Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #148: Step Into The Unknown & Conquer Fear with Heather!

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

It’s been almost two years since I've started working on my book, Overcome Your Villains and it really got me thinking...anytime you create something there will be somebody who criticizes you. This is because it is simply easier to criticize than it is to create. You are taking a risk and a chance each time you produce an original idea and it’s important to believe in your work! I got a DM inviting me to an event that reminded me, there will always be positive and negative things happening and it’s the unknown that keeps us excited and motivated daily. It doesn’t come natural to me now, but I’m working on being OK with things feeling out of control or uncertain at times. Step into the fear and embrace the unknown!   Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!    To pre-order Overcome Your Villains NOW and get the bonus bundle click here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're here with me today. Okay, some exciting things going on that I want to share with you. First of all, this is so crazy.

It's been, oh my gosh, it's been almost two years now I've been working on from the book proposal to the book, to the edits, to everything with Overcome Your Villains. Crazy enough, today was the first day that my publisher mailed me a paperback version of my new book. And it was, it's so weird because even though it feels like it's so long, the process is so long and painful, right? And it does take a lot of time and you have to be patient and I'm not patient. I don't know about you. Patience is not my virtue. And seeing it today was so exciting. But then it's interesting because anytime you create something, people will come and criticize, right? It's always

easier to criticize than it is to create because creating things takes a lot of work and a lot of time and a lot of risk, right? Because you're doing something you've never done before. You know, this book is not like anything I've ever done for. It's not like my first book. I mean, there's some similarities, but it's not the same, right? You're doing something new, something different. And anytime you do something new and create, you're taking a risk and a chance. And so suddenly, for me, all those feelings come up again of, oh my gosh, it's so scary to launch a book. Oh my gosh, it's so scary, you know, to step into something new. What are people going to think? Right. All these negative possibilities rush into your head and, you know, good positive ones too, right?

I think the book looks amazing. And when I held it, I feel so emotional because it represents so much to me and I'm so proud of it. So there's all these great and scary positive and negatives going through my head. And it's, you know, it can be overwhelming. But I am super excited. I'm super proud of it. And it looks amazing. So one of a friend of mine who has a pretty big podcast, I'd asked her if I could be on her show.

And she said, hey, send me a copy of the book. And so what my publisher does is they send people that have big shows a digital copy of my book so they can read it, but they don't want to send out, you know, the actual paper or hardcover yet because the actual final version isn't done yet. And so she said, listen, I can't read digital. It just doesn't work for me. I have to have a paper version. So her show is big enough that when I told Harper Collins leadership that, they said, okay, we'll get her an advanced paperback copy. And they sent it to her too this week. And she just got it.

And she sent me a note and said, holy cow, Heather, this book is fire. The cover is fire. I love it. And it made me feel so excited because, first of all, you don't know sometimes if anyone's even going to respond or say anything. You know, people are busy and there's so much going on in the world. But it does mean so much when people take a minute to give you feedback and encouragement. And this woman has a super successful book.

So it meant a lot to me that, you know, she often. that feedback. And if you have something nice to say to someone in your life or someone you work with, extend it, right? Give it to them. Give them that gift because you never know what stress someone has going on in their life or what they're dealing with, you know, in their personal life or professional life that it could really help out. And for me, you know, in this moment where I'm starting to get nervous about the new book coming out and, of course, doubting some things, it just meant a lot to have her encouragement and sort of somewhat validation, right, that I really liked it and thought it looked great, but you never know what the rest of the world is going to think,

right? You just never know. So I'm all about, yeah, you know, stepping into fear, taking the risk and going for it. But as I'm about to go to this next level and take this new risk on, I'm remembering how scary it is. And let me tell you, it is not for the faint of heart. Okay, so that was exciting that that happened this week. I was super excited about that. But of course, like in any week, you know, there are positive things that happen, negative things that happen, challenges that come up that are unexpected, as well as positive things that are unexpected. And I wanted to give you the analogy, I go to spin all the time. And imagine if you were to go to your spin class and it was the exact same playlist, an exact same routine, every single time. went. How long would you keep going? Right? If everything was predictable about it and scheduled ahead of time and you knew exactly what it was, it wouldn't be that much fun. And I started thinking about that to myself in spin. I definitely get my best ideas when I'm working out. And I was thinking, it's kind of ironic that what I love most about going to spin is that I don't know what the

playlist is going to be like. I don't know what the instructor is going to do next. I don't have any control over it so it's really out of my control and it seems super exciting. And of course, there are amazing classes where, you know, your favorite playlist and everything went unbelievable. And then some days you're like, oh, you know, that was an okay class or whatever. But I still like that I don't know what to anticipate. Okay, pause there for a minute, grasping that. I would imagine you agree with me. You feel the same way, right? You wouldn't go to the same workout if it was just mundane and the same exact thing over and over again. However, in our lives, definitely of my life, I'll find myself and I was doing it this week. You know, I just wish I knew what was coming next. I just wish I knew.

