can I be disruptive? And I go to the end.
How big can it be? I already ran the 100 miles when I ran my run.
100 mile race. I had to fill in the blanks. But I already ran it in my head. I already had the
victory party. The documentary was filmed. My parents were congratulating me. We were crying. It was
super visual for me. And then I had to say, okay, now I got to go to work. I got to go to work
to get there. So the power of visualization is a key to your success. It's one of many
strategies that I use to help me. But yeah, I mean, I can give a million examples of it. I just got
involved with a gun company that I'm about to purchase. And I went right to like, what could this
be? I asked myself all the time, why are we different? How are we different? What makes us different?
And what could this be? And if I can check the box on, wow, we're uniquely positioned this
because of this. We're going to be disruptive because we have this. So we're going to stand out.
And this is going to get sold to a major company because of this. And then, you know, whether or not
I have the tools to get there is irrelevant to me.
I don't know anything about the gum space.
I don't anything about music.
I don't think about running.
That's irrelevant to me.
It's like, you know, I'll figure that out.
I'll hire that.
But is the end of the movie clear?
And that's the starting point for everything.
So you bring up the white space, the unique value proposition,
which really for you and your, the way you story,
which is so important in sales and marketing,
it is about the brownie.
and I love that brownie story.
Can you share that story?
Sure.
I was just thinking like,
I think I might have been married to my wife
before I even met her in my head.
You were.
I think I was like fully in a full-blown relationship.
And then I just had to convince her.
No, I mean, I learned it at an early age.
I was in taking an advertising class,
my senior year of college,
and we had to create a fictitious brand from scratch,
billboards and packaging and,
slogans and all that stuff.
So I had a roommate in college that had Aunt Franny,
and she used to send us shipments of brownies every month.
And I don't know what she put in it.
She was a little hippie-ish,
but they made everybody happy.
And I was like, I'm going to market these brownies.
When I get out of college, I don't want to go work for anybody.
I'm going to just, I'll start a brownie company called Aunt Franies brownies.
So in this advertising class for our final way to create this whole campaign,
I'm like, well, let me do the campaign.
If I can learn from the class, I'll use them as my R&D,
department and if they like the campaign, I'll just roll it out after college and that'll be how
I'm going to market this Routy company. And we got in, I got selected to pitch this campaign in front
of the class. And 30 seconds into my presentation, the professor stopped me. My parents paid $160,000
for four years of tuition, like $40,000 a year to go to college or something or today, at least that's what it is
today. I think this is the only lesson that I learned. And the professor stopped me in the middle
my pitch and he said to me, you know, what's your point of differentiation? And I was like,
what does that even mean? He said, how is your brownie different than all the other brownies on
the market? Because if it's not, this doesn't really matter. There's a thousand brownies and
substitute it for a podcaster, author, restaurateur, whatever it is you do. There's a lot of those
that come out every year. Your brownie, whatever your brownie is, has to be very different
than everybody else's.
And from that moment on, as a 21-year-old kid sitting in class, you know, I've always asked myself,
you're like, well, what does make my product different?
How is my book different?
How is, you know, how do I treat my customers differently or retain them differently?
If I have a podcast, how do I follow up with my audience?
How do I make them feel really, you know, emotionally connected to me, et cetera?
And I ask myself a lot of questions around that.
And that's always been, you know,
a driver for me.
Okay, you know that I told you I was out in Atlanta staying with my best friends,
and they had this amazing stationary bike in the house that you're able to work out and not have to
leave the home.
So I'm on her stationary bike working out, and she had these old school earbuds with the one
with the long string that hangs off that literally you wore in 1980s.
I mean, what's up with that?
Every time I would move my arms, I was knocking the ear.
earbuds out of my ears. It was so annoying. I would say it was five times in the one hour I worked
out in our house. I knocked the earbuds out. I mean, that's a major problem. So I've got a major
solution for you. And it's 2019. If you don't know about this yet, if you don't know about
wireless earbuds, we've got an issue. You probably don't have kids either because any child
is rocking wireless earbuds. Anyone who knows what's going on has them already. But you don't
need to go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair. You need to check out the wireless earbuds from
Raycon. Raycon earbuds started about half the price of any other premium wireless earbuds on the
market, and they sound amazing. The company was actually founded by Ray J and other celebrities, Snoop Dog,
Cardi B. They're already all obsessed. Raycon's E50 wireless earbuds have totally changed the game
for me. They're comfortable. You can take them anywhere. Clearly, I'm bringing them to Christina's next time.
I actually should ship her a pair.
And they're not expensive, so I actually can ship her a pair.
All right, Christina, I'm sending you a pair.
You need them for the house.
Unlike some of your other wireless options, Racon earbuds are stylish and discreet and no dangling wires or stems.
But of course, they sound great too.
It's such a great deal.
So I need you to go to buy raycon.com slash confidence to get 15% off your order.
That's buyracon.com slash confidence for 15% off the.
Raycon Wireless earbuds. If you've been eyeing a pair, now is the time to get an amazing deal.
One more time, buy raycon.com slash confidence. Go get your deal now. You will not be sorry.
That takes me to the 15 principles that you share in Build Your Life Resumet Course.
Because a lot of those principles, they're really old school, but they're grinded out work,
like handwritten thank you notes, like your top 25 hot 50. I mean, you, to me,
The biggest takeaway other than extreme risk taking, which I see from you,
is also extreme grind every day showing up and making the most out of every minute of your day.
Yeah, I mean, I try to do the blocking and tackling that everybody has to do, right?
My day starts the night before.
I map out what my day looks like.
You can actually see it on my board right now.
I map out where I am.
So I'm not at a phase.
None of us can afford to just wing it.
you know, like wake up and be like, I don't know, what is today, like too many, there's too much
talent to just wing it. So I try to prepare the night before. And I do all the blocking and
tapling that everybody does that you have to do. I deal with the problems head on. But I think
the one thing that I do is I layer on top of all the obvious stuff, the stuff that like a lot of
people don't do. Let me give you an example. The other day, again, we were just talking,
which probably should have rolled the tape earlier. We were talking about how your son's at Duke
basketball camp.
Coach K,
is the coach at Duke University,
has a basketball camp
for guys 35 and older.
And he's been doing it
for 15 years.
Yeah, I've been going since I'm 35.
I've been going for basically
all 15 years.
And about three months ago,
I landed in Carolina.
And I just said, oh,
Carolina, my head went to Coach
Kay, and I sent him a text.
And I just said this.
I said, coach,
I just wanted to thank you
for having this camp.
You know, for those five days,
it makes me feel like an eight-year-old.
I'm reverse aging.
And I know you don't have to do that, but it really has had an impact in my life.
You don't have to respond.
Thank you.
Now, there's 500, maybe 1,000 people that have gone to that camp.
Nobody texted them for them.
They might send them a thank you note after the camp.
Probably gets 100 of those, 200 of those.
No one's texting them four or five months before the camp.
Three things can happen.
One, he might share that with his wife.
Got this really cool text.
And it was more emotional than I'm saying.
I'm giving you the spirit of it.
He might share it with his staff.
But three, it's definitely going to stand out because it's like so out of the, out of the thin air.
When I go to camp in a month and there's 500 or 1,000 campers or whatever, who's going to get the first hug?
Who, I now have permission to go up to Coach K if I see him in a restaurant, but that coach, I sent you a text.
I don't know if you got it.
I have permission because I'm not, I don't want anything.
It was like an authentic thing.
Now, that text took me 45 seconds.
If I invested three minutes a day, three minutes a day to send three of those to a supplier, to a customer, that's a thousand, more than a thousand text that I'll send in a year for three minutes a day.
That three minute investment will hit 1,000 people in a year.
Now, if you do that with the blocking and tackling, with a handwritten letter, with all the other stuff that I do, I'm talking about the 15 things that I do, and I do pretty much all of them, your chance is,
go up a lot greater than someone who's just cold calling or going, you know, whatever they're doing.
I do everything.
I do everything every day.
It sounds exhausting, though.
So how do you not get burnt out?
It's not exhausting because it's like I also say note it a lot of stuff.
I focus on the things that move the needle in the most important buckets of my life, like my
customers, influencers.