And part of this comes from, I think I shared this with you last week, that for me, in 2020, I remember saying, okay, this is temporary, you know, live events are going to be back. I'm sure by Q4 2021, all the live events will be back. Business will be booming. Just like the roaring 20s, you know, I had created this false idea of what I wanted to happen, apparently, that did not happen. And, you know, little did I know that there would be the Delta variant and all, whatever else happening. So I had shared that, you know, almost all of my in-person speaking engagements were canceled, and I was so disappointed. And it really felt out of control, right? That, wait a minute, everything's spinning out of control.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. I didn't think it would be this way. I didn't plan on it being this way. And I was having to remind myself that I love spin class because I don't know what to plan for. I don't know what to expect. And it's exciting that it's unknown and great that it's unknown. And I have to try and challenge myself to see life and business that same way. And it's definitely doesn't come natural to me right now, right?

And it's sort of interesting because when I was in corporate America, I always thought it was everything. was so clear and laid out in front of me, and I knew what to expect, and I knew the process, and I knew the timelines, and I knew who to call. And then when I went out on my own after I got fired, it's been confusing and unknown and stepping into fear and darkness and not knowing what's going to happen next. And it definitely feels at times like everything's out of control, which can seem super overwhelming. I'm sure you can identify with that a little bit somehow in your life that things feel out of control or uncertain, and that can feel. really uncomfortable. So to that end, this is what I wanted to share with you, is that, and I was

reminded about this two weeks ago. So, okay, let me take a step back. A couple of weeks ago, I was tagged in a post on LinkedIn. And the post was so good. It was basically the same post that I put up the day after I got fired, right? Which was, after 14 years, I have just been fired. If I've ever helped you in any sort of way, I'd love to hear from you today. This really hurt, or this is really hard, something like that. And that post went viral. And at a lot of my keynote speeches, I share that whole story for a few different reasons. There's things that I think are important to learn from that. One, step into shame. When you shine a light on shame, it dissipates and disappears. And then you claim the shame, right? So people might tell you that getting fired is not a good look. I decided to make it

rock my look. Oh, yeah. Oprah's been fired. J.K. Rowling's been fired. Steve Jobs has been fired. I'm in good company, right? Reframed. So that's all about the reframe and stepping into shame and claiming your shame and not letting it claim you, which I believe is really powerful. And then, of course, asking for help when you put a post up like that, you're making yourself vulnerable and letting people know you need assistance, right? You don't have all the answers. And if anyone out there has some or would like to, you know, help you in some way, you'd really appreciate it. So I believe that strong people ask for help. I incorporate that in some of my keynotes, not all, but it's a lot. But some of them. Well, wouldn't you know, a woman that attended a virtual keynote I did for the ASA

this past year ends up getting fired. And after thinking about it for a couple of weeks and having nothing going on, crickets, she did not know what she was going to do. No one was reaching out to her with options, right, because nobody knew she was struggling. She finally decided, I remember this keynote, this woman Heather Monaghan gave and how that post changed her life. I've got to do something to change mine because she wasn't hearing from anyone. She didn't know what to do. So she put the post up. And so that post for her did really, really well. She tagged me in the post. So I was able to comment on it. And I also supported her and told her in a DM, hey, I'm going to add you to my Friday. I have a team meeting every Friday. I'm going to add you to that group because it's going to support you and help you. Also, I'm going to send you a bunch of different things,

basically, you know, an outline or game plan how to get through being terminated and how to bounce back quick. And so I sent her all the stuff and wanted to support her and help her. But the funny thing was, she messaged me and said, Heather, you're not going to believe it. That post has opened up countless opportunities. I have job offers now. She said, I have so many things going on right now that in 24 hours my entire life has changed and my perspective has changed. I feel excited and happy where 24 hours ago I was really feeling depressed.

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Make a long story longer. I'm sharing this because I want you to be hopeful that no matter where things are today for you, there is unknown ahead of you, which is really exciting. And I'm constantly reminding myself of this. Okay, so here's what happened to me this week that I had no idea was going to happen. So I'm always creating a ton of content on LinkedIn. And the majority of my speaking business opportunities come directly through LinkedIn or to my website. And sometimes I get so many DMs and messages. I don't stay on top of them all. There's so many can be overwhelming. However, I challenge myself in my free time to go back and try to make sure I didn't miss anything important, of course, right? Because, listen, we can all

miss things and not respond to an email or a DM and miss an opportunity, which we don't want to do. So it was one night I was going back through my messages and I see some guy from lunch. had sent me a message saying, hey, would love to speak to you about the largest CEO event of the year. We'd love to have you as one of our keynote speakers. And so, again, I never know on social media. I'm sure you're the same. What's what? Like, who's real?