Part of being an entrepreneur is figuring out I had to get from A to B to the needle.
the fastest. Coach K is a guy that can move the needle and get me from A to B to the fastest
on certain things. If I have a chewing gum and, you know, he tweets it or likes it, that's
going to reach a lot more people to follow him than me. So I focus on the right things. And I say
to know to things that like are time killers. And, you know, I get a lot of requests for my
time and I do, of course, say yes to things. But 15 minutes of, because they've seen.
someone wants to pick my brain, you know, four times a week is an hour a week.
You know, that's like, that's like, it adds up.
So I really focus on the, it's exhausting if you don't do it right.
If you're organized and you do the important things, I've been taking three hours a day
for myself, some 21 years old and every day, religiously.
And that's cumulative.
It could be an hour run in the morning, 15 minutes sitting, I'm getting a massage,
whatever it is.
But I don't have any guilt that I'm not with my wife or my kids are working when I take that time because it makes me better at work.
It makes me better with my wife.
It makes me better, more present with my kids, like it makes me be where my feet are because I'm checking the box of the things that are important to me.
And when you do that, the other shit's not exhausting because you've already taken the most important stuff.
You've already put yourself first.
And that's like an unwavering characteristic about me.
There's nothing to do with money.
is nothing. I did it when I was sleeping on couches.
How did you know to do that back then?
It made me feel good. It made me, I would go into work and I'd be like, I look at people like,
oh, I didn't do this commute, and I got stuck, and they're like, I wish I could have
today, but I didn't have the time. And I was like, people were miserable. And I was like,
I had nothing. I had $118 in my bank account. And I was loving light. I was going to concerts
that were free at Irving Plaza. I was running marathons that cost $65 to register for.
I was fishing on the East River, you know, with a fishing, like I was doing shit that billionaires were doing.
And I had $118.
And now I'm doing it.
I'm just doing it bigger.
You know, like, I don't have to sneak into this.
I have my own swimming pool.
But I'm still swimming.
I was swimming back then.
I was going under a fence.
But I was still doing it.
That's amazing.
It took me until my 40s to realize putting yourself first is not something to feel guilty for.
So kudos for you getting that early on.
If you can free up, let's say I'm 50, let's say I live to 80.
If I freed up three hours a day every day, right, I would basically get four and a half bonus years of time.
And that's 24 hour a day bonus years.
If you took out sleep eight hours a day, it's like six hours, six years of life.
I have bonus years.
I'm just like I've figured out.
I've invested a lot of time and resources to figure out how to optimize my life.
you know and I and I really I don't have it all figured out but you know I I do prioritize
myself my family the things I like to do and I still work really hard and it works you
you work very very hard clearly I have been able to get a glimpse of that and that hard
nothing beats hard work at the end of the day wouldn't you agree with that?
Smart work I think beats hard work being more efficient sure for sure but you just still have to
show up and do all, you know, it's the grind.
When I've looked and researched so much.
Can I interrupt for a second?
Yeah, sure.
I found that I'm not the smartest guy for sure ever in the room, but I've realized that
I could be one of the most interesting in the room.
So through these experiences, taking my son camping, I can win, I can control the tone of
a meeting in the first 10 seconds without anybody even known.
If I walked into a meeting with somebody and I saw he had all these.
rock, you know, I don't know,
it's kind of a lot of adventures or as a runner, whatever.
A lot of times in the offices, my office,
included, you're here now, you get an idea
of what people are about. And if I,
I'll just use adventure, but I could
use business school or anything.
Actually, I'll keep it neutral.
If I walked in and I said, oh my gosh,
I'm so glad my parents are elderly
and they're staying at my house. And just last night, I was
getting my dad ready and taking his pajamas off
and whatever. It's just excited. I'm excited
to be here because it's just a breath of,
whatever. I've already said to them,
loyal. I'm a family man. My priorities are right. The meeting hasn't even started, and they've
already realized, like, they can trust me. I'm loyal. I have my priorities right. So, like,
working hard is important, but working smart and, you know, and experiences. If I said, I just,
use the example, I just took my kids. We got back from Mount Washington. My son was outside in the
snow and just feels good to be in a warm office. I've already said so much. I've connected with
that person, if that's something that they're aligned with. Through my experience,
experiences. Now, he's interested in me.
Selling whatever I'm selling is gravy because we've already connected.
And that's always how I've operated.
You were a rapper. You talk about that in the beginning.
We can talk about that. It's going to be compelling.
You ran 100 miles. We can talk about that.
You take care of you. We can talk about all those things.
And it's like there's a high chance you're going to want to talk to me at the lunch table
or do a deal with me as opposed to someone that like, I went to business school.
Right.
I learned a lot there.
And then I was an accountant.
And like that's important.
But sometimes the other stuff is more important.
Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered with lux essentials that
feel effortless and look polished.
They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts.
Their versatile styles make it easy to reach for them day after day.
Quince has all the staples covered from soft Mongolian.
cashmere sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the markup to 100% silk tops and skirts
for easy dressing up to perfectly cut denim for everyday wear. Their wardrobe essentials are crafted
to last season after season. Their Italian wool coats are real standouts. They're beautifully
tailored, soft to the touch and built to carry you through years of wear, not just one season.
The quality shows in every detail, the stitching, the fit, the fabrics. Every piece is thoughtfully
designed to be your new wardrobe essential. And like everything from Quince, each piece is made
from premium materials and ethical trusted factories that are priced far below what other
luxury brands charge. I can't tell you how much I am loving my new cashmere sweater. It's a
staple for sure and I can't wait to give one to my best friend for her birthday this year. It is
timeless, gorgeous and the softest thing I've ever touched. Which Quince pieces are you interested in it? I mean,
from the bags to the denim to the sweaters to the jackets.
They're all incredible luxury high-end products without the high-end price.
Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com
slash confidence for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping
and 365-day returns.
Quince.com.
slash confidence.
Well, that's about connection, what you just described, through being authentic and through
being yourself, when you're your real self and you show up, like you said, you pay attention,
but you share your story in a real way with someone, that draws people into you.
A lot of people don't want to be vulnerable.
The guy that's instead saying, hang on, let me tell you my work resume right now.
I went to this school and here was my GPA.
That person's not going to connect at the same level.
No, there were a lot of months where I was the lead salesman at Markey Jet, and I was probably
the least about the airplanes.
And the reason was is I would go in, and if I saw a guy at a running watch on, I'd talk
about running.
And we would just talk, and we would get comfortable, and we'd have conversation.
And, like, you know, I always say this, you're the business plan.
You are the business plan.
So if you got comfortable with me, then I could be like, look, if you want to fly on a private jet,
I have this amazing company, I'm the co-founder.
I love to talk about it.
You know, call me.
No pressure.
That was my sales tactic.
And like, it worked.
And it wouldn't work for everybody, but it worked for me.
And so going back to what we talked about at the beginning of our conversation, your life resume, it's important.
And, you know, I just turned 50.
The average American lives to be 78.
So if I'm average, I have 27 summers left.
I hope I'm not.
I hope I have way more than that.
But like when you start to think reverse engineer what you have left, reverse engineer like, okay, your son, hopefully.
he lives to be 120 and he's got
108 more years
but you only have six years left
in the house like you only have 300 weekends
left with him in the house
he's going to be away some of those weekends and you'll be away some of those
weekends when you start to like really think about
things instead of like
we're going to live forever
you get urgency it changes
you in like I don't want to be 80 and look back and be like
I didn't take that trip I didn't run that
race I didn't go to that CEO because
of you know I was
scared or I don't have that kind of regret
So I really, really, really prioritize that in my life.
And I've been doing it since the young age.
So do you think your kids are seeing this with you and live it?
Like, how are they different growing up the way you grew up versus the way they're growing up?
How can you project their future?
Or do you think about that?
Well, I have a couple of strategies that they're the beneficiary of.
So one of them is, is I take one-on-one trips with my kids.
You know, my parents are amazing.
but they didn't have the luxury of doing that.
I take family trips.
I mean, and what I do is I schedule that before the year starts.
I have a big calendar, I'll show it to you, and I reverse engineer the year.
Instead of being like looking at the year and being like, you know, what are we going to do here?
What does the summer look like?