Who's not? What's a valid opportunity? But I always, you know, try to respond and dig a little deeper. So I respond and I said, yeah, send me the link to the event so I can check it out first to make sure this is worthwhile. Oh, it was. hello, this thing is unbelievable, right? And so I was kind of shaking, thinking, oh my gosh, this is amazing. This will be, without a doubt, the biggest event for me of the year. This is a huge

opportunity because it's happening right when my new book is coming out, right? So there's so many dominoes that can fall from this, right? There's so many businesses that are going to be in the crowd that could then hire me. There's so many businesses that could then go order my book for all their employees. There's so much opportunity there. So I immediately, when I, Once I understand the magnitude of the opportunity, I reply back, I would love to jump on a Zoom. I would love to learn more. I'm definitely interested in having this conversation. So this person sets up a Zoom for me on Labor Day with the president of the event. And so I go to this Zoom meeting. It goes great.

You know, he had a bunch of questions and around, you know, different topics I can cover and talking about the existing lineup, up talking about the audience and his goals. And in the end, he offers me, you know, the keynote. And I'm sitting there the whole time thinking to myself, okay, this is obviously a virtual event, right? And I've been complaining ad nauseum that I'm so sick of virtual events. I mean, I'm grateful that we have something when we can't have in person, of course, so I don't mean to diminish that. However, I do love being with people and I love in person, right? So I've been kind of saying, oh, gosh, I can't wait to the day that we're back in person. And then here I am, just assuming, of course,

because all of my events primarily have been Zoom other than two in-person events in Florida. So I'm waiting, and he says, yes, and this is, you know, in person in Europe. And that's when I thought, oh, geez. And it was so funny, it's one of those moments that you think, wait a minute, this is all I've been begging for and waiting for, right?

It's a huge, massive opportunity to go to the next level, to I'll be the most junior speaker there, right? everybody else is light years ahead of me. I mean, massively. When you see this lineup, you're going to freak out. It's so unbelievable. It's exactly the kind of launch pad I need to really explode my business, which is what I've been waiting for, right? I've been praying for this kind of an opportunity, but now I'm sitting there to myself thinking, okay, I'm going to need to leave my son with this, you know, threat of COVID with schools and hoping that he would still be able to go in person. I'll have to find someone to stay and take care of him. I'll have to

take a 14-hour flight with a mascot, right? Just I'm thinking of, I don't, never been to this country before. I'll be traveling alone, right? I'm thinking of all these crazy things that in the past I never would have even worried about in my mind. Of course I said yes, just FYI. Of course I said yes. But in my mind, these are all the things I'm going through, which is how am I going to navigate this? How am I going to make this work? Is this safe? Right. And I did ask him that. I said, because you're in another country. I don't know what it's like there. What are the protocols, right? And, you know, so that was one element. I have to take a test before I can go into the country. I have to take a test before I can come back to our country. There's all these complexities around testing and some things I just haven't

had to deal with because I haven't left the country since the pandemic hit. And so again, when you don't know, it can seem a little scary or a little overwhelming. But it's just funny that here is the opportunity, I couldn't have dreamt up anything better, right? It's unbelievable. Everything that I have been hoping to step into, here it is, and now I'm feeling so overwhelmed and scared by it. And so I decided today, I just decided, okay, I'm going to post about this on social media and just see what people's feedback is like. And I'm so glad I did because overwhelming, I would say 95% of the people responded, get on that plane and go. find a way to make everything work and happen. This is exactly what you want. Your message needs to be heard, right? I got this

tremendous encouragement from basically everyone saying to go and figure it out along the way. And, you know, this is all about stepping into the unknown, stepping into fear. It's just a different one, right? It's something that I hadn't planned for or hadn't expected. And here it is. Yet again, it was funny. Somebody sent a picture of a little puppy on the side of a couch looking over, the edge, right? Like, should the puppy jump or not? And the man put something like, the puppy looks really curious as to what's on the other side. Do you think the puppy will jump? Well, of course the puppy's going to jump, right? The puppy's going to want to know. And I just realized that was an analogy for me that here I am sitting at home safe and painfully bored in my apartment,

wanting to make that leap, wanting to make that jump, wanting so badly to take that stage, wanting so bad to be in person, wanting that connection, right, wanting to go for it, wanting to step into more and go for more. And here I am being like the puppy sitting there and hesitating for a minute. And I was super grateful for that encouragement and feedback. And again, I am vaccinated. And of course I will wear a mask. And of course I will be cautious as that's really important to me to stay healthy.