I'm like, here's 10 things that I'm doing this year to make it a 10 out of 10 year, a rock star year.
I'm running this race.
I'm taking my kids to this ski resort.
up to this mountain. We're going to go fishing. And I schedule it. So they're the beneficiaries
of those kind of experiences. And our parenting style is to emphasize effort, not the results.
It's effort. And to allow our kids to experience disappointment. That's how we parent or try to.
And the trips and the experiences, they're encouraged to do it because they see me doing it.
They see me doing it all the time. Every eight weeks in my calendar, I take it.
I do something.
I do some kind of trip,
some experiential thing.
And they're around that energy.
So I hope it rubs off on them.
I was just at a,
is my ADD kicking in?
No.
Let me know.
Tap me on the shoulder
if my ADD is getting in.
I was just at a meeting
with the financial planner.
We were talking about being a different brownie.
50 financial planners
have pitched me over the last five years.
And basically they come in
with the same deck
with a different corporate logo.
Hey, I'm from this bank.
I'm from this.
And they go through the same kind of spiel
about life planning or insurance and this and that.
I'm craving someone to walk in
and give me a different perspective on this.
You're like, listen, on top of this,
I have a nutritionist and I have a bit,
just give me like a different thing to chew on.
Anyway, someone came in
and he opened the conference, the meeting,
and he said, look, if you could leave your kids
with a lot of money or a lot of life experiences,
and you had to choose one,
what would you choose?
And of course you choose life.
experiences so they know how to you know handle sure so that that that that's sort of what my
kids are experiencing so you know one of those stories that I think is so
interesting and to me describes your creativity which I on the outside your
creativity is a big part of your success would you agree with that yes your creative
approach to different things one of the stories I really like that I heard was how
you got your wife to go on a date with you yeah can you share that story yeah
I mean, Sarah, my wife, was a customer of ours at Marquisette.
We met at a customer appreciation poker tournament.
We were only allowed to, each rep was allowed to invite one person from their territory.
So the Georgia rep sent a picture of Sarah.
I'm like, she can come.
Don't send any more applicants.
Let her come in.
And we were friendly.
We became friendly, but you talk about the sauna?
No, I was talking about when you called the assistants.
and he would run the race.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So, I mean, there's, again, like, the movie was already baked in my head.
Right.
You knew it was happening.
Plot things had to happen for me to, you know, outkick my coverage.
But I was running this 100-mile run, and I was sort of friendly with Sarah at the time, but not in a big way.
And I just called up her assistant.
I was like, look, Lisa, I'm Jesse Gittsler, Marquis, Sarah, this and that.
So I'm running this 100-mile run, and I'll run the whole race in Spanx.
like women's on the wear for a testimonial for my website from Sarah.
And she's like, why?
And she put me on hold.
She's like, Sarah, this nut job is on the phone saying he's going to run 100 miles for like
a testimonial or maybe a donation from from Sarah.
I was like, I think I know this guy.
And a year later we were married.
Oh, I love that.
But it's just that that, quote, unquote, sinking out of the box that so many people
struggle with.
Do you intentionally find yourself saying, okay, how am I going to come?
the creative approach to this? Is there a plan or strategy you have to do that or it just happens
naturally for you? I think I'm not, I'm really not scared to be bold, you know, and my brain is
wired of like, how do I get like this done? It's not wired. You know, this is how everybody else does
it. It's just, I remember when I was a kid, we went to the U.S. Open. I grew up in New York
in the summer and we would go in no tickets. We'd take the train to Shea, we walked to the U.S.
Open. And I was with my friend, like, we got to figure out a way to sneak in.
So we can get into the U.S. Oaks?
Like, we can't get in.
We don't have a ticket.
I'm like, of course we can get in.
We just have to figure out how to sneak in.
Like, we don't need a ticket.
And we figured it out.
If we held on to the wire when the camera guys walked through the CBS truck into the thing,
they would think we were interning and just walk right in.
So we walk in and with my friend Todd Named.
He was like, this is unbelievable.
Let's go watch the matches.
I was like, watch the matches.
I'm going to go back out and figure out how I can sneak in again.
Like, I don't want to watch the matches.
I want to figure out how I can keep sneaking in.
It was the challenge.
Right.
So that's just always been like what I'm into.
Embracing the challenge.
Embracing the challenge, not going through the front door,
dancing to a different drum, differentiating yourself, being a different brownie.
You know, you mentioned like handwritten letters.
That's not, and you're like, that's old school.
But it's really new school because nobody gets handwritten letters anymore.
So think about as a kid how excited you are when you get a letter.
you read all your mail
you don't read all your emails
you know that's so true
you don't read all your DMs
but you read all your mail
you talked about um I forgot what you said
about a car you were saying something
I don't remember what you're saying but like
you know old
if you drive an old car
there's a bazillion cars you're going to see
on the highway today but if you see an old
pot car you're like whoa what's that you know
or a yellow car you're like wow
so um
I don't
do it just for the purpose of doing it.
It's just, I recognize that different works, man, different and true to yourself works.
True to yourself is so critical.
Yeah.
So many people haven't learned to listen to themselves.
Do you meditate?
Do you journal?
How do you tap into that inner voice?
I don't know.
I just remember telling people at Marquis, like, I would go to sales meetings at Markey chat
company we had, and I would listen to people pitch and I'm like, you sound like me and
Kenny, my partner.
I'm like, you're a single mom.
I co-founded this company.
Use that to your advantage.
If you're quirky, be quirky.
If you're shy, tell people.
But don't try to, like, do my speech.
I want to do your speech.
You know, you have to be your own version
and then figure out within those parameters.
People, like, it's relatable.
I just got a DM from somebody that's like,
listen, I'm really introverted and this is uncomfortable for me.
And I relate to that.
I was like, wow, it's super honest, really vulnerable.
and nobody else sent me something like that.
Everyone's like, hey, I'm getting out of my comfort zone.
I want to, you know, so you just have to be that, find that common, you know, that ground.
That's, it reminds me of my son was doing a speech.
And the last minute, the school told him he had to change the speech,
that his speech was too racier or whatever the word is they use.
So with 24 hours before his performance, he had to take a very bland approach.
And he was essentially reading it in a monotone.
because, you know, just affecting him mentally, and you could see it on his body and everything.
His quirkiness was gone.
So I found out there was a speech teacher because, you know, they don't want to, kids don't want to listen to you in that moment, right?
Because he's, no, mom, you don't understand.
I can't make this fun.
And so I took him to a speech teacher and she said exactly that.
And it was so powerful for him to hear.
Lean into that quirkiness.
She'd let him do a speech talking about whatever he wanted.
And he was tilting his head and doing this big smile.
And he was animated.
And when he read the one he had to, he was reading it forced and monotone.
And she was able to highlight and show them when you start stepping into your quirkiness, the little funny things that are unique to you, everyone feels connected to you.
It's so powerful.
Oh my gosh.
I love thinking about how important being ourselves is for all of us.
One of the questions that I like to ask everyone that's on my show is when have you struggled in your life with your confidence the most?
I mean, I obviously struggle with it a lot.
Still, you do?
Come on.
I do.
That's hard.
You have a very strong presence.
That's hard to believe.
In certain buckets I do.
I mean, I've gotten comfortable having a lot of egg on my face.
I've had a lot of egg on my face, a lot of failures,
highly embarrassing stuff I have.
And when I was younger.
I was just saying that's not the stuff that comes up today, my friend.
Early on, I've had businesses that have failed.
I've raised money, and that's really hard to tell people that it didn't work.
You know, I've had projects, music projects that didn't work, you know,
songs that fly, everything.
But I think, so what was the question?
Confidence?
When in your life, when you look back, has your confidence been the lowest?
Or when have you struggled the most with it?
I mean, I just remember when I started out in the music business,
I was in an airport coming in Pittsburgh.
I landed in Pittsburgh for a show.
And I was on the cover of a magazine called Rap Pages.
And I was like, oh my God.
I'm like, I'm on the cover of a magazine.
This is, like, I got to call my mother immediately.
I mean, grab it.
I was super excited
and the headline arc
was, are white rappers
ruining hip hop?
Oh, no.
It was me.
And I was like,
I'm like, please tell me
this is the only in Pittsburgh
and it's like a national magazine.