But it's just, again, another reminder that stepping into the fear, stepping into the unknown, stepping into the uncertainty is the answer. And I constantly talk about this, but I talk about it because I need to be reminded of it. And it was just so obvious today. And I'm so grateful for all the people that encouraged me and reminded me what was important that my message needs to be heard and that this is what I've been longing for and missing is the in-person events. And this is the ideal venue. And right, there's all these stars are lining up. And And that's when you need to go, even though it might seem scary. So you might have something scary or intimidating going on right now.

And I want to remind you that that answer is always about stepping into the unknown, stepping into unfamiliar, going into fear, going for more. That's how we grow, right? That's the growth phase. That's the opportunity to get better, to push ourselves beyond where we've already been. And that's what life's really all about. So if success was easy, everybody would have it, right? If headlining this conference was easy, everyone would have that opportunity.

So there's going to be some roadblocks and obstacles along the way that make it a little more challenging. That's life. That's part of the process. And there's still this huge opportunity, you know, that's ahead of me that I'm super excited for. I can't wait for. And again, I appreciate all the positive feedback I got on social media, which really reminded me that my answer is always going to be, step into fear, step into the unknown, and just go for it, go for more. So it's interesting in that you work so hard to write the book, right? Then you're scared to put the book out. You

work so hard to get the speaking engagements and then feel frustrated you're on Zoom for a year and a half. And then a huge in-person event comes with thousands of people in Europe, which sounds so amazing. And I feel scared again. So I'm just sharing with you today that we never know what lies ahead of us. Before Labor Day, I had no idea this opportunity was going to be presented to me. This could completely change the trajectory of my business. And it all comes down to stepping into the fear, taking action and finding ways to make it work. So I can promise you I'm going to do all of that, even though none of it seems seamless or easy right now, I am super, super excited for it. So just like that woman that got fired that decided to put up a post similar to mine, within 24 hours, her whole life had changed.

Her whole disposition, perspective, and sense of hope changed and the opportunities in front of her change because she took action and did something differently. So I'm asking you today, what action could you take? What step do you need to make into fear, into unknown so that you can start chasing your potential? What post do you need to put up? What person do you need to ask for help? You know, ask yourself that question. And maybe it's like me, maybe you got the opportunity somewhere in your world right now, but you're afraid to take it. And I'm telling you, I'm going. So I really think you should too, no matter what that is. And that looks differently for all of us. But just remember, where is it that you really want to go? You know, pick your head up and think if you're not happy in the situation that you're currently in and the business. that you're currently in and the job you're currently in, pick your head up with intention and start asking yourself, what do you want your future to look like? And then start taking messy action every day to figure a way out to get there and keep putting it out to the universe, what it is that you want to do, where it is that you want to go and accept the unknown that you're not going to

have the answers every day that you wake up. I certainly do not. But sometimes, obviously, opportunity just shows up. And that is an amazing feeling. It also means anything is possible. Who knows what's going to happen this week? It's just like the spin class. We go in there not knowing what that playlist is going to sound like or what moves we're going to do or what the instructor is going to tell us to do. But that's what makes it really exciting. So I'm heading into this week, super grateful for this opportunity, super excited. I'll say instead of nervous, super excited for it, fine line between fear and excitement. and willing to have that perspective that anything could happen this week too. I don't know what lies ahead of me for this week. You don't know what lies ahead of you for this week. And that's really, really exciting.

So I'm hoping there are huge things for you. I'm hoping that you are putting out to the universe the big things that you want to do. And let's see what unfolds. Let's be hopeful about what that future has. Because as I look back on this woman who found herself fired without a job I've been sitting around for a couple weeks getting depressed. She decided to take action, put herself out there, step into uncomfortable and unknown, and now she's got a ton of opportunities and her life changed in 24 hours.

So this is just your PSA to step into the unknown, step into the fear, and know that you're not alone. I'm doing it with you. And if you want to do it with me, join my VIP book launch team. Go to Overcome Your Villains.com right now. scroll to the bottom, click join VIP book launch team. And every other week we meet on Zoom and I do live Q&As, I do talks. You'll get my $299 confidence video course for free, my Overcome Your Villains Workbook for free, the first chapter of the book for free. There's so much stuff you're going to get for free because I want to give you a ton of value and ask for your help on my team. So I'd love to

have you join the book launch team. Check it out, Overcomeyourvillans.com. And if you could, leave a rating and review of this show and share the show on social media. It helps so much. And just remember, no one succeeds alone, and that includes me. All right, until next week, I hope you'll be creating your confidence. Know that I'll be right there with you.