And I thought everywhere that I went,
people would be like,
this is the guy that's ruining hip hop.
We always think everyone noticed it.
No one noticed it.
People noticed.
I mean, so that was,
took me to a low.
I got dropped from my record company.
I moved back to New York with no money.
I was a kiddie pool.
I mean, just everything.
I've had, I struggled with it.
And I've always looked for small wins to get a little momentum to perk up my confidence.
I take inventory of things that I've done.
You know, like I'm about to run this big long ultra marathon and I'm struggling with like,
I'm not the same person I was when I was 38.
Sure.
I have luxuries now.
I have an easier life now.
I'm not as mentally like, I don't think where I was back then when I was really hungry,
like ridiculously hungry.
And I did a 40-mile run yesterday training, and I was like, I'm just not where I was 12 years ago.
And, you know, I don't want to embarrass myself, run this race, put myself out there.
And, like, people like, what?
You're supposed to be this, like, you did all this stuff and you only did, like, 20 miles, you know?
And so, you know, there's that fear around how people are going to react.
And that's a confidence thing.
You know, like that, it starts to really attack your confidence.
So I deal with it all the time
And the way that I handle it
Is
Fucker, you're not even in the race
You gotta be in the ring
If you want to be in the ring if you want to even
There's 7 billion people
There's 200 people signed up for this race
And do I'm like I don't care
It's like I've already gained so much
In my discipline in the training
The friendships through my friend Mark and I
That we've gone through in the training at night
And the rain
I've already, it's already been a tremendous
tremendous win for me. So I start to take inventory of those kind of things. And then I'm like,
you know, so that's one thing. And then I'm like, I'm going to do the best I can do. And lower
expectations. I'm not, I'm not, and I'm not negotiating like my goal. I'm just, I've just been like,
just be the, do the best you can do. Like, you have four kids now. You have a job. You have a wife.
You have parents that are getting older. You can't invest eight hours a day to train. And that's okay.
And like just so be the best version of the 50 year old dad of four that you can be in this race.
Right.
And if I do great, great.
But I'm not going to like, I'm not going to quit.
I'm not going to like, but if it's embarrassing, it is what it is.
And like I can live with that.
So what does the vision of your future look like now?
And is there a specific goal?
Is there a specific amount of wealth you want to achieve?
Is there a number that you chase after?
What does that vision look like now?
I mean, it's definitely not money.
driven and it never has been never i mean i enjoy money i like what money allows me to do
especially with my friends and family never i mean i have the same cloak my same wardrobe
i have i have used my money to help me build an amazing portfolio of experiences yes i have a bigger
house less worry as far as paying the bills but i don't have pacos and that i've invested in my time
goes to experiences.
If you looked at my last year, the trips I've taken, the mountains I've climbed, the paddleboards,
the rivers I've crossed, that's what I like to do.
But the next 20 to 30 years is just about putting more on my plate of the things I love to do
with with the people I love to do them with.
And I have a course called Build Your Life resume that I'm really passionate about because
it's helping people.
I give specific strategies towards business, living life hats.
etc. That's really important to me. And then legacy becomes important to me. Like, I don't want to
leave this planet. If I took all the energy I've invested since I'm 19 years old, towards building
businesses, making money, getting into rooms, convincing people to do deals. And I channeled all
that into something cause related. I mean, I think the impact would be valuable. And so that's
something that's, I don't know what exactly that cause is yet or causes, but that's something
as I get older is really important to me. Jesse, you are so interesting and your energy is
powerful and it's so great to be around you. How can, I know my listeners are going to want to
get a hold of you. How can they find you? Well, thank you. I'm on my website's just jessieitzler.com.
That's where the B.YLR courses. And I'm on Instagram at Jesse Yitzler and all Twitter, Facebook,
all under my name. So thank you. And I.
Build Your Life Resum is such an amazing course.
I did it.
It's really powerful.
And you do live calls.
Yeah.
I mean, that's a really unique advantage to this program.
So please, if you haven't checked Jesse out yet, please check them out and check out the
course.
And thank you so much for being here with me.
Thank you for coming here.
That's a different Browning.
That is.
We could have Skype, but now we are connected through this experience.
I love it.
Yeah.
You got to go to the distance when you have the opportunity to jump on it because you never know
it's going to happen tomorrow.
Now I need a 45-second investment on a text.
from you and a handwritten letter.
Done and done.
Done.
All right, thanks.
We'll be right back.
I hope you loved meeting Jesse.
And I hope you're going to join me September 3rd at Hypergrowth Boston.
Don't forget, use my code Monaghan.
If you want a free ticket, that's a $500 ticket.
Holy cow, jump on that.
You know it's selling out.
I don't even know how many codes I'm able to give out.
So just grab it now while you can.
If you're looking for other free things,
Pluto TV is the leading free streaming television service. Watch over 100 TV channels and
thousands of movies on demand completely for free. Pluto TV never even asked for a credit card.
You don't need to sign up. You just watch for free. Pluto TV is easy and completely legal way
to watch your favorite TV shows and hit movies for free. What are you waiting for? Never pay for
TV again by downloading Pluto TV. You can download Pluto TV for free on all of your favorite devices
today, including your phone, Roku, Amazon Fire TV, Apple TV, Smart TV, PlayStation, and
anywhere else, you stream.
Oh my gosh, that's a lot of TV.
So since I talked so much at the beginning of this show, I'm going to try to keep this
tight for you so that you can get back to your life today.
So thanks for hanging with me.
One of the questions that I had sent to me this week came from a friend that said,
Heather, when you feel overwhelmed, what is it that you do?
do you start putting more pressure on yourself? What steps do you take? I'm having a really tough day.
This is a friend of mine. And here's what I responded. Number one, I put down my phone. I step away from the phone.
I've learned that when I'm on my phone too much, checking social media, you know, reading media, whatever I'm doing, I start getting antsy.
Another thing that I do is so I step away from the phone is always helpful. I just go put it on the charger, whatever, peace out.
And then another thing that I do is meditate if I can.
Now, I work from home sometimes, and if my son's home, there's zero chance that I am meditating because that's just not going to work out.
So if that's not an option, another thing I love to do is to work out.
I have a gym in my building so I can always run down to the gym even just for 20 minutes and run on the treadmill or do the elliptical and listen to a podcast like mine.
and, you know, just getting, stepping out of that negative space or stressed out space and moving my body always helps.
Getting outside always helps. I live in beautiful Miami. And while it's pretty hot right now in the summer, it still is amazing.
And I feel really grateful when I'm outside. Stepping into gratitude is always an answer to calm myself down.
Looking at how far I've come is another thing that I like to do. And I keep actually a journal on this of the things that I've accomplished.
I also keep on my phone, I recommend everyone do this.
You know, if you keep by year the things that you did, it blows you away when you see
all of the change and accomplishments.
And yeah, challenges and solutions and how you overcame things.
So I go to these different albums on my phone.
I also keep positive feedback that I get from people that's meaningful and special to me.
It was so cool.
I got a note actually yesterday from my old boss and mentor.
Jeff sent me a screenshot. His father listened to this show Creating Confidence and sent him a note and said,
hey, I don't know how I found creating confidence with Heather, but I remember she used to work for
you. And I just want to say her show is great. And she's a really smart, powerful woman. And it was
just, it meant the world to me because this is someone who I looked up to. This is his father who he
adores and looks up to. And it was just, it was so meaningful and so sweet that he sent me that
feedback. So that went right into my fam love. I call it my fam love album. And whenever I'm feeling
down overwhelmed, I read through those notes and it really picks me up. So the next time someone
sends you a nice note or, you know, you have a grateful thought, jot it down, put it in a file
or a folder like that so you can access it quickly. And it's, it definitely works for a good pick me up.
So again, I hope you join me September 3rd, Hypergrowth Boston. If you want a free ticket,
type in the code Monahan, all caps.
I don't know how many free tickets there are going to be.
So please jump on it right now.
If you can join me, I would love to see you there.
And until next week, I can't wait to see you creating your confidence.
Love to hear your questions.
Love to hear feedback.
If you haven't, please subscribe, rate and review the show.
It helps so much.
And please share with your friends.
Until next time, keep creating your confidence.